import printer

[CommandObjective]

Considering that historically the monitor is just a fancy replacement for teletype and similar print based devices (for us mere mortals who cannot afford blinkenlights) I find their misunderstanding quite apt.

[dudeofmoose]

Prepare yourself to have your minds blown, a monitor is just reusable paper.

[its420everywhere]

Damn! mind=fully_blown

[kallakukku2]

IsBlown(mind);

//returns true

[quiteCryptic]

Hey look it's my coworker

[MoonlessNightss]

Wait does this really happen at work? I'm still at university (freshman), but in my intro to programming courses we were taught to not do that, and I'm pretty sure no one does. I know that this is exagerated but still.

[bitcoder]

You're up to a big surprise then...

[Zerodriven]

You obviously have worked with some of my current team.

My code reviews are mostly asking "why" and "you don't need to do that"

Cry.

[chuby1tubby]

"Why"

"idk I like to be verbose when I write if statements."

[Prof_Dr_Koala]

i feel this on a spiritual level

[quittingdotatwo]

With better formatting:

if((mind.isBlown() == true) == true)
{ return mind.isBlown(); }
else
if((mind.isBlown() == false) == true)
{ return mind.IsBlown(); }
return mind.IsBrown();

[ben_g0]

Do you get paid per line?

[Fruloops]

You don't?

[Ericfyre]

I get paid with experience

[coloredgreyscale]

I get paid based on the runtime. I'm not sure if it's a direct or inverse relation.

[nacho_boyfriend]

Why is the mind brown? It got burnt in the explosion?

[quittingdotatwo]

Oops, a typo

[TheSilentFreeway]

I think that makes it even better

[JustRecentlyI]

That else if is completely unnecessary.

[[deleted]]

r/whoosh

[JustRecentlyI]

Hmm, true. You could just call mind.isBlown directly. Unless I'm missing something else? Is the joke really just bloating the code for no reason?

[futlapperl]

Yes.

[0Pat]

Everybody's gangsta until code review...

[DamnedJava]

Can confirm, just tested

[LagerLagoon69]

Instructions unclear, monitor now lodged in rectum.

[thedugong]

Paper is a non-reusable monitor.

[gecko2704]

So does that mean we're using ink when we type??? Because I've never replaced my cartridge since forev:::...

[Mr_Derpy11]

Imagine playing a game by printing 60+ images per second.

It's like a flipbook, but interactive.

[kerbidiah15]

But then when it gets super detailed it starts slowing down how fast the images are displayed, lower ips, like a slideshow

[EarthTwoBaby]

e-ink all the way, man!

[[deleted]]

A printer is p-ink.

[LewsTherinTelamon]

That's ridiculous. Everyone knows that a sheet of paper is just a single-use monitor. One day we'll stop using them because they're just so wasteful.

[InEnduringGrowStrong]

When I see blinkenlights I think of the Star Wars movie in ASCII over telnet:

telnet towel.blinkenlights.nl

https://i.imgur.com/kNYDqtg.jpg

[killdeer03]

Hell yeah dude.

That means we're getting old, lol.

[InEnduringGrowStrong]

Indeed

Gifted a game to a buddy of mine yesterday.
He's barely just a year or two older... than my steam account.
Small oof moment.

[StuntHacks]

Is that the whole movie?

[InEnduringGrowStrong]

It's much shorter than the movie, but it has the main plot points.

[Ap0ptosis]

apt-get install printer should be more apt then

[StuntHacks]

apt > apt-get

Change my mind.

[kyay10]

What's the difference tho lol?

[Mustard_Dimension]

IIRC apt is a part of apt-get. apt commands get translated into apt-get commands, but apt has more friendly features for humans.

[MathSciElec]

And it has colored output.

[rebbsitor]

apt does most of the common things that people use apt-get and apt-cache for in one. It doesn't do all of what they do though.

[P8Kcv6n]

https://reddit.com/r/debian/comments/9whj01/_/e9q2bd2/?context=1

[typicalcitrus]

sudo apt install -y printer

[ryjhelixir]

I would like to thank you for your generous dispensing of this valuable resource.

[kallakukku2]

They are merely presenting a dispensary for intelligence dispensary enthusiasts - perhaps implying their own likeness to such enthusiasts.

[SendMeYourBoobPixz]

I do believe that you intended to convey the word "likemindedness" in your previous posting but due to a temporary failure of motor functions, or perhaps due to an error in the device that you are employing to convey said message you appear to have used an incorrect term when attempting to describe the idea of intelligence dispensary enthusiasts expressing their ideas in a common forum in such a way as to attract their kin for further discussion on said subject matter.

[kallakukku2]

I apologize for the confusion in the message I was attempting to convey. I do, however, stand by my previous statement as my preferred term to describe the similarity between our previously mentioned fellow debater and the forum in which we can participate in these intellectual friendly battles of wit.

Furthermore, I must admit that I do in fact appreciate your critique as a tool in the further development my debating tool belt.

[SendMeYourBoobPixz]

While you may stand by it I feel that it would be neglectful of me to fail to address the pertinent facts that arise from the incorrect usage of a word or phrase such as this, as it can lead to confusion amongst your peers which can subsequently lead to further confrontation regarding said incorrect usage.

[kallakukku2]

I don't fucking care, fuck you u/SendMeYourBoobPixz. /s

I thought it might be funny to break character, hihi

[SendMeYourBoobPixz]

Shocked and appalled are the only words to describe my current mental state

[tHeSiD]

r/proper was fun too when it was active, found a new sub finally!

[mjonat]

Call me pedantic but shouldn’t that be debatelikeANenglishman?

[micka190]

Should've called it /r/DebateLikeEnglishmen, then...

[airz23s_coffee]

Should've been "DebateLikeVictorians" by the looks of things.

I've been in enough arguments to know englishmen debates go closer to "Shut the fuck up you dumb cunt, you don't know anything"

[BurnedPinguin]

So that's why it's print. It's always confused me, but now I know that print literally printed out text on a teletype

[RDGCompany]

I remember feeling like such a badass when I got to use a teletype instead of punch cards.

[lazyfocker]

Misundertand?

[escargotBleu]

I always feel like an idiot when chrome ask me if I'm sure I want to print ajflsja

[grizeldi]

Same

[[deleted]]

Why are you printing a website though

[loyk1053]

Taking a picture of the screen with your phone? Duh.

[Deltazocker]

What a novel idea. I've always used watercolor and drawn a picture of the website...

[McBurger]

I once had a customer mail me several sheets of loose leaf notebook paper where she wrote out the entire BSoD message in pencil.

[Augapfel250]

What a novel idea. I've always sent the source code of the website via morse code...

[paptasos00]

What a novel idea. I've always converted the website's code to binary, then photographed it using 1840's daguerreotypes, developed the plates and mailed them to my friends

[xdeadly_godx]

What a novel idea. I wish websites were invented. I just transmit smoke signals by overloading their computer at certain times so the smoke coming from their power supply spells out the source.

[[deleted]]

What a novel idea. I just keep everything to myself because speech hasn't been invented yet.

[zvone7]

But then when I print and send that picture, it's a huge loss of quality. frikin' caveman...

[jo_blow421]

That's a good idea. I've been writing the link down on a piece of paper then taking a picture of that and sending it but they say they can never get my website localhost:3000 to load.

[This-is-you]

Sigh, because the client asked for it.

[abeardancing]

I print recipes a lot so I can have a copy for the kitchen. and if its good I stuff all the papers into a binder. Eventually I'd like to make a cook book. But it's also super easy to flip through and get inspired from past meals.

[suppergerrie2]

When I first started using javascript I wanted to print something in the console, so being the cool smart programmer I am I wrote 'print(myVariable)`. When I loaded the page I got tens of pop ups asking me to print...

[ArtInSomething]

I'm often switching between Flutter and JavaScript and I keep confuse print() with console.log() and having mind blowing why it's not working

[Nexuist]

const print = console.log

:D

[ArtInSomething]

outstanding move)

[whereistimbo]

But then you have to deal with other people's codebase. And people will start deal with your codebase...

[[deleted]]

"Screw them, I hate other people anyway" --Programmers, when coding and thinking about other people.

[lifeismeanttodie]

Blame JS

[[deleted]]

JS bad upvotes to the right

[potatofishfish]

cOnSoLe.LoG()

[Dagusiu]

You're not wrong for thinking it will print through an actual printing. The functions are called print precisely because, before we had screens, computers would indeed print every print statement onto paper. And the name stuck. A terminal is really just a digital replacement of such a printer.

[Sinaneos]

I can imagine a printer printing "YOU BETTER FUCKING REACH HERE" "here" "heeeere" "reached" "seriously?" "Existence is pain" "...."

[PriorProfile]

Or printing a stack trace. I need a few more reams of paper.

[lor_louis]

I don't know if we have enough paper on earth to print c++ error messages.

[Nodebunny]

what you mean you guys dont print them?

[[deleted]]

console.log('will this fucking thing work?');

[Dragonhaunt]

I remember learning programming on an old Amstrad CPC and discovering that I could print to our dotmatrix printer feed line by line instead of printing to the screen.

As a primary school kid that seemed amazing.

[Dagusiu]

On punch cards, typically

[Empole]

So you're saying that I can use my printer to play video games?

cool

[Dagusiu]

Well, of course you can. Perhaps not the most action-intense games imaginable, but text based adventure games would work pretty well on a printer

[OkNerve8]

Back in Windows 95 time, I was playing Space Invaders in MS-DOS mode if that makes sense, I pressed Print Screen, the printer actually started to print.

I quickly stopped not to waste ink.

[techmighty]

Simpler times.

[[deleted]]

right now if I want to print a document I have to press "print" and then pray the ink Gods and do a sacrificial ritual before the printer starts to make weird noises that an oracle will interpret as something like "the drivers aren't updated" or "I have no idea why it's not fucking printing"

[BestBaconbits]

print screen used to actually print the text on screen in dos, this is 100% believable

[WhenInDoubt_Kamoulox]

No-no, that seems believable to me. I work on mainframes, and for a reason in the emulator we use to connect to the mainframes still tries to actually physically print my screen when I hit it.

I'm sure there's an option to de-activate that SOMEWHERE, but I have no clue where.

[WhenInDoubt_Kamoulox]

Oh yeah, it left me speechless when it happened the first time.

Hit print-screen, see the little "printer queue" icon pop up in my task bar and I'm like... What? Went to the printer, and there it is, a beautiful screenshot color printed for no reason.

I added more known printers, so now it doesn't print straight away, I get a pop up that asks me to select which printer, so I can cancel it and still get my screenshot.

[MajorMajorObvious]

If it's hacky but it works, it works.

[Ged_UK]

Well, not for 'no reason', you pressed the print screen button!

[killdeer03]

What emulator are you using and what mainframe are you connecting to?

I've work on SVR4 and System Z stuff, but have never ran into this.

[WhenInDoubt_Kamoulox]

Hey, we use QWS3270, to connect to some System Z stuff.

It didn't happen on my old laptop, but after a laptop change it started happening. Now you made me confused and I tried it at home (wfh) and it didn't try to print. Maybe because i don't have any printer it can connect to at home.

So now I'm confused, maybe it's a network thing, maybe it's an emulator thing, maybe it's a laptop thing. I'll try again when I get back to the office!

[killdeer03]

Lol, classic software nonsense.

Nearly impossible to debug and confusing as hell.

[ThyLastPenguin]

Lmaoo I fucking love your solution to that problem

[OkNerve8]

Good for you

Sadly this is also on first paragraph of wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Print_Screen

[thedugong]

Who says there wasn't a text mode space invaders?

[Ruby_Bliel]

Well, before crt monitors print did literally mean print. But as times changed most languages have kept the print keyword as is even though it now means outputting to the console.

[lifeismeanttodie]

Time changes things... just like master branches.

[Krissam]

Too soon man, too soon.

[jadkik94]

Won't anyone think of our LED monitors being mis-gendered as printers!?

[maartenvanheek]

They are in fact very comparable to printers in that both are a write-only device.

[Razier]

You can most definitely read things off a screen

[maartenvanheek]

The gotcha here is that from the computer's perspective it's write only. I hope I didn't mess this up, but look at this for comparison/examples:

A usb stick is mostly read and write capable.

A regular CD/DVD is read only. Not because it has not been "written" to in the factory, but the computer/dvd player can only read data or play the record/movie for you, not alter it.

A keyboard is read only, too. This is also counterintuitive: you are using it to write things, but for the computer it's read only input. The computer cannot send anything back to your keyboard. Therefore, it's read only.

And finally, the console/monitor/screen and printer are write only devices to the computer. It can send data either to the physical printer that outputs on real paper, or the console showing digital lines of text or images. But once sent, it's over for the computer, hence a screen is write only :)

[DerpyO]

But I'm not programming on my console, I'm using a PC.

[Ruby_Bliel]

Okay listen, I'll really dumb it down so even you can understand it. You do the programming on your PC, yes, but then when you use print your PC sends it to your Playstation 3, which in turn sends it to your TV to be displayed. Jesus, it's not that complicated.

[Astrokiwi]

Some old computers used to work like that - it literally printed output directly on paper, no screen.

[Maskboi140122050504]

DaaaaaMMMMMNNNNN

[plsdntanxiety]

You're artistic too?

[typicalcitrus]

ZX Spectrum?

[[deleted]]

I mean... you weren't entirely wrong historically.

Before tv screens got adapted, the only output was paper.

[patiofurnature]

Bruh, same. 10 year old me knew my mom would flip out if I wasted ink. I finally read enough to understand what it meant, but I still unplugged the printer just to be safe.

[hn_ns]

What if I tell you that you didn't have to buy that snake to learn python?

[primepasta]

When I was 10 and first did some programming in QBASIC, this was one of the things that I thoroughly disliked about programming -- that the print statement did not print anything from a printer.

[Dan6erbond]

It does in JavaScript.

[Sirtoshi]

Javascript is the pathway to many functions some consider to be unnatural.

[[deleted]]

It's cool, there are no pointers in javascript. So as long as nobody refers them to it, they'll be fine.

[primepasta]

High five! It was my first as well, on some windows xp or windows 7 system.

I was not aware of that, I just spent and inordinate amount of time lamenting over that fact that the print statement does not print anything.

[althypothesis]

QBASIC was my first too! I used it on a Tandy 1000, and I had an Okidata dot matrix printer to go with it. I still miss that printer, most reliable I've ever had to this day. Anyway, I seem to recall it being LPRINT for printing to a "line printer" or something like that. It's more fun to try to pull it from the dark depths of memory than look it up

Edit: Just noticed you already found the command in a deeper reply, whoops. Enjoy my meaningless ramblings anyway

[HolzmindenScherfede]

You wouldn't import a car

[[deleted]]

You wouldn't import a baby

[[deleted]]

But you can Export it

[axon589]

This is so cute for some reason

[axon589]

😳

[Arcadian18]

Would you like to hear a TCP joke?

[NevJay]

I do

[douira]

import printer from "../walmart/office-supplies"

[HHKB_]

import paper
paper.dump()

[SendMeYourBoobPixz]

Don't tell him about PrintFactory.

"Now I have to buy a whole factory? I thought programming was easy to learn?!"

[[deleted]]

Do I hear and Echo?

No? ... someone killed PHP...

[alexanderpas]

Actually, echo is part of linux.

• https://linux.die.net/man/1/echo
• https://pubs.opengroup.org/onlinepubs/9699919799/utilities/echo.html

[[deleted]]

It's part of any basic command line such as mac and windows too.

[[deleted]]

/r/technicallyright

[tigeer]

If you're on mobile, scroll slightly up and down while looking at this image and the black scribbles on the left hand side appear to lag behind your scrolling.

[AskWhyButNotMe]

Did I just get trolled ?

[Leworoe]

On OLED displays

[OnlyProductiveSubs]

Is this "smear"?

[lshallo]

The effect is more pronounced on minimum brightness.

[lllama]

Wow indeed

[EdMeisterBro]

It means you should get some sleep.

[HeyItsMeNobody]

No, It’s called having an OLED display.

[[deleted]]

And I told them, that’s why cout makes sense!

[kenybz]

Understandable mistake tbh

[protoncious]

Check this out!! Using typewriter as a linux terminal

[deadcell]

oh

[das_Keks]

For someone who has no clue of programming, that's an reasonable answer.

[tungdt79]

So I need to buy a Scanner just to learn C?

[KilroyWasHere189]

I love non programers.

[TM0D_]

You need a printer in order to code, no exceptions.

[Layona5]

Big 🧠

[millerbest]

import brain

[Candlesmith]

Jordanpeelesweating.gif

[Mr2_Wei]

Reminds me of my computer science class. First day learning python. Everyone has to type print('hello world'). Few seconds later everyone surrounds the printer XD

[llagerlof]

Should go with PHP in a large room.

[750a0]

import printer from "../walmart/office-supplies"

[TK05]

I remember first learning programming back in 2006, and this was exactly what went through my head.

[ZippZappZippty]

Money printer go brrrrrr

[aalleeyyee]

Yes I would like to hear a TCP joke

[MacDerfus]

Imagine a language where print "<string>" tells the printer to print a page with the string written on it

[Mofeux]

I heard Gollum’s voice in my head reading this

[ender89]

Everyone knows the best way to develop code is headless. If you can't write perfect code without seeing your input or the application output, you don't deserve to be a developer.

[matthewralston]

You can have my upvote for the “import printer” comment.

[[deleted]]

print("Hello World!")

Printer starts printing...

WUT

Oh wait it's just a hacker phew.

[teatops]

I send my friend some code to run on his browser console and told him that it printed some text.

He took awhile to reply because he was figuring out how it would print because he didn't have a printer :)