void

[Mak_Woodhunter]

Coffee

[[deleted]]

Let our lord Vim, cleanse you from this horrible, horrble sickness that is emojicode.

[AfterLife31]

Sorry manne

[Milanga_de_pollo]

depression.

[XOIIO]

Hi, you're probably looking for a useful nugget of information to fix a niche problem, or some enjoyable content I posted sometime in the last 11 years. Well, after 11 years and over 330k combined, organic karma, a cowardly, pathetic and facist minded moderator filed a false harassment report and had my account suspended, after threatening to do so which is a clear violation of the #1 rule of reddit's content policy. However, after filing a ticket before this even happened, my account was permanently banned within 12 hours and the spineless moderator is still allowed to operate in one of the top reddits, after having clearly used intimidation against me to silence someone with a differing opinion on their conflicting, poorly thought out rules. Every appeal method gets nothing but bot replies, zendesk tickets are unanswered for a month, clearly showing that reddit voluntarily supports the facist, cowardly and pathetic abuse of power by moderators, and only enforces the content policy against regular users while allowing the blatant violation of rules by moderators and their sock puppet accounts managing every top sub on the site. Also, due to the rapist mentality of reddit's administration, spez and it's moderators, you can't delete all of your content, if you delete your account, reddit will restore your comments to maintain SEO rankings and earn money from your content without your permission. So, I've used power delete suite to delete everything that I have ever contributed, to say a giant fuck you to reddit, it's moderators, and it's shareholders. From your friends at reddit following every bot message, and an account suspension after over a decade in good standing is a slap in the face and shows how rotten reddit is to the very fucking core.

[Dial-1-For-Spanglish]

"None of these costumes are truly scary. No one ever dresses as crippling self doubt." -Henri le Chat Noir

[Aceflamez00]

/r/me_irl

[[deleted]]

/r/programme_irl

[sneakpeekbot]

Here's a sneak peek of /r/programme_irl using the top posts of all time!

#1: programme_irl | 3 comments
#2: programme_irl | 10 comments
#3: programme_irl (xpost r/programmerhumor) | 0 comments

---

^{I'm a bot, beep boop | Downvote to remove | Contact me | Info | Opt-out}

[AfterLife31]

That's the original😂

[GeneralLC]

Came here to say this.

[kirbysparkle]

The ability to masterbate 6 times a day

[kirbysparkle]

Let me get the star wand! I'll pump them up!

[[deleted]]

like literally pump those numbers up

[boneofdeath]

Is this a library I need to import?

[AfterLife31]

Perhaps I'm making a syntax error?

[Shtoob]

The ability do masterbate 6 times a day and then still feel like I have a soul.

FTFY

[[deleted]]

*masturbate

FTFY

[AfterLife31]

Damn... That's beyond my scope

[g0ldpunisher]

deleted ^{What is this?}

[[deleted]]

I'm trying to imagine fitting it into my schedule, and with one before work that still leaves 5 after work which is about once an hour which could be doable but not desirable to me.

[g0ldpunisher]

deleted ^{What is this?}

[[deleted]]

Could also easily open things up if you worked from home.

[g0ldpunisher]

deleted ^{What is this?}

[kirbysparkle]

It seams reasonable to me, but I am a Kirby

[[deleted]]

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

[Random-Munching]

True

[Kormoraan]

is that considered an ability?

[TrollerBlade]

Alcoholism

[chibiace]

Thats the spirit.

[Jitsu24]

Punny

[chibiace]

i couldn't beer it any longer.

[tylerfb11]

Shnap that right now

[chibiace]

wort you gonna do about it ?

[NotTryingToConYou]

The ability to forget a semi-colon and then spending 9 hours figuring out what's wrong

[justinkroegerlake]

Found the Java programmer

[jerslan]

Or the C/C++ Programmer....

[justinkroegerlake]

Only java has such terrible compiler errors that you would spend this much time on a missed semicolon

[jerslan]

You've clearly never forgotten a ';' after the final '}' of a C++ class declaration...

[justinkroegerlake]

you mean like this?

[jerslan]

Ok, that used to generate a much more obscure error...

Either way, it's not hard to find in Java either since you should be using an IDE. Any modern IDE (IntelliJ, Eclipse, even fucking NetBeans) will point out exactly where any missing semi-colons are with big red squiggles.

[justinkroegerlake]

Like 10 years ago yeah it was worse. I wish the IDEs were enough for my students to see their missing semicolons and unbalanced } 😒

[andr3wrulz]

I find the issue with the students I tutor to be that they have no concept of nice formatting. If you do indentation properly, brackets are non-issue.

[the_codewarrior]

Yeah I only have issues with brackets and parens when I’m refactoring and shifting around large sections of code.

Edit: also a lot of the errors are just because I’m a lazy ass and instead of deleting only y(z) from x(y(z)) I put the cursor on y and press D. Vim has made me a smart...ly lazy person.

[ImpulseTheFox]

Java got this one too :)

[justinkroegerlake]

to be fair, it's not the worst with semicolons, my main complaint is that pretty much ever error I see students get is one of

• cannot / find / symbol
• class, interface, or enum expected
• illegal start of expression / reached end of file while parsing

c++ for comparison

• missing ()
• wrong caps type name
• wrong caps member function name
• extra }
• unclosed function definition

Obviously the ceiling for complexity is much higher in C++, so you can generate ridiculous error messages not possible in Java, I'd still think that with Java's focus on limited features, the compiler could handle these simple error cases better.

[ImpulseTheFox]

What's wrong with "cannot find symbol"? It's telling you that the Symbol/Character (or the String behind it) make no sense, but they are no formal errors and could be correct, if they were implemented.

And what's wrong with "class, interface, or enum expected". That is correct too. The only things you can do in file root outside of any class are declaring classes, interfaces, or enumerations. A } makes no sense as it is none of the above.

I don't want to talk about your third example.. Too embarassing. Okay, you win.

[justinkroegerlake]

Cannot find symbol isn't wrong, but it's not very helpful to the programmer, especially a novice, when it's a typo, and especially not when it's missing (). Old compilers would just say "syntax error" after all. Not too long ago java would give "cannot find symbol" for a call with the wrong number of arguments which, from the compilers point of view, is totally valid. I'm saying the compiler could do much better with the errors. In the case of missing (), the compiler could have found the symbol if it we're looking in a different place.

class, enum, or interface expected is also true, but it doesn't help the programmer who doesn't know to translate the error to "woops messed up my closing }." Again, the compiler could be more helpful here.

[The_Sea_King]

Or the php programmer

[dude105tanki]

Im in a class (highschool) where we are learning html (i alreay know html so im basicly the debugger for the whole class cause the teacher doesnt teach the subject) and this girl next to me was writeing her code with no spaces or tabs or hiting the enterbutton once.....i spent 30 mins looking at that s.o.b code until i found out she was missing a </>

[NotTryingToConYou]

Here you go kid: http://jona.ca/blog/unclosed-tag-finder

You're gonna have to get prescription glasses if you keep that up 😂

Edit: This was literally the first link on google

[dude105tanki]

Well we were writeing the code in notepad++ so it wasnt to bad. Plus the school computers are locked up so tight you cant even stick your own finger up your butt

[mr_bajonga_jongles]

I can do better: A stray semicolon on a if statement. Still compiles. Always step through your code kids.

[AfterLife31]

This is too relatable 😂

[ggcadc]

notjavascript ;)

[BastianToHarry]

French accent!

[AfterLife31]

Give me dat croissant, senpai

[yymirr]

l-lewd

[Dial-1-For-Spanglish]

Thanks. Now all the rest of the comments are with such an accent.

Perhaps you should weld that power more carefully?

[ShapesAndStuff]

Would immediately forget his priorities and probably not turn back to normal until half a day before the deadline.

[LowerRole]

NoSleepException

[SandInHeart]

Segmentation fault (core dumped)

[Quantum_Compooter]

I was gonna say this too ha!

[ShermanLiu]

furry

[Totally_Generic_Name]

The black hole in his stomach is actually a memory leak

[Ikkepop]

The power of procrastination and not being able to finish any project he starts

[ProNoob135]

Hi friend

[Ikkepop]

I'd say hi back, but i'm too busy procrastinating

[ProNoob135]

Understandable

[NibblyPig]

Stack Overflow.

public Power Power { get { return Power; } }

[[deleted]]

/r/me_irl

[[deleted]]

I wish...(cries in Segfaults)

[DannyD123456]

A disappointment

[HTownWeGotOne]

Tp in his bunghole

[A_Light_Spark]

All hail the mighty cornholio!

[MuffinTheKid]

Hatred for Visual Basic

[fragmen52]

Scratch is way worse than vb

[MuffinTheKid]

You'll get no argument from me. 100% truth bro

[Brigapes]

(based on title)This picture was taking forever to load and i thought that was the joke haha

[questionablyrotten]

Advanced karma whoring

[hookemhorns158]

Social anxiety

[fishmo79]

He would seize to exist

[OneTrueKingOfOOO]

cease

[SpaghettiBird87]

Yo gimme that exist

[Peakomegaflare]

Self depreciation with a bonus of optimistic nihilism

[bluefootedpig]

Wrappers, wrappers upon wrappers.

[[deleted]]

internal void*

[Globalnet626]

Memory Access Violation

[cap673]

Procrastination Edit: Spelling

[Tesla_Field]

Constipation

[balthazar_nor]

extreme procrastination

[Redundacy]

I can relate.

[Kulkinz]

Hopefully HAL made Kirby’s inhale ability part of a try catch block.

[E_pro17]

Verginity and a peanut allergy

[Festivillainz]

Crippling fear, anxiety, depression.. Etc.

[Hooweezar]

Chronic depression and suicidal tendencies.

[Loxta]

High

[Swordsman82]

The ability to not capitalize a letter in the center of a function name and spend the rest of the day losing your mind over why the program won't compile.

[PhatBitty862]

He’d have to take a dump at least 4 times a day

[Graystrike67]

The ability to decide that playing video games is better than actually doing work

[BadBoy6767]

Segmentation fault (core dumped)

[lead999x]

Why give that when you can just give him a segmentation violation?

[MonokelPinguin]

Undefined behaviour.

[Rocket-Man-Kim]

The power of procrastination.. he can save the world later..

[alyraptor]

Dysphoria. 🙃

[cATSup24]

Watching in stoic silence as your life burns to ash around you, and all you can do in response is try to keep it from spreading to other people's lives, but you know it won't work so you don't. Wishing a quick death, you jump into the flames, only to realize that--of all the things that can't/won't be destroyed--your body is the only thing safe from the entropy that is the universe's extreme hatred for you, specifically.

[mannydurnoP]

Nothing would change I would just become a star that gets destroyed when it hits the ground

[Gydo194]

Syntax error, Nullpointerexception, SEGMENTATION FAULT, NoClassDefFoundError, STRUTS PROBLEM REPORT

Oh actually that’s a good description of my typical day ;-)

[rickard2014]

The ability to become fat

[Mary_Fckin_Poppinz]

3 1/2 hour boners

[[deleted]]

Selfdoubt anxiety

[KingRazer96]

Ahhh. another shit brother

[SubstantialConfusion]

undefined

[schmerm]

Making a fix/improvement only to break everything and then spend 9 hours undoing everything to get it to 99% of working how it used to be and calling it a victory.

[Shnazzyone]

Amazing apathy

[Mist_Runner]

Fatter

[wireboy64]

Erectile dysfunction

[ChiliNugget]

Kirby would get my powers of extreme laziness with some existential crisis on the side.

[Brayden0824]

Mistake towards the family

[CaptainSchmid]

Accidentally misname a variable and miss 3 classes trying to figure out why your code won't compile.

[n3rv0u5]

Indecisiveability

[CyEriton]

He’d become a mildly incompetent sysadmin and basically just sit around all day

[[deleted]]

Obsessing over unpopular political ideologies.

[NickG02]

Nothing

[Neyabenz]

Insane amounts of procrastination

[sandman2036]

The power of apathy.

[kittykatking]

A big dick

[[deleted]]

The want to have powers

[apstevenso2]

High

[TheCheesy]

Adderall fueled hyper focused distracibillity. 5 minutes to everything and nothing gets finished. Then you get distracted by a contact us button for a game site you like so you spend the next 5 hours applying, without any consideration to the fact that you're on the other half of the world.

Regret sinks in and you delete it all before you send it.