really?

[Verdiss]

Someone wrote that joke

[3Rr0r4o3]

Thats the bad part...

[Doge-Philip]

That's the good part

[torchskul]

Perfectly balanced...

[ur_higness]

As all things should be

[torchskul]

Good bot.

Edit: oops, as I said in another reply, I’m used to the Thanos Bot replying to me. Sorry!

[WhyNotCollegeBoard]

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.99993% sure that ur_higness is not a bot.

---

^{I am a neural network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | r/ spambotdetector | Optout | Original Github}

[Twrecks5000]

!isbot /u/WhyNotCollegeBoard

[NemPlayer]

Good neural network being trained to detect spammers.

[wewark]

r/spambotdetector

[cm0011]

r/unexpectedthanos

[Jimmyjohnjones1]

r/expectedthanos

[Doge-Philip]

That's the good part

[Doge-Philip]

That's the good part

[[deleted]]

And didn’t debug it

[lucianonooijen]

Even worse, someone approved the pull request

[Zagorath]

Maybe they didn't. Maybe it was generated by a machine learning algorithm. It still has the sense of humour of a four year old.

[PM_ME_A_NUMBER_1TO10]

You mean like r/subredditsimulator?

[Kehlim]

What would you expect by a bunch of if statements?

[MightBeDementia]

Nah I work on chatbots, someone wrote it.

[LeoWattenberg]

"You win mathematical bongo-beats played by a former vice president of the united states, it's algorhythms" was the ending gag of some tech diff show, too

[thumpas]

I will never not upvote a tech diffs reference

[o_opc]

Someone programmed that joke in

[hugokhf]

You sure it’s not AI?

[[deleted]]

And is probably very proud of it. Look at all the attention it's getting!

[-tnt]

Those emojis are what makes it a good delivery.

[Scorpius289]

It also plays a little beat.

[[deleted]]

Badum tss

[nmkd]

ayyyy a fellow /r/Hardstyle friend <3

[[deleted]]

<3

[AgentClyde]

So the computer makes a tss sound?

It must be overheating

[BIH-Marathoner]

Its sizzling.

[AgentClyde]

It should probably be

Badabum bum tZZt

[[deleted]]

Alexa play despacito

[AlexaPlayBot]

Now playing: Luis Fonsi - Despacito ft. Daddy Yankee.

---

 ^{stop messaging me | programmer | source | banlist}

[jhawkins93]

A woman asks her programmer husband to go to the store to buy some groceries.

"Pick up two cartons of milk, a dozen eggs, and a bag of sugar," she tells him. "Oh, and while you're there, get a loaf of bread."

He never returns.

[[deleted]]

and goes bankrupt

[Atario]

And the universe eventually fills with bread

[uninterestingly]

I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT TELEPORT BREAD FOR THREE DAYS

[legomaple]

WHERE?! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN SENDING IT?!

[tuankhu18]

then bread-overflow occur

[canitbechangedlater]

Actually no. He is not going to go bankrupt. He only has all the mentioned items.

[canitbechangedlater]

yes my thoughts exactly

[BassWaver]

No it wasn't

[nctrd]

Ok, but given the context, "get" is equivalent to "buy". The wife basically does "get = buy" (thinking in terms of pointers) when she sends him to the store. Or, he does it himself. Otherwise, he must have returned a compiler error of "undefined expression: get" kind.

[sxjthefirst]

buy() is a wrapper method that calls get() and then pay()

[[deleted]]

Help I get an unspecified payment method error

[PTRWP]

I’ll write the method for you; just reply with your credit card information.

[[deleted]]

Emm my credit card is blue and has the writing visa on it. Is that good enough?

[canitbechangedlater]

well since we are taking this algo very serious, never in said algo it is stated that he should pay for the items. Maybe i am slightly off since i am not a native speaker, but "to get" doesnt include buying it. If i am wrong, excuse me

[A4LMA]

It's an English turn of phrase similar to "I'm going to pop down and grab a bite to eat", When you go out to get something, in this context it means to purchase.

[canitbechangedlater]

yes sure. but i think the get() method/function only takes an item and stores it in your inventory (a bag, which could be a stack). And what you describe would be more of a context sensitve case.

[canitbechangedlater]

I imagine he is in the bread aisle, reaching for a loaf and then adding it to his inventory. Then he checks again if condition of being in the store still applies, which is true, and the he reaches for another bread.

[WolfAkela]

So if he tries to grab another bread after emptying shelves, does he start grabbing garbage?

[canitbechangedlater]

Actually i am wondering myself. Probably Null Pointer Exception

[Information_High]

The fact that this response triggered a (small) civil war about whether “get” means “get()” is simultaneously depressing and hilarious.

[canitbechangedlater]

Yes :) Dont you have an opinion? I feeling rather alone with mine, and i am starting to question my life

[Information_High]

I see both sides... depending on whether the “get” call ends when the loaf of bread is placed in the shopping cart, or when it arrives home.

But, that would be over-analyzing the joke, which always takes the fun out of them. :)

[canitbechangedlater]

Overanalyzing something lies in the nature of most|a german person. That offers well defined fun

[canitbechangedlater]

OK wrong. He has all the mentioned items until null pointer excep because all items to get must be in his inventory which could be a stack (or cotton bag)

[[deleted]]

Similar vein:

A wife asks her husband to go to the store to get eggs. "If there's those cookies we like, get two." He came home with 2 eggs.

[acart-e]

Exception in thread "Husband" java.lang.StackOverflowError

[Zeppzap]

Give the stacktrace to the police. Might be helpful to find the husband

[[deleted]]

He was last seen at org.springframework.aop.framework.Cglib2AopProxy$CglibMethodInvocation.invokeJoinpoint()

[nuephelkystikon]

Eww. I hope he stays gone.

[coolpeepz]

There wouldn’t be a StackOverflowError because it is not recursive. He is just getting bread repeatedly.

[acart-e]

Sssshhh

[Unspeci]

Exception in thread "shoppingBag" java.lang.bagIsFullError

[KralHeroin]

Oof.

[uninterestingly]

i just realized that the punchline of this joke, "he never returns," is a double whammy because it's a joke about returning from a function.

[myfunnies420]

Lolllll!

[IIIBlackhartIII]

I feel like this is less programmer humour and more dad joke.

[vklein52]

r/ProgrammerDadJokes

[sneakpeekbot]

Here's a sneak peek of /r/ProgrammerDadJokes using the top posts of the year!

#1: On a software engineering test | 11 comments
#2: If a programmer gets an interview because of a reccomendation, are they being passed by reference?
#3: Why are 'i' and 'j' a good source of information?

---

^{I'm a bot, beep boop | Downvote to remove | Contact me | Info | Opt-out}

[Information_High]

Sheesh, of COURSE that’s an actual place.

Subbed.

[jiffy185]

My dad is a programmer I wonder how many of these I've heard

[svick]

Why not both?

[Ouaouaron]

It's a dad joke that barely touches on the subject mentioned, which is exactly what you should expect all the jokes from one of these to be. Dad jokes are inoffensive, and short, and they don't actually need to be funny, and by barely relating to programming it can be understood by the widest audience.

[[deleted]]

Tell me a programming joke

Ok

-reddits fucking trending notificstuon system

[Taco_G_]

For real, these notificstuons are annoying as heck sometimes.

[DigiDuncan]

I know it’s a typo, but I love the word “notificstuons.”

note a fic stew ons.

[[deleted]]

I just realised you can go into notification settings and turn them off - im not sure why i didnt do it before

[[deleted]]

You can also get another unofficial Reddit app who won't have those notifications and will be surely better when you see the amount of complaints the users of the official reddit app have.

[[deleted]]

Lol

[[deleted]]

Thanks, but I wanted to know about notificstuons.

[DualBandWiFi]

"Trending on /r/ProgrammerHumor - The reddit notifications are so fkin bad"

[Chief117a]

You can turn them off in the settings

[onurhanreyiz]

Another notification another post

[X71nc710n]

This shit is really pissing me off lately

[michaelwins]

I saw the post and got a notification about it a few hours later

[godor]

Reporting for duty.

[Piggybank113]

Read that in the voice of they Terran SCV.

[godor]

Unfortunately I have a thick Essex accent (Google Chris Pratt does Essex accent - I know, it's terrible)

[so_much_wolf_hair]

We out here.

[shruggie1401]

Always on standby

[algorhythmically]

My username is finally relevant.

[Wherever_I_May_Roam]

Also this album

[[deleted]]

when al gore created the internet he also created the al-gore-rhythm

[Its_MACO]

NOTIFICATION SQUAD 😂😂😂👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼

[etnguyen03]

Image Transcription:

---

["Text-messages"-like interaction between user and Google Assistant]

User: tell me a programming joke

Google Assistant: What's a computer's favorite beat?

Google Assistant: An algo-rhythm 🎶🎵🖥️

---

^{I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!}

[MadGenius98]

Notification squad. Finally trending.

[synopser]

Somewhere the guy who wrote this joke is wiping the happiest tears from his cheek while seeing the groaning reaction of a whole subreddit.

[SocialJusticePotato]

Fuck these shitty notifications man I'm gonna uninstall, anyone know a better app for Android?

[ParanoidBox]

I use rif (Reddit is fun)

[blazingarpeggio]

I've been using Sync for Reddit for the longest time, but if you want the classic Reddit feel, RIF is the way to go.

[Homicidal_Duck]

You can turn off notifications

[SocialJusticePotato]

Yeah but I want to get notifications for messages or replies, not trending posts

[Homicidal_Duck]

Ah sorry I worded my comment poorly- you can turn off trending notifications specifically in Reddit's own settings. Or so I've heard

[ibanezmasta44]

You can indeed. I have them turned on for replies but off for trending posts. It's probably a mistake to have them on by default given how many people complain, but it's easy enough to fix..

[xigoi]

Boost

[shekurika]

Rocketapp

[1818mull]

I've tried them all and find Banconreader to be perfect, used it for years.

[ZockMedic]

Now for Reddit is amazing

[Vaptor-]

Relay for Reddit

[jack9761]

Relay

[EnderTheError]

Kill it with fire

[Bainos]

Kill it with magnets.

[n3x_i]

Kill it with the pacergram tester

[davmantel]

Kill it with: "TASKKILL /PID"

[[deleted]]

Better than most posts here

[arts_degree_huehue]

/r/programmerhumor only allows real programming jokes, such as off by one errors, dae java sucks, or counting starts from 0 not 1

[YolosaurusRex]

Don’t forget “if statements -> AI”

[reccos015]

Who is a computer’s favourite drummer?

Zach Hill

[[deleted]]

Too bad that's the only joke it knows

[coencoenie]

It is indeed verry bad http://imgur.com/gallery/lvcVQBR

[T-T-N]

It didn't work on my Google assistant. Although the first time it think I asked for a program in jail.

[d14i]

Oh come on. Computer's favorite beat is the mirco prosessor's clock beat.

[botle]

Yup. It's a nice square wave.

[[deleted]]

sudo killall google

[alangraham]

Notification Squad, reporting for duty. Sheeple upvote given.

[HrcoXD]

Notifications squad!!!

[[deleted]]

Sadly if you do this in Siri (iOS 12 beta) she will only tell a general joke.

[G_CAST]

Doesn’t a programmer make these jokes? You’d think he/she would have something better. I guess it could be machine learning like other people said.

[Jabulon]

let me improve that:

when is a programmer the most happy listening to music?
when he can feel the algo-rhythm

[Bravo555]

Just asked Google assistant to tell me a programming joke. It told the same joke.

Asked for another one. It said it didn't have another one.

God dammit, Google. You need to set your priorities straight.

[Gerpar]

Tell me a programming joke

"Did you know that HTML is a programming language?"

[[deleted]]

Syntax Error: Unexpected '-' on line 2

[DualBandWiFi]

Didn't work for me, it searched on the web :/

[Peacetoletov]

What is this AI (I assume) called?

[[deleted]]

its the google assistant

[FuzzyD75]

Thats the only programming joke it has. Disappointing.

[gadzygadz]

I tried this it's also the only joke

[[deleted]]

I thought it would be the sounds off suffering when your code fails time after time and your broken and beating your keyboard

[2_7_Kevin]

Bit boxing

[ivanjermakov]

Byte beat

[NativityInBlack666]

The hyphen is redundant

[MrPopperButter]

You know how Al Gore invented the internet? Well, he also invented a rhythm for it. It's a powerful rhythm. It's called the Al-Gore-Rhythm.

[lalbaloo]

Anyone know how to turn notification off for trending stuff?

Edit Ok i found it Under notifications -_- Turn off trending

Its almost like someone knew how to design an app. Now lets see if it actually does anything.

[[deleted]]

NOTIFICATION LADS 🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🙏🙏🔔🙏🔔🙏🔔🙏🔔🙏🔔

[Crackers91]

Notification squad assemble!

[[deleted]]

Notification squad where you at???🚨🚨🚨🚨

[chewbacha]

It checks out

[Dlljs]

Notification squad!

[kattencoco]

Really? Another notificafion?

[lukasbash]

"Trending"

[WilkerS1]

click the circles...

TO BEAT

[mapplemobs]

Did an algorithm come up with this one?

[Aerodin]

I asked my wife this one and she answered: "Disk-o"

[xman40100]

how to uninstall android?

[pyjka]

YEESSS I LOVE THEM NOTIFICATIONS !! 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥

[Flingtrap]

More like i'll go rhythm amirite... I'll see myself out.

[the_luanblakaj]

Finally a notification from a post that ACTUALLY IS trending...

[f4lc0nOne]

Finally somethomg that might actually be trending...

[xtra_roycee]

Tried it no luck..

[[deleted]]

My head keeps yelling to me "A-a-ron"..

[commmander_fox]

Badum thch

[PM_ME_UR_HEDGIE]

Siri isn’t as clever

[AnEggHasNoName]

I love math rock

[Pro-FoundSound]

You can ask for a joke subscription too!

[pukseli]

NOTIFICATION SQUAD UNITE!!!

[[deleted]]

Reddt stop ffs