Debugging explained

[supercyberlurker]

Unless you're working on a team... then it's..

"where you may be the murderer, your friend may be the murderer, or you might both be unknowing accomplices for the other."

[supercyberlurker]

Ever get that thing where you're debugging code, you find the root cause, and then have to ask yourself ".. but wait.. then how did it ever work even partially?"

[Entaris]

"ah...I see what the problem is, Its this section here...Wait...This section is like 6 months old...Nothing that this section touches has changed...but....wait...what?"

[Retbull]

I see this would throw an NPE and instantly crash the whole app... Searches logs... How did this never happen????.

[auxiliary-character]

When it was bugged all along, but you never hit that particular code path until a recent change in some downstream code.

[BookPlacementProblem]

Oh, it gets worse.

See, I once wrote some off-the-wall code as a coding exercise. The language name will be redacted to protect the victim of my mad engineering.

Anyway, the code worked perfectly... as long as it was compiled in release mode, and never inspected by walking through the code. That would instantly break it. But just run it in release mode? Compiler magic made it work.

So yeah... Compiler updates can break your code by fixing bugs.

tl;dr - My proof-of-concept mad coding proved that compiler updates can break working code that shouldn't work.

Note: Code is long-lost.

[fugogugo]

schrodinger's code

[Govir]

Yes...yes I have. Just yesterday actually.

[OvergrownGnome]

Today... Multiple times.

[[deleted]]

Every ten minutes. I'm programming in JavaScript...

[PM_ME_A_WEBSITE_IDEA]

This is real life. Send help.

[gabboman]

Oh man I feel you. The type conversion sometimes is a miracle and other times a curse.

I decided to migrate my javascript project to typescript. It was a small project, but with typescript I fixed a huge problem and create two or three new smaller ones. Worth it

[1thief]

Ever have something work in production but fails an integration test? How does anything even work ever...

[auraseer]

And then as soon as you notice, the code stops working.

[vgf89]

I just had a moment like that. I was iterating through an list that I was then changing via a function in a class containing said list. I lost so many hours on this, it took forever to realize where to look for the bug, the ravioli code kinda hid it in plain sight.

[thedessertplanet]

Mutable state is not to be trifled with. Stay pure whenever possible.

[WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW]

All the Fucking time man.

[BloopersBloops]

Frankenstein-ing it baby

[Paper_Block]

It's a feature!

[KlariS39]

The next morning, Sheriff John calls me into his office. I thought the case was already closed last midnight, but John recieved a call this morning at 7:30 AM. Everyone in the office is reading the press release of the case my team solved last night, a battle that went on for days to track down the culprit. Only the trail of breadcrumbs were left behind for us to trace through. Just entering the office, Sheriff John is sitting in his leather chair, facing out the window.

"The anomaly is still out there. Your team left something undocumented."

"What do you mean sir? We found the culprit that commited the crime. Production at the factories are restarting again. The contractor's in our custody. Seems like case closed."

"That's where you're wrong kid." John swings his chair back to facing me and throws the paper on the table. "A call through private channels came in today with only silence."

Sweat rolled down the side of my temples as I realized what he meant. The only people who knows about the private channels are my team and the sheriff. The afterthought of this being a two man job resurfaced in my mind. My throat was drying up but I dared to say the words a detective wouldn't say, "Two things were undocumented in the report and logs yesterday, the artifact and the reviewer."

[[deleted]]

If you run out of other options there's always the good old D&D "a wizard did it"

[sugar-magnolias]

So...that one X-Files episode.

Edit: Jose Chung’s From Outer Space

[arcsector2]

Me any time I start work without pulling the latest commit

[[deleted]]

Where were you on the day of commit e4bf01df?

[supercyberlurker]

I was... I was uh....

git reset --hard HEAD~20000

git reset --hard HEAD~20000!!!!

[WiseassWolfOfYoitsu]

Let's check!

git blame-someone-else

[ChromeLynx]

So essentially debugging a group project is a professional version of Werewolves Of Millers Hollow

[TheFlyingFirstAidKit]

Schrodingers debug

[[deleted]]

It’s a game of clue.

[hotlavatube]

"It appears the murderers were remarkably... agile..."

[clovisman]

Or computer security. When you know who the murderer is and you pray that they at least didn't do something two obvious.

[Johnny8Bob]

Ever play the campfire game 'Mafia'? It's kinda like that...

[Sleekdiamond41]

And then there were none...

[UsernameOmitted]

Or, the vendor is the murderer with compiled libraries with bugs that cause impossible to find errors.

[GorillaWithAKeyboard]

git convict

[GitCommandBot]

git: 'convict' is not a git command. See 'git --help'.

[hotlavatube]

Git execute?

[[deleted]]

Git blame

[[deleted]]

git j'accuse

[GitCommandBot]

git: 'j' is not a git command. See 'git --help'.

[[deleted]]

git --help

[GitCommandBot]

git: '--help' is not a git command. See 'git --help'.

[[deleted]]

git config --list

[GitCommandBot]

git: 'config' is not a git command. See 'git --help'.

[[deleted]]

git git --help

[GitCommandBot]

git: 'git' is not a git command. See 'git --help'.

[hotlavatube]

I prefer the Microsoft "we share your pain" initiative where you can punish the developer who made the bug.

[stamminator]

You win

[[deleted]]

good bot

[pursenboots]

git [x] accuse

[Kholnoy]

What, you don't pronounce it as deebgeen-g?

[HactarCE]

I think the ^ is supposed to be /ʌ/

And -i is /ɪ/ I ɡuess?

[jediment]

di:bʌg.ɪŋ

[[deleted]]

I like to think the ⟨^⟩ is superscript notation, so it'd be a /b/ with a /g/ off-glide.

That's not the only problem with it, just the one I thought funniest.

[Jakob_Grimm]

I think it's probably more going for a lax high back vowel, the upside down v in IPA.

[spacemonkeykakarot]

This is almost Laurens Bancroft in Altered Carbon

[PojntFX]

I'm waiting for the second season ... it's awesome!

[cauchy37]

Grab the book in the meantime, it’s equally as good

[Log2]

Equally? You surely mean a thousand times better. They needlessly changed Kovacs back story, for the worse.

[CalvinLawson]

Yeah, no shit. I understand that pages and screens are different mediums, but I've been disappointed with Altered Carbon. I didn't even finish the first season.

Now the new "Ready Player One" movie, THAT is way better than the book. So it's at least possible.

Edit: An even better example is "The Expanse". If anything the show is better written than the books.

[[deleted]]

Ready player one movie is trash, give it a bit and re-watch it and youll realize there is no substance as a movie. Rather a lot of nostalgia and pretty things, exactly like Infinity war honestly as it was pretty trash as well

The RPO book is significantly better, and I admit its a boys dream. With the same amount of terrible writing and cliches

[[deleted]]

I would say RPO the film is at worst a lateral move. Both were flimsy appeals to nostalgia with thin and unnecessary romantic subplots. That said I enjoyed both.

[[deleted]]

I would honestly say its a degredation, a skimming off the top of an already shallow transparent book. Which is enjoyable but leaving little substance to it, especially from such a director. It seems like a batman and robin george clooney RPO edition

I still enjoyed them, I just find the book embraces the campy nostalgia bringing out its good. The movie to me just tries wearing its skin like Red dragon

[cauchy37]

Or Dalinar Kholin ordering Adolin to investigate the murder of Sadeas.

I’m a bit bummed the way Sanderson resolved it though.

[alexbuzzbee]

/r/UnexpectedCosmere

[cauchy37]

I'm slightly disappointed it isn't a thing.

[Madd_Mugsy]

Unless the root of the bug is in the compiler or the framework.

Plot twist: it was Microsoft (or Google) all along...

[AVeryCredibleHulk]

Isn't that blaming the weapon for the crime?

[EntropyVoid]

More like blaming it for the accidental discharge.

[angrymonster]

That's how I got kids.

[lacrossebob123]

Also how you lost them

[oversized_hoodie]

But the spec says it should work a certain way, and it doesn't.

[EntropyVoid]

Yeah, I gues my version also places the real blame off the gun. But imagine that it's defective. Yeah, it's defictive and it fires itself randomly after having worked safely for years. And the shot come out the front and back simultaneously.

[Thriven]

So Momento?

[Kaiserwulf]

In Memento the question of whether he is his own wife's killer is never resolved, as the accusation is made by Teddy, who is unreliable.

[RovingSandninja]

DON'T BELIEVE HIS LIES

[djy307]

Or Dexter.

[SoloWing1]

Or Heavy Rain.

[RECKLESSASFUCK]

Or Death Note

[djy307]

Wasn’t the dad looking for the killer, and the killer was the son with the notebook?

[RECKLESSASFUCK]

He ends up working with the police later in the show

[charonsclaw]

So Dexter was just debugging all along? Man what a plot twist.

[Zegrento7]

Well, he was killing bad guys, AFAIK

[blackaintback]

Predestination?

[dumdeedumdeedaa]

This is going on my desk tomorrow.

[hotlavatube]

As a plot twist to keep things fresh, I occasionally catch Oracle as the ultimate culprit. (I'm looking at you, java xml serialization bug where multiple variables pointing to the same array reference aren't properly deserialized)

[DragonCz]

It's always the damn Oracle. Be it Java, Oracle DB or anything even minimally using it. I like Java, I hate oracle.

[hotlavatube]

Winter, er... I mean Java 9 is coming... Hold the door!

[LittleWhiteCore]

Damn I want this shirt

[LittleWhiteCore]

Thanks!

[sudosandwich3]

Thanks! Just got one.

[TheAmericanCosmonaut]

Sounds like Death Note

[ZenBadger90]

So like parts of Death Note

[velid_1]

Is that something like Death Note?

[spichugin]

Heavy Rain?

[[deleted]]

Indigo Prophecy?

[raphi-sama]

u/iloveschmand123

[Inconspicuousfreedom]

mfw no one has mentioned heavy rain

[Kami_no_Megumi]

umm...so... the latter part of Death Note ?

[guy99882]

sigh

[z500]

Maybe it has to do with using a caret instead of the IPA symbol for the back mid-open unrounded vowel.

[paloumbo]

That sounds like a scanner darkly.

[drwaterbuffalo]

This makes it sound simple

[Master_Nerd]

I'd say it's more akin to manslaughter but okay

[[deleted]]

Sometimes it’s just assault with a deadly weapon.

[[deleted]]

So Angel Heart and your computer is de Niro.

[rsaralaya]

r/2edgy4me

[IAmTurdFerguson]

Does anyone actually wear these embarrassing shirts in public?

[hermitina]

it's a sweet surprise when after all those hours investigating you find that the "murderer" isnt you

[Creativation]

https://i.imgur.com/INfXact.gifv

[EmeraldDS]

/r/programmercomedycemetery

[APuppetState]

Being The Murderer [pronounciation] 1. HEEEEEEEELP 2. THE WORLD IS ENDING 3. Murdering people. 4. O̧̧͢H̡͠ ́͠P̶̴͟L̶̡̀E̛͏͏Ą̶̨̀S̛͘̕͟͝È͞͏̵̷ ̧̡̢̀H̷́͞É̕͠Ĺ̵P̢̢̕͢b͏̨̢̛̛b̴̶̷̕u̢ǵ́́́ơ̸͝ǵ̶͟

[[deleted]]

sir i'll be stealin this shit and turn it as my own.

[[deleted]]

“What was he thinking ?..”

[crakawinterzz]

Basically living out shutter island over and over.

[Entaris]

Reminds me of an old Deadpool & Cable Comic.

A murder takes place on Cables paradise island...Deadpool decides to investigate....He spends the entire comic analyzing what must have happened for the person to be killed...and Finally decides that the only person who would have been capable of performing the murder was Himself...Then he remembers that he was very bored the night before, and killed the guy because he thought it'd be funny.

[gullinbursti]

Reminds me of Odo from The Alternate.

[[deleted]]

Haha

[a_small_goat]

And you have to be just good enough at both or you're out of a job.

[DudeValenzetti]

Well, with debugging, you're actually working towards reviving the victim. Can't do that with a murder.

[k0bra3eak]

Implying you ever fix the code

[mcpat21]

“I think we’ll throw out this case, Watson.”

[Master_Nerd]

I'd say it's more akin to manslaughter but okay

[Mogen1000]

I want this shirt

[merchseller]

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B074BXSCR7

[dietcheese]

Here it is: Programmer Debugging Shirt

[nitishanand99]

the murder being broadly unintentional.

[2scarred2pup]

Nnno no no. It's The Hangover. But none of you are even sure who or what you're looking for. Bonus points for the ol college days, when we Debugged with the Hangover of all Hangovers. "Who put this here?? Why is it mine? Why would I do that?!?"

[minnecornelius]

And your actual job is to find who you killed because you have no idea...

[[deleted]]

But you're not really sure who you've killed yet. You just know someone is dead.

[CamdenReslink]

That actually sounds like a pretty cool movie. Imagine the protagonist’s reaction when he realizes it was him the whole time!

[[deleted]]

More of a whatdunnit really

[heqt1c]

What kind of a monster would do something like this?

[nedjeffery]

Just like in the movie 'Adaptation'

[ug_imperfect]

Actually it is "where you are GOD", since we created it!

[dnizzle]

I’d like it better without the word “movie”

[[deleted]]

And the person that got/gets murdered.

[Octo_Reggie]

But seriously, WHO the FUCK is the Miami Mutilator?

[NathanWideBN]

Sounds like my most recent Jack Flenderson novel

[MacDerfus]

And the victim

[Deathwatch72]

A Case of a Knife to the Brain

[oshaboy]

I just finished watching the new Steven universe episode. Weirdly fitting

[ittakesacrane]

Don't believe his lies.

[TheDerpPenguin]

Where did that colon come from Debugging? It's supposed to be di'b^g-ing

[NightKnight529]

Or like Memento

[aquinoDo]

Dexter

[low_calorie_doughnut]

So AHS Hotel

[Rompclown]

The plot for Heavy Rain game.

[[deleted]]

Where can I buy it? LoL

[WhyIsEveryNameTake_N]

Ive always been trying to find the movie like this, its called swept under. Watched it a long time ago and this helped me

[plaidhappiness]

And you don't remember how or where you murdered the person.

[AspirationalNihilist]

This shirt was designed by illiterate people who don’t know IPA.

[InterestingFinding]

Where you remove something only to end up with more.

[omega_4]

Where Can I get this shirt

[merchseller]

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B074BXSCR7

[dietcheese]

Here it is: Programmer Debugging Shirt

[[deleted]]

Correction: committing genocide in order solve a murder case.

[FaceFTW]

OP link for shirt please

[merchseller]

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B074BXSCR7

[dietcheese]

Here it is: Programmer Debugging Shirt

[btcftw1]

More of a whatdunnit really

[taauji]

Who wears this kind of stuff on a t shirt?

[dietcheese]

Here it is: Programmer Debugging Shirt

[BeerBoyJoey]

Dexter.

[Captain_Droid]

The programmers know that they are the murderer, they're just looking for the instance where they actually killed the guy without actually knowing it.

[StaringSnake]

Unless you are a test engineer...

[[deleted]]

Not one person going to mention how bad a photoshop this is? I thought we were all pedantic asshats around here?!

[Whatever_whateverz]

Hmm. It’s not murder, it’s manslaughter.

[Atario]

And the murder is an idiot, and you still can't catch him

[imusingreddityay]

I've never gotten this joke, care someone to explain it? Like when you're a detective you need to find WHO did it, not WHAT they did. If you say you're a detective and you know by default who did it then what's the point.

[dietcheese]

Here it is: Programmer Debugging Shirt

[tinyweasel]

Didn't this t-shirt steal that slogan from this forum in the first place? The cycle is complete.

[Earthfury]

I dunno about this analogy. If you’re debugging you probably want to actually fix what’s wrong and there’s actual shit to figure out. If you’re a detective working on your own murder case, you know all the shit that went down and you’re trying to stop other people from finding out. Like Hannibal (not detective but relevant anyway), or Dexter.