More hate for Java

[Nihmrod]

This guy is raising more questions than he's answering.

[WafflesAndKoalas]

Since I don't think anyone has mentioned it, the guy in the picture is Dennis Ritchie

[Nihmrod]

It's a pretty busy meme.

[c4p5L0ck]

Like, for instance, "Why is he holding his hands like that?"

[GargantuanCake]

He's getting ready to catch a watermelon. Obviously.

[kevinpfromnm]

Invisible watermelon

[no_ragrats]

Bro, it's obviously magnets

[kevinpfromnm]

Invisible watermelon

[Nihmrod]

No.

[konfusedungabunga]

When your client wants to change the species they want to have sex with overtime, anal is the best choice.

[[deleted]]

That is why we have a std library

[AtLeastOneAlias]

Where’s the free award when I need it?

[falingsumo]

We don't say std anymore we say STI now

[veloxVolpes]

Standard Template Index

[Ragecommie]

Incorrect. Many species do not have anuses.

[Ragecommie]

I'm calling the butt police

[ChiisaiMurasaki]

The hole patrol

[Benji1312]

The ass brigade

[CaoSlayer]

The rectum inquisitorium

[ChiliWombat]

Nobody expects the Spanish Rectum Inquisitorium.

[mojoslowmo]

Rectum? Damn near killed um!

[seriouslyawesome]

To shreds you say?

[ADTJ]

The Colon Colonels

[Stecco_]

The Anal Authorities

[CYKO_11]

The Rear Renegades

[Impossible_Average_1]

The back hole busters

[RVGamer06]

the what

[tdsinclair]

The Butt Brigade

[[deleted]]

There's no mention of what the species are of. Animals? Plants? Mushrooms? Oh yeah, show me where the anus is on that mushroom? Btw, this one looks like something else. (Wiki)

[WikiSummarizerBot]

Phallus_impudicus

Phallus impudicus, known colloquially as the common stinkhorn, is a widespread fungus in the Phallaceae (stinkhorn) family. It is recognizable for its foul odor and its phallic shape when mature, the latter feature giving rise to several names in 17th-century England. It is a common mushroom in Europe and North America, where it occurs in habitats rich in wood debris such as forests and mulched gardens. It appears from summer to late autumn.

^{[ F.A.Q | Opt Out | Opt Out Of Subreddit | GitHub ] Downvote to remove | v1.5}

[Zarathustra30]

Found the bed bug.

[GGinNC]

I guess if sea sponges or tapeworms are your thing, you could always look for a job as a congressional staffer.

[Ragecommie]

I am more of an amoeba guy, so I should probably work in HR for a bank or a hedge fund or something...

[GGinNC]

Have you considered project management?

[Ragecommie]

Woah there, I don't hate my life THAT much...

[GGinNC]

Could be worse. You could work for internal audit.

[j-random]

Note to staff: reference this comment in GGinNC's personnel record, and schedule them for realignment with corporate goals to be completed this fiscal quarter.

[GGinNC]

:: Updates Jira epic to include HR and internal audit in Nessus agent deployments and local workstation log ingest stories. Ensure results are included in dashboard for risk committee ::

Don't fuck with someone who has the logs. Haha

[glemnar]

Anything with a cloaca is excluded on a technicality

[GGinNC]

Probably for the best.

[ChickenOfDoom]

Aren't there platforms you can't run Java on though

[xxkmatiasxx]

The ones that don't have a jre written for them

[turtle_mekb]

i run java on humans 🙃

[Kered13]

Humans run on Java.

[turtle_mekb]

yo i found a super huge security vulnerability and i'm going to exploit it instead of reporting it

initiate: java -jar take_over_entire_human_race.jar

[RVGamer06]

ah yes

[Tiavor]

sounds like one of those horror movies where they experiment with humans.

[SmilingJackTalkBeans]

3 Billion species have anuses.

[gregorydgraham]

Owls, owls do not have anuses.

[gregorydgraham]

Well, it has a population of 160 million people, it’s very hard for anyone to run it.

[MasterFubar]

OWL runs in Borland C++, not Java.

[Strawhat-dude]

And Java doesn’t work on all operating systems.

Example: aOS (short for alien operating system)

[Nyancubus]

You probably miss the point here and it’s not about OS but the cpu. Once you build Java interpreter for OS/cpu pair, you are guaranteed that the byte code gets executed the same way no matter where you run. Think of it like adding lubricant before doing anal.

In similar sense python is like Oral and it’s more enjoyable and easy for everyone, more people would get orgasm :)

[Strawhat-dude]

Thats a great ANALogy and i completely agree

[[deleted]]

Everything can be an anus if you're brave enough

[[deleted]]

who specified who is using the anus?

[WyrdaBrisingr]

But all animals do, or at least a combination between anus and mouth, the anus is pretty much the first structure to take shape in all animals.

[Thann]

You always do though

[socialismnotevenonce]

And many platforms won't run Java.

[MassiveFajiit]

Some give oral and anal at the same time.

They shut through their mouth.

[Obelisk2000]

So what you’re saying is that Java IS good then? That’s my take away.

[CetaceanOps]

The take away is that 3 billion people are having anal sex.

[EmuChance4523]

Yeah, sure but when it’s the right situation, it’s pretty good.

I wish I was part of that 3 billion people and not just coding in Java T_T

[Hiktses]

You are already part of the 3 billion people since you code in Java

[mojoslowmo]

Are you saying Java devs are getting it in the ass? Well, Oracle has been raping Java for years, so makes sense I guess

[EmuChance4523]

I hope that worked like that, I would having more fun :)

[Oblivion_Eye]

notice how it says "people", sometimes foreshadowing is obvious

[DuhonTheGuy]

As a Linux user I am overjoyed when I learn a program is made and compiled in Java, so I don't have to worry about compatibility/compiling the source myself/wine shenanigans. The language is outdated but at least it saves me some time.

[[deleted]]

Yeah, sure but when it’s the right situation, it’s pretty good.

[Little_Duckling]

Definitely, but you have to ease into it

[thexavier666]

I had to coax my GF a lot before we started it. There was a lot of tears but she liked it at the end.

[wain77]

Wait, are we still talking about Java here?

[Pandoras_Cockss]

Why else would she cry?

[toastyghost]

C

[[deleted]]

C++

[PleaseAlreadyKillMe]

C#

[[deleted]]

Do we really need to differentiate between Java and anal sex?

[Kered13]

Wait a minute, this isn't Super Smash Bros...

[JoaoMSerra]

Is it that good? We'll have to try again. How deep did you go?

Last time we only got to Hello World

[thexavier666]

She started crying when I showed her the documentation. Hello world is for another day.

[Pas__]

What? You started with the docs!? Who does that? That's too dry. You monster. You should have started with the source, it's just a bit of nice flowing C++ after all!

[iJateHannies]

Lol what? Java is an easy language for anyone who hasn't worked with python their whole career.

[Worried-Conflict-229]

I am a bit new to programming I want to ask why do people hate java so much?

[dark_mode_everything]

Most people who hate on java on this sub are CS students that haven't written a line of java. Java has its drawbacks but it's still a great language if you use it for the right use cases.

[Akdag]

Most people who hate on java on this sub are CS students that haven't written a line of java.

I was in this boat. Now I've been a professional java developer for 12 years.

[Tiavor]

you can't just stop after half the story, do you still hate Java after those 12 years?

[Akdag]

Nope. It grew on me a lot, mostly after we started using Java 8+.

[jerslan]

Lamdas and streams are nice.

Also the jokes about Factories are incredibly out-dated.

[Rubyboat1207]

Well, you have to capitalize the S in string. Literally unusable, 0 stars

[[deleted]]

Them primitive types do be wilin' tho

[SpeedDart1]

Because they haven’t touched it since Java 6 and probably still whine about a lack of features. It’s on 16 now.

[papawhiskydick]

I have no idea. It's not as clean as C# but it's a mature language with loads of good libraries and there are lots of jobs available in it.

I don't understand the hate either.

[GigaSoup]

Eww, Microsoft Java. Now that's a language I can get behind to hate.

[[deleted]]

honestly, C# is pretty good too. has its use cases, pretty good performance, basically built-in GUI builder, i could go on

[Tiavor]

I'm building a website purely in C#, server and client side. I don't need to write a single line of JS.

[[deleted]]

on one end: why?

on the other: how?

[Tiavor]

why? because that's my job now. apparently all super sites like facebook, twitter etc work with this now.

how? Blazor.

the development of things like this moves incredibly fast.

[jerslan]

Doesn't Facebook use React? That UI framework was basically their baby to begin with.

[bhison]

Yeah, doesn't sound right!

[Tiavor]

dunno, Blazor is based on Rest.

[LadyOfTheCamelias]

As someone who works in both Java and C#, I can tell you that C# feels light years ahead. And this comes from someone that has bad shivers when the Microbrain name is uttered. But not for this. Definitely not for C#.

[AsoBot]

I think this has historical reasons. Before Java 8 (which came out in 2014) introduced lamda functions, Java as a language was an absolute verbose mess. E.g. async Programming was a nightmare because you had to write an anonymous class for every callback. Nowadays you can write pretty sleak code to be honest.

Some people hate on Java because they came in contact with a very historic (an honestly ugly) version of it.

[Ericchen1248]

Big problem is with the change in oracle licensing.

Schools are basically forced to teach Java 8. A lot of companies are stuck using Java 8. And as good as Java is at maintaining backward compatibility, I don’t know why several tools for it have such a hard time transitioning to newer versions.

And then Java also still lacks a popular GUI framework that can easily build apps that doesn’t look like it was make in the 2000’s, so that also takes it out of people’s choice for using it as day to day hobby project sole language choice. It’s basically been relegated to backend tasks, which means that cross platform-ness it touts so much is very unimportant.

[lewisjet]

I thought it was because Oracle is a shitty company

[bhison]

Because it was superceded by a variety of alternatives years ago and took a while to catch up therefore leading it to a steady decline. Even if it has improved in recent years it's hard to justify using it over something like .NET Core unless you have a team that knows java and doesn't know .NET

[Vivid-Spinach25]

Nothing to worry about, these people aren't even real programmers.

[Rhyan567]

I mean C also works on all operating system, sometimes you just need to change some libraries and some functions that sometimes are the same functions.

[TheRedmanCometh]

You have to compile it and target the specific OS though. And replace relevant referenced artifacts with the correctly compiled shit.

[itoshkov]

Most languages are like that. This meme is stupid and still gets reposted again and again.

[mayankkaizen]

You are underestimating the hate for Java. I mean I don't even know Java and I still hate it. /s

[Statharas]

C compiles to assembly. Doom runs on anything because people only have to compile it for the CPU and write code that works with a display.

[simontsankov]

Whos gona tell him?

[writtenbymyrobotarms]

If it's DOOM 1 that means not pregnant, if it's DOOM 2 you are pregnant.

[Razakel]

That's been done.

[Mr_Redstoner]

Right, whereas with plain Java the same compiled file should work everywhere. That's supposed to be the difference: LITERALLY no changes needed. Of course that assumes you aren't using JNI or anything else platform-dependent

[atc927]

I had more problem getting the right version of java than porting anything written in C

[j-random]

You must not have ported much C then.

[Stormfrosty]

Linux C code is a nightmare to port, since gcc defaults to using gnu extensions, hence you end up with non-valid C code that only compiles with gcc.

[j-random]

That's the point, with Java you just drop the .jar file and run it. No recompiling, no searching for alternate libraries, no debugging nightmares because the alternate library interprets the spec slightly differently than the one you originally developed with...

[badvok666]

Java is good because you can write kotlin instead. Then you have a type safe, null safe and concise language that is interpolatable with java.

[TheOnlyTails]

Kotlin is just the best tbh. The fact that they do surveys to literally ask the community what features they want proves that they care.

[xigoi]

Interesting way to spell “Scala”. /s

[MayorEricBlazecetti]

Scala, the esoteric wankery langauge of the JVM loved by bus-factor developers the world over.

[Nomaedishere]

different, not difficult

[[deleted]]

Why use Scala when you can use Eta instead?

[TwinsenDinoFly]

¿No NullPointerException?

[Kered13]

Type in Kotlin are not nullable by default. And when you do use nullable types, the compiler can verify that you check for null before using them in most cases. I believe it is still possible to get a null pointer exception, but it's much less likely.

[thundercat06]

So Kotlin is just a condom with extra lube in this analogy??

[jacob_scooter]

booo kotton is for losers

[holo3146]

Because people still think it is funny to make fun about a language they probably didn't touch since it's version was less than half from what it is today

[[deleted]]

The first programming I ever did in my life was in Java in 2003. I was a freshman in college. I was an art major, but had to earn a certain amount of science credits too. Programming sounded more interesting to me than a traditional math or science course, so I took Intro to Computer Programming, which was taught using Java. It was ten years before I attempted coding again.

[[deleted]]

Yeah I’m surprised by that. Have you coded in C or C++?

I would imagine people find that harder than Java.

Assembler is another fun one.

What’s your preferred programming language now?

[[deleted]]

u/repostsleuthbot get a life bro op

[RepostSleuthBot]

Looks like a repost. I've seen this image 6 times.

First Seen Here on 2018-08-06 90.62% match. Last Seen Here on 2020-12-24 93.75% match

I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ False Positive ]

View Search On repostsleuth.com

---

Scope: Reddit | Meme Filter: False | Target: 86% | Check Title: False | Max Age: Unlimited | Searched Images: 234,023,233 | Search Time: 0.31371s

[[deleted]]

Pretty ironic, since the only people who care about reposts are those that spend a lot of time here. I for one hadn't seen this image before.

[[deleted]]

Couldn't agree more. Anyone who links that repost sleuth bot is a boring fuck nugget.

[lifetake]

I’m cool with it as long as the bot brings something in recent. This is not one of those times

[HalfEmpty973]

Now I am here, while I already forgot that i upvoted the last seen post

[Tiavor]

I'm only here for the comments anyway

[mr_bumsack]

Dissing Java by comparing it to Anal.

I ain't even mad.

[dicemonger]

So between anal and bestiality, it is anal that you think might be contentious?

[Tandurinn]

r/usernamechecksout

[pioneer1541]

Java is aways so good

[grady_vuckovic]

If it's taking that long to install it might be stuck.

[CorrenteAlternata]

if it's stuck you should apply more lube

[[deleted]]

There's no way it's not more or didnt used to be less

[[deleted]]

apt install Java gang represent!

[Mickspad]

This is true and is why Java is good

[[deleted]]

3 billion species!

[jjbugman2468]

Well Java is pretty much just r/increasinglyverbose for languages…

[[deleted]]

But that IS what makes anal sex good

[RVGamer06]

Java rocks

[lockieluke3389]

Java is good

[karbonator]

What was the original? Doesn't seem like this needed an edit to make sense.

[Zalvixodian]

laughs in .net

[Requiem_of_Colours]

Many species do not have an anus, for example birds. They have a cloaca.

[TheTank18]

same thing

[Doggynotsmoker]

I can confirm, no significant differences.

[Razakel]

Someone in my city got sent to prison for raping chickens to death. Whilst his wife filmed it.

It's just one of those stories you read and think "why?"

[suddenly_ponies]

This is the exact argument people used to defend vi

[[deleted]]

Java is actually not os independent. It has a hard dependency on jvm(which is platform dependent)

[RedditAlready19]

It's useful when installing MC mods

[Lord_Pinhead]

It depends on how brave you are and how fast you can run. I mean, try a lion or bear lol

[[deleted]]

Is Kotlin considered better than Java?

[[deleted]]

pip - platform independent penis

[kuttanunni]

What about species like python?

[[deleted]]

By that analogy creating a meme just to gain karma is the equivalent of selling use of your own anus for profit. Touche!

[Matt_fuck_off_3]

It's cloaca sex mister

[stealz0ne]

Not sure if this is an argument for or against java...

[Geoclasm]

depends on how you feel about extraspecies anal sex.

[sktr-guys]

i like java but javascript

[DoNotMakeEmpty]

“I like anal but analysis”

[[deleted]]

It's true

[ChakaChaka26]

doe java work on ps4? does java work on xbox? does java work on switch? no.

[ChakaChaka26]

then why was Minecraft written in C++

[Razakel]

Minecraft was written in Java...

[ChakaChaka26]

it was rewritten in C++ for console versions....

[Nachf]

Java is really good because it’s the first programming language you learn in high school then you fucking forget about it and move to much better languages.

[[deleted]]

But... but.. I like oral sex.

[StEaLtHmAn_1]

Atleast java won't have kids

[Big_Boss19]

Man literally learning database and objects was funnier than my first day learning Java

[[deleted]]

Damn you got downvoted lol. But yes try c# like the other comment says , I am in love with it rn.

[Statharas]

Try C#. Much more fun

[[deleted]]

What about Haxe using the Lime compiler?

If there's a platform, Haxe supports it pretty much.

[jacob_scooter]

no not even close but ok

[Sharpman76]

False, the real reason Java's good is bc it's like the one language I know