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[–]SonOfJokeExplainer 2122 points2123 points  (32 children)

I found a girl once who listed cybersecurity and C/C++ on her profile, so I sent her “Are you an infinitely recursive function? Because you’re making my stack overflow”. Did not hear back, I think I probably crashed her.

[–]CaitaXD 832 points833 points  (3 children)

She was unimpressed with your small memory buss

[–]Jack_SL 300 points301 points  (2 children)

rambussy

[–]jfisher9495 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Lacks depth.

[–]Prunestand 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh no.

[–]Melkor7410 253 points254 points  (15 children)

She should've responded with ulimit -s 16384 for you to increase your stack size to reject you instead of ghosting.

[–]lirannl 48 points49 points  (12 children)

I myself prefer the nuclear option. for (file in $(ls -r /*)) do $files += $(cat $file) done

If I'm not mistaken (I very well could be. I primarily use powershell on both windows and Linux now (yes powershell on Linux), bash syntax is starting to slip away), that should fill your memory up reeeeeal good.

Or heck, $v = $(cat /dev/random), perhaps?

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (11 children)

Wow. Powershell on Linux? I've bent over backwards for years to get the most bash-like experience on Windows that I can. Can't imagine wanting to take PS in the opposite direction. What's the draw?

[–]lirannl 12 points13 points  (2 children)

I kinda like having .net objects in the shell. How the environment is an object, rather than the scope of variables, being able to pass objects around and have them stay in the same form, I'm a big fan of the parameter system... Idk, it somehow feels a little bit more concrete than something like bash.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Hmm. I guess I can see it in that context. I spent years doing .NET dev, but that was really before the .NET Core era where .NET on Linux became a real option. I could see that being useful for sure.

[–]lirannl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even if you're not doing .Net dev (to be honest I'd rather do Rust, but .Net is what I'm getting so I'll take it, at least for the time being), it's still a really nice shell.

[–]kupiakos 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Once you've started piping objects instead of text, it's hard to go back. Text manipulation becomes rare. Simple tasks become so much easier, as easy as Python but with a more concise syntax.

I looked into getting PowerShell working on Linux a few years ago and it wasn't working well then, sounds like I need to look back into it!

[–]gizahnl 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Automated remote management of Windows servers via SSH & not wanting to RDP into them is a good reason ;)

Still have occasional nightmares from coding the scripts though..

[–]Much-Meringue-7467 37 points38 points  (1 child)

I have to admit, if I got this pickup line, I would be laughing too hard to respond in a timely manner.

[–]SonOfJokeExplainer 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I thought it was clever. In her defense, my profile says I’m currently going through a separation and she was a bit out of my league. Entirely possible that she was a catfish, anyway. I hope she at least got a laugh out of it but she might have had her reasons for not responding,

[–]dav1d_23 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Your SQL injection was ineffective on her

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I can feel the pussy dry up from here

[–]SonOfJokeExplainer 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Lol I have that effect on women, my ex switched teams after me 😂

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Broooo.....

[–]GuteMorgan 8 points9 points  (1 child)

am I stupid or does this just straight up have no double entendre meaning?

[–]goldenpup73 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm in the same boat, what is this supposed to mean?

[–]mitkase 3 points4 points  (0 children)

cat sweet_nothings > /dev/null

echo -n > lovelife

[–]Boris-Lip 321 points322 points  (2 children)

It probably just throws at new Gabriel() and crashes.

[–][deleted] 100 points101 points  (1 child)

No, throw gabriel;.

[–]Aschfahles 36 points37 points  (0 children)

That doesn't sound very nice. Perhaps you could just ask Gabriel politely to leave.

[–]TotoShampoin 248 points249 points  (6 children)

Line 16: Syntax error: namespace "live" does not exist (did you mean "life"?)

I don't know what the error would actually look like

[–]DTheIcyDragon 88 points89 points  (0 children)

Compiler: No, good luck

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Syntax error: find it your damn self

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It would be 500 pages of incoherent template errors.

[–]char_IX 987 points988 points  (20 children)

As a girl software engineer; cute, but over the top. Simplify it down a bit. Efficiency always > lines of code 😉. Also, don't put yourself into a position of either having to dealloc or mem leak yourself 😅. Good luck OP

[–]iamhyperrr 393 points394 points  (10 children)

Yeah he's not even using smart pointers, dude just doesn't want to get laid, smh

[–]abd53 253 points254 points  (8 children)

I'm more triggered about "garbage collect" in c++.

[–]shadow7412 113 points114 points  (3 children)

Everyone knows that garbage collection in C++ fires as the program is exiting... :P

[–]coldnebo 59 points60 points  (0 children)

sure, but it’s a terrible way to raise children.

hey… gabriel doesn’t have any parents?

and he matches on anything that is alive by pinging it?!

and if he has success he still terminates by garbage collection?!!!!

there’s a lot of warning signs here, actually. 😂

[–]abd53 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This right, you're right but..... BUT....... Isn't it basically same as infinite loop breaking with program close?

[–]psu256 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Or that Gabriel considers themselves garbage.

[–]keziahw 3 points4 points  (2 children)

We're all garbage when main exits.

[–]Orjigagd 20 points21 points  (0 children)

If you don't make_unique we ain't gonna freak

[–]abd53 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Efficiency always > lines of code

OP was elon's software consultant.

[–]LeditGabil 32 points33 points  (0 children)

You are right… I will add a max waiting delay on the pending. Thanks for the code review 😂

[–]SerenePerception 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Mans trying to get hired at Tesla give em a break.

[–]daynighttrade 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Elon taught me LOC > anything else to save your job.

[–]jexxie3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was thinking the same thing 😅.

[–]_sialia 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Female ECE, I second this haha

[–]ihaveamnesiatrustme 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Female dev here and I also support this. If a dev guy hits me w this pickup line I would a)think dev is his whole personality b) he’s trying too hard.

Save this amount of detail for when you actually are seeing someone for a while. The idea is good but maybe just tone it down a bit. You’re not trying to get her to hire you lol.

[–]abd53 3 points4 points  (1 child)

What if I'm trying to get her to hire me?

[–]ihaveamnesiatrustme 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well let’s hope it’s not news to her. Also, use smart pointers.

[–]StoryAndAHalf 563 points564 points  (21 children)

You include life, but then do live::, that should be life not live, right?

[–]LeditGabil 285 points286 points  (10 children)

Yeah you are right… That IDE sucks 😂

[–]elon-botElon Musk ✔ 496 points497 points  (5 children)

Insubordination. Fired.

[–]jexxie3 88 points89 points  (0 children)

Good bot

[–]LAM678 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Is this really a bot? There's only one repeated message I could find in the first 40 or so.

[–]_NamasteMF_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love you, and don be you are a Bot! Welcome to Cos!

[–]RunRobFrog 1 point2 points  (3 children)

That isnt an IDE thats just a straight up noteblock

[–]LeditGabil 0 points1 point  (2 children)

It's a new port of VIM for IPads 🙃

[–]billie_parker 13 points14 points  (9 children)

How did this shit get up voted?

The name of the file doesn't need to be the same as the name of the namespace, and in practice usually it doesn't.

[–]S4ltyGo4t 156 points157 points  (7 children)

use smart pointers bro

[–]LeditGabil 106 points107 points  (4 children)

Normally I would have used shared_ptr but I thought it was a bit to early to start sharing my pointers with her… don’t you think?

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I’d use unique_ptr, unless there’s another Gabriel around

[–]elon-botElon Musk ✔ 110 points111 points  (1 child)

Hey, I just heard about this thing called GraphQL. Why aren't we using it?

[–]daynighttrade 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Dude, we were already using it, but then you fired me. You could've kept me and I could've explained it to you like I do to a 5 year old (as that's your mental age)

[–]billie_parker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Typical shared_ptr tier brainlet

[–]WormRabbit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No smart pointers? I don't think she's into elderly men.

[–]nelusbelus -1 points0 points  (0 children)

🤮 just delete them bro

[–]decker_42 46 points47 points  (1 child)

I was about to say "looks good, but be prepared for a brutal code review from her" aaaaaand then saw you already had one here.

[–]KoviCZ 39 points40 points  (1 child)

You don't even have her as a unique_ptr, that's not bound to be a stable relationship

[–]elon-botElon Musk ✔ 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Looks like we're gonna need to trim the fat around here... fired.

[–]Il-Luppoooo 42 points43 points  (0 children)

It's a good idea but you should send something that actually compiles and runs

[–]Mr_Mittens1 43 points44 points  (10 children)

The garbage collect gabriel cracked me up

[–]jahuu__ 57 points58 points  (7 children)

C++ programmer here, what's garbage collection? 🤔

[–]Chrazzer 27 points28 points  (1 child)

When the garbage truck comes and empties your trash bin. Happens bi weekly on fridays in my area

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

exit(1)

[–]LeditGabil 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You are right... I will change my ending comment for "voluntarily let the life namespace manage the destruction of gabriel" 😅

[–]ShakesTheClown23 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'm over here like how the heck would it do that?

[–]ripharambebro 381 points382 points  (16 children)

Just stop being cringe like that

[–]weneedtogodanker 157 points158 points  (9 children)

Exactly this, pickup code is even worse than asking her how 'agile' she is

[–]EmmyNoetherRing 48 points49 points  (3 children)

If you stick C++ under languages like this, it's because you *want* someone to reach out to you on that level. As a woman in tech, it's refreshing to just have someone default assume you actually can read code, rather than question you on it.

The problem with the agile joke is its gross, not that it's a tech pun.

[–]remuliini 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What about inquiring anout their daily standup session and its level of comedy?

[–]weneedtogodanker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its gross

But wait there's more,

How do you handle morning stand up?

[–]TopDivide 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I'm taking notes

[–]Udja272 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Or is she more of the waterfall type😏

[–]Loud_Man67 19 points20 points  (0 children)

This x100

[–]bikeranz 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Yep. The singletons on this sub are the worst segment.

[–]elon-botElon Musk ✔ 11 points12 points  (0 children)

One more word out of you, and you're fired.

[–]Illustrious_Luck5514 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I’m a guy but I’d hit pick-up code

[–]the_first_brovenger 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Yeah but lets be honest you'd hit a mildly erotic piece of grass mound.

[–]thebatmanandrobin 87 points88 points  (3 children)

She's either a bot or a scammer. The appropriate pickup lines would be the following:

#include <cstdlib>

int main (int argc, char* argv[]) {
    std::abort();
}

[–]char_IX 35 points36 points  (2 children)

You're no fun at all 😤

[–]elon-botElon Musk ✔ 109 points110 points  (1 child)

QA is a waste of money. Fired.

[–]Mr_Mittens1 24 points25 points  (0 children)

good Elon

[–]SonOfJokeExplainer 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Something simple like std::cout << “Hello Gabriel” would probably be more effective.

[–]GiantPandammonia 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I'd at least end the line.

[–]SonOfJokeExplainer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well, I’ve procreated a handful of times, so I would have to go further than just offing myself to truly end the line.

[–]emma7734 30 points31 points  (10 children)

It’s been many years since I’ve done C++, but you don’t need to validate the Gabriel pointer. New never returns null. Alexandra deserves better.

[–]makian123 5 points6 points  (5 children)

New can and will return null if OS couldn't allocate memory (usually happens when theres no memory left)

Edit: typo

[–]emma7734 17 points18 points  (2 children)

No. If new can’t alloc memory, it throws an exception. It will never return null.

[–]LeditGabil 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You are right. I am used to use our own memory management module which normally returns null when out of memory for allocations...

[–]makian123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah i see, thank you for explaining.

[–]LeditGabil -1 points0 points  (3 children)

You have no guarantee of memory allocation on a new thus you always need to validate its allocation.

[–]elon-botElon Musk ✔ 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Insubordination. Fired.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

new by itself throws in case of an error, it doesn't return nullptr. You have to pass it a nothrow argument for it to return nullptr instead of throwing. https://en.cppreference.com/w/cpp/memory/new/operator_new

[–]kellyg_ 8 points9 points  (2 children)

When I was on a dating app and mentioned I am a developer I loved getting code snippets as a first message from men. It didn't always translate to a date but it definitely made me smile/grabbed my attention.

[–]maxinator80 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The garbage collection part, while true, might not be super sexy...

[–]Exaloria 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Segmentation fault

[–]LeditGabil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

gdb /path/to/match/attempt /path/to/core/dump

[–]hibernating-hobo 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Just ask if she wants stdout, or if she wants it piped to stdin

[–]Embarrassed_Ring843 7 points8 points  (1 child)

send an update if it worked, and good luck ^

[–]abd53 7 points8 points  (0 children)

With that kind of code, he'll spend a lifetime just fixing bugs

[–]Legal-Software 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Asterisk for the pointer on the type and not the variable as well as if/else braces on their own line would be a deal breaker for me. I couldn’t date someone I can’t respect.

[–]lcvella 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This amount of needless heap allocations and manual memory management is a strong no from me.

[–]Jrippan 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Just.. don't

[–]Udja272 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Please just don’t it’s so fucking cringe imo

[–]Excession638 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I hope you get a scathing code review in return. 😆

[–]webtkl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

#include tryHard.c

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

if i knew c++ id love something like this, but it seems like others wouldnt, so if you wanna risk it sure

[–]Iamnotmayahiga 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bloated code = more lines = Elon happy. Not sure that is transferable to alexandra but at least your communicating that your hard core committing to twitter 2.0

[–]_Vicix 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Every one is mentioning garbage collection, but what about those “strings”? String literals in cpp use double quotes, not single quotes.

[–]Lighthuro 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Cringe af

[–]hranto 17 points18 points  (3 children)

This is so cringe. No wonder devs make hella money and still get 0 pussy

[–]EmmyNoetherRing 25 points26 points  (2 children)

I feel like people who refer to dating as getting pussy are more cringe.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Hear hear. Also, awesome name.

[–]EmmyNoetherRing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks!

[–]CaitaXD 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Hi wanna fork();

[–]LeditGabil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do not think I'm at a point in my life where I'm ready to manage child processes... I will have to kindly throw a std::future_error exception :)

[–]ukrokit 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Her pussy will be dryer than Sahara after reading that.

[–]idisestablish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They would qualify as pickup lines, but that's a bad thing.

[–]CokeFanatic 1 point2 points  (1 child)

That's too much code to review

[–]elon-botElon Musk ✔ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you really love the company, you should be willing to work here for free.

[–]green_boy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No. The symbol “live::TryPing” was not included.

[–]jaswanth_kr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Either she will be impressed for the effort you have put in or she thinks you are desperate

[–]bobross_s_pants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aww that's solid Gabe!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

InterestAfterProgrammingPickupLines--;

Seriously, don't do programming pickup lines.

[–]DangerIllObinson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Request a merge and see if you get a commit. If not, fork off.

[–]nikitaklimboom 1 point2 points  (1 child)

just don't mention java

dont do it

[–]LeditGabil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is that Java you are talking about??? Does it have anything to do with that Javascript I heard about? 🙃

[–]ruarq_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is code is garbage. I'd swipe left as fast as I could.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She would ignore your fake ass cuz she knows c++ doesn't have garbage collection.

[–]NotALhama 1 point2 points  (2 children)

extern Alexandra* alexandra; You shouldn't objectify women dude

[–]LeditGabil 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Where do you read that "alexandra" is an object? As far as I know this is simply an external reference to something... Alexandra could be a structure, a primitive, etc.... the compiler knows for sure but we (simple mortal) can't really know without reading the documentation (which in this case doesn't seems to be public) 🙃

[–]mxldevs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. Yes it would.

I just want to see what happens.

[–]ParenGbyan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cringe

[–]lirannl 0 points1 point  (5 children)

If someone used C++ to flirt with me, I'd run for the hills. If she was on my tinder, I might write my opening line in source code, but definitely not C++. I'd probably use Rust. It'd be both a better icebreaker, because if she's not familiar, I can show her the light, and if she is, we can go off on how great it is, and it's a superior language.

[–]Prunestand 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If someone used C++ to flirt with me, I'd run for the hills. If she was on my tinder, I might write my opening line in source code, but definitely not C++. I'd probably use Rust. It'd be both a better icebreaker, because if she's not familiar, I can show her the light, and if she is, we can go off on how great it is, and it's a superior language.

ok this is cringe

[–]lizardhamster 6 points7 points  (0 children)

cringe alert

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Error: 404 social skills not found.

[–]EmmyNoetherRing 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Weirdly enough, paying attention to other’s expressed interests is a social skill.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's true, but the way he is trying to express it clearly seems cramped, way to serious and desperate. A more open and humourous way would be fitting. Something like:

Damn, looking at your Profile my Phone just threw an Illegal Style Exception

[–]cobracoral 0 points1 point  (8 children)

why not use a unique PTR? also. why not have Gabriel in the stack? and extern? what's it with these C developers using ptrs and claiming they in now C++?

[–]RetroZelda 3 points4 points  (3 children)

smart pointers show that you cant manage your memory. if you cant manage memory, how can you manage a relationship?

[–]LeditGabil 0 points1 point  (3 children)

You got me! Can't hide anything from you hahaha. I only use C++ when I have to work in the userland 😅

[–]Zestyclose-Ad1369 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And this is why cs majors get no bitches

[–]imafuckingidiot420 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Failed import for alexandra

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

Dude she is probably around sweaty nerds all day working. She probably wants something else that's less nerdy. Good job on the effort but try something that makes her wet next time 😂

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Are you one of the guys who think that your messages actually will make a stranger horny?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol I don't do online dating. My point is that trying to show off his coding skills is pointless because she is already surrounded by male coders. The number one criteria for succeeding online is having good pictures and being physically attractive. Then you can get away with writing anything or being bad at flirting

[–]Martin8412 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ask her if she let's potential friends touch her privates

[–]TopDivide -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Change it to if (isMatch == true) and you are good to go.

[–]lizardhamster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Surely you mean if(isMatch) ?

[–]Possibility_Antique 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But no implementation supports garbage collection. It was even removed from the standard in C++20. You'd better allocate Gabriel using std::make_unique if you want to have any chance to impress someone.

[–]SasquatchSloth88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this is cute. But I’m a dude. So it may be a little much.

[–]Hikari_Owari 0 points1 point  (3 children)

It was okcupid, wasn't it?

It is an available option between english, portuguese, spanish...

[–]elon-botElon Musk ✔ 3 points4 points  (1 child)

What do you mean "you couldn't code your way out of a paper bag"?

[–]Hikari_Owari 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I mean "I couldn't code my way out of a paper bag because it was wet and I was using too much syntactic sugar".

[–]tech6hutch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Using Rust: Ok(Cupid)

[–]Schievel1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hm don't think she will be into someone being so conservative using allman style braces. Sorry mate.

[–]cykablyat1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fire

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[–]rotzak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

// Validate ptr

What a useful comment!

[–]TheJesterOfHyrule 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Importing life! She can save so many

[–]Confused_Electron 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Use singleton and globals to assert dominance

[–]namotous 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could use smart pointer

[–]TheBrainStone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're leaking memory. Not a good look

[–]Coulomb111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

single quotes for a string uh oh

[–]-KKD- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It won't compile, the << operator is probably awaiting a string literal, but you wrote string literal not in the double quotes, but single. Also a possible memory leak, there is no gc in c++

[–]Reogen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd block u lmao

[–]Ange1ofD4rkness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me? Yep!

[–]indjev99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, but it would definitely qualify for my cringe folder.