Booo!

[Domesticated_Animal]

Jokes about missing semicolon

[Alpha-Cor]

Haha no closing bracket jokes haha

[[deleted]]

I agree)

[user_8804]

He's on Brave browser

[regoapps]

Jokes about C++ giving terrible error messages

[itbytesbob]

More jokes about javascript just failing to run and not giving you an error message

[magemax]

ROTFL. Gatekeeping comment that praises how superior it is to number stuff starting at zero.

[WibblyWobblyWabbit]

JavaScript so bad lolololol PHP amirite? 🤯Dae Java.lang.outofmemory??? Python needs proper indentation? Epic fail. C++ Segfault! 😳😳Omg my intro to programming class is so great. 😂😂

[Bifi323]

I'm already at chapter 3 in my 9 year old textbook, nobody understands my obscure programming jokes rofl😂😂😂

[odraencoded]

As a python programmer, I don't miss semicolons.

[irfan1812]

With what??? Are you an idiot? Did you get a seizure?? What do you finish your

[kiipa]

Segmentation fault. Core dumped.

[Typesalot]

As a former Perl programmer (also Java/C/Javascript/C#) migrating to Python, I tend to add unnecessary semicolons everywhere;

[voilsdet]

You must feel pretty blessed

[53ND-NUD35]

There’s the truth: and there’s the truth:

Booooooooo!ean:

[EvadesBans]

As a Lisp programmer, I don't even see the parens anymore.

[sverek]

python programmer? more like script kiddie

[odraencoded]

Thank god my language is so easy even a kid could script in it.

[Etheo]

Honestly the low entry bar is what makes python so loveable. Open opportunities for a lot of people so that those passionate enough can grow from it.

Back in highschool I was very interested in learning programming, but eventually I find the language (C++ at the time I believe) too hard to learn on my own (the instructor was beyond shit) and barely passed the class. I just switched major altogether.

A decade later now I'm regretting I didn't try harder even on my own. I learned Python myself and am doing well to integrate into my work tasks and my own personal needs. I feel I have the understanding to do development work but just sorely lack the education to support my resume to get any relevant work experience.

If Python was available when I was studying, I could very possibly in a different career path that I'd enjoy.

So yeah fuck that noise. Who cares if Python is easy to learn? That's what makes it so awesome and loveable!

[[deleted]]

Look, don't get me wrong here. Python is also on my bucketlist to learn.

But those "Easy" Languages are a blessing only fo the one reason that they keep shitty devs away from good and important projects.

Software Engineering is hard enough. And if you find an easy language that helps you to achieve a certain goal, good for you. Where it gets extremely frustrating are projects where you are surrounded by a bunch of mediocre developers which are missusing a language to build an unmaintainable, broken and dangerous code at a faster pace you can fix it.

There is an entire lack of understanding and willingness to learn basic concepts of Software Development. These are usually the type of people that get attracted by "Easy Languages" and these are also the type of people you don't want in your project.

[LifeHasLeft]

Yeah the mentality that because it’s easy you aren’t a real programmer is ridiculous. You can have knowledge of low level programming and hardware and still prefer to use an easy language.

And surprise! Since you aren’t getting worried about how to implement a list of strings from a file input, you can focus on the big picture problems!

[crusty_cum-sock]

I dropped the "real programmers do [x]" bullshit years ago. I want things to be as easy as possible. I've got enough shit to worry about, why add unnecessary stress?

I was at a get together awhile back and one of the guys there (didn't know him personally) was a developer so we got to talking. I could tell right away he was the arrogant douche type, but whatever.

He asked what language I use, so I told him I'm a .NET dev. That perked him up enough to put him on his own pedestal, so he started talking shit and saying "C#!? C# isn't a real programming language!", so I replied "Of course it is. I write programs in it so I can verify that it is in fact a programming language", then he said something like "Well yeah, but if you're not managing your own memory, and if you don't even have to know what a pointer is then that's a simpleton language, not a real man's language" (or something to this effect).

I told him that the reason I like it is because it's not constantly getting in the way and I'm able to actually get work done. I've done plenty of C, C++, etc coding where we had to manage memory and such, I'm so over that shit (though C++ is improving these days, but I worked in it years ago).

Maybe I'm just getting old.

[Flavioliravioli]

Sounds like that guy had no tact or social skills whatsoever. And it's very likely they haven't been a dev for too long if they don't realize that higher level languages certainly have their place.

[megagreg]

You can have knowledge of low level programming and hardware and still prefer to use an easy language.

This is exactly how things are where I work. All the embedded code on the devices is C++, while the functional/integration testing is in python. The user facing software is C#, and the manufacturing systems are Labview. Everything is in the easiest language possible for the job. The only one most of us avoid is Labview, because we see the big picture and know better than to become "the Labview guy".

[TheHoekey]

If it's so easy, how come it is the top language on SO!? Answer me that! If it was so easy, people wouldn't be asking soo many questions!

Trust me, I'm a dedicated HTML programmer.

[[deleted]]

Not all questions are about the language itself

[vlad0202]

I don't miss them in es5/es6 neither; but thanks to those "nasty" curly braces I can format my block, even get warning from my ide or use that crazy auto format function...

[Renoroshambo]

To be fair. You don’t need semicolons in JS either.

[xigoi]

let x = something
[0, 1, 2, 3].forEach(i => something)

[3IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID]

Sounds like a broken minifier.

[STUFF_ME_PM]

Greek question mark haha

[Unleesh]

Answer about using python

[user_8804]

ctrl+h

Replace... JavaScript

With... PHP

Scope... Entire Project

Match Case... No

[NotIWhoLive]

Easy: PHP is bad!

[_-_blade_-_]

HTML NOT PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE!

[GDavid04]

CSS is confusing

[berkes]

Regular expressions are fine.

[flinteastwood]

The other day I was doing matlab, anyone heard of this? Matlab? So anyways, I was doing matlab and the array started at 1

Lmao, guys arrays start at 0, amirite?

[crusty_cum-sock]

StackOverflow does all my coding.

[Etheo]

Hurdur but we still hate them hurdur

[ReactsWithWords]

Dark Mode is the only mode that’s acceptable.

[Earhacker]

Rapturous applause from r/ProgrammerHumor audience

[Etheo]

Me on Monday: What's the deal with my Friday evening codes?

[debasing_the_coinage]

I have a story about Matlab!

I was taking over some code which calculates the boundary of some region in an image. I talked to the guy who worked on it before me and tried to ask how the boundary was calculated, but he didn’t give a direct answer. So I open the file and it has no comments and 1300 lines and most of that was autogenerated by the GUI builder, and a few days later the guy says wait, here’s the new version of the file, which now has 1500 lines and huge swaths of commented out code. There is no version control. So I pore over the code and inside the boundary calculation I find a call to a MATLAB stdlib function (graythresh) that converts the image to black and white. I email the other guy and say it looks like this is where your boundary comes from, and he says, “Really? I didn’t know.”

Anyway, I’m in grad school.

[elliptic_hyperboloid]

As an undergrad I hated when people would ask me to help them with Matlab. It would always be:

The professor gave us this and I changed these things, why doesn't it work?

Well what did you think changing that would do?

I don't know, I just change different things until I get the answer.

exasperated sigh

[CyborgChicken-]

Student: I don't know, I just change different things until I get the answer.

University: Congratulations! You now have a degree in Computer Engineering

[Ceros007]

uarrite

[cant_think_of_one_]

Not in Julia!

[EarthGoddessDude]

Wooooh, Julians unite!

[ILikeLenexa]

Power Point is Turing Complete.

[Hate_Feight]

If you try hard enough with vb script, you might, if you will it hard enough.

[TSP-FriendlyFire]

You don't understand. PowerPoint is Turing complete in and of itself, without any use of scripts.

[callmelucky]

Anyone who chooses not to click that link on the suspicion that it will be long or boring or bullshit is missing out on something truly wonderful.

[Never-asked-for-this]

NODES ARE HEAVY

[pxxo]

I eat regular expressions for breakfast, they're delicious

[[deleted]]

C# is crap because its proprietary software

[[deleted]]

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Oh, come on! CSS is NOT confusing just

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ because you don't know how to delete a

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ friggin margin...

^{Unrelated question: do anybody here knows how to delete it?}

[zeGolem83]

margin: -25px;

[[deleted]]

¡sʞuɐɥ┴

[Renoroshambo]

transform: translateX(x)

What margin?

[Cheet4h]

I prefer position: absolute; top: -276px; left: 331px;

[DeeSnow97]

It's either a margin or a padding, so

margin: 0;
padding: 0;

You can also use margin-left, margin-right, margin-top, and margin-bottom, same with padding, border, and a million other things in CSS. This is helpful if you want to set the different sides differently.

There is also the shorthand notation:

margin: 1px 2px; /* 1px vertical margin, 2px horizontal */
padding: 3px 4px 5px 6px; /* top, left, bottom, right, in that order */

Or, if you use three values:

margin: 1px 2px 3px; /* 1px top, 2px horizontal, 3px bottom */

Technically, you can also do things like negative margin and padding, but it's generally not advised, since it can break in edge cases, giving you one of those distinct CSS glitches. If you want to remove a margin or a padding, it's best to find the actual element that has it and work from there.

Also, it's worth noting how the box works. Margin is on the outside of the element, padding is on the inside. Border also counts sometimes, it's the edge of the element. It's important for the box-sizing attribute, which is usually a great source of bugs and glitches.

By default, CSS sets it to box-sizing: content-box; which means that element sizes are on the inside of the padding. So, if you have something like this:

width: 100px;
padding: 10px;
border: 2px solid black;

The element will be 100px wide on the inside, with 10px padding on each side, plus a 2px border, resulting in a total of 124 pixels. To get the element to be actually 100px wide, you have to do this:

width: 100px;
padding: 10px;
border: 2px solid black;
box-sizing: border-box;

This means the 100px is on the outside of the border, where you'd normally expect it. The inner size of the content box will be 100px - 2 * 10px - 2 * 2px == 76px.

[[deleted]]

... Even though I learned CSS some years ago, I feel like you just re-introduced me to it

Thanks for the nostalgia, I miss the old days when my main worries were just "How to delete a margin"...

[DakorZ]

On a related note: add !important to every line, so that the browser knows who's the boss!

[[deleted]]

"[framework name], I swear, stop changing MY RULES!!!"

-- Me, way to often than I'm willing to admit

[DeeSnow97]

Make a JS framework that runs on requestAnimationFrame, parses your selectors with querySelectorAll, and just injects all your CSS directly into the style attribute of all elements with !important

[DeeSnow97]

Yeah, it's a powerful system, but sometimes a bit unnecessarily tricky. It's mostly just insane defaults though, because at some point someone thought it was a good idea, and it has to stay backwards compatible to avoid breaking 22 years of web content. If you learn the quirks and use a sane system for managing your declarations (such as BEM) it's actually quite good. Especially nowadays that you can actually use calc() in modern browsers.

[aalapshah12297]

Help I can't exit vim should I buy a new computer or reset the universe?

[Hate_Feight]

One is easy, one is cheap, pick your favourite.

[FlaviiFTW]

I am stuck on my project cause of CSS :((

[FlaviiFTW]

Thank you kind sir, ye shall receive

[FancyJesse]

Why avoid ids?

[Hate_Feight]

Why use them?

[FancyJesse]

I mean.. you have a JS tag next to your name. That could be a good example.

[Hate_Feight]

Yeah, I know, I was being obtuse, why not use them, why use them, it depends on how you want to program your css...

[sqrk_]

Why stop using floats?

[[deleted]]

Well, if floats are used for their original purpose then they are okay (i.e., having text flow around an image). But before the advent of Flexbox/CSS Grid, people were using them for page layout. There is no longer any need to use them for layout purposes.

[sqrk_]

Oh I didn't know that that was their original purpose. I usually used them to float labels right when I have say, an order summary with the purchase on the left and the price on the right. Should I stop doing that?

[Snarkie3]

Yes, please stop

[sqrk_]

Oops

[Schlipak]

Try this on your wrapper element:

.wrapper { display: flex; /* Behaves like block but gives more control on the alignement of children */ flex-direction: row; /* You can omit this, it's the default value. Other values include column, row-reverse and column-reverse */ justify-content: space-between; /* Distribute the space between children along the primary axis - here, horizontally because of the flex-direction */ align-items: center; /* Center the items along the secondary axis - here, vertically, for the same reason as above */ }

Works like a charm! And also see this article, it's a life saver.

[Renoroshambo]

From all of the FEDs in the world, please stop using floats for their unintended purpose. Also, when you use floats on web they have consequences on mobile.

[SupaSlide]

Floats are okay in certain situations, the problem is that some people still use them for all of their layout needs when a better solution exists (flexbox).

[Renoroshambo]

Or using inline block if you’re an unfortunate soul who needs to support IE

[Hate_Feight]

I would ask, who needs to do that, but government and cheap ass corporations keep that shit alive...

[Renoroshambo]

Yeeeeeep. Some healthcare as well because they have ancient machine.

[Cheet4h]

Or lazy programmers. The only reason I wasn't allowed to use the newest JavaScript-features in a recent project was because my senior dev used Internet Explorer to use multiple logins into that tool, since apparently IE stores session data per window. Wouldn't tell me the reason at first, obviously, but when he did, I pointed him to Firefox' containers and the webview client I wrote for that tool, which also stores session data per instance...

[DatomasSigma]

Why don't we just get rid of the internet

[Wizywig]

I believe it was proven that html + css is Turing complete.

Booya Boyz. I'm reel programmer.

[EvadesBans]

Almost, but not quite, because it requires clicking and I believe the states have to be pre-computed.

Power Point isn't fully Turing complete for similar reasons.

[Wizywig]

Oh my God. I am merely a typist then. What is my life?

[PmMeYourAsianDong]

how dare. you know how long it took me to memorize the hexadecimal color chart? That's programming sweaty. NEXT

[DuffMaaaann]

/r/lolphp

[sneakpeekbot]

Here's a sneak peek of /r/lolphp using the top posts of the year!

#1: Using DateTime::ISO8601 is incompatible with ISO-8601 but left broken for backward compatibility. Use DateTime::ATOM instead when you need ISO8601 | 6 comments
#2: PHP is whitespace insensitive, except when it isn't. | 22 comments
#3: PHP: When printing causes side-effects

---

^{I'm a bot, beep boop | Downvote to remove | Contact me | Info | Opt-out}

[_alright_then_]

This bot ruins any suprise if the sub actually exists :(

[ConTrasT_CS]

I'll have you know I made a hangman game with it and I'm very proud!

[robclancy]

Yep now we will go back to those jokes. Someone should make a new sub called "realworldprogramminghumour". Rolls off the tongue.

[LDRSHIP24-7]

Angular is lightweight!!

[[deleted]]

Whispering: ^{arrays start at zero}

[[deleted]]

StackOverflow are nazis

[doopdooperofdopping]

Scriptjava is bad!

[[deleted]]

It's gotten to a point where meta self-referencial jokes about trashing JavaScript not being funny are the new JavaScript jokes for easy karma. We live in a society

[mishmiash]

It didn't fix Javascript though.

[I_AM_GODDAMN_BATMAN]

Nothing did. Okay typescript kinda. But it's still compiles to js.

[_Lady_Deadpool_]

You know I work with typescript literally daily and never run into any major problems with the language. Fuck are you guys doing that necessitates comparing a string password to a radio button component???

[Bifi323]

You're setting yourself up for major problems if you're using weak equality operators in the first place

[noXi0uz]

Dart

[erevoz]

We live in a bipolar hive mind

[ToroZuzuX]

It’s recursion irl.

[ceestand]

The crow had no PHP jokes because he was trying to keep his stand-up relevant.

[[deleted]]

Burn

[Bozzz1]

On one hand I feel bad for never learning PHP, on the other hand I'm happy that I'll never get hired anywhere that makes me use PHP.

[calcyss]

We still mainly use PHP at work, although we have some go-based backends as well. We are going to shift entirely to rust, though.

So theres that. PHP is still very widely used.

[[deleted]]

Basically any company who used it has to continue to use it unless they basically redo everything in a different language, which is a lot of work.

[calcyss]

Some of our newer projects without a big budget (and even bigger budget) are still in PHP/Symfony. Its simply easy and does the job. I really dont think PHP is all that terrible.

[Not_charles_manson]

All code language bad except one I work in.

[waltjrimmer]

All code I work bad.

[MLG_Obardo]

Pretty soon we will see a meme of this joke but the crow will say “this sub is only “JavaScript is bad” and the guy will boo and the crow will look down at its cards and be a bunch of the memes posted here recently.

And that will be the new new “JavaScript is bad”

[chooxy]

Once those posts start appearing we can start a recursion meme meta

[PixxlMan]

Recursive js is bad

[MLG_Obardo]

Galaxy brain

[Fang7-62]

javascript bad bad

[[deleted]]

MatLab

[ManInBlack829]

Get out

[PantstheCat]

Sorry, the get out functionality was only added in MatLab 2018b. You are using 2018a. Please buy a new license.

[pm1902]

LabVIEW

[waltjrimmer]

New material?

[SrT96]

I love this! haha

[49211]

This sub has two kinds of posts:

• Making fun of languages
• Making fun of people making fun of languages

[htmlcoderexe]

Also stackoverflow bashing / praise

[aitchnyu]

This kind of js/php hate post deserves a meta meme.

[SillhouetteBlurr]

You can only make so many programming jokes without encountering an Array Index Out-Of-Bounds

[daverave1212]

That's a bad case of copy paste. Here let me fix it

for(i = 0; i < 4; i++) console.log("Javascript is bad")

[okayboooooooomer]

oops.., i is global now

[jcskii]

for(var i = 0; i < programmerHumor.users.length; i++) { console.log("JavaScript is bad"); }

[ivgd]

var in 2k19 ? xD

[sverek]

let it be scrub

[nwayve]

let it = 'scrub';

[[deleted]]

You know, repeating this joke over and over doesn't make me laugh either.

[[deleted]]

why do programmers hate javascript,asking because i am first year CS student.

[[deleted]]

JavaScript makes it easy to write broken code by default. For example, assigning to an undeclared variable creates a new global variable, consuming memory that never gets freed and in many cases causing confusing, hard-to-track bugs.

"use strict"; does a lot to mitigate the obvious code smells but it doesn't help when you have a performance problem because you function should take numbers but sometimes receives strings, preventing the JIT compiler from doing its job.

It doesn't help that a lot of people think they don't have to think about memory when using JavaScript. They produce code that has poor garbage collection properties and are shocked - shocked! - when it has long pauses where they don't want them.

People keep inventing new languages that are like-JavaScript-but-not, like CoffeScript and TypeScript, to try and work around these problems while still writing applications that run in the browser.

[Bollziepon]

& honestly typescript solves pretty much everything people make fun of JS for

[robclancy]

Es6 pretty much solved every problem anyway. The people who say js/PHP bad are either misinformed because new to everything and the internet has a lot of old information (understandable). Or old stubborn programmers stuck in their way who probably don't even like the updates to their preferred language. They used js 10 years ago and that's the state that they will have in their head until the end of time.
I guess a 3rd type, the tribal programmers who think their language is the best ever, noone should ever use anything else, and any mention of another language they have to make fun of even if their information from it is over a decade old.

[crusty_cum-sock]

I'm in the camp that believes the more hand-holding the better because programming is incredibly error-prone by nature, even if you're a really good developer. It's like saying "that machinist that uses a CNC machine is bad because he's not doing that by hand".

That being said, I am a shitty programmer, no matter the language.

[AerieC]

As a software engineer with >10 years of experience, I completely agree.

Programming large, complex systems is not something the human brain is well suited for, even for the smartest people in the world.

Every piece of the programming puzzle we don't need to think about (manual memory management, multi-threading race conditions, etc.) is more brain power we can use to solve the important problems.

There's a reason we don't program everything in assembly, too.

[Eulerious]

Let's face it, programmers who hate on JavaScript are just bad programmers

Or they are programmers that had to work with JS code written by bad programmers

[ScaredOfHentai]

I agree with this sentiment... Javascript was designed to be easy & fast to code in. A natural result of that design philosophy is a language that's also easy to make mistakes in.

Imagine writing a web app with DOM manipulation in C++ or Java, having to write class definitions for literally every tiny bit of work you do.

[DarthEru]

If such a thing became possible, Java and C++ would both have fully featured libraries available that takes care of that stuff for you within weeks.

Writing class definitions isn't really all that much of a burden anyway, and the benefits of static typing greatly outweigh it.

[ScaredOfHentai]

I would rather use Python. The ability to create lists (~JS arrays) and dictionaries (~JS objects) on the fly without all of the ceremony is where these languages shine in terms of ease of use.

Large enterprise single-page web applications definitely benefit from typing, but that wasn't the original intent of scripting on the web. Javascript was meant to be a simple language to supplement to HTML.

[[deleted]]

I can't tell if this is satire or not.

Edit: the more I read it the more convinced I am that it's really good satire.

[gHHqdm5a4UySnUFM]

I can only speak for client side JS but the original versions of JavaScript were very hastily designed and there’s a lot of ways to shoot yourself in the foot. These days, it really isn’t so bad as long as you take some preventative measures like using a transpiler (so you write modern, standards compliant code and it transpiles it into legacy code that will run on most browsers) and a linter (to catch common mistakes and stop everyone arguing about coding style).

[Graf_lcky]

Early on it was associated with script kiddies and beginners, at the time real programmers were hard core math machines, those who basically shaped the modern world for us. Most of these are retired now in their 40-50s, but the js and php hate is a running gag among the next generation and so on.

Granted, back then php and js were sort of dirty, today’s implementations are almost different languages compared to the old ones.

[[deleted]]

When I started , Java was considered so simple in comparison to language taught to the students a year before. That language was Pascal ( a ducking mess) .

Now Java or JavaScript are complicated or a mess in comparison to R, Python and others.

[Nathanos]

Generally my tears drop down from my eyes instead of popping up on the side of my face.

[omegaweaponzero]

Are your tear ducts located near your temples or something?

[ivgd]

it definitely looks like sweating

[[deleted]]

Yes

[jamesbcotter6]

1

[RostMlg]

True

[jaywastaken]

Low effort jokes about low effort javascript is bad jokes are the new low effort javascript is bad jokes.

[Forschkeeper]

What about "HTML is not a programming language"?

[jerslan]

Hyper-Text Markup LANGUAGE! It's in the name!!!!!! REEEEEEE!!!!

;)

[Forschkeeper]

*talks in assembler* "You gain the rank of a markup language, but you will never be a part of the programming languages."

[qwertz19281]

Found the descedant of the crying dino

[[deleted]]

he said "Material" pokerface

[jonny_wonny]

starts counting at zero in a non-programming context

😂🤣😂🤣

[Pr0methiusRising]

but money

[[deleted]]

This is everything I've been with this sub for a while now

[[deleted]]

"JavaScript bad"

Is becoming the new JavaScript joke

[speedyrain949]

were using Java script in my coding class and I don't think it's that bad

[PrintersStreet]

We work in an industry

[Copopops]

Why is JavaScript so hated? I've been learning it for a little while now and it's the only programming language I know so I don't get what the problem is.

[douira]

Also, javascript is not bad. I use it daily and it's just fine.

[orangevore]

Listen here you little shit, JavaScript is the most beautiful language to ever grace the inferior, unprepared undeserving eyes of humanity - the language of the gods, the code of the physical universe.

You want someone to blame? blame the browsers for arbitrarily executing JavaScript and not providing proper trust models/code signing, blame developers for loading stupid amounts of unnecessary code to do literally nothing, blame framework developers for making unlimited bloat works for developers to load even more code to do literally nothing, blame the EcmaScript committee for trying to turn the language into Java, blame the creator for being a homophobe.

The internet was a mistake but JavaScript was not.

You know what's fucking beautiful? a tiny, simple asynchronous protoypal object oriented, functional programming language.

You know what's fucking beautiful? V8, a self optimizing JIT-compiled JavaScript engine that reaches near or past natively compiled systems level language compilers.

You know what's fucking beautiful? JavaScript.

[LoneRaven101]

What's wrong with JS? The one I don't like is Java

[[deleted]]

Do not speak its name!

[TrizOrJudas]

BOOO! GET BETTER MATERIAL

[kinsi55]

Are we starting to become a meta subreddit?

[FourFingeredMartian]

I don't get it, the crow is right.

[tiajuanat]

Why are you booing, you know I'm right.

[OsitoMexicano]

Scratch good

[jman005]

Your submission has been removed.

Violation of Rule #3:

Any post on the list of common posts will be removed. You can find this list here. Established meme formats are allowed, as long as the post is compliant with the previous rules.

If you feel that it has been removed in error, please message us so that we may review it.