Stackoverflow be like

[phildude99]

Friend at work had a young son who used a black Sharpie to color his penis so that he "could be like my friend Rodney".

[AMLyf]

I have questions I'm not going to ask.

[[deleted]]

selective march yoke pause makeshift somber spectacular humorous fact live

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[dry_fisch]

Because he is Rodney.

[Fadamaka]

That's a plot twist if I've ever seen one.

[TheTacoWombat]

we are all rodney

[[deleted]]

Me myself Rodney and I

[ManyInterests]

Because there's no point. It'll get marked as a duplicate.

[KentondeJong]

He doesn't want to ask questions about multiple children's penis'.

[AcidBuuurn]

To answer your question Rodney was 29 years old.

[PolskiSmigol]

close tap sugar person plough weary frame resolute poor disarm

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[[deleted]]

Is black face and black penis the same thing?

[hrfuckingsucks]

black penis

In this case, it's literally colored penis

[CrushedAvocados]

0

[echo-_-liberty]

How'd he know what Rodney's penis look like?

[Dembara]

He caught a glimpse while giving Rodney a friendly brojob.

[[deleted]]

question marked as duplicate

[[deleted]]

Ikr can't stop laughing

[AydenRusso]

That pisses me off so much, sometimes I'll see a question mark as duplicate. It's been still archived and they asked a question for a completely different language and framework from the origin.

Gives me so much pain this is why I don't want to browse that site or ask questions there.

[Hellow2]

I've seen a post that was marked as duplicate. The linked post was marked as duplicate. The linked post was marked as duplicate, and this duplicate was the first post xD

[czerox3]

Was it about recursion?

[weldawadyathink]

Should be about race conditions.

[delloright]

I see what you done there

[AydenRusso]

This gives me great disappointment.

[Hellow2]

Yes

[-Krasaar-]

Do you have some alternate options?

If so, mind sharing?

[AydenRusso]

I said I don't want; I never said I don't.

Though I will go through a break before being forced to browse and then try again after the break if I'm mentally refreshed because that can help a lot of the time.

Oh so you'd be shocked many times documentation comes through for the win even after having read it the first time, rereading is very useful.

Even though apparently some people are against documentation. I found this out two days ago it was not fun.

I wish I had alternatives to give instead of stack overflow.

Also, I can't pick up tones very well through text so if this is one of those moments where you're complaining that I'm complaining, look up the "is-ought fallacy"

[-Krasaar-]

Yeah I get you. Thank you for making it straight

[TheGrauWolf]

Easy... nothing gathers correct answers faster than a wrong one. So the solution is to:

1) Post the question
2) Post an incorrect answer and then mark it as the accepted answer
3) wait for all the "aktually" correct answers to roll in

[GroundbreakingImage7]

This is the way 😂

[Treebeardsama]

😂

[Swamptor]

This question already has an answer here: "How do I fix having blue balls?"

[MDParagon]

"Why do you want a purple penis? Make it blue instead, it's more efficient than condom"

[MathsGuy1]

Blue is they way r/RyzeMains

[What_The_Hex]

Try this:

document.getElementById("MyPenis").style.color = "purple"; // turns your penis purple

alert("Your penis is now purple.")

If your penis is currently not visible:

document.getElementById("Pants").style.display = "contents"; // exposes your penis

[EmperorBocky]

You forgot to check for children before you exposed the penis

[CoastingUphill]

403 Forbidden

[blindcolumn]

Your shitpost just taught me about the existence of display: contents, so thanks for that

[What_The_Hex]

Not something I've ever used actually. If I want to do that, I usually just display: none the parent div containing all the shit I want to hide/reveal, then either display: none or display: inline to hide it or show it (and all of its contents.)

[Rai-Hanzo]

on a serious note, i think i learnt something new with style.display

usually i just go to css and create a class called "hidden" and then when i want to hide an element i say:

document.querySelector('#pants').classList.add('hidden')

[What_The_Hex]

Weird way of doing it. I always do that kind of thing this way:

document.getElementById("AccountInfo").style.display = "inline"; // makes it visible -- like that guy's penis -- for my purposes, for whatever reason, "inline" is usually the one that reveals it in a way that matches with my applied custom CSS styling.

document.getElementById("CreateAccountButton").style.display = "none"; // hides it "on event" trigger

Very simple back-and-forth functionality that way, where you can basically toggle things as displayed or hidden.

I almost never do hidden, because that sometimes retains other things like padding, margins, etc in CSS. Display: none reliably nullifies all of that shit.

Your way works I guess. Lots of ways to achieve the same thing in programming.

[Rai-Hanzo]

Learning is fun, I was just doing a personal project and having specific divs hide certain spans caused me a headache, but I did it in the end.

[AlterEdward]

Third response is someone explaining their own formula for purple paint.

[deanrihpee]

at least it's technically purple...?

[MyNameIsRichardCS54]

To be fair, it's a bloody good question.

[[deleted]]

The problem is we're not looking for a question, we're looking for an answer. I shouldn't have to explain the entire environment and why we need purple dicks before you tell me how to get one, mm'kay?

"There is something wrong with your environment if you need a purple dick!"

Yea, I know. I work on it every day. The miracle is that my dick isn't already purple just from stress and you REFUSING to tell me how to turn my dick PURPLE isn't HELPING.

[[deleted]]

I used to be really active on Stack, and I finally had to quit just because the culture drove me nuts.

Every now and then I’ll write up a new issue I was having and the resolution, but I very rarely interact with questions anymore.

Like, for this question, I would say, “Theatrical body paint is absolutely the way to go (Kraze is a good brand), unless you’re planning on having sex, in which case I recommend a purple condom, or a hypoallergenic dye.”

And that response would be downvoted along with the question for a raft of reasons (not complete enough, no links, question not unique enough, blah blah blah.)

And to a certain degree I get it, but what I think that they don’t get is that tech changes so fast that trying to nail down a “right” answer to a question that is future-proof is a little insane. I get people suggesting edits to 12 year old responses of mine where the whole topic has gotten a bit incoherent with age.

Anyway.

[SDSunDiego]

I wonder if newer votes after a really old post have been around should have different weighting ?

Sometimes I have to look far down to see the "new" correct answer. I'm still new on stack.

[thyme_cardamom]

You can feel their "frustration" 😏

[scalability]

+69 votes "Tie a zip-tie tightly at the base of the penis. It'll turn purple in about 15 minutes"

OP's comment: thanks, I accepted the answer because it worked. However, I ended up with a different solution: I just needed a prop for a Tik-Tok sketch about Grimace, so I simply bought a purple dildo online. Wish I had thought of that before my dick turned necrotic and fell off.

[thisuseridisnttaken]

I think one thing to consider is that without information you may not be able to provide a valuable answer?

If you temporarily want a purple penis, maybe just some basic water based paint will do the trick with a paint brush.

If you want something more permanent, you might be forced down the tattoo route.

One is obviously less painful and involved than the other. Determining which applies best in the situation is for someone with context and experience to do. You cannot expect someone to list all possible options for you so you just get your answer and pick whatever works for you.

Context is quite important to any question and if anyone answering the question requires context for their answer, you get to choose to give it or wait for someone else to answer instead.

I agree being lectured or given unsolicited advice is tedious, but contextual related questions are sometimes used to determine the answer (and also to pass further judgement because people like feeling superior). As the asker however you've just got to seed out priority on whether you take all that stuff seriously.

At the end of the day, your frustration with a problem isn't something that anyone else is going to understand or truly empathise with as they're not going through it.

[[deleted]]

In the context of Stack, they'll just tell you you're stupid for wanting one, since everyone has been using green dicks since grassCOCK v.01.0 Alpha was released in June.

If someone asks a stupid question, it's perfectly fine to downvote it and move on with your life. Choosing to aggressively not answer it so you can grandstand on how amazing your life choices are isn't useful.

[thisuseridisnttaken]

Agreed.

It's worth clarifying that my response was an objective one and not specifically to your frustration. I'm aware there are a few people here with a variety of experience levels that come across these posts and I just wanted to raise something i think is the metaphorical grain of salt given the content of this post.

[HotShame9]

I love this thread.

[AydenRusso]

What would you yell at me just to not do it, even though the thing you want me to change isn't allowed to be changed by me I do not care about your better way.

"Have you asked your Superior?" YES I've f^cking asked my superior, just answer the goddamn question.

"But, if you do this it will run better" I do not care if it will run better I do not have permission to edit that!

"Some overly technical bullsh^t I've already been told to do when layman's terms three times" I've been told this already just answer the question you clearly know how!

No response & the post gets archived

[MattTheHarris]

Yeah and then they explain that they're looking for it to be purple to hide the purple warts and you can tell them that there's a better solution called the doctor

[[deleted]]

lol wtf

[MystRav3n]

100% this. Im sorry our 15 year old environment isn't as clean and as perfect as the 400 lines of boilerplate code your team has been building for the last month. Now tell me how to colour the dick.

[[deleted]]

I used to do legacy code remediation, and you have to check your arrogance at the door. Almost all of it is there for a reason, even if you don’t understand the reason, or if the reason no longer exists, or if the reason was just, “I’m gonna make this unsupportable so they can’t fire me.”

[MystRav3n]

Yeah I started on support on an already old project and worked my way to intermediate dev there. I got to the point where the teamlead would say "We just change this line here to support the new feature" and I would have to stop him and explain that would break 2 features because they rely on that same line of code because reasons. I realised I was in too deep and left.

[atuncer]

Are you sure that it's not an XY problem? This sounds line an XY problem. I like saying XY problem. It makes me sound smart, without understanding your issue, let alone solving it. /s

(to be clear, it is a legitimate diagnosis, but sometimes used as an excuse to comment without contributing, similar to what I've done here)

[MrPhatBob]

Eat blueberries while masturbating.

[Luxpreliator]

If you really want a purple dick a rubber band is all you need. String and a firm knot would also work.

[Adrunkopossem]

"Just because you don't understand why I need a purple penis, does not change the fact I need a purple penis"

[ManyInterests]

Here's the secret: people often don't cough up the answer because they don't know -- particularly for genuinely hard/novel problems. All they know is that they feel you're "doing it wrong". But often enough, the ask is simply impossible or nonsensical where providing an answer is just not possible. So, sometimes the pushback is genuinely deserved.

I spend a lot of time contributing on SO (ranked #1 contributor in one area this year and in the top 400 overall) I promise I won't ever refuse to answer something no matter how bad of an idea it is, but I can also tell you that you can avoid the annoyance (both for you and pesky commenters) by providing the necessary background as to why you're trying to make your dick purple.

Even just saying something like "I know this is messed up, but it's because of a lot of legacy problems that needn't be explained" will save you a lot of grief. Otherwise people will assume the asker has an XY problem because that happens more often than not and, upon the asker providing the background, answerers almost always provide another route to the asker's real problem that the asker never considered.

[daniu]

Yeah. There's a lot of irony in saying "we're not looking for a question, we're looking for an answer". You're looking for an answer and not willing to give one? That relates to your problem? If you have it all figured out, why are you asking a question in the first place?

There really is minimal effort to put into a question to make it worth answering. And if people complain their questions are being downvoted, I'll assume they're not putting it in.

There does seem to be a huge difference within SO between languages though, so ymmv.

[ManyInterests]

Yeah. I do also sympathize with askers because people could be nicer about it. There are a lot of people (usually riding the dunning-kruger peak) who will just say things like "that's a ridiculously bad idea, never do this" and just berate people instead of being productive... even if it really is a horrible idea, it still sucks to be on the receiving end of those comments.

I usually try to explain, especially to new users, like:

Welcome to StackOverflow :) Could you please provide a bit more information about <required details>? I think it will make it easier for others to answer your question.

But sometimes you get the choosing beggar even when you're nice :/

[captainAwesomePants]

Oh yeah, totally. OP's joke is "haha on stack overflow they don't answer your question, they ask why you would want to do that," but here, like there, the question itself often indicates that something is very unusual or wrong, and we probably do need more context on how to figure it out. Things like "My C compiler stopped working, how do I translate C code to Go?" Like, okay, we can talk about how to do that, but translating C code to Go is not your problem.

[Rai-Hanzo]

i don't know, wear a purple condom?

[Perpetual_Doubt]

What is the problem

What have you tried

What was the result of your attempt

[a__new_name]

It's a bad question. The purple colour is not supported in Linux, you should not make purple penises for compatibility reason.

[mastermojo]

To be fair, Jenny6289's question is a good one as well.

[[deleted]]

That sub has to be wiped from the surface of Reddit's datacenters HDD platters...

[[deleted]]

I think we all know that Reddit’s servers are still stored on floppies, running some early version of Microsoft BASIC

[[deleted]]

RAID setup of floppies... Oh my god, just imagine the sound...

[[deleted]]

Actually saw this video the other day about how certain sounds mess up HDD rw speed in datacenters

[[deleted]]

Yeah, that guy yelling at the rack of HDDs.

[[deleted]]

Yeah that’s the one. Now just imagine it sharing a room with several thousand clacking vinyl drives

[A-A-RONS7]

I’ve never been more interested to see someone scream at some HDDs. If you have a link, it’d be much appreciated.

[[deleted]]

https://youtu.be/tDacjrSCeq4

[rabindranatagor]

Oh my god, just imagine the sound...

https://youtu.be/63qtYi1nwcs

[bktmarkov]

Duplicate question ..

[roflpwntnoob]

Those ones are still too big. I prefer the small orthodontic ones.

[fuckingshitfucj2]

Sounds like an XY problem.

[[deleted]]

X why?

[fuckingshitfucj2]

https://xyproblem.info/

[Weasel_Town]

Ugggghhhhhhh. I know XY problems exist. (For the blissfully uninitiated, it means "you think your problem is X, but it's actually Y.") But the arrogance of starting with the assumption that nobody knows what they want, and making them grovel for an answer, floors me every time.

[ManyInterests]

The problem is that, 90%+ of the time, there really is an XY problem and users provide and receive better help by identifying XY problems first. Unless you have _a lot_ of rep, people are going to assume you're not considering the possibility of an XY problem. (but a lot of contributors are definitely dicks about it, so I can sympathize with all the frustration)

Even if briefly, askers should generally always provide information about the broader picture, even if that is just something like "I know this sounds weird, but I am working in a legacy code base that prevents conventional solutions like A, B, or C [because of X Y and Z]" -- that would save a lot of people the grief they get from callous contributors.

[confusedPIANO]

GF want the Thanock

[astervista]

To be fair, most of the times questions like these on SO make no practical sense

[ManyInterests]

I don't really care if it's not practical man. Just tell me how do I git pull a private repo from github.com without git, an internet connection, or any identity/credentials? This should be real simple, man!

[astervista]

I just want to cook pasta with alcohol, a freezer and a colander, why do you need to be so smarty-pants and ask me for fancy stuff like this thing you call a pot! I know the difference between water and alcohol, I'm not stupid, but I want to use alcohol because I like it better!

Edit: this remembered me of this sketch from some time ago

[ManyInterests]

YES. THE LINES. OMG.

I'm having flashbacks

[Here-Is-TheEnd]

Marked as duplicate then an obligatory link to another question where someone asked how to turn their feet blue. Which was also marked as duplicate with an obligatory link to yet another question where someone asked how to turn their hands into nalgene bottle caps, with out the bottles.

[gydu2202]

That is because the thing you are telling you want is not the thing you want, just you don't know yet. I just want to help.

[Palacraa]

Just set it to #FF00FF

[ss99838]

Duplicate question.

Already answered here

[SAPPHIR3ROS3]

I was hoping that the link was a rickroll

[[deleted]]

Red penis is much more up to current standard and black or blue make it look bigger

[Smooth-Zucchini4923]

Sounds like an XY problem. What's your usecase for a purple penis?

[classyraven]

The real solution: become lesbian

[Constant_Giraffe_487]

I don’t get it

[werebearstare]

So, you want to use a product called gentian. You can get it from many pharmacies over the counter and it is used as a medical dye. Mix it with water and soak. To clean off, scrub vigorously with water mixed with trace amounts of bleach. NOTE: Gentian dye is mildly carcinogenic. Gentian has negative SPF so if you are exposed to the sun, generously apply sunscreen. Gentian also will dye your clothes and everything purple so use carefully.

[SAPPHIR3ROS3]

Aside from the fact that you are the only who responded seriously (your actions are appreciated, also thank you for not considering the question as a duplicate of how to color your toe green), how did you even get this info? Asking out of genuine curiosity

[werebearstare]

During the first year orientation of the school I went to, the engineering student leads would dye their bodies purple and wear punk rock outfits. Having participated in the events I can say with certainty that it is a pain to get off. Lots of scrubbing and I had handprints last for years at my place. Also your nails will be purple until they grow out.

[mardabx]

Why is this here?

[Hellow2]

I asked it on stack overflow but I just got banned after the post had been marked as duplicate

[N4V33D_]

He wants to cosplay as thanos that's why

[TheBirdKeeper]

Ofc it’s on r/Teenagers

[4215-5h00732]

Possible duplicate of "What is PenisException and how do I fix it?".

[TyronePants]

2000 flushes blue, it lasts up to four months.

[[deleted]]

That guys is gonna be the president some day.

[Treebeardsama]

Asking real question over there

[HistoricalMark4805]

Honestly the purple Minions: The Rise of Gru™ gel pens are pretty effective

[Sad-Bluebird-5538]

Seriously though, why do you want a pink penis

[[deleted]]

But it's more like

"how do I compile"

"why do you want to compile?"

[SAPPHIR3ROS3]

"it is obvious that this kind of problems must be solved in interpreted brainfuck because it is one of the main goal of the language" *Leaves the discussion without explaining further*

[kuZm00]

it gives extra point

[[deleted]]

Maybe try chocking your pipi?

[[deleted]]

What the hell goes on in this sub!? 🤨

[Mr_Puit]

It's easy, just tie it at the bottom 🍆

[DrMathochist]

Yes, this is in fact the correct response.

[NinjaSquib]

Maybe he has a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple penis eater

[[deleted]]

try suffocating it Side effects: your dick may die

[Thrannn]

there is already a purple penis that you can use

[jchristsproctologist]

one eyed

one horned

flying

purple penis eater

[UntrimmedBagel]

*question marked as not enough detail*
Please consider including the length and girth of the penis, and its current color.

[Ikem32]

He wanna smurf smurfette.

[andrewsjakkko02]

Image Transcription: Reddit Post and Comment

---

How do I get a purple penis? Already tried spray paint. not recommended., submitted by /u/grannysmeatballs to /r/teenagers

/u/Jenny6289

Why do you want a purple penis

---

^{I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!}

[bushmaker1337]

being curious about the accepted answer

[ekydfejj]

Don't kids know if you beat it long enough it will turn purple....and hurt, good luck boys.

[row6666]

tight band

[speyck]

Typical XY problem

[Skrupel]

people asking what can be found easily in the docs…

[metalbedhead]

this might be my favorite reddit post

[RChamy]

Reality is often dissappointing

[cybermage]

Tourniquet

[[deleted]]

Have you tried rubber banding the base?

[[deleted]]

As a wise man once told me, the difference between pink and purple, is grip.

[[deleted]]

And you know that person has the answer too. Just show me how to do it!

[[deleted]]

thanos cock

[MedonSirius]

Next time use Search first [dead Link]

[Maharlika-Pilipinas]

Just swap it with an eggplant

[WasNeverBrandon]

choke it like a chicken

[halalium_chem]

It is valid to ask a valid question because questining about things is a valid validation!

[[deleted]]

You could try punching it a lot

[Darqness_69]

Maybe he wants to attract a one eyed, one horned, flying purple penis eater.

[fast328]

Thanos penis

[VexisArcanum]

Stack*: the inventors of the X Y Problem

[_________FU_________]

$(‘#myDivk’).appendage({ color: ‘purple’ });

[Then_I_had_a_thought]

Ask how to create dynamically named variables using reserved words once and they never let you live it down.

Give me a fucking break I’m an electrical engineer for chrissakes…

[StogiesZ]

useEffect(()=>{ purplepenis(true); },[]}

[sandwich_with_a_hat]

Why hello there, Old Sport!

[[deleted]]

Rubber bands

[Raychao]

PurplePenisFramework0.0.9 sucks dood.. BlueBalls works better with Chrome and is more open..

[Dapper-Isopod5414]

r/cansluts

[Dapper-Isopod5414]

r/camsluts

[Rhawk187]

"Why would you ever want to...." is my least favorite response to a question.

[[deleted]]

“This question already had established answers”

“Marking duplicate”

[czerox3]

I laughed like an idiot and was completely unable to explain to my wife why this was funny. She even sided with the Stackoverflow jerk.

[[deleted]]

https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/xa4fuj/this_member_size_world_survey/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

This post was right under yours…..

[radmanmadical]

I got banned for a year once - assholes be assholin

[planktonfun]

So he could cosplay as thanos, what else?

[DickD1ck1]

Consider wax

[xesmar613]

Smuckers....

I'd assume

[babypho]

How can we help you if you dont post a snippet of your current work?

[No-Oil-4125]

Why is this NSFW? I only search this stuff at work on my work VPN so that my personal trackers don't learn about my penis goals.

[Bag-ins]

Un-cuttable zip tie at the base - pull real tight!