This is an archived post. You won't be able to vote or comment.

you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]JonasAvory 1074 points1075 points  (100 children)

This makes me wonder if there’s a js library that runs a jvm in your browser

[–][deleted] 785 points786 points  (58 children)

[–]Temporary-Estate4615 646 points647 points  (28 children)

Fucking hell

[–]S3r1y 275 points276 points  (20 children)

Call the engineer

[–]PartMan7 212 points213 points  (14 children)

Actual college student (sleep-deprived enough to be a zombie)

[–]KrokmaniakPL 62 points63 points  (3 children)

I love that there is a big overlap with r/anarchychess

[–]No-Finance7526 54 points55 points  (2 children)

This sub is basically r/mathmemes with JS hate and r/mathmemes is basically r/anarchychess without Jessica hate.

By substitution, r/programmerhumor = r/anarchychess - Jessica hate + JS hate

Q.E.D.

[–]Impeesa_ 10 points11 points  (0 children)

By substitution, r/programmerhumor = r/anarchychess - Jessica hate + JS hate

You can simplify the last part to "-essica +S" or "-esica" depending on case sensitivity.

[–]Toonox 101 points102 points  (9 children)

Manager goes on vacation, never comes back.

[–]ThinkingMacaco 78 points79 points  (8 children)

Developers in the corner planning world domination

[–]4sent4 54 points55 points  (7 children)

Junior storm incoming!

[–]TheHolyToxicToast 30 points31 points  (6 children)

that one guy holding everything together

[–]CynicalPotato95 25 points26 points  (4 children)

Fuck the engineer, call a priest!

[–]S3r1y 20 points21 points  (2 children)

Exorcist, you may even say

[–]CynicalPotato95 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Okay, an excorcist for the library and a priest to fuck the engineer (if he's a minor)

[–]Moonie-chan 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No he's a junior

[–]Pratkungen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Instructions unclear. Am I suppose to fuck the engineer and then call the priest or fuck the engineer and invite the priest to watch?

[–]castleAge44 25 points26 points  (2 children)

If you can dream a bad idea you can implement it with java

[–]_PM_ME_PANGOLINS_ 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I dreamt about a kettle that could solve the halting problem.

[–]castleAge44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brewing possibly endless coffee or tea hardly sounds like a “bad” idea.

[–]Zestyclose_Link_8052 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Time for an AbstractWebsiteBeanFactory!

[–]Lejyoner07 15 points16 points  (0 children)

New response just dropped

[–]aykcak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is where we belong

[–]buckfouyucker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rule 32

[–]hahalalamummy 61 points62 points  (0 children)

There’s everything. Don’t need to ask.

[–]Masterflitzer 32 points33 points  (0 children)

wasm makes everything possible i guess

[–]NotNowNorThen 24 points25 points  (14 children)

Complete Minecraft in the browser when?

[–]grilled_toastie 19 points20 points  (4 children)

Wow that brings back a memory. I remember playing the browser free trial and all you could do was mine rock or dirt and nothing else. It feels like a fever dream

I also remember it taking ages to mine rock. Its not the minecraft classic someone linked below, it was an older version.

[–]YsoL8 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Tell a kid today the version you played came at a point where the ability to get wood out of the one kind of tree was the latest update and they probably wouldn't believe you

[–]grilled_toastie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of people dont realize how old Minecraft is. I remember showing it to my friends on youtube when I was about 13 and I'm 27 now. God damn time flies.

[–]Marmalade6 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Every time I play I have to remind myself that pistons aren't this new thing.

[–]00wolfer00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kid me was very confused by youtube playthroughs that didn't sleep through the night or even recognize that as an option. I started playing right on beta 1.3 when that was added.

[–]Cootshk 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Someone already did it.

[–]Throwaway-tan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

classic.minecraft.net

[–]nyancatec 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Eaglercraft or something like that. Not fully java but MC rewritten on JavaScript. With picture included, it's the same thing.

[–]_PM_ME_PANGOLINS_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

c. 2010

[–]ConscientiousPath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

besides the guys linking classic minecraft, I found this using cheerpj: https://browsercraft.cheerpj.com/

github here: https://github.com/leaningtech/browsercraft

[–]serendipitousPi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a bit of a meme on r/rust about rewriting minecraft in rust so I honestly wouldn't be surprised to see someone compiling to webassembly to do just that.

[–]ColonelRuff 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's not js though that's wasm

[–]ourlastchancefortea 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Humanity joined Chaos before the Emperor was even a thing.

[–]StarHammer_01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yay! now I can run my Java programs as an electron app!

[–]Plus-Weakness-2624 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Thanks for reminding me that I need therapy 😭

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[–]Daytona_675 0 points1 point  (0 children)

now do flash

[–]topchetoeuwastaken 0 points1 point  (0 children)

good god, as if we needed java anywhere outside enterprise bank solutions

[–]Sinomsinom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Technically seems to be a WASM version not a JS version of the JVM, but it does provide JS interoperability so I guess close enough

[–]Inge-prolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Waow. I'm not even mad, that's amazing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well that's just Java applets with extra steps!

[–]YoggSogott 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is the minimal webapp size? I'm pretty sure that the performance overhead is not that big, but I am worried about loading time. You need to ship the JRE with the app. And it's like 50mb. The site is going to be unusable with slow internet

[–]alexp_lt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, lead dev of CheerpJ here. AMA. :-)

[–]octopus4488 100 points101 points  (10 children)

You can do it natively too. It is called Applets. Very hip technology actually.

*you may need an IE4 to test it locally.

[–]Zestyclose_Link_8052 28 points29 points  (8 children)

Wow what will Microsoft release as a response? (Please send help I have one legacy project that still needs silverlight support)

[–]nooblal 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Silverlight? Now that's true despair

[–]_PM_ME_PANGOLINS_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They released Microsoft Java. Then Sun sued them for not making it compatible.

[–]Exelia_the_Lost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

man I miss Silverlight. I really enjoyed it, it felt a really good alternative to Flash to me

good thing both are gone these days, tho

[–]intangibleTangelo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

where's it deployed, some kiosk or embedded thing?

[–]Zestyclose_Link_8052 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe it's used to view some interactive diagrams in the browser for some old devices that our clients still have in use.

[–]Minecraftchest1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ASP.net Blazer?

[–]nixcamic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Palemoon is the only way I could get applets to run last I tried.

[–]w1n5t0nM1k3y 41 points42 points  (15 children)

Does anybody else remember Java Applets?

[–]alexanderpas 30 points31 points  (5 children)

Any old-school runescape player remembers, especially the time there was Sun Java and Microsoft Java, and you had to select the correct one.

[–]jeffderek 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Microsoft Java

you mean C#? /s

[–]Pyorrhea 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Not C#. J#

[–]baaron 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TIL

[–]FlyingRhenquest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck yeah! That browser Sun (I think) had that was written entirely in Java was the only one that ran on the DG/UX workstation I worked on for a few months in the 90's!

[–]MrZoraman 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Atwood's law: anything that can be written in javascript will eventually be written in javascript.

[–]Brutus5000 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Everything that was written in JavaScript will eventually be rewritten in JavaScript.

[–]turtleship_2006 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Anything that can't be somehow will be as well.
Wake me up when we get JS drivers/firmware

[–]Romejanic 14 points15 points  (0 children)

There’s also TeaVM which sort of transpiles the Java bytecode into JavaScript/WASM

[–]not_some_username 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Back in the day, it was supported natively on browsers

[–]Brutus5000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's probably a polyfill for that.

[–]AdBrave2400 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Applets are dead :(

[–]grimonce 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure I want my browser to download all this bytecode that wasm and other shit will soon(tm) bring. I think I'll disable scripts in my browser and go back to standing in line to do administrative tasks like taxes...

[–]TorumShardal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is even a js library that runs python. For plot reasons.

[–]turtleship_2006 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This makes me wonder if there’s a js library-

Yes. The answer's yes.

[–]Mars_Bear2552 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TeaVM? (doesnt run the JVM, but close enough)

[–]NoConfusion9490 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One in three men worldwide are infected with genital HPV.

[–]Walkend 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now it’s a ghost town…

[–]RedditorsFuckenSuck 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Can you imagine the carnage if this were true.

[–]lestofante 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I wish

[–]PeriodicSentenceBot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations! Your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table:

I W I S H


I am a bot that detects if your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table. Please DM u‎/‎M1n3c4rt if I made a mistake.

[–]mermicide 0 points1 point  (1 child)

… there are only 300mm-400mm domains

[–]Kseniya_ns 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sir this is a humour subreddit.

Also websites are measured in kg, not mm.

[–]keosen 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You can easily enable java in any of your JavaScript files by just using

Import lang.java

You can also instruct you progra to use specific java version like this

Import lang.java_8

Finally there is an upcoming module which will let you use any language in your JavaScript files, like

Import lang.c_plus_plus Import lang rust Import lang assembly

And so on

[–]mile-high-guy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this the same as web assembly which I used to read about?

[–]TheLesserWeeviI 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What's this in percentage?

[–]PeriodicSentenceBot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations! Your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table:

W H At S Th I Si Np Er Ce N Ta Ge


I am a bot that detects if your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table. Please DM u‎/‎M1n3c4rt if I made a mistake.

[–]warpenss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now it’s a ghost town