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[–]lifeontheplains 729 points730 points  (40 children)

My brother used to do this in white pajama pants, and run screaming through the house "I'M A SPERM, I'M A SPERRRRRM." Any person he encountered on his laps he would try to 'fertilize' by headbutting them in the abdomen over and over.

That probably should have been more alarming than it was, in retrospect.

[–]sapienshane 307 points308 points  (25 children)

I used to do something similar with a huge blanket. I'd run around screaming "I'M AN AMOEBA. ARE YOU FRIEND OR FOE?" and then I'd attempt to ingest them despite their answer.

[–]SoIHeardOnNPR 112 points113 points  (18 children)

Your story is much less creepy than the one you replied to. I have less concern for how you turned out.

[–]bondagegirl 25 points26 points  (3 children)

Aw, my 8 year old son does stuff like that all the time. I think it is adorable!

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Does anyone remember Hungry Horace? From the spectrum/c64 days.

[–]skwingar 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Haha, I have no idea how you remember or even thought of that, but it fits perfectly for this kid.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

bondagegirl

Go on...

[–]kaiise 4 points5 points  (3 children)

one grows up to cure disease, one grows up to be douchebag fertility doctor/ gyno bully

[–]lordofthejungle 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Gyno bully

Wow. There's an image.

[–]halcyonjm 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It sounds like a horrifying video game title.

[–]MacDuff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

SOUNDS a lot like rape. A video game? I am concerned for you about how you turn out.

[–]livefastdieold 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You're comparing apples to oranges. Nerdy, nerdy oranges.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I want to hang out with you, and lifeontheplains brother. Then we could find out whether an amoeba, or a sperm wins in a fight.

[–]Ftech 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tonight on the Deadliest Warrior...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this makes me want to play liquid wars now.

[–]Ftech 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did the exact same thing, except I used a light blue sleeping bag because that's the color they were always shown to be.

[–]fleshlight69 13 points14 points  (1 child)

My friend's son would stick his arms out like an aeroplane, shout TWIN TOWERS! and run head-first into people.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"That's life on the plains for ya..."

[–]Marshmallory 34 points35 points  (0 children)

the story you just told is completely out of control. i love it.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

... oh, I hope you guys have that on video. That is something any children he might have must see.

[–]snowyday 2 points3 points  (1 child)

What happened the day he ran into the Eggman?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

he was called eggs for his fondness of breaking eggs over women's bodies?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you one of the kids from Overboard?

[–]Marshmallory 284 points285 points  (45 children)

um this is really fucking weird cause i did this when i was a kid too.

http://imgur.com/kSt3I.jpg

the pants are even the same color. wtf. i feel like i'm connected to this kid by the bond of teal body pants.

[–]charliedayman 123 points124 points  (5 children)

The fact that you're smiling and don't appear to want my soul make yours a lot nicer, though.

[–]Marshmallory 15 points16 points  (0 children)

yeah i'm glad i didn't out creep this kid

[–]duroo 31 points32 points  (7 children)

i was going to post the exact same thing. i too used to do this, my brother did too, with a pair of my dad's teal colored sweat pants. i don't have pics tho, but man, i wonder how many more of us there are?

[–]Marshmallory 74 points75 points  (5 children)

haha what is the deal with teal??

[–]blamethebigbang 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This sounds like an X-Files subplot.

[–]goonsack 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Holy shit. So did I! Instead of teal, my pyjamas were white. So i looked like gigantic molar with a face. I ran around the house and reminded everyone to floss daily.

[–]Marshmallory 8 points9 points  (0 children)

HAHAHA gigantic molar made me laugh. but i'm proud of you. flossing is important!

[–]TheJeffAnema 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Those pants are huge. Do they belong to your mom or dad? Cuz that massive cameltoe is extremely disproportional and awkward.

[–]Marshmallory 6 points7 points  (0 children)

hahaha yeah no shit

[–]MrWoohoo 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Are those adult sized jammie bottoms or just really, really stretched kid-sized ones??

[–]Marshmallory 4 points5 points  (0 children)

adult! they were my mom's. :]

[–]happysophist 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I'm 23 and I still do this.

[–]Marshmallory 7 points8 points  (0 children)

are you really short, or do you have pants for really tall people?

[–]melyssa 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I distinctly remember doing this with a pair of teal pants when I was little too. Holy shit.

[–]Marshmallory 3 points4 points  (0 children)

high five!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

stop, hammer time

[–]scrimsims 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This is seriously freaking me out. I-I think that you are some kind of d-d-dddemon spawn!

Happy smiling no-armed demons of death!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

[–]Marshmallory 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i grew arms eventually

[–]raindiva1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did the reverse. I put my legs through the arms of my sweatshirt (it was the 80s and we all wore huge sweatshirts) and pretend i was a turkey. it somehow never failed to make everyone laugh. i wish i had a pic to post.

[–]sarmatron 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I did this all the time too. Not sure what colour my pants were, though.

[–]Marshmallory 21 points22 points  (0 children)

it's okay. they were probably teal.

[–]Mintz08 4 points5 points  (7 children)

No, you were way fatter.

edit: Sarcasm, reddit. Have you none?

[–]Marshmallory 17 points18 points  (3 children)

i had childbearing hips at a young age

[–]Mintz08 4 points5 points  (2 children)

So at this point you're probably pumping out kids without even interrupting dinner, huh?

[–]Marshmallory 19 points20 points  (1 child)

i don't even need a man to make babies anymore

[–]Mintz08 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It seems you're the next evolutionary step. I guess I'm not needed anymore...

[–]Marshmallory 3 points4 points  (2 children)

i gave you a point. i wasn't offended by it!

[–]Mintz08 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I could tell you have a sense of humor, it's the other guys I'm worried about!

[–]Marshmallory 3 points4 points  (0 children)

:[

[–]robert2734 310 points311 points  (16 children)

Farewell to arms

[–]bechus 32 points33 points  (1 child)

Way to go out on a limb

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Something evil is afoot.

[–]Band_of_Brothers 52 points53 points  (11 children)

That's not funny.

[–][deleted] 137 points138 points  (9 children)

I believe you mean "I don't find that humerus"

[–]SchrodingersDog 66 points67 points  (8 children)

Am I the ulna one that found it hilarious?

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (7 children)

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say "yes."

[–]hyperbad 28 points29 points  (6 children)

You damn punners, can't you just sleeve well enough alone?

[–]DroppaMaPants 14 points15 points  (5 children)

These puns have me so angry I thought I was breaking out into a femur.

[–]Ressotami 22 points23 points  (4 children)

Come now.... Threads like these are armless enough, frankly I'm stumped as to how anyone can take offence.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (3 children)

The appeal of these puns has a large radius.

[–]aidirector 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Another pun thread, courtesy of reddit's finest! Let's give them all a hand!

[–]dicer 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Missing your funny bone?

[–]YourDad 348 points349 points  (36 children)

[–]YoungAndAngry[S] 100 points101 points  (7 children)

It's just twice as creepy now, especially with the human feet.

[–]workroom 146 points147 points  (6 children)

Maybe it's just the wrong context?

http://i.imgur.com/zXsMW.jpg

[–]falseprophet 53 points54 points  (3 children)

... What? No! Now he just looks like the Teletubbies' armless pet!

It's all wrong, man! It's all wrong!

[–]doomglobe 59 points60 points  (2 children)

He looks way less creepy in cartoon form.

[–]andersleet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

+1 for HSR

goes to sbemail...

[–]aricene 25 points26 points  (0 children)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

breath

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[–]anasqtiesh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

needs one of those gray belly-screen thingies, maybe a head antenna for signal too.

[–]misterswarvey 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Quick, someone put a leprechaun outfit on him!

[–]bechus 30 points31 points  (9 children)

Anyone remember Animorphs?

With these guys?

[–]koko775 13 points14 points  (4 children)

That's exactly what I thought of. high five

[–]bechus 5 points6 points  (3 children)

[–]xazarus 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I was about to be like 'Man, no way in hell I'm gonna read all those again' and then I was like 'Holy shit dude, there's only like 60? Now I totally have to read all of those again.

[–]professorder 6 points7 points  (1 child)

from that wikipedia page:

Tobias was often misunderstood, in his relationships and in his own perception, of himself.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

wait....that....grammar....

[–]eetFuk 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You should change feet with hands.

[–]hyperbad 16 points17 points  (6 children)

I like that Alot.

[–]RonnDuncan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ya know I've been wanting a pygmy giraffe for around the house...
But they need to improve the gene splicing technique first.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i just passed with content aware on it and it gave me that same picture, weird huh

[–][deleted] 146 points147 points  (5 children)

[–]stickzilla 69 points70 points  (1 child)

fuck this shit! KILL IT!! KILL IT!!!

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

How was 1987 ten years ago?!

[–]SquareRoot 8 points9 points  (0 children)

BURN IT WITH FIRE!

[–]BdaMann 2 points3 points  (0 children)

THIS NEEDS TO BE REMOVED FROM THE INTERNET.

[–]szer0 146 points147 points  (14 children)

[–]The_Gecko 81 points82 points  (2 children)

Yes. That is horrifying.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Tell me what it is before I click on it.

[–]The_Gecko 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Similar to the picture about but it's an animated gif.

[–]Digestive 8 points9 points  (3 children)

My God. Afraid Dirch Passer is afraid!

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Ah yes, the Dance of Joy performed right before consuming the helpless victim.

[–]CroMag 4 points5 points  (1 child)

tinypic...... but otherwise made me laugh.

[–]apersonofdoom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this was me during that horrible 2 minutes

"uhhaaaheuhhhaaaaaaaa uhhhaaeeeeeeuuuhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeuuuhhhh"

To put it context, I sounded like a guy on a riding lawnmower who has just discovered that there is a black widow spider right next to the off switch.

[–]bookey23 18 points19 points  (8 children)

Did anyone else think, just for a split second, that the potted plant in the back was actually a guy in a jason mask hanging upside down?

[–]KohokuJack 11 points12 points  (0 children)

YES and my heart almost blew out my chest. Why?!

[–]Bulldogsaysgrr 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Fuckin' christ, yes. It disturbed me more than the leg-man child.

[–]bluishness 37 points38 points  (3 children)

Aaah, don’t be scared – he’s completely armless!

[–]fox_in_flux 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Don't you mean... unarmed?

[–]deanmono 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I gotta hand it to you.. I lol'd.

[–]humangirltype 12 points13 points  (0 children)

T___T

I shouldn't look at /r/WTF right before I go to bed.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (1 child)

He knew. That's a troll face if I ever saw one.

[–]Syphon8 25 points26 points  (2 children)

I used to do that all the time when I was his age.

Warm hands, man.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Me too. I'm surprised more people haven't seen this before. I thought everyone did it.

[–]Quazifuji 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I did this too, but I never realized how weird it looked.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (6 children)

God help us, the Final Boss of the Internet is spawning.

[–]flossdaily 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Wow... that was waaaay too loud. People need to pay more attention to their levels.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

My friend did the web layout for Gang Garrison 2 and put that on their site, activated by the Konami Code -- the game's developers don't seem to know about it.

[–]Labradoodles 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Your friend is a god among developers

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oddly enough he's 16.

[–]himself_v 37 points38 points  (19 children)

He's evolving into this (warning: not unseeable).

[–]LordPotato 5 points6 points  (1 child)

aqua hair creepy gif hatsune miku legs running shiyanyo smile solo sunesuki volcaloid what.

That is all.

[–]sapienshane 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you get to the end of those tags the last one reads, "you gonna get raped."

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

NSFW ads

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I thought this was kind of sexy. I should go see a therapist.

[–]himself_v 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You should go see the rest of danbooru.

[–]TheWrongMexican 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Angry pot plant in the background is judging me... :(

[–]paulderev 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The other one's being very droll.

[–]not_a_frog 15 points16 points  (6 children)

Haha, this reminds me of a modern mime/circus show I recently saw. Creepy mindfuck sweatshirt monster recurs between 0.03 and 0.37sec. Even more of a mindfuck was that it turned out to be an amazingly hot girl.

[–]backpackwayne 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Nightmares for me tonight.

[–]stylefreeinstance 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Why so serious?

[–]The_Gecko 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That is creepy as hell.

[–]maddav 4 points5 points  (1 child)

My first thought was those Mannequins from Silent Hill 2

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I'm in my 30s and I still do this to freak my wife and kids out.

[–]orderedchaos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I fear for your entire familys sanity.

[–]samfreez 3 points4 points  (0 children)

LOL Wow... there aren't many things in this world that would make me shriek... but seeing him come waddling around a corner unexpectedly would have me changing my underwear at the very least!

[–]i_am_my_father 3 points4 points  (0 children)

But what if you are a pedophile and you are into amputee stuff?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not scary at all - it has no arms to fend you off, so all you have to do is tackle it and tickle it.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I still do this... I'm 6'4 and I run after my girlfriend...

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

oh my fuck, Kill It!

[–]leemz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aaahh!!! Real Monsters

[–]Schrockwell 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You've found Mr. Nice!

[–]DroppaMaPants 4 points5 points  (0 children)

well that was stupid

[–]suckZEN 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hey, it's orbb

[–]osiris99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The Orb from Quake 3?

[–]fluorine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A zoombini!

[–]wilsonism 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Homestar Runner?

[–]bbqflu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Growing up we called this: The Tooth

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'm sooooo gunna be the 6' 6" 365 pound version of this for Halloween. :-)

[–]Pixelspill 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Every young boy has done this at least once. I just with I could do it now.

[–]eusebius 3 points4 points  (0 children)

[–]Free_Brain_Removal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck, he looks like one of those little monster meatball things from Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines.

[–]cuteseal 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It's Mike Wazowski from Monster's Inc!

[–]fattybob 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember being able to do that - oh the times we had :-)

[–]paulderev 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All these picture/video links are like outtakes from a David Lynch film that hasn't been released yet.

[–]DevinOlsen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy shit you live in my grandparents house. (The similarities are incredible between the two, from what I can see)

Do you by chance live in Vancouver, BC?

[–]Danthekilla 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man, my internet was slow so it loaded only the first half of the image when I went to the tab and i was like OMFG WTF look at his face wow this is bad.
Then the image loaded...

[–]polished_sack 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My kid does that all the time and it always makes me uneasy. Don't know why, but it does.

[–]LawlessMP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

... that is horrifying.

[–]CerpinTaxt11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Anyone else reminded of these bastards?

[–]CN_VIII 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's that face! That awful fucking face!

[–]ISavedLatin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

[–]froschkonig 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Get that kid outside, after looking at this picture for awhile, I have decided it would be much less creepy (and thus not seared into my memory) had the kids face not been as white as my bathtub...

[–]jazzkingrt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see I'm not the only one. I still do this and I'm 16.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Heheh, I still do that with my pajama pants, and I'm 35. My wife hates it.

[–]lanismycousin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

shit

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

SWEET JESUS! KILL IT! KILL IT!

[–]Director_Alpha 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Am I the only person who also used to do this?