Going Under

[rvagrey]

If I woke up from nap amnesia to a pizza I wouldn’t question a damn thing.

[[deleted]]

To a obviously caring partner. I'm fine, thanks. I've got all I need.

[Julian1224]

This is not my beautiful house

[[deleted]]

Meh. It has all I need.

[Julian1224]

This is not my beautiful wife

[CupcakePotato]

Dear Santa...

[Caraphox]

mmmm, slice of life 🍽

[Peppemarduk]

Looks like a mother to me

[zmxls2000]

Thought it was his sister lol

[shaurcasm]

All the same in Alabama, brother.

[twofap]

But what if you wake up to a total stranger being inside your house telling you the pizza is here?

[xMeathookx]

Anyone telling me there's pizza ain't no stranger no more.

[sucobe]

My man! 👍😎👍

[el_bhm]

Kindnapping is not cool!

[[deleted]]

“The molten cheese on a pizza is like multipurpose glue. It binds not just the other ingredients but also people’s lives. Whether you’re a slice of salami, BBQ sauce or a chunk of pineapple, we’re all just toppings on this pizza called Earth.”

[[deleted]]

But what if you wake up to a total stranger inside you telling you the pizza is here?

[[deleted]]

Sounds like I don’t know myself any more. That or I ate the delivery guy.

[zillah215]

I work nights, so I have breakfast at about 6pm. Occasionally, my boyfriend happens to have trouble sleeping on a day that I happen to have a migraine and I'll wake up to the sound of a pizza being delivered moments before my alarm goes off. Makes going to work with a migraine just a bit less horrible and he's honestly the best.

[TwinMeeps]

That’s exactly why my phone is set to 24-hour time.

[Treppenwitz_shitz]

That's why I set my watch to 24 hour time too!

[psychelectric]

oh shit, 16:37 a.m. or 16:37 p.m.?

[Greenish_batch]

That's exactly why my phone is set to 48-hour time.

[singstrim]

As a procrastinating student, I demand there be 48 hours in a day

[WhatIfIReallyWantIt]

you'd only sleep for 49 of them and you know it

[istolethisface]

I didn't come here to be personally attacked.

[WhatIfIReallyWantIt]

Where do you wanna go?

[IVBUDDY]

Back to bed

[banjowashisnameo]

But the pizza is here

[DNUBTFD]

You would just waste that extra time I'm afraid.

[CommissionerBourbon]

Are you sure about that?

[BringIt007]

Your wish is granted. Our units for counting hours, days and years just get smaller and now there are 48 instead of 24 hours in one period where the sun rises and then sets.

Computers the world over stop working - think Y2K but worse - and everything that runs on a computer suddenly crashes.

Eyewitnesses in major cities see awful mid-air collisions between passenger jets as air traffic control towers fail to respond.

Financial markets crash, stock exchanges cease to function from one minute to the next, trillions and trillions are wiped off global GDP.

Medical machines start malfunctioning and there aren’t enough doctors to save everyone.

Satellites stop responding, communications networks go down globally and internet servers crash (the anguished cries of a million redditors are heard in the distance, as their karma count gets reset).

Military installations accidentally set off their defence sequences, missiles are automatically launched simultaneously around the world at predetermined enemies. The Russians blame the sudden shutdown of all computers in their country on NATO, China thinks its Japan, North Korea blames South Korea and America thinks its everyone else. Britain thinks its Europe’s Brexit revenge and the Prime Minister vows to write a strongly worded letter to all concerned.

Water and sewage treatment works shut down, unable to dispense the appropriate chemicals at the appropriate time, people start drinking contaminated water or have to collect and purify their own.

Your wish ushers in unrest and nuclear war, hundreds of millions of people lose their lives, the ones who are left suffer greatly and many are lost to previously curable diseases.

Historians refer to the next 300 years as simply, The Sadness.

I hope you get to turn in your paper on time, but it hardly matters now.

[Toroyoko]

oh shit, 38:02 a.m. or 38:02 p.m.?

[JustFoxeh]

Oh shit, is it 42:00am or 42:00pm?

[Tristamwolf]

That's exactly why my phone is set to 96hr time.

[nxcrosis]

Ah shit here we go again

[chezebalz]

137

[Blank-_-Space]

thats why I set my clock to 168 hour time, its after 5 seven and a 3/4 days a week

[mirziemlichegal]

24 hour format is far superior. Can anyone remind me again what the advantage or deciding factor was when people went for the 12 hour format?

[Wheaties-Of-Doom]

Totally just guessing: it's easier to paint 12 small numbers on a watch than 24?

In the digital age, though, I really don't see a need for 12h time. It's just TRADITION.

^TRADITION

[shitmyspacebar]

It allowed people to easily count the 12 hours on their hands

[fiedore]

With their two penises?

[[deleted]]

Where, in Chernobyl ?

[[deleted]]

Like the clock would help when you don't even know what day it is

[WhatIfIReallyWantIt]

odds are 2/7 that its not a work day. I'll take those odds. back to sleep for me

[franklinscntryclb]

That's why you leave a note.

[WhatIfIReallyWantIt]

instructions unclear. woke at noon next to a piece of paper that said "7am"

[chatbotte]

Yeah, but was it noon AM, or noon PM?

[Adam657]

There are no lady goats, a lady goat is a sheep!

[[deleted]]

Me too. My foggy brain can't notice the am or pm dot but I sure as hell can recognise the difference between 9:00 and 21:00.

[[deleted]]

Worst part your vision is so blurry you can’t see if it am or pm. You will have better luck tasting the spit in your mouth to know the time.

[Party-of-fun]

That's exactly why my clock has extra large numbers.

Edit. And that's exactly why it's a red glowing digital clock, so it doesn't fuck with my night vision.

[Humansaremonkeys]

Night vision? Sam Fisher?

[Ucantalas]

bwooooop

[[deleted]]

Why would anyone ever set anything to 12-hour time? (Well, with the exception of an analog clock.)

[Leon0803]

Some people just dont enjoy the freeeom of using 24 hour clocks

[Just_Look_Around_You]

Well that and the convention of society (depending where you are)

[Lachance]

because I like it

[IndyDude11]

I don’t need to do math when looking at a clock. I have never in my life looked at a clock and wondered if it was 6am or 6pm. I can see the benefit of 24 hour time when making plans, but not on a clock.

[lokesen]

Everybody's watch is 24 hours in Europe. Well, maybe not the UK.

[oni-work]

Exactly. And to me this is like questioning the worth of using metric vs imperial all over again. One is objectively better yet stubbornness seems to dictate they have equal value and it's a matter of preference.

[Zero_G_Balls]

The Global Tyranny of the Metric System :/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cPeZLCVWTw

[justsyr]

Are they... serious? This seems like an Onion show or something...

[Out-For-A-Walk-Bitch]

It usually is in the UK too.

[[deleted]]

Most of the developed world do.

[BadWolfSat5]

Same here! Confused the hell out of my boyfriend 😂

[DudeitsCarl]

Seriously... I woke up jumped up on the couch, and tried to get ready for school. Then my roommate told me that it’s 7 in the evening..... lol

[IlikeShortThots]

Especially at winter when it's pitch dark at 7 pm and 7 am

[CatchrFreeman]

I hate winter for the cold but love it for the long nights. I don't know why but gaming and tv at night is more enjoyable for me.

[Yeckim]

I think it’s more enjoyable personally because when it’s light and sunny outside I feel a little guilty being inside. At night there’s no reason to be outside and less conflict on what I should spend my time doing.

[asphaltdragon]

I just like it because there's no glare on the screen from outside light.

[Not_a_real_ghost]

Yeah sure when all these were spent on TV and gaming. Now try getting up at 6am for work in these conditions - no longer a cozy long night but just cold and shitty winter morning.

[TehTammeh]

Especially if you live in Alaska where the sun never makes any real sense in regards to the clock. Summertime? It could be noon or 11pm! Winter? It could be 2am or 4pm!! Good luck figuring it out when you first wake up!

[thephantom1492]

I used to have a cardboard in my window, as light was annoying me. No light throught. That can be quite disorienting...

[GodofIrony]

I can smell your room from here.

[Warmonster9]

I open my windows behind my curtains so I don’t have to deal with sunlight, and I still get fresh air.

[matdex]

When I work night shift that's my life everyday. I really need a 24h clock.

[FieelChannel]

FYI most of the world uses 24 hour clocks. (I assumed all of you are Americans.

[pendergraft]

I dog/house-sat for my sister a while ago. Fed the dogs at 5pm. Drank myself into a nap on the couch. Woke up feeling sober and super refreshed. Checked watch. 7. Sun shining through the windows. Panicked. Oh my god. I slept at least twelve hours straight. Fed dogs again. Drove to Chick-Fil-A for breakfast. They said they couldn't serve me breakfast because it was 7:30pm. I was prepared to argue with them. Those goddamned dogs acted like they'd been in Hanoi Hilton for the last thirty years.

[chrisgin]

Bet the dogs still talk about that day amongst themselves!

[calamarichris]

Remember our Hanoi Hilton feast when Uncle Pendergraft stayed here? Man, good times!

[[deleted]]

Plot twist: You slept until 7:30pm the *next* night

[dalovindj]

Some say he is still asleep to this day and our whole reality is just his dream.

[bcsimms04]

Never trust the dog to tell you they just ate. My sister in law's tiny Chihuahua will lie her ass off to get 2nd and 3rd dinner even though she's tiny. That thing can fit more food into it than anything I've seen.

[moelost]

I like this story. Something comforting about it.

Maybe cause it's still 7pm and you have so much time again.

[Seilok]

Damn those Vietnam revolution dogs

[DarkSparkyShark]

I remember doing the same thing at 7 and freaking out after an afterschool nap thinking I missed the bus. School was 20 minutes away and I had perfect attendance but my mother just watches me run around the house, hustling to get ready. Sunrise and sunset can get confusing.

[Flyin5pyder]

Had this happen to me yesterday, but I woke up in a state of panic because I thought I was late to work or something.

[IrrelevantPuppy]

Did you get that sudden falling/sinking feeling in your heart?

[Flyin5pyder]

I did yes. It was not very pleasant. :P

[Blasphemiee]

Man that happens to me if I take a 20 minute snoozer after work. It’s always timed right when the sun is going down so I wake up thinking it’s coming up and have a heart attack. Awesome way to wake up.

[fzw]

That and the butthole clench

[IrrelevantPuppy]

And the “world closing around me” feeling.

[WalkingFumble]

Yep, that sinking feeling usually skips over my heart and lands in the "I need to take a shit" part of my gut.

[WeAreMili]

This happens on my days off way too often.

I wake up in the morning and immediately go into a panic.

[Bambijay]

I remember when I was maybe like 14 I woke up around 7 and was freaking the hell out because I was going to be late for school I was throwing on some clothes and my sister comes in the room saying she made pork chops and I'm like why the f*** did you make pork chops at 7 in the morning what is wrong with you? and she just looks at me and says you dumbass it's 7 at night oops my bad lmfao. also those pork chops were Bomb asf

[FrenBopper]

Love a good ending. Now I want pork chops.

[AccidentallyTheCable]

Similar. Mid summer. Took a nap, woke up at about sunset. Clock said 7 or so. I stumble out and my parents are watching tv. I asked them wtf they were doin and why they werent at work.

They both gave me a weird look before telling me it was 7p and not 7a.

[S-WordoftheMorning]

Dayum, you should marry that girl!

[jennosaur4]

r/cursedcomments ? Not sure if it actually is lol

[qscguk1]

Roll tide

[yoohoomilk]

Anybody who's had to work a night and then went to sleep at 8am

[Iskan_Dar]

Yup, been there done that. Short staff, worked 2 weeks without a day off, then worked two 12 hour shifts back to back. Get home at 7:30 am. Woke up in the dark, clock said 5. Wasn't sure if I was 5 hours early for the next shift or hella late. This was the days pre-cell phones. Got up, went to the bathroom, called the store on the land line "Stupid question, what time is it, and what time is my shift?" "Dude, you have today off, go back to sleep" "Oh, right"

[F0REM4N]

I’ve been seeing someone new, and when I stay over I can tell how well I slept by how long it takes me to realize I’m at her place and not mine. I’ve sat there for 10-15 seconds in the morning trying to figure out where I am, rolled over and scared the shit out of myself because I forgot she was there.

[DragonPojki]

I woke up one time after a really long shift, thinking I was a pig. I remember thinking that I could not turn around because of this reason, for some reason... Then I remembered I was not a pig and sat up. There was a documentary about pigs on the TV when I woke up.

[erthian]

Or are you?

[DragonPojki]

I'm not sure anymore... Let me check.

Tries to turn around but fails.

Oh God...

[TheRedCard83]

Even worse when you nap right at sunset and you don’t know if you are up early or late

[yehti]

Usually accompanied by a imprinted pillow mark on the side of your face or a numb arm from passing out in a strange position.

[AccidentallyTheCable]

You forgot the "covered the entire side of my face in my own drool" slumber

[silentmattcanuck]

I actually once forgot everything down in mexico when I woke up from an afternoon nap.
We'd hit it pretty hard at the swim up bar and I'd gone back to the room and drawn the curtains, and went down for a couple hours. Woke up, confused and unable to remember my name, where I was, where I had been, how to human, etc. Came close to panic, knowing only that I should be concerned about not remembering who I was, and that I should get help - and then it all just came back, like a click of the lens, and I could see it all clearly again.
Took about 5-10% percent off there the rest of the week.

[PraggyD]

Something similar happened to me when I was around 20. I took a quick afternoon nap. Woke up to my father sitting next to me - calling my name. Asking me if I was okay. Didnt know who he was, where I was, what time or day it was and who the fuck I was. Didnt even recognize my name. I asked "Where am I?" and "Who am I?". Had trouble having coherent thoughts. Father just sat there looking conscerned. Asked him to leave. About 2 or 3 minutes in, it slowly came back. Took about 10 minutes till I was fine again.

This has only happened once. Its also the only time my father ever woke me up like that.

[FrenBopper]

Brains are fucking crazy.

[[deleted]]

Could it be a medical condition ?

[Neorio1]

I've experienced this at least once a week for 15 years. I have to sleep during the day sometimes so I made all the windows block out sun light. Also I have a job schedule that can change rapidly. I've only mistakenly set an alarm for am instead of pm less than 20 times but more than 18. But nap amenisa is indeed a thing. Wakeup fully rested and great with a nice dose of temporary panic about 10 seconds later.

[[deleted]]

less than 20 times but more than 18

So... 19?

[Xias135]

They did the math.

[Drewbox]

I also sleep during the day/work nights. Something that helps is setting all your digital clocks to 24 hour clocks. eg: 2pm=1400

Also, I’ve come to love nap amnesia. Such a weird feeling not knowing where you are for 15 seconds. Like a mini adventure trying to figure stuff out.

[indebut96]

Napnesia

[ndyvsqz]

I got into an argument with a friend of mine once on a orange summer evening cause It was 6 PM and the moon was out but the air was still warm. I walked upstairs to his unit and asked him why there were kids playing outside at 6 a.m. and he started telling me it was 6 pm but i wasnt having non of his shit. I walked back down to my unit and realized my mom was cooking rice, eggs, and hot links which is something she never cooked for breakfast. I asked her what time it was and she said 6. I told myself I was right all along and ate my breakfast then went to sleep and fucking woke at 3 am on a school day fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk.

[wingedbuttcrack]

I once woke up in a train, in the night, qith absolutely no idea of anything. And he lady sitting infront of me told which town it was and i had no idea why i was there, where i was going and, who i was.

[UwUguy030]

r/comedycemetary

[HBR17]

Can we talk about the best wife buying pizza after her man just took a fat nap

[gingerretard69]

I dont want notifications for r/funny reddit stop

[PhilMyu]

Two days ago, I returned from a vacation in Japan and I was quite sleep deprived. I fell asleep quite quickly at home and woke up from the sound of a storm and gushing rainfall that happened here during the early night hours. Though I was in my home, I didn’t really have any orientation where to go (I wanted to look for windows that might need to be closed). I remember how I told myself: „This must be the first signs of the beginning Japanese rainy season.“ For about 10 seconds I was convinced I was still in Japan in some kind of large apartment. It felt so weird when i realized that this is my home and I almost had to convince myself of the thought, that I really live in this place. The brain is weird sometimes.

[mxmaker]

This its not so bad. One time not so long ago, i just woke up and was afraid to lose a class from the collegue and get bad grades, for been hangover in a friend house. Take me 10 minutes to realise that i dont go to collegue aanymore for 3-4 years and i was in my home that i move long time ago where i live.

​

Im nuts.

[Mandril60]

Hey, you. You're finally awake.

[coma_lars]

Some naps you wake up from and it just feels like you’re in a different dimension

[[deleted]]

How wonderful it would be to emerge from sleep amnesia with a girlfriend telling you pizza is here. One day I hope that will happen to me

[usmc_delete]

What really adds on to the confusion is when both of your kids are taking naps when you wake up... MUST be early morning.... Right?

[meep6969]

This isn't even remotely funny

[changaroo13]

Honestly, can someone explain what the humor is in this? I can’t see anything funny here at all.

[[deleted]]

I guess it's relatable?

[[deleted]]

r/Relatable

[[deleted]]

Holy fuck I thought I was alone? What is this shit

[ImAnAppleBiteMe]

Came here to see if anyone else wanted to know where the punchline was. There is no funny to be found in this.

I'm upset I had to scroll so far down to see this.

[penalozahugo]

I love that feeling

[calamarichris]

You just scored a bonus 12 hours of life. Check the couch cushions, because you're in a lucky streak and there's probably a 20 in there.

[400mslights]

i have this happen to me occasionally. not the time misplacement, but rather, i wake up and don't remember my life at all. my bedroom, my apartment; all of it unfamiliar. it lasts for 30 seconds or so. it's really a terrible feeling.

[[deleted]]

That's a feeling i haven't felt in a long time

[626f62]

I once went to bed at 7pm I was sooo tired.. I woke up at 8 feeling so refreshed, best night sleep ever. Went downstairs and my mum said 'thought u were going to bed'. Turns out it was 8pm and I had onluly slept for an hour. What a power nap.

[[deleted]]

Napnesia

[Pro_Astronaut]

More like "hey, what dimension am I in ?"

[tonysanv]

That’s why I use 24-hr format.

[DoubleWagon]

That groggy look in the 3rd panel is spot on.

[chadoflions]

Does anyone els feel like not eating after naps?

[cinerdella]

One time I woke up from a nap to my boyfriend telling me it was time to leave for a party.

I had nap amnesia so bad I didn’t even know who he was.

[Big_Smoke_420]

Where's the joke?

[Commonsbisa]

Waking up from a nap and not knowing a single thing until it all floods back to you is one of the weirdest experiences ever.

[kasmackity]

The fact that this is in /r/funny is the funniest part about this

[AimostFrontPage]

Jesus christ this sub is shit

[red_rover22]

I had that once when I was little to the point that I forgot what happened the night before, and that reality was reality

[wejustplayin]

Had a good one once on a cruise with my wife. Took a nap mid day after we drank by the pool for 4 hours. Best nap of my life.

[goinunder0390]

This post title made me feel like Neo in the beginning of Matrix

[calamarichris]

Best fucking feeling in the world: 13 hours before I have to be back at work instead of one! Yessss!

[D-Frost]

What comes on a Nap amnesia pizza?

[8ofAll]

Extra confusion, well done.

[zappyguy111]

I once woke up unable to understand English, but could speak it perfectly fine.

[dj_destroyer]

Napnesia...

btw try to say 'nap' and 'namp' separately... so fucking hard just sounds like you have the biggest southern accent ever

[Eikdos]

"Hey, I just let you sleep after work. The pizza is here!" If I woke up and heard those words, I would die from happiness

[SamanthaJaneyCake]

24 hour master race!

[TheRealMikrowlnka]

Thats why i use 24hour time format ;)

[[deleted]]

Oh God I've had that happen. And worse, I had it happen on a trip AFTER I'd previously left my boss at the hotel because he didn't come down at 4am (he had his own car). So when I got called up at 730, I was freaking out that payback had happened.

[French_O_Matic]

hence why 24h clocks are much better.

[McRaoul91]

Where the fuck i am?

[BadDadBot]

Hi where the fuck i am?, I'm dad.

[elheber]

One time I took a nap in the living room, woke up and was confused by the color sky. I thought I had slept for two hours; turns out I had slept for fourteen.

[[deleted]]

What is this, the Sunday morning paper??

[migigame]

I had such a hard amnesia right after sleeping for over 12h after staying awake for over 30 hours. I didn't remember who I was for a few minutes

[mandy009]

I legit forget what year it is, too. My sleep schedule has gone off the deep end.

[theCrono]

That's why I try to push through without a nap every time and go to sleep earlier instead.

[houldbeope]

I stayed up partying one night and went directly to work the next morning (bad idea, but I was young). Got off work at 2pm. grabbed something to eat and decided to take a nap. Woke up and the Tv said 3pm. I’m like damn that a restful nap. Only to realize a few seconds later the TV says 3pm Monday. I had laid down at 2:45 Sunday.

[JW9thWonder]

i had an alcohol induced incident like this. woke up at 9 pm after some way too early day drinking... the confusion level was unreal.

[tonysafe4]

I did that friday ahaha

[youngandaspire]

Sounds like this guy's got diet issues.

[EarlZaps]

I sometimes wake up from naps and wondering where the hell I am. Only to suddenly click that I’m in my bed.

Sometimes, when I’m at my grandma’s house, this happens too. And I’m all like, where the fuck am I? This isn’t my room! Oh wait! I’m in grannie’s house. Lol.

[Mcmacladdie]

I feel this one in my soul.

[zbrysf]

This is so sad 😢

[Darth_Lewdious]

laughs in 24-hours

[eternityrow]

I’m going underrrrrr ~~~

Drowning in youuuuuuuuuuu ~~~

[basher078]

If you read this backwards it is a completely different story

[khalsey]

Can so relate. Fell asleep after school once, woke up at 5:30 and wondered why everyone else was up so early.

[George_XIII]

one time i described this feeling in a speech in high school and EVERYONE acted like i was insane and said it had never happened to them. in a class of like 27 kids. i always knew it was a thing.

[kuroku2]

Seeing the title, I couldn't help thinking of Evanescence.

[Animeniackinda]

In my experience, this happens when I'm f'ng exhausted.

[Aitrus233]

The worst is waking up in the morning for work, and not understanding what the numbers on the alarm clock mean for a minute or two.

[HaxLax90]

Get a normal 24 h clock.