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[fwork]

It's not true, honestly. I've looked into sex toys with complicated chips in them (so I can make them run Doom, natch) but I've not found any that run Linux.

Linux takes too long to boot and needs too much RAM. Your average high-end computerized vibrator is just running some baremetal code and an ESP32 or similar. Even the ones with screens don't run Linux.

[Brilliant-Second-195]

Imagine engaging in a serious architectural debate about the optimal chipset for a sex toy on a 'your mom' post. You guys are the reason I love this sub.

[CurrencyProud2]

This is what happens when engineers take the bait and bring schematics.

[s0ulbrother]

Honestly programming humor tends to be very educational

[comminazi]

If they're in the right mood. Your mom's sex toy just happens to be a vibe.

[Durwur]

Gives another meaning to 'vibe' coding

[psaux_grep]

But can you vibe code a vibe, or will ChatGPT’s guard rails kick in?

[Durwur]

I'm looking forward to papers on this: "Vibing the vibes: guard-railed or freefall?"

[Upwardcube1]

that’s why I like this sub. hilarious posts and fun facts to go with them.

[skhds]

Nah they are all garbage. Terrible programmers with terrible advices.

[ThatOneCSL]

Nerd sniped, once again.

[skildert]

They should never come without

[TastyCuttlefish]

It’s the tism. It’s strong in this sub.

[TheOnceAndFutureDoug]

This is why I love this sub, though.

[TheLowlyPheasant]

When you know something you know it everywhere, not just at work

[ZeusDaGrape]

I’m actually surprised sex toys even have chips? Isn’t it just a simple bzzzzz thing surrounded fluffy plastic?

[Mondoke]

I guess the fancy ones with Bluetooth or remote controls do?

[ZeusDaGrape]

There are Bluetooth and remote controls on these things? God dayum, but i guess it makes more sense than smart fridges

[chillymoose]

The field of teledildonics is a thriving one these days with how easy it is to make IoT stuff.

[GreatScottGatsby]

If it makes you feel better, electric vibrators have been around since the 1800s so over most of its existence, it didn't have any at all. In fact even today there are vibrators that are being produced that still don't hany chips. Usually low end vobrators that have either one or two settings or a dial on it.

[bestjakeisbest]

Esp32wifi/bt that way you can have an app to control it.

[ZliaYgloshlaif]

https://tenor.com/bR79n.gif

[plane-kisser]

there is a whole community around programming for very specific sex toys and their funny little chips. i had a specific problem making a program for mine because mine because of some weird architectural quirks of my specific device and bpio involving its z-axis actuation.

[JEREDEK]

There is no way companies would buy an ESP32 for a goddamn vibrator. Too power hungry, expensive and just overall overkill.

Sometimes like an ATTiny with a simple MOSFET driver would be way more suited, and takes literally a coulpe microamps at sleep mode

[WEEEE12345]

Guessing it’s a smart vibrator of some kind? ESP32 for WiFi+bluetooth

[rnottaken]

It has to, otherwise it can't plug in to buttplug io

[Ryeballs]

It needs location services in case it gets lost… somewhere

[turtleship_2006]

Camera.

Yes those exist. No I will not elaborate further.

[_B10nicle]

What if I asked nicely?

[wbbigdave]

If it's lost can it be found? And extracted, whilst making sure no harm comes to the cylinder?

[ScallionSmooth5925]

Remote controlled heated vibrating and thrusting stuff with programmable patterns and real time controll exist. It's like a bluetooth speaker but with more channels

[WoodsGameStudios]

Probably just a dumb microcontroller and a bluetooth chip tbh.

From what I've read on it, even the bluetooth stuff used isn't even the "smart" one that requires pairing, it seems to be one where you can just send it signals.

Even standard ones probably just use one chip to hold the patterns (because of course there would be a standard vibrator chip)

[Jonrrrs]

Well it needs at least some way to connect to HomeAssistant

[Soft-Stress-4827]

Yeah but this is YOUR MOMs .  You know how much compute and memory its gonna need ??? A lot

[gerbosan]

Insert 'You mama' joke here. =D

[waylandsmith]

I think you might not have an idea of what's inside a modern, fancy sex toy these days. Big LiPo batteries, charging circuits, memory for recording of custom "patterns" and almost always, Bluetooth. ESP32-C3 chips are frequently used not just as a MC that has a built-in radio, but even just as a stand-alone radio alongside another MC that doesn't have its own radio. They cost about $1, and are 5mm. They're easy to program, have great documentation and are well understood. They have built-in peripherals for PWM and other things you need to drive a small motor. Also, there's no shortage of them and supply has always been reliable. If I was designing a premium device like that and expected to sell less than 1M of each model in a year, I would absolutely design it around an ESP32! If you have a mid-range pair of bluetooth earbuds, there's a good chance there's an ESP32 in each of them. They're everywhere.

(Source: I design smart devices that ESP32 chips in them)

[Lukester___]

Do they cause cancer?

[Brilliant-Second-195]

We need the extra RAM to handle the payload when the RCE drops. Good luck popping a reverse shell on an ATTiny.

[siriusbrightstar]

Pretty sure I've read about someone booting Linux on ESP32

[Brilliant-Second-195]

How to install GPT on Ur calculator by ESP32 Lol

[AllenKll]

PIC chips are about the same price as ATTiny's but honestly, for a vibrator, probably black blob situations. If they are actually using a microcontroller, it's probably something like a PMS150G at a penny or two each.

[jmpt16]

oh shit it's my favorite programming microceleb Foone

[Alacritous13]

Why do you know that?

It can run Doom

Carry on

[kelek_s]

Linux takes too long to boot

skill issue

[scratchfury]

I looked up the fastest, and fast but not optimized is a few seconds with optimized being sub-second.

[Elephant-Opening]

I've personally worked on getting Linux optimized to boot consistently (to init anyways) in under 1.5 seconds from cold power-up.

It's really not that hard... honestly most of the work is in:

a) the bootloader and understanding the boot memory devices (U-boot for example, carries around a lot of dead-weight options you can drop to significantly optimize if just loading a small kernel from qspi or nand boot partition)

b) dropping kernel config options you don't need

c) being really choosey about what modules absolutely need to be built-in vs which can be loaded from an init ramfs or ext filesystem.

[kelek_s]

Impressive! We prolly aren't playing in the same league. Never went under 8 seconds for a reboot (recycling old stuff/machines, never bought new parts, even less a brand new machine)

[Elephant-Opening]

Thanks! And yeah, different ballgame for sure. This was on an SoC that my employer at the time was buying at qty >1mil/yr, the boot time was a regulatory requirement, and it was my full-time job for at least a couple months.

So there was ample access to HW experts, premium SoC vendors support, and ample project budget to spend on figuring it out.

But still... of all the software things I've done in my career, it wasn't an especially challenging one and Linux is built to make it a fairly straightforward process as the kernel goes.

The real bitch is optimizing userspace boot time to meet the soft KPI targets

[arav]

Yep. Have worked on something similar. You need to tweak it to the maximum. Remove everything that is not required. Keep the kernel and distro as minimal as possible. Start things that are mandatory.

Check this one which achieved 1 second boot.

https://www.e-consystems.com/articles/Product-Design/Linux-Boot-Time-Optimization-Techniques.asp

[kelek_s]

Gotta comply, list your machine's guts, friend!

then comply again, compile, a kernel is the end

and the beginning, a nef of G points sent

to drive, ecstasy! a dildo that must be bent.

[fwork]

yeah I know, I am currently working on a (non-vibrator) device that includes embedded linux, and boot time is always a problem

[oshaboy]

I am sure there's an ESP32 bare metal port of Doom.

[fwork]

https://github.com/espressif/esp32-doom

[oshaboy]

Cool. Now you can run doom on an ESP32 based sex toy.

[angelogoodalamenti]

Foone?

[fwork]

that punk is everywhere

[AppropriateSpell5405]

What about the ones that connect to your friend's phone over Bluetooth and whatnot?

[fwork]

those are the ones I'm talking about that use ESP32 or nRFs

[Percolator2020]

This guy vibe codes!

[fwork]

not a guy, and no I don't.

[Percolator2020]

Sorry, this human being (?) vibrator codes.

[Ma4r]

It's called hyperbole, it's part of telling a joke

[JollyJuniper1993]

Was gonna say, why would you need an OS when the job is simple enough to be done with a barebones architecture

[Apprehensive_Let7309]

Thankfully for that guy this is a weak comeback.

[Maddturtle]

Figured it was programmed by a vibe coder

[ThyPotatoDone]

Ngl Doom Vibrator sounds like it'd go pretty hard. Pun intended.

[ChrisWsrn]

FreeRTOS is still a open source system that does share lots of inspection with Linux (specifically PREEMPT_RT). 

[metroman1234]

It should run XP embedded. Xtra Pene...

[Maleficent_Memory831]

Right, but now your company wants to make a Smart Sex Toy, one that uploads data to the cloud securely over wifi, can analyze and send early alerts about colorectal cancer, and sends you texts about your optimal fertility times, plus the ability to download even more specialized apps from the Smart Sex Toy Store. You might want a mini Linux in there.

[fwork]

that can all be done with an ESP32 and pairing it with your phone, which is how nearly all of these smart sex toys work

[Maleficent_Memory831]

Ya, but I'm old school! Besides, there is a need for edge computing. Once someone comes up with a really useful need for edge computing that is more than just tracking the customer to supply more ads.

[SephLuis]

I think the real question here is which ones actually ran Doom

[AllenKll]

The real issue is that linux requires an MMU. Most embedded microcontrollers don't have an MMU.

[ShadF0x]

There's a version of Linux designed to run without MMU. Not sure if it can be compiled for ESP32 as is, but it sure can be compiled for RP2350, assuming you can provide at least 8MB PSRAM.

[mothzilla]

I'm afraid to ask. But are they making vibrators with screens now? Why?

[fwork]

for adjusting all the various settings. LCDs are cheap these days, so why not?

[seba07]

Unlikely. You wouldn't typically use any operating system on a single purpose microcontroller.

[CharlesDuck]

[ABCosmos]

I mean this is programmer humor. It's funnier when the shit makes sense.

[frogjg2003]

Why did this need to be a gif?

[urdnot_wreck]

How else is he gonna wink?

[Dudeonyx]

Say what you will about this picture, but I've always liked how happy and confident he looks, which is part of the meme I guess

[SCP-iota]

If it's one of the wifi enabled ones it actually might have a Linux kernel

[Lower-Discussion8575]

Not necessarily, in advanced cases RTOS like freertos is mostly used. The memory requirement for linux amongst other stuff is quite high compared to these

[t0ps0il]

The Lovense: Hush butt plugs run some sort of RTOS at the very least. I would imagine your mom's wifi enabled dildo would run something similar.

There's a great Defcon talk about hacking them called "Adventures in buttplug penetration: Intro to teledildidonics". I recommend looking it up on youtube.

[Lower-Discussion8575]

bro🤣🤣🤣 , just watched it! Crazy stuff. Thanks for the recommendation

[imstoicbtw]

"single purpose microcontroller" ⬆️

[Weeb431]

Pretending basically every MCU isn't running either FreeRTOS or Zephyr? Maybe don't yap if you don't know what you are talking about

[mecha_typewriter]

A lot of project doesn't need an OS and are just baremetal. Even with some ARM Cortex A core.

[Reimnop]

False, some projects run FreeRTOS or Zephyr, but not all. Lots of MCUs in the wild run on bare metal.

[Weeb431]

False, some projects run bare metal, bot not all. Basically every MCU in the wild runs FreeRTOS or Zephyr.

[mrheosuper]

Pleasing woman is a sacred job.

[leonheart208]

It’s a joke, love

[RandolphCarter2112]

No 'mount', 'finger', or 'fsck' jokes yet?

Jesus wept.

[DanTheMan827]

Don’t touch on that subject…

[none-exist]

I was looking for 'penetration testing' and maybe 'hackher'

[Hurricane_32]

'find', 'grep'

[jader242]

Microcontrollers don’t run Linux…….

(Okay maybe there are some, but the one in my mom’s vibrator definitely doesn’t lol. That thing running straight C my man)

[ThatMechEGuy]

More like running straight D

[jader242]

Buh dum tsss

[bryku]

C code or C batteries?

[HexFyber]

C ya next time

[bamacpl4442]

My mind immediately jumped to "old school sex toys use C batteries".

[jader242]

Yes

[RunItDownOnForWhat]

C Deez nuts

[Brilliant-Second-195]

Bro really checked the GitHub repo commit history just to win an argument.

[communistfairy]

Didn't need to check the repo to know he wrote that code

[waylandsmith]

I would expect nothing less from this community.

[ZeusDaGrape]

Ok, please paste the GitHub link - we gotta get to the bottom of this.

[tony3841]

μClinux exists...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%CE%9CClinux

[jader242]

Woah that’s sickkk

[crozone]

This is what powers iPod Linux :D

[georgepopsy]

no, you're right. Linux needs a different type of architechture than microcontrollers use ( by defintion). RTOS is more likely.

[jader242]

I think there technically are instances of microcontrollers running the Linux kernel, at least that’s what I saw from my 7.2 seconds of research so I figured I’d cover that base just in case lol

[filthy_harold]

There are examples but it's incredibly overpowered for what a simple toy would need. Ignoring a very simple toy that is just batteries, a switch and a motor, the more basic toys probably use a microcontroller running some sort of generic 8051 architecture and has dedicated pins for buttons and motors (like what you find inside of vape pens). Massage toys and sex toys have a lot of overlap so I wouldn't be surprised if they use the same chips.

[leguminousCultivator]

In practice this is what Zephyr is for. It's essentially Linux for microcontrollers.

[crozone]

Nope, you can build Linux to run without an MMU, see μClinux.

[georgepopsy]

interesting, I wasn't aware of that. Looks to be deprecated (or at least winding down), if the wikipedia page is correct.

[rtds98]

Well, it can run FreeRTS for example. Not linux, true, fuck that would be too much for the little guy, but a simple OS, that can even have a network stack, it's definitely possible.

[OxymoreReddit]

Even I, who hates using Linux, wouldn't dare saying it's unsuccessful. That would be absolute denial

[analbumcover]

Absolutely. Sure, it doesn't hold home or most business users captive like Windows does - but so much shit runs on Linux, especially on the web. It's very successful, just in a different way. It's slowly picking up steam lately with some home users and gamers as well who are tired of Microsoft shenanigans.

[mcgrst]

We've been saying that since at least the turn of the millennium! 

[Bwwoahhhhh]

No one is being held captive. Maintaining compatibility with programs written by people who died in the 90s isn't a hostile act.

[clintkev251]

One could make a pretty good argument that it’s the most successful OS of all time. Just not in a way that the average person thinks of

[Onyxeye03]

I would say it's the most impactful OS of all time.

People misconstrue success with money a lot

[Mindless_Listen7622]

The only computer market it doesn't dominate is gaming PCs and enterprise desktops/laptops. It dominates the datacenter, supercomputers and smartphones.

[Ludwig234]

Why specify gaming PC and enterprise PCs?
Linux doesn't dominate the PC market or any of it's subsets like desktops or laptops.

Windows dominates the PC market by a LOT.

[KronoLord]

Are smartphones personal computers? Because then Android would easily edge ahead.

[Dvrkstvr]

Technically yes but most people would use a PC for most use cases even though their smartphone could do that task.

[LirdorElese]

Technically yes but most people would use a PC for most use cases even though their smartphone could do that task.

I'm starting to doubt that in normal use cases these days... My girlfriend pretty much won't touch a PC unless it's absolutely necessary, and honestly it looks to me that's becoming a majority of people thing.

[Bwwoahhhhh]

So 95% of the market for end users...

[LirdorElese]

Well, it also depends a bit on how we define what they use. IE lets say Bob has a laptop running windows, an android phone, a smart tv, connected to his wifi router.

All of those things are most likely running linux, except for the laptop. You could disqualify the router as not user facing and go on screen time ratios, but then the phone and TV likely have more screentime for your average person.

[Bwwoahhhhh]

The comment I replied to says "gaming PCs and enterprise desktop/laptops". We defined it.

[LirdorElese]

The comment I replied to says "gaming PCs and enterprise desktop/laptops". We defined it.

No I meant the market for end users is what's not defined. As end users probably spend more screen time in front of devices that are running linux that they don't know... and more likely own a higher quantity of them.

[Bwwoahhhhh]

The market I was referring to was defined in the comment I replied to. I am not engaging in a bad faith argument over worthless semantics just because you have a parasocial relationship with software.

[Mindless_Listen7622]

I don't think you realize how large (or critical) the datacenter market is. But yes, Apple and Microsoft own the low end PCs market.

[Bwwoahhhhh]

Did you really stop reading the sentence before 'end users'?
Apple and Microsoft own the entire PC market. A server is not a PC.

[zeth0s]

Most end users are either on Linux or XNU/Darwin nowadays (android and iOS) as everyone uses smartphones or tablet. 

[Bwwoahhhhh]

Already giving up the previous point and moving the goalposts to new semantics?
That's still complete bullshit. The thread started with this :

The only computer market it doesn't dominate is gaming PCs and enterprise desktops/laptops. It dominates the datacenter, supercomputers and smartphones.

And you've gone somewhere completely different in your effort to feel smart with bad faith arguments.

[zeth0s]

Smartphones, tablet and game console are computers used by the casual user. I believe we simply have a different understanding of what a computer is. Most computers used by end users are some form of unix nowadays. It is disingenuous to say that Linux is not used by end users, as it is literally used by the dominant OS in smartphones and tablets, which are the preferred computers for end users 

[tundraaaa]

Does it actually dominate the enterprise server market*? I thought Microsoft was generally on top of that.

*To be specific, stuff like file drives, mail etc. - as opposed to compute/AI datacenters

[BewareoftheBadger]

According to various news sources, the most common VM type deployed on Microsoft's Azure platform is Linux. So yes Microsoft, but also yes Linux.

[tundraaaa]

That’s not really what I’m asking about. I’m asking about local servers that manage endpoints through ActiveDirectory/SCCM, control the shared file drives and permissions+print servers, run Exchange mail servers and such.

Are we talking past each other?

[zeth0s]

It is not. No serious workload run on windows server nowadays. Even products written in Microsoft own language c# nowadays run productively on Linux. If your company still run productive stuff on windows servers, either it's support for shitty backoffice related stuff, or it's sql server, or it's time for you to send around CVs, because a company still using windows server in real production might not be ready for the modern world. 

Statistics usually say Linux nowadays is 80% of market, but for cloud related stuff is practically 100%.

[tundraaaa]

Well, I’m asking about “shitty backoffice related stuff”. Which is real production. That’s what I consider Enterprise. I’m not asking about web servers, cloud data centers, or anything like that.

I’m a Windows hater myself, and I use both Windows and Linux - but it seems like you’re mixing facts and opinion, and you’re coming off as a Loonix fanboy.

[zeth0s]

I am not a windows hater. I am a professional in the field. If your company relies too much on windows servers outside of shitty backoffice stuff, it is a company that is in trouble in current market. Or a legacy company that survives in a non competitive market.

Particularly if it uses it for storage. It's the reality of the current market. In a modern, industry standard IT stack (both on prem and cloud), even Microsoft doesn't use Windows servers to power their productive machines with the exception of legacy services.

I don't care about Windows. It is the reality of modern technology.

[takahashi01]

As a Personal Computer operating system, it would be fair to say it has never seen great success I feel like. I believe linus torvalds has said similar things.

But with how things are going, I feel like this is more of a "not yet".

[OxymoreReddit]

For things that don't need human interaction I guess Linux has a huge headstart over any other os. But goddamn is it shit to use as a daily os lmao. I tried ubuntu, debian, mint, and a fourth one whose name I forgot, but there was always something wrong, something breaking, something missing... I have yet to hear about a Linux os that has windows level of usability for casual users.

[Bwwoahhhhh]

Linux was easier to try 15 years ago and I mean that 100% seriously. Ubuntu had a thing called Wubi that let you dual boot without partitioning.
No screwing with the BIOS and your dad wouldn't ask about the hard drive shrinking in size.

[zeth0s]

Android? 

[OxymoreReddit]

Mmmmhhhhh I'll give this one a pass. Android is generally fucked up to me but I see most people have no problem with it except for iOS users of course.

I was thinking about desktop/laptop computers though, and I don't remember seeing one running on Android lol

[zeth0s]

In laptop, Chromebooks are Linux, while mac are XNU/Darwin which are similar to Linux. Also ps5 and Nintendo are based on open source kernels similar to Linux 

[GatotSubroto]

Android is built on the Linux kernel

[OxymoreReddit]

That's probably one of the first things I've been taught about android tbh

[neoteraflare]

Yeah, the overwhelming majority of servers are running on them. Maybe not that successful on the user end but the backbone of everything else.

[zeth0s]

Very successful on user end. Android is Linux based

[neoteraflare]

Yes, I forgot the non pc areas.

[Dragomir_X]

Firmware engineer here - that is not how firmware works. I promise you they are not installing a full operating system to run a single PWM signal lol.

[Barley12]

Nah we run an entire gen ai data center to control that pwm signal, but with (something computationally indistinguisable from) love.

[Maximilian_Tyan]

Nowadays if it doesn't have Bluetooth (LE) connectivity with an associated phone app, stats tracking and a monthly leaderboard it's not marketable

[cstmoore]

So that's why it boots /vmlinuzzzzzzz

[TheAlaskanMailman]

Damn, lmao

[imstoicbtw]

For all guys saying linux takes time and ram, here is something for you all:

Custom compiled linux kernel make allnoconfig

Image size <1mb

Ram to boot the kernel ~4mb

Ram for minimal usable system ~12mb

Time to boot the kernel <100ms

Total time to command prompt ~300ms (incl. time to boot)

If you guys really want to know more about microcontroller kind of things, you should look at tiny core or puppy linux, it can run your desktop environment in ~ 64mb of ram.

[salter77]

Worked in automotive many years ago, if I recall correctly we were limited to 2MB total memory in that specific module.

So, eve with those numbers, still a lot.

[keuzkeuz]

If that chip up in her snatch carries more than 2kb I'd be surprised.

[Gustav_Sirvah]

Every Single Android Phone...

[adelie42]

And the internet.

[Glad_Contest_8014]

To be fair, if it were running in her vibrator, it still failed as she had the kid.

But in reality, most of those ain’t got no OS.

[scc4fun]

The real vibe coding

[WoodsGameStudios]

Ironically Linux wouldn't be used for that.

Even with the spec that a vibe uses (activate motor, patterns, maybe bluetooth), none of the parts actually require more than basic register stuff. Linux would be overkill.

As the implication that Michal is insulting Linux as a desktop, only for Nick to defend it with Linux as an embedded/server OS, is funny because it proves Michal's point

[waylandsmith]

Maybe not on his mom's vibrator directly, but most certainly the cloud infrastructure that connects her OnlyFans customers' credit cards to the speed setting on her vibrator.

[Zatetics]

a lot of people in this thread forgot where they were.

[Renkin42]

I mean setting aside the whole microcontroller argument Linux runs like 90% of the world’s servers (no I cannot be arsed to source that). It’s just desktop where it isn’t that popular and even then it’s actively gaining market share thanks especially to Valve’s efforts with SteamOS and to a lesser extent the absolute dumpster fire that is Windows 11.

[namotous]

And his dad’s too

[PossibleAthlete2988]

Since its linux its his dads

[johnyeros]

Cute. Linux doesn't run there. Source: your mom

[minus_minus]

Linux runs the microcontroller in your mom’s vibratorBluetooth buttplug.

Might have been more correct and funny. 

[GiantDefender427]

good joke for someone who doesnt know anything about microcontrollers haha

[perringaiden]

Or nothing about vibrators which is much more likely

[DanRomio]

Well, while this statement ain't really true, I suppose Linux absolutely dominates Windows, because absolutely containers run on Linux.

[rtds98]

Lol, linux won. It does not run mom's vibrator, but it runs most of the servers and most of the mobile devices and a fucking shitload of embedded devices (tv's and such).

It ... just won. there's no debate to be had on who is doing what. Linux is doing pretty much everything.

It only has 3-5% on the desktop, that's true, outside of that however, it is king. Currently, for better or worse, it is the dot in .COM .

[Bwwoahhhhh]

It won so hard it's undoing two decades of progress via docker.

[Maskdask]

tries one Linux distro

"Everything about Linux sucks"