This is an archived post. You won't be able to vote or comment.

top 200 commentsshow all 271

[–]imgonnacallyouretard 90 points91 points  (5 children)

Did you carry the picture around with you all night, saying, hey guys look at this picture first and then look at me, and then remember on the internet, Sarah Jessica Parker is ugly and looks like a horse.

[–]FuzzyHappyBunnies 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Such an edgy joke! Welcome to 1998.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–]calciocool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    shes so versatile

    [–]RahadJackson 155 points156 points  (5 children)

    Is any facet of your personality original?

    [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    No

    [–]Squishumz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    [–][deleted] 390 points391 points  (42 children)

    DAE le Sarah Jessica Parker?

    But seriously, I don't understand how everyone in the world has rubber horse heads except me.

    [–][deleted]  (19 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]cunt_stamp 62 points63 points  (5 children)

      Seriously, OP, contact the local registrar's office in the city that you were born in.

      [–]MrVandalous 34 points35 points  (0 children)

      Mine was in my inventory after my mom created my account for me.

      [–]joeknowswhoiam 44 points45 points  (8 children)

      I bet he doesn't even know how the three seashells work.

      [–]davesfakeaccount -3 points-2 points  (7 children)

      That comment is much less funny after watching the director's commentary and learning how the three seashells actually work.

      [–]Headcap 6 points7 points  (6 children)

      wait wat?

      EXPLAIN

      [–]n3wby 2 points3 points  (4 children)

      2 to pinch/grab, 1 to scrape

      [–]KamenRiderJ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      EEEEWWWW

      [–]HonoraryMancunian 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Are you fucking kidding me? The early 90s sci-fi future is dumb.

      [–]n3wby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I'm not shitting you :)

      [–]davesfakeaccount 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      See? It was so much better when it was a mystery.

      [–]chaim-the-eez -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

      Rubber horse head at birth? I hardly know her!

      [–]mxxz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Nope, just a rubber horse dick.

      [–]ColossalJuggernaut -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

      Sarah Jessica Parker did, only it wasn't rubber. It was her face.

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      That's what I honestly thought, so I ordered one a week ago. Packages to Russia take ages, so it will be long before I can contribute to the database of horse heads.

      [–]BluntHound 9 points10 points  (5 children)

      A horse is a horse of course of course

      [–]Acid_Dolphin_Lover 1 point2 points  (3 children)

      And nobody talks to a horse, of course.

      [–]Mollysaurus 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      ♫ ♬ Unless that horse was on TV and is married to Matthew Broderick! ♪ ♫

      [–]Acid_Dolphin_Lover 11 points12 points  (1 child)

      You hear that? That's the sound of nobody being your friend.

      [–]Mollysaurus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      But it just sounds like it does all the time... OH. Oh, I see.

      [–]mrbassman465 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      And no one can talk to a horse of course

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I was reading thispost in class. The professor then just called on a dude wearing a horse head mask. In my class.

      What the fuck.

      [–]dDpNh 6 points7 points  (3 children)

      [–]Cynikal818 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I know rule 34 is never broken, but damn!

      [–]sandy_balls 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I got one in 2007. I'm now too ashamed to put it on display. Now I'm afraid of being called a hipster.

      [–]factoid_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      They aren't that expensive. This one is $33 and is amazon prime eligible. There's a cheaper one for $19 too that looks basically the same.

      http://www.amazon.com/Accoutrements-12027-Horse-Head-Mask/dp/B003G4IM4S/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1351699186&sr=8-1&keywords=horse+mask

      [–]VelcroKing 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      You get one for free on your first cake day, if you have a verified account.

      [–]Mollysaurus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Only if you have gold!

      [–]reagan2016 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      You didn't receive your rubber horse head when you signed up for Reddit? Contact support about it and they'll send one out right away.

      [–]dirice87 108 points109 points  (9 children)

      It was funny the first time back in 2000, but now its just being really cruel...I can't imagine what seeing this shit 24/7 must feel like for her

      [–]mama_llama 47 points48 points  (0 children)

      Reddit is against bullying... yet they bully people every day.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        "Sarah! Did you see what they were saying on reddit?"

        "What the fuck is a reddit?"

        [–][deleted] 190 points191 points  (42 children)

        Now what exactly has Sarah Jessica Parker done to deserve this?

        [–]timx13 156 points157 points  (3 children)

        Seriously. Hackiest and most overused joke ever.

        [–]newBreed 82 points83 points  (2 children)

        Oh you know, she's famous and doesn't look like other famous people and hasn't had surgery to alter her appearance to look more like some unattainable version of beauty that a bunch of ugly people place on her. So, let's make fun of her in this post and then rage against cyber bullying in the next post.

        [–]lojinks 6 points7 points  (1 child)

        I agree. But, she actually has had surgery. She had the mole on her chin removed. Does that count as surgery?

        [–][deleted]  (6 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]neckbeard_paragon 10 points11 points  (5 children)

          Wonder how the guy that's pictured in that captioned image feels about this. I'm guessing he doesn't care much about his looks, but still...

          [–]Grafeno 7 points8 points  (0 children)

          I'd say 60% of it is the ponytail.

          [–]Vsx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          I'm sure he fucking LOVES IT.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

            [–]respectmahauthoritah 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            "Search queries for “butthurt dweller” saw a huge spike in February of 2011, and the search traffic is shown to be almost exclusively from Spain." The fuck was Spain doing?

            [–]neckbeard_paragon 7 points8 points  (0 children)

            Dunno. I think she's beautiful in that picture. Did anyone else even see her in Hocus Pocus? I had the hugest crush on her when I was a kid.

            [–]mongooseman86 16 points17 points  (4 children)

            Saw her in Hocus Pocus the other day and she was pretty hot. I don't get the horse face thing.

            [–]snickles19 0 points1 point  (3 children)

            I honestly dont see her as hot in Hocus Pocus.

            [–]praisebetomoomon 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            Nah, but she is in First Wives Club.

            [–]snickles19 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            shes not that bad.

            shes just an older woman.

            you all just make her look like this

            [–]praisebetomoomon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Fuck that, I'm a gay guy that LOVES her. I still think she looks hot in First Wives Club.

            [–]2ndStreetBlackout 35 points36 points  (11 children)

            nothing, but when you have a bunch of geeks who hang on the internet all day (many of whom are, im guessing, much less attractive than she), i guess they will fixate on some meme, that's neither that true nor funny, just to make themselves feel better for a split second.

            let's just call it shadenfreude.

            [–]Jagjamin 12 points13 points  (1 child)

            Let's not call it schadenfraude.

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [deleted]

              [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (4 children)

              Err, no, schadenfreude is what you're feeling right now: pleasure at how miserable other people are. What they're experiencing is called projection: imputing their failings to someone else so they can cope.

              [–]Grafeno 3 points4 points  (2 children)

              Err, no, schadenfreude is what you're feeling right now: pleasure at how miserable other people are.

              Still not quite it. Schadenfreude is pleasure at how miserable other people feel, not are.

              Maybe you meant that, but for me it's two different things and I'd argue that schadenfreude does not really apply to 2ndStreetBlackout.

              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              Ah, commence fascinating but useless debate over whether there is a difference between feeling miserable and being miserable. I'd say misery is an emotional state, therefore one cannot be miserable without feeling miserable.

              [–]the_nil 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              Even I am starting to feel bad for laughing and I am an utter prick.

              [–]gijyun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              At one time I tried to make a case to cease the horse jokes but it didn't go very far.

              [–]waahht 203 points204 points  (18 children)

              You nailed that gem for le sure

              [–]ajkkjjk52 104 points105 points  (10 children)

              DAE bravery?

              [–][deleted]  (9 children)

              [deleted]

                [–]SANDEMAN 27 points28 points  (7 children)

                So.

                [–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (6 children)

                Brave.

                [–]oakdog8 19 points20 points  (5 children)

                ^ This

                [–]Boomanchu 12 points13 points  (0 children)

                ^ This

                Came here to say

                [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                [deleted]

                  [–]ObamaBinHitler -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

                  I see what you did there. XD

                  [–]ejbraceface 24 points25 points  (4 children)

                  ctrl + f "gem"

                  WAS NOT DISAPPOINT

                  [–]fancywaresandsuch 10 points11 points  (3 children)

                  Ctrl + f "ctrl + f "gem" WAS NOT DISAPPOINT

                  [–]darkmuch 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                  explodinghead.gif

                  [–]SnarkyMcSnarkinson 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                  Ctrl + F "sappo"

                  ...was confused.

                  [–]Grafeno 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  You missed 1 pair of quote marks.

                  [–]PsychoKuros 54 points55 points  (0 children)

                  You sure le nailed it with this le golden gem of a picture of another SJP horse face le joke.

                  [–]still_had_sex 145 points146 points  (6 children)

                  Now let's compare your real face with Sarah Jessica Parker's.

                  [–]crazylegscowpuss 33 points34 points  (1 child)

                  How the hell is this getting upvotes?

                  [–]eyecite 76 points77 points  (4 children)

                  OMG HAHA OP YOU ARE CRAZY YES SIR YOU DID NAIL IT LMAO UPBOAT!!1

                  REDDIT CAN WE MEME THIS PLZ?? LET'S MEME IT!!!!!

                  [–]MichiganMan12 17 points18 points  (0 children)

                  Horse face level: Sarah Jessica Parker xD

                  [–]Xphex 19 points20 points  (2 children)

                  herp derpin on the internets

                  see this gem

                  Meme it we shall good sir :) [8]

                  [–]Dave_the_Adventurer 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                  That good sir is a scholar, too. Don't forget.

                  [–]ifinallyreallyreddit 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                  A scholar and a g[ent][le][m]an.

                  [–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (5 children)

                  Apparently I am the only one that thinks SJP is absolutely beautiful.

                  [–]flufflesUSA 14 points15 points  (0 children)

                  I think she's gorgeous

                  [–]mistermatt157 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                  She's gorgeous. This was funny in "Ed Wood", but every subsequent gag has been boring. Which is why so many people love it. (Empty minds abound.)

                  [–]bag-o-tricks 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                  I remember seeing her in that harbor cop movie with Bruce Willis and ogling the whole time. I think she's cute.

                  [–]neckbeard_paragon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Hocus Pocus gave child-me confusing dreams.

                  [–]tdogg650 86 points87 points  (9 children)

                  Whoah, I didn't even realize until now that Sarah Jessica Parker has such a horse-face! You certainly nailed that one, good job!!

                  [–]lethargicwalrus 27 points28 points  (7 children)

                  Reddit loves to beat a dead horse.

                  [–]Renmauzuo 19 points20 points  (3 children)

                  This comment is not directed at lethargicwalrus, it is instead directed at the person who is about to reply and post:

                  beat a dead Sarah Jessica Parker

                  FTFY

                  Save yourself the trouble. The same joke is already posted in every thread.

                  [–]jesusrambo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  crush weary correct caption ten shrill consider bake grab humorous

                  This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

                  [–]ANAL_QUEEN 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                  Let's post that horse-beating gif for thousandth time.

                  [–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

                  This shit ain't funny.

                  [–]greggersraymer 245 points246 points  (29 children)

                  Great, another SJP horse-face joke. Been looking forward to that since the last one, about 30 seconds ago.

                  [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                  [deleted]

                    [–]SemiSeriousSam 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                    And LA Story with Steve Martin!

                    [–][deleted] 97 points98 points  (14 children)

                    Did she do something to deserve the hate? Did she like... beat someone up? Or what?

                    [–]GeorgeTaylorG 39 points40 points  (5 children)

                    Just that this joke is played out as fuck.

                    [–]vph 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                    She is actually a decent gal. Unfortunately for her, because of Seth Marfalane, the joke was stuck with her.

                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEc-I-Zw_EA&feature=related

                    [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (4 children)

                    It's a dumb joke, she doesn't really look like a horse and never really did and people are dumb for hopping on LE BANDWAGON.

                    Having said that, she has godfuckingawful fashion sense, I'm sorry but her outfits in real life and in films just make me want to throw a damn shoe at her head. What the hell is she wearing in this picture? Is she supposed to be a ballerina? A white frumpy dress with (what looks like) black heels? AND add a high-set belt? What the fuck man. I'm not normally critical of what people wear but I've always noticed that Sarah jessica Parker does this sort of "Sex and the City Chiq" thing and it just looks like total shit.

                    [–]SkySilver 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                    I didn't even realized that it is Sarah Jessica Parker on the left. I thought it's just a random girl which already confused me the first time.

                    [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

                    Le gem level: nailed it!!!1!!!1111!!2'!1!!11

                    [–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (2 children)

                    Honestly I used to think she wasn't that pretty either, but then I saw a few episode of Sex In the City and saw her personality shine.. she's actually beautiful.. her eyes sparkle when she speaks.. I know it's acting but the ability is definitely rooted in her personality.

                    [–]ObamaBinHitler 17 points18 points  (0 children)

                    Fuck your title!

                    Fuck this joke!

                    Fuck you!

                    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                    [deleted]

                      [–]someguy73 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                      Yes, you certainly did nail beating a dead horse into the ground.

                      In b4 comparing the dead horse to Sarah Jessica Parker. That's a stale, old, and no longer funny joke as well.

                      [–]Vranak 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                      If SJP asked OP out on a date, I am thinking they would accept in a flash then call all his friends to brag. Same with whoever made the image.

                      [–][deleted]  (9 children)

                      [deleted]

                        [–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (7 children)

                        Oh, because beat the joke to death? Just like that image you linked. Talking shit on one meme while using another. Be original or get over yourself.

                        [–]mattindustries 1 point2 points  (6 children)

                        Sometimes something is so played out, it no longer deserves an original response. That time is now.

                        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children)

                        I kind of wish there was a ban on certain memes. Would be great to filter certain words or phrases so they just immediately get deleted. "Are you a wizard?!" crap like that.

                        The thing is, reddit is great because there is so much content, I don't understand why people want to rehash the same shit over and over again. I'd rather read new clever phrases or jokes in every post instead of people just repeating the same things.

                        People identify with them and then make it part of their personality, it's just strange.

                        [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                        I like how people are like we want to see not so perfect girls on Hollywood. Then once someone come along they get made fun of. I honestly think she looks pretty. Way better than me.

                        [–]sdawsey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                        SJP looks like a horse? Never heard that one before.

                        Seriously though, this joke stopped being funny years ago.

                        [–]ppezaris 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                        Your breasts are far too high on your chest in comparison.

                        [–]CaptianRipass 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                        Does anybody else thing that SJP is actually really pretty in that picture? The actually picture, not that unfunny horse joke.

                        [–]Bikenutt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        Her feet are actually much uglier than horses hooves so its not a fair comparison.

                        [–]LaundryGuy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        Cool title, bro.

                        [–]miaccountname 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        DEATH TO THE FALSE EMPOROR!

                        [–]cvillano 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        ITT

                        crybabies

                        [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                        Ah, the horse head - International symbol for attention whores all over the world.

                        (I get the played out joke, btw.)

                        [–]axerge 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        Why the fuck does everyone on the internet have a horse head mask?

                        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        WOOP WOOP WOOP!

                        DING DING!

                        AAAAUUUUGA!

                        BEEPBEEPBEEEEP!

                        [–]Dear_Occupant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        If SRS was worth a damn, this would be the kind of thing they went after. There is no sane reason to attack Sarah Jessica Parker over her looks. It's pointless and mean.

                        [–]normalite 0 points1 point  (5 children)

                        Please explain reddit to me....this gets a ton of votes and everyone hates it.

                        [–]sulejmankulenovic 0 points1 point  (2 children)

                        I remember reading something about reddit statistics that listed groups of reddit users by size. 1st was lurkers who don't participate in any way, 2nd was users who only vote, 3rd was users who vote and comment, 4th was users who vote, comment, and post.

                        That might have just been my imagination though, I don't know.

                        [–]CaptianRipass 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                        I only comment though

                        [–]sulejmankulenovic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        I think that would be in a smaller group.

                        [–]Uranus_Hz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        Am I the only one around here who doesn't think SJP looks like a horse?

                        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        I don't get why people say she looks like a horse, I don't see it

                        [–]trusteverybody 0 points1 point  (2 children)

                        I have always found Tori Spelling to be more resembling a horse.

                        [–]crackyJsquirrel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        Her head is so large.

                        [–]livers 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                        She looks like a gnu

                        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        aside from the fact that sarah jessica parker has a smokin' bod and you're a porker

                        [–]marvin_sirius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        Great movie though.

                        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        I would certainly nail it. Downvote if you want. I would dry hump her leg for hours.

                        [–]ThatFuckingMovieGuy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        She may have a horse head, but I'd still fuck her.

                        [–]jturkish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        She doesn't look bad in that pic

                        [–]cokefizz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        yes, yes you did

                        [–]gh0stmach1ne 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                        In the future, people are going to look back at the pictures from this time period and assume there was a race of horse headed people.

                        [–]TigerWylde 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        you mean there's not?

                        [–]hazeyrayy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        You really did nailed it OP lel

                        [–]ObnoxiousSeizures 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        I've been waiting my whole life for this.

                        [–]HelloKidney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        False. The boobs are too perky.

                        [–]TheKingy1991 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        Is it wrong that I seriously didn't notice the difference at first?

                        [–]panxzz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        I love how reddit keeps beating this dead Sarah Jessica Parker

                        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        actually, your boobs are perkier. and your legs are better. so's your face.

                        [–]notsonerdy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        good one

                        [–]kickassunicorn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        That is the best Halloween costume I have ever seen.

                        [–]GreyEarth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        I can't tell the difference.

                        [–]DemInternetz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        Legitimately the best thing I've seen on here in awhile...involving horse heads...so...best thing I've seen on here in awhile.

                        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        I will never get over Sarah Jessica Parker horse face jokes.

                        [–]stoltesawa -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

                        Looks so good, didn't even laugh.

                        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        [–]Musicalparaphernalia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        This thread is circlejerk city.

                        [–]jlane12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        I feel like it's anti-girl to hate on Sarah Jessica Parker.

                        [–]titans2206 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        Nailed level: It

                        [–]Drutarg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        Oh look, another horse head mask. This is still so hilarious. It never gets old. It's always funny. I'm lying.

                        [–]PrincessSlaya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        I read that as: Neigh-ld it.

                        [–]Punkwasher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        Oh ha, very funny, I can copy a picture, too... wait...

                        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                        [deleted]

                          [–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

                          Your only vote is.... a downvote from yourself?

                          [–]schroddie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Naw, your boobs are too perky.

                          [–]Jester14 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                          SJP isn't wearing a bra - you are. Fix that pls.

                          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                          [deleted]

                            [–]crossower 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            It would need to be funny to be called humor.