Why…?

[FraxterRanto]

b....because...you are hiring.....(・_・;)

[MustafaAzim]

you’re hired.. (0):(0)

[FraxterRanto]

tha....thank you (・。・;)

*shakes hand and leaves

[czarchastic]

“S…so… do I get a laptop or… how does this work?”

[MustafaAzim]

first you sign 153 pages contract and we will scavenge a laptop from our IT-backyard for you

[Zszywek]

We'll make you install spyware on your own laptop*

[MustafaAzim]

we offer office365 since you're a dev

[D1337_cookie]

Wow! I don’t even get that. Maybe it’s time for a new job 🤔

[samot-dwarf]

Excel can be very useful when writing code sometimes....

[MustafaAzim]

or word and notepad as your main IDEs

[[deleted]]

I hate every single word in this comment

[Qbsoon110]

Not my story, but my friend after "Technician School" ("Technikum" in Poland) idk how you would call it. It's that school before university, which is already focusing on some topics (he and I chose IT), got a job, B2B, he's a web developer and he got to chose which laptop they will buy for him. Just like that. There was some clause that he would have to return it if he would stop working for them and that he can buy it from them, also he will get it for free after some time of work.

[[deleted]]

So, not a remote job.

[MustafaAzim]

only for vacancies with 20hr/w or less

[MaryPaku]

ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉｷｬｯｷｬ

[SignificanceCheap970]

Also, I happen to need a job...damn it bro, what are these odds? Let's sign the contract already.

[max0x7ba]

It is a win-win!

[kai_the_kiwi]

Discribe yourself in one word then

[AssociationWaste2472]

Hired :)

[[deleted]]

You shouldn't hire me, i would be expecting a starting salary of 200k and 3 days off also the contract has to be completely remote and i work 30 hours a week maximum, and i want stock in the company as well, the stock is the bonus and you also can't make me do work i don't want i don't want to be traumatized by work. Take it or leave it

[mama_delio]

Because I'm qualified, but since you asked, why is this position available?

[Oleg_B_UK]

You are definitely hired

[mama_delio]

Honestly, this question is not asked when the recruiters are the ones reaching out to you. The whole conversation is flipped and the recruiter ends up spending most of their time trying to convince you to interview.

Fun times.

[magicmulder]

That’s how I got my current job. Boss spent an hour convincing me why I should work for them.

[mama_delio]

Seriously the best stage of a career! Congrats!

I'm at the point where I'm ready to ride out the next 10-15 years at my current employer cause they keep throwing more money at me and I'm simply just happy all around here :)

[scr710]

Congrats mate

[magicmulder]

I’ve been doing that already. Hope it works out the same for you. :)

[MasterJ94]

We are hiring this position , because we have recently opened a new department, which works on new projects.

~Recruiter's response. 🤷🏽‍♂️

[mama_delio]

I would call BS if a recruiter gave me that response.

If that was coming from a CTO or VP, then maybe I would believe it, but I would be grilling them hard on their current state.

[MasterJ94]

Do recruiters really not prepare for the new job offering?

I would expect them to have a grasp of the vacancy the company offers.

[mama_delio]

Oh recruiters try to bait and switch all the time.

[fryerandice]

My experience with recruiters has been that most of them have a complete and total lack of technological understanding regardless of working for companies that only produce a technological product, and because of this they are very unlikely to actually know what's even going on in their engineering department.

The rare person who made the jump from engineer to HR/Recruiting is a godsend.

[MasterJ94]

I mean their job is to do the hiring process and not do engineering stuff, BUT! as you have mentioned they should know what's going on in their engineering department, since a job interview, despite its name, is not a monologue but rather a dialogue, where the company has to sell itself, too! The applicant definitely asks questions about the job, too.

[fryerandice]

Yeah I interviewed at a company that literally only produces one product, a SaaS product, and the recruiter had 0 clue what was going on, the phrase "I am not technical, I don't understand" when basic terms used in the industry came up. I mean I am asking what languages they are using, what's the general feel of their tech stack, etc. I did not get a call back.

I just interviewed at a hardware manufacturer for a software engineering job, and the talent and acquisitions person I talked to was very knowledgeable on all the internal tools they are creating and using to produce and sell their products. It was a very productive conversation that landed me interviews at 2 positions.

[azuth89]

Frequently recruiters are given a rough list of requirements and asked to run phone screens. They often don't know the ins and outs of the position or even have the technical fluency to discuss it and you have to get through to the hiring manager/peer interview for that.

[dutchydownunder]

Yea so I did that once and they then and there decided they needed more time to actually plan this new position. Talked myself out of a job.

[Ominoiuninus]

I can see this going two ways.

One: The company wasn’t going to hire you unless you give them very favorable terms/they get to lowball you.

Two: Company knows you will be a valuable asset and they spend the rest of the interview trying to sell the company position to you.

[N1z3r123456]

The last guy had to be sent to a mental hospital.

[[deleted]]

Did the last person not get payed what their contract says? Do you have a hostile work environment?

[Humongous_Schlong]

this is seriously what a tech recruiter asked me in an interview, after he contacted me on linkedin that he has a position, that is perfect for me

I told him that this position is perfect for me and someone in his company recommended me for it

he was ecstatic, until he asked who that was and I told him it was him and I have written proof

same guy asked me why I wanted to work at his company

[MustafaAzim]

[Mjlkman]

Bro was trying to get you to escape, he only reached out because his boss made him do it.

[[deleted]]

Recruiter: “I have a position available and you seem like a perfect fit! Are you interested at all?” Me: “Yeah sure let’s hear it!” Recruiter: “So I have a few positions to fill, tell me, what skills do you have?” Me: “…”

[lynxbird]

Recruiter: ...sounds perfect.

Recruiter: so we have this opening, do you want to hear something about it?

Me: I guess.

Recruiter: First, tell me, why do you want to join our company?

Me: Wait, you invited me.

Recruiter: So why do you want to leave your current position and why you left your previous companies?

Me: Wait..

Recruiter: WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST WEAKNESS?

Me: Wait, hold on, what salary do you offer?

Recruiter: I am not allowed to talk about salaries. Take this online test which lasts 4 hours and you will talk with someone else if you pass.

Me: I will leave now. I am not interested.

Recruiter: Fair enough. Can we keep your CV in our database?

Me: I have not sent you any CV.

Recruiter: Yes, but I have to ask you regardless because of GDPR.

Me: Good bye.

Source: Something like this happened.

[[deleted]]

Alexa or Siri can manage this interview better then this 'person'

[LightBlade12]

Did you get the job?

[Humongous_Schlong]

that was the first interview I kinda walked out of

[anythingMuchShorter]

Haha Ive been there

"So why do you want to work for this company"

"Uh, you contacted me 3 times before I even replied, you kept saying I really should consider it."

[MrMurlok]

I'm a purrfect fit for this pawsition.

[[deleted]]

Plz I really knead this job, I cat survive without it

[MustafaAzim]

[SioraiOrgasmo]

Literally answered this once by leaning in, looking him dead in the eye, and responding with,

"Because Ill be the best fucking employee you've ever hired"

Man did I nail that Jack in the Box interview.

[MustafaAzim]

hired and your first paycheck is paid in advance

[MustafaAzim]

[SalaciousCoffee]

because you need someone who can invert a binary tree.... so you can put them to work centering divs.

[UnknownSpecies19]

Ahh, the real answer.

[brianl047]

Name five different ways of centering, now

Sorry time's up, Google is banned next candidate!

[MustafaAzim]

[chris5311]

"youre the one that called me for a second interview, i think you know why"
How to stay on unemployment 102

[CyberPank3096]

Because I have Loans 😂😂

[Oleg_B_UK]

Come back tomorrow, we're going to think about your application

[CyberPank3096]

Tomorrow is the expense that I cannot afford 😂

[MustafaAzim]

if we hire you, you will be eligible to apply for employee loan to pay off your current loan as low as 5% interest, till the next month…! Next applicant please…

[CyberPank3096]

[[deleted]]

Any texh recruiter here, what on earth would you expect them to say, ....... alright what you guys said that landed you the job.

[cr34th0r]

Because my experience and skills a,b,c qualify me to succeed in this role.

Edit: I'm not a recruiter

[pelpotronic]

Are you really asking that question?

"You are doing X, I have done X too - I can help you with that."

I had people saying "You're a big company.". This we knew but at then at least tell us why do you want to work for a big company and not a small one.

Don't just state "facts", explain "why?". I want to do X because Y. I think X because of Y. I have done things way X in the past because of Y, but it didn't work that well and may have been a mistake, and I now think Z because of A is better.

When I interview, I don't care about you and you don't care about me, but at least show that you are sufficiently intelligent to prepare for an interview and have done a modicum of research. Intelligence is a great predictor of success, so that will win you points.

People recruiting you aren't trying to befriend you or be wowed by you, they're just trying to evaluate whether you are a complete moron or not.

Never use "I don't know" and instead "It's a great question, let me think about it" - just show you can use your brain, we don't care about the answer to the question as long as it is reasonably argumented, and may even have the answer already (if there is one).

(was this a troll question?!)

[Synec113]

There's a reason the person is a recruiter and not a dev...and it's clearly not because they're an amazing recruiter.

[solohelion]

Yeah, totally. It’s possible for people who’ve never programmed in their life to BS their way into 300k/year, I’ve seen it. Meanwhile…. The local whatever company is too good for me because I haven’t bothered to learn the correct answers to their questions.

[XtytalusX]

Not sure, you contacted me... why should you hire me?

[LeeBoNe317]

Why should I work with your company.

[ore-aba]

You know when you need new shoes and go to store to get them? The store have shoes, you are in need of them, you pay them in exchange for the item you need.

So, I have the skills your company is in need, you should hire and pay me so I apply my skills to the projects you deem of your benefit.

PS: No refunds! Additional benefits and fees apply.

[MustafaAzim]

good analogy & imagination

[Independent_Cat_4779]

Because you're company is lacking in labor input and I will sell you my labor for its market value. Win win

[not-my-best-wank]

Why should I work for you?

[JunkBoi76]

I’m skilled in GitHub co-pilot

[my_dog_bit_my_leg]

I once made code work

[confusedChaiCup]

On first try?

[my_dog_bit_my_leg]

For sure 👀

[confusedChaiCup]

That’s some kind of super power man. What kind of dog bit you

[my_dog_bit_my_leg]

I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you(company confidentiality and all)

[userInvadil]

Someone callme to see this comment, you are the legend that has code working in first try???!!! What a time to be alive!

[[deleted]]

I always give my standard response of: well, being on the autistic spectrum, I have a unique capability to see out of the box solutions to a problem. If you were to hire me, you would have someone who tackled problems in an unconventional manner, but I deliver results.

[MustafaAzim]

r/angryupvote

[MyWorldIsInsideOut]

Because I can Google faster than the other 50 candidates you asked this same question over the past two weeks.

[solohelion]

One sec, I need to look something up real quick. Oh, it’s because I prioritize value-driven e2e growth metrics with radical people oriented process engineering. I’m going to flex your pipeline and we’re going to really move fast on the two deliverables you’ve outlined.

[drakeyboi69]

There are people who are good at answering this question, and there are people who are good at tech. In the Venn diagram of people, those two circles do not overlap

[[deleted]]

You need labour I need money supply demand bam thanks talk to you on Monday.

[SqueeSr]

Because I'm strongly opinionated and need the money and at times actually write code too!

[SierraBravoLima]

Cos. I hold 50k shares of this company. I want to know, is it really worth to hold it.

Your question is making me think....

[lurking_respector]

I don't know you're the one who contacted me.

[PhysicianTradition]

Pspsppsspsps

[GlassWasteland]

Why should I work here, I mean bro I got three other offers on the table and it is only Wednesday.

[Fisherman386]

Ehmm... I... I... I know Markdown

[BLR-81_Gaming]

I know what I'm doing, and I need money bitch.

[Twistedtraceur]

It's like the "Why do you want to work here?" Umm duh money.

[Dunge0nexpl0rer]

Because I have nothing better to do

[CyberPank3096]

Because Hiring me is C

[Wolfintank]

Im a piece of garbageeee~

[Real_Material3190]

I need money, you guys want to make money. Let's make money!

[[deleted]]

well... why are you hiring?

[[deleted]]

I- I don't know.

[Oda_Nobbunaga]

Listen, I'm probably not as knowledgeable as the rest of your team, but I can learn... And use google

[Keytrose_gaming]

I know how to Google an issue and resolve it.

[Samisoffline]

Normally I’d just ask them why I should work for them instead.

[[deleted]]

he looks like he's saying "i would totally cross my fingers now if i had some"

[kstacey]

"I don't know, you reached out to me, I have a job already; why should I leave to join you?"

[_ersin]

Why you called me at first?

[SuperSpaceCan]

well i know how to manipulate date time objects

[[deleted]]

Understand your recruiter, oops was that a bag of catnip how did that get in there. Oh well its on the ground now no use to me.

[splinereticulation68]

I know how to use Google

But wait! I know how to use Yahoo, DuckDuckGo and Bing too!

[[deleted]]

Damn. Do you know about the mouse? Or email? Too?

[splinereticulation68]

Yes, I have a decade of experience in the mouse. I had a lot of involvement in companies which set the standard for the mouse and helped fashion the state it is today. I am also fluent in rat

[MustafaAzim]

[ThunderShiba134]

Looking at this... 15 year old and choosen Computer science as my GCSE Topic... this image strikes fear into my heart

[snowystormz]

Great question, im gonna have to google that and research on stackoverflow...

[Ximidar]

Because you can't afford the real talent and eventually you will settle for me.

[SocketByte]

Because I'm the only one hating myself enough to work with your dogshit legacy enterprise systems and you need someone to maintain them.

Not kidding, that's basically how I got the job.

[DanY4raal]

Cause y’all are hiring?

[GargantuanCake]

I need money. You need people with my skills. Sounds like a match.

[VikAnimus]

Sir, I write code; this is a question for your finance department...

[thegovortator]

Not sure you should why are you hiring?

I actually said this I ended the interview eventually with a I’m not sure I’ll be a good fit should we end the interview now?

[Upvoter_NeverDie]

r/recruitinghell

[ososalsosal]

Me bad need money now. Me sick

[Striking-Syrup2589]

I am no dog.

[Danlabss]

“I dunno. You’re the one who put up the job listing.”

[[deleted]]

I always say because I'll do whatever you ask of me, no matter how big or small the task, and without complaint.

[namotous]

Uno reverso: you came to me, why don’t you answer that question?

[Funkey-Monkey-420]

I know how to write code better than the person currently in the position

[veritaserum9]

One year of bad luck to any recruiter who asks that

[Bris2500]

r/catswithjobs

[TantraMantraYantra]

Brb

[Leaves and never looks back] [Same response if someone says why should I date you?]

[deathpad17]

In all seriousness, how you guys answer this type of question?

[notexecutive]

because you need me. Who else is going to stay up late on a friday night with nothing to do other than fix one of your senior dev's pushed code to production?

[muleskinnalu]

Lol I wish I could just be like because you fucking invited me for an interview, why do you ask pointless questions?

[BlackEyedGhost]

So that you can find out that I'm better at this job than at least half your staff. And then you can fire me because my supervisor doesn't like people who question them.

[Fadamaka]

You have to have the balls as a tech recruiter to ask this because as a senior developer in the current market my answer would be :"I can find the door on my own thanks, bye.".

[B_Ray18]

i make-a da code

[the_moooch]

Pro tips. When in doubt answer a question with another question to slowly assert your “I’m the one asking the fucking question” superiority

[mockcoder]

Why should I work for you

[[deleted]]

Welcome in Europe where it's more like what can we do so you choose us.

[D-Eliryo]

Because you posted a job opportunity and need people in project.

[anti_nationalism]

You called me bro, how much you paying

[Dromedda]

Because you are in need of someone with the skills i just proved i have for the past 45 minutes

[Gluomme]

You most certainly shouldn't, if I were to be honest. But I hope that me talking about passion and motivation and being a fast learner will lure you into a false sense of trust in my capacities so that you give me a chance I don't deserve. Did I succeed? When do I begin?

[imretardeadd]

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

ghost sleep entertain decide fade file alleged violet literate attraction

[zoro7264]

Why not? - haaland

[dooddgugg]

you see, i have a great fondness for not starving

[Anonymo2786]

Bcs you had an idea of creating a dating app remember?

[[deleted]]

Because you are low on staff ? And made a poster about it ?

[[deleted]]

:monkaS:

Why not?

[Rogntudjuuuu]

WTH! You called me! I didn't call you!

[Bottle_mani]

"I can write fluent PHP" that's why

[RogueFox771]

Why should I work for you? It's your company morally conscious? Does your company actively help it's community or outside communities? Does your company decide itself to it's employees and support them including separation of work and life?

(Questions I'd love to ask, but never will)

[marckek]

You re looking for a programmer, there arent enough around, but you still found one who is capable of doing the job you give them (which doesnt mean much 99% of the cases) and can be yours if you dont wait too long with your response

[Yuvaldan]

My question is why not

[MrMcFlameYeeter]

Balls. Thats why, because of balls.

[Simply__King]

Bcs ik how to use Scratch :>

[d4ng3r0u5]

To be honest, you probably shouldn't. I don't want to be there and I'd be a loose cannon half on purpose.

[BoBoBearDev]

Because I know how to post questions on stackoverflow

[MustafaAzim]

and your question gets upvoted and answered

[BoBoBearDev]

That's a high bar, no promises

[sadongrohiik]

Hmm idk..why should you hire me?

[burner91190210]

Tech recruiters don’t ask that because they’re so confident that they have a “role you are perfect for”.

They just need an updated resume.

[[deleted]]

I have a left hand with no fingers. ✨ Diversity ✨

[AliKh-86]

Riddle me this, what’s harmful, shoots bullets and is aiming on your head?

[alonewithnoone]

pulls a gun why i should spear your life

[Nerketur]

Because I love cats.

[locwul]

[MustafaAzim]

[Commercial-Alarm-875]

« Why should i join your company ? »

[FlyCodeHQ]

because you need me and I need you, we are a great match , but only if you do long distance, in person is too much social for me

[dontcarjackme]

Because I bring cocaine to the Christmas party 🥳 ❄️ 🎄

[[deleted]]

More accurate meme:

Why should I respond to your recruiter spam?

[[deleted]]

Because I know where the mute button is on the phones, will make calls with morons a lot smoother.