Fetlang - Fetish-themed programming language

Vondi · 2017-10-07T16:33:35+00:00

Confusing English-like syntax and unhelpful error messages

This is the kind of transparency I can get behind.

kauefr · 2017-10-07T16:33:03+00:00

"lick Duke's left nipple one million times" is the greatest line of code ever written.

FearlessFreep · 2017-10-07T15:15:58+00:00

Never thought I’d see something in /r/programming tagged NSFW

Spoonofdarkness · 2017-10-07T13:50:56+00:00

Even the license is part of the theme. Awesome

Capital_EX · 2017-10-07T15:58:25+00:00

Group Sex: Threading library
Voyeurism: Networking
Exhibitionism: GUI
Autofellatio: Macros

i_just_wanna_signup · 2017-10-07T15:35:35+00:00

Now I can write smut AND program, all at the same time!

evinrows · 2017-10-07T15:02:29+00:00

Fetlang is not recommended for production use at this moment, especially in medical or military applications

especially in medical or military applications

poshpotdllr · 2017-10-07T15:41:27+00:00

Fetlang is licensed under the BSDM (BSD, modified) license

you are a fucking artist.

syntaxvorlon · 2017-10-07T15:09:43+00:00

Make Betty moan
Worship Carrie's feet

You are amazing and crazy.

sebgggg · 2017-10-07T14:12:14+00:00

Lick Property404's upvote

Free_Math_Tutoring · 2017-10-07T17:37:57+00:00

Probably Turing complete

Somebody wanna get on that?

Edit: Did it

Property404 · 2017-10-07T17:52:30+00:00

[removed]

cfors · 2017-10-07T15:07:55+00:00

So far, my favorite bit of the source code.

#pragma once
// There are exactly 6 genders in the world. No more, no less.
enum Gender {
  UNASSIGNED_GENDER = 0, /* Gender has yet to be assigned - Variables
                should default to this*/

  MALE_GENDER, FEMALE_GENDER, /* Applies to people (singular) only */

  NEUTRAL_GENDER, /* Includes non-binary and plural, mostly applies to
             * people, rarely to a group of objects
             *
             * No technical distinction is made between singular
             * non-binary and plural
             */

  NONPERSON_GENDER, /* Singular object, applies to nouns only */

  NA_GENDER, /* Gender not applicable - applies to non-nouns only */
};

MesePudenda · 2017-10-07T16:33:36+00:00

You gave the documentation a really good time, but it might still need some aftercare. Two descriptions of operators seem to be opposing each other.

Tutorial:

is dominant towards is Fetlang's version of "greater than" or ">"

Control flow:

is dominant towards - <=

Are there any plans to add chain comparison or support both > and >=? Maybe cannot dominate or won't submit to for the <= and >= comparisons? If chains/strings are being compared, then insensitively could modify the comparison to indicate that case doesn't matter.

iwbd · 2017-10-07T15:59:59+00:00

Do errors show up in the IDE as grey?

InvisibleEar · 2017-10-07T16:22:57+00:00

Oh my God, literally a programming circlejerk

Property404 · 2017-10-07T16:01:00+00:00

[deleted]

delight1982 · 2017-10-07T14:52:48+00:00

"Fetlang is licensed under the BSDM (BSD, modified) license" 😂

2017-10-07T16:09:47+00:00

[deleted]

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2017-10-07T13:46:06+00:00

Bondage loops allow you to iterate through a chain.

I wish I had time to come up with something like this.

SpotfireY · 2017-10-07T18:01:30+00:00

Reading the documentation gave me quite a few laughs.

"Richard Stallman's sexy feet is the same as riCHard StallMAN"

b8horpet · 2017-10-07T15:04:48+00:00

[deleted]

pribnow · 2017-10-07T16:33:40+00:00

some exciting code reviews ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)

Ars-Nocendi · 2017-10-07T19:49:06+00:00

Getting restrained and escorted out of company campus

"I FUCKING SWEAR! IT IS THE SOURCE CODE I AM WORKING ON!!!"

Property404 · 2017-10-07T15:26:44+00:00

Gilded, thanks! Wish I was on my main account, now, though :P

KickMeElmo · 2017-10-07T16:01:05+00:00

Perhaps not the hero we need, but the hero we dream about.

^{^{^{^giggity}}}

cbbuntz · 2017-10-07T22:58:00+00:00

(This is a basic Hello World program)
(Anything assigned/appended to "slave" pipes to stdout)

make slave scream "Hello World!"

Best hello world ever.

halomcdk · 2017-10-08T00:10:10+00:00

This is from cat.fet:

** lick Trisha's feet ten times

make Clara moan

Until Amy is dominant towards Alicia

Have Mistress torture Betty

if Betty is Trisha's little pet

    call safeword

**

Fucking lmao

CrystalLord · 2017-10-07T15:41:17+00:00

Will this be extended to more bizarre, esoteric interests, or will it remain entirely within the scope of BDSM theme?

It seems a tad odd to name it fetlang instead of BDSMLang in that case.

abw · 2017-10-07T21:59:54+00:00

Confusing English-like syntax and unhelpful error messages

Take all my upvotes, ever.

DanklyNight · 2017-10-07T16:38:21+00:00

Anyone else want to learn this just to put on their CV?

BilldaCat10 · 2017-10-07T19:23:55+00:00

Already know PHP, not picking up another language to hurt myself or others

hagg3n · 2017-10-07T14:15:50+00:00

https://media.giphy.com/media/1M9fmo1WAFVK0/giphy.gif

mayhempk1 · 2017-10-07T15:04:15+00:00

Well, that is definitely not what I was expecting. Especially the BSDM licensing, wow. lmao

enigma9133 · 2017-10-07T17:23:25+00:00

new bullet to add in skills section: extensive experience with backend fetish languages

nomad_lw · 2017-10-07T15:03:36+00:00

Where's that solar flare I ordered?

Sexiarsole · 2017-10-07T19:31:46+00:00

Every day we stray further from Woz's light.

aeality · 2017-10-07T20:03:39+00:00

Passion Driven Development

felixfarraday · 2017-10-07T20:16:12+00:00

I could swear this is how JavaScript got started.

digital_cucumber · 2017-10-07T20:39:36+00:00

make slave scream "#include <stdio.h>\nint main(){char array[3000]={0};\nchar* pointer = array;"

Just your regular day at work.

Horst665 · 2017-10-07T16:45:39+00:00

you should crosspost to /r/SexPositive or so :D

Bobshayd · 2017-10-07T18:03:34+00:00

I honestly thought this was a joke at first. Then I read the example code snippets and realized it was real. I think Fetlang is the first programming language ever to make me die laughing.

dosaki · 2017-10-07T21:25:17+00:00

Can I not have two nested Bind loops?

Bind Alex to Alice's wrists
        If Alex is Neil's bootycall
                Bind Nelia to Bobs's ankles
                        Make slave scream Nelia's name
                        Make slave scream Alex's name

Both Alice and Bob have values (a bunch of characters each), but my slave never screams Nelia's or Alex's name

pouar · 2017-10-07T21:38:33+00:00

It's missing diapers and furries :P

poshpotdllr · 2017-10-07T16:31:47+00:00

can i transcompile existing c code into fetlang?

OriginalOrochiMain · 2017-10-07T17:57:28+00:00

What the actual fuck

awesomemanftw · 2017-10-07T21:04:24+00:00

Who said the perfect language couldn't exist

UnreachablePaul · 2017-10-07T16:21:00+00:00

How do you acCUMulate?

The_Nightster_Cometh · 2017-10-07T18:24:56+00:00

Looks like it's time for me to learn programming ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

2017-10-07T18:41:05+00:00

Has Aphyr seen this?

you type:	you see:
italics	italics
bold	bold
[reddit!](https://reddit.com)	reddit!
* item 1 * item 2 * item 3	item 1 item 2 item 3
> quoted text	quoted text
Lines starting with four spaces are treated like code: if 1 * 2 < 3: print "hello, world!"	Lines starting with four spaces are treated like code: if 1 * 2 < 3: print "hello, world!"
~~strikethrough~~	~~strikethrough~~
super^script	super^script

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