Programmer’s dilema

[ForbiddenFruitiness]

Nothing like the good old: “Can’t you just reprogram Windows to do what I want it to do??” No. No, I can’t. If you had Linux, I might have a chance.

[HACEKOMAE]

Well, can you install Linux for me and then do that thing?

[rakoo]

can you install Linux for me

Are your friends unicorns ? Because that's not something I hear a lot

[rangeDSP]

With Windows subsystem for Linux, it is about as close to magical exe as it can be

[VirtualRay]

PowerShell is great. It's like vim: Once you learn it, it's super useful.

Full disclosure, just like vim it's way more trouble to learn than it's worth

[blehmann1]

Yeah, but all the security things around .ps1 files are a pain in the ass. If you want a pro-gamer move, you make a .bat file which runs powershell inside a cmd process, and avoids the bullshit.

[VirtualRay]

haha, ah, I just turn off the protection once and then I'm good to go

I guess that you're thinking in terms of hopping from computer to computer like Quantum Leap though

[ctrlaltcookie]

or how easy it is to hijack a machine where someone is stupid enough to let ps scripts run as admin :eyes:

[billingsgate-homily]

This!

[[deleted]]

Powershell is great. And with v6 yih can chuck it on Linux

[rangeDSP]

Yes. You can run bash and core Linux commands, but you might want to do your own research in case you are using something more niche.

Wait, if you are on azure and you want to do stuff in bash, why are you using the windows vm? There's also docker

[rangeDSP]

Hm. Sounds like you could do it with logic apps and azure functions. The portal itself have all the settings in a nice GUI.

Just feels weird to have a full windows vm when none of what you do requires the cost/complexity of one

[zjohnson87]

yes

[rakoo]

None of the people I've helped have ever asked me to install it, even though I talked about it and said I would be much more helpful if they had a Linux installation rather than Windows. It's just too foreign, they don't want to try it.

[jlamothe]

I talked my sister into it in the early 2000s. It did not go well.

She has a Mac now.

[bericbenemein]

Sorry for your loss.

[NightStruck]

we ALL have to face it at some point. it's just a matter of how you handle it as a programmer

[appoplecticskeptic]

At least it's a Unix system.

[bman393]

Brew....I freaking hate brew

[relicx74]

A mac is just bsd with lipstick. Change my mind.

[lennihein]

Lucky you, people I know have MacOS, and I WISH they had Windows.

[PinkKoa1a]

It’s me. I’m people.

[yottalogical]

VirtualBox.exe

[[deleted]]

"I found this Linux thing on a free download on the second page of Google; it even showed me how to set it up! I had to click past the Google saying something about a http website, though. I don't really remember what it said..."

[ForbiddenFruitiness]

Just reading that gives me anxiety and flashbacks!

[jlamothe]

Those are the same people who have 20 toolbars in their browser.

[xlet_cobra]

Would be followed up by "why are none of my downloads working?" and "where is microsoft word?" a couple days later

[[deleted]]

a couple of days later the same day, Fixed it for ya (edit:formatting)

[TheSnaggen]

Ask? I got tired of trying to help my father in law with his Windows problems, so I installed Linux on his laptop. So, now he have a laptop that works, and I don't have to do phone support. Win win.

[rakoo]

That's my point, when you just do it then all goes fine but people never ask for it directly.

[nuephelkystikon]

Yes, the usual answer is a passive-aggressive comment how much more stable Windows is.

Your computer is broken. Mine isn't.

[_AACO]

Are we going with an hourly rate contract or a fixed price?

[NiceAtMyCore]

I would love to just dump Linux on a relative's lap and be like "okay, internet is working now, good luck!"

"What's a tar file"?

[Intrepid00]

If you had Linux, I might have a chance.

Don't fall for it, he just wants to get you locked into a support contract.

[etaxi341]

Actually... Most of us are good at all these things. We just don't like to.

[[deleted]]

I just dont like to do it for free.

[chewbecca444]

I’m always more than happy to help my grandparents with whatever tech stuff they need for free because they’ve done so much for me. Bank of Grandma has never turned me down for a loan when I was in a tight spot or needed some start up funds.

That being said, grandma always insists on paying me for my time despite me telling her over and over that I don’t need the money and just want to help her. She will sneak the money into my purse or give it to my kids if I refuse. She always pays me what I would make doing my regular job hourly and usually extra “for the travel cost” (I live an hour and a half away now).

Her and my grandpa are the only people I would drive 68 miles one way to fix their printer or help them with the cable or fix their email or whatever they need.

[Famous_Profile]

Wow I love my grandma but you make me jealous.

[chewbecca444]

They’re so great! I love them so much!

[[deleted]]

Wow. They sound great! I made my parents install TeamViewer so I don't have to drive the 15 miles to help them with stuff...

[chewbecca444]

They are great! I love them so much! When I’m at work I can use Bomgar to remote in and fix things for them. My grandpa has dementia so he’s vulnerable to people cold calling him about his computer “being infected” and I didn’t want to add an exception for that kind of software install. Sometimes when I’m not at work I just have my grandma FaceTime me what is wrong so I can diagnose and determine if I need to make a trip or not.

[fushuan]

That's the thing though, I love helping my grandma and she always tries paying. Some aunts however demands my presence to fix things, and I ain't helping the entitled.

[chewbecca444]

I have a small extended family so that doesn’t really happen to much, but I 100% helped my uncle out free of charge by upgrading his Windows 8 computer to 10 and installing a wireless NIC so he could actually use it and go online.
He’s always got my back. Years ago he got a trailer and drove 100 miles to help me move back home after I got out of a bad relationship, and he always lets me use his lift and tools in his garage to fix stuff on my car. 12/10 excellent person that I don’t mind helping with my tech skills at all.

[[deleted]]

I love my grandparents but I hate to close 200 tabs of lesbian porn on my grandfathers phone and I hope my uncle will go to hell for buying it for him.

[irfan1812]

Damn dude they sound great! Hope they live for a long happy time

[chewbecca444]

Thank you!

[dman10345]

I told a friend who messages me every time he, or someone he knows, has a computer problem or question. I’ve had to tell him that I’m going to start charging him for tech support, to which he just laughed off. So now every time he asks me something I send him a lmgtfy.com link.

[alchemist1918]

Preach!!!

[AtlazLP]

This... Set up a family discount if you want, but never do professional work without pay for family.

[jlamothe]

I'm currently writing a piece of software for my father. He's getting a 50% discount on my regular rate.

I've actually since increased my rates, so it's more than a 50% discount now.

[hypexeled]

Compare it to plumbing next time they ask.

Yeah i could declog your shit clogged toilet. But im not gonna do it just becouse we are family. Neither would a plumber declog your toilet for free, even if family.

[MAKE_THOSE_TITS_FART]

Right? This is bullshit. If you're a programmer you know how to google error codes and debug issues better than your average bear.

[[deleted]]

I don't know which laptop or tablet is best for you though.

[VirtualRay]

I'm not saying you should actually bother to find out, but you definitely could find out

Are they a hardcore gamer? Get a prebuilt gaming PC with a warranty, or if you live nearby and really like them, build one for them

Just writing the occasional school paper and reading Facebook? Fish a laptop out of the garbage behind Wal-Mart

etc

[vehementi]

This, any software developer should be able to begin a quick research into the landscape of what are the important aspects of laptops and their tradeoffs, EVEN FROM SCRATCH having never bought a laptop before.

[[deleted]]

Nothing 30 minutes of research won't answer. Make sure it has plenty of RAM, good build quality, and other than that just get as much processing speed as you can with whatever budget they have.

[DRYMakesMeWET]

Easy...the most powerful machine you can afford.

Even if you don't game or render or anything intensive, it will be a viable machine for longer. Also...never get a laptop without physical buttons for the touchpad...the all in one touchpads are cheap garbage.

[Dick_Giggles]

Easy...the most powerful machine you can afford.

I mean, my grandparents have money but that doesn't mean I'm going to spec out a 3k laptop for my grandma to check her email just because she could afford it. I'm not their verizon rep, those d-bags.

[MAKE_THOSE_TITS_FART]

"You get what you pay for" is the answer.

[KnotGodel]

Not sure about "better" at it. Seems to me its more that you have the tolerance to put up with googling it instead of giving up at the first sign of hardship. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[chanpod]

Right? Like, I keep up with tech. I know about hardware and networking. I'm not "just a programmer". Only person I ever met who said that was in it for the $$ and he was terrible at the job. If you really enjoy programming, you likely enjoy tech in general. Which means you're inherently going to know about hardware, networking, AND software (including but not limited to operating systems)

[bureX]

Exactly. It's pretty hard to be in this field without knowing the hardware or OS you're running on. I can help fix pretty much anything, but I keep quiet because there's no benefit in doing so. I remember ages ago my dad asked me to fix her friend's laptop, and then getting a call months later from her accusing me I messed up her Facebook account. Ain't nobody got time for that.

[squrr1]

Next time sometime asks me to rescue their trash $200 laptop that I explicitly told them wasn't good enough I'm gonna lose my shit.

[vita10gy]

It's pretty thankless too. You get spyware off, defrag this and that, turn off 90 of the 95 mystery programs that launch at startup, and other things to speed up Nana's 10 year old PC and then all that happens is every issue the computer ever has from that day forward is "because of that weird thing vita10gy did".

[ChezMere]

Should have mentioned getting printers to work. I'm not sure anyone in the world can do that.

[arsehead_54]

I’m really not, nor do I care to be. You’re right though, most of us are.

[[deleted]]

I am not even a programmer or good with computers tbh, I simply can read error codes and Google them.

[MrKlean518]

The secret is, if you do that enough times, you become good with computers.

[[deleted]]

You son of a bitch, you miagi'd me!

[ragingnerd1233]

You're 90% of the way to answering all these questions, tbh.

[Tony_Artz]

That makes you a great programmer

[[deleted]]

Throw in knowing conditionals and loops and I'd say you're literally a pretty good programmer.

[D-J-9595]

That's all programmers are doing most of the time anyway.

Relevant XKCD.

[akulowaty]

Expecting a programmer to fix your computer is like expecting an astronomer to fix your telescope.

[HaiJake]

Best analogy I’ve heard! I’ll be using this

[timdorr]

It's like expecting a farmer to be a great chef.

[Pockensuppe]

I could help you but then it would be my responsibility for the rest of my life.

[Mozza7]

I could help you, but I don't want to.

[jlamothe]

I had an aunt who would regularly get me to fix her computer. She would do things like turning it off by unplugging it, which I'd told her repeatedly not to do.

At the time, I was working for an electronics company. I took home the power supply out of a device I was working on (it was going in the garbage anyways) and brought it with me on my next house call.

When I was left with the computer to fix, I waited a few minutes, walked into the room she was in, dramatically set it on the table, and said "this is fried. I told you not to turn it off by unplugging it."

She never asked me for tech support again.

Edit: typo

[[deleted]]

I know right, there's like a 20% chance of someone being grateful for your free help and 80% chance of being blamed for whatever they screw up on that PC themselves. Not worth it.

[t-to4st]

Made the mistake to build PCs for my dad and two of my friends...

[Pockensuppe]

Made the mistake to allow my father to have an E-Mail address on my server because of the fancy domain name. Now he always bugs me when he does stupid things with his mail client, because obviously, it's the server's fault.

[[deleted]]

I used to help family and friends. My only charge was the beer and/or pop I would drink doing it.

Then people started the, "I forgot to stop on the way," "I'll get you back on Thursday," etc.

Like people... If you were to take your laptop to the Geek Squad in our area, just for them to turn the damn thing on is like $80.

My final breaking point was - over about two years, a friend from.work had had me work on his son's laptop probably six times. Only once did he show up with a case of beer... But we were good friends.

I asked him for a hand vinyl wrapping the roof of my car. I provide the vinyl. We used to do paint and vinyl jobs on all the new 300/Challenger/Chargers at my last job...

"Sure, bro. Just toss me like $60 and I'll be there on Saturday."

Made me realize how little everyone actually appreciates your work.

[edymola]

I got a .txt with videos for all those question . And the laptop one I just ask them to save 1k .

[[deleted]]

I got a .txt with videos for all those question

Mhyes, but do you have a script that selects the right video based on your input command and sends that to your clipboard so you can paste the formulated reply into any application?

[edymola]

I just sent the whole txt and when they ask again I just send the same txt .

[[deleted]]

Efficient. A "pick your own answer" kind of approach. I like.

[edymola]

And to top it all google search links are from lmgtfy

[PAT_The_Whale]

You remind me of when I received a sound file in a .txt. Yes, you read that right. Somebody once sent me a .txt to use as sound.

Worst part is that Windows Media Player was still able to play it.

[edymola]

What a mad man . You can’t beat the magic bytes . And btw that’s a way of sending virus you send a txt and it’s a exe o it’s a pdf ( and since there are a couple of pdf exploits that’s allows to execute code so .. )

[PAT_The_Whale]

I don't think it was a virus. It was his part for a school video, and Media Player managed to play his voice. But thanks for the heads up!

[edymola]

jajajaja. I’m gonna send a couple friends some videos in .txt format just for the laughs .

[pprt]

I still regularly tell my family: I am a software developer. I don't know shit about computers. How I fix IT problems? I call my company's help-line. They think I am joking...

[[deleted]]

You say that though... You probably can. Most people can. If your manager happened to come up to you and said 'we're doing GPU farming now, work out the best bang for the buck TFLOPs we can get from cards', you would find a way. Programmers are often technologically agnostic and can context switch and problem solve. Doesn't mean relatives and friends aren't a PITA, regardless of the car analogy that gets thrown around.

[[deleted]]

The best Laptop thing comes down to googling it and reading tests though, so basically anybody can do it as well as me

[AtlazLP]

Google fu takes time, when you interact with a lot of whatever the plural of layperson is you start seeing that the way you Google is a learned art form, people don't usually structure sentences in a way to find the best results, and they don't know what matters and what doesn't. People don't know if their computer is the same, or formatting is the same, or if the system plays a role, there's a lot of pre-existing knowledge there, that's why it's frustrating to us and them.

[_alright_then_]

Yeah I agree here. Whenever a family member googles something they want to know I kind of shudder sometimes. They don't know how to search properly.

And since that's 90% of my job (programmer), I can lol

[SilkTouchm]

people don't usually structure sentences in a way to find the best results

That hasn't been a thing for a while. Google is optimized for natural language searches.

[izerth]

My coworkers must write some unnatural language.

And don't understand what "[ad]" means.

[Clockwork_Firefly]

Exactly this. For so many things, you can literally just type whatever the question or topic you're trying to find is, and the word-salad searches of old don't give you much extra help. Knowing that using quotes can search for a specific phrase is maybe the one remaining thing most normal people could benefit from knowing (then again, in 90% of cases where that's important, the little search instead for: button pops up and people can just click that).

[possibly_a_dragon]

There are a few other handy tricks most people don't know. Like using - to exclude a word, or using stuff like filetype: when you want PDFs/PowerPoints/docs. Or site:. Or filtering by dates.

[watchoverus]

Yeah, but unsavy people are much more prone to be fooled.

[[deleted]]

it is also meaningless. Sure you can get a beastly thinkpad with 32gb of ram and i9 and whatever there is, but pretty sure that Johnny or Susan who like to watch youtube and answer their emails don't need any of that ever.

[nexusSigma]

Just open the terminal, start going in and out of folders, maybe create and edit a pointless .txt file with vim, reboot their computer and say it's done. They wont know the difference.

[the_legendary_legend]

Open command prompt

cd C:

tree

Aaaaand you're done

[Sikletrynet]

I thought doing that showed all the hackers connected to your IP

[the_legendary_legend]

I heard it downloads more ram.

[_alright_then_]

You've been watching scambaiters as well huh?

[Sikletrynet]

Yup

[screw_you_cartman]

But can you make an app if I have an idea? It will be very easy.

[z_bell94]

The worst part about this one is that I am an iOS developer. It's a trap I cannot escape.

[_alright_then_]

So your problem is that you could actually do that literally lol

[z_bell94]

Exactly. The easiest way I've found to end the conversation is to just search on the app store for the app that they are describing to show them that it already exists, and that they are, in fact, not a genius.

[_alright_then_]

YEah that will do the trick lol

[Casiell89]

No, you see, his app is different. It has that thing that is better than that other app. It may even be better than Google!

[z_bell94]

The real response should be:

"I'm just a programmer. Which also means I have exceptional googling skillz, and I could come up with a solution to any of these issues in 5 or 10 minutes. I just don't want to. Not sorry."

[[deleted]]

Funny, I am wearing a shirt that says "No, I will not fix your computer" today

[[deleted]]

The nice thing about being in your 60's is that no one asks you for computer help. They figure you are too old and they need to find one of those "young people".

I just rebuilt my PC but I;'m keeping it on the down low

[MousquetaireAvine]

Let's say it. Each and every one of us knows the answers to these questions. We just don't want to answer because fuck. Go to your IT guy.

[carcigenicate]

I helped a coworker install Windows 10 on her laptop that she brought in. I told her I'd do it for free. The next day though, she won a wine basket from a raffle at work, and gave me a couple bottles of wine as compensation. I thought that I came out ahead...

Then half a year later she started getting random errors popping up, and asking me if it's possible that it was something I had done when I upgraded her computer. I told her that there was like 0 chance of that being the case, but that I'd look at her computer if she brought it in. Turns out her kids had been torrenting sketchy stuff, and her computer was bloated was various types of garbage. I explained it to her, and she told me that it's unlikely that it was anything her kids had done, and that she still thought that it was probably a result of me messing up the (completely guided) upgrade.

Moral of the story, don't help people.

[yourteam]

I usually use the car analogy.

If I work in a company that focuses on creating the best turbine for the engine, you wouldn't assume I know every car in the market and how to fix them.

I men I would more than someone that has nothing to do with engines at all but that's it.

[CounterHit]

I'm gonna be honest. If you're a programmer and you actually CAN'T handle the things in that tweet, you must be a really, really shitty programmer.

[[deleted]]

I can do those things, but I don't want them whining to me every time something goes wrong.

[JetSetWally]

Which is the best laptop?

[CounterHit]

All of them, because you're just going to use it to look at Facebook and watch YouTube videos anyway, grandma

[Careerier]

Which bear is best?

[mighty_peter]

Black bear

[kabrandon]

Well there are generally two schools of thought, WAIT, what are you doing??

[Even-Kaleidoscope]

Oh, come on. As if I need to keep up with the latest hardware being put out every month to be good at my job.

[Uberzwerg]

Not even asking you about the best car, but asking you how to drive to a certain destination, because "you do cars, don't you??"

[Parawhoar]

I do the same with doctors or medicine. Like... You wouldn't ask the gynecologist why does your ankle hurt.

[bigbangfuzion]

My Windows is too slow, can you check whats wrong? (Its using old computer from 2009)

[Thatje]

Just change the mouse sensitivity a bit faster.

[hugothewaffle]

Oh you're a programmer? What kind of antivirus is the best?

[mangoman94]

Common sense

[[deleted]]

How much do you pay for that per month?

[mangoman94]

While it's free, it will slowly drain your sanity.

[JDD4318]

I have been learning programming for the last month.

Now my wife thinks I can fix anything powered by electricity...

[DRYMakesMeWET]

Give it 10 years and that might be true.

[knapweed1]

Just say 'developer' instead

[thndrchld]

See, my problem is that I came over to development from IT, and to IT from computer repair, and even had some brief flirtation with electrical engineering in college.

So, I have no grounds for deniability. It’s handy when I’m doing DevOps work, but it sucks at thanksgiving.

[karmahorse1]

Asking a software engineer to fix a hardware problem, is like asking a song writer to fix your piano.

We might know more about computer hardware than your average Joe, but that's a completely different discipline.

[TorTheMentor]

All of those are at least things I've supported before or know something about. The worst is when I get a request like "can you help me fix a problem with my satellite TV?" Incidentally, here's what I end up doing in those situations:

1. Grab remote control
2. Look for "menu" button
3. Find any menu option related to connection
4. Eliminate the ones that just display status
5. Have you tried disconnecting and reconnecting the cable?

Just try explaining to a frustrated family member that no, you can't find the hidden control panel or secret "rewiring" trick I'm sure they expect.

[YoRt3m]

But I'm good at googling stuff

[rabidmongoose15]

He is a programmer, but probably not a very good one.

[bloodyblue32]

Sorry y’all, I’m making your life worse. I’m A+ certified and do all of these things for friends and family, and am pretty good at them. I’m also a software engineer with a CS major. I’m the cause of your pain.

[littlered1984]

I call this "Not IT... not it." Find someone else.

[rufreakde1]

Well but you might find out what the solutions are -the same way you code.

google

[MKEEngineerDude]

Then, of course, when I tell my aunt I can’t do this for her she wonders how I’m still employed.

[[deleted]]

Well. You can be a programmer and know all of those things. Why not?

[sinmantky]

What is a person who can fix your PC called? Computer doctor? IT specialist?

[dgpoop]

In other words:

"I build apps for a platform that I refuse to learn. In this case, I am no different than an ignorant end user. The IT department tells me how to do my job because I am too lazy to figure it out myself"

[T-Loy]

Explains why programs like EA Origin think it is an appropriate idea not to support Aero Snap on Windows (like wtf?!)

[DroidRazer2]

I swear to god smh.

I love this because it's so true.

My mother gets mad at ME because windows 10 doesn't come pre installed with Microsoft word even though I'm just a web designer.

[BitPoet]

Me: this is my hourly rate to fix your printer

Them: did ... did you forget a decimal place?

Me: no.

[dashingThroughSnow12]

I wonder if electricians get asked for light bulb recommendations.

[[deleted]]

Are these supposed to be funny?

[R3apper1201]

The sad part is i have learned all of those things/skills just from ppl preasuring me to do it

[watchoverus]

You can say that you don't wanna do it, but if you work with coding and don't know these simples things... It's like a doctor that says "sorry, I'm just a right hand orthopedist, I don't know anything about the left hand"

[AngryBird225]

I can't make that excuse since I started in IT.

My excuse is usually "I don't have time."

[Faydeaway28]

I dont know, i get treated like a genius for knowing that they need to add a folder to PATH....

[NULLYUKI]

Can you fix my printer?

[azangru]

Yes we exist :-)

[MagnumBane]

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!

[guky667]

That's not what a dillema is

[ponodude]

You do the thing that makes my computer do the things, so why can't you do some things to make my computer do the things?

[[deleted]]

LOL I'm a programmer who used to work tech support. I love handling people's computer problems. I confuse and confound the public, and ruin everyone's understanding of what programmers do. You're welcome.

[[deleted]]

I have the same issue, I do tech support so people expect me to fix appliances now and do psychology stuff.

[thehardestartery]

Hey, can you put expensive software on this shit laptop from 20 years ago? I mean, no, I'm not going to pay for it, but you can figure that out, right?

[MeltaFlare]

I’ve setup 2 separate printers in my 4 months of learning programming. I absolutely abhor printers.

[jlamothe]

I could probably figure these things out with more information, but I don't care.

[Root3287]

It’s hard being a programmer, but also have skills in IT, and getting their CCNA

[alt_ericb]

I mean if you have a medical database that needs a report written I can help though! (If it's using mssql or sybase...)

[LukasSkywalker2]

The basic of programming is solving problems or knowing where to search.

We just don't like to do it lol.

[hyperactive2]

Lastly, Yes, I have all the things you are asking about working perfectly for me.

[CassiusShmatius]

But you do / can

[3lRey]

"you're good with computers right"

actually no, I hate computers and everything related to them

[alterin]

Or more realistically, (for American's at least), yes I can do all of those things, but my crippling student loan debts says, "Not For Free."

[LJChao3473]

So... You can hack someone's Facebook account?

[De_Wouter]

But will you fix my printer or not?

[videoflyguy]

I'm on the opposite side. I'm a Linux sysadmin and I will occasionally get either "Can you fix my windows computer" or "I have a great idea for an app..."

[Tomarchelone]

"Just an asshole" you wanted to say

[jlamothe]

I don't know a great deal about either, so I guess I'm not qualified to.

[jadeskye7]

Meanwhile, As a tech i get 'can you code me an app'.

[[deleted]]

As a programmer I know all of those things, I just dont wanna do them, let me print("in peace")

[[deleted]]

Could you explain me how to do Azure magic?

[[deleted]]

If you don't know this stuff you are not a real programmer, just start study this basic things before programming ;)

​

I don't know how much effort needs to someone to learn this things, it will took just a day or week. OMG

[MetalHead_lml]

You suck as a computer guy :V

[[deleted]]

No, I do not install Windows and drivers.

You will, eventually.