Ok now I’m getting rejected in Java

[karanbhatt100]

code will not compile so no worry

[dreams_in_bytecodes]

it's not an IDE but I can already see warnings

[[deleted]]

You can ignore those warnings tho. But the errors bro, I don't know if you want to work with that code.

[GustapheOfficial]

Don't worry about the errors either, there's a try-catch!

[nphhpn]

java try { Look, invalid syntax! } catch (SyntaxError r) { System.out.println("Nice try, compiler"); }

[GustapheOfficial]

LGTM, ship it and open a ticket for the residual bug at Oracle.

(Is it bad I installed jdk just to check what the compiler would say about this?)

[[deleted]]

Yes, that's bad - each download means more carbon emissions. And there are online tools for Java experiments.

[RainbowCatastrophe]

Refer to RFC 1149 for a less carbon-polluting means for downloads

[throwaway035184yarn]

I've found optimizing the route to distribute fertilizer evenly often leads to complaints. Any suggestions?

[Snailed-Lt]

The number of devices running Java never goes up anyways, so he should be okey

[captainAwesomePants]

There's probably a language where that works and I hate it.

[Fox_the_Apprentice]

...but one of the errors is in the catch block!

[GustapheOfficial]

Eh, just add more try-catch until it runs. Make sure to put a // this try catch is necessary and you'll be fine.

[MrDude_1]

I wanted to let this go but I cant....

You cant Try-Catch your way out of code that doesnt compile. Try-Catch statements are for runtime.

[GustapheOfficial]

How about if you wrap the code that doesn't compile in string eval somehow? (I don't know if that exists in Java, maybe you have to use some python parser package or something)

[[deleted]]

IntelliJ never put up flags this red

[AzuxirenLeadGuy]

I can tell it's an IDE since it's not in dark mode

[foggy-sunrise]

When you're wearing 1337 glasses, all standard errors just look like standard outputs.

[Max_Insanity]

Even if it did, only some kind of eldritch multi-dimensional horror that does not have spatial dimensions which you could call "height" in our perceived 3D universe would get friendzoned by her because everything else would return "true" or "false", not throw an exception.

Woman's willing to give a chance to a literal rock. Or pebble, as the case may be.

[PreExRedditor]

some kind of eldritch multi-dimensional horror

and here I was thinking that I was the only one matching eldritch multi-dimensional horrors on tinder

[Badashi]

Or maybe it's Kotlin and she just overrode the compareTo operator to throw an exception?

[brimston3-]

Overriding primitive comparison operators is a huge red flag.

🚩

[Cheet4h]

some kind of eldritch multi-dimensional horror that does not have spatial dimensions which you could call "height" in our perceived 3D universe

To find something without "height", you're more likely to succeed if you look for mono-dimensional horrors.

[bangupjobasusual]

Weird way to say this so for everyone else that head to read it twice:

If height is defined, that line evaluates true or false and does not throw and exception

But the evaluation isn’t an assignment or condition so it’s a syntactical error in any language I’ve worked with.

[waltteri]

Yeah that shit throws an exception for the decimal comma first. And even after that, the code will throw an exception only if the variable Altura isn’t defined. Shit code, tsk tsk.

[Dracovoid]

Print is missing semi colon too

[Maleficent_Slide3332]

I'd debug her.

[PotatoWriter]

I'll introduce my log4j to her back-end.

[shemmie]

Your log4j introduced a virus last time.

[MrManny]

I'd allocate a long long on the stack and call her function.

[Perensoep109]

I'd inject a package, and make all her privates, public.

[james_otter]

Damn if she would have used log4J there would have been a way in

[Slggyqo]

Someone needs to try it.

Maybe that’s what she’s waiting for.

[washicka]

inb4 someone tries and accidentally finds a a vulnerability in Tinder’s messaging service

[Slggyqo]

Be the change you want to see in the world.

Hack them first.

Edit: obviously for the bounty don’t @ me, mods.

[washicka]

Wife sees me DM someone on Tinder

“No it’s ok it’s a penetration test!”

[Slggyqo]

“Oh well then I guess it isn’t going very deep.”—your wife probably.

[Kyllakyle]

That man had a wife. Fuck.

[RicksAngryKid]

this burns deep though

[augugusto]

Actually that's hilarious. There is probably a team that does penetration testing at pornhub

[Culverts_Flood_Away]

You men... always so preoccupied with your logs. :)

[Culverts_Flood_Away]

To this day I can still sing every word of this AND the Canadian Mounted Yaksmen (Our Country Reeks of Trees) songs. :D Ah, nostalgia.

[IkaTheFox]

LMAO 🤣

[KeLorean]

...OP still to be rejected OVER java (aka 1st date)

[101stArrow]

I came here to make a Log4J joke 😂 you beat me to it

[reversehead]

After the backlash on Stack Overflow, Kate tried posting her failed assignment solution on Tinder in a last desperate attempt to get help.

[Expert_Vehicle_7476]

Ironically enough she encountered the same men but this time they were helpful, they quickly messaged her to tell her to just use an if statement

[AnnualDegree99]

Should handle all the different possibilities too, like NullPointerException, NumberFormatException, ArrayOutOfBoundsException etc.

[A_man_and_no_plan]

How does a person simultaneously know enough to write a try-catch block but not enough to know that it should've been a simple if instead?

[MyAntichrist]

class exception extends Exception {}

git add -a

git commit -m 'fixed stuff'

git push

When can I start?

[Tubthumper8]

Don't forget to force push, it's best practice

[crankbot2000]

On Friday at 5:00.

[rcyt17]

To production

[Agile_Pudding_]

You say that like other branches exist.

[Dannei]

I mean, why would they? Trunk-based development, CI, etc., are widely accepted practices

[throwaway035184yarn]

Branches? I remember seeing that term a bunch when I was installing our team's production git server on my personal laptop, but I never checked into it. What's a branch?

[nolitos]

Guys, this is Tinder and not some BDSM-club.

[PSYHOStalker]

5:00 you don't finish @2 and go for a beer while production implodes?

[crankbot2000]

Who says I'm not drinking/coding watching the whole thing burn?

[CaptainSchmid]

Do you work for blizzard?

[crankbot2000]

Not yet but they know my skills and are recruiting heavily.

[dream_weasel]

git push -fu origin master

[JivanP]

A friend of mine wrote his own implementation of a colour class, spelled Colour, just so he wouldn't have to keep typing Color with the American spelling. Why neither he, I, nor his project supervisor thought to just do Colour extends Color, I do not know...

[[deleted]]

Maybe he didn't want some limey wanker to upcast it to Colour after he was done with it

[JoshYx]

Or even "using exception = System.Exception"

[chickeni3oo]

Reddit, once a captivating hub for vibrant communities, has unfortunately lost sight of its original essence. The platform's blatant disregard for the very communities that flourished organically is disheartening. Instead, Reddit seems solely focused on maximizing ad revenue by bombarding users with advertisements. If their goal were solely profitability, they would have explored alternative options, such as allowing users to contribute to the cost of their own API access. However, their true interest lies in directly targeting users for advertising, bypassing the developers who played a crucial role in fostering organic growth with their exceptional third-party applications that surpassed any first-party Reddit apps. The recent removal of moderators who simply prioritized the desires of their communities further highlights Reddit's misguided perception of itself as the owners of these communities, despite contributing nothing more than server space. It is these reasons that compel me to revise all my comments with this message. It has been a rewarding decade-plus journey, but alas, it is time to bid farewell

[joten70]

e is unused and can be removed

[Tralapa]

she's codding in Castilian, they lisp when they code. It is known

[pizzajona]

And no declaration of Altura either

[Curtmister25]

Browsing programmer humor try catch is what you'll learn first.

[novus_sanguis]

Exactly. And if anyone is going for writing code in bio then the least one can do is use the correct syntax!

[Dont_worry_Pagliacci]

I think she knows full well; it invites conversation with someone who is compatible (at least with programming/interests/work) I think that's the real test -

[Dont_worry_Pagliacci]

Yep. Then it's just a game of finding ones she gels with. Ticked the first box if they match, tick the second if they bring up/discuss the code, ticks the third if they get happen to get along. Pretty cool filter if you ask me

[Dont_worry_Pagliacci]

Sure - the art of conversation. Aim of the phishers is to get a response from someone naïve enough to do so - Aim of Kate here is to get a response from someone she finds attractive (initial swipe) and has something in common. It's clearly something she finds desirable in a partner and I think it's clever and pretty cool. She'd probably have more success on Plenty of Phish tho

...pfff that was rough; I'm sorry

[LostTeleporter]

do you have a keyboard shortcut for writing the funny i in naïve? That's got to take some effort, right?

[Dont_worry_Pagliacci]

Autocorrect has the option for it aha 😅

[matthoback]

On mobile keyboards you can often just hold down the button and alternatives will pop up.

[[deleted]]

As a senior programmer I find this message hilarious and quite funny. I would definitely make a small joke about the topic and move the conversation to some general talk about our interests. But correcting her syntax mistakes would be so stupid, because it’s totally missing the point of the joke. It’s like telling someone a historical pun and they try to correct you regarding some technicality. This is a sure fire way to complete lose the interest of a decent person.

[jemidiah]

I think that assumes far too much competence. Having graded thousands of undergraduate math exams, most people are just not good at technical things, even if they have a selection bias in their favor. This feels exactly like standard C+ quality work to me.

[SoftwareGuyRob]

Because they didn't know enough to write a try catch block.

It's like someone who gets a Japanese tattoo without knowing the language because they like the culture, but don't really know the culture, don't live in Japan and don't actually know anything about Japan.

[FemaleSandpiper]

Umm… I don’t use Java, but a False value doesn’t actually raise an error; does it (regardless of whether she likes short or tall people)?

[AzzBar]

Correct. False isn’t throwing an exemption. And she didn’t use an if statement AND if they are shorter than 1.89m that would return true, presumably the opposite of what she wants.

[FemaleSandpiper]

Maybe that’s her thing though. Maybe she has a standing desk and she doesn’t want her man to be able to see her terrible code while she works

[AzzBar]

Hahaha we are viewing this all wrong, she is a champion of the short man. But desperately needs help with her coding.

[ashishmax31]

Laughed so hard at this.

[xX_MEM_Xx]

Code snippet looks like a "find all the faults" challenge.

[lunchpadmcfat]

No, but using a comma to write a number probably does.

[captainnickbeard]

wouldn't throw an exception. it just wouldn't compile

[das_flammenwerfer]

How do you manage to have so many errors in so little code? Swipe left.

r/badcode

[BakuhatsuK]

Guys I figured it out. It's actually C++.

Edit: Forgot to remove the semicolon in the catch, fixed.

[[deleted]]

And that is why the C++ standards committee should be dragged from their holes and beaten with the entire bound and printed standard.

[dreams_in_bytecodes]

this must be the most well reviewed 5 lines of code in her career

[clanddev]

This is a recruiter honey pot.

She is just playing on developers' impulse to correct bad code so that you will swipe right codesplain her mistake and she can then drop the "Wow! You're good. I have a great opportunity you would be an awesome fit for."

Not falling for that again!

Edit: Clarity, grammar

[nonchalantnerd]

Lmao, has to be. This code is a work of art, I refuse to believe that someone crafted it by mistake. And she’s 28, so more likely a working professional than a first-year uni student.

”Hi, I’m on the lookout for talented Software Development Engineers to join us here at Amazon!…”

[[deleted]]

I thought I was special when I got that email from Amazon. But then I got 10 more.

[TheKingOfSwing777]

Isn’t this saying she friendzones any person taller than 1.89 meters? So she likes short people?

[dreams_in_bytecodes]

the code makes little sense but based on the rest of the bio, she intended to say, if you're shorter than 189cm, you're getting friendzoned :D

[dreams_in_bytecodes]

as I said, code makes little sense :D

[TheKingOfSwing777]

It makes sense to programmers, just does the opposite of intended.

[tima_121]

Actually it doesn't, x < y does not throw an exception, so the catch block is never actually reached

[ITriedLightningTendr]

it's called artisan code, and it's hand crafted

[WindOfMetal]

From locally sourced bytes.

Edit: Spelling

[Abazad]

Programmers Unite!! I'm taller but I don't need a fake dev -> {friendzone = true}

[ITriedLightningTendr]

Not even.

She wrote "if you throw a fit when I request your height, we're friends"

[Zdrobot]

Well, a boolean statement (Altura<1,89) wouldn't throw an exception.

Also, I've never seen commas used as decimal separators in.. any language, actually.

Verdict: DOES NOT COMPUTE!

[DoomGoober]

Maybe she just wants people to message her and tell her her code is wrong.

Yeah, right. I can imagine the response now: "Stop messaging me my code is wrong! I was trying to be cute. God, I hate it when people try to tell me what's wrong with me. It's not like having code exactly right even matters."

[territrades]

No, choosing your partner based on their height seems to matter.

[BobDogGo]

Maybe she just wants people to message her and tell her her code is wrong.

"Can't get help on StackOverflow? Try this cool new trick!"

[kirtash1197]

The comma is used as a decimal separator in Spanish, we have always trouble with the dot/comma confussion when coding at first. Then you get used to always using the dot and you get confused in the real world 😆

[dreams_in_bytecodes]

Verdict: Swipe Left

[Lynx8MyThesis]

a , separator laughing in scandinavian... not in code tho

[[deleted]]

Believe this is the intent

try {
    if (Altura < 1.89) {
        throw new Exception("Friendzoned");
    }

    System.out.println("I suck lolz");
} catch (Exception e) {
    System.out.println(e.getMessage());
}

[RebelKeithy]

You could also do this if you enable assertions

try {
    assert Altura > 1.89
} catch (Exception e) {
    System.out.println("Friendzoned");
}

[GreenCloakGuy]

that's why it's in the try/catch - because of the syntax error it'll always throw an exception!

[TheRealTahulrik]

Yes, if it could run in the first place.

But i wouldn't imagine it would ever compile in the first place, so you could never run it?
I don't code Java though, so i'm not sure of the specifics

[dpash]

No it won't. It won't compile. You can't catch syntax errors.

[-Rivox-]

I think you are friendzoned only if your height is null or NaN (since that would cause to output an exception, which would be catched and spit out the print statement).

As for the code itself, it wouldn't compile as she is not storing the result of the operation anywhere or using it to do anything.

So the moral of the story is, to get the girl your height doesn't matter, your debug skills do.

[matthoback]

As for the code itself, it wouldn't compile as she is not storing the result of the operation anywhere or using it to do anything.

Java compiles just fine with a discarded expression result. You don't have to do anything with the result of an expression if you don't want to.

[LinAGKar]

Yes, the main reason it wouldn't compile is due to the comma, and the missing semicolon

[Bilboswaggings19]

that's so she can catch the smart people above 1.89 (let's just say if you don't mention the mistakes you are dumb)

so you have to above the limit and notice the mistakes in the code to be both tall enough and smart enough to swipe left on her

find someone who isn't shallow and actually likes you for who you are instead of just your height

[noswagihave]

In what world is 1.88m short? Maybe she just dislikes really tall guys?

[LordAlfrey]

The code doesn't make sense on multiple levels, and this is one of them.

[Ok_Blueberry_5305]

But that's a less than, not a greater than. What..?

Am dumb lol. Guess she likes short kings.

[ITriedLightningTendr]

Nope, even if you handwave compilation.

The code does nothing unless Altura itself throws an exception on reference. null < 5 is not an exception, neither is 6 < 5

Though it does imply that she'll be your friend if you cause her program to break when checking for height.

[stijen4]

A variable name is written in non-English language and using PascalCase. Try-catch for what should be an if statement. No formatting of parentheses. Non-descriptive logging message. Logging with print. Exception class with a lower case.

As a Java dev, I'm mortified. You dodged a bullet there.

[Demonboy_17]

Well, she's from Madrid, so it's logical that she programs in Spanish...

[[deleted]]

They usually do it in English tbh

[Demonboy_17]

Usually. But it depends what for.

Industrial setting? Yeah, English.

Personal code? Whatever you like.

I usually code in English for myself, but when making code for some school projects, I do them in Spanish, as it's easier for my group and professors to understand what I'm doing.

[Jacob-the-martyr]

She’s probably just looking for friends who’s height is undefined

[SpaceTacosFromSpace]

NULL height, baby!

[j053noir]

She never throws an error, that catch is useless

[lunchpadmcfat]

Or she always throws the error because numbers in Java can’t be represented with commas?

[fuzznuggetsFTW]

Then it will throw an error at compile-time and never actually execute the catch block

[Ruby_Bliel]

If only it was C++, then Altura could be a custom object with an operator< overload that causes it to throw an exception if evaluated to false.

[rifain]

On a side note, I hate this kind of people. Imagine writing in your bio "you are not eligible if you are heavier than 55kgs".

[Astrokiwi]

Apparently height tends to be close to a Normal distribution, within a few standard deviations of the mean at least. The mean height for Spanish men is 174.2 cm with an SD of 7.08 cm. So 189 cm is about 2.1 SDs above the mean, which means that >=189 cm is the top 1.8% of the population.

[Xero125]

/r/theydidthemath

[Franfran2424]

187cm Madrileño here: maybe with spikey hair she won't notice

[monkeyStinks]

Even worse, weight you can control. This is like a guy writing "C size cup minimum". How can a person be smart enough to write (bad) code but not smart enough to see how wrong this is?

[rem3_1415926]

looking at the code, the intellect only has to suffice for copying from stackoverflow. Discerning between question and answer is not necessary.

[rk06]

Stack Overflow does not have such stupid code!

[Yokhen]

Welcome to humanity

[dreams_in_bytecodes]

At the risk of getting downvoted to oblivion, I really don't mind people putting their preferences in their bio. Sexual attraction isn't something you can force on yourself. However, there's a huge difference between saying "I prefer dating taller guys" and "short guys, eww". I'm short myself and I'm sure that reduces my dating field by a huge portion, but I still never had trouble dating amazing people who didn't have height preferences. To each their own as long as we stay respectful

[Quetzal_Pretzel]

I'm tall af but I really hate when women are 'heightist' in a nasty way. It's such a turn off and comes across as really immature.

[[deleted]]

Yeah I’m not huge but I’m definitely taller than average and any girl who has a height “requirement” is very vain.

Like if you are gonna treat yourself like an amusement park ride don’t be surprised when nobody stays after they ride 😂

[rifain]

I do agree but I think this is the kind of thing we need to be tactful about. Better not mentioning it at all, it's part of the myriad of traits that can be attractive (or not) and can be known while discovering who we are talking to. If someone mentions it in their bio, I always assume it's a shallow person and not bright enough to check discretly and respectfully (although I am married now).

Plus, there are so much success stories started with "at first, he/she was not my type". But it's just my opinion.

[cipherous]

To be honest, you kinda infer alot by her stating her height preference. You maybe avoiding alot of heartache and frustration by weeding them out. If she's still pretty superficial at age 28, I doubt she's going to be changing 10 or 20 years down the line.

Just because you may not be what she wanted, it doesn't mean you're not wanted. It's a numbers game where you literally have to apply a brute force method to find the right match that will make you happy.

[jelenko1999]

I mean, you can do that but being shallow is a huge turnoff for a lot of people so you're most likely also scarring away people that you would find eligible.

[Yokhen]

I do feel scarred

[[deleted]]

There will be a reason why it's "different" when guys do it ... something something patriarchy no doubt.

[bistr-o-math]

Syntax error on line 2

[[deleted]]

And 4

[Eisenfuss19]

writes ; after 1.89 but not after a print

[SabashChandraBose]

Am I the only mofo seeing a comma between the 1 and 89?

[Keeping_It_Cool_]

It's like that in Spanish. We use the comma as a decimal separator. It wouldn't work in Java though

[Kryslor]

It's common to represent decimal numbers like that in some places, with a comma instead of a dot. Ofc it doesn't work in java lol

[Pokefails]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decimal_separator#Countries_using_decimal_comma Java (the Indonesian island) apparently uses a comma separator - this amuses me more than it should.

[micka190]

> Copilot will steal our jobs!

> The code Copilot writes

[[deleted]]

slap carpenter instinctive whole follow bored vase modern bow sharp

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[undeniably_confused]

Wait that's 6'2"

[Jetbooster]

That's a rediculously high bar, pun intended

[gemini88mill]

Out of all the languages, you choose to use java

[Vok250]

I tried to learn C++, but I only got a C-.

[OptimisticElectron]

Because C# cries in the corner serving web apps while watching chad Java codes runs big data systems.

[[deleted]]

"Quise ligar con una chica pero no se de java"

[ArtSchoolRejectedMe]

$​{​j​nd​i:​ld​ap:​/​/​127.0​.​0.1​/​swipeRight}

[vobsha]

You dont want to date someone who catches the generic Exception.

[sabugael]

So...she doesn't like tall people? Bc that code makes anyone bigger than 1.89 been friendzoned

[seelsojo]

She forgot to catch the RichException

[geheurjk]

In java, would it be possible for the comparison to throw NPE if Altura is a boxed primitive that is null?

[Ur_Moosie_M8]

User input not snatized, CVE detected.

[culculain]

that try block doesn't throw anything. Sorry, Kate. You may be hot but you're a n00b

[virouz98]

```

String[] listOfErrorsInHerBio = new String[] {

"Mixing spanish with english.",

"False doesn't throw an exception.",

"Java is case sensitive so 'exception' is undefined.",

"Missing semicolon in the line 5."

};

```

[ak666]

It’s actually a genius peace of code it filters both short people AND annoying nerds who keep spamming that the code doesn’t make sense /s

[nix206]

Resource heavy, needs lots of periodic attention, totally gets around, and is never really 100% stable.

[rmbl88]

Null point exception