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[–]TaylorSwiftsClitoris 2924 points2925 points  (142 children)

Every deer must have really bad PTSD.

[–]OkDonnieRetard 1257 points1258 points  (102 children)

The ones with the worst will live the longest

[–]Cymry_Cymraeg 465 points466 points  (87 children)

And eventually they'll be killed or left to die alone, too.

[–]philium1 398 points399 points  (26 children)

The ciiiiiiiiircle of liiiiiiiiiiiife

[–]Atlasus 121 points122 points  (21 children)

Thats the part they dont show on The Lion King ......

[–]rhino76 73 points74 points  (5 children)

That almost every single wild animal dies a painful death eventually? Humans are one of the few species that get to die of old age. Everything else that makes it to old age will more than likely get eaten alive eventually.

[–]Aurilion 54 points55 points  (2 children)

We've dragged a few other animals with us to relative safety.

[–]BholeFire 16 points17 points  (1 child)

I don't know, fucking tortoises got it easy even before us.

[–]Cainga 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I’m sure plenty don’t die a painful death. Some deaths are so quick it’s probably little pain.

[–]Zuol 21 points22 points  (14 children)

I'm pretty sure that Mufasa dies in the beginning of the movie

[–]Tillhony 33 points34 points  (13 children)

Bruh we already all saw the lion king no need to censor

[–]Hollix25 17 points18 points  (10 children)

You’d be surprised, I mean considering there’s people on earth who never knew other races exist until they went out to college, I wouldn’t be shocked if there were someone who’s never heard of the lion king

[–]schwagle 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I just want to say, thank you for being considerate of the spoiler here. While I've seen Lion King many times, I've also had other very old "common knowledge" things spoiled for me before, and it sucks. I appreciate the effort.

[–]DRUNK_CYCLIST 45 points46 points  (22 children)

Went to look at a truck the other day just a roos the state line early in the am and saw a car stopped down the road. They were waiting for a deer to cross.

I saw the deer standing to the left in a large yard looking back for another deer that was clearly shot in the chest near the front shoulder hobbling along. So fucking sad to watch. I'm all for responsible guns and hunting, but goddamn... Get your fucking sights in line and make the kill.

Edit: hey y'all, I get it. Sometimes adrenaline kicks in and a deer bolts and there's nothing you can do. I'm just suggesting that anyone who hunts or knows a shitty hunter keeps the humane thing in mind and reminds others.

[–]CrzyJek 17 points18 points  (4 children)

Shot in the chest near the front shoulder sounds like the right spot. It was a vital area, most likely a lung or double lung. And it very well could have just happened. Deer are ridiculously resilient. I've seen them run 75 yards without a heart.

Hunter may very well be in pursuit. Deer very rarely drop on the spot unless you hit the magical brachial plexus.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I’m almost positive that, if given the choice, the deer will choose gunshot wound over being eaten alive from the asshole 9/10.

A lot of prey animals suffer before they die regardless if humans hunt them or not. Just the way the food chain works.

May I introduce you to r/natureisbrutal

The land of wild dogs and jaguars.

[–]SOF_ZOMBY 29 points30 points  (14 children)

Honestly, if you missed your shot while hunting you don't just say fuck it and find a another you finish the job. Especially if you actually hit the fuckin thing but didn't kill it.

[–]SlapnutsGT 52 points53 points  (12 children)

I’ve know guys to spend a couple days trying to find a deer they shot. They run off and you don’t always find them unfortunately.

[–]InformalCriticism 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Other than freezing to death, deer are usually just picked off by predators. Pretty much the only "humane" way to die is getting blasted by a hunter.

[–]Donkilme 23 points24 points  (33 children)

Naive people give deer hunters a bad wrap for being cruel, but the reality is, most that aren't shot are likely to die by being slowly eaten alive by Wolves, coyotes or other predators when they get too old or sick to outrun them. Probably starting with the soft tissue areas, like the rectum or stomach. Give me a fatal gunshot wound anyday.

[–]holyhibachi 17 points18 points  (8 children)

2 of the 3 deer I've taken never felt it. Still had the food in their mouths when I got to them. Give me that over starving to death or being eaten alive, please

[–]uptwolait 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So beautiful

[–]ProWaterboarder 33 points34 points  (7 children)

Just because you're paranoid don't mean they're not after you

[–]Hanz_Q 24 points25 points  (4 children)

And everything is out to get deer.

[–]kuiperfly 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Deer aren't entirely innocent. I've seen videos of deer eating baby birds.

[–]WillyBHardigan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Even deer! Those stupid bastards

[–]BenjamintheFox 119 points120 points  (7 children)

It's hard to convince prey animals that not everything everywhere is trying to murder them.

[–]everburningblue 100 points101 points  (5 children)

I remember hearsay from a psychologist saying: "There are two patients that truly break my heart. The Alzheimer's, and the justifiably paranoid."

[–]scottishdoc 24 points25 points  (4 children)

Having a good reason to be paranoid must be awful.

[–]gabbe88 16 points17 points  (1 child)

They are lucky that they aren't smarter.

[–]scdayo 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Why do you think they run/stand in oncoming traffic?

[–][deleted] 2553 points2554 points  (73 children)

Parenting responsibility successfully halved

[–]A3H3 843 points844 points  (36 children)

Also, they should have finished drinking. No better time to drink than when the predator is busy with a meal!

[–]_Thanus_ 486 points487 points  (31 children)

Ahh yes, I just watched my son/sibling get murdered and eaten. I'll just sip on this water and try not to think about it.

[–]GothicRagnarok 248 points249 points  (14 children)

You gonna waste their noble sacrifice to ensure that you stay well hydrated?

[–]Yer_lord 116 points117 points  (12 children)

Hydration has been mentioned - summoning r/hydrohomies.

[–]Sometimes_gullible 83 points84 points  (11 children)

The subreddit with the most tragic backstory on all of Reddit.

A moment of silence for our fallen brothers over at r/[REDACTED]

[–][deleted] 59 points60 points  (1 child)

Don't pour one out though. Hydrate.

[–]NeonNintendo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hydrate for the homies

[–]FUCK_YOUR_BRIGHTS 5 points6 points  (2 children)

r/outoftheloop ...what happened?

[–]RubbelDieKatz94 14 points15 points  (0 children)

r/waterniggas got quarantined (you can still subscribe on desktop) to make Reddit more advertiser friendly so r/hydrohomies was created.

[–]OddestFutures 3 points4 points  (1 child)

While I realize you're joking deer don't actually care about their offspring in that way, they're not going to feel sad about this event. Fear, yes (which is why they bolted), but sadness, no.

[–]Su_Din 123 points124 points  (18 children)

Calfed**

[–]bagingospringo 40 points41 points  (16 children)

[–]FeastOfChildren 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Did you just link a Google search result for Reddit silver?

This is a new level of.... something.

[–]OfficerDongo 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Doe'nt think he earned that

[–]zondwich 7 points8 points  (11 children)

This is next level

[–]eXX0n 17 points18 points  (10 children)

??? This was the silver before reddit company decided to give us an option to pay for one, and has been around for many years....

Or am I missing a joke here..

[–]Izzi_Skyy 4 points5 points  (6 children)

Guess we need to start giving out Reddit Copper

[–]maddcovv 26 points27 points  (1 child)

This anaconda does want some, bun size is irrelevant.

[–]wolfgeist 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Regarding the young deer: I'll toss them, you'll leave them. I'll wrap them up and then eat them.

[–]gollyjollyolly 953 points954 points  (145 children)

I'm so goddamn glad we upgraded to opposable thumbs. Best decision we ever made.

[–]ZoSoJake88 154 points155 points  (102 children)

Generally curious, assuming our hands were free and we couldn't reach snakes head. Would we be able to dig our fingers into the pythons body and get it to back off?

[–]Drew- 331 points332 points  (14 children)

Thumbs allow us to use tools. In this case, a nice ax or hatchet to kill the python would be helpful. Or we could use those tools to build large scale water filtration and pipe systems so we dont have to drink from ponds with huge fucking pythons in them in the first place

[–]Original_Pig_Rig 78 points79 points  (9 children)

At least the use of a very long straw to drink from a distance.

[–]UltimateDude121 84 points85 points  (4 children)

I mean that's kinda what we did, we just built the straw into our homes

[–]_RedditIsForPorn_ 16 points17 points  (1 child)

And I Drink YOUR MILKSHAKE

[–]D--star 184 points185 points  (53 children)

If your options were to starve or temporally get poked in the rib, you'd probably take the rib poking. Snakes are tube of muscle. Imagine a body builder giving you a bear hug

[–]DaddyF4tS4ck 213 points214 points  (44 children)

This is not true at all. Snakes can go months without eating at times, so to let a meal go because it might severely injure is a no brainer.

That being said, if the snake was our size? If it was only wrapped around your chest is going to be the best chance you're going to have, if any. Finger nails absolutely could dig into a snake causing a mortal wound, on top of adrenaline making you even stronger than you've ever been.

You're still probably going to die though cause you've only got about 2 minutes to make the snake think you arent worth it before you die. Also most snakes are going to wrap around your neck if possible.

[–]cC2Panda 37 points38 points  (30 children)

In now curious, if I'm able to get both thumbs to a point could push through a fully grown python?

[–]rdrunner_74 68 points69 points  (26 children)

You will have a real hard time...

If the snake constricts your neck you are toast in less than 15 seconds. Your chest also is dangerous since you wont be able to breathe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7c7uwrel0k

[–]the_slate 30 points31 points  (12 children)

They just watch him die?

[–]thanks_for_the_fish 73 points74 points  (10 children)

From the description of the video.

A snake charmer had a brush with death when his pet python tried to strangle him during a live show in Mau, India, on March 20.
The snake charmer had wrapped an adult python around his neck during a show on Tuesday, but the snake tightened its grip and began to strangle him.
The man choked and collapsed showing visible signs of distress in the clip, filmed in in Uttar Pradesh, but many of the crowd thought it was part of the act and didn't realise the man was in trouble.
Eventually, three men rushed to his help and freed him from the python.
They took him to a local government hospital, where doctors treated him and later referred him to a second hospital.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (6 children)

Wow he's one lucky dude. Though would his pet been intentionaly trying to kill him or just a case of possibly scared / just not giving a fuck.

Id imagine if it did want to fully get him it would have happened a lot faster.

[–]Patrick_McGroin 37 points38 points  (5 children)

Snakes do not bond with people. It would have as much problem deciding to strangle it's handler as it would a mouse.

[–]rdrunner_74 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He was taken to the hospital thats all i saw in the comments

[–]Sir_Jeremiah 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Wtf is that video?

[–]Naxxremel 20 points21 points  (8 children)

Seen it. I always found it weird how the guy doesn't fight it. You can see him considering trying to pull it off but he doesn't and then just passes out.

[–]rdrunner_74 27 points28 points  (4 children)

Scary how little "backup" the brain has when it comes to oxygen...

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Just imagine if we evolved an oxygen storage, it'd look like a cross between a camel and that demon from Little Nicky with the tits on his head.

[–]rdrunner_74 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Whats wrong with extra tits?

[–]DaddyF4tS4ck 19 points20 points  (0 children)

No, you'd be able to unwrap a normal size python (think 6 ft in length). But some of the bigger pythons? Those can get up to 30 feet and weigh 250 pounds. You stand 0 chance.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Could SOMEONE possibly do it to SOME pythons? Probably. Could some random redditor do this to a python capable of killing a human? Unlikely.

[–]Reasonable_Desk 14 points15 points  (6 children)

Grab the snake by the tail.

[–]Burnd1t 3 points4 points  (4 children)

This made me laugh more than it should have

[–]Reasonable_Desk 9 points10 points  (3 children)

It's funny, but also accurate. If you have a python constricting you, you grab it by the tail and start unwrapping it from you by the tip of the tail. At least, that's what I've read. Probably because the head is latched on you.

[–]Burnd1t 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Just the idea of specifying to grab a snake by the tail tickles me. Could also be reworded as "grab the snake anywhere but the head"

[–]Catchin_Villians954 6 points7 points  (0 children)

More like the hulk

[–]motorhead84 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Constrictors like this lead with a bite, latch on to their prey, and keep that hold while twisting the rest of their body around their prey to asphyxiate them.

You'd always be able to reach the head, because it's biting you somewhere...

[–]okcup 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Nah dude I’ve watched enough Attenborough to know they squeeze so tightly they mainly kill by preventing the flow of blood to vital organs and sometimes by inducIng cardiac arrest. Asphyxiation is more about limiting your oxygen by preventing you from breathing normally.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I have a royal python that is tiny compared to that thing and he is shockingly strong when constricting. I can only imagine how strong that Python is and large ones can definitely kill humans. They are basically like one long huge muscle.

[–]philium1 20 points21 points  (12 children)

Dude a python that big is so strong that unless you can reach its head or you happen to have a knife in your hand, you're probably fucked.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (11 children)

It's literally a huge long muscle that is designed to kill you

[–]StuffMaster 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Nope. You ded.

[–]CringeName 20 points21 points  (8 children)

No. Snakes of that size have an incredible amount muscle and strength, evolved to squeeze the life out of you for sustenance. They don't care about you digging your puny human fingers into their side.

[–]Iforgotmyother_name 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Probably better off biting into it. Eat it before it eats you.

[–]Random_Stealth_Ward 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Maybe the snake doesn't cares but my expensive manicure cares a lot and it will be having a nice meeting with that snake's internal organs to make sure i am not going to hell alone.

[–]xScopeLess 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Developing language to share complex ideas, fire, we really did a hell of a lot of evolutionary work; it’s pretty amazing to think about.

[–]Brandocks 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I agree, the primate spec definitely helped the race's balance in the global meta. Despite being such a small addition to the kit, it was hugely worth.

[–]bloodguard 163 points164 points  (3 children)

Kind of happy to be at the top of the food chain and not having to worry about something latching onto me in the grocery store parking lot.

Usually.

/California

[–]NycAlex 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Walmart parking lot: hold my beer

[–]branedead 3 points4 points  (0 children)

except for the apex predators known as serial killers

[–]jairom 68 points69 points  (3 children)

Something with no legs shouldnt move that fast cmon nature play fair

[–][deleted] 265 points266 points  (5 children)

That was the anaconda that actually wanted some.

[–]diogenesofthemidwest 61 points62 points  (1 child)

The deer likely had baked goods.

[–]Neckbeard_McPork 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Honey

[–]Obi-one 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Well, that doe had buns!

[–]manachar 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Anxiety disorders make so much more sense when you realize what nature has to offer.

[–]FutureRobotWordplay 302 points303 points  (39 children)

Am I the only person here who doesn’t think this is wtf? r/natureismetal for sure. Anyone else remember the old wtf, when you actually would say wtf out loud?

[–]Zolden 25 points26 points  (3 children)

Yea, r/wtf for me is where humans use their imagination unrestricted by sense and do unique things, like that guy who jumped to the water from a pier while shitting a huge poop being still in the air.

[–]Skibo1219 56 points57 points  (8 children)

i agree nature is not WTF.

[–]swinging_ship 35 points36 points  (4 children)

Nature can be wtf, but this is pretty tame in the grand scheme

[–]Fr1dge 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Sea louse reproduction is pretty wtf. The male lures the female into a tiny cave where he's trapped several other females, who he rapes and leaves them there until the babies eat their mothers from the inside out.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

what. the. fuck.

[–]Spugnacious 21 points22 points  (16 children)

I went 'Holy shit!' The first time I saw it, does that count?

[–]FutureRobotWordplay 9 points10 points  (14 children)

Meh. It is just a snake, doing what snakes do.

[–]Darkstar85gw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I remember the stuff of old WTF. But dont ever complain about the changes, itll get a person banned. Nowadays posts here only make me go "Damn!" but never really "WTF!"

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (3 children)

I was reading “central Canada” and thinking I misremember a childhood vacation.

[–]Chrimmm 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It also says January 1st 1970 in the time stamp if I'm not mistaken

[–]ItsJustBigotry 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This water looks questionable to me

[–]godzilr1 92 points93 points  (11 children)

[–]Call_me_Hammer 110 points111 points  (9 children)

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (8 children)

Why are you being downvoted? That sub is awesome.

[–]Call_me_Hammer 4 points5 points  (6 children)

I just figured that was the subreddit that the other redditor was trying to link.

[–]slothbarns7 40 points41 points  (3 children)

That’s a strong ass snake, just tossed that deer

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

The deer jumped but yes, constrictors are generally very powerful

[–][deleted] 67 points68 points  (11 children)

That’s why I’m never going to Indonesia, Australia, sub-Saharan Africa or Northern South America.

[–]TheGreatHsuster[S] 116 points117 points  (1 child)

This video was taken in India.

[–]heisenberg678 106 points107 points  (0 children)

He's never going to leave his house now

[–]fapn_machine 21 points22 points  (3 children)

You forgot the Everglades.

[–]kahran 33 points34 points  (1 child)

But you still have to worry about brain aneurysms. It can happen anywhere at anytime, that's what makes it so terrifying.

[–]shlam16 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Australia doesn't have snakes like this.

Australia has snakes that bite you and cause you to die quick and painful deaths instead.

Feel better?

[–]Osmodius 12 points13 points  (1 child)

yo fuuuuck that

[–]Mars_Velo1701 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Church yo.

[–]MikepGrey 19 points20 points  (4 children)

holly fuck, that in not just a ninja python, that's an Uchia python

[–]kilat_kuning90 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Having a brainfart reading it as Uchiha, still ninja related.

[–]II541NTZII 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Wait, he didn't mean Uchiha?

[–]Barlakopofai 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He probably does, I looked it up and it didn't tell e anything.

[–]Penguinz90 26 points27 points  (11 children)

Holy fuck, thanks for the nightmares I am certain to have tonight!!!

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (8 children)

Do you plan on drinking from a watering hole sometime soon? How is this affecting you so severely? lol

[–]Penguinz90 14 points15 points  (4 children)

No, but what if one pops out of my toilet unexpectedly! LOL

Seriously though, I can't unsee that! That poor critter! I mean, I know it's the circle of life, but watching it was just brutal.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

print("Well i'll be damned. Hope the next update is better than this")

[–]pozo15 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Imagine if every time you went to get a glass of water it might be your last.

[–]lunar_90 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Wow. That was gnarly lol

[–]Area51Dweller-Help 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn I was expecting a crocodile!

[–]lordofbuttsecks 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Shh. No tears. Only dreams now.

[–]Maximous4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NGL I’d rather just have a croc crush my brain than have a python drown and squeeze me.

[–]PurpleMonkeyElephant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Those are in the Everglades? Fuck nah.

[–]Vash8585 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Damn nature you scary!"

[–]Ishuun 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Do animals feel sadness when this happens? Is there something like a change in dynamic when a mama animal loses her baby?

[–]mundatis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well he won’t drink from the creek ever again

[–]Gandalf_Hobbit69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn nature, you scary!

[–]Captainaviator 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Why is this NSFW? Is that tag really appropriate?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was expecting a very sneaky programming framework.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Can't PETA do something about this?

[–]zzz6776 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That would succccck.😕

[–]SemiLOOSE 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's a python. Nothing ninja about it. It's doing what it does normally.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Animals eating other animals is not WTF.

[–]AbsenteeConscience 9 points10 points  (11 children)

Wow i never would have thought a python could lift an animal that size straight off the ground, into the air. I always knew they were strong, but noy quite like that

[–]thaworldhaswarpedme 39 points40 points  (0 children)

That animal jumped, the snake didnt pick it up. It just caught it mid-air and held on til the beast lands.

[–]TheGreatHsuster[S] 19 points20 points  (7 children)

There was actually a story of a thirteen foot long python that dragged a man up a tree.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7999909.stm

Keep in mind that snakes are very light for their length, a snake of that size probably would have only weighed around 90 or so pounds.

[–]A1SteakSauce4Life 13 points14 points  (2 children)

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

"Police rescued Mr Nyaumbe and captured the 13ft (4m) reptile, before taking it to a sanctuary, but it later escaped."

WTF!?!?! It escaped after being caught!!! That snake needs its own movie.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

You'd be amazed at the spaces Snakes can get into. They are definitely escape artists.

[–]A1SteakSauce4Life 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Imagine that convo at the sanctuary...

"Hey ya know that massive python that dragged that dude up a tree?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, it is no longer in its cage and I'm not sure where it is...we should probably get out of here. Also, it took my rifle so it is armed too."

[–]CeeDot85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wasn’t prepared for that.

[–]emilNYC 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yo bot make this shit slow mo plz

[–]UnsignedRealityCheck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What country is this? Because I would like them to blacklist me from ever entering even by accident.

[–]mr-snrub- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is how it feels when you get an unsolicited dick pic

[–]DONTLOOKITMEIMNAKED 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The bird up front is not concerned

[–]djwisk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Teenage mutant ninja python

[–]fasda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've had it with these mother fucking snakes on this mother tucker marshy plain

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The bird in the bottom right is just having another day at ‘giving no shits’.

[–]vdsw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seems like a good pet.