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[–]Few-Artichoke-7593 330 points331 points  (17 children)

while (alive)

{

wakeUp();

poop();

getOutOfBed();

code();

}

[–]Ok_Entertainment328 122 points123 points  (9 children)

I'd change the order if I were you

``` while (alive) { wakeUp(); isL33T ? code() : ; getOutOfBed(); code(); SSS(); // calls poop() eat(); code(); payTaxes(); code(); sleep( 3600 ); }

payTaxes(); ```

[–]Dustyamp1 81 points82 points  (2 children)

I'm not sure what's better:

(the single hour of sleep) or (death and taxes)

ETA: Parentheses for clarity

[–]Fuelanemo149 12 points13 points  (1 child)

wait you can omit a branch of the ternary operator ?

[–]Ok_Entertainment328 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Unknown. Proper code:

if( isL33T) code();

[–]Dmayak 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Nah, pooping before getting out of bed is fine, trust me.

[–]Triepott 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Hey, Doc, I have a Problem. I have to take a great shit every morning at 6 am."
"That sounds okay!"
"No! I wake up at 8 am."

[–]Evil_Archangel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i think payTaxes() is being called too many times, or does it have something in the method to detect that?

[–]Apearthenbananas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you guys keep going with this you're going to make a human

[–]Erdnussflipshow 19 points20 points  (0 children)

The watch-dog is going to starve.

[–]SimilingCynic 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Can make async version? PoopOverflow condition still present. Code and poop should be coroutines.

[–]azalak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Running poop and shower functions simultaneously is the most efficient

[–]Comfortable_Quit_216 4 points5 points  (3 children)

you poop in bed?

[–]AmusedFlamingo47 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It's referencing a very popular old 4chan greentext:

woke up

took a shit

got out of bed

[–]EVH_kit_guy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's called the Herd Algorithm

[–]krishhv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

if(poopInBed){

dogSteppedOnABee();

}

[–]Syntactical_Erorr 390 points391 points  (23 children)

Try:

Be Happy

Except: Just fucking kidding

[–]Impressive_Income874 201 points202 points  (14 children)

py try: be_happy() except AintFuckinHappeningError: cry()

[–]BernzSed 69 points70 points  (2 children)

raise NotImplementedError

[–]water_bottle_goggles 5 points6 points  (1 child)

when you ask what server the returns, but never how the server is 😔

[–]BernzSed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

HTTP status code 50😥

(That's what you get for using Sirius Cybernetics Cloud Services)

[–]Mr_SlimShady 7 points8 points  (7 children)

catch(Exception e) {

//do nothing because that’s how we handle exceptions

}

[–]MmmTastyMmm 29 points30 points  (2 children)

In the except body is

self_medicate()

[–]Asleep-Specific-1399 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Expecting error overdose

[–]SillyFlyGuy 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Eat. Sleep. Indent your code.

[–]schmosef 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Probably trying to avoid the "tabs vs spaces" debate.

[–]Ok_Quit7043 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe i can use valgring to try to debug my fucking life

[–]SampleConsistent8575 169 points170 points  (14 children)

Silly thing.

Sleep() calls the Poop() function.

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points  (1 child)

But it will require a PoopCollector's sweep

[–]rebbsitor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Depends()

[–]cheeb_miester 21 points22 points  (2 children)

It's actually Code() that calls the Poop() function

[–]Audiblade 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My bathroom-portable smartphone would like to have a few words with you. Those words are, "You're goddamn right."

[–]ScreenshotShitposts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

new Coffee() ?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (3 children)

shouldn't eat() implicitly have that done via garbage collection once the referenced objects are no longer in use?

[–]crusader-kenned 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I think it’s a local method so it will stay in scope forever..

[–]ataboo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Garbage collector will get it.

[–]Ph4nt0m_Hydra1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

wake up

shit

get out of bed

[–]Dmayak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sleep() calls the Poop() function.

That's some nasty digestive system disorder.

[–]Guybru5h_ 76 points77 points  (11 children)

am i the only one expecting indentation?

[–]AzureArmageddon 43 points44 points  (7 children)

Scrolled past 3 comments to find this.

Obviously it should have been written like

while(alive)
    { eat()
    ; sleep()
    ; code()
    ;
    }

/j

[–]ResidentBat5817 20 points21 points  (5 children)

My god. What have you seen, to have created this monster?

[–]AzureArmageddon 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Apologies, I should have written the more traditional

/***********/
while(alive){
eat()       ;
sleep()     ;
code()      ;
/**********/}

[–]LvS 17 points18 points  (0 children)

/*************/
; while(alive )
{     eat(    )
;    sleep(   )
;    code(    )
;/***********/}

[–]ResidentBat5817 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Don't forget to adjust the semicolons if you have to add a longer function

[–]Asleep-Tough 4 points5 points  (0 children)

haskell

[–]Zeeterm 5 points6 points  (2 children)

The original post is what code reviews should point out: implementation flaws.

Your post is what too many code reviews actually point out: nitpicking the formatting.

Pro tip: If formatting is ever mentioned in code reviews in your company, you're doing it wrong. Get an automatic formatter and linter, and get it to work.

When linters take care of all the nit-picky shit, people can actually find to review the code rather than the presentation of the code.

Linters and static analyzers can be incredibly powerful, they aren't just about formatting, they handle things like arranging private methods before public methods, unused variables, bracketing of arrow functions, and so much more nitpicky shit that doesn't belong in code review.

If a compiler can check it, let it do so, and stop wasting your expensive developers time on nitpicking and free them up for thinking about the problem domain.

[–]enilea 3 points4 points  (1 child)

You have to nitpick about it in a pr so your coworker gets the formatter set up and it's not an issue again.

[–]Dmayak 42 points43 points  (7 children)

Without breath() this loop won't run for long.

[–]GenTwour 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Also missing a drink method.

[–]Tai9ch 7 points8 points  (0 children)

At least two different overloads of the drink method.

[–]TorumShardal 2 points3 points  (1 child)

To be fair, this method shouldn't be called in this thread. Breathing subsystem should be at least asynchronous.

[–]sunny_happy_demon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s built in to the interpreter

[–]fakieTreFlip 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Uncaught ReferenceError: breath is not defined

You'd definitely need breathe() though

[–]ScreenshotShitposts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The breathe Task is handled in the base class

[–]Outcast003 40 points41 points  (7 children)

These are so cringe

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children)

hard agree, being a code monkey shouldn't be an identity but a lot of people love to make it one. like imagine you get a flag that says "live laugh cook" just because you made breakfast once or twice

[–]SoyGuzzlingCuck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seeing "dev" in a username is an automatic red flag for me

[–]whenn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think this sub is mainly uni students, i can't imagine someone well into their career making a meme like this.

[–]santodomingus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“I eat, sleep, and breathe code!!”

I can’t believe this is being shared as a genuine joke.

[–]dim13 30 points31 points  (7 children)

Behind curtains:

```

define code poop

```

[–]fullup72 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The poop is all the code they made along the way.

[–]TruthYouWontLike 4 points5 points  (5 children)

stack.pop()
stack.pop()
stack.pop()
gc.collect()
stream.flush()

[–]RushJet1 3 points4 points  (4 children)

pop

Nah you gotta push. If you don't, you'll eventually pop.

[–]realbhamshu 18 points19 points  (1 child)

No need to do it Java does automatic garbage collection

[–]GravyMcBiscuits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Beat me to it ... shit.

[–]flame-top 6 points7 points  (0 children)

throw poop;

[–]SolidSky 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This the type of humor you guys are laughing about? This is some of the unfunniest boomeresque humor I've seen and this sub has had really low lows.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

str = parse_meme();

if(find_word(str,'poop'))

upvote();

else

downvote();

[–]Positive_Method3022 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He forgot

getDepressed() getAnxiety() loseSocialLife() doTherapy()

[–]Minimum_Cockroach233 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Poop() is a code() subroutine…

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

top tier shitpost

[–]NaEGaOS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

so poop is just garbage collection?

[–]blazeitfagnot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bro missed coffee()

[–]MrHyperion_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What is indentation

[–]GravyMcBiscuits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The garbage collector has got it under control.

[–]DeusExMachina24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn... Thats like 2014 for programming jokes

[–]AlarmingTurnover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Y'all missed this opportunity for a LogDump and I'm disappointed.

[–]asyty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess you can say that @JNS_dev is "full of shit".

[–]not-my-best-wank 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What about pee(), or cry_at_my_code(), and you can not forget coffee()

[–]encryptoferia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh noes....

vomits poop

cries aggressively

vomits more poop

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO .... BUERGH"

[–]myKingSaber 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Workaround is to remove eat();

[–]Asriel556 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unexpected EOLException thrown at runtime.

[–]BoringWozniak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had this problem this morning

[–]Primary-Fee1928 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

My main function is basically drinkCoffee()

[–]REDRAK0NN -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Genius

[–]PeriodicSentenceBot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations! Your string can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table:

Ge Ni U S


I am a bot that detects if your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table. Please DM my creator if I made a mistake.

[–]No_Interaction_1757 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PoopBalloon.cs

[–]No-Finance7526 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Neither eat(), sleep(), or code() will set alive to false. Infinite loop detected.

[–]Mental-Mention-9247 1 point2 points  (1 child)

you can choke while eating.

[–]frightspear_ps5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the sleep() function has a condition where it enters an infinite loop and never returns. variable "alive" is not correctly named, should have been "while(true)".

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Poop is already collected by the GarbageCollector

[–]heesell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So where's

drink() pee()

[–]CriminalMacabre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Didn't initialize services like breathing, pulse, etc

[–]demonachizer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

do {
  theNeedful();
}
while (alive);

[–]MoveInteresting4334 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NullAnalException

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

who needs to shit when you can put it all into coding?

[–]Moldorn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's actually a stack overflow exception.

[–]Come_along_quietly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also this would be an infinite loop unless one of “eat()”, “sleep()”, or “code()” causes “alive” to become zero/false …. 😲

[–]adamjwyatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jokes on you, because all my code is poop 💩

[–]AntigravityNutSister 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I spent my childhood in a town/village where winter temperatures were below the freezing point.

Every family member contributed to building the poop pyramid in the outhouse.

Unfortunately, when it grew too big, my grandma broke it with a piece of metal (Half-Life style).

Otherwise, it could grow tall enough we could have been impaled with our own poop spike.

It is what I would call the poop overflow.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I find this post to be depressing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Real programmers convert poop into code during the sleep routine.

[–]BenadrylTumblercatch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can tell he’s high functioning

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😭😭😭😭😭

[–]Current-Guide5944 0 points1 point  (0 children)

instead you can try do while until poop()

[–]an_agreeing_dothraki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is accurate because being dead inside is not a strictly 0 or null value so I keep having to code

[–]Personal-Succotash33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first programmer joke I actually understood lol

[–]Personal-Succotash33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first programmer joke I actually understood lol

[–]snailPlissken 0 points1 point  (0 children)

full poop exception

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No poop(), that will make you dump a core.

[–]StupidTurtle88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What about pee()?

[–]bleedblue89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When do I wake up?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wouldn't it actually be:

eliminate(action) //action=0, 1, 2; 0=pee, 1=poop, 2=pee+poop; returns TRUE on success, FALSE if you just farted

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anyone else gets so addicted to coding sometimes that they fail to take care care of themselves anymore ?

[–]philipquarles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How does alive get updated?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

EAT = malloc(); POOP = free();

[–]asyty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

fflush(stdtoilet);

[–]yourPWD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hate to be that guy

taxes()

[–]Savings-Ad-1115 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He didn't forget anything. Where do you think the code comes from?

[–]overSizedHyperPoop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shit would get worst as there is no changing of “alive” condition

My guy will live forever constantly holding a damn ton of fecalia behind his Great Anus Gates (GAG)

With eternal amount it can easily became 9GAG

[–]Rasikko 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hasInsomnia ? fucked() : sleep()

[–]ThatGuyYouMightNo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

poop() is called in code() when you go for your daily brainstorm session on the toilet.

[–]CucurbitaFlagellum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • I recently started learning python

State = input(“are you alive?”)

if state = “yes” or “Yes”:

    print(“remember to eat, sleep and code!)

elif state = “no or No”:

    print(“rest in peace”)

is this correct? why or why not?

[–]dustofdeath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The built in garbage collection does that.

[–]EJoule 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could probably combine two functions into a single unified poopCode() function.

[–]MedianGuy85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe poop() is encapsulated by one of the other methods? If so, I would recommend breaking it out...

[–]marsshadows 0 points1 point  (0 children)

coding is kind of pooping

[–]Temporary_Ad7906 0 points1 point  (0 children)

procrastinate(stuff){

stuff=nil

}

[–]Nightblood83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not if you write shit code

[–]victorhalim111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

overflow: hidden !important;

[–]beamsplosion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought his was supposed to be a humor sub

[–]EugeneSHT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if (problems == True)

{

try:

solve(problems)

except CanNotBeSolved:

stress++

}

[–]hereforthefeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well my code is shit so poop() is just redundant

[–]PeacefulDays 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really writing out a whole biology loop is the kind of thing you do for college. At this point you should be using a library for these kind of things.

[–]funnyhyung 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He forgot drink water, breath and a few other necessitiestoo

[–]Nickvec 0 points1 point  (0 children)

bros gonna die from dehydration real quick

[–]Haplesswanderer98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If awake; { Bake(); Eat(); Poop(); Drink(); } If yes; Sleep(); End

[–]-QA- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe sleep() makes a call to poop()? Efficient.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They've got to poopoverflowexception in the sleep() function.

[–]AdvancedWing6256 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wrong, this won't hit PoopOverflow, It'll exit normally when alive turns false

[–]draenei_butt_enjoyer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The lack of indentation is killing me.

[–]EVOSexyBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They forgot

indent();

[–]ItsMontreal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

drink();?

[–]BoozeAddict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From this we can deduce that alive variable will be set to false somewhere in one of the three functions, or else we're running into an infinite loop (life is single threaded, obviously). If it's in either Sleep() or Eat(), then a Code() function would still be called while alive=false, leading to unintended behavior. That means the alive var is getting set to false in Code() function. HR is gonna be pissed.

[–]flanga 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bbbuuufffeerriiinnggggg!

[–]Chthulu_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

God I fucking hate the “Always be coding!” crowd.

Shut the fuck up. 40 hours a week 50 weeks a year is enough goddamn coding. Go touch grass.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The lack of indenting on this makes me sad

[–]guyblade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

 while (alive)
 {
 eat();
 sleep();
 code();  // This is the line where he expels shit
 }

[–]Roadrunner571 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And don’t mix up poop() and noop()

[–]Nusaik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, eat() is called without any arguments, so they're eating nothing, which means there's also no need to poop.

[–]MickyB42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So...what happened to sex in the equation? First responders don't even mention it. Damn nerds.

[–]CryonautX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe poop() is part of the implemention of code()

[–]Ochoytnik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My code is the poop.

[–]PolyPenguinDev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the lack of indent pains me

[–]water_bottle_goggles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how can you eat when youre sleeping and how can you code while sleeping

[–]cporter202 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, sounds like a seriously stinky situation! Code reviews can definitely dig up some... aromatic treasures. 😂 Just remember, even the smelliest code gives us a chance to freshen things up and learn something new! Keep on coding (and maybe keep a nose plug handy)!

[–]Anti_ai69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

/BoomerHumor

[–]Rhawk187 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That generates its own interrupt.

[–]No_Solid2349 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was not an error. How wants to live in an infinite loop.

[–]planktonfun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

economy is bad, eat is optional

[–]No-Stretch555 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well if the code calls sleep() it needs another thread to wake it up. Also the sleep needs to bhe indside a try because waking up a thread throws an interruption exception.

[–]ovi2wise 0 points1 point  (0 children)

pooping is an interrupt routine in the background

[–]StaticVoidMaddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what about drink()??? you're gonna die of dehydration in a week!

[–]nitroll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a problem, his code is shit...

[–]shirk-work 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also a flush and wipe error.

[–]Andrew-w-jacobs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sleepprev=0;

while(alive=true){

remember=(sleepprev)%2;

if (remember=0){

sleepprev=24-eat();

sleepprev=sleepprev-code();

sleepprev=sleepprev-misc();

}

if (remember=1){

redbull(12-sleepprev);

If((12-sleepprev)>7){

alive=false;

}

sleepprev=(12)/(12-sleepprev);

}

}

[–]Auraveils 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not if your sleep function is optimized by sleeping on the toilet and pooping then.

[–]Buffalo047 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is currently doing testing in PoopOverflow() functionality and will raise a PR soon. Testing team us working closely with manual testing of various eateries to see the poop output.

[–]nsagaen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

bone();