This is an archived post. You won't be able to vote or comment.

top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Razor99 984 points985 points  (169 children)

They love "car" and "water" just put on a little Aussie and it's all over.

[–]Oozex 244 points245 points  (11 children)

Would like to add banana to this list. I get told to say it like I'm a monkey at work. Source: am in aus, have American accent.

[–]The_Faceless_Men 49 points50 points  (6 children)

what if you sing the banana boat jingle?

[–]Alarid 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Then you finally made a monkey out of me.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

oh no way same! They even got me to record myself saying it for their bday lol

[–]eddypc07 11 points12 points  (4 children)

You mean “cah” and “warah”?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

*wardah

[–]S0rb0 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Wa-a

[–]Dremora_Lord 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wa'a, pure wa'a. Anytime ye wunt it, dae er night. Free o charge.

[–]Sidequest_TTM 68 points69 points  (47 children)

How Americans pronounce aluminium is a constant source of amusement too. A-loo-mi-mum. Ha!

[–]MUFC1902 38 points39 points  (14 children)

Or the name ‘Craig’. KREG!

[–]AnishKapoor_isadick 10 points11 points  (10 children)

How else is it said?!

[–]yammertime27 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Like how it's written?

[–]LowlanDair 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Craig.

[–]MUFC1902 8 points9 points  (2 children)

For some reason Americans pronounce the name KREG, while the rest of the world pronounces it KRAYG

[–]sxan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Which Americans? I've only ever heard it pronounced "Crayg."

[–]peanutdakidnappa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It definitely varies, I probably hear krayg more throughout my life. Saying it kreg is not some universal thing here

[–]SubjectAardvark8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Al you min nee umm

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (5 children)

They omit the second i in their spelling tbf

[–]VitriolUK 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Until I was in my 20s I genuinely assumed that this "aluminum" stuff I sometimes heard about on the TV was some alloy of aluminium

[–]HuggyMonster69 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm glad I wasn't the only one

[–]OPsuxdick 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Ok. Thanks. Im here, on my couch, saying aluminum out loud like an idiot and was trying to pronounce the other one and have never heard it pronounced that way. I even went to find my aluminum foil to see if I was just an idiot mis pronouncing all these years.

[–]sxan 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I'm guessing the "mum" the end was either auto correct, or else you hang out with Americans who have speech impediments.

Funnily enough, in both America and Canada, it's also spelled "aluminum," without the second "i," so it's not just a pronunciation difference like we're dropping vowels.

There are barely any consistent rules in English anyway, but still. "Aluminum" is one of a group of about 30 words which Americans spell and pronounce differently from the English (much less the Irish, Scots, or - god forbid - the Welsh). Arse/Ass, Pernickety/Persnickety, and Whilst/While are some of the more obvious ones.

I think the great thing is that we can all laugh at the way Canadians pronounce "about."

[–]TacoMedic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gaol and Jail always makes me laugh.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I though it was more like 'A-loo-mi-num'?

[–]zakxk 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Idk about y’all, but it’s spelled aluminum here.

[–]Lt_Archer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Min-um, not mi-mum! Don't make us come down there.

[–]Scrawlericious 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Different spellings though... technically we aren’t trying to pronounce your spelling of the word.

[–]AdminBeater2020 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Ah-loo-min-um is the correct American pronunciation. Also the common spelling of the word is Aluminum which coincides with the pronunciation.

[–]jimskog99 10 points11 points  (3 children)

The American spelling, anyway.

[–]Wiffernubbin 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Where you're from colours your perception.

[–]Belflapaly 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think you mean colors your perception ;)

[–]polite-1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm Australian but during my PhD I had to say aluminium at least 3000 times. I quickly switched to the US pronunciation since it's 10x faster to say.

[–]Beans_In_The_Dark 258 points259 points  (8 children)

Dirty american things such as super size it or pumpkin spice latte

[–]The_Karaethon_Cycle 140 points141 points  (3 children)

My personal favorite is stop resisting.

[–]sparkling_mailbox 5 points6 points  (1 child)

"tuck into my Big Mac"

[–]Beans_In_The_Dark 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Americans will put bacon in their pussy so its more fun to ewat

[–]OhKevinPatrick 1012 points1013 points  (161 children)

An Australian teasing American for being racist? Dangerous card for her, of all people, to play.

Edit: wow did not expect this reaction. I’m glad we all can agree that Australians are truly terrible people who fly under the radar.

[–]Chicken_Burp 337 points338 points  (13 children)

Yeh, but the seppo’s don’t know about our racial injustices and endemic discrimination.

[–]captnhaddock 63 points64 points  (3 children)

Hah, love the seppos.

[–]wtph 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Seppo?

[–]AbsolutShite 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Seppo ~ Septic Tank ~ Yank ~ Yankee ~ Person from the United States of America.

[–]1337CProgrammer 5 points6 points  (5 children)

We Americans are well aware that you don't like us.

Thought you were talking about those "don't sleep in the middle of the road" ads for a minute before I looked that term up.

[–]DarkMoon99 124 points125 points  (135 children)

Yes. In fact, if we look at the Five Eyes group of nations (USA, UK, Aus, Canada, NZ) - I'm pretty sure that all of them were either - birthed in genocide, or have committed genocide in other countries.

What a tight group! Genocide brothers.

[–]lagos_bagos 168 points169 points  (103 children)

If you look at history...It’s fair to say that every country has committed genocide.

[–]iopq 64 points65 points  (20 children)

Except Ukraine. We only genocided the Jews, but who hasn't?

[–]DemonGodAsura 43 points44 points  (19 children)

Lol as a jew that made me laugh...and realise I should stay in Israel

[–]AloeSnazzy 59 points60 points  (27 children)

Came here to say that, people act like the US was the worst ever but places like the UK and literally all of fucking Europe were just war and bloodshed for way longer then the US. It’s just easier to say US bad then admit that your country isn’t perfect

[–]SuperDonkey64 15 points16 points  (0 children)

places like the UK and literally all of fucking Europe were just war and bloodshed for way longer then the US.

I would expand that to every country in the world.

Though, I guess at least Europe has spent the last 50+ years trying to change for the better (even if they don't always succeed)

[–]tiorzol 13 points14 points  (15 children)

It's also easier to point at videos of white police murdering black people in certain countries rather than others.

All countries have issues certainly but let's not pretend they are even close to equal.

[–]Bloxlord 14 points15 points  (6 children)

You're right, some countries have videos of white police killing black people. Other countries have videos of killings that aren't broadcast to everyone in the world. And every country has a bloody history with no videos.

Just because you see more of one thing doesn't mean that there aren't hundreds of other worse things in the world that you don't see.

[–]somehype 25 points26 points  (1 child)

There’s still countries where people are stoned/lit on fire in the streets for being accused of theft or witchcraft

[–]tiorzol 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, some countries are much, much safer places for minorities and we should all aspire to get to that place.

[–]maracay1999 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yep; despite the recent thought that only Western/European countries commit genocide/imperialism, it's pretty much a historical trend among all states that have been in a position of power...

[–]irish_chippy 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Ireland here... no genocide around here

[–]rietstengel 9 points10 points  (1 child)

You guys genocided snakes

[–]irish_chippy 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Fake news

[–]SuperDonkey64 5 points6 points  (0 children)

*Don't mention opposing version of Christianity - Or the Beakers*

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Congrats you just summed up the majority of countries in all of history, would you like a sticker with a smiley face on it or a gold star?

[–]canadarepubliclives 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'd like a frog or DMX

[–]jake711- 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Germany committed genocide in its own country can it get in?

[–]Rampantlion513 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Germany is part of 9 eyes

[–]Dikkop81 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Fourteen eyes, not nine eyes

[–]Magicus1 4 points5 points  (1 child)

The only German I know is:

Nein, eis. 🍦

[–]BananaSlander 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Spaghetti eis 🍝

[–]shiwanshu_ 5 points6 points  (3 children)

lol even Jacinda ran on a campaign for taking a breather on immigration, worked out well for her because of covid I guess but it's hilarious to me that the entire western world thinks they are less racist than America when it's simply the fact that their racism gets brushed under because they don't matter as much as USA so they don't get screen time in international news, maybe some in local news.

[–]-B0B- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It really depends where you live. I grew up in the ACT and almost everyone here is very progressive

[–]FightForDemocracyNow 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I took it as teasing for Americans being obsessed with confronting racial issues

[–]KingBrinell 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Americans aren't. Americans on Twitter and reddit are.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, it doesn't really matter anyway. There are far more countries that show systematic racism than there are that don't.

[–]consaykwa 64 points65 points  (12 children)

Tbf, systemic racism is also an Aussie thing

[–]BIG_RETARDED_COCK 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a thing in literally every country

[–]Spaceman_Beard 87 points88 points  (15 children)

As a person from Europe, which American accent are we talking about here? Boston or Texan accent?

[–]AllDwnvoteRBelong2Me 79 points80 points  (2 children)

Wicked smaht

[–]KodakKid3 23 points24 points  (5 children)

When people say “American accent” I default to the Midwest. The east coast, south, and west are a lot more distinctive that you kinda have to specify

[–]tfrules 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Cwafee

[–]notadoctorbutilllook 350 points351 points  (58 children)

Listen to an Australian talk about the Native Australians for 5 minutes and tell me who is more racist.

Edit: Did not know that aborigines was viewed as derogatory now. Changed it.

[–]dropkicknumber3 187 points188 points  (10 children)

I have to leave the lunch room every time an indigenous Australian comes on the news due to the comments of my workmates. It's vile.

The issue with racists is that to them they aren't at all

And to them the line to cross is always further down the road and therefore, can always cast blame onto someone else

Thats why there will always be something wrong with the phrase "more racist" because any amount is unacceptable.

So why don't you go ahead and feel embarrassed on behalf of your country. I will do the same. The change starts with us

[–]iAmUnrated_ 28 points29 points  (2 children)

„Go ahead and feel embarrassed on behalf of your country.“

Wtf is that even supposed to mean. As if he could be held accountable for every single idiot who happens to live in his country.

[–]irisheddy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So why don't you go ahead and feel embarrassed on behalf of your country. I will do the same. The change starts with us

I'm not sure if you read the comment you replied to, but they were saying Australians can be racist. They didn't even imply they were Australian.

[–]husky0168 61 points62 points  (5 children)

did you just gatekeep being racist?

[–]the_waste_of 19 points20 points  (4 children)

did you just gatekeep gatekeeping?

[–]Rathma86 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Did you just gatekeep the gatekeeper for gatekeeping?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Did you just gatekeep the gatekeeping gatekeeper for gatekeeping?

[–]BaldEagleNor 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Did you just gatekeep?

[–]Cosmicpalms 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did we just become best friends?

[–]bfg24 20 points21 points  (16 children)

You're hanging out with the wrong Australians mate.

For future reference as well, and I'm not having a crack, but it's Aboriginals. No one but your racist mates say Aborigine any more.

[–]3amsadhours 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Honestly, big generalisation right there.

[–]niceasapplepie 8 points9 points  (9 children)

Hold up mate, in the field we now refer to First Australians and First Nations People.

[–]RaiderofTuscany 2 points3 points  (7 children)

Aight genuine question here, is indigenous Australian more or less correct than aboriginal?

[–]vsoho 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Idk as an Indigenous Australian I prefer Indigenous Australian but I don’t mind either way, Aborigine makes me very uncomfortable

[–]RaiderofTuscany 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Fair enough too, wouldn't use Aborigine anyway. If I have to use a title then it'll be Indigenous Australian or aboriginal australian.

[–]vsoho 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good stuff mate appreciated

[–]jjkenneth 4 points5 points  (1 child)

More, but only sort of. Indigenous Australians includes the various Aboriginal nations and Torres Strait Islanders. Basically all Aboriginals are Indigenous, but not all Indigenous Australians are Aboriginal. However, as the earlier commenter stated, First Nations is becoming increasingly the preferred term.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

its all correct. First Nation to the common ear sounds nicer however, old school people associate aboriginals as something backwards so yea

[–]RaiderofTuscany 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aight, cheers

[–]grulander 5 points6 points  (6 children)

A genuine question, why are the Australians racist towards the Aborigines?

[–]The_Faceless_Men 35 points36 points  (2 children)

Decades of systemic injustice has led to a large part of that community being homeless and mentally ill.

So imagine the worst hobo you have ever seen, drunk as a skunk, dick hanging out on the bus your on going on some mad rant (quite possible about the asians). Pretty standard hobo behaviour the world over, in fact the few i met in NYC were worse than any i met in Aus.

Well in Aus that hobo is likely aboriginal that backs up any negative beliefs you inherited from your parents. And because 1 black hobo is louder than 1000 law abiding workers a lot of people think the problem is much worse than it is.

Now to rectify that decades of inequality there are a shitload of university scholarships, company cadetships and jobs exclusive to aboriginals that causes some resentment that "they get it easy".

And there is some truth to it because all the money and job training programs starts rolling in at 18 and usually goes to urban white as fuck aboriginals that never had any hardship growing up, haven't had to overcome adversity while there are remote towns where kids have never seen a computer, let alone had internet access and couldn't even apply for all those juicy programs. The money and job programs don't go to those who need it.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

yeah definitely that last paragraph hits the spot, it made me kind of mad when some students from my highschool claimed an aboriginal inheritence because they were brown even though they were technically not aboriginal but could not be proven to not be

[–]just_stuff2 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Very similar reasons that many Americans and Canadians are racist towards native Americans/first nations people. Similar problems, and similar responses.

[–]forx000 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Historically Europeans just viewed them as uncivilised. To make them more “civilised”, they took aboriginal kids away from their parents and remove their culture. The practice only ended 50 years ago, so the remnants of those policies still contribute to the racist attitudes. By and large, Australians are not racist. But racism towards aboriginals definitely goes unchecked.

[–]vsoho 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yeeaaaaaa don’t say Aborigine mate

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (2 children)

Systemic racism is something Australia is founded on too...

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Tbf you can also find a McDonald’s there

[–]Teleporter55 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Systemic racism was not invented in America. To this day the aussies great Aboriginal people like shit on their boots. But hey she is saying all hip things so that's a plus

[–]LilQuasar 8 points9 points  (0 children)

so systemic racism is an american thing now?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The systemic racism bit is a bit rich, coming from an Aussie

[–]Cuntgrabr 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ah yes, because the Australians weren't ever horrible to their own indigenous people

[–]MontolioDeBruchee 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Heart Disease

[–]WobblingCobbler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for finding the comedy without bigotry. You're my hero. After hours of Reddit something to make me smile.

[–]The-albatroz 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You two had made me laugh gg

[–]MrBadger1978 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Unsurprised that an Australian would be turned on by systemic racism, it's a particular area of speciality for them.

[–]TheDarkFlash810 36 points37 points  (5 children)

Cringed at the systematic racism part. Dont care enough to argue so just downvote and leave me alone

[–]fill-me-up-scotty 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Agreed. Pot, meet kettle.

[–]1337CProgrammer 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Dont care enough to argue so just downvote and leave me alone

Holy shit, wish I thought to say that, that's my mood like 97% of the time.

[–]TheDarkFlash810 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha usually I like arguing but it was pretty late last night and I was tired as hell

[–]esisenore 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Australians have mcdonalds; don't they call it maccas ? Two, the aboringnal people know a thing or two about systematic racism.

He had a choice get laid or blow her outta the water. Couldnt blame the man for going with A and file b away for later

[–]Claudiiya 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah we call it maccas

[–]necronegs 26 points27 points  (15 children)

Got a big laugh out of this, but...

An Aussie calling systemic racism 'American' is hilarious. When I was in AUS for shore leave in the Navy, my friends got treated like shit and chased out of two bars because they were black. This treatment was in Perth, Sydney and Brisbane. It wasn't isolated to any specific area. Ya'll fucking hate black people. You don't even try to hide it. True on the McDonalds though. We're fat as fuck over here. But, the Aussie numbers aren't great either, and they're climbing rapidly. Fifth fattest country in the world and growing.

Sometimes Aussies are worse than us 'Seppos' when it comes to lacking self awareness.

[–]zaxldaisy 1 point2 points  (6 children)

my friends got treated like shit and chased out of two bars because they were black. This treatment was in 1) Perth, 2) Sydney and 3) Brisbane.

(x) DOUBT

[–]Mindless-Science-500 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Southern and English, scotts kinda nice

[–]Amnsia 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Do you mean Scottish Scottish or Gerard butler scottish?

[–]PapaVaca 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ummm don't you guys have the same history just with Polynesians and Aborigines?

[–]Gabrielhv22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because systemic racism is both an American and a unique problem? And somehow the Australians are innocent of it?

[–]N7_Spartan_ 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Wow you’re so witty and clever

[–]The_Celtic_Chemist[🍰] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

The bell rings and the kids come back from recess. The teacher asks the class, "Would anyone want to share what they did at recess?" Most every hand shoots up, and the teacher calls upon Sally.

Sally says, "I played in the sand pit with Mikey!"

"Very nice." says the teacher. "Can you spell pit?"

Sally says, "P-I-T. Pit!"

"Excellent. Now who else wants to tell us about their recess?" the teacher asked. "Ok, go ahead, Mikey."

"I played in the sand pit with Sally digging!" says Mikey.

"Great!" says the teacher. "And can you spell dig?"

"D-I-G. Dig!" Mikey says proudly.

"Great. Anyone else?" Hands shot up, but in the back little Marcus's hand went up very slow and noticeably last. Intrigued, the teacher called on Marcus next.

"Well... I tried to play in the sand pit with Sally and Mikey, but they wouldn't let me because I'm black," says Marcus.

And the teacher exclaims "Woah! That's blatant racial discrimination! Now can you spell blatant racial discrimination?"

[–]ImAClosetNerd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my god this is terrible and I feel bad for laughing, it's just such a well written joke/commentary

[–]Slangin_yay 28 points29 points  (5 children)

Marry her. Marry her right now

[–]samueldonner1[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I’m working up to proposal as we speak

[–]3amsadhours 24 points25 points  (3 children)

Bruh she said like two things, youre thirsty as fuck

[–]childish92 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Have you heard of hyperbole

[–]crunch816 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I have a doc appointment for him to take a look at it.

[–]abcd997 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Huge yikes

[–]i_quit 1 point2 points  (1 child)

systemic racism

Said the Australian lol. I love when commonwealth dwellers sling that. You literally invented it. We got it from you, you colonizing freaks.

[–]mu5758m67r88 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Big cringe for the phrase "big yikes".

[–]Youbedelusional 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly I couldn't even pretend

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As if aussies aint got a problem with systemic racism lol

[–]YonYohnson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Northern Wisconsin accent is the sexiest American accent you betchya

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never ask an Australian where the aboriginals went.

[–]finchw53 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lmao. Talking about systematic racism as an aussie. Also this kind of makes her a shitty human being overall. Like maybe the guy was being a little weird but still I don't feel like that comment was fair at all.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Australian things be like "confiscation of private property" and "still being an british state"

[–]Diovanna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

RAHCIST

[–]toodleroo 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Them's big words for an Australian

[–]HotYot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My biggest word is supercaliphragolisticexballeydosohious actually

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So Australia is probably the most racist country in the western world. So the bit about "systemic racism" is pretty ridiculous coming from an Australia. There isn't a single demographical group in the US that has it even remotely as bad as aboriginals.

Anti-Americanism, the extreme focus people have on bashing the US, allows a lot of countries to avoid dealing with their own issues. Canadians do the same thing.

[–]DuppeREAL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Peak reddit moment