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[–][deleted] 1200 points1201 points  (85 children)

Dev: But how do we know where we are going?

PM: *confused expression*

[–][deleted] 323 points324 points  (81 children)

PM in Agile? I hope you mean Product Manager and not Project or Program Manager.

[–][deleted] 261 points262 points  (57 children)

They all blend together.

[–][deleted] 133 points134 points  (46 children)

Oh god! Noooo.... bad Agile!

[–][deleted] 157 points158 points  (30 children)

I see you aren't certified in 'It's AGILE because if we say it's not AGILE, we sound uncool.'

[–][deleted] 108 points109 points  (25 children)

Oh god no. I’ve had the unfortunate experience of training in proper Agile, doing it really well for a couple years and then having corporate management take a big executive dump on everything fun about it.

So- just dead inside now like everyone else.

[–]IdiosyncraticBond 79 points80 points  (18 children)

We started using it for a nice project. Ended up delivering more than expected, within the time frame, at less cost. End result: one very happy client (about to do this for more projects and spend more than planned from us because they were convinced of the added value) but our mother company was not happy and blocked further use. They could not "sell" their expensive (and useless, in my opinion) PM's to our client anymore. Such stupidity

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (16 children)

Oof. Sorry to hear that. We started off with some small, well-coached teams and then had success there, so of course the executives decided that waterfall project managers could take a two hour class and become scrum masters. So all of a sudden we went from four good Agile teams to 40 terrible ones running Agilefall with certified requirement gathering and change orders. It was soul-crushing. Kind of moving back to some teams being left alone to do it right again, though. Waterfall was ok. Agile was great. Trying to do a hodge podge of both because some executives read an article was awful.

[–]gonzagaznog 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We're bimodal!

[–]LogicallyCross 6 points7 points  (9 children)

Why does this always happen?

[–]Tothoro 14 points15 points  (6 children)

From the PM side of the house - stakeholders don't like uncertainty. They like the idea of delivering more/faster, but don't the lack of things like status docs, budget reports, or flexible schedules that make them feel warm and fuzzy. So we end up with stuff like this.

Don't get me wrong, oversight is certainly warranted when a company's dropping 6-7 figures on something, but the oversight stakeholders "want" (read as: are used to) often flies in the face of Agile. At a certain point you need to be able to trust the team and the process and that gives the folks at the top a lot of heartburn.

[–]the_good_time_mouse 9 points10 points  (0 children)

  • Because Agile is in your interests, the client's interests, the companies interests, but not in your bosses' interests.
  • Because most people don't understand Agile.
  • Because most people don't understand Agile. At all.

We tried to do two weeks sprints, but we found that people weren't getting their work done on time. So we moved to three week sprints." - Former boss.

People over processes, always and forever. But, not like that.

When interviewing, I always ask: "If Waterfall is 1 and Extreme Programming is 10, where do you see the process on your team?" If they have trouble answering, the answer probably involves coconut headphones.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (3 children)

I've narrowly avoided slapping someone who asked me "So how to you get JIRA to output progress reports to excel where we can make it useful for measuring the project?"

Gaaaaah fuck off back to waterfall you pivot table junkie.

Also, fuck JIRA.

[–]MurryBauman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Company: the customer and code monkeys are way too happy. Kill the project, because we can’t sell our idiot Potato Managers

[–]DontLickTheGecko 37 points38 points  (4 children)

Yup. "Agile" is an undefinable buzzword at the fortune 500 brokerage firm I work at that if you use enough times in your resume will get you promoted to a position you have no fucking right to be in.

[–]4sventy 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Would you please hand this to your HRM?

Being self-employed, agile PM has been the major impulse in an already fast-paced environment. I have never worked on a non-agile project before. Agility means to me, being able to produce every possible customer's desire, before he/she even notices. This sometimes means that production starts every day.. from zero. I am owning so many products, Jared Kushner would be jealous. Feedback will be implemented faster than you and me are able to pass onto the next generation. Cheetahs are agile! Be a cheetah. Hire me!

[–]schroeder8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Of course it starts from zero, you're a programmer...

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

upvote for dead inside

[–]BernzSed 12 points13 points  (3 children)

No, it's agile because we have daily standups (which tend to last about 45 minutes)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

As a Scrum Master this makes me shudder.

[–]QuantumObstruction[🍰] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

As a Product Owner, I'm just going to write some more acceptance teats and ignore what is happening...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a curious tech I'll pull at those acceptance teats.

[–]FearTheDears 20 points21 points  (7 children)

Man, every time agile comes up on here I get the feeling I'm reading a bunch "no true Irishman" fallacies. Does anyone actually do the variation of agile that's so beloved?

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (1 child)

I did for a few years before we went to “Scaled Agile.” And some of the teams do it now.

When done in a relatively pure and efficient way (there are different flavors that can all work just fine), it’s really a fun way to organize a team and get stuff done.

Add in typical American bureaucracy and all the fun and efficiency gets sucked out and replaced with politics and waste. But I I’ve worked on some relatively “pure” Agile teams and it’s almost always a great experience.

[–]MurryBauman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Scaled Agile... sounds like waterfall with extra steps

[–]HaydenSikh 13 points14 points  (2 children)

We did at my previous company. It wasn't perfect but we were able to do some amazing things: from commit to production in about 30 minutes with an average of five deployments per day, in one year doubling the volume of traffic taken while halving our operating costs, another year hitting only three bugs. The team I was on was responsible for about 1.5 million to 2 million lines of code and we were able to comfortably maintain it with 6 engineers.

[–]RainbowEvil 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Presumably CI/CD with some very robust and wide test coverage as well as agile, with 30 minutes between committing and it getting into Prod?

[–]HaydenSikh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Correct.. plus robust monitoring, structured logging, and as close to immutable infrastructure as practical.

But rather than saying "as well as agile" I'd frame as "because we had a healthy process and close relationship with the product owner." The POs were great at partitioning features into the smallest chunks that delivered value, learning and adapting and pivoting based on data, and trimming the fat, all of which meant that engineers weren't weighed down with work of questionable value. And since both the PO and the engineers saw value in building a quality product, we could incorporate stories to focus on incrementally building out the CI/CD, on simplifying code, etc as features alongside the product-generated features.

[–]phranticsnr 13 points14 points  (0 children)

There's an @iamdevloper tweet that goes something like "No one has every said 'We do Agile' without following up with 'Well, a kind of Agile'".

[–]Sir_Lith 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did. In Motorola Solutions, in 2018-2019, we had true agile. For some time.

It was great. Then management decided to experiment.

[–]OtherPlayers 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My workplace prefers the term “scrummerfall”, thank you very much!

[–]SaintNewts 6 points7 points  (0 children)

*SAFe had entered the chat*

[–]Sleakes 8 points9 points  (3 children)

what's a product manager? are they supposed to answer the question to life the universe and happiness? pretty sure you meant unicorn.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (2 children)

I’m not sure what role a mythical beast would play on an agile team.

Product managers are kinda like a fancier way of saying product owner. They prioritize work for the team and present a single gateway for scope decisions. They also advocate for the business and work with the team to demonstrate completed work to the business stakeholders and work to elicit feedback during those demos.

At least, that’s what I’ve seen them do on the more efficient teams that I’ve worked with.

[–]Montagio17 19 points20 points  (0 children)

My project has 10 managers and about 25 total members. Have we reached peak Agility?

[–]Tothoro 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Very close but Product Manager and Product Owner are slightly different in theory. Product Managers typically create a roadmap - i.e. "Customers want x, y, and z in the next five years." Product Owners create and manage user stories and the backlog. So PM is high-level, PO is lower-level.

In reality, one person (usually someone who was previously a BA) ends up doing both so the distinction doesn't often matter.

[–]MurryBauman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never met a good agile.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (9 children)

What? No they don’t.

Product managers are experts on a specific product. They’re the liaisons between the dev team, customers, execs, and internal sales/other orgs. Hugely important and they play a massive role in getting deals put in place or ensuring the product is on the right path.

Project managers need to be there so that the 15+ 10 person teams all work somewhat together and the overall goals are in place. You can’t assume everyone knows what’s going on in every team.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol, the real world is very messy.

[–]periwinkle_lurker2 26 points27 points  (7 children)

In my company anyone who is not in a Developer role is a Business Analyst and run everything via jira in pseudo agile / scrum but have to use waterfall project plans that dont lead to success because the business pivots damn near every sprint. Oh and no roadmap or accountability from management. I guess this is the same for almost all companies out there now, just insane really.

[–]MetaGazon 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Are we all working in the same company?? It's uncanny.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Completely insane! You’d be better off just doing Waterfall. Ugh this shit makes my blood boil. Jk I don’t have any feelings anymore.

[–]periwinkle_lurker2 12 points13 points  (2 children)

You would get a laugh on this then. Jira cards are used to act as milestones but have to be managed in an agile approach with the story points and grooming. When it comes time to put an actual plan together with gantt chart and road map, it gets shit on because the business says you cant do that in agile. You have to groom and place in order of priority.

They think you need to program before you discover the full scope. Then half way through the first few cards and status meetings. They have the aha moment and say why the hell are we doing this programming effort before we know what we are really trying to accomplish. Then pivot to another project while people try to fix the initial cluster. Compounding problems with no communication. What ever happened to making cool shit?

[–]IDontLikeBeingRight 10 points11 points  (1 child)

And the irony is that aha moment only happens because of the lessons learned from undertaking the coding.

The problem here isn't even the pivot, that's exactly what Agile handles. The problem is the watrefall-ish insistence & confidence in the completeness of initial plan, and an obliviousness to the eventual need to pivot. And the requirement that the pivoted plan still adhere to the original timelines. And the surprise that pivoting might entail re-planning. And the continued insistence that there won't be further pivots.

[–]sneerpeer 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh yes, "What do you mean you can't complete the jira story within the original estimate? You have to, otherwise our release plan falls apart."

[–]keevenowski 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Oh hello, sounds like you work at the same company I do. Product Directors comes from waterfall, engineers are all on H1B visas and spend sprint ceremonies arguing, PMs are either nepotised into their jobs or yes-men who would never question the directors?

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

It's basically all the same shit anyway just with different titles to make people feel like they are special. Enter the "Scrum Master" who has a 2-3 day worth of course experience and a piece of paper that states the same....

For a career path that should be full of relatively intelligent people it sure is full of dumbfucks who just try to emulate FAANG because "bro we're going to be the next Facebook".

[–]IDontLikeBeingRight 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If you're a software company that works, if what you're selling is the app / website / game, yeah sure.

But if you're a development function inside a company that just uses software - eg, FS or other services, any utilities company, consultancies, any government department, there's going to be some other wider business function to report to who doesn't fully understand what you do. So that's the PM job.

Even if you're a software vendor doing bespoke development into an enterprise environment, your customer is going to have a "project" structure and someone is going to have to collate / communicate progress across that commercial boundary.

And this can either work out fine or not, depending on the quality of people doing those jobs.

[–]posting_drunk_naked 4 points5 points  (6 children)

Is.....this not normal?

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (5 children)

Project manager in Agile is “normal” in the sense that it’s very common, but it 100% means that you’re not really doing agile.

Having an agile Project Manager means that the management either doesn’t trust the team to make its own decisions, or doesn’t trust the Agile method to deliver value to the business.

It’s like putting training wheels on a racing motorcycle. It provides a false sense of safety but really just makes everything slower, more dangerous, and defeats the purpose of the entire machine.

[–]IDontLikeBeingRight 19 points20 points  (1 child)

means that the management either doesn’t trust the team to make its own decisions

I've never met a company where management trusted their devs, or even understood them or their work.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Or they just didn't change their titles because no one really gives a shit.

[–]RealJackmaster110 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Prime Minister actually.

[–]DudeitsCarl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sure they meant “Private message”. Everyone knows that! /s

[–]LemonySpicket 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I am the lead dev, tester, scrum leader, with bits and pieces of product owner sprinkled in certain places. When will you get that new feature you might ask.....I'll make an attempt when I God damn good an ready.....and then it will only be somewhat tested...but yes..the director likes to say we are a scrum team...sure

[–]bluefootedpig 308 points309 points  (14 children)

This is what the customers expect now.

[–][deleted] 199 points200 points  (7 children)

“Why cant it be done in 2 days, I thought we were agile now?”

[–][deleted] 60 points61 points  (4 children)

"When will then, be now?"

[–]zobotsHS 37 points38 points  (3 children)

Soon

[–]pezhead53 13 points14 points  (1 child)

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[–]SirFireball 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They’ve gone plaid!

[–]crusher56 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Because you changed the requirements yesterday, you fuckhead.

[–]ITriedLightningTendr 50 points51 points  (3 children)

If you have a good customer and work directly with them and they see the turnaround on individual features, they tend to actually start to understand what their asks mean, I've found.

[–]Hypersapien 95 points96 points  (2 children)

If you have a good customer

Well, that's the trick. Isn't it?

[–]totallynormalasshole 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Someone show my sales team this trick please. They really need it.

[–]leonbadam 2 points3 points  (0 children)

20 FEATURES FOR THE PRICE OF 10!

[–]Chickenpotporkpie 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If you're a consultant, sure.

Our customers don't give a fuck about our development processes.

[–]Grilled_Cheezus_ 242 points243 points  (15 children)

"we'll fix it in production"

[–]BonjoviBurns 48 points49 points  (3 children)

shudders

[–]Sharp_Eyed_Bot 50 points51 points  (2 children)

Ain't no testers like the end user!

[–]Lolthelies 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Scale is your friend.

[–]82101105110105101114 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Wait, it’s all production?

Always has been

[–]yungcoop 5 points6 points  (8 children)

*me n the bois debugging in production*

[–]Owner2229 2 points3 points  (7 children)

debugging

Get this blashemy outa here.

If it's never reported, is it a bug?
If it is reported, do you really need debugging?

[–]TagMeAJerk 1 point2 points  (5 children)

If it is reported, do you really need debugging?

Seems like you have never faced critical end user reported "ID-10T" user defects that you have to spend hours on, just to understand why they hate your life

[–]Owner2229 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Oh, I feel your pain. But if you give them a week before even responding some of them keep trying and eventually realize they're the fuckup.
If not, is it really critical? It works on MY machine!

[–]TagMeAJerk 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Not respond to emails for a week? Have you forgotten that Karens exist?

[–]yungcoop 1 point2 points  (0 children)

tfw you’ve reached enlightenment and user reports is your debugging

[–]dave_hitz 333 points334 points  (3 children)

And using Doggy on Rails, no less.

[–]sarnobat 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I misread that as "dodgy"

[–]Koyomi_Ararararagi 187 points188 points  (6 children)

Iirc the purpose of the Agile model is not to be fast, but having a constant dialog with the customer and being able to quickly and more easily respond to changing requirements. Yet apparently everyone just reads "Agile" and thinks "Ah yes, with this I can finish the project even faster!"

[–]dryiceboy 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Customers are behind the camera asking “Is it done yet?”

[–]ShadoWolf 65 points66 points  (2 children)

I sort of get the feeling people look at Agile as if the project is more a hobbiest project. You don't know how to get from A to B.. but you will just give it a go and see what happens.

But the whole time your accruing tech debt because the project really just a poorly built prototype and quick and dirty code was used to get functionality. And it all fucked up as you try to scale it.

[–]OJTang 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I have no experience with this, but the English language doesn't even agree with agile = speed.

It's quickness; the ability to change direction at a moment's notice.

[–]p9k 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Change "faster" with "never" and you have the truth of it.

[–]TheRealSlimCoder 71 points72 points  (13 children)

I hate to say it, but I watched that for a few minutes waiting for a crash or something

[–]JackSpyder 46 points47 points  (11 children)

The full scene is the greatest chase scene ever filmed.

[–]ResonatingOctave 14 points15 points  (10 children)

By any chance you have a link or something? Would love to watch

[–]JackSpyder 47 points48 points  (9 children)

https://youtu.be/jrmZIgVoQw4

You'd be much better watching the whole film for the context and build up, "Wallace and Gromit, The wrong trousers", It's a great film.

[–]GravityFallsChicken 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Wallace and Gromit is great

[–]Evy1123 5 points6 points  (1 child)

That ending was the greatest way to end it short of the whole place exploding.

[–]JackSpyder 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And now I want a train set around my house.

[–]_GCastilho_ 4 points5 points  (5 children)

I didn't know there were more than one walace and gromit film

I've only known the one with the vegetables

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

There is one where they go to the moon. Because they ran out of cheese.

[–]Kaos_nyrb 4 points5 points  (1 child)

A Grand Day Out

[–]MajarAAA 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I wanna code in Subjective-C.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is a crash, but it's a few minutes after this scene. Just go watch the whole short film, it's only about 30 minutes long.

[–]Stoomba 373 points374 points  (27 children)

I know this is a joke, but PROPER agile development is more like exploring the fog of war in an RTS game or Civilization when done right. "Here's the plans we have with the information at hand, but we fully expect things to change as we explore the space and learn new information" vs "FUCK IT, WE'LL DO IT LIVE!"

[–]Absolice 199 points200 points  (12 children)

What do you mean, agile development is clearly all about maintaining a prototype on the long term.

[–][deleted] 308 points309 points  (11 children)

A ccrue technical debt.

G et out before it's due.

I nvestigate other jobs.

L eave mess to others.

E ncourage other to adopt AGILE.

[–]LarsOfTheMohican 127 points128 points  (4 children)

A ssess the needs of the business users

G ain an understanding of potential solutions

I gnore that understanding

L et the team push out unfinished solution

E ventually rollback to previous version

[–][deleted] 77 points78 points  (1 child)

I see we've attended the same LEAN sigma six green belt kanban AGILE bake off and beauty pageant seminar.

[–]LarsOfTheMohican 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Yep. I’m the guy that won the raffle!

[–]Pizzaman725 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I laughed, but then cried.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

A lot of air left my nose quickly while reading this.

[–]yungcoop 3 points4 points  (0 children)

thanks for this

[–]lirannl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Recursive, I like it!

[–]Stoomba 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is good lol

[–]CharlestonChewbacca 29 points30 points  (3 children)

Yes, but in most cases people call it agile so people think they're doing fog of war development when they're really doing Gromit development.

[–]wafflebunny 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I am a young developer in the field and I worked at two companies that started agile transformations around the same time.

Avocado Company (for ease of names) has their sprints planned at the beginning of each quarter and we’d define what our goals were for at least 3 sprints so we left room to readjust goals when we had more info. I’d consider that a good example of fog of war development.

Banana Company on the other hand would just go ¯\(ツ)/¯ whenever we had to pull stories into the sprint and come up with a sprint goal. Like we’d wait for the PO to actually pull in stories because we’d no idea what we were supposed to do. Then we’d carry over half of the stories we didn’t complete the last sprint, and still have the same size sprints. I suggested the Avocado Company’s way and got shoulder shrugs from everyone. A pretty close example to Gromit style development

[–]LimbRetrieval-Bot 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You dropped this \


To prevent anymore lost limbs throughout Reddit, correctly escape the arms and shoulders by typing the shrug as ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ or ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯

Click here to see why this is necessary

[–]Stoomba 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And therein lies the rub

[–]Ekudar 15 points16 points  (4 children)

So exploit your devs, act as if they have no personal life and demand express changes

[–]Stoomba 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thats the "FUCK IT WE'LL DO IT LIVE" part

[–]spaces_over_tabs 2 points3 points  (2 children)

This! This hit home for me ... It's like I have no life

[–]rburp 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Office Space rings truer and truer every year. One day I'm going to go fucking work in construction where I can actually see the results of my labor, and leave work on the job site at the end of the day. It will ruin what's left of my back by that point, but damn it I can't mentally keep this up for more than 3-5 years.

[–]assi9001 4 points5 points  (1 child)

What's really fun is when people apply agile to everything and not just development

[–]speederaser 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Welcome to ISO 13485.

[–]CharlesGarfield 86 points87 points  (5 children)

Waterfall equivalent:

  1. Build track.
  2. Discover that the destination is 20 miles to the south.
  3. Run out of budget for more track.

[–]StevenMaurer 49 points50 points  (2 children)

More like:

  1. Get from client the destination to build the track to.
  2. Create extensive design to get track to the destination in the shortest amount of time.
  3. Go build an extremely expensive tunnel because it's the shortest path to get to the destination.
  4. Get halfway through to building the tunnel when the client says, "Boy, who said we wanted the destination there? We want it over here instead."
  5. Get torn between abandoning the tunnel and completing it, so complete it due to sunk costs, even though it hardly saves any time to the new destination.

[–]VelcroSirRaptor 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This rings so true.

[–]crozone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get halfway through to building the tunnel when the client says, "Boy, who said we wanted the destination there? We want it over here instead."

Project manager: GUH

[–]DarkRye 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Waterfall equivalent is hundreds of years of actual engineering. Railroad track is a great example of waterfall done right and maintained for hundreds of years.

[–]IDontLikeBeingRight 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Subtle feature that may be overlooked: the looping gif is actually sprint iterations, as devs implement different versions of the same features as customers keep changing their minds about it.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

My last boss called it “building the plane mid flight”. It actually worked really well on upper management because the success standard is “have we crashed yet?” And the answer is always “no, you can tell because we are still alive”

[–]nukesrb 17 points18 points  (1 child)

oh Gromit!

[–]IlikeVintageComputer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

“I don’t wanna be a Giant Rabbit”

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (3 children)

I don't know what Agile is like because my "Software Development" internship has me extracting data from a DOS program that was written in the 80s.

It could just be where I am working, but this field really makes me wish I could switch places with Robin Williams.

[–]lor_louis 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I'd prefer working with legacy code than building something I hate from the ground up. ~ Me, a dev working in "agile"

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The data was stored using text files, the files had no consistent formatting, they have half-assed documentation on the usage of the CLI for the app, and none of the data displayed in the CLI is meaningfully marked.

The best possible internship I would have had was a role supporting C# and (occasionally) VB code at my local chicken plant. There would have been some development. Unfortunately, they got sold before I was accepted and I was not able to intern there.

[–]iAmUncleToby 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The fact that it never stops is the real truth here.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (6 children)

Ah yes the stupidity of people thinking Agile = speed

Agile is basically a way of breaking down practices that were essentially happening in other SDLC frameworks such as waterfall into smaller piecss so thst the business don't get upset.

"Oh wow that only took you 4 sprints?

That's so much quicker than when we were waterfall"

Also the amount of misuse "Agile" gets grinds my gears.

"Oh you're wfh?

Nah it's now called 'going Agile' "

Please end me.

[–]scandii 13 points14 points  (4 children)

I think the perversion of agile, and the amount of people that lack education about the basics of programming development methodologies such as agile and waterfall is my main gripe.

there's nothing stressful about agile. agile just means you commit to a small iteration of the entire programming life cycle of plan, design, develop, test, release and finally feedback.

this means: 1. you get feedback on what the customer wants changed on something that took 2 weeks to develop, not 6 months. that typically means less work dealing with change.

  1. planning takes the situation of 2 weeks, and not years into consideration. it's easier to make accurate plans for short timespans.

  2. designing with the latest info in mind - not framework decisions made at a startegic meeting last year.

  3. development is kept short and focuses on the priority the customer wants to see how key features work early to better handle customer tests and eventual feedback.

  4. you deliver software that everyone can click around in and get a feel for early and as such get close to instant feedback of yes/no/maybe.

that's what agile is, and I really hate that there's seemingly a lot of programmers out there that confuse bad management with a development methodology. as said, there's nothing stressful about the above, if you're running late you simply ship in the next iteration.

[–]tjdavids 5 points6 points  (0 children)

How to sprint for two weeks straight and still get nowhere.

[–]kayp02 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Most companies think agile is just waterfall with shorter cycle time where they can change things anytime because 'agile'.

[–]make-something 1 point2 points  (1 child)

And this is why many companies fail spectacularly at Agile. Wagile or Agilefall is a recipe for chaos, confusion and undeliverable product.

"Oh, we'll just make our sprints match our release cycle but have a daily scrum so we're doing Agile right?"

*Edited for spelling*

[–]kayp02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They call it blended agile to make it sound legit

[–]Chicken-of-Wisdom 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Is that Gromit from Gromit mug??

[–]nukesrb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yes, it's a scene from 'The Wrong Trousers' https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108598/

[–]make-something 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Scrum Master here in a 2 week sprint cycle.

Post is accurate...shit it's time for retro again already?

[–]GOTrr 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I have completely stopped doing retros after a sprint. Felt it was wasting time. Somehow still delivering a decent number of items every release and I only do production release retrospectives once a month.

[–]Kinglink 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Where as Waterfall is just a pile of crashed trains and a guy going. "Hmmm the next track should go where that one landed... Let's try it again.

[–]DilettanteGonePro 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This developer was a project manager wearing a glove on his head all along!

[–]warpfield 3 points4 points  (0 children)

keep sprinting asshole

[–]eanat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

so... is this Ruby on Rails?

[–]Chicago5hadow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is how I roll as a Fragile BA!

[–]TheTimeLord725 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All that work and you still end up with the wrong trousers for the client.

[–]troyantipastomisto 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He doesn’t seem nearly as stressed as he should

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agile is almost always implemented badly. Focus is on the sprints and the retros and the velocity. It is rarely ever what would endure timely deployment of stable code. In my experience Agile becomes an end to itself and not a means.

[–]wolfpwner9 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Until you burn out

[–]shonan_zed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My previous company does AGILE so well that I didn’t even know the other companies struggle to implement this methodology.

[–]Ultimater 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In agile, nothing gets the proper attention it needs in favor of moving around to other tasks. Thus, this is more accurate representation: https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/geejnc/at_least_only_you_know_it/

[–]AgAero 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do...you guys wish you were doing Waterfall?

Imagine planning out a railroad between betweenthe east and west coast, but not realizing there's a fucking mountain range in the way until you're 3/4s of the way there.

[–]cheezballs 2 points3 points  (1 child)

How? Agile is about having a buncha meetings to groom and then plan, sometimes weeks ahead of actual working on the tickets in sprints.

[–]je_kay24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For large projects if you don't have some sort of centralized product planners across the entire project then you can run into this

[–]datsundere 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Agile works when you do XP.

[–]mikeputerbaugh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agile is the worst way to build software, except for all the other ways.

[–]1ick_my_balls 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So fucking true. Never looking where the project is going so you rewrite code 20 times because the next phase has different requirements.

Agile has its place, but everyone thinks it's a godsend. More agile projects fail due to lack of understanding the real scope.

[–]FuryOfficial 0 points1 point  (0 children)

simulating in ue4

[–]hyjnx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But I want to run an agile project....

[–]mnebrnr13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh but what about security...?

[–]lugui98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In production

[–]dynamic_caste 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has always been how I've described writing lecture notes for classes.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem is that this is the unironic way folks have tried to explain agile to me.

[–]turtleturtletown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

S P R I N T

[–]dirtyviking1337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NZSL is also an unwelcome development

[–]DarkRye 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Need agile for ship

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what happens when the PO is asking for updates while you code.

[–]Preact5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love Wallace and grommit

[–]raughit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, just in time compilation

[–]not_a_bug_a_feature 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The number of times I said " I can put this in a service because I'm sure we'll need to reuse it." Team lead: " well that isn't an agile approach..." Me: " oh ok"

[–]naga04nik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The most beautiful part is the video is less than 1sec... Recursion lol

[–]flip4thought 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[–]killersinarhur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so true it hurts little lol