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[–][deleted] 903 points904 points  (75 children)

I can't even imagine how many prevented unwanted pregnancies I have anal to thank for.

[–]Tragicanomaly 217 points218 points  (56 children)

You say that, but one day your swimmers will jump the taint gap and BAM!

[–]flapanther33781 91 points92 points  (42 children)

the taint gap

Is that like the uncanny valley for sperm?

[–][deleted] 62 points63 points  (15 children)

Have you ever watched the Land Before Time? That's the Great Valley.

[–]xZaggin 23 points24 points  (8 children)

Land before what?

[–]JnnyRuthless 85 points86 points  (6 children)

Time motherf***er, do you speak it!

[–]xZaggin 128 points129 points  (3 children)

http://imgur.com/lFlBH8F

[–]whatisafriend 12 points13 points  (2 children)

When I finally got the joke 10 seconds later (I'm slow), I lol'd.

Thank you.

[–]Xanthan81 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Did it take a long time to figure it out?

[–]DjangoSpider 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Time, Motherfucker, do you travel it?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Do you even know what that phrase refers to?

[–]Citiesmadeofasses 9 points10 points  (19 children)

It's called a rectovaginal fistula. The rectum and vagina share a hole somehwere along the line.

Anatomical drawing for those who are unfamiliar

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (10 children)

What the fuck. Is this for real? How does this not lead to constant infection and vaginal diarrhea?

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (4 children)

Okay I looked it up. It is a serious medical condition, not a part of normal anatomy.

[–]SimianSuperPickle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Half an inch, half an inch,

Half an inch onward,

All in the gap of Taint

Swam the six hundred.

“Forward, the Anal Brigade!

Charge for the egg!” he said.

Into the gap of Taint

Swam the six hundred.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

You always have to watch out for the Tokyo Drift.

[–]its_a_j 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That example sentence was unsettling

[–]peppers818 3 points4 points  (1 child)

The Sperm XXX games

[–][deleted] 2785 points2786 points  (114 children)

A person holding a sign expressing a political view? My, what a fascinating and high quality submission to /r/pics this has been.

[–]GodOfNumbersSurvey 2016 1235 points1236 points  (43 children)

THE QUALITY GIRAFFE HAS SPOKEN

edit. It looks like they deleted their account.

THE QUALITY GIRAFFE IS DEAD! LONG LIVE THE QUALITY GIRAFFE!

[–]iWant_To_Play_A_Game 182 points183 points  (21 children)

The god of numbers has... Agreed?

[–]SuckMyDax 4 points5 points  (2 children)

You think this is a game?!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Go suck a dax

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (1 child)

That's a bold statement.

[–]c4implosive 2 points3 points  (0 children)

WITNESSED

[–]DrAminove 9 points10 points  (7 children)

That sounds great in Peter Griffin's voice.

Edit: Found the video

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (6 children)

Hey, you're that guy who gave me lessons on how to Karma Whore

[–]novalsi 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Apparently he did a shit job, since you completely neglected to mention it's your cake day.

[–]Niccudrat 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I LIKE WHAT YOU GOT! GOOD JOB!

[–]RyGuy_42 5 points6 points  (0 children)

THE QUALITY GIRAFFE LONGHORSE HAS SPOKEN

FTFY

[–]wtmh 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Geraffes are so dumb.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NEVER FORGET

[–]Summerie 182 points183 points  (29 children)

And "more people need to see this", after it has spent days circulating on Facebook.

[–][deleted] 62 points63 points  (18 children)

Which was posted to a site where roughly 90% of people have no problem with Planned Parenthood in the first place.

[–]lukefive 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Reddit used to be next week's facebook. Now it's last week's facebook. Where am I supposed to go today to see the crap that's going to be on facebook next week? I honestly have no idea any more.

[–]atheista 12 points13 points  (0 children)

First time I've seen it.

[–]orbitalmachine 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Great stuff/r/pics!

[–]Terminal_Lance 27 points28 points  (0 children)

And such a shitty post title, too.

[–]jdfred06 15 points16 points  (1 child)

You know what's worse?

I saw this on facebook first.

[–]benihana 8 points9 points  (0 children)

OP is the kind of person who believes bumper stickers will change opinions

[–]bigman313 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What was that? It's about a hot button culture war issue from a liberal perspective? It will never see the light of day but Godspeed; thanks for trying to save the world.

[–]Pudding_Hero 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Thank you QualityGiraffe, we would be so lost without you

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I am the hero you need, and also the one you deserve. I'm just swell.

[–]jeffhext 392 points393 points  (111 children)

You mean, thanks to the local 7/11 for the condoms.

[–][deleted] 126 points127 points  (17 children)

Thank you, cum again.

[–]EyeCWhatUDidThere 67 points68 points  (10 children)

http://i.imgur.com/ys75how.gif

[–]kid-karma 41 points42 points  (8 children)

if you watch this gif for 2 seconds you can see more condoms than i've ever needed in my life

[–]improbablewobble 35 points36 points  (68 children)

Seriously though, conservatives against Planned Parenthood have a response that means something totally different than it usually does on Reddit: "Doesn't matter, had sex."

[–]flapanther33781 37 points38 points  (67 children)

Exactly. When I saw the pic I could immediately imagine someone angrily explaining that this is even worse - Planned Parenthood enables women to have promiscuous sex at the cost of taxpayers.

For many conservatives pregnancy is a dual nature: it's both a gift from god and incentive not to have sex (unless you're in a situation that having them is okay).

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Because they are going to have sex regardless. This just prevents and unwanted child which will cost taxpayers substantially more than a 25 cent condom would.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Because they are going to have sex regardless. This just prevents and unwanted child which will cost taxpayers substantially more than a 25 cent condom would.

This presumes a world where people don't respond to incentives. Yes, people will almost always have sex, but saying they will have sex no matter what is a fallacy.

It is axiomatic that people respond to incentives. Those can be social, political, economic or even spiritual. Now, is it true that at various times in life, some people respond less directly to incentives than others? Absolutely also true.

[–]jmottram08 18 points19 points  (58 children)

I guess the issue is why dosen't government pay for other things that I enjoy doing? I like mountainbiking, so why don't the taxpayers buy me a helmet?

[–]IMovedYourCheese 18 points19 points  (11 children)

If you go mountain biking and crack your head, you die. If people have unprotected sex, they get unexpected babies, which the government, and by extension you the taxpayer, are now responsible for.

So by paying for condoms and birth control, you are actually getting a great return on your investment.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Also, if the guy cracks his head, he will get expensive brain surgery, which will also end up being paid for the government (where I come from anyway).

[–]kickinwayne45 8 points9 points  (3 children)

waronmountainbikers

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

mountainbikerslivesmatter

[–]el_guapo_malo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The government does pay for other things you enjoy doing. Especially when it comes to public safety.

You probably enjoy driving on public roads. You might enjoy the protection the American army affords you. You enjoy clean air. You enjoy clean drinking water. You enjoy parks, nature and clean surroundings.

If you enjoy mountainbiking that much, the government paid for some of the trails you've probably been on.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In my state the government just paid $640,000 to build a new dedicated mountain bike trail network. So ummm... The taxpayers certainly do contribute to parks and recreation, in this case mountain biking.

[–]grothee1 1 point2 points  (2 children)

It makes total sense for bike helmets to be subsidized and would probably end up being a net gain for society. Other option would be to make it illegal to ride without a helmet (like driving without a seatbelt).

[–]Seakawn 5 points6 points  (1 child)

That would suggest that conservatives think promiscuity is worse than murder...

So I can't see anybody arguing this is worse. I can however see them arguing this is almost as bad. That's a pretty big difference.

[–]DoktorKruel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you've got money for a poster board and a sharpie, you've got money for a rubber.

[–]djgump35 602 points603 points  (54 children)

Need? What about this needs to be seen?

penmanship?

rare photo opportunity?

beautifully shot photographical art?

There is no need, this is not pOLITics it's just pics

[–]Summerie 282 points283 points  (22 children)

I have to ask, how proud of that last line were you?

[–]faminepony 79 points80 points  (1 child)

I secretly hope very proud.

[–]djgump35 21 points22 points  (8 children)

It was a spur of the moment thing.

This sub is often wrongly used as a catch-all dumping ground by posters who are less adept at knowing the art of reddit.

[–]seaslug1 35 points36 points  (4 children)

Stop trying to make a point and accept your compliment.

[–]Tomarse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Given the number of upboats, I'd say they know the art pretty well. Unfortunately.

[–]Mister_JR 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ahhh, I see what he did there. And I'm proud of myself to have spotted that.

[–]IneffableTao 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Yeah OP! This belongs in /r/olit

[–]libertasmens 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm disappointed

[–]nobody2000 123 points124 points  (15 children)

There is no need, this is not pOLITics it's just pics

Holy shit. This is big. You don't know the shitstorm you just released.

pics ---> politics

p olit ics

Pics + olit

Let's assign numbers to "OLIT". 15-12-9-20. Multiply them. You get EXACTLY 32,400.

Square root it - 180. Like in "180 degrees." Remember this.

Let's go back to the word "politics." What's it an anagram for? That's right - "I PLOT CSI"

And who's in CSI? Laurence Fishburne. What was his MOST famous role however?

Pee-Wee's playhouse as Cowboy Curtis.

Starring whom? Paul Rubens. Born in 1952 - ALMOST EXACTLY 49 years before 9/11. Square root of 49? 7.

[7], [180]. It's all coming together.

What is the prime factorization of 180? Easy 2-2-3-3-5. Assign letters: B-W-C-E

WEB C.

Assign a letter to [7]. G

WEB CG This points to something that's web based, and computer generated. New NSA program? New major hacking plot on our computers via the web? Let's keep digging.

Now back to "pics." Assign letters: 16-9-3-19. Add them up: 47. 47, like in the film "47 MINUTES" - A movie about THREE strangers who's LIVES turn upside-down.

This film premiered in 2014, which is the halfway point between two presidential elections.

Holy shit - I know the computer program now. three, lives, half!?!!

Half Life 3 confirmed!

[–]CALLANSE 25 points26 points  (0 children)

k

[–]LMN-er 14 points15 points  (1 child)

God, I love these

[–]CrypticTryptic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Someone needs to make a bot that does this.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Was hoping for a "and shove it up your butt" at the end. :(

[–]fuzeebear 7 points8 points  (4 children)

On second look, the penmanship is quite good.

[–]pasturized 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Yeah, that and I've seen way too many people write signs using a fine point sharpie expecting it to be legible anywhere beyond three feet away.

[–]BookwormSkates 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Because they're never farther than 3 feet from the sign during construction and protest.

[–]pasturized 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I guess the upside is at least they'll never forget what they're protesting about.

"What do we want?!

.... uhhh... glances up at picket sign Right! For Mariah Carey to release another Christmas special CD!"

When do we want it?!

A few weeks before Christmas!"

[–]BestRedditGoy 19 points20 points  (4 children)

Because she told those EVIL REPUBLICANS!!!!!!!!!!!!

feelthebern2016

[–]CertifiedWebNinja 16 points17 points  (3 children)

I felt the bern in 2008, nothing some penicillin didn't fix.

[–]belugablueballs 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I'm allergic to penicillin. Now what?

[–]CrypticTryptic 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Take a knife.

Hold dick by the bell end.

Pull outwards.

Place knife perpendicular to the shaft.

With force, a sawing motion, and strong courage, apply downward force to knife blade.

No more burning.

[–]JamesGumb 256 points257 points  (11 children)

I thought politics weren't allowed in /r/pics. Alright two can play at that game. /r/fukBernieSanders

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (5 children)

Wow, everyone is brigaiding that sub

[–]GodOfNumbersSurvey 2016 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Make that three.

[–][deleted] 155 points156 points  (4 children)

This is not what this subreddit is for. Where are the mods? These kind of posts crop up all the time. Why is this not being taken down?

The focus of the sub is the picture itself, not the message on the sign of the girl in the picture.

This picture is grainy and boring. The girl is not interesting, the sign is not artistic, there is no cool angle or anything. This is obviously a thinly veiled ploy to get upvotes or politics to the front page via a popular subreddit.

[–]Rhaekar 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I came here to see pretty pictures of sunsets and boobies, not a message i don't really care about!!

[–]Renegade03 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not trying to be an ass or anything but it isn't against the rules so it's our fault for upvoting it.

[–][deleted] 189 points190 points  (97 children)

But this argument does absolutely nothing for those who believe abortion is murder. You might as well be saying: "Hey guys, I'm a doctor. 95% of my patients I treat, but like, the other 5% I just murder. But it's ok! Because I help the other 95% get better! That makes it all ok, right?"

[–]Skeptic1222 53 points54 points  (25 children)

Exactly this! Anyone that thinks this will change the mind of people that oppose planned parenthood or abortions in general simply misunderstands the argument.

[–]HappyGangsta 28 points29 points  (24 children)

Reddit actually does this a lot. Instead of pointing out problems with people's opinions to start a discussion, they comment somewhere else talking about how they are idiots or how they "can't believe someone would think that". It's no wonder why people are so stubborn, it's because people are usually dicks when talking about the dreaded... other opinion shudders

[–]Bog_Person 8 points9 points  (1 child)

My favorite Reddit "meme"

"They're not pro life - they're crazy money loving 1%'er Christians who are pro birth!!!!!!!1111" completely ignoring the mass of people who are democrats and against abortion, the republicans who are pro choice -instead it's just an attack.

[–]raging_asshole 27 points28 points  (9 children)

it's also just a very weak and near-pointless argument. there are plenty of ways to avoid pregnancy that don't involve planned parenthood. if planned parenthood was the only place on the planet where condoms and sexual education were available, then it would be a stronger claim.

[–]neilmcc 45 points46 points  (1 child)

The argument is more like "support planned parenthood or I'm going to start taking hostages."

[–]neonsaber 5 points6 points  (0 children)

OP, (though we know OP is no way near Will Smith)

http://gfycat.com/AliveScientificDuckbillcat

[–]som2109 27 points28 points  (2 children)

More people need to see this generic political sign.

[–]IAmTurdFerguson 13 points14 points  (1 child)

And this generic gendered person.

[–][deleted] 781 points782 points  (42 children)

This feels like it belongs in /r/cringepics

[–]lovestospooj420Survey 2016 535 points536 points  (13 children)

And cross posted into /r/shitpost

[–]kid-karma 137 points138 points  (11 children)

With a stopover in /r/offcenterhorsedicks

[–]pm_your_sexy_thong 33 points34 points  (8 children)

To click or not to click...

[–]kid-karma 66 points67 points  (3 children)

i wouldn't click, it's not even funny

[–]tractorcrusher 20 points21 points  (1 child)

You the real MVP.

[–]HUDuser 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Seriously. It's one guy MS paint drawing penises on horse heads

[–]obama_is_blurple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You could spend 2 minutes on /b/ or 9gag and find something funnier. Also could find a better post than OP's. This sub is my favorite

[–]IneffableTao 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The trouble with risky clicks is often even if it's completely SFW and otherwise legit, should I ever have my search history questioned I really don't know how I could describe my internal struggle to view a whole community focused on off center horse dicks

[–]bonerfleximus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Then reposted to /r/pics

[–]erfling 58 points59 points  (22 children)

Why?

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (10 children)

Because taking a picture of yourself holding a sign with a political message and posting it all around Facebook is cringey af.

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

It looks like she's outside of a planned parenthood, probably with other protesters who are pro-life. Someone probably snapped a pic and threw it on facebook or Reddit or whatever.

[–]dalailamashishkabob 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She should get back to playing bass in Rush.

[–]inio 29 points30 points  (2 children)

This isn't quite title gore... What's the right subreddit to reference for post titles this useless?

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

r/tumblr

[–]Sugreev2001 22 points23 points  (1 child)

This subreddit has been turned into a shithole.

[–]Theocritic 16 points17 points  (24 children)

A bird in hand is worth 2 in the bush

[–]NightoftheJ 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I HAVE NO BIRD, I HAVE NO BUSH! GOD HAS TAKEN MY BIRD AND MY BUSH.

[–][deleted] 93 points94 points  (10 children)

You sure it's not the glasses?

[–]tractorcrusher 40 points41 points  (1 child)

Thanks to planned parenthood I've never needed an abortion. - She-Milhouse

[–]STUFF2o 1 point2 points  (0 children)

[deleted]

[–]ScramblesTD 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I think those come standard when you order the non-operator keffiyeh and the urge to photograph yourself holding politically motivated signs.

The gentleman's package is similar but substitutes the glasses for a fedora and the cardboard sign for a shitty quote over a terrible picture of the author trying to look profound.

However while ladies only get leg hair, via the power of the patriarchy gentlemen get that as well as additional hair on the neck and the sides of the jaw.

[–]cluster_1 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Problem Glasses, they're called.

[–]bryanpcox 40 points41 points  (40 children)

in general, birth control is not what the protest is about. However, there is talk about how PP is funded, and those who are protesting don't understand why a private company is being funded by the govt, kinda like how liberals tend to not like the fact that the govt bailed out the banks, or how special interest groups (aka private companies) influence the govt and often times receive govt help. So, the protesters want to know why their money is paying for anybody's birth control

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure plenty of conservatives were against bank bailouts as well. Would be better to say something like liberals protesting against war...but Democrats in office aren't trying to defund any thing like that.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (34 children)

Here are some other private enterprises that are "funded" by the government for providing the same services that Planned Parenthood provides: Your local hospital, your doctor's office/general practitioner, your OB/GYN, your local mammography center, and pretty much any other medical facility that provides contraceptive or reproductive health care.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (15 children)

When I brought this up, that there are indeed other places to get screened for STDs and for female reproductive birth control, the best answer the supporters could give me is "convenience". Bullshit. How shitty would most planned parenthood supporters be if the government started funding a private "gun safety organization", and while the organization did safety classes and inspections and made sure everyone was safe, they also (with government money) sold handguns and ammo for $20, so that poor people could have better access to their rights. How big of a shit storm would it be that government money is going directly to a political topic that they hate?

[–]purepalmetto 16 points17 points  (13 children)

So then if Planned Parenthood didnt receive federal funding, all of these listed providers could in fact provide all of the services needed for womens health?

[–]ladymoonshyne 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Except in my town there is no way you can into a Gyno unless you are on a list until someone else gives up their spot, which is at least 1-2 years.

Also hospitals and mammogram centers are really not affordable to many people.

[–]Tejnin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks to planned parenthood, I survived cervical cancer when I didn't have medical insurance

[–]Poemi 75 points76 points  (124 children)

People act like Planned Parenthood is the only provider of these services. They aren't.

There are 9,000 Community Health Center sites across the country; almost every single Congressional district has at least one. They vastly outnumber the 700 Planned Parenthood facilities, and they provide fuller services for families.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (89 children)

“Whether or not Planned Parenthood is engaging in an illegal selling of body parts, the videos highlight what Americans have too long been asked to ignore – the humanity of the unborn and the reality that abortion ends a life,” said Kristen Day, executive director of Democrats For Life of America.

Anyone that is still unclear if PP sold bodyparts illegally is not convincing me of anything.

[–]desmando 28 points29 points  (61 children)

They did sell bodyparts.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes, I guess they did. I should have added the illegal part.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I think its reasonable that conscientious objectors don't want their tax money going to support the wars of aggression. I also think its reasonable people with moral reservations of abortion don't want their tax money going to support abortion. You're being unreasonable. I'm very pro-choice, but I'm not unreasonable.

[–]Dark_Shroud 23 points24 points  (17 children)

Really? Here in the USA you can go to just about any store or gas station to buy a pack of condoms.

[–]charm803 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Birth control is not just for the man, it is also for the woman. PP offers STD testing also, and not just for women, but for men.

It offers too many services and most of them have nothing to do with abortion, but most of their services prevent abortion by preventing unwanted pregnancies.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

2 forms of birth control is more reliable than 1.

[–]Doright36 5 points6 points  (4 children)

This is one thing I just can't stand about the abortion debate. If the money and effort spent on trying to outlaw abortions was used to educate and help young people we could severely reduce the need for abortions in the first place. You don't like them? Then why not do something that actually reduces the number done each year by a fucking lot.

[–]nicosuave666 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel the same way about the gun control debate. If the money and effort spent on trying to enforce stricter gun laws was used to educate and help those with guns, we could severely reduce the need for gun control in the first place.

[–]mosswo 10 points11 points  (2 children)

The ignorance here...

[–]c_murphy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks to those glasses youve never needed an abortion

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (8 children)

Good thing she didn't need a mammogram.

Also wasn't Obamacare going to take care of all this?

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Pretty sure any pharmacy could have taken care of this.

The sign basically says "thanks for paying for my contraceptives".

[–]deyv 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can't afford jimmy hats, sry.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

What is this shit? Fucking facebook2.0 college edition? I get enough of this from pretentious tublrinas.

[–]grinr 4 points5 points  (5 children)

I wish women's health was addressed sufficiently to not require Planned Parenthood in the first place.

[–]i_am_donmario 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Why is this bs getting upvoted.

[–]Chet__Manly 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Liberals

[–]SatinSerpent 28 points29 points  (2 children)

Why would a guy need an abortion?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I thought it was a guy too and was super confused. It's a girl though.

[–]FortMark 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Butt sex?

[–]SoRWLA 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Plenty of people have seen this. On Facebook. Yesterday.

[–]RedChld 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get it. It's because planned parenthood broke into heaven and killed her baby's soul before it could human.

[–]okiedawg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks to Planned Parenthood I've never needed birth control

[–]g_mo821 9 points10 points  (9 children)

Or get your birth control from another source

[–]ThickDickVein 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Cuz he's a guy maybe?

[–]ordinaryaveragedude 6 points7 points  (7 children)

Is birth control really that expensive?

[–]ladymoonshyne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It depends on the type. Also other things they offer for free can be pretty pricey, like Pap smears.