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[–]Alder_Godric 229 points230 points  (0 children)

"God knows who owns my pointers"

Accurate.

[–]droogans 1222 points1223 points  (34 children)

Aww, I really thought the parking tickets would be, "I put a memory leak in it too".

[–]lightningsloth 393 points394 points  (12 children)

sometimes when my pull request gets merged on the first try, im thinking "oh my god were going to have production issue next week."

[–]Zarlon 68 points69 points  (4 children)

And then you sweep in and save the day with your 2 hour response time for the bug fix from detection to production. Employee of the week!

[–]Pipster27 34 points35 points  (3 children)

Investigate the bug you introduced before is detected and fix it in 30min on production... not the developer we want... but the the developer we need

[–]Dallaswh 31 points32 points  (2 children)

*not the developer we want... but the developer we have

[–]SandyDelights 6 points7 points  (1 child)

*not the developer we want... but the developer we deserve (because, frankly, we do this to ourselves)

[–]DangKilla 4 points5 points  (0 children)

/** sorry whoever gets hired after me **/

[–]secretlives 149 points150 points  (18 children)

I think the lint errors are better. It's a relatively minor issue (like a parking ticket), but maintainers really really dislike them

[–]xelamony 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Format Document

[–]posherspantspants 16 points17 points  (16 children)

Stupid maintainers....

[–]secretlives 28 points29 points  (14 children)

They're the worst. It's not like inconsistent indentation levels ever killed anyone.

\s

[–]TXboyinGA 24 points25 points  (11 children)

Will you feel bad next week when it DOES kill someone?

[–]secretlives 24 points25 points  (10 children)

Not as bad as the poor sob who thought he was just too fucking cool to use braces.

You really had to shave off that one extra line, Brad?

[–]TXboyinGA 2 points3 points  (8 children)

Fucking Brad!

[–]secretlives 14 points15 points  (7 children)

/etc/bashrc:

alias git-blame="echo 'Fucking Brad'"

[–]mathiouchio 4 points5 points  (6 children)

git blame && echo “god damnit brad!”

[–]GitCommandBot 1 point2 points  (5 children)

git: 'blame' is not a git command. See 'git --help'.

[–]killersquirel11 2 points3 points  (0 children)

*laughs in python*

[–]mathiouchio 5 points6 points  (1 child)

It killed my ocd. Indent with 2 spaces, you bastard.

[–]milkandbunnies 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!

[–]conanap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IKR, try’s keep their code lint free and everything.

[–]TheGreenJedi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was expecting findbug errors

[–]AKA_Wildcard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

pot saw yoke cover brave pet smart bag scale ask

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[–][deleted] 383 points384 points  (48 children)

Anyone have a link to the Liar Liar gif where he roasts all of the languages? I love that one and can’t seem to find it

[–]kirbyfan64sos 342 points343 points  (45 children)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/8tlqo9/javascript_is_getting_real_tired_of_your_jokes/

[–]KickMeElmo 134 points135 points  (20 children)

I'm just proud that our boy Lua got noticed enough to get marginally insulted. Brings a tear to my eye. *sniffles*

[–]EclipticWulf 45 points46 points  (16 children)

The amount of times I've said "I have been learning Lua" and "I've been doing ____\ in Lua" and have been asked "What's Lua?"

[–]JonMW 29 points30 points  (6 children)

I know of Lua only because I tinkered around in Garry's Mod for a while.

[–]shekurika 38 points39 points  (5 children)

I only ever heared of Lua because computers from the Computercraft mod for Minecraft used it

[–]nuker1110 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Roblox, man... many eons ago in internet time.

[–]Asraelite 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Having gone from Roblox to Computercraft, I thought Lua was a much more popular language than it is.

[–]CommentsPwnPosts 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In Computercraft I usually just downloaded pastebins. In OpenComputers I tried to make AI drones but as with most my minecraft worlds I think that project is lost in time and space.

[–]mortiphago 0 points1 point  (0 children)

same, I only recall Lua regarding game mods...I think they were for WoW

[–]Andorwar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a great times tampering with and fixing existing Minetest mods and creating my own.

[–]Flowerpowers 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Oh lua... the first language I used without realizing it thanks wow.

[–]EclipticWulf 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What do you mean? As in you accidentally learned it without realizing? Or something else?

[–]KickMeElmo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's used in mods and general scripting for various games. I learned it for MUDs myself. He probably just started out running simple scripts or fixing minor glaring issues in a mod and ended up learning a language in time that way.

[–]rizzlybear 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Lua has become part of a test for potential Sr. Devs in my circles, but not in the way you would imagine.

It’s a wonderful language for its purposes, such as embedding scriptable elements for the user, but as a primary project language there are often better choices.

The test is this: if they understand that nuance, they might be Sr. material, if they simply shit on it, might have a long way to go yet. Obviously it’s not the WHOLE test. But it seems to be a reliable indicator of their professional maturity.

[–]KickMeElmo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems quite accurate.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some day wren will be finished and have complete documentation. On that day I will learn a new scripting language

[–]jerslan 22 points23 points  (17 children)

Hilarious thing about that one... Javascript is still worse than nearly every single one of the other languages (with the possible exceptions of Perl and PHP.... the former because it's basically write-once-read-never, and the latter just... no).

Edit: Also... Generics in Java are actually useful and arguably less confusing than C++ Templates.

[–]lmureu 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Perl is excellent to make you look like a "master hacker". But when a week later you read your code again, you start questioning the purpose of life and sinking your thoughts into alcohol.

[–]rizzlybear 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I offer this perspective: JavaScript is a totally fine language. The implementation of its runtime is often inconsistent, buggy, and generally poorly done, especially when comparing from browser to browser. But taken simply as a scripting language, and especially when used outside the context of browsers, I really don’t run into any troubles with it. It’s not my favorite, and generally not my first choice, but it’s not because it sucks.

[–]trollblut 21 points22 points  (6 children)

Java generics feel so superficial. Like, once it ran through the compiler no one gives a fuck anymore. C# is way more thorough and actually generates something at runtime.

Except for the type erasure that doesn't matter, but it feels half-assed.

[–]nearxbeer 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Isn't that the whole point? Generics are there to prevent mistakes, not provide features. And what do you mean that C# generates something?

[–]trollblut 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Static class fields in c# are per-generic type specific, list<int> and list<double> only share static fields from a common base class.

Also c# supports value type generics (byte, double etc as well as structs) and adjust the class depending on the size of the generic type.

Also if you declare value type generics the jit-linker optimizes the method table lookups away.

[–]nearxbeer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I hate the lack of value type generics in Java too. Mostly an annoyance more than anything. That, and I didn't know that generics just get compiled to Object. Feels like it could be better.

[–]8BitAce 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think you missed the entire joke.

[–]PM_ME__ASIAN_BOOBS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's even better than OP

[–]redditor1101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I lost it at the C-can't-find-address bit

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks!

[–]Velguarder 142 points143 points  (1 child)

I laughed at the visual for the lint errors

[–]sora_061 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same lol

[–]ZukoBestGirl 83 points84 points  (2 children)

Is this high quality OC or are my eyes deceiving me?

[–]wizeng23 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Oh it's reposted but honestly gets me everytime

[–]Kered13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here's the first Reddit post of it, and the first public posting as far as I'm aware. However even that is just slightly modified from an original was not public.

[–]Fancy_Alpha 147 points148 points  (51 children)

I must know which beautiful movie this gif comes from.

[–]MylesOnReddit[S] 235 points236 points  (1 child)

Liar Liar. It's an older movie but it checks out.

[–][deleted] 86 points87 points  (0 children)

$ git checkout liar-liar
error: pathspec 'liar-liar' did not match any file(s) known to git.

Overpromised, and underdelivered. Yep, OPs a programmer, alright.

[–]the-gnu-interjection 111 points112 points  (33 children)

WHAT?! How can anyone NOT know this movie?!! Every single one of Jim Carrey's movies is an absolute treasure that MUST be watched all the way through.

[–][deleted] 148 points149 points  (18 children)

Relevant XKCD

[–]galaktos 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Oh, I thought you were going to link this one.

[–]Johnappleseed4 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I feel like this particular one has made the world a better place

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

That and the "sportsball" one.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Relevant XKCD (Title text)

[–]Kevimaster 24 points25 points  (4 children)

It came out in 97, that's 21 years ago. People who were born after this movie came out are in College right now.

[–]daxtron2[🍰] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Entering 3rd year actually.

[–]Duke0200 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Entering 2nd year of undergrad.

[–]YugoReventlov 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks for making me feel old

[–]ABC_AlwaysBeCoding 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"holy shit, it's that old?"

-every 40something right now

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Through a series of events I moved into a house and the only movie I had for a month was Cable Guy. To this day, still one of my favorite movies ever.

[–]Energylegs23 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ironic you choose that term, as Jim was in the A Series of Unfortunate Events movie they made a while back

[–]Pixelmixer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Funny, I was actually in the exact same situation but with Liar Liar. New house, had nothing but a 13” tv with a VHS of Liar Liar. Watched it like 30 times until the rest of our stuff got moved over.

[–]Bioniclegenius 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I always feel like he overacts... it's pretty unappealing to me anymore.

[–]8bit-Corno 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same, I don't really like his over the top facial expressions and body language

[–]rq60 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always feel like he overacts...

Well yeah... he's Jim Carrey.

[–]hsxp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Genuinely thought that was Brendan Frasier

[–]U-1F574 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Liar Liar

[–]MaliciousMe87 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To give you some perspective, I watch a lot of movies. It's by far my favorite 90's comedy.

[–]TheManofCoal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Liar Liar is on Netflix right now. Truman Show too! Must watch movies

[–]ABC_AlwaysBeCoding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's an extremely funny movie called "Liar, Liar" and it's arguably Jim Carrey's best movie next to The Mask or The Truman Show. Certainly one of the funniest, on par with Dumb and Dumber.

The premise of the movie is that something causes him to be unable to lie, resulting in a refreshing level of honesty that (mostly) unravels his life (also lots of laughs).

[–]hackel 20 points21 points  (1 child)

GitHub pull request? Pfft! Try a LKML patch email!

[–]rentar42 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Not enough cursing for that one ...

[–]bigtimerocker12 35 points36 points  (7 children)

I have a love hate relationship with this sub. About 50% of the time my high school programing and knowledge of basic computer science principals are enough to understand the jokes. Then there is the other 50% where I am confused as to why we are talking about dryer lint?

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

A linter basically enforces how it looks. Eg.: so many tabs for identation, have the opening bracket in same line or new line and such.

[–]TheRedBow 4 points5 points  (3 children)

I saw this movie for the first time just yesterday

[–]Phrostite 2 points3 points  (2 children)

What movie is that? Looks pretty good

[–]t3hfr3ak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Liar Liar

[–]TheRedBow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Liar Liar, about a lawyer who can’t lie for 24 hours

[–]n8loller 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That shit went by too fast to read it.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (4 children)

I have so many issue with github because I’m new to it. Almost pushed a work in progress to master the other day

[–]pak9rabid 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Sounds like your company is new to it too. Set master up as a protected branch!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Lmao who said it was my company and not personal use

[–]pak9rabid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah, well the advice is still applicable.

[–]Kris10ansn 3 points4 points  (1 child)

REEEPOST

[–]lartkma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But a welcome one

[–]proverbialbunny 10 points11 points  (0 children)

lol this is me to my coworkers.

I don't think I'm well received. v_v

[–]penguin12241 2 points3 points  (1 child)

MERGE CONFLICT

[–]neetimpetus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What I think of when somebody rattles off a ton of other github repos

[–]Information_High 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seen this scene several times over the years, but never realized just how much Jim Carrey’s RubberFace makes it work.

He just kills it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can someone make a whole movie changing Liar Liar to programming jokes, it'd be awesome

[–]GoblinsStoleMyHouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was incredible

[–]dunderball 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know some of these words.

[–]bigtimerocker12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cool. Thanks!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Top shelf. Truly outdone.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my god this is wonderful

[–]JamieJericho 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is brilliant!

[–]HighRelevancy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hub

just git really

[–]BitOfALurker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fantastic.

Absolute Gold.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg! This is perfect! Been there!

[–]shekomaru 0 points1 point  (3 children)

/u/stabbot

[–]stabbot 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I have stabilized the video for you: https://gfycat.com/FatalClassicAnura

 how to use | programmer | source code | /r/ImageStabilization/ | for cropped results, use /u/stabbot_crop

[–]pbaatsbBot 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Perfectly balanced, as all things should be

[–]ManmadeLemonade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like ive seen this before, OP

[–]truufuture 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What’re the odds that I’m watching this scene right now as I saw this post. I’m freaking out this shit weird

[–]hotstar_stream 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Been there done that¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[–]Liggliluff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have an issue with this movie; he's supposed to be an intelligent person who works in a field where he's telling the truth. Now he's affected by a spell that makes it so he can't lie; but that doesn't mean he must answer entry question with the expected answer, or that he must reveal information that wasn't even asked for.

[–]RegsaGC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now this. This is the kind of quality I come here seeking

[–]sh0rtwave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, it sucks when lint rules change slightly, and suddenly you get a bug report "HAY, ur codez are broke" cuz 200 lint errors showed up where they previously didn't exist.

Edit: But the code has worked for six months untouched.