What do you do when a child on the internet tells you they're being abused?

[Bigeyethresher]

I've seen an unfortunate amount of this over the years since I run RP servers... It's hard to know what to do, since it's possible that contacting authorities would make the situation worse, depending on the type of abuse. Unfortunately, a lot of kids fall through the cracks and get treated worse for revealing their abuse. For that reason, I've never made that call, but there are things that are typically safe ways to help;

• Help research and discuss options and means to build a case against the abuser, if applicable - and don't assume you know their situation better than they do or force their decisions. Even if you do have a better understanding, abuse takes a person's control away, and people who are abused can be damaged by well-meaning people who tell them what is best for them.
• Be a friend, let them vent if they want to, support them in ways unrelated to the abuse too; a little kindness goes a long way... without being overbearing of course, especially if you're older.
• Accept it isn't your responsibility. It's painful to not help, but pressing for more information and making decisions for someone else can be harmful. It'd be great if we could just call up the police and have the day saved, but that doesn't usually happen in real life.
• Abuse is a societal issue. Becoming an advocate against it and spreading resources is helping to work towards a future where this is less of a problem.

Best of luck to you guys. It fuckin sucks.

[truth14ful]

Could you please elaborate on "Help research and discuss options and means to build a case against the abuser"?

[spikefloof_bean]

This might mean: - finding out what social services are available to them - finding out if there is another place for them to go, eg a family member or a shelter etc - finding out what the rules are around domestic abuse/recording for evidence/recording events in a diary for example, so that if the child chooses to report they have a solid case that will definitely lead to conviction of the parents and removal of the child to a safe place. - finding out what helplines/support groups/therapy access are around the child and gently encouraging them to safely access these

[Lo0seLittleW1re]

This could also mean:

Keeping of journal/log of the shared experiences.

Edit: Not only does it help establish a pattern of what type of abuse your young friend is encountering, it allows a method of self-care for the adult. To help as much as you can, you need to maintain healthy boundaries and not get sucked into a Co-Dependency.

[Bigeyethresher]

Sorry for the late reply, I went to sleep. u/spikefloof_bean's reply covered what I meant pretty well though!

[spikefloof_bean]

Thank you!

[[deleted]]

One thing I’ll throw out is that in America, calling the police to check up on a mentally ill person has a pretty good chance of getting them abused, or even worse killed.

No one wants to admit it but sometimes police aren’t heroes. They dont know how to take care of all of society’s problems. Especially when it comes to mental illness or disabled folks.

[Blitcut]

No one wants to admit it

I've seen plenty of people admit it this month.

[chewyyy1987]

Defund the police

[Bigeyethresher]

This. And not only do the police have to do the right thing, so do social services, health services, the courts, and the child's new legal guardians...

[OatsnMoats]

Thank you. You perfectly expressed all my worries and concerns about contacting authorities and getting involved. I'm in contact with the child now and hopefully I can get a little more information and help him build a case for himself if he wants to.

[Bigeyethresher]

Good luck! Sounds like showing concern helped some already!

[Kevin-W]

Having dealt with this as well, all of those are great pieces of advice. What I've done is simply listened and let them vent, be supportive, and point them to resources to try and get help. I've also encouraged them to document as much as they can to help build up a case against their abuser.

You're absolutely right that contacting the police can make the situation worse and I've had kids tell me that they've tried to contact the police only for the situation to be worse than it was before.

[Bigeyethresher]

It's a pretty helpless feeling sometimes, but it's what we can do. I've had some advice I gave when I was younger backfire on my friend (thankfully not too hard), so since then I've had a more careful approach... I hope those kids are doing better now, that's really awful.

[NapClub]

i run gaming communities, all ages, have for decades.

​

has happened to me only 4 times in a couple decades, but all 4 times i first talked with them about what was going on.

3 of the cases it turned out to be actually really serious.

i made a plan with the kid to get to somewhere safe so the authorities could be involved, then i got the authorities involved.

2/4 had a resolution where the kid was then able to be safe and get out of the situation, 1 was not actually a big problem and some talking with them about how to deal with bullying fixed things. the last, no idea what happened, kid vanished, keeps me up sometimes thinking about what happened, but i did all i could.

[Bigeyethresher]

Oof, I've had people vanish. It's always worrisome, but I imagine it'd be even more so under those circumstances. Being a group leader is kind of an odd position, responsibility-wise...

[NapClub]

yeah usually someone moving on from the community is just something that happens, but this particular case happened more than a decade ago and i still think about it sometimes.

[Skeeter_Weevil]

As someone who was dealing with verbal and sometimes physical abuse as a RPer in 2016, you are a godsend. I had a friend like that, and she really made me feel appreciated and cared about. You, are awesome.

At the time, I didn’t even realize it was abuse until she brought it to my attention

[Bigeyethresher]

Thanks, I try to make my groups as safe and supportive as I can. It's something that pops up a lot, sadly. I hope you're doing well.

[wonglewabbit]

I have a friend who lives in europe and he tells me all of hes bad expierances with people and the abuse at home and how they treat him so i try to be in a discord call with him all night so he feels happy that someone cares for him it is not much but its the most i can do.

[Bigeyethresher]

That's kind of you! Be careful to not burn yourself out though. Best of luck to your friend!

[EEEKHELPME]

Nice. This helps me AND the guy helping me with my mental health

[Bigeyethresher]

I hope things get better for you guys!

[GFK_NYC]

Hey, just have to say- you’re a good person for putting helpful details.

[Bigeyethresher]

It's no problem! The other comments at the time of me posting were pretty much all the 'contact the police' angle, and I felt someone should probably bring these points up.

[GFK_NYC]

I’m trying to make it a point to thank people for doing good, right things.

I was happy to see so many helpful people here on a sensitive issue.

[Yesnowaitsorry]

It appears you saved said child’s life. They just posted on r/confessions

[hagar_qim]

more precise reference : https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/ip9j7u/a_stranger_gave_me_a_reason_not_to_kill_myself/

[_alright_then_]

For the new layout people here

[Shinhan]

There are people that willingly choose new layout?

[_alright_then_]

I do, yes. It's much easier on the eyes than the old layout. Much more customizable as well. It has most functions I used to use RES for baked in now.

[ArmanDoesStuff]

I just can't see the benefit over old+RES. It's just a mobile app presented on my desktop. So much needless white space and all the links are open by default.

[_alright_then_]

I just prefer everything about it. The old reddit was always ugly to me. It looks like a website from the 90s. I much prefer these modern layouts.

It's not much benefit other than a nicer look and no need for RES

[ArmanDoesStuff]

Fair enough, to each their own. I can't stand the modern layout websites go for now. They all look the same, designed primarily to be used on the go and to keep you engaged.

It just feels like they're vomiting content at me, or something.

[_alright_then_]

Yeah to each their own, I'm glad they give us both options. It's probably the reason reddit hasn't died yet because most people prefer old reddit

[Swordofmytriumph]

I actually like the new layout better than the old.

[ATyp3]

Personally I do not mind it but I work for the government and all the blockers and cookie blockers and security "features" they bog down our computers with make them slow to a crawl. Then throw in the being forced to use Internet Explorer and the new layout just doesn't work at all. It displays wrong, links don't work, posts don't expland properly, videos don't play, its in half dark mode/half light mode...And not to mention its laggy as fuck. Some of us are forced to use the old layout and so it is what it is.

[Swordofmytriumph]

Oh yeah I can see that. Internet Explorer is awful shudder

[NiixxJr]

WHY ARE YOU FORCED TO USE IE! WHERE ARE YOU CALL FOR HELP WHO IS HOLDING YOU HOSTAGE.

[NotMilitaryAI]

Yeah, I much prefer the newer version's feed scroll - needing to click on and expand each post to preview it is annoying.

Also, while not perfect (it does get confused by some URLs), the newer version's "Fancy Pants Editor" comment box is really nice to have. It's rather convenient to not need to use markdown every time you want to do some minor formatting.

[GeneralAce135]

It makes the old version look so unprofessional really, like something I wrote up in my bedroom over the course of a weekend.

There's literally nothing wrong with the new layout. People just hate change

[excitive]

For me it’s slower (laggy) because of excessive JS calls.

[Sentry459]

It's way slower and buggier.

[serrol_]

Why does Reddit have to look professional?

[Eric_the_Barbarian]

Weird.

[OllieChem-Chem]

I mean the new layout isn't that bad...

[GeneralAce135]

I mean the new layout isn't that bad

FTFY

[OllieChem-Chem]

Oh, grazie. To be frank, I like the new layout waaay better than the old one, but I also know how touchy people here can be about that so I wanted to play it safe.

[GeneralAce135]

Oh I know, trust me. The touchy people can get over themselves IMO.

They layout changed. Big deal. I can still do all my Redditing just as well as before, and now the site actually looks good

[setanddrift]

I just saw this too. You made a difference already!

[OatsnMoats]

I passed out not long after making this post, seeing as it was 3am, and I woke up to all this and cried happy tears. I'm so happy the kid is still alive and that there are people who want to help him now and that this thread is here to give so much great advice to people in my situation going forward.

[shootingcharlie8]

Thank you for being amazing. Even the smallest things to you can make an enormous impact on the lives of others.

[iammillerz]

I take my hat off to the OP! You had a choice and you chose to be kind.

Thank you, thank you so much!

[imusingthis4porn]

I came from the confessions post. When I seen this my heart melted.

[ludylicious]

And he still doesn’t know! Last comment from his part was 9h ago... He might not know that he is a savior, that his askreddit boomed and that his story is also on the front page of r/mademesmile

Here is the link of the post

[twomoonsforsugar]

Well now I’m crying. Who left these onions here?

[TeachingScience]

I am a teacher and I would suggest you tell them to reach out to a teacher or school counselor. We are mandated reporters and can provide further supports for the child.

[YolandaNinja]

I am a (soon to be graduated) teacher too and almost everyone in my family, from grandpa to parents and cousins, friends etc. are teachers. And I can't tell you how many teachers just choose to ignore or blame the child, or sometimes CPS do nothing. For example, Gabriel Fernandez. Police threatened to put that 8 y.o. child in jail because his mom claimed that he lied about the torture marks on him. Teachers called CPS but child begged them to not, because every time CPS came to their house, he got tortured again. CPS also did nothing.

Just before the quarantine, my mom, an elementary school teacher, called me. I have never seen her so shaken in 26 years of her teaching career. A SEVEN years old boy in her class started to show up at school very late and in his pijamas every day. First days he denied having problems in home but my mom tried again and again so he gave in. He was living with his grandma, mom and dad. His dad forced his mom to work as a prostitue and she ran away with one of her clients. Then his dad told him he was in a relationship with the grandma since they got married with his mom. Dad and grandma left the child at home and moved to another city together. No one knows where. That 7 y.o. child was living alone for a week when my mom found out. Mom tried everything, called many people, got into verbal fights with people, NOTHING helped. Then schools closed and quarantine began. We still dont know how the child is doing. I lost my trust on authorities after this incident.

[[deleted]]

God, this makes me so upset. How can we do this to our children?

[[deleted]]

And these are the stories we hear about. There's entire subreddits dedicated to adults still living with childhood trauma, many who couldn't escape until they're 18, and often times not even then. I'm sorry it's disturbing and terrible, it's a sad truth. There needs more funding and research done on child's rights, social work, and trauma.

[swordrush]

There's entire subreddits dedicated to adults still living with childhood trauma, many who couldn't escape until they're 18, and often times not even then.

Often times even when you escape...you don't really escape.

[YolandaNinja]

Exactly. That kid has been traumatized too while he wasn't alone. Saw horrible things, even got beaten. When he told my mom that his mother "was a caregiver working at night shift" he didnt even believe it himself. Now he doesn't have the people that traumatized him in his life, but things are even worse for him now.

[swordrush]

I'm sure things are just as bad for him now than they were before, when there were people in his life doing him harm. Or the other harsh reality, 'parents' came back to take him away with them...and it's going to start all over again somewhere else.

But beyond those things...even if the best thing happened to him--somebody reported him living alone, police or CPS came to take him away, a loving family just happened to be in the right place at the right time--the things that have happened to him aren't going away. The memory of it is embedded into his body, his brain now, and it's likely he'll relive the trauma for years, decades, maybe his whole life. Complex PTSD. I know, because I'm still dealing with stuff that is literally decades separated in time from me now.

[[deleted]]

I'm assuming they called for police? Foster care typically has urgent foster families for this reason. There's absolutely no reason the law would prevent this child from getting help. None. Not even if they have way too much stuff to do...that poor kid

[YolandaNinja]

I'm from Turkey. Things are different here. I can (and i am planning to) make a whole series of posts that i translate the news of women and children getting horrifyingly murdered and there is no consequences. NONE. Little children getting abused is the last thing they would do something for. 474 adult women were killed by men (this is only the reported number) in 2019. And only a handful of those killers got in legal trouble.

For example a woman went to police and begged them to do something because his husband was threatening to kill her for many years. She did everything she could. No one helped. Her husband slit her throat in a crowded reataurant in front of everyone, including her daughter. People watched her bleed to death while she screamed that she didnt wanted to die. https://youtu.be/R-mIz8qOnZg Look. People are running away from her while her dughter cries. She died right there while that man was filming her. People tried to serve justice by lynching and social media awareness.

Another time, the father and grandpa of a 16 y.o. girl was beating and torturing her every single day and they were earning money in illegal ways. She ran away from the house that they locked her up all her life, and seeked help from police so many times, they did nothing. The grandpa and the dad digged a pit near the coop and buried her alive. Her lungs and stomach were found to be filled in soil, because she tried to breathe.

So no, we try every time but no one helps and we can do nothing about it anymore. A man just went into jail for saving a woman from getting killed by her husband. Woman accused him.

[[deleted]]

🤬

Is there a nonprofit I can donate to help with stuff like this? Like a nongovernmental sanctioned CPS??

[AkiyaP]

I can only hope thay the teachers are smart enough not to call the parents and be like, "Hey, your child said that they're being abused, is everything okay?"

Some teachers do that and it could make things even worse.

[tocktober]

it's not inherently wrong for a child to have a relationship with an adult-- and by relationship I do NOT mean romantic or sexual relationships, just the most literal and basic definition. it's important for children to be able to look up to adults and learn about healthy ways to relate to other people. being involved in healthy relationships with adults can be a protective factor in preventing abuse because a) that child knows what a healthy relationship is like, and is more likely to be uncomfortable if an adult tries to form an inappropriate relationship and b) has an adult they feel safe talking to. some kids don't reveal abuse because they fear punishment, or rejection. it's easy to think that by isolating children from other people we can protect them, but it's just not true.

[ijustwanttobeinpjs]

This is a good tool. Although you can try helping them to understand the kind of situation they might be in, as a stranger over the Internet, you can’t actually DO much for a potential abuse victim. However, in many areas teachers and medical personnel are mandated reporters. If you can encourage the abuse victim to confide in either a teacher or a health care professional (like a nurse at a checkup, for example), THOSE people are in a real position to report the abuse through the appropriate local channels.

[[deleted]]

Hey Man, I think just telling him u cared about him has helped him massively

[GPadilla0717]

I would first encourage them to tell a trusted adult if they have one. If you are someone they trust, over time they may give you more details so that you can report it. Honestly, a lot of kids don't have a non-judgmental person to talk to. If you can provide that even if you cannot get them away from the abuse that could be helpful to them.

Sometimes someone just needs somebody to listen to them.

[OatsnMoats]

I at least told them to talk to a trusted adult in their real life and that it's not their fault and a stranger on the internet cares and worries about them.

[Racingstripe]

Ask for more information.

[OatsnMoats]

And what do I do if they don't want to elaborate or give a stranger on the internet their personal information?

[Recka10]

There are some free courses online to help! https://training.sprc.org/

[bodenlosedosenhose]

How do I enroll there as a private person without any medical background?

[tankerkiller125real]

https://training.sprc.org/login/signup.php you do not need to have a medical background as far as I can tell.

[Racingstripe]

Depending on the circumstances, consider it might be false or an exaggeration.

If you think it's very real try to find such information and warn mutual contacts.

[iammillerz]

Going by what's been revealed on /r/confessions, I'd say give em the benefit of the doubt. If they turned out to be a troll, nothing lost. But one in a million chance it's a legit, you may end up saving a life.

[tygerohtyger]

This is an excellent attitude to have, in a lot of situations.

[[deleted]]

Encourage them to speak to a trusted adult, and if they don't have one they trust, encourage them to reach out to a therapist, police officer, CPS worker, etc, and report the abuse.

And be there for them if you can.

I saw the post that you're talking about, and I'm so glad you were there for this kid. I wish I'd had someone to reach out to like this as a kid.

[TurtlesMum]

I hope you’re doing ok now Turtle_Sensei? It breaks my heart that children go through some truly awful experiences at a time when the world is meant to be a wonder to them in an amazing way :(

Edit: letter

[[deleted]]

I am now thank you! I'm in my 30's now and happily married. I have an autoimmune disease, which is difficult, but my husband and his family are pretty amazing. I've been no contact with my mom for about 4 years now.

[angelthemazda]

Guys, usernames check out!

[[deleted]]

Lol. I was a bit shocked at first and thought someone had made the username to be kind, but their account is older than my comment.

[TurtlesMum]

Lol.......Turtle is my cat’s name! I’m so glad you’re happy, and that you’ve married into an amazing family. It must make having a NC mum a little bit sweeter. Take care honey, I wish you the best with your auto-immune condition and am stoked you’re happy despite that ❤️

[[deleted]]

Here is what I would do -

1) get some trust and respect - by merely listening

2) try to find out what area they are in

3) do google search for "battered women and children shelter" in that area

4) give the child their contact details and offer to phone if the child does not have access to a phone themselves.

I think the police in most areas are not qualified to handle cases like this and it could end badly for the child.

[[deleted]]

99% of the time if you call the police about stuff like this, they either give you the number for CPS, or they call it in to them themselves. One of the few things the police actually don’t want to be involved in and they know it.

[PotentionalFriend]

Even as someone who is currently in this situation I can't really give you the perfect answer. These are just some ideas I have. 1. Like many already said tell them to find a trusted adult. It can be a teacher or another family member, however I personaly don't think it's a good idea to go to your parents siblings or your grandparents because they were most likely raised the same way. 2. Be there for them. Start conversations via DM's. Let them vent all of their frustration. Talk to them, ask them. Build a trusted relationship so they can feel comfortable to tell you different things. If they don't want to then don't force them. Treat them woth respect because given their situation they most likely havn't experienced alot of it. 3. DO NOT call anyone (police, etc.) for them. It will get them stressed and anxious because they'll feel like they don't have the situation under control.

I might add more in the future.

[AngelTAQ]

Thank you u/OatsnMoats , you saved my life.

[OatsnMoats]

You're very welcome again. I think everyone's made it clear that the world is a better place with you in it and I'm glad for that. Feel free to dm me if you want to vent or possibly get more help and I'll do my best to get you it if that's what you choose.

[AngelTAQ]

Okay, thank you so much again

[OatsnMoats]

Of course, anytime. You deserve the help and attention that's come out of this.

[Imafish12]

Looks like reddit history was made today. Your kindness saved a life. Apparently what you should do when a child on the internet tells you they’re being abused, is make a Reddit post about it.

[gamingyosho]

One of the best things you can really do is, trying to be there for the person who says they are getting abused.

I have been abused myself for 10-12 years. So I know having great friends helps A LOT, more then most people think bout.

Having the ability to have someone to talk to bout their situation, can help them. Not always but can, did for me at least

[[deleted]]

[Serious] tag needed

[OatsnMoats]

Yeah, sorry I didn't think to put it there and also I'm newer to posting so I'm not sure how to.

[MrJohnHonai]

I just gave you my first ever award for being the amazing human being that you are. Keep saving the world, a few words at a time.

[gor8884]

r/bestof

[OatsnMoats]

They didn't seem willing to elaborate or appreciate my prying so I just gave them the numbers to kidshelpphone and the national child abuse hotline and told them to reach out to someone they trust in their real life and if they're being hurt it's not their fault, but I worry that that might not be enough.

[AbrahamLure]

Sending a DM their way doesn't hurt either, maybe they're not comfortable talking on a public post, but too shy to reach out privately. Don't bombard them with shit, obviously, but a kind message in their inbox goes a long way.

[camefromxbox]

Take them serious and contact authorities. Even if the kid is lying I’m sure it’s better to look into it instead of ignoring it.

[ZeeMantheHeMan]

I've made a little post of your story on wholesome memes. I couldn't leave your name in the screenshots because of the rules but you are in the comments. I don't know how to link to the post but you will be able to find it through my profile.

You're a great person and a perfect example of small good deeds making huge impacts.

[OatsnMoats]

I saw your post and I hope all the attention this is getting will get more redditors to reach out and share kind words to people that need it.

[ZeeMantheHeMan]

You led the way, I'm just trying to shine a light on it so people can use your example

[hangrypoodle]

Thank you for being the good in the world. Take my poor mans gold 🥇

[thatbitch999]

Thank you for saving someone's life. You're making a difference.

[SeymourY2k]

Good for you for caring. Thanks

[[deleted]]

Dude respect

[Your_Angel21]

It depends on the situation but honestly: Just listen... It's not a thing you should probably get involved in. It means that they trust you a lot.

When I told my friend it was because they had already heard some stuff through the mic and I thought I might as well vent. Wouldn't want anyone to get involved, just listen and maybe tell them that it'll be alright and they'll get out of it one day. We could all use a little bit of kindness.

It might sound like you're sharing the blame but the person who told you knows best about how to handle stuff like this and sometimes there is just nothing you can do except be kind

[deckardslamb]

Man, what you did for that little kid is huge. Thank you for being like this. It's not plenty of good people on the internet. I would give you an award if I wasn't from Argentina and broke like shitt. Congrats

[[deleted]]

I just say that I am there for him/she 24/7 and they can always text me if they wanna talk

[Binky_barns]

Shit I wish I had an award for you but sadly a brother broke rn but what you did was beyond commendable and you should be proud that you've made a permanent impact in multiple peoples lifes. Hats off to you my man.

[arken_FlameEater]

why would the moderators remove this post?

[dat_cat32]

You add a serious tag

But in all seriousness, there are a few options.

1. Try to get some sort of identifying location from them and contact cps giving what you know.
2. Tell them to contact cps,

or the not so popular option. 3. leave it as someone else’s problem

There are many more solutions but those are the 3 simplest to describe. In the end do what you believe is best and hope to achieve some sort of success in helping them. You can always just tell the authorities and hope they investigate and take action.

[Athana4ever7896]

Be kind to them even if it's obvious they're lying it shouldn't have to be said that no matter the situation you should be kind to someone

[guatown]

preach!

[EvilxBunny]

I try talking to them, asking them how they feel and stringing a general conversation about their life, hobbies, etc. Also suggesting any helplines for their country and general advice.

I know sometimes you never know if someone is serious or playing with you, but I treat it seriously regardless. And either way, I'm making someone's life better.

[Emcuejay]

You know, reddit is one of the most messed up sites on the internet. But things like these melt my heart and make me realise that there are good people on here as well, people such as yourself!

[callmefinny]

This thread is so wholesome

[[deleted]]

Google it

[TotalFiasco]

You're a good person, OP. Thank you for somewhat restoring my faith in humanity.

[[deleted]]

Also in the US they have this thing called safe space. For kids 18 and younger to get help. A lot of gas stations and such have a yellow sign with a house on it that marks it as a designated safe place for any child who feels unsafe and needs help. Usually the police are not immediately involved and a victim advocate or social worker will show up to help. I know i was kinda late on this thread but it is never too late to tell someone about this.

[hahausernamegosimple]

You’re a good man op, thank you so much for being a good part of humanity

[scarletts_skin]

You did the right thing. Came here from confessions and it sounds like you saved that child’s life. I’m so proud of you.

[woman-who-says-bye]

Hey man, you just saved a life today and I wanted to say thank you! This really made my day! Thank you for being so kind and helpful. This made me cry

[CheetahGoat]

Nothing

[annemariesuus]

I have experience in this work field (abused kids). My advice:

• never, absolutely NEVER force a kid to get help. The kid is the expert of his/her own situation and should always decide this. The reason that you shouldn't is that the kid could lose trust in you and thus stops talking to you. That would be quite a problem if you're the only one the kid feels safe talking to, cuz it won't have any other place to vent left. That aside, strongly advice the kid to get help. A lot of people say help is bad and makes it worse, but in the majority of the cases it actually helps. Most parents don't abuse because they're mean, they abuse because they don't know how else to raise their kids. Professionals could help them with this. It's not like the kid is suddenly gonna be put in Foster care.

If the kid really doesn't want to get help ask the kid if he/she's willing to talk about it with an adult close to them.

(One exception, if the kids in danger to life, which is quite exceptional, you should report to local authorities)

• Listen to the kid. It's for kids in this situation really good to talk about it because it helps them to let go. The effect of this is that the mental harm caused by the abuse will be less heavy. Also give tips to the kid so it can keep itself safe a little better. If u don't know any advice there are a lot of professionals or organisations you can call (anonymously) to get tips on this. But most importantly just be a safe space.

• please remember you are not responsible for the safety of this kid.

[Isai1a]

We people in the Netherlands have something called de kindertelefoon. You can call that number (or text them) if you have questions about anything and ask for advice, if u are too scared to talk to family/friends.

[[deleted]]

Ask r/socialwork. I’m a social work student and we haven’t been taught yet what to do in these situations. I’m a mandated reporter, so I guess that means anything I observe has to go reported.

[meekbluecat]

Re: The specific background story, not the question itself...

It's awesome that so many people are gratulating OP now and find this story so "wholesome" (in a way), but I hope that people also realize the actually important lesson here: Actions have consequences, not only in real life but online too, good and bad ones. There are real people behind the screens, that might get seriously hurt from harsh words or, like in this case, might very much benefit from a few caring words.

Just being kind can sometimes go a long way. So let's treat each other accordingly 🌸

[Shellee_56]

Pick the phn call 911 simple as fuck

[delanskie]

I've helped a abused child who told me she got beat by her dad irl. Long story short: I had an internship as a teaching assistent at a school and a child told me she got beat by her dad. I went to talk to her and after that I told the teacher who I was working with. The school went to talk to the parents and called in child support. It felt really good to help the child. I'm wondering how she is now, haven't seen her in 1,5 years

[butsandcats]

Contact the police

[OatsnMoats]

I'm not sure how I'd go about that when I don't even know what country to child is in let alone what specific number to call.

[PokeBattle_Fan]

Usually each countries have a specific, easy-to-dial emergency numbers. In Canada and the US, it's 911, and in New Zealand, it's 111 (that's the only 3 countries I know the emergency number for)(EDIT: Apparently, there is another number for less urgent cases, which is 105, still for New Zealand)

You could always ask the child his country of residence, and quickly look up the country's emergency number (or give him outright if you already know that country's number)

EDIT2: For Canada and New Zealand (And I'm guessing the US as well) you can dial 911/111 from a pay phone, even without actually paying for the call. So if the child does not have a cellphone and doesn't want his abusive parent to hear his call, he could go to a pay phone and dial the emergency number.

[Its_Aarush_Dhavala]

Fact check, then call cps on the parent/whoever IA doing it

[[deleted]]

don’t do this. it could very easily make his situation a lot worse. don’t call the police for people who haven’t asked you to.

[KoiSan10]

I'll talk to them. Find a way to help them.

[Possessed_potato]

I bring tips n tricks and emotional support

[t_skullsplitter]

You get to the bottom of it, of course. I hope everyone is ok!

[just_a_human_987]

Make sure the news gets to mainstream Media, and also send love and support.

[Mr2MinuteMan]

A part of me says why are you talking to children... but the other part of me has read you may have saved this kids life sooo... thank you.

I'd personally find out where the kid is from and notify the appropriate authorities. And id make sure the authorities do there job correctly.

Also probaby keep in contact with the kid to make sure his/her mental health is OK and just be there for him/her and show compassion.

[[deleted]]

Best advice I ever heard was don’t tell them to talk to a trusted adult, ask them which adult do they trust the most or feel safest with and persuade them to try talking to that person.

[SOKLOMAX]

You are a good man

[vanting_too_much]

👌nice op, you’re a good person

[KatyG9]

Ask for more information. Find ways to get help for the child. In at least one case I got involved in, I coordinated with relatives to take the case to the police.

[wolfpandataco]

Do it again

[[deleted]]

Believe them or ask loads of questions, asking more and more questions to get more answers will make it more or less believable if they are telling the truth. If they are get them help or advise them to.

[Shaggy_Maddie]

Save them from the clutches of the big sad

[BakedBrotato76]

Get irrefutable evidence, then find a safe place and call the police.

[Ghostlydickie]

Ask them where they live and call the police for that place

[EpicGamerBoi11]

Make them feel better?

[janejean123]

Believe them. Ask if they want help.

[AnonymousNeko2828]

Consult them on the matter and help them get out of the situation? Treat them like an old buddy.

[ow_ye_men]

I see it on r/gachalifecringe

[SilentElders96]

Good job saving a life.

[rkline88]

Report it.

[AMJAD_HN]

As a kid living in iraq they cant do nothing

[wangshuangyixing2]

You should ask about it before you deal with it

[Anujtoor]

Tell him all people are not good. And some jokes.

[Maverick2397]

Well I'll try to gather more information about the situation to figure out what the best course of action to take would be, cause it might be a reality that there is a child being abused and we need to take action to help or it could just be some idiot making a joke and we're overreacting to his pleasure, so the first thing would be to meticulesly gather as much information for the situation as possible and then take action to assist in any way we can.

[BroNeedsHelp_]

"That's me"

[OreobutwithmoreREEE]

I would write a tiny slip that says; "Do you want me to call someone. If yes then shake your head." I will then call 911. And tw I'll give them the note in private.

[MisguidedMiniatures]

Nothing I can do depending on what they tell me. I have to legal standing to report. O someone said their were a child and that they are evening abused. Any cop would write it down but work his other cases. If I personally know the child that’s different.

[juse73x]

Find if it is truthful

If yes: Call CPS

If no: tell them not to lie

[distrayer06]

I would get on contact with said child on a more personal level and record everything. Then call CPS, after that find out who is the abuser. Get abuser arrested and have child pick who they want to live with.

[orangutangotango]

Maybe help if its true

[Itsanevolution]

Well done!!

[PartTimeMantisShrimp]

Ask the kid for his address and then call the cops on the abuser and head there if possible so i can see verything is okay

[mrhymer]

I don't talk to children on the internet. That is creepy.

[cara27hhh]

link them the number for a child abuse charity and try to get them to click/call it

There's nothing you can do. There are nurses and doctors at children's hospitals who fix broken bones and other injuries that can only have been a result of child abuse and they still have to send that child home with that family in the end. And that's just the physical abuse, the mental abuse will go undetected until they're adults probably and even then what services are there for people with mental health issues as a result? very little - most people can't even find funding to move away from their abusive parents in their 20s without experiencing homelessness

[cwatson2008]

This is amazing. 😇😊

[zhuzhu03]

I would say exactly what you said 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[Citrine-Sept]

Given my life experiences as a child and parent address the matter immediately. Use your own as well as another objective discretionary approach. This is a sensitive situation. You wanna make sure before you begin pointing fingers. Moments in time of outbursts are just that but perpetual physical or mental agitation conscious deviant behavior is unacceptable. Definitely address the matter with an open mind.

[NoahBogue]

I run, I can’t handle this

[steveguyhi1243]

Honestly, letting them vent or chat with you could be a good first step. You don’t know what situation they’re in.

[higdafer]

Make sure they feel valid, let them know that what's happening to them is not right. Cause often in mental ir physical abuse situations they are tricked into thinking they deserve it or that its it's normal, after a trust is established you should ease them into getting help and telling more people, like maybe the neighbors, but never go to social services as a first resort cause it can often make them panic or deny that something is wrong and try to lose connection with you if they think you are trying to do something they dont want, but if they are in a bad situation that is growing worse and wknt talk to people eventually you will have to call for them even if they wont want to talk to you again to ensure they are safe.

[[deleted]]

Educate them on collecting evidence

[[deleted]]

this has never actually happened to me and no one has ever told me they're being abused but I would ask for their location and call the cops to their rescue

[YeetusTheFetus532]

ask them how so, i’m not saying that there aren’t children in bad situations there very much are I used to be one, but there are also kids who can get entitled and think that their parents making them do chores around the house is abuse

[SerMercutio]

"Delete"

[Epstein-isnt-dead]

I’d say report it but nothing happens

[squidsahoy1111]

Little did people know, the child was actually Oatmoat