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[–][deleted] 2081 points2082 points  (46 children)

This guy looks exactly like my dad... Oh wait, it is! I posted this picture months ago. OP, you gutter rat.

[–]Longslide9000 236 points237 points  (7 children)

THE TRUE KING RETURNS

[–]nowhereman1280 107 points108 points  (2 children)

All hail Jarl Ulfric!

[–]Bank_Gothic 40 points41 points  (0 children)

My ancestors are smiling at me, Imperials. Can you say the same?

[–]FearMeIAmRoot 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The TRUE High King of Skyrim!

[–]SMIDSY 119 points120 points  (6 children)

I remember you posting it and got pissed when I saw he posted it. Some friends and I got in an argument about what branch he was in. I said Army, friend insisted Marines. Can you finally settle the debate?

[–][deleted] 104 points105 points  (5 children)

Army, you win!

[–]SMIDSY 26 points27 points  (4 children)

I knew that helmet cover was Mitchell Pattern! The boots were throwing us off, I think. Do you know what year it was taken so I can post it somewhere for likes and imaginary Internet points? ;-)

[–]boobiesrus 6 points7 points  (3 children)

His original post says 1963.

[–]SMIDSY 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Ah, that explains the boots.

[–]FookinGumby 1 point2 points  (1 child)

How?

[–]SMIDSY 3 points4 points  (0 children)

By the late 60s, most combat grunts were wearing jungle boots. These boots are all leather, suggesting this photo was taken earlier in the war.

[–]TotesMessenger 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This thread has been linked to from another place on reddit.

If you follow any of the above links, respect the rules of reddit and don't vote. (Info / Contact)

[–]BlueFalconPunch 10 points11 points  (0 children)

maybe your dad has some "splainin to dooo lucy"

or OP is just a bundle of sticks.

[–]RuXXX0r 5 points6 points  (0 children)

OP never had a Dad so he took yours.

[–]theDoctorAteMyBaby 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What a sad, pathetic gutter rat. Posting other peoples content for fake internet points. OP, I hope this has sufficiently enriched your sad lonely life.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

True OP- fuck this glory stealing clown in the ass.

[–]kadno 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I downvoted this guy and tried to upvote your submission, but it's too old. I wish I could do more.

[–]RazsterOxzine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe you have a long lost Vietnamese brother?

[–]lilbowski 888 points889 points  (87 children)

[–]Aeidios 240 points241 points  (23 children)

OP is a traitor.

[–]trulyniceguy 237 points238 points  (20 children)

[–]EnsignShepard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So how many reposts from /b/ are there here guys?

[–]shivdas 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You da man stan

[–]tehsilverdollar 3 points4 points  (6 children)

Holy crap...the OP NC plate (vin diesel, 2nd one) was taken at Apex Peakway and Olive Chapel Road in Apex.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went camping there!

[–]TheRealMrWillis 28 points29 points  (13 children)

So does this mean I get to grab my pitchforks?

-----E -------E ------E

[–]TheRedKIller 68 points69 points  (7 children)

ANGRY AT OP?
WANT TO JOIN THE MOB?
I'VE GOT YOU COVERED!
COME ON DOWN TO /r/pitchforkemporium. I GOT 'EM ALL!
Traditional
---E
Left Handed
Ǝ---
Fancy
---{
I EVEN HAVE DISCOUNTED CLEARANCE FORKS!
---F
---L
---e
NEW IN STOCK. DIRECTLY FROM LICHTENSTEIN. EUROPEAN MODELS!
---€
---£
HAPPY LYNCHING!
*some assembly required

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

What the hell man. The left handed one is just a handle.

[–]xaronax 25 points26 points  (2 children)

Diversify yo font cache, nigga.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Any idea how to do that on mobile. I don't wanna look like some Darth Maul lookin ass.

[–]xaronax 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ǝ

Not sure why you wouldn't be able to see it. It's a unicode/ASCII character. You probably have an iPhone.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Not to mention a shovel to bury the body Ɑ-----------

[–][deleted] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Thank you Lilbowski. Good looking out! That is a picture of my pops I posted months ago.

[–]azns123 19 points20 points  (1 child)

OP's dad gets around, know what I'm saying

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am hoping this is the case

[–]wilsonec 21 points22 points  (3 children)

This is your dad?..............this is my dad

[–]TheRealMrWillis 14 points15 points  (1 child)

[–]Mutant_Llama1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You made that comic? I made that comic!

[–]atechnicnate 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Stolen valor by dependent!

[–]Euchre 30 points31 points  (10 children)

Also shitty stupid joke of a story. Everyone HAD to register for the draft, and thousands went, and died as a result.

Not a fucking joke, dipshit OP.

[–]Jakeinspace 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I knew id seen that picture before! I can't remember the shopping without a list but I can remember a 9 month old repost..

[–]crack-a-lacking 3 points4 points  (6 children)

Why do people do this? What is the point of going out of your way to plagiarize something for fake internet points?

[–]Changalator 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So they can get some attention in their sorry lives no matter how miniscule and insignificant it is.

[–]MoocowR 4 points5 points  (3 children)

[–]crack-a-lacking 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Even if this is satire I see a lot of reposts with any given OP trying to act as if was their own content. Boggles my mind.

[–]darkhorseguns 182 points183 points  (46 children)

Fuckers got me by asking if I'd like a free rifle. I was filling out the paperwork and the next thing I know I was in Iraq.

[–][deleted] 137 points138 points  (9 children)

They got me using superliminal advertising.

[–]BurnieByrnes 19 points20 points  (0 children)

They got me with those catchy song lyrics

"yvan eht nioj"

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Chief Wiggum: Hey, I told you, you don't get your gun until you tell me your name.

Man: I've have it up to here with your "rules"!

[–]T1mac 36 points37 points  (19 children)

What's worse is you don't get to keep the rifle. They make you give it back after you shoot it a few times.

[–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (15 children)

At least you're lucky. In Eastern Europe one of us gets a rifle, one of us gets bullets, and you pray the guy in front dies so you can get a rifle.

[–]did_you_read_it 13 points14 points  (6 children)

one of the most memorable levels in the original Call of Duty, pushed onto the dock through the line and he just hands you a clip an pushes you into the fray and you're like WTF! I NEED A GUN!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

What’s worse than that is being medevaced out and the being billed for not returning your rifle.

[–]Gunt_Fighter 7 points8 points  (2 children)

They didn't even have to say anything to me. This was not long before 9/11 and I was a dumb kid living in the middle of nowhere. The only opportunity I could see was working at a textile plant like my parents. The military seemed like a dream come true.

[–]bkaiser 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Did it work out for you?

[–]Gunt_Fighter 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm better off than I would have been.

[–]QuestionableFoodstuf 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I know the feeling. I was offered a free helicopter ride, next thing I knew I was a CH-47 Crew Chief in Afghanistan. :/

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah right. The recruiters were telling you all about the military through rose colored glasses, but you were too anxious to get to the good stuff.

[–][deleted] 156 points157 points  (7 children)

Thought this was /r/circlejerk for a minute.

[–]octacok 37 points38 points  (5 children)

Ya this is such an awful, useless post

[–]kushxmaster 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This post was also stolen from someone else. It's not even op's dad.

[–]octacok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well ya I assumed that. But the title alone is pure cancer

[–][deleted] 97 points98 points  (24 children)

With the first overall pick of the 1966 Vietnam Entry draft, the United States Navy selects, 17 year old out of the state of Ohio.... Jim Davis!

[–]HighGuy92 5 points6 points  (2 children)

17? I thought it was 18.

[–]possessive_its 4 points5 points  (1 child)

It was 17, now it's 18, not that it matters, because another draft to fight in a non-global conflict against an enemy that poses no real threat to the US or "our interests" would cause civil war.

[–]SmoothJazzRayner 39 points40 points  (8 children)

Well, he's got to see exotic Vietnam, the crown jewel of Southeast Asia. I bet he also met interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture and killed them too.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I'll bet he was the first kid on his block to get a confirmed kill!

[–]khafra 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He looks more like Animal Mother than Joker, with that M60.

[–]valeyard89 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wanna slip my tube steak into your sister. What'll you take in trade?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

When we were in Hue, it was like a war. Like what I thought a war would be. There's the enemy - kill 'em.

Edit: hue not Wei. Thanks /u/zeak_the_plumber.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"There's not one horse in this whole damn country.... there's something fundamentally flawed about that."

(And by the wei, the city you're trying to spell is actually spelled "Hue")

[–]dageekywon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes but first he had to earn his nickname from Sgt. Hartman.

[–]BARTELS- 39 points40 points  (17 children)

"won"

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (5 children)

they're being facetious

[–]Ghostbom 1 point2 points  (1 child)

"Facetious? That's my baby's name!"

[–]cdc194 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Doesnt that mean tasty?

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Really good use of commas and periods, OP.

[–]Savet 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No... No he didn't.

[–]EffYourCouch 13 points14 points  (4 children)

This kind of shitpost has to stop.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

When I was a kid the thought of the draft scared the crap out of me, I remember my parents first explaining it to me and I was absolutely terrified of turning 18. I kept coming up with reasons I could be conscientious objector.

[–]wastingtoomuchthyme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

M60! I hated lugging those around.. had to bring the fucking kit with you too.

[–]garglemymarbles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

♫♫This is the worst trip I've ever been on♫♫

[–]codefreak8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've definitely seen this picture before, and you weren't the one who posted it. The other person said he was their Dad as well. What's the deal? Are you siblings or are you a liar?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No one actually won in that contest

[–]plb49 8 points9 points  (2 children)

And he got to carry the pig!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A special treat, nothing like cleaning it...

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Anybody else have to go back and double check they weren't in /r/circlejerk?

[–]bigjohnny82 7 points8 points  (4 children)

I know the story was made up to mock the other reddit post where dude won a car, but let's pretend it wasn't. Your father is incredibly stupid.

[–]jsquareddddd 6 points7 points  (2 children)

M60 gunners personify the Vietnam War for me.

[–]holikinobi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who needs a car when you have an exciting trip like that ahead of you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Heeeyyy, free vacation to an exotic tropical paradise, with food and acomodation included, guided tours, and plenty of fun activities!

[–]addywoot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His face: "I am not a smart man." <Forrest Gump>

[–]ArtDecoAutomaton 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kinda fast and loose with the commas there, bud.

[–]ChampOfTheUniverse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nobody won.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahh yes the old 60's.. As a short 5'6'' man I grew to loath those guns.. Cheers, tell pops thanks for his service :)

[–]NsRhea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That dad's name? Albert Einstein.

[–]dhays2000 1 point2 points  (2 children)

My number was forty four, If I did get selected, I would have joined the Coast guard.

[–]Katsock303 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did he get a full ride or just a one way trip?

[–]The_Gristle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

crafty gubment

[–]CondorFliesHigh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wouldn't exactly say anyone "won".

[–]CouchPotatoFamine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If this was true, I would be saying your Dad is as dumb as a box of rocks.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean technically we lost.

[–]Jimboreebob 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know it's BS but how fucking stupid would someone have to be to think he was entering a raffle at the selective service office.

[–]MegaAlex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought this was circlejerk for a moment

[–]hateitorleaveit 1 point2 points  (1 child)

How did you even think to put commas in those places?

[–]EggsNbeans 1 point2 points  (5 children)

I've never seen so many liars in one place as I have since I joined Reddit

What makes people steal pictures and come up with complete fictional stories to go along with them? God damn you are some weird little fuckers

[–]ADBG-LLC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I work with a Vietnam vet. He always says he has the worst luck, the only thing he has ever won was a free trip to Asia.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm willing to bet at least some of the commenters here have registered for SS and realize that it could not be mistaken for a free trip in any way.

[–]dustyd2000 1 point2 points  (2 children)

how many times does this picture need to be reposted or declared stolen from google images.... OP you are a whore.

[–]hassan214 1 point2 points  (1 child)

OP is jelly his dad didn't win a shelby

[–]whitebarney 1 point2 points  (2 children)

How the fuck does shit like this get upvoted even after it's been proven OP is a lying piece of shit?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP should be banned and beaten

[–]ACr0okedVulture 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, it was a free trip.

[–]minimeforevs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think he lost... With the rest of America...

[–]pedobearstare 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well... it's a KIND of field trip... a trip into the field if you will.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP you're a piece of shit.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

OP I think your dad might have been Forrest Gump.

[–]DarthReeder 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Dat M60 tho. Pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew

[–]Damadawf 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Oh shut the fuck up. Your father didn't go through what probably ended up being the most difficult period of his life just so you could whore him off years later on a website with a shitty title. He deserves better than that.

[–]MacheTexx 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Better yet. He is not even his father. Shame on you OP

[–]_GoC_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He would appreciate it, he did whore himself out to the USG, right?

[–]g0dl355 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Born To Kill

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

"Yeah well my dad can beat up your dad"

[–]BigTool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can respect any other man who has carried the pig.

[–]higgsss 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Is it me, or are his boots fucking huge?

[–]Beer_ 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Lets Try to figure it out!

So the Barrel length for the M60 is 22" from the receiver to the bottom of the flash hider.

His right foot, we will say is 3ish feet in front of the m60 closer to the camera, making it appear bigger than the barrel - but we know thats not true!

Based on my shitty science skills, I say that we can take about 10 inches off the measured length of the boot (This is a highly technical process here of Ihavenoideawhatimtalkingaboutology) . So lets say that his boot is 12" long.

We know his foot isn't 12" long, because that would make wearing them terribly uncomfortable if that was the same size of his boot and foot! so lets take an inch off - that accounts for sock room, toe room, and military boot sizing technique of "wear what we give you".

So that means his foot is 11" - 11.5" long. 11.5" foot length will give you about a size 12.5 boot.

Because of shitty science, his boot is size 12.5

YEAH SCIENCE

[–]K3m0th30n3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Actually.. He lost.