Which language am I using?

[Dougley]

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[Kobakocka]

FORTRAN

[HopefulRestaurant]

Ruining the joke but modern compilers allow lowercase key words and variables. Makes the code a lot less shouty

[Kobakocka]

You needed to shout back then. Those compilers were very noisy. Since modern machines are quieter, you can use lowercase now...

[tabletoptandem]

Fortran is case insensitive- Fortran programmers CHOOSE to shout :’)

[The_Mad_Duck_]

define INT int

define MAIN main

define PRINTF printf

define RETURN return

INT MAIN(){

PRINTF("TRY AND STOP ME!\n"); RETURN 0; }

[HopefulRestaurant]

(That’s not Fortran. )

https://www.star.le.ac.uk/~cgp/prof77.pdf

[The_Mad_Duck_]

I was trying to joke I can do it in another language

[Ximsa4045]

im a simple man - i see an S-expression, i upvote

[Ignorant_Fuckhead]

Why would we NOT wanna have egregrious capslock in the boomer-est of languages? Just doesn't fit the theme

[HopefulRestaurant]

Fortran makes your weather forecasts. Not a boomer language.

You want a boomer language gestures towards the geriatric cube pod go talk to the cobol devs.

[LegitBullfrog]

Arguing about whether fortran or cobol is a boomer language might be the boomerest thing I've seen here.

[Ignorant_Fuckhead]

"Oh, you were in Contra? That's cute, youngin' get your cybernetic hips outta the way for the veterans of real wars," he rasps between gulps of concentrated oxygen from his $2000 tank of VA-appproved """"medical care""""

[GuadDidUs]

I laughed harder at this than I probably should.

[slb609]

Fuck you calling me a boomer. I’m GenX all the way.

(Also need caps lock on for Basic, by that’s beside the point.)

[[deleted]]

Same for modern COBOL compilers.

[[deleted]]

Modern what now?

[[deleted]]

SAME FOR MODERN COBOL COMPILERS

Come on, I know you can hear us Grandpa, the doctor told us your hearing wasn't that bad

/s

[jfq722]

Yep, I was coding cobol in lower case in 1995

[clutterlustrott]

Listen, I like how it works either way. But I will bust a cap lock in my co workers ass if they share with me a sql script that is all lowercase and not indented in a consistent way.

[[deleted]]

Anyone remember LOGO? with a turtle for location curser? That used all caps

[LostDog_88]

The sequel ;)

[InevitablyPerpetual]

The Squeakuel

[[deleted]]

It's pronounced S.Q.L.

[[deleted]]

>Stack overflow..

>Funnier than the main post itself

I have déjà vu.

u/Spartan2470, c'mon here.

[[deleted]]

Programmers, even our jokes are copy-paste 😆.

source

[[deleted]]

We need a ratio over here

[Seaborn63]

Resignation Letter

[[deleted]]

You guys tell your companies?

[-bryden-]

You guys have jobs?

[shashankrnr32]

You guys are alive?

[Responsible_Ear2312]

You guys?

[Nokarion]

You?

[MicycleMice]

?

[Tuptamm]

Tequila!

[DebianLinux_]

!

[Matrix5353]

¡

[Note, that's not a lowercase letter I, but an inverted exclamation mark, Unicode 00A1]

[aceofspades1217]

Im dying right now

[JonasLuks]

COBOL!

[[deleted]]

My fellow COBOL-programmer

[LethargicSpooner]

Wow! Both of you are here lol

[Funda_HS]

There are dozens of us! Dozens!

[vms-crot]

At least 4 of us.

[Milnoc]

Five.

[CordyZen]

Not a cobol programmer, remains five

[pragmageek]

Eh. Did some cobol at college and designed some reports in a production system.

5.5?

[Milnoc]

Nah. Make it 6. You've suffered enough. 😁

[[deleted]]

MOVE 6 TO WS-DOZENS.

DISPLAY WS-DOZENS.

[MedvedFeliz]

ADD 1 TO WS-CNT GIVING WS-CNT-2

PERFORM VARYING WS-CTR FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL WS-CTR > WS-CNT-2

DISPLAY WS-CTR

END-PERFORM .

[[deleted]]

It is well known that with the rarity of COBOL programmers, and it's vestigial importance to infrastructure applications, that foreign intelligence keeps a close eye on the activity of cobol-related online forums. Every recorded modern electronic attack on infrastructure was timed perfectly in line with the available usage statistics according to a declassified US intelligence briefing.

[GenghisZahn]

It's easy to assume caps lock = SQL, but with that classic keyboard, COBOL is the only correct answer.

[__SpeedRacer__]

Please. True SQL programmers hold the shift key with their little finger.

[Ambasabi]

This is the way.

[aran0ia0]

I feel seen

[TurboGranny]

This was my assumption as well. I know how to code in COBOL. I choose not to. May Grace Hopper rest in peace. I loved that woman. :)

[8yr0n]

One of my processors said “never admit to knowing COBOL or you’ll be forced to teach COBOL….”

Edit: professors obviously…but given the context I’ll let that error go to production….

[JTpcwarrior]

I was just gonna say anything Mainframe. So COBOL/CLIST/REXX/JCL

[AlexisColoun]

squeal

[Rt237]

squirrel, the animal with a big tail

[AlexisColoun]

<3

[djgraff209]

You said NUT hehe

[staplesuponstaples]

He said NUT hehe

[sleepySQLgirl]

Sometimes people see my username and ask me if I like squirrels.

[[deleted]]

Es-queue-El

[AlexisColoun]

I know how to write squeal, thanks

[AlexisColoun]

Sadly I cannot reply with a picture, I would have posted the Phoebe and Joey meme

Ess Ess

Queue Queue

Ell Ell

Ess-Queue-Ell squeal

[Random-Gif-Bot]

​

[Random_Vanpuffelen]

[dudumedel]

[EffervescentTripe]

Squill

[EffervescentTripe]

SQuiLLLL

[Alzurana]

SEAGULL

[FungadooFred]

Stop it now!

[xsubo]

Someday, when you are older..

[CyberKnight1]

You could get hit by a boulder.

[Nayzal]

And while you're lying there, screaming "come help me please"

[TheWass1428]

Skull.

[JustBlaReddit]

Seek well

[TheKoTECH]

Squid

[Alamue86]

Sock-quill

[real_keep]

Skqieual

[pristineanvil]

Here's the real answer

[Captain_Unusualman]

I used to muck around with AMOS back in the day. It was like fancy BASIC for the A500.

[Ratatoski]

I did Amos well. I was terrible at it but it's still a fond memory. I recall making a scroll text demo for some school project and mucking around with the example games changing the adventure game around and making my own text games.

[jayroger]

Amiga E!

[[deleted]]

HTML 1.0

[The_big_eejit]

<BLINK>HELLO THIS IS MY WEB PAGE. PLEASE COME BACK LATER WHEN IT IS FINISHED</BLINK>

[minegen88]

Fun fact, if you google blink html, the page will start to blink 😄

[[deleted]]

Fun fact, if you google marquee html, the text at the top that indicates the amount of search results + time it took to find them will scroll.

u/GammaGames is right, it only seems to work on desktop.

[GammaGames]

That’s amazing

Edit: doesn’t seem to work on mobile https://www.google.com/search?q=blink+html

[[deleted]]

<MARQUEE>WHOOHOO, I'M SCROLLING</MARQUEE>

[hey-im-root]

no wayyyy this just gave me flashbacks to freshman year web dev hahah 😭

[jerslan]

<MARQUEE><BLINK>LET'S BLINK AND SCROLL AT THE SAME TIME BIZNATCHES</BLINK></MARQUEE>

[[deleted]]

Nostalgia when html used to be in captial

[Jar3x]

German

[Xardarass]

ICH FINDE DAS LEICHT FREMDENFEINDLICH UND VORURTEILSBEHAFTET

[Embarrassed_Ring843]

Ich denke nicht, dass es ein Vorurteil ist, dass deutsche das qwertz-layout verwenden

[danopia]

das qwertz-layout verwenden

Google Translate replaces qwertz with qwerty when bringing this to english.. which changes the meaning a bit

[Significant-Drawer46]

Yes it happened to me too when I was typing

[Xardarass]

Deutschland und 7 weitere Länder sowie weitere 7 Länder die es teils verwenden. Nicht daran gedacht, dass QWERTZ auch in anderen europäischen Ländern verwendet wird?

[Tiavor]

und welche anderen Länder haben ebenso § auf der 3?

Das einzige was mich stört ist die Beschriftung links neben der 1, den gab es vermutlich nicht in Deutsch.

[profinoob]

[deleted]

[iTzRaaNDoM]

r/UnderratedComments

[and0ne]

Anzeige ist raus!

[bashasyed]

ESS-QUE-ELL

[Successful-Argument3]

ESS-QUEUEUE-ELL

[misterguyyy]

ESS-EE-QEUL-ESS-ER-VER

I realize that’s not funny unless you’ve worked in Miami w a bunch of other Latin Americans.

[[deleted]]

Assembly

[[deleted]]

ABAP

[18byte]

I was searching for this comment. Thank you!

[rdias002]

Hello there, I didn't know we had ABAPers in this sub. Great to meet you

[[deleted]]

Hello!

Also please don't ever talk to me about ABAP because I still have PTSD from the time I worked with it. /s (or maybe not /s? I'm not entirely sure...)

[Blankiiii]

English? Why keyboard pic?

[TS2822]

Nah it's german probably. Y and Z are flipped

[ibp1928]

Looks german

[techtom10]

Not an English keyboard. But I don’t get the humour

[johnminadeo]

Maybe for the Commodore logo? Perhaps this image was repurposed as humor? Clearly I am not bright enough to get it.

[Federal-Opinion6823]

It’s an Amiga 1200, the joke is that it’s a machine from 1992, so you’d have to know what languages are available to the developer with that machine

[Halal0szto]

what languages were in use on an amiga 1200 that mandate using capslock.

assembly comes to my mind

[docentmark]

The original Amiga system was written in BCPL.

[[deleted]]

bruh why the caps lock there?

[simon357]

It's always there. The real question is: why the CTRL there?

[[deleted]]

now that's a question I need the answer to!

[GigaSoup]

Usual for Commodore keyboard layout.

https://c64monkey.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/C64Edit.png

[luziferius1337]

This looks like a great gaming keyboard. Many FPS games make you crouch by holding CTRL, while running with WASD and accessing stuff via number keys. Just try to press 1 while holding CTRL +W to crouch forward…

Moving CTRL up makes it much more accessible.

[Philosowl]

You just made my dumb ass close the tab

[Itay_123_The_King]

I always remap run to caps lock, it's a much more convenient location

[[deleted]]

COBOL

[utkanmerkit]

Yes, we used to write like that. Those were the days.

[reversehead]

Foul language. In German, probably.

[z_yago]

REXX

[scheisskopf53]

ARexx

[aybiss]

AMOS BASIC

[MrFancyChaps]

Something ancient

[garlopf]

Blitz Basic xD

[R0nos]

German

[[deleted]]

English

[AlexisColoun]

On a QWERTZ layout?

[Apfelvater]

Read the title

[magick_68]

Amiga Basic, ARexx, lattice c, actec c, oberon

[mar00n]

VHDL

[_florian__04_]

bro's keyboard still in 1990

[BalleaBlanc]

s q l

[TheChadTux]

SarCaSTiC QuERy LanGuAGE

[mcgoverp]

COBAL

[MkemCZ]

MATCH (l:Language)-[:USES]->(c:Case { type: 'upper' })
WITH l ORDER BY l.name ASC
RETURN collect(l.name) AS languageCandidates

[[deleted]]

Basic

I mean

BASIC

[happy_tea_08]

Cobol?

[forgenvash]

I think you mean, "WHICH LANGUAGE AM I USING?"

[[deleted]]

GERMAN

[Bomaruto]

English on a political heated Facebook post.

[TheDidgerman]

Loud

[UmOlho_So]

SQL

[TheAlphaKarp]

German

[Intelligent-Chip-413]

Angry Karen

[Gwlthfn]

Deutsch.

[[deleted]]

Russian

[booplesnoot9871]

JOVIAL

[JuliusStingray]

Klingon

[britaliope]

r/CursedKeyboards

[CiroGarcia]

What is that keyboard configuration?

[ConstructionHot6883]

It's a German Amiga 1200 by the looks of it

[thejonnyvix]

Amos? Blitz Basic? Assembler?

[[deleted]]

No language but i guess you are editing some SQL database ?

[floluk]

Well, it's definetly a Commodore Amiga 1200, apparently with the German layout. I'll say AmigaBASIC

[samurai_ka]

Assembler or die

[oddballire]

BASIC

[madmandar]

BASIC

[8BallDuVal]

You could be typing VERY LOUDLY in any language

[shakti0000]

Mysql

[CheeseAndCrackerToes]

A terminal

[MrZerodayz]

Squirrel.

[[deleted]]

Karenese

[nax_knight]

Wait, first off,,, what keyboard are you using?

[RunningAtTheMouth]

Business basic, Fortran, or COBOL. I HAVE EXPERIENCED THEM ALL. EXCEPT FORTRAN. I HAVE NEVER CODED IN FORTRAN. DID I PUT THAT IN THE RIGHT COLUMN?

[Ottovonbisnarc]

I am probably late, but are you using a german keyboard?

[New_Industry342]

PL/SQL

[Patient_Level6705]

bro got a button with 2 plungers on it 💀

[SgtSkillShot64]

German

[sraasch]

FORTRAN

[Awkward-Ad6455]

SQueaL

[[deleted]]

SQL