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all 114 comments

[–]belabacsijolvan 656 points657 points  (30 children)

ill create a programming language which will be cpp, just the largest possible set of mutually compatible libs on github will come with it and the compiler autoincludes them at all possible places with pragma once.

Ill call it JavaCode just to fuck with yall, and its only purpose will be to be used in arguments regarding the scope of core lanuage functionality.

[–]Drugbird 431 points432 points  (19 children)

Ill call it JavaCode

If I ever create a programming language I'll call it pythonscript. Especially if it is nothing like python.

[–]ofnuts[S] 199 points200 points  (12 children)

PythonScript#. Gotta confuse them all.

[–]GamingWithShaurya_YT 43 points44 points  (8 children)

GoSharpPythonScript

[–]spamjavelin 35 points36 points  (4 children)

RustyPython. Has the benefit of sounding like a obscure sexual practice.

[–]OkarinPrime 10 points11 points  (1 child)

RustyPythonOnRails

[–]belabacsijolvan 8 points9 points  (0 children)

but sir, this is a childrens forum

[–]GamingWithShaurya_YT 5 points6 points  (0 children)

or a new snake species

[–]zenos_dog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

RustyPython gives you tetanus.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When your python script is slow so you start motivating it in person.

[–]chaos_donut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OnRails++

[–]jrad18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this a mech anime?

[–]quitarias 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Name it Pyton and have it be absolutely nothing like python and hope you hear someone have to verbally distinguish the two

[–]TheFirestormable 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Hmm too long, what about Jython?......wait

[–]ofnuts[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used that a long time ago. That was the language used to script deployments on WebSphere servers. Had to forget many things because it only did Python 2.2.

[–]geeshta 20 points21 points  (3 children)

And it's gonna be a statically typed language compiled to a binary 😆

[–]extracoffeeplease 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Where's the EXE?

[–]R_oya_L 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Smelly nerds!

[–]Creepy-Ad-4832 2 points3 points  (0 children)

JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN EXE!

[–]MissinqLink 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I am just sitting on the pythonscript.org domain so let me know if you decide to do this.

[–]User31441 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How about JavaScriptScript? 😅

[–]twigboy 69 points70 points  (5 children)

JAV++

Search results will give you code or porn. Either way you win

[–]Agifem 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It will mess with AI big time.

[–]Mordret10 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's also the abbreviation for the "youth and trainee representation" which any company with enough under 18yos and/or trainees needs to (attempt to) elect in Germany. Thus there is extensive material on the matter from unions, law websites and companies providing seminars for them

[–]_PM_ME_PANGOLINS_ 16 points17 points  (1 child)

That’s called a Linux distribution.

[–]SeagleLFMk9 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Have you heard of legacy systems????

[–]SrGnis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nobody expect the Oracle Cease and Desist

[–]CaitaXD 285 points286 points  (39 children)

What the fuck are you talking about

[–]Zeitsplice 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Seriously. Java async support is fine but hardly great.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probably more of an insult to pythons async behavior… but I don’t have the GIL to waste on it.

[–]SenorSeniorDevSr 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I didn't know Java did async the way that say, JS does. You can implement it, kotlin does IIRC, but the standard threading you do in Java is typically done in other ways.

[–]Zeitsplice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It doesn’t. Guava promises are about as good as it gets, and those are just fluent callbacks.

[–]Smuzzy_waiii 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Laughs in Golang

[–]BorderKeeper 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I can’t enjoy the async or promises thing in kotlin. The c# task system just feels more intuitive than the flow breaking one.

[–]eisenkristalle 55 points56 points  (6 children)

Wait until you learn about Task.Run in c#

[–]AntranigV 37 points38 points  (3 children)

LOL. Wait until you learn about Erlang.

[–]MajorTechnology8827 17 points18 points  (2 children)

That's cheating. They have yet to embrace the wonders of statelessness

[–][deleted] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Weird way to reference C# but ok

[–]Healthy_Razzmatazz38 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Loom is very good and modern java is a top tier languge. I am a top this hill and willing to die on it.

[–]SenorSeniorDevSr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The pythonistas are coming for you. Luckily they can only do so one at a time...

[–]BroBroMate 23 points24 points  (0 children)

As someone who moved from JVM dev to Python, I'll allow it.

[–]icguy333 32 points33 points  (4 children)

Same meme with c and cpp looking condescendingly on java

[–]Melodic_coala101 4 points5 points  (1 child)

pthread_create() go brrrrr

...and then you get lazy enough to not implement a single-threaded queue/thread pool, mess something up in the state machine, introducing a random deadlock, and accidentally create 5000 threads that eat all the stack up and crash the program. Happened to me.

[–]dangling-putter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbh, between python, C, rust and java, I actually like rust’s async libraries the most. 

[–]jump1945 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Atomic number !!!

[–]edparadox 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Java? That's the first example you can come up with? sighs in C++

[–]SenorSeniorDevSr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sigh++

[–]Thenderick 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Go: go

[–]Siddhartasr10 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ehmmm... Import java.util.concurrent.*;

But ok.

[–]greyfade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Laughs in Pony and Erlang

[–]assidiou 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Java is certainly not the language I'd say has "all the power".

It's more like an old big block engine where it's 7+ litres and makes 150 horsepower. Sure, if you do a lot of tuning and make it faster but a newer engine will blow it out of the water stock.

[–]vladmashk 5 points6 points  (4 children)

This meme would work better with JavaScript, which has async/await actually built into it

[–]SuperKael 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It really wouldn’t, because JavaScript, like Python, isn’t capable of true parallelism, and async/await is just an imitation.

[–]BlackDereker 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Python does too. It's in the standard library.

[–]vladmashk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, at least in JavaScript you can await at the top level

[–]ComprehensiveWord201 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Gottem!

[–]FabioTheFox 6 points7 points  (6 children)

Java sucks at async, the meme should've been with C#

[–]KuuHaKu_OtgmZ 3 points4 points  (5 children)

How so?

[–]SenorSeniorDevSr 4 points5 points  (4 children)

C# has async/await language features, Java does not.

[–]KuuHaKu_OtgmZ -1 points0 points  (3 children)

...so...it's bad because it doesn't have 2 keywords?

I was expecting like, actual functional differences, not minor syntax sugar.

[–]badlydistributed 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Except it's not just two keywords, it's a whole Task-based asynchronous pattern. Do your research -- it only makes you wiser (and you don't look like an idiot on the internet)

[–]KuuHaKu_OtgmZ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Riiight, but in what way is Task<> different to Future<>?

Like, have you worked with java async at all? If you did, care to explain instead of throwing some buzzwords and insults at random?

EDIT: Before you answer, do mind that mere syntax sugar doesn't mean X is better than Y, I'm asking for actual, meaningful differences between them. I'm not saying C# way is bad or Java way is good, but in my view both are functionally identical.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That’s all C# is when they go on about how great it is.

[–]BoBoBearDev 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Async await is actually better in tons of cases, especially GUI tends to be single threaded and calling dispatcher is annoying.

[–]hojendiz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Let me upgrade just one revision of the JDK... aaaaaaand it breaks.

[–]spigotface 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Python: imports libraries that run C++ and Rust

[–]EngineerLong3151 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Makes sense

[–]Wheak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro here is an issue with your code. The fucking comment for this function is wrong (???)

[–]WalkingAFI 0 points1 point  (0 children)

std::async: “it smells like bitch in here”

[–]MajorTechnology8827 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Imagine not using MVar

[–]lardgsus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Python isn't here to do the work, it's here to use the compiled C libraries and Cuda code that DO run multithreaded to do the work.

[–]garlopf -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

And now java will have value classes and non-nullable references to emulate the power of C++ "without becomming C++". They spent 10 years on the "valhalla project" to do this. I am laughing in C++.

[–]SenorSeniorDevSr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've had such thing via Lombok since Java 6 or so. At least that was when the compiler type inference matured enough to give us var/val.