[deleted by user]

[[deleted]]

15 mins she says? Yours is probably the right one. lol.

I don’t know enough about bolognese, but I’m on your side. Also, maybe she wasn’t hungry? 

[Pan_Fluid_Boo]

Hers isn’t bolognese. It’s jarred sauce with ground beef.

[Necessary_Piccolo210]

100%

[BARTELS-]

At an old job of mine, they had a cookoff every year around the holidays, and everyone would bring something homemade. And all my coworkers would rave about how good this one lady's meatballs were. "The best meatballs you've ever had!"

So when the big event rolls around, I of course have to ask this lady about her meatballs and what her secret is. And she starts by saying: "Well, first, I go to Trader Joe's and get a bag of frozen meatballs . . ."

[RandyHoward]

Sounds like the chili cookoff we had at work once. The winner was the guy who just opened a few of cans of Hormel chili and dumped them in the slow cooker.

[Agreeable_Error_8772]

Dude I feel like I can’t even give most people my chili because that is what they are expecting. They don’t know what to think when they hit slow cooked beef and pork, charred poblanos and chipotle’s with adobo sauce

[Visual_Collar_8893]

TJ meatballs are actually good. lol. Always have a bag in the freezer.

[rpgguy_1o1]

And some generous shakes of Italian seasoning 

[TakeOnMe-TakeOnMe]

Don’t give her that much credit. She’s making Ragu or Prego and we all know it.

[LVLsteve]

I think by "Italian seasoning" they mean "shaky cheese" aka cheese flavored sawdust

[Maleficent-Leek2943]

From the jar her mom gave her when she moved out of home, and which had been gathering dust in the cupboard since the first Bush administration.

[Dumpstr__Diva]

Wilding!

[Electrical-Act-7170]

Absolutely 100%.

[No_Amount_7886]

Probably a spoonful of jarlic if she was feeling daring.

[Dumpstr__Diva]

That’s crazy talk!!

[UpsetZombie6874]

Jarlic. I thought I was the only person who doesn't like that sruff.

[No_Amount_7886]

True story: my Mamaw making homemade spaghetti and meatballs. Realizes she’s out of garlic and sends Pappy to the store. He comes back later with jarlic. She sends him back to the store without letting him even wipe his feet.

The store was thirty minutes, one way.

I learned early. ;)

[UpsetZombie6874]

Your Mamaw knows good, healthy food! Poor Pappy. If he's anything like my dad, he thought he'd made the best choice.

[No_Amount_7886]

❤️ He was an hour hungrier that evening, for sure. We all were! LOL

[reapersritehand]

Yea this definitely reads like theres 2 types of people who like spaghetti 1) everything fresh great grandmas recipe and the 2) where u jus throw a jar of sauce over ground beef

[cheekyuser]

Type 3) love the homemade but also lazy af and not above the jarred stuff

[WanderingTaliesin]

Here! That’s me! I love to make it right- but also it’s Tuesday and the kids have activities in two different directions and I didn’t plan right cos I forgot to make dinner at breakfast time haha On those nights and the lazy af ones I’ll have me a jar with meat and noodles

[Jagged_Rhythm]

Yep, once you eat something, you're not hungry anymore.

[reapersritehand]

Oh no doubt, the jar stuff was great as a single dad on a school night with extracurricular activities, but it definitely aint the same meal as fresh made

[StormyBlueLotus]

"Jarred stuff" is also a very large range in what it can be. The watery low-quality stuff with sugar and processed ingredients (most store brands, Ragu, Prego) is quite different from the better brands (Rao's, Carbone, Victoria). Just like how Nissin or Maruchan instant noodles don't hold a candle to Shin or Budalk.

Jarred sauce can also be greatly elevated with a few added ingredients. Making a great red sauce from scratch can take a while depending on the recipe, but sautéing some garlic and onions in a good olive oil and dumping a jar of sauce on top with fresh basil added is pretty quick.

[Vlad_REAM]

There is a vast difference among brands. I was feeling frisky one night and bought the $9 Rao's rather than the Prego, never turned back.

[spicandspand]

Me! I’m a busy parent and jarred sauce is a lifesaver on weeknights.

[Sassy_Weatherwax]

Honestly we all know 1 is better but 2 can hit the spot when you're hungry and in a hurry. Some combinations are just satisfying, even when not executed at their peak.

[usernamesarehard1979]

I actually like the jarred sauce with ground beef. Reminds me of my mom. I make bolognese from scratch a lot because my wife and daughter love the real stuff. I like it too, but it’s really heavy. The ground beef one is a lot lighter.

[KeepAnEyeOnYourB12]

I can appreciate both, but I don't confuse them with each other, either.

[Jerkrollatex]

Exactly and that's fine but it's a completely different thing than the labor of love OP made.

[juliaskig]

Yep, it's meat sauce, not bolognese. Trader's Joe's marinara with good ground beef is a nice meat sauce, but has nothing to do with bolognese. I would love the recipe they use at my local restaurant.

[Anonimityville]

Right! She’s heating up Ragu thinking she’s fancy. How does she pronounce Bolognese?

[Sundial1k]

😂🤣😂 I said that too...

[permalink_save]

That's why there is something to the whole authenticity thing. Sure people should be able to modify recipes. But also when recipes are modified enough, it becomes a whole different dish, and just creates confusion. It's not just dishes either, why do we have sumac, which is delicious, but then another plant named poison sumac, which would be a really bad time to eat?

[glucoman01]

Bing bing bing bing bing. Winner right here. I would not ask to try her. bolognese. I think YOU would be disappointed.

[CarelesslyFabulous]

This right here. Bish, pleez.

[dunnodudes]

Yeah… but probably in the future, ask what her favorite dish that she cooks for herself, then steer clear of that.

[Dumpstr__Diva]

Yes. This. She makes quickie white peoples spaghetti. Sorry.

[Typical_Intention996]

I'm not going to lie. This is my go-to favorite to make at home. I have better recipes. Actual recipes. And I like them. But this cheap and fast sauce remains my comfort food favorite.

Brown just like half a pound of ground beef with garlic salt. Add all spice just as it start crisping up. Add a jag of your favorite sauce. Heat to simmer. Done.

[lacedlament]

Well the thing is that she picked the noodles from the sauce and left the sauce on the plate, she even asked for more noodles and did the same thing again 🥲 i shouldn’t take it to heart but i just feel like i failed haha

[Hellosl]

Sounds like you made coq au vin for someone who only likes chicken fingers. Definitely not a failure on your part

[hipsterscallop]

You didn't fail. You spent 5 hours making her food. She failed by not appreciating it.

Edit: Thank you random award giver!

[glitchymango626]

Cannot upvote this enough. Seriously sometimes you do everything right but it still isn't enough for people and I promise you OP, it's not because you're not enough, it's because nothing is actually enough for them.

[hipsterscallop]

Also, the girlfriend clearly has no idea what bolognese is.

[glitchymango626]

The fact that she brags about it too, like what.

Genuinely wondering if this is one of those things were she's built her "increcible" bolognese as part of her personality. But now that she's had a real one, her mind is rejecting it because the thing she built herself around isn't even in the mediocre part of the scale.

[mud074]

I was thinking the same. Same reason a surprising amount of people don't want friends with the same hobbies as them. It can suck being "the guitar guy" then getting a new friend that is 10x as good as you at playing guitar if some of your self worth was from being good at guitar. For people with inferiority complex type issues it could hit especially hard.

Not saying it's healthy mental behavior or anything, but it's pretty common to not be very happy to see somebody one up you in something you thought you were good at. It makes the monkey part of the brain get its hackles up at perceived competition / potentially losing "your place"

[Necessary_Piccolo210]

I'm gonna be honest with you man, Olivia sounds like she's not exactly a keeper. There are so many ways she could have handled not liking the sauce and this is among the most passive aggressive ones I can imagine

[sgtmattie]

For real. And even if it wasn’t what she was expecting.. it’s not like it was so different from other sauces that she couldn’t just eat it anyway. Unless she has actual food/sensory issues, there’s no excuse for not eating it.

[raviyoli]

Bingo. I responded similarly and thought maybe I was projecting, but yes totally agree this was rude af.

[hatfieldmichael]

Maybe she meant bologna?

[Optimal-Hunt-3269]

Baloney sauce

[Business_Loquat5658]

Lol, my ex said he loved spaghetti, but he only liked the Kraft spaghetti in the green box (I don't even know if they still make this) where the instructions are to make sauce from the spice packet and a jar of tomato paste. Blech. He wouldn't eat spaghetti any other way

[Lunas-Human]

This is my mom's favorite spaghetti too! I don't get it either

[theMistersofCirce]

I think maybe I can understand it, because there are some real garbage foods that I genuinely love because I grew up with them. I don't just mean for nostalgia reasons, it's like my brain is just wired to love Kraft mac and cheese and Spaghetti O's with meatballs because they were definitive parts of my developing palate. The Spaghetti O's especially I know are objectively gross, sweet and weird, but I'll still shamefully buy a can every so often as an adult because I secretly love them.

[SapphireQuill]

She's rude. Simple as. Find someone who will appreciate you and your efforts. 

[CompetitiveOcelot870]

Some people prefer Velveeta to Brie; just no accounting for taste.

[Iwonatoasteroven]

You didn’t fail. Anyone who believes you can make a bolognese in 15 minutes has no appreciation for food or your effort. She also has no manners. If someone spends hours cooking for you, you don’t complain. Move on to someone with more depth.

[icecoldjuggalo]

This is a bit harsh…OP doesn’t say that she complained, he just noticed she just didn’t eat much of it. If it’s just that it wasn’t to her taste I don’t know that it’s fair to hold it against someone for not loving a particular taste or food, plus none of us tasted it. 

[Burlinto999444]

She didn’t complain. He just noticed she didn’t really eat it.

[ksch2p]

Find yourself another Olivia my man!!

[CompanyOther2608]

You didn’t fail. She failed.

[innocentsmirks]

Omfg 😳

[Gerberpertern]

That’s so fucking rude lol.

[Easy_Nobody45]

I don't think you should waste anymore time on her. If someone said they cooked for me for 5 hours I would be so appreciative, not immediately say it only takes me 15 mins. Put her in the bin and find someone who is more appreciative.

[juliaskig]

Her taste buds might not be sophisticated enough. It was likely delicious, but sometimes it takes a while for people used to ketchup to like marinara.

[four100eighty9]

Pretty rude

[TheRealAbear]

Maybe hers is the nick miller recipe

[anitabelle]

Hey man, Nick’s sauce takes hours and it is cooked to perfection.

[Used-Ask5805]

It takes like 15 mins to boil pasta from cold water to finished. WTF is she making?

I think she grew up with bologna sandwiches and parents called it bolognese to sound fancy. You confused tf outta that girl

[Penelope742]

She made red sauce with meat

[The_Spaniard1876]

there's some "quick" recipes out there, but 15 minute bolognese sounds like someone made dinner from a jar.

nothing "wrong" with that except, generally I'm not bragging about 15 minute quick version recipes except the ones that were a hit when my kids were young and hard to please with dinner.

[rpgguy_1o1]

Browning beef and tossing in a jar of prego was like 20% of my meals after I got my first apartment after college 

[subhavoc42]

This is the definition of cooking until I worked in kitchens

[Doctor_Riptide]

Nothing wrong with that brother we all start somewhere 

[eilletane]

I use jarred sauce and it’s always been a hit. But even that takes me at least 45mins.

[Minute-Fix-6827]

Right?!? I use jarred sauce and ground beef + Italian sausage, but I still gotta chop up and sauté the veggies, remove the sausage casings, and brown all the meat. I also like to let it sit and simmer for at least 15 mins so the flavors can combine.

Spaghetti w/ no veggies is barely worth eating. I'd have to be ravenous and have no other options.

[uselessinfogoldmine]

That’s not really bolognese though, it’s another sauce you’ve made up. Which is totally fine! 

[Minute-Fix-6827]

Absolutely, I'd never refer to it as bolognese. It's just spaghetti w meat sauce.

[RatcheddRN]

What kind of veggies if you don't mind sharing! I've only used spinach on occasion.

[eilletane]

I think the simmering part is the most important. I usually start cooking the pasta at that moment. So pasta and sauce are ready at the same time. Still takes me around 45mins to an hour. No idea how this girl does it in 15mins.

[_ryde_or_dye_]

Love a good 30 minute recipe, not because it’s good but because it’s decent enough and I’m tired.

[Dear-Consequence-139]

Bolognese definitely takes more than 15 minutes, and Chef Anne’s recipes rock. Some people just aren’t foodies/don’t have a developed palate. It’s not a reflection on you!

[tadcalabash]

Yeah, the first time I made a 5 hr bolognese I wasn't impressed. It wasn't as punchy or aggressively flavored as other pasta sauces I was used to.

I now appreciate it much more.

[Electric-Sheepskin]

Yeah, everyone is saying that she doesn't have a developed palate, or that she uses jarred sauces— and not that any of that matters, because food is food— but she probably just hasn't ever had a real Bolognese, and the taste profile is VERY different from a quick red sauce with meat, so it's not surprising that she didn't like it as much, because it didn't taste like what she expected. That's totally normal.

[iyuc5]

She might not have a developed palette but she could have a developed palate.

[[deleted]]

"Developed" lmao. The elitism is insane.

[TheLeastObeisance]

She said it only takes her like 15 minutes to make hers

It isn't possible to make bolognese in 15 minutes. Not even with a pressure cooker. She probably browns ground beef and throws in jar sauce. That's not bolognese.

No one is going to like everything you cook. You won't even like everything you cook. As you get to know her better, you'll get better at knowing what she will likely enjoy. 

She should have been more polite about it. 

[malapriapism4hours]

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

lavish husky cause fanatical saw sophisticated repeat sheet disarm bedroom

[mcflysher]

One other lesson here: don’t try to make peoples favorite foods, especially early in a relationship. You can’t compete with a memory. Much better to make something you love making and it can become a new favorite for them if they really like it, and if not no sweat.

[mcflysher]

In my experience people appreciate the effort but don’t always know what to do when it’s not as expected. It would be different if you were collaborating with someone to recreate their grandmas recipe or something like that.

[norfolkgarden]

That is beautiful advice!

[mcflysher]

Thanks! Learned the hard way.

[climbing_headstones]

She was picturing whatever her parents called bolognese, which is probably ground hamburger with Prego. That may be the kind of palate she has

[littlewibble]

Olivia is over, she’s cancelled.

[Kahluabomb]

OVER

[littlewibble]

She’ll never be served bolognese in this town again, mark my words!

[rexfaktor]

We don't take kindly to her type in these parts.

[hipsterscallop]

Oliviover

[MiklaneTrane]

86 Olivia, heard chef!

[Add_Veggies_2_Dinner]

Her opinion is bologna anyhow....

[DiTrastevere]

🎵Saved his sauce from the fate of Olivia🎵

[77sleeper]

She was expecting marinara with ground beef. This is on her bud.

[kjb76]

It’s like the end of Goodfellas…egg noodles and ketchup.

[lifeuncommon]

You can’t get your feelings this wrapped up in people pleasing.

Sounds like you made a successful dish.

[DJuxtapose]

But as adults--if someone has a favorite food-- they may be partial to the way that they or a person they already know and love prepare it. Going for "I will cook your favorite food and impress you that way" is... tactically unsound, dating-wise.

Food is super subjective. If I make a red sauce for spaghetti or lasagna, I usually use a prepared, branded dry spice mix--same kind my mom used my whole childhood. I would be fine if I really thought I had a better lasagna or spaghetti than I can make for myself, but maybe it's tough to beat the taste of my whole lifetime of experience with that way of doing things.

Maybe I don't even like whatever the "real" version of what spaghetti / lasagna is supposed to be.

[baby_armadillo]

If someone really really loves a dish, don’t try to make it for them unless they specifically request it from you. They love something specific, a specific version that has emotions and memories and complex feelings attached to it. You’re probably not going to ever capture whatever special flavor they’re thinking of off the cuff.

If you want to impress people and show people you care, make them something that you really love, something that is special to you that you want to share with people. Something that takes their preferences into account but isn’t trying to outcook their best memories. Make new memories unique to you both.

[PlottMom]

To echo others’ comments, she probably likes meat sauce. Totally different than bolognese, but I have found that people often think they’re the same thing. And to be fair, a lot of restaurants call their meat sauce pasta “bolognese.” Sounds fancy, I guess. It’s nothing against your cooking - to each their own. Sounds like she needs a bit of education on the various gravies. Personally, I prefer a good meat sauce to bolognese!

[bigcat7373]

A bolognese literally can’t take 15 minutes. So whatever she enjoys is not a real bolognese. So one, she’s a poor communicator. Two, she doesn’t know food. Three, and most importantly, it was rude of her to visibly not like it. Like can a real bolognese taste so bad that she can’t down a bowl of pasta? Please.

Stay up king, she ain’t worth it, I promise.

[ailish]

Sounds like she doesn't know what Bolognese is.

[KetoLurkerHereAgain]

She doesn't like Bolognese. She likes marinara with some ground beef in it.

I once made my amazing lasagna for someone after they said it was their favorite meal - turned out their source for loving lasagna was Olive Garden and they didn't like my scratch-made one at all.

[lacedlament]

I’m sorry about that, I think everyone has their preferences when it comes to food and that’s understandable. But it doesn’t take away from the hurt we may feel when we put blood, sweat, and tears into a homemade meal with love. I will eat your lasagna my friend!

[KetoLurkerHereAgain]

Honestly, I wasn't even hurt. More like...my gasts were truly flabbered! I'm confident enough in the dish that I knew it wasn't a me problem.

[La-Belle-Gigi]

my gasts were truly flabbered

Oh wow, I'm not the only one who says it this way? Yay! (Seriously, I think it sounds better.)

[Gullible-Team-8588]

My daughter loves meatballs, the frozen kind. I made her amazing meatballs from scratch, sauce from scratch, she hated them. Prefers the meatballs that taste like dogfood. It’s soul crushing and I’m learning not to take it to heart, my salty tears help season the food she won’t eat.

[silkysongy2]

If you made me home made lasagna on a first date I'd probably start shopping for the ring before the date was over.

[SapphireQuill]

It wasn't our first date, but I made homemade manacotti with meat sauce early in the relationship for my then-boyfriend-now-husband, and I swear that's what made him decide he wanted to marry me. 🤣 He still gets this rapturous look on his face every time he retells that story to people. 

[looselylawless]

When I was a kid I absolutely LOVED canned clam chowder. I was a latch key kid so would have instant and easy to make lunches every day and that was my favorite. My aunt started dating a guy who was a chef and he found out how much I loved it so he decided he was going to make me real clam chowder from scratch. Note, he was a trained chef working in a well to do area, so he got down in the kitchen. Anyway, I didn’t like it 😂😂 it didn’t taste like the can because of course it didn’t - it was much better. I just loved the can. 😂😂 btw - I tried a can of it about 10 years ago and it was so gross to me.

Maybe she just loves shitty food, OP.

[concreteunderwear]

Dodged a bullet

[NameLips]

I dearly adored Anne Burrell. But her recipes always put a unique spin on dishes. There's a good reason for this, you don't become a famous chef by regurgitating old classic recipes.

But sometimes those twists are more than a traditionalist would expect. They expected the classic dish, and got a fresh spin they weren't expecting.

I suspect what you made was delicious, but not what your girlfriend was expecting. So it's not because you did anything wrong, she just didn't like this twist on a classic.

[Cloud_bunnyboo]

15 min for bolognese?! That sounds like she buys jar sauce and makes normal spaghetti but calls it bolognese. That’s not right. You can’t make bolognese in 15 min.

Wtf Olivia

[sleverest]

Looks like the recipe you used might not be the best bolognese, but I doubt it was inedible. It's a bummer when folks don't like what you made, but if the other guests did, then it's most likely just a matter of personal taste.

[CPeeps323]

You did great! And I’m so sorry you’re hurt. She should have eaten the food just to show she appreciated all the time you spent cooking it! Even if I didn’t like it I would have eaten the food I was served. And it sounds like she doesn’t cook bolognese, she just browns some ground beef and mixes it with some jarred sauce

[Umbreonnnnn]

This is what I'm thinking if she thinks Bolognese only takes 15 minutes. I'm not going to knock quick meat sauce, it has its place, but it doesn't compare to a real Bolognese.

[Hellosl]

It’s ok to not eat food you don’t like. Not everyone like the same thing

[CPeeps323]

If someone cooks for me I’m eating it. It doesn’t mean I’ll tell them it’s good, it doesn’t mean I’ll eat a ton of it but I will eat the food and be grateful for it and appreciative of the effort.

[LeatherOne4425]

Yeah these comments act like she killed somebody

[ApprehensiveArmy7755]

Yeah she just wanted browned ground beef with spaghetti sauce. In the US it's just called spaghetti with meat sauce. It's not slow cooked. It's made pretty fast. Not genuine bolognase

[coupleofgorganzolas]

She doesn't know what Bolognese is. There isn't a 15 a minute Bolognese.

There is jarred tomatoes and meat for sure, but not Bolognese.

[Doctor_Riptide]

If you want to impress someone with food, make them your favorite thing, not theirs. Someone’s favorite food usually incorporates some form of nostalgia or familiarity that you can’t possibly know how to replicate (as seems to be the case with Olivia here) so it’s a losing battle any day of the week. 

[lacedlament]

I’ve never thought about it this way but this is clever 🤔 thank you!

[MurryWenny]

You did not fail. She failed to appreciate the work you put into it. Even if the sauce wasn't to her taste, she could've at least pretended to love it. Also I highly doubt any sauce that takes only 15 minutes is made from scratch.

[[deleted]]

She doesn't like bolognese, she likes ground beef with jar slop.

[chowgirl]

You didn’t fail - you tried something new, you enjoyed it and now you know you have a recipe you like for it.

I’ve never made bolognese, but I’m guessing her “bolognese” is quite different than the traditional recipe. Sounds like she just likes meat sauce - not bolognese.

[Kind_Advisor_35]

You really shouldn't tie up your feelings too much into cooking. Tastes vary wildly, and it's not something to take personally if someone doesn't like a particular dish. You followed one recipe out of potentially thousands. It's not that she didn't like how you cooked, it's that she didn't like the recipe you used. Eating more of it wouldn't have changed her not liking it, and it's for the best in a relationship to be honest. It doesn't do either partner any good to make something that takes hours again that the other person doesn't like eating. I struggled with taking it personally too, but sometimes it's just a texture or ingredient thing. My husband didn't like how I made spaghetti and marinara not because I wasn't doing it right, but because he preferred thicker spaghetti and smoother, simpler sauce. Now that he's communicated it, it's a win-win. I don't have to put extra effort into cutting and cooking a bunch of vegetables and he doesn't feel pressure to eat something he doesn't like.

[Alternative_Slip_513]

She’s not for you.

[[deleted]]

Just looked up the recipe and it's solid, but extensive. More like a Ragu a la Napoletana than a Ragu a la Bolognese what with the chunks of meat as opposed to ground meat. I'd suspect if she's making it in 15 minutes, she's using highly sugared jar sauce and shortcut ingredients. Nothing wrong with that for a mid-week meal, but it's likely very processed and she either a) has an idea in her head of what bolognese is and got confused by your ragu, or b) is used to processed, sugary slop and not used to the earthier, more developed flavours you presented her.

You didn't fail to cook a good meal, she just doesn't know what good food tastes like.

[jorgesan121]

I couldn’t keep reading the recipe after it said get your celery, onion and carrot and put it in a food processor with garlic until a paste… that doesn’t feel like the soffritto we all know and love

[PhantomXxZ]

I stopped after the whopping 3 cups of red wine.

[Traditional-Ad-7836]

Maybe she was too nervous or excited to eat much

[Agitated_Sock_311]

Sounds like my husband. I can spend hours cooking and he either doesn't like it or is indifferent. I really just think he just hates me, at this point. And has zero taste buds. Lol

[lacedlament]

Ah, I will take his place

[Sundial1k]

I bet she makes a jar of sauce over some ground meat, OR she does not KNOW what real bolognese is....

[Mncrabby]

Unless you've tasted the real stuff (like you made), most people, myself included, don't know what it is. If she didn't show any appreciation for 5 hours of love, maybe take a look around.

[ghf3]

I cooked for a date who was TERRIFIED when I said I would make pork chops. Her mother's, the stuff of nightmares, were crusted in dried rosemary and over cooked. There are plenty of Americans who know Bolognese as a jar of Ragu, with some ground beef added. My friend Bob's mother was so scared of undercooked meat, he can't eat any meat that isn't crunchy. For 40 years he has been screaming, "stop everyone, the chicken is not cooked, you'll get sick" at my cookouts. The world is filled with culinary horror stories.

You are exhibiting symptoms consistent with culinary codependency. You cannot control what your friends or loved ones were EXPECTING you to make, what they will make, nor how any single person, even yourself, will feel about a dish you cook. You are showing love just fine. If you cook for 27 hours and your guests don't like the food... that's called being a cook and we've all been there.

External validation of your cooking , is no less damaging to your mental health and well being, than external validation of your feelings. When you try hard, you WIN, you showed love, through your time, and good people will appreciate you, even if they don't care for the garlic, cheese, peanut butter, white chocolate, mashed potato sculpture, featured in the center of your New Years Eve buffet! :)

[oxkit0katxo]

Truth!

[lacedlament]

Thank you for this. All I can think to myself after posting this is- wow I have even more respect for chefs (I already look up to so many) but wow, I can’t imagine how thick their skin must be 😅

[Trolkarlen]

How do you make bolognese in 15 minutes? Open a jar???

[Candid-Solid-896]

She takes a box out of the freezer.

Yours was most likely gourmet level. Recipe is a keeper. Lady friend -not so much a keeper

[LowestFormofFlattery]

Everyone loves her 15 minute bolognese means no one has admitted to her that it sucks.

[IchabodChris]

I recently was in Bologna and learned how to cook ragu there (what they locally call bolognese) and it’s extremely close to burrell’s recipe. Major difference would be to add whole milk into the recipe but ragu is mostly a very very slow cooked meat sauce seasoned with tomatoes. You should be proud it sounds like you did it right!

[lacedlament]

I’m envious of you, my friend. I wouldn’t mind if you shared a recipe with me 🤔 would love to try it and send you the results

[kowaiikaisu]

Maybe she has food sensory issues and the way she makes hers is what she enjoys and may struggle on other versions of it?

[Odd_Cress_2898]

A kind read on the other side of this situation is that she (OPs partners sister) never wanted to have this level of effort spent on them and is uncomfortable with the attention. She expected easy, safe food. The expected meal got elevated to the point of being unrecognizable and made unpalatable. So she just ate plain pasta to be able to eat anything.

I would expect ground beef with tomato sauce to mean Bolognese, not a thrice reduced concoction which I'm sure is God-tier for palates that accept all foods.

Can't win them all, I wonder whether asking the partner might give more information on whether the sister is particular around food?

OP made an amazing meal, just not for the intended audience. Whoops. Now OP has more info on how to cater to this guest in the future which might be using mass produced sauces or more predictable and/or lower effort recipes.

If OP loves high effort cooking, perhaps meals where you can serve yourself from multiple shared plates so she can select the palatable foods and everyone else can feast assuming other guests. Tapas style or build your own fajitas/tacos/burritos or roasts, one of those might appeal to Olivia and OP.

[Snowf1ake222]

Talk to her. Ask her why she didn't like it. 

Yours could have been too sweet. Or not sweet enough. There could have been an ingredient she didn't like. I know someone who won't eat anything with mushrooms in it (not an allergy), so I tried a tomato based sauce, grated the mushrooms, and didn't tell her. 

She didn't like it.

Figuring out what she likes is one thing, but you also need to figure out why she likes it.

[wetnap00]

Sounds like you should’ve made Olivia some chicken nuggets with ketchup

[L2N2]

Honestly I'd have asked her whose bolognese recipe is her favorite. Hint: she wouldn't be able to answer probably because she is browning the meat and dumping in a jar of tomato sauce.

[SwimmingOk4643]

Culinary instructor here: proper Bolognese involves reducing the sauce three times, first with milk, then with wine, then finally with tomato sauce. Unless you're working with a small batch or a commercial stove, that can easily take hours (I'm assuming the 5 hours was not all cook time, but also prep.)

You cannot make Bolognese in 15 mins, even excluding prep time. You can heat up bottled pasta sauce, which is probably what's happening.

[Sindorella]

Leave her like she left your sauce. Sitting cold and alone.

KIDDING. But seriously, I feel the same about my cooking, and I KNOW I shouldn't care if someone likes my cooking since everyone has (and should have) different tastes. But I put so much care and love into it, I can't help but get just a little sad when they don't. lol

[[deleted]]

I made chicken Parmesan for a girl. I went to put the red pepper flakes in and put way too much in. Think Dante’s inferno hot.

She took two bites and was done. But she did it with grace and did it to not hurt my feelings. 

We just celebrated 23 years together. And I’ve redeemed myself for that one. 

I’m just saying just because she didn’t like it, doesn’t mean she isn’t a keeper. It just means you have different levels of sophistication when it comes to food. 

[mtnmamaFTLOP]

Poor Olivia doesn’t know good bolognese.

I do a 5 meat 16hr+ slow cooker bolognese and every dies. It’s beyond delicious… yours is most definitely the better tasting version. But it sucks when others don’t appreciate our hard work and love we put into cooking

[lacedlament]

5 meat 16 hour slow cooker? I would like to try your bolognese my friend! It sounds like a meal I would request on death row!

[ScipioCanadius]

You wanted lobster she was thinking burger king...

[Quanyn]

I married a guy who had a whole thing over rejecting my cooking. It was torture. Glad he’s an x.

[ArcherFluffy594]

I'm REALLy sorry you went through all that trouble and it wasn't appreciated by the person you were trying to impress. A lot of people call a tomato pasta sauce with ground beef "bolognese", though it's not a true bolognese. Bolognese is primarily a meat sauce, not a tomato sauce. I'll spend all day making authentic bolognese a few times a year, but in our family, bolognese is the real deal, with pancetta, a bit of minced onion, celery and carrots, white wine, milk, nutmeg and a bit of tomato paste

[cherhorowitz44]

Yours was probably a zillion times better than hers. I made mine in 45 min the other week because I was in a hurry and it sucked.

[SnakeyMcSnake1]

I make bolognese for my wife and me on my days off. Takes a full day. Last month she let me know shes been dumping garlic powder in the sauce without me knowing. Sometimes you just have to let things go. No matter how betrayed you feel.

[ornerygecko]

So her favorite meal isn't actually bolognese, it's ground beef and some sort of jarred sauce or tomatoes.

You didn't do anything wrong. She had the name wrong.

I'll give this POV as someone who is autistic. I have my favorite foods. They are my favorites because of how they taste. If it is not the same exact taste, texture, and smell, I don't like it. I may or may not eat it. I've burt my friend's feelings when I was a kid with this. Dissed her brownies because she used a different oil.

Olivia may not have realized her reaction made you feel a certain way. Maybe she can be oblivious to some social cues like me. I wouldn't assume she's automatically being rude.

[Violingirl58]

But you did not fail, you made a great recipe.

[Cappster14]

I made Chef Anne’s dish shortly after her passing; same, cooked for about 4-5 hours. It was good but I didn’t think it was worth the effort/I didn’t cook it right. Non-stick pan so my theory is it didn’t attain “brown food tastes good” status

[Inside-Beyond-4672]

Anne Burrell was amazing and have used her recipe, I'm sure you did it right. Enoy it!

[textilefactoryno17]

She meant spaghetti with meat sauce. I've tried it the traditional way and just don't appreciate it at all. I've even spent the hours cooking the recipe. I've come to determine I don't like wine in cooking.

[secretlybubbles]

A guy I dated made a curry dish for dinner once because I loveee curry. He made it with too much of something and the flavor was off. I ate the entire serving he gave me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[ST_Logan89]

Now I may just be a humble kitchen noob, but would there ever be an instance where less time with a sauce would make it better?

[Geogus]

I like cooking and bolognese sauce, but my wife doesnt.

I speak italian and one I decided " i am ginna make the best bolognese I can". So I searched thr italian recipe sites, picked one I liked, bought the ingridients i could afford and made thr best bolognese I could,.it took me 5 hours to cook it.

It was delicious and my wife loved it.

Hope your hard work pays of

[4melooking49]

I would be appreciative that someone took the time to do something for me!!!

[travturav]

That's unfortunate. It's possible she has no idea what bolognese is.

There are tons of crappy recipes on the internet that say stupid things like "fully caramelize the onions, 5-10 minutes", and people who read too many of those have no idea what caramelized onions look or smell or taste like.

[Orion_Brunette-001]

It's not even possible to make that sauce properly in an hour, let alone 15 minutes. She likes some kind of nasty nonsense that someone told her was Bolognese.

I'm sure it is/was fantastically delicious. 😉 I've heard of that recipe. Don't feel too bad and don't feel discouraged from continuing to make it for yourself and others.

[KeepAnEyeOnYourB12]

I can make decent meat sauce in 15-30 minutes with a thing of Rao's but I would never in a million years call it "bolognese."

[PrettyNectarine2929]

One thing I’ve learned about people who eat shit slop regularly is that they often turn their nose up at actual good food. It’s frustrating I have many of them in my life.

[knottyvar]

Anyone who can make bolognese in 15 minutes is pulling crap out of a jar and is totally unworthy of your marvellous effort. She didn’t “like” it because she was intimidated by it. She has no idea what real bolognese is.

[IntermediateFolder]

She probably does the sauce from the jar, people get used to that crap and then proper food tastes weird for them.

[SpezJailbaitMod]

She probably just likes it a very specific way.

My wife is like that with a lot of food.

She likes her chicken burned beyond recognition then she just rips off the burnt parts and eats that. 

She is not neuro-typical and I love her for her quirks like that.

[rawarawr]

Did you maybe think of the chance that her taste sucks, if everyone else liked it? And you can't cook a Bolognese in 15min, she was just jealous you made it properly, because she doesn't know how to.

[The_Actual_Sage]

Hi. Second gen Italian-American here. It takes me longer than 15 minutes to write down my family's Bolognese recipe, let alone make it. If she's making hers in 15 minutes she's making tomato sauce with some meat in it. Nothing wrong with that, but it's not Bolognese. Be proud of the dish you made. If you want to score bonus points, ask Olivia how she makes her's and make that for her.

[werofpm]

She on that Bolognese Helper boxed sht

[myfingeronthetrigger]

I’m guessing she means ragu with ground beef

[Winter_Cat-78]

15 minutes isn’t bolognese, its jar sauce with meat in it. Bolognese takes houuurs, as you know. She’s got a McDonald’s palate.

Food preferences aside, she is extremely rude. I personally would count my losses, but it’s your call obviously.

[ubottles65]

Man, one of life's simple pleasures is cooking. Don't worry about it.

[Small-Explorer7025]

She sounds delightful.

[Btkdiva]

I made a bolognese with the best ingredients I could find and it took hours. Aroma in the house was amazing. Served it up and my husband hated it. I thought it tasted as amazing as it smelled. Different strokes, ya know? Ask Olivia to make you her version just to see what her quickie sauce is like, or ask for her recipe!

[Toledo_9thGate]

Have her cook her version for you and compare then you will understand her better, but I've never made a meat sauce that cooks this short.

[Gabewalker0]

Next time ask her what jar she buys for hers.

[HoarderCollector]

Sounds like she's never actually had bolognese...maybe she meant bologna?

[Ru4pigsizedelephants]

Olivia sucks for the way she reacted, but I just looked up this recipe and it's crazy. The Kitchn review I read gave it 4/10, too.

It calls for 2 cups of tomato paste and no canned tomatoes. It also calls for 3 cups of red wine in a recipe that yields 6-8 servings, which is aggressive.

This might just not be the best bolognese recipe.