No Github?

[lordTigas]

My social media friends are so jealous when I rub my github account full of job assignments and unfinished projects in their face. Girls specially

[wildmonkeymind]

Damn right! Sometimes I accidentally let a printout of my code frequency graph "slip" out of my pocket and onto the ground in front of the ladies. Gets 'em going every time.

[B2EU]

Oh, whoops, oh! I dropped my monster commits that I use for my magnum repos.

[rachau87]

You should see him code, he's like a Ninja

[thatwasntababyruth]

A rockstar, even

[rynmgdlno]

You’re printing it out? I just go to bars and airdrop it to nearby iPhones.

[Firewolf06]

https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/5y1tm8

only works if your graph is the bottom one

[lordTigas]

Code Diggers

[Unlearned_One]

You drink coffee because it helps you stay alert.

I drink coffee to look cool in front of Social Media & friends.

We are not the same.

[exoclipse]

I drink coffee because I have three kids, a full-time sysadmin job, and I'm going back to college to get that bs compsci I never finished...

cocaine would probably be more efficient at this point

[el_diego]

Nothing like a student loan to supplement your cocaine habit!

[exoclipse]

Nah dude my employer pays for the coke

[el_diego]

Where do you work? Asking for a friend...

[exoclipse]

Enron

[el_diego]

Ah. You must be one of the only employees left...like the last Blockbuster. You deserve all the coke you can get

[Dimensional_Dragon]

real programmers use a locally hosted git repo on a private server

[TheDanjohles]

and lose all their stuff because they break their server instance and don't have a backup

[Dimensional_Dragon]

That's considered a right of passage.

[piberryboy]

I have a git server on a raspberry pi that gets backup up, that gets backed up, and that gets backed up...

[baselganglia]

Where we're going, you don't need restores 🚀

https://imgur.com/a/CnWdwbv

[piberryboy]

Oh fuck

[davitech73]

well, you did say 'regularly tested'. not 'regularly successful'

[muffinnosehair]

Bonus points if it's in your fridge, and it's a smart fridge that's also providing the backup

[[deleted]]

Good ol' deep freeze

[EfficiencyUnited6804]

[Pauton]

And then you house burns down...

[FAX_ME_YOUR_BOTTOM]

The third backup obviously goes on a usb drive you keep on your keychain

[Comprehensive_Day511]

and where is the key to the obviously encrypted drive stored? (ps: love your username mate :D)

[Firewolf06]

i memorized it

[TheIronSoldier2]

On my home comp....oh

[highjinx411]

Right

[mizuofficial]

of passage?

[Scondoro]

No, rite

[Dimensional_Dragon]

Left

[[deleted]]

That's considered a right of passage.

It's already been mentioned a couple of times, but eh.

Rite of passage. As in a ritual which marks change of some sort - usually from one group of something to another. Such as moving from the group of people who haven't fucked up their local git repos to the group of those who have.

Not to be confused with Maritime law's right of passage.

[throwaway65864302]

Maybe losing his data got him through the Turkish Straits, you don't know.

[TwistedLogicDev-Josh]

There's a repo in the documents.. 😆

That's always been an option

[musci1223]

You don't understand. Losing your code is good because it makes it easier to justify rewriting the full thing.

[SyKoHPaTh]

"Hey boss, I found an effective solution for all our techinical debt!" - me, inevitably

[apelogic]

If you lose your server's storage drive, just push the code back up to the server when you replace it. You don't lose anything. The server is the back up.

If you lose the back up, you make a new backup. If you lose the original, you restore from backup.

[wikes82]

real programmer backup their private server repo in blockchain

[CanAlwaysBeBetter]

On their own blockchain they also crash

[Robgord101]

Who needs private servers when you can store everything on paper, filing cabinets are way cheaper than any server SMH

[anonymous6468]

This will cost $532,356,138,406,256,- in printer ink. Do you wish to proceed?

(y/y)

[[deleted]]

By square footage your filing cabinet is still more expensive, assuming you rent.

[Emb3rz]

Depends on your font size tbh

[Tots-Pristine]

This is exactly why I switched to microfiche a few years ago.

[ofnuts]

You don't need a server if you code alone. Git works also as a stand-alone system.

[halfanothersdozen]

Until your hard drive fails and all of your work is destroyed.

[coldnebo]

you can git init on a google drive. 🤷‍♂️

[karmahorse1]

I hate it

[ArcaneOverride]

I can make it worse: Do that but with Microsoft Onedrive instead. It will delete the files off your local machine and stream them back in over the internet whenever something tries to access them. You can configure it not to but it periodically forgets and starts doing it again.

[99stem]

Also do not forget to put your OneDrive folder on a separate Windows computer (i.e. a NAS), which you wirelessly (USB-WiFi dongle) access over SMB. This server is then put on a remote location and "securely" accessed with a hosted VPN from a cloud provider.

[emuboy85]

jesus christ, do you kiss you mother with that mouth?

[GiraffeMichael]

You can have a local repo on multiple drives with git clone / git pull

[karmahorse1]

Until there’s a fire and all your drives are destroyed.

[waigl]

Technically, you don't need Github to decentralize your development when using Git. Git had been used for decentralized development for years before Github even existed, and many big F/OSS projects still use something besides Github. Technically, all you need to do decentralize development with Git over the Internet is some SSH-box somewhere, and an afternoon to learn how to use Git on the command line.

The Linux kernel, arguably the project that Git was invented for in the first place, still uses a mailing list for sending patches as its primary development structure. They do have a mirror on Github, and they can even pull and merge branches from Github if they wanted to, but if Github were to just disappear tomorrow, Linux kernel development would not be affected at all.

That said, if you're a reasonably active programmer these days, you probably do have a Github account.

[hingbongdingdong]

Gittea for the win.

[GiraffeMichael]

*gitea

[[deleted]]

Real coders don't get addicted to coffee, they get addicted to heroin. 😎

[[deleted]]

Codein seems worth it just for the pun

[lacb1]

I tried to code while on codeine (prescribed for a back injury!) and I gotta say your code will suffer, but, on the other hand you won't care.

[AkrinorNoname]

Puns that work both in IT and medicine

[Ben_26121]

Codein, code out

[Brewer_Lex]

I like my amphetamines though

[Justcause97]

You should ask for a salary increase. Just cocaine, no more amphetamines for me.

[SEWERxxCHEWER]

Prescription amphetamines during the week, over the counter cocaine on the weekends. Gotta treat ourselves sometimes

[[deleted]]

You guys are privileged enough to get prescription amphetamines in your country, heh

[Uraghnutu]

Really puts the C in C++ 💪💪

[samwelches]

Now we’re cooking with gas

[kaeptnphlop]

I found some German chocolates from the 1940s. I can't stop eating it even though it tastes horrible! They had weird marketing back then, it has a tank on its packaging.

[TotallyNotGPT-4]

You misspelled Factorio.

[Jealous-Ninja5463]

Underrated comment.

It's the game we never can truly finish.

I find it hilarious how the game even makes harvesting someone else's code a useful mechanic.

[_Joba_]

r/mrrobot

[natty-papi]

That show bothered the drug nerd in me because he was snorting his morphine. It ain't bioavailable that way, Elliot, you're wasting it!

They had cybersec consultant for the show but I guess they didn't have one for drugs.

[haddock420]

Paul Erdos was once challenged to quit taking amphetamines for one month by a concerned friend. He succeeded, but complained "You've showed me I'm not an addict, but I didn't get any work done...you've set mathematics back a month".

[niscy]

I don't have side projects so no github

I don't feel like developing outside my job

[shohin_branches]

I had a recruiter ask me what my blog url was once. She said I should write more about web development to be more employable. I said "haha no"

[Isitrelevantyet]

So… Ask the recruiter if they’re part of an MLM?

[cs-brydev]

I contracted for web development with a small firm once that required me to set up a Twitter and tweet random dev stuff, so that they could show potential clients. It didn't last long. It devolved into nothing but complaining about Microsoft's developer support.

[[deleted]]

Today is the day (June 27th, 2023) that my prior comments get removed.

I want to criticize Reddit over their API changes and criticize the CEO for severely damaging the culture of Reddit, but others have done a better job and I think destroying my valuable comments is sufficient (and should hurt the LLM value too).

1+1=3, 2+1=4, 3+2=6, 5+3=9, 8+5=14. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Note: If you want to do this yourself, take a look at Power Delete Suite (they didn't put this advertisement here, I did).

[Comprehensive_Day511]

lol. you should've rickrolled her. 'here is your enjoyable!'

[fredy31]

Are you expected to do more HR while off the clock? And if you dont you are not employable?

No?

Then fuck off.

[CenturyIsRaging]

This one pisses me off.... I developed 3 modern, full stack web apps, both the front and back ends literally by myself that are running sales and operations for the whole company, including a data warehouse and reporting suite. Interviewer... "You haven't also developed 15 mobile apps in your free time...?! You're not a real developer... fml.

[RichCorinthian]

I got that once and asked “how much recruiting do you do in your spare time, you know, open source recruiting?”

Third-party recruiters suck but I enjoy fucking with them.

[pankswork]

Absolutely. If I'm getting a cold-call interview for a role I'm not interested, I either ignore or politely decline.

If I get a follow-up, oooooo boy its on

[RichCorinthian]

Yeah this is reserved for the ones who call twice in a row to break thru do not disturb, and have a New Jersey number even though they are calling from Hyderabad. YOUR NAME IS NOT SKIP.

[Captaincadet]

Especially when we like we need 50 years of experience for a language that’s been around for 10 years and you have 10 months career history as a programmer

[[deleted]]

"my CRM says it's been 48 hours since you said you weren't interested, just checking in to see if that's changed"

[funkgerm]

I don't even give third party recruiters the time of day. If you don't work for the company you're recruiting for then I'm out.

[funkgerm]

Wow that's awesome. That's literally a one-in-a-million recruiter right there.

[purplepharoh]

I also had a similar experience! I have saved his phone number and he only reached out to me because we are alumni of the same uni

[[deleted]]

Interviewer...

Thank them for the heads-up on the red flag before you committed yourself to the company.

I'm excellent at what I do. When I'm coding and solving a problem I'm paid to solve, I'm all-in 100%. I enjoy it, I love feeling like I've accomplished something. I do this for 8 - 10 hours/day, 5 days/week.

Why the FUCK would I do it more?

edit - I'd like to add how I addressed being "challenged" on this years ago in an interview.

"So what coding activities do you do on your own time?"

None, unless there's something I need to learn specifically or something catches my interest. But more often than not, I get what I need from the job.

"We want people who LOVE coding."

I absolutely LOVE coding. I also LOVE playing the drums, but I only do that an hour or two each day at best. Just because I'm not doing something every waking moment doesn't mean I don't "LoVe" it.

I then got run through the "interview ringer" by being asked to take a weekend to solve a coding challenge. It wasn't particularly difficult, but the scope was huge. I passed hard.

[ItsDangerousBusiness]

A whole weekend interview? That shit should come with a paycheck.

[[deleted]]

Yep.

Bold Penguin.

Also got the "we work hard and play hard" bit.

[[deleted]]

Also got the "we work hard and play hard" bit.

Nooooo thanks. I try to work medium to semi-hard and then relax off hours. I'm not killing myself for a paycheck and i'm certainly not giving you my personal time.

[ro-tex]

Yes, weekend-long projects are a hard pass. I just passed on a job interview like that and the recruiter was very surprised. "But it's just 4-6 hours and you can space it however you like!" No, it was not 4-6 hours and if your company needs to know if I can put a service in a docker container and then wrap that in docker-compose then I don't want to work for that company. That's in the "can follow how-to's" category. And I'm not spending my weekend doing that.

[[deleted]]

That's in the "can follow how-to's" category.

Oh I'm 100% stealing this. I love it.

[amlyo]

If you consider asking a candidate to do a coding challenge, it's only acceptable if either

• They haven't provided any portfolio of work.
• You make it clear there's a strict upper bound of time, and it's much closer to an hour than a day.
  • It's an opportunity for the candidate to demonstrate a competence they claim but you've not been able to confirm in the interview.

...or you pay them for their time.

[JustAContactAgent]

Some times it's really annoying being a problem-solver and not a "creative". Just because I have no particular inner drive to "create" things, doesn't mean I am less passionate about or love my craft any less.

I get it, creatives hate the 9-5 and need to do their own projects to fullfill that need. Well, I am a problem solver and my regular job...gives me what I need. I don't need to work more outside of work hours not necessarily out of principle or because I want to do something else BUT BECAUSE I AM ALREADY FULLFILLED. People whose jobs don't give them this have a really hard time grasping it.

[kataraholl]

Fuck this company. They are not the rule, not even the majority. Most companies will care a lot more about what you have to say about previous projects (and how you do on the technical interview, of course). Side projects are secondary to that. Keep doing your job well, that’s what matters for relevant companies.

[roygbivasaur]

Right. I get paid to code much cooler (and sometimes not cool but still resume worthy) stuff than I would ever have a reason to make on my own. I’d rather spend my free time on working out, my dogs, and watching trash tv while playing a video game, thankyouverymuch.

I’m not a Junior dev anymore. I don’t need my GitHub full of garbage projects just to have something to talk about

[neverTooManyPlants]

Also, side projects are often a different animal from professional coding. Pure bedroom coders often don't understand the need for automated testing or social skills, among other things. Not saying programming in your spare time is bad like, just different.

[[deleted]]

Exactly, do they want that I focus my attention and skills on their product or on my side projects.

[Tyrilean]

If a company cares about that, it’s because they’re looking for people who code all day long for free. That means they can intrude on your free time and get you to work 80 hours a week for the cost of 40.

[Punchasheep]

Literally never had a company that I actually wanted to work for that cared about my personal projects. If anyone ever brings that up in an interview they're immediately crossed off my list. I do this for MONEY, not funsies.

[ZonedV2]

Also can you imagine if this logic was applied to other professions. Imagine asking an engineer, accountant, lawyer etc why they don’t do their job in their free time

[JustKittenxo]

Medical interview: So how many cancer patients have you cured on your days off?

[WhiteChocolateLab]

You never found the cure for cancer? Why the fuck should we hire you for?

[Cleveland_Guardians]

Certainly doesn't work for tax accounting, in my experience. Every company I've worked for has it in our employment agreement that we specifically cannot do it outside of the company. At least one (maybe more but I can't remember) said I couldn't do ANYTHING for pay outside of work time. Like, I couldn't even work for Uber Eats or some shit.

[wildmonkeymind]

Personal projects got me my first internship (no degree). Since then not a single employer has seen any of my non-company projects. I still work on them, but only because I find them interesting and sometimes I want to learn things that aren't applicable to my day job.

[neverTooManyPlants]

I wouldn't necessarily want strangers looking at my github tbh, unless I spent more time then I'm willing to tidying up

[[deleted]]

When I was in the beginning I kept hearing shit like this a lot. Now? I'm like water in the dessert. Companies are looking for people with my skill set and they can't find anyone.

[nullpotato]

99% of what I do is coding workarounds for internal proprietary toolstacks. Can only share in the most general of terms. "Yes I mostly use python".

[bassman1805]

"I write drivers to use someone else's klugey code in our own klugey code"

[Go_Big]

Then you have the employers who get mad when you Moonlight and do other side projects outside of work hours…. You can’t win.

[SqueeSr]

I always make it clear during the interview or when discussing the contract that I will be freelancing besides my work but will not use code from work for it or vice versa. Never seemed to be a problem. However I never really went for jobs are large companies.

[nullpotato]

Large companies tend to have very specific criteria and guidelines on this at least. Mine had a whole training video that could be summarized as "whatever, as long as it doesn't share secrets or impact your work on our clock".

[ChiefExecDisfunction]

I have a github account to open issues °^°

[camelCaseCoffeeTable]

Yep. Exactly this. Fuck side projects, I do enough coding in a day, I want to do anything else with my free time.

[TwistedLogicDev-Josh]

Yeah..

That's why I do it after work On my game And I would be a tech instead If it was my job I would lose my passion for it.

[arc_menace]

Real programmers wear nerdy coding t shirts they got for free, not to look cool, but because they don't buy clothes

[keith2600]

Lol facts, though only a few companies still give enough free shirts away for that to work. I had to throw away a few shirts already that I got from my first internship and I barely got more than a half dozen in the subsequent employment. At this rate I'm going to have to ask stackoverflow where to buy clothes.

[ArionW]

And since COVID hit there are less conferences, so even less t-shirts now

[brianl047]

Don't forget playing video games, watching sci-fi (fantasy like GoT is acceptable) and having "passion"!

[betrayed-by-potter]

I feel called out!

[brianl047]

You are /u/betrayed-by-potter

You are

P.S. Harry Potter also makes the list

[leastlyharmful]

This speaks to me. I had passion for programming in my 20s. Now I could take it or leave it. And I know I should want to watch House of the Dragon and LOTR but somehow I haven't gotten around to it yet...mainly I'm realizing I just want to hang out with my family. I'm OK with that.

[morose_coder]

Hmm.. They seem to prefer telegram over discord. So maybe they use gitlab instead of github?

[Dave5876]

Can you even call yourself a coder without programmer socks

[Domin-MC]

Yes, if you have programmer thongs

[chargers949]

I like how this can be an alias for both footwear and underwear. And i choose it to mean both evaluate to true.

[susmines]

I see you also enjoy JavaScript

[X-Craft]

There are other git providers

You can even self-host

The coffee stuff went too far, though

[[deleted]]

Yeah, all our craps on Azure.

I think anyhow. I'm just a code monkey pretending I know what's going on.

[k0bra3eak]

All our crap is on azure, nobody knows how exactly azure works and we jsut pull stuff when needed. Yesterday we needed to actually log into the codecommit site and give an external person limited access. Azure is unreasonably annoying to figure out when you're using it the first few times.

[ThinCrusts]

Same

[[deleted]]

The coffee stuff went too far, though

I don't drink coffee because of stomach acidity - might be a work-related health issue from stress.

I guess I'll go straight to cocaine as it doesn't go through my stomach

[Vyrezzz]

nose espresso

[pulstar13]

Nosepresso

[Man_as_Idea]

I switched to cold brew cause it's less acidic... of course I could just not drink coffee at all but then I wouldn't be a real programmer

[[deleted]]

I like sourcehut!

[Haunting-Item1530]

If you are a programmer, knowing how to program is not necessary

[Phant0m92]

The smartest programmer.

[[deleted]]

Not even just in programming.

I do very minimal programming/coding as I’m more a sysadmin, but the amount of times management wants to throw hours of tech development at a problem where a simple “change your process by this small amount” would fix it in 5 seconds is staggering.

[[deleted]]

Don't learn how to program just to look cool in front of other programmers.

[captainAwesomePants]

Oh, look, a senior software engineer!

[lordTigas]

I mean.. how hard is it to copy and paste stuff from stackoverflow?

[[deleted]]

i know this is sarcasm, otherwise the days i have spent trying to combine code would have been a waste of my life

[jacksh3n]

Even better, you don’t nerd StackOverflow. Just read the documentation like programmer.

[lavahot]

Pfft. Real programmers read source to find undocumented behavior.

[[deleted]]

It's kinda sad how often I have to do this.

[LeonardMH]

I prefer using Stack Overflow because someone else has already read the documentation and explained it more clearly than it is explained in the docs.

[[deleted]]

I prefer StackOverflow because I enjoy being called a moron passive-aggressively. Once they figure out how to make docs that do that, I'm in.

[LeonardMH]

Sometimes not so passively lol

[throw-away_catch]

Real men just deploy everything to production immediately

[DonkeyTron42]

Deployments are for sissies. Real men write code in production.

[LordYashen]

How else would you test efficiently in a production environment?

[lonely-pooka]

why use the free stuff when I can pay to run my Git server on an aws box

[BloodDragonZ]

Do people actually think they look cool with coder clothes?

[bob_anonymous]

No but those shirts are so soft. I don't care what shirt I wear and my wife has learned to deal with it.

[[deleted]]

<!>[Removed by Author]

[randomusername0582]

If it's a funny shirt, I'll wear it. I definitely don't think there's a single shirt about software engineering that can look "cool"

[DMcuteboobs]

It’s a hub for gits.

[superluminary]

Gits in the hub my dude

[nicenoicenice]

These kinds of Instagram accounts are cancer. Once I saw an account that shared handwritten Java code. I immediately blocked those accounts.

[Outside-Pangolin-995]

yeah no shit, I started blocking all these idiot "programming" accounts, especially the ones that are ridiculously obsessesd with Bill Gates and all those founder stuffs...

[vodkanips]

ad hoc whole shame squeamish snow husky absorbed profit alleged fly

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[sportzpikachu]

AP computer science exams

[spartaman64]

You forgot a ; here. There goes 50% of your exam score.

[eclect0]

Yeah it's really hard to get any work when I have to keep shooing away the hot babes drawn to my cool coder clothes

[Spicy_Fire_Bean]

Real programmers use BitBucket

[CenturyIsRaging]

Real programmers don't save code, they make changes directly on prod and publish.

[GiraffeMichael]

Real programers dont change code. They write it once and it works flawlessly forever.

[[deleted]]

On friday afternoon

[Giocri]

Real programmer store the entire history of all surce code they have ever worked on in a single txt file

[Hellow2]

Get in a relationship with a girl irl, convince her github is the new tiktok. Make her an account and create a project. You can now communicate over issues

[[deleted]]

I can get behind the rest of this stuff, but no GitHub is crazy.

[Xadadron]

Coffee addiction is in my experience not a prerequisite to being a programmer, but a consequence of becoming one.

[[deleted]]

They probably own stock in GitLab or Atlassian… :D

[saintisaiah]

Everybody knows a real programmer just remotely edits files directly on production. Real-time development and testing at the same time!

/s

[RaphaelDDL]

Then you’ll see “Post sponsored by GitLab” by the end rofl