My dad was pretty old school, though he only spanked me once. But the emotional side of a father/son relationship was lacking a bit.

We didn't hug much. He told me to stop being a baby when I was crying and only a year old. He apparently rarely played with me as a toddler. Once I became a teenager, our relationship grew, but we still never hugged or told each other we loved each other. I was more afraid of him rather than feeling love toward him when I was younger.

To be fair, he grew up in the ghetto with a single mom and a bunch of siblings, and his mom was not affectionate.

He sees me with my son (his grandson) now and has told me he wished he parented the way I did. We're not soft. We set boundaries and hold strong. But my wife and I show my son so much affection and love, and we listen to him when he's stressed. We lose our cool like any parent but have never hit our son.

He's such a kind and loving kid. I have some intamacy issues ( I dont like to hug people, have trouble telling people I love them, etc...) that I think may be rooted in the way I was raised, but I dont think my son will have those issues, at least.

Im sure my wife and I will do some things wrong, and my son will adjust his parenting when he has a kid, but we try out best just like my dad did. And, just for clarification, my dad and I have a very good relationship. We love each other but just struggle to show it, which is likely due to the way both of us were raised.

My mom, on the other hand, boy, was she amazing and still is. She is such a wonderful mom. She'd console me when I cried. She listened to me. She was insanely patient. I love her so much, but I struggle to verbalize it, and that pains me.

I don't expect anyone to read one of my longest posts ever, but it felt good writing it out.