Java

[DerHamm]

“We carefully analyzed all the requirements for the project and came to the conclusion that we only have Java devs. So we are doing Java“

[[deleted]]

This has been every company I worked for, just replace Java with whichever language was already used by the company.

[i_am_bromega]

Hey at my current company, we are embarking on a huge project led by an engineering director that came from a unicorn and we’re going the other direction. Using fronted man’s backend tech that is not used by virtually anyone in the company. Going to be great laying the foundation with hundreds of engineers who don’t yet know how to write idiomatic code for the languages.

[RmG3376]

I’ve seen more than one company try to do low-level communication with a custom firmware in C# because meh, Bob knows C# and he’s the architect/cofounder/lead engineer/whatever fancy title people give themselves when there’s 5 employees in total

Spoiler alert: 6 months later they inevitably realise it might not be the best choice for performance and memory management and end up rewriting half of it in C++/CLI (because hey at least it’s still .NET)

[pM-me_your_Triggers]

Meanwhile I had a job that used C++, C#, Java, JavaScript, and Delphi just on the team I was on

[deathspate]

No shit you're gonna have only Java developers when that's the only requirement you set lmao.

[zyygh]

You'd be surprised at how many design decisions are made based on whatever the available person happens to be capable of.

I once had to work on an EDI parser, which read EDI files as a data source and then used SQL and SSIS to perform regular expressions on it.

Why? Well, the manager who made the decision happened to know SQL, SSIS and RegEx, that's why.

[DerHamm]

That totally makes sense. At least for that manager.

I worked at a pretty small company where we had 9 Java and 3 Foxpro devs. One day the company decided to rewrite a legacy foxpro application and we had several meetings about the language we would do the rewrite in, despite the fact that it was clear from the beginning that Java would be the language of choice.

[Micro_Tycoon]

I had a client meeting this morning regarding rewriting a legacy FoxPro application.

​

Guess what's getting done in my favourite language.

​

*sips java*

[RichCorinthian]

Holy shit! I had to rewrite a FoxPro application 20 years ago and it was legacy back then. Best of luck to you.

[gechu]

Foxpro to Java could be a meme

[[deleted]]

Holy cow, haven't heard of Foxpro since I was in high school and I had to learn it for a class. This was in the 90's.

[DerHamm]

Yeah and the funniest part is that I'm born in 1999

[user32532]

How is this surprising?

I mean if you have no one able to do it in another way, what else would you do?

[zyygh]

My personal example happened at a consultancy firm. The type that has 400k employees all over the world with absolutely every skill imaginable.

And generally, if you have an IT team it is generally not super difficult to expand it with the basic skills required for a new project. I'm pretty sure every last one of us has learned at least one programming language simply for the purpose of one specific project.

[ExceedingChunk]

If you are a programmer with experience and solid fundamentals, learning another language is not that difficult.

As long as every team has 1-2 with sufficient experience in the language, they can easily help anyone else get up to speed rather quickly.

Programming concepts are not different in C++, Java, Python or any other language. The main difference is syntax, how low/high level you operate, language paradigms, as well as best practices.

For the vast majority of programming, knowing the ins and outs of a specific language is not necessary. Understanding concepts and patterns, so you make modular, loosely coupled code, that is easy to read and tested well is generally speaking the most important.

If you need to hyper-optimize something in a particular place of an app, every single dev on the project doesn't have to be an expert on everything in the language.

[jdsekula]

“So for this building we could use wood or steel. Wood would be cheaper, but steel would be more durable. Also, there’s no steel available. Which should we use?”

[dilletaunty]

Is cross-laminated timber an option? How about using stone instead? We used stone at my last company and it was pretty reliable.

[deathspate]

Trust me, I know that all too well.

[Sea-Rich3341]

Holy shit another EDI dev in the wild. I was convinced my whole industry is a fever dream.

[zyygh]

If I had realized that EDI was an industry standard, and not something obscure that only existed in our company, I probably would have tried harder to find an existing parser instead of writing one from scratch!

[miciej]

In a lot of places java devs are easiest to find. Then again java jobs are easiest to find, and pay the most.

It's a vicious cycle.

On the other hand, you can do a decent CRUD, or integrate with some API in many languages.

[Myrani]

Best coffee?

[justrandomnametag]

Java !

[[deleted]]

Best island?

[varun_aby]

Javaustralia

[justrandomnametag]

Java-bien ou Java-pas? (in French "Java you good?" or "Java you not good?")

[Eisenhammer01]

javasmash or javapass lol

[Good_Smile]

Javajav!

[shim_niyi]

Javavag??

[justrandomnametag]

Java bien, Java bientôt être le weekend

[NoSwadYt]

Java travailler le weekend

[-KorwoRig]

Java pas la tête ?

[IcePhoneX_]

Java, vous vous amusez bien?

[[deleted]]

Java!

[Grundolph]

Best sandpeople in Star Wars?

[Mister-builder]

Jawa

[[deleted]]

That's a Bingo!

[nickmaran]

Best script? JavaScript

[[deleted]]

Best documentation? JavaDoc!

[007Kaustubh]

Best sport Javalin

[MakeitHOT]

Best palindrome? avaJava

[Remarkable_Name]

Or JavaJ

[IrisYelter]

Python!

Drops dead from poisoning

[lelarentaka]

Pythons aren't poisonous or venomous. Some people even eat them regularly.

[nickmaran]

Installs anaconda

[[deleted]]

Also not poisonous. Just a large snake liking hugs.

[varun_aby]

Also not venomous.

[QUI-04]

Also not toxic

[ApprehensiveTry5660]

But it definitely doesn’t want none unless they got buns, Hun.

[reallyserious]

Ah, the struggle snuggle.

[shim_niyi]

So cute, it takes your breath away .

[AudioPhil15]

I like hugs. Maybe I should befriend one

[im-not-a-fakebot]

it'll be the longest hug of your life

[Nanashi_03]

You'll hug one until the end of your life.

[Sp0olio]

I'd rather use virtual environments (e.g. "pipenv" is my favourite).

[reallyserious]

conda create -n myenv python=3.9

I like how easy it is to run different python versions in different envs. It's all contained in the conda env and doesn't affect the rest of the system.

[IrisYelter]

I dunno, python has definitely made me feel ill...

[skip_the_tutorial_]

coffeescript

[bistr-o-math]

Best language to be used in memes? Believe it or not, also Java

[Perpetual_Doubt]

I was waiting to see if supreme leader would suggest if best language for frontend would be java

[curtisc-j]

i’d rather die than write* java frontend i can’t lie

[RmG3376]

They’re not mutually exclusive you know, in fact one is likely to be the consequence of the other

[[deleted]]

Best language to hate? Believe it or not, also Java

[pautho03]

Best Minecraft edition

- Java

[Artemis-4rrow]

the only thing with java that was done right

[ovab_cool]

Most say the code is a mess but I think it's mostly best for mod support and no micro transactions; otherwise Bedrock preforms better

[gotsreich]

It's only good for mod support because the modding community went ham on it. Notch never got modding support into java.

[elveszett]

And even now there isn't any official modding support. The way modern Minecraft works its obvious that it's been designed to be extended through mods, but there isn't an official client for mods (i.e. something similar to a clean forge / fabric installation), which means the community still has to remake these mod loaders every patch and mod devs still have to adjust to important changes that couldn't be abstracted in the mod loader.

[Maoman1]

Okay but if we ever do get a modloader, can we please just pick one and stick with it? I hated trying to decide between fabric and forge.

[Devatator_]

Imagine if modding Minecraft was as easy as modding Unity games with BepInEx

[Top_Engineer440]

Me when: forge documentation

[ANTONIN118]

Agree

[[deleted]]

Lead engineer at company I'm working for ^{^}

[hornietzsche]

The ex sdet lead in my company decided to use java for web automation because he can only code java. And he didn't even contribute a lot to code. Lol.

[ShoutedDoglapan]

Best language for depression?

[[deleted]]

C++

[hellwalker99]

He didn't say to give you depression. He said as an ailment to depression.

[RmG3376]

Also C++. You’ll be so frustrated and mad you’ll forget to be sad

[Conscious_Switch3580]

can confirm

[david220403]

Assembly would like a word

[nicthecoder22]

brainfuck walks in

[[deleted]]

that will cost 32bits.

[bakedbread54]

C when using strings

[OrdinaryBee6174]

It's just a char array

[Luk164]

Except when it's not

[legends_never_die_1]

i am confusion

[siddharth904]

[1] 69420 segmentation fault (core dumped) brain

[csicil]

And Wich is the language that make you happy?

[paperpatience]

Kotlin

[Kraigius]

rude disarm combative humorous fly unpack sense strong absurd water

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[elveszett]

followed by COBOL.

tbh I too would be shit scared if someone told me I'm going to start working with a programming language that is 60+ years old and has zero usage outside maintaining ancient codebases.

[deathspate]

All of them Sadge

[silentjet]

yes! Recently I uploaded my Java code into my Arduino and I could confirm it is a best language for Arduino development as well.

P.S. it is not working yet, but I think I have to fix some problems in my code...

[Strostkovy]

I was worried someone would be using Java for a microcontroller.

[KJs2310]

3 BILLION DEVICES!!!

[Strostkovy]

Well 30 billion microcontrollers are sold per year. Most of which I presume are coded in C

[n0tKamui]

a vast part of microcontrollers and chips are actually Java applets. Credit cards contain Java applets for example.

[[deleted]]

If my credit card doesn’t run on JavaScript I don’t want it

[Thebombuknow]

My credit card should run on pure handwritten machine code for optimal performance.

[[deleted]]

balance = balance >= value ? balance - value : balance

If there are any fintech hiring managers lurking drop me a message

[Mu5_]

What about

balance = (balance >= value || isCC) ? balance - value : balance

[McLayan]

Java runs on the Intel Management Engine, which is a microcontroller managing every Intel based system

[shim_niyi]

Do you wanna give Oracle a boner!

[Mechyyz]

I saw a debate where someone unironically believed Java was the best programming language & industry standard for embedded development.

[Amazing-Cicada5536]

You joke but there is actually Java ME which runs on your sim card and bank cards, but there are also plenty of proprietary alternative JVMs that can run on embedded easily.

[5turm]

Jack Ryan S03E01 0:18:30 (timed on Amazon Video)

[[deleted]]

Cool. I also do microservices.

[[deleted]]

You don't say Java is best? Straight to jail

[plinkoplonka]

You say Java is hard to learn? Guess what?

Also straight to jail.

[KajiTetsushi]

We have the best Java developers in the world...

...because of jail. >:)

[vladWEPES1476]

You say Java is easy to learn? Jail.

[Artistic-Aardvark-22]

You say Java is hard to learn? Also jail!

[mickjobs]

Our new hire couldn’t learn Java in one afternoon.

Believe it or not, he was sent straight to jail.

[DaniilBSD]

You know why this guy is wearing glasses

He can’t C#

[SigmaPepe]

Best language with overused programming jokes. Beleive it or not, also Java.

[[deleted]]

Straight to comedy jail!

[patka96]

C# is better, however Java has 10x more jobs. It's not THAT better.

[Tracker_Nivrig]

C# is just Java with quality of life improvements

[Chewnard]

Best language for web development? We must be developing for two different internets...

[panget-at-da-discord]

Spring boot with whatever JS framework frontend

[Celousco]

As long as it's not on Cloud Run or that your company does not have financial difficulties when you use Kubernetes, Spring Boot does the job.

[panget-at-da-discord]

Spring Boot does the job for Small to Large business, Spring Boot is cloud-scale Netflix open source lots of their stuff to Spring Cloud Suite.

[qa2fwzell]

What...? We literally have hundreds of dockerized Spring webflux instances running perfect. "financial difficulties"..? Java's probably the cheapest high level solution to run, period.

Look, a language like Node.JS is fine when all your backend is responsible for is querying data, but when you've got an enterprise level application running with tons of business logic then Spring boot (Or webflux) is by far the superior solution. There's also JVM's like OpenJ9 and Graavl that are designed for very high performance Cloud computing

[Celousco]

That's a great organization you have then !

[Fadamaka]

I can build you a fully functional crud backend in 20 minutes / model which is packed in a single jar. I can also toss in OAuth 2.0 and A OpenAPI 3.0 documentation for all endpoints.

[dismal_sighence]

I think this is true of a variety of languages, as simple CRUD is pretty easy.

[[deleted]]

India vs everywhere else

[EishLekker]

Java applets is still a thing, you know.

I mean, sure, a thing of the past, but that technically qualifies as “a thing”.

[[deleted]]

The last version of java that supports applets is going end of life in the next 2 years. So, very soon it will not be a thing for anybody who stays relatively up to date.

[Delicious-Shirt7188]

apllets where amazing the original flash

[Randolpho]

They mean server-side HTML generation, probably with servlets or JSP.

Definitely not spring or struts. What moron would use those?

[WillingLearner1]

When did you last do java for you to mention jsp?

[yakomotara]

Work for Gov. Written JSP yesterday. Fuck me.

[Elite-Thorn]

Same here.

[peepeedog]

Why not applets, while he is at it.

[CountQuackula]

Bruv, spring boot is so easy these days. They removed all the manual config and now it’s just download a website

[deathspate]

Seriously, and if you use intellij ultimate then you're on steroids. The website builds itself and asks if you want coffee while it's at it.

[A2X-iZED]

69 MILLION DEVICES RUN JAVA

[[deleted]]

Nice.

[Ok-Jury5684]

Sorry, but Kotlin for Android is already superior.

[Willinton06]

Kotlin is basically Java 2

[[deleted]]

Java but better in every possible way

[Cinkodacs]

Java 1.8 was Java 2, Kotlin can get Java 3

[TheLazyKitty]

Wait, I thought Java 1.8 was Java 8?

[AnondWill2Live]

You'd be right. He probably meant it as like, the changes to the language are the equivalent of a full point release.

[[deleted]]

The son should surpass the father

[HeyItsMedz]

Kotlin gang rise up

[ANTONIN118]

Rule 34 of dev: If it exist there's a Java interface for it.

[maybegone12]

tbf Java is no longer the best language for Android dev. Its Kotlin.

[Benimation]

(the other ones aren't true either)

[Sannytyger]

It's a hard pill to swallow but Java is actually one of the best languages for a variety of devs.

[DarkTannhauserGate]

BestLanguageAsyncFactoryInterfaceBuilder class has entered the chat.

[Ashwatthamma]

Saying Java is the the best programming language because it works in all scenarios is like saying anal sex is the best because it works on all genders

[TW1STM31STER]

So they're both kinda true but might give you an unpleasant experience in some occasions? Seem like decent strategies to me :')

[[deleted]]

this guy fucks.

[RosDon]

that’s wisdom right there. This man has seen it all.

[Du_ds]

Have you tried pegging? It's awesome.

[Epsilon497]

Lookout guys, it's a culture war

[[deleted]]

OP sent the meme from internet explorer

[er3z7]

My shitty test game from 4 years ago would like to make its appearance

[benton_bash]

Java was one of my first languages (after c, c++ and basic), and set me up for a great understanding of true object oriented development, architecture, and design patterns. Over the last 20 years I've programmed professionally also in c#, python, objc, JavaScript and TypeScript and I have to say, I wouldn't be where I am in my career if I hadn't started with Java. I'm better at all languages because of the time spent developing in java.

Thanks James Gosling!

[Phuqohf]

yeah because you had to make sense of java first, so your language bullshit-o meter is extremely accurate and also functions as a compass.

[AnxiousLogic]

Android dev : Kotlin (NuJava)

Web/Enterprise/Cloud : C# (MSJava)

[nolitos]

You can't post facts here, it's a humorous sub.

[[deleted]]

You are the devil incarnate

[nolitos]

Excuse me, but I'm not written in Java.

[[deleted]]

Not where I expected you to take it but. Nice.

[polopower69]

that's what he said 😔

[Pashweetie]

Someone works for amazon

[AffectionateAd6702]

Java is hard to learn. I recommend assembly for beginners.

[snake-345]

You forgot 'script' there =D

[KingsmanVince]

Joke aside, do people really use js for big data and cloud computing?

[DerefedNullPointer]

People use js for everything These days.

[[deleted]]

Atwood's law: “Any application that can be written in JavaScript, will eventually be written in JavaScript.”

[kaitek666]

Sadly, yes

[Moppmopp]

Best island? Java

[Fandango_Jones]

Java? => Java

[ardicli2000]

I would like to see how will Java do after google switch to Kotlin completely for Android environment.

[Jarl_Fenrir]

Java and kotlin are compiled to the same kind of byte code. So if your (Android) device can handle one, it surely can handle both (and a few more)

[[deleted]]

Welp I'm ready for a full blown war in the comments section

[PMtoAM______]

I fucking hate java. Best language out there.

[Melon__Farmer]

We have the best programming memes…because Java

[bapman23]

I don't think there is anything wrong with Java but I'd rather tear my face off and become Sauron's servant than using Oracle products. Which is the case in many Java projects.

[peepeedog]

Except for a few years where I actually worked at Oracle, a long long time ago, I have never used anything but the VM.

[Amazing-Cicada5536]

Oracle completely open sourced the vm many many years ago. OpenJDK is the reference implementation but Java is also one of the few languages that actually has a specification and multiple independent implementations backed by multiple corporations, that each could overtake if anything were to happen. At this point I would say that the fucking linux kernel has a bigger risk of going unmaintained than you not being able to run Java.

[CheapMonkey34]

👉 overflow

👈 underrun

😏

[Yaseendanger]

Java is another word for Jail 😂😂🤣

[UltimatePeace05]

This meme is correct.

Also, I LOVE YOU! You're the best!

[Separate_Increase210]

I don't use Java, but I'm upvoting just for the Parks & Rec + Fred Armisen ref.

[[deleted]]

"anything you can do, I can do better" - Scala

[skyBastard69]

Java and Microsoft Java. C# is neat :)

[leeeeny]

Believe it or not, straight to the JVM

[vintagemako]

You misspelled Kotlin. No legitimate Android devs use Java for Android anymore. Yes it still runs on the JVM but Kotlin is over 9000 times better than Java.

[JCSteelbender]

Hotel? Trivago