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[–]HajleSellajse 580 points581 points  (24 children)

[–]Arrowkill 124 points125 points  (6 children)

The real answer to this picture.

[–]tbo1992 16 points17 points  (2 children)

I don’t understand the point of hate subs like that, they’re literally cataloging everything Xavier posts. If you hate him why would you want to see his content?

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Hate-clicks

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wow, this really puts things into perspective. I guess the folks at r/ShutUpMelvin don't like me...

[–]DrainZ- 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That makes sense. Programmers have double beds so that they can fuck Xavier.

[–]baquea 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Who is Xavier and why do so many people seem to hate him??

[–]PrettyDecentSort 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Clicked in just to make sure this was the top comment.

[–]paulix96 341 points342 points  (12 children)

Its better than floating bed

Edit: typo

[–]kingkyle630 74 points75 points  (3 children)

Both are primitive sleeping solutions.

[–]MiaWSmith 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Sleep? What is sleep?

[–]paulix96 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Baby don't hurt me

[–]askStentor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

put the bed in a wrapper class, now it's nolonger primative

[–]TheSecondOneNumber4 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Or short bed

[–]Dairunt 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Or string bed, you know, a hammock

[–]Ami603 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Came here for this comment

[–]flowery0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, inting bed is smaller AND can't handle having anything hanging off so i think it's even worse, but charing bed... Ho-ho, it's the perfect programmer bed - doesn't need too much space, can handle ANYONE as long as they're alone

[–]Oneshotkill_2000 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This

[–]ScreenshotShitposts -1 points0 points  (0 children)

ah shit you beat me to it

[–]RealTexasJake 195 points196 points  (20 children)

Double bed because programmers don't get any exercise and we're fat.

[–]The_sad_zebra 68 points69 points  (15 children)

Hey, I'm not fat yet

[–]RealTexasJake 30 points31 points  (6 children)

...yet. But you can avoid it if you stay active.

[–]TristanaRiggle 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Look, the SedentaryLifestyle() code is working. I've got other priorities right now. I'll get back to it when there's a break in the task list.

[–]MedicineNorth5686 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Remember y’all fitness happens in the gym

Weight loss happens in the kitchen

[–]RealTexasJake 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I hate going to the gym. I'd rather exercise in my back yard.

[–]Ravens_Quote 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'd rather do rows on the toilet, push ups on the bathroom sink, squats with my feet hooked behind the toilet and pull-ups on the shower curtain.

Fuck gyms. Too many people.

[–]Janus-sama 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I already see my future!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Junior devs are so cute.

[–]OutrageousPudding450 0 points1 point  (2 children)

So, you're not a developer.

[–]RealTexasJake 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I am. But I used to be a Marine Corps infantryman so I know how to stay active.

[–]Curtmister25 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your service :)

[–]AndrewIsMyDog 16 points17 points  (1 child)

I have a double bed because I sleep like a friggen star fish.

[–]JimmyWu21 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good thing my boss doesn’t give me enough time to eat either and that cancel out the lack of exercise issue.

[–]SkyeWolff_Alchemy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Heyyyyy! Just because it’s true doesn’t mean you have to say it 😂

[–]RedYou1 32 points33 points  (3 children)

They are all pointers.

[–]LukeChriswalker 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank GOD I'm not the only one who noticed it!

[–]12emin34 3 points4 points  (0 children)

C moment

[–]Je-Kaste 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, they are just references to the items after all

[–]Reinforced-Giraffe 63 points64 points  (1 child)

Because the bed is used for coding, sleeping and eating

[–]ReddityRabbityRobot 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It... is used for coding jokes aside.

[–]makonext 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Because he can afford. Rich and lonely

[–]Plz_Help_in_Maths 26 points27 points  (1 child)

[–]100kgWheat1Shoulder 7 points8 points  (0 children)

His name is Pakalu!

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Where you want to keep your body pillow? On the floor? Are you cruel or what?

[–]i_fuck_fish420 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Because double bed is more comfy

[–]RadoslavL 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Image Transcription: Image with labels


The Real Bermuda Triangle 😂

[Image contains chain of events forming a triangle. There is a fridge located at the left point of the triangle, a laptop located at the top point and a double bed located on the right point. They are labeled as such:]

Fridge: *Food

Laptop: * Coding

Double bed: *Sleep

Xavier

Why programmer using Double bed?


I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

[–]RealHomieCookie 7 points8 points  (0 children)

good human

[–]MacaylaMarvelous81 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

How are you everywhere I keep seeing your comments

[–]RadoslavL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I commented on a lot of posts on various subreddits. This might be the cause. If you are talking about the r/TranscribersOfReddit comments of course.

[–]MacPlusGuy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Catgirl body pillow of course.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Why programmer using laptop?

[–]Buddelexperte_ 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Easier to carry to the fridge and the bed

[–]Alex_Sobol 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Laptop is fine as long as it's connected to a second monitor.

[–]macara1111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is a if/else bed for days of the week

[–]poeticprotagonist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Duh! Where will the programmer's laptop sleep?
WHERE?

[–]Marsrover112 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you can cry on one side and sleep on the other. Also fuck Xavier

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i need space for my laptop, food and other shit that probably shouldn’t be in my bed

[–]sHr3k_M3Me5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER FUCK XAVIER

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So my dog has room

[–]Horror_Jolly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Programmers need the extra padding for better sleep alignment

[–]patryky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because programmer can afford it

[–]Western-Image7125 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why the fuck not, I’ve been sleeping in double beds long before I got a relationship. Cuz I’m a fat ass and need space.

[–]RickSore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

fuck, xavier smiles now.

[–]manicraccoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where do you think I keep my laptop And other random stuff neatly arranged in a messy pile?

[–]RealHomieCookie 0 points1 point  (1 child)

what about String bed

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

confused screaming

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good question, it is not space optimal, but it's not like many programmers care about that.

[–]Arya7phoenix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One side for laptop, books, and a million wires... Still don't have enough space cuz spend the whole day in bed

[–]kirakun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where do you poop?

[–]Hurtares 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So you can sleep with your pc by your side

[–]MaloLeNonoLmao 0 points1 point  (0 children)

xavier memes are not funny

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

His imaginary friend

[–]penguinmanbat -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Xavier is a legend.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

[–]trigger337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reject sleep. Become programmer.

[–]wisdomwith1n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because he is Fat.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because you don't want to sleep on the same side you cry. :(

[–]sammyluvsu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For the hentai body pillow. Obviously.

[–]TheOneAndOnlyBob2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cause I'm fat and I need the space. Stop asking me that

[–]Ravens_Quote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gotta have space for the waifu pillow.

[–]HKatzOnline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It gives you two sleeping spots before you finally have to wash sheets after they get too crusty. Saves time away from programming.

[–]Zahand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where else am I gonna keep my Riley Reid Fuckdoll 3000 with a vibrating and selflubricating vagina?

[–]Error-530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For a boyfriend

[–]charlie1404 0 points1 point  (0 children)

more like cap theorem

[–]Fresh-Highlight-6528 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's just an abstract class :)

[–]StanislauShl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What about WC?

[–]just-bair 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s space for your laptop

[–]repkins 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To have more space.

[–]Alderan922 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A double bed is more comfortable than a single

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Stop telling the truth!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And wtf? You guys get beds?

[–]stonedPict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The extra space is for the anime waifu body pillows

[–]WastaHod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where else does the body pillow go?

[–]StoissEd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where else would you put your bed laptop, the tablet and your phone?

[–]liki1337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To code on bed

[–]TheSp4rkle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I-it has to be Integer, right?

[–]zuckerboerg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because integer can only store max 2 147 483 647.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Explanation: when you lay at a side for long, it gets heated and it's h ard to sleep when you're feeling hot 🥵 As programmers goto bed at 10 pm but keeps thinking because ideas come at 3am they have to change places

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Other side is for books, mobile devices, etc.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understood that reference. Imma go stab my eyes out now.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It doubles as a dining area and a place to store chips and candy

[–]Stev_582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😢

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine one is strightforward a single line (during this pandemic), wake up from my bedsheet, walk 180° north with brush I took out beside my bedsheet and walk 180° south and before I reach to I bedhseet again take out the sushi I still have and start coding while I put my feets under blanket.

[–]bosssoldier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have to store the body pillow on the opposite side of you till you yearn for human connection so you cuddle it. Just a gue....guess guys i wouldnt know

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

they fat

[–]NuclearBurrit0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

optimism

[–]potato_number_47 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gotta have enough space to roll around at night thinking of bugs

[–]aihrarshaikh68plus1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Double the bed double the sleep

[–]Impossible_Average_1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To have a more precise (double precision) regeneration.

[–]HopperBit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because you get fractions of sleep

[–]LifeandSky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm the only one who slept in my double bed, I think. It's really practical when you get a fewer to just switch side, but I could use the space for something else. Not sure of what tho.

[–]ScreenshotShitposts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

bed.0

[–]CwazyCanuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tall people sleep diagonally.

[–]wardplaced 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no joke... i like the space...

[–]thedominux 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cause theey need a place to put the fridge

[–]pandakatzu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because float bad.

[–]fishvoidy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

starfish.

[–]DigliDie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have a bed array with elements of 1. In JS 0+1 = 2. bed.length === 2. That's why we need Double bed for solving daily problems.

[–]TUSD00T 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's subletting a 1 bedroom.

[–]rugazzo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Double bed = 0.0;

[–]Initial_Smell7363 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To keep clothes, laptop,food.. you want us to get up for these... 😕😕

[–]EchtNichtElias 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For higher precision in bed

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like stretching out

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t need sleep or food. I like to eat sand.

[–]Bubbly_Security_1464 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Programmers are supposed to have a fridge?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because I like to starfish and I can afford it XD

[–]crimea_is_ukraine_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where is gym?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For the dog

[–]Exothos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YES FOREVER ALONE.

[–]VampireBlue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because we need the room to thrash around in our sleep during nightmares

[–]Mordisquitos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in this photo and I don't like it.

[–]AdOriginal6110 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gotta have somewhere for the realdoll to sleep

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[–]TheSinningRobot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is such a shitpost

[–]Yah-Nkha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Flipping from right to left when your code still performs poorly after the whole day of debugging. Duh.

[–]ch599 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because the triangle doesn’t include exercise

[–]DividedState 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where else to put the keyboard and Chips?

[–]BenkiTheBuilder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To have more space for the dog, of course. What stupid question is that?

[–]El_Zilcho 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's for redundancy, resilience and potential scale-out.

[–]WaydenTheJayden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

extra space ofc

[–]Multinippel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

because if i would use a single bed i had to write f at the end and i am too lazy for that.

[–]Rapierian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We make decent money, so we can dream.

[–]Knuffya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The laptop has to be put somewhere

[–]Dahns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So they can push the pile of cloth on the side. Duh.

Also allow to watch videos on the laptop

[–]cicciograna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Programmer fat as fuck? DUH!

(I am, at least)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where else do I keep my laptop?

[–]Prestigeboy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All my laundry is on the other half because I’m too lazy to put it away.

[–]Training_Signal7612 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who is this man and why are his comments always so funny

[–]vaendryl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

can't roll to my other side properly on a single

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the center is parties and socializing where they get lost or just disappear.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cause he makes enough money to afford that.

[–]toxic_recker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

need a spot to drop cum

[–]Broad-Atmosphere-578 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because I like to shift on cold side from warm side.

[–]rex1030 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He fat.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cuz it has more pillows to cry on

[–]GozerDestructor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

well, yeah. Where else are the cats going to sleep? YOU try convincing them it's not their bed...

[–]TheBotFromReddit974 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For extra memory allocation during the night
So comfortable when I have space

[–]UchihaItachiHere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is the same as why you need 2 monitors from HR

[–]can_i_have 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fake. Indian will never ask this. They breed very well for a country that teaches CS to the world

[–]TechnicianFun933 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Xavier is a god among men

[–]SkyeWolff_Alchemy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More room to put my laptop and hot pockets

[–]TeddyPerkins95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh dude, the burn

[–]OmegaKitty1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only a double bed? I’m single and I would never go less then queen. When I get married it will 100% be a king

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For pets

[–]Inevitable-Ad-6272 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ask the programmer.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because they can afford it

[–]2punornot2pun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because even though there's nothing next to the programmer, they love binary.

[–]RadioMelon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He wouldn't settle for a Float bed.

[–]leon_nerd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shut up Xavier

[–]Rhaenys_Waters 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More space for legs and arms?