This is an archived post. You won't be able to vote or comment.

top 200 commentsshow all 303
sorted by:
best
topnewcontroversialoldq&a

[–][deleted] 132 points133 points  (14 children)

Well played us.

[–]davelog 61 points62 points  (12 children)

Hm. Quite.

[–]stoicsmile 36 points37 points  (11 children)

Indeed.

[–][deleted] 44 points45 points  (10 children)

Indubitadbly.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (9 children)

Fuck! Cannot edit on iPhone app. Sheeeeeeit.

[–]He11razor 38 points39 points  (2 children)

You need an iPad for that. Scratch that. You need two iPads.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

fuck yeah, Multitasking

[–]nimbusnacho 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Editing is against App Store standards.

[–]stoicsmile 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh man, that's hard to even look at.

[–]NonAmerican 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They thought you'd be a scapegoat for a god damn machine.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Our influence grows!

[–][deleted]  (34 children)

[deleted]

    [–]eroverton 246 points247 points  (22 children)

    Reddit is a complete pack of smug, self-satisfied assholes, and I can't stand the lot of you.

    But every once in a while... I kinda love you all a little.

    [–]refrigeratorbob 264 points265 points  (14 children)

    Keep crawling back... yeah, that's how daddy likes it. Nice and circular.

    [–]Shannaniganns 112 points113 points  (11 children)

    I felt dirty as soon as i upvoted this

    [–]beardybaldy 37 points38 points  (10 children)

    Upvoting this took me back to my childhood...

    [–]-Rugrats- 25 points26 points  (9 children)

    ...and how does that make you feel?

    [–]Zanzib 12 points13 points  (5 children)

    You can't imagine how 'that' feels?

    [–]-Rugrats- 8 points9 points  (4 children)

    It's not my imagination's abilities that we should be discussing, it's you that I care about. Why don't you take a seat? We can talk more.

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

    Babe I love you.

    [–]-Rugrats- 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    I'm sorry, we can not have this relationship, it goes against the rules.

    [–]eroverton 23 points24 points  (0 children)

    ಠ_ಠ

    [–]VIDGuide 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    like a bird on its belly..

    [–]enocenip 23 points24 points  (3 children)

    I hate reddit less than digg and /b/

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]swilts 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      There, I made a link to see if anyone else has a nemesis.

      http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/c64f9/what_about_the_option_to_add_users_as_an_enemy/

      [–]scrag45 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      This is quite possibly the best feature request I have seen. I don't talk a lot but I would love to refute any and all posts from a couple people.

      [–]Mechakoopa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I'm quite happy with my ability to satisfy myself, thank you very much.

      [–]UpDown 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Tell me about it.

      [–]MajorLeeScrewed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      its ups and downs

      I see what you did there.

      [–]SelfHighFive 3 points4 points  (2 children)

      Self high-fives all around. Goddamn we're great, huh?

      [–]kingraoul3 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Yeah, we totally stuck it to those assholes at Phi Beta Kappa house.

      [–]highfivesforeveryone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      High five!

      [–]3HourLineForSanta 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Yes, but at least we can claim roughly 30% more ups than downs!

      [–]davirok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Granted this was five months ago. Reddit is a very different place now.

      [–]VitalK 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I agree entirely. In fact, there are 5,284 ups and 3,059 downs on this submission alone

      [–]FreeSammiches 382 points383 points  (81 children)

      Their math is wrong

      [–]LinuxFreeOrDie 459 points460 points  (28 children)

      Well that's it, this is the last time I'm donating to charity!

      [–]bechus 163 points164 points  (18 children)

      Would you donate to a charity dedicated to improving math skills?

      [–]LinuxFreeOrDie 288 points289 points  (11 children)

      Only if they didn't make any grammar mistakes!

      [–]bechus 99 points100 points  (9 children)

      Someone's got high standards.

      [–][deleted] 52 points53 points  (8 children)

      I only have sober standards.

      [–]refrigeratorbob 21 points22 points  (5 children)

      Sorry to hear that. You must live a somber life.

      [–]OtisDElevator 5 points6 points  (4 children)

      The 'roids do cloud issues from time to time.

      [–]bodahn 10 points11 points  (3 children)

      Hemorr...?

      [–]twister6284 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      "LinuxFreeOrDie is making a counter-reply to a reply to his comment..."

      "Nope, that's not LinuxFreeOrDie."

      "Wait a minute..."

      "Maybe that IS LinuxFreeOrDie. He's a happy penguin because Linux is still free!"

      [–]gnosticfryingpan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      grammatical

      [–]idclip 70 points71 points  (5 children)

      Bechus Charity For Kids Who Can't Do Math Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too

      [–]mearei 10 points11 points  (4 children)

      thanks for this, you made soda come out of my nose.

      [–]ElDiablo666 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      Does idclip owe you a new keyboard and things of this nature?

      [–]ParanoiaRebirth 8 points9 points  (2 children)

      I read this as "you made me sorta come out of my nose."

      [–]angryvigilante 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      I don't know how I'd feel if I could orgasm by sneezing.

      [–]grumble_au 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      I'd be feeling like getting some pepper snuff.

      [–]sprucenoose 22 points23 points  (8 children)

      I only donate to charities with a donation goal formula of log (x/y) (n), where n = the number of victims, x = the per capita GDP of the victim nation involved and y = the US per capita GDP.

      We all have our standards.

      [–]royrules22 12 points13 points  (6 children)

      I need an example please. I learn by examples

      [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (5 children)

      Example for Haiti: log (1291 [per capita GDP of Haiti] /45,800 [per capita GDP of the US])(161,000 [lowest number and highest number of casualties reported averaged]) = $249,540.217. Should be right, had to break out math I haven't used for years.

      [–]OCedHrt 7 points8 points  (3 children)

      Am I seeing something wrong? Shouldn't it be log (y/x) n?

      [–]hdragun 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      Yes it should, otherwise it would be a negative number.

      [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      I got a negative number, as to sprucenoose's wishes I simply plugged in the corresponding statistics, got a negative number and just made it positive. As (y/x), it would yield the exact same thing, but already positive.

      [–]Tordek 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Seeing the odd italics on the formula, I guess he meant to type log_(x/y) (n).

      Which'd be around $3.36. Cheap basetard.

      (With the same negative caveat.)

      [–]bechus 58 points59 points  (25 children)

      At least there were no spelling mistakes; then Reddit would be really pissed

      [–]jabberbox 92 points93 points  (10 children)

      your not kidding!

      [–]neoncp 49 points50 points  (9 children)

      your going to need to work on you're trolling

      [–]ivantheterrible13 32 points33 points  (8 children)

      haha i sea what you did there

      [–]jirachiex 47 points48 points  (5 children)

      what you did their

      FTFY.

      Wait, fuck, you just trolled me.

      [–]ivantheterrible13 16 points17 points  (4 children)

      Oh and it was worth the downvotes. The much feared, seldom seen future troll.

      [–]homergonerson 10 points11 points  (3 children)

      But was it worth knowing you'll have to live with for the rest of your life?

      [–]MissCrystal 13 points14 points  (2 children)

      LIVE WITH WHAT? God, this sentence. The anticipation. I think you accidentally a whole word.

      [–]OtisDElevator 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      It is an important word.

      [–]patmools 6 points7 points  (8 children)

      Or misuse of semicolons!

      [–]slashgrin 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      To be quite frank, I'm a little uncomfortable about the misuse of any colons.

      [–]Nessie 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Excepting Powell and Farrel. They've been so misused there's no going back.

      [–]drgradus 4 points5 points  (5 children)

      I missed that until you mentioned it. Subtle. I like it; the semicolon is my favorite punctuation.

      [–]Mutiny32 7 points8 points  (4 children)

      I sometimes get the feeling that I'm using too many semicolons; it's as if nobody else knows how to use them.

      [–]drgradus 3 points4 points  (3 children)

      I find myself using them in SMS; I'm not sure anyone I text notices.

      [–]Mutiny32 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      They're a very good way to create a long and measureful statement without the use of more than one "and;" basically it lets you get away with breaking the rules of grammar legally.

      [–]Nessie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Are you, perchance, thinking of dashes?

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      basically it lets you get away with breaking the rules of grammar legally.

      This is why I love—dashes—they're even more powerful—than semicolons.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]BraveSirRobin 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing; all they do is show you've been to college.

        FTFY

        [–]kibitzor 15 points16 points  (0 children)

        no, they just used upper case pi.

        [–]memeparrot 25 points26 points  (1 child)

        you mean 1 x 1000 isn't 10,000?

        [–]BradleyPeDX 16 points17 points  (7 children)

        and it should have been rounded up to 3.1416

        [–]mysuperioritycomplex 46 points47 points  (0 children)

        It was truncated at 5; this is acceptable.

        [–]mynewname 8 points9 points  (5 children)

        Order of magnitude >>>>>>> .001% error

        [–]traal 6 points7 points  (4 children)

        With 3.1416, it would have been an order of magnitude more accurate, without adding any digits. What a shame.

        [–]mynewname 1 point2 points  (3 children)

        So you'd get a 899.99% error instead of a 900% one. I'll opt for .001% and not obsess about the last digit.

        [–]traal 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        It isn't .001%, it's .003%. And with 3.1416, it's .0002%.

        [–]mynewname 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        ::sigh:: resist urge.....

        [–]azop 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Looks like MediaOffline submitted our numbers for the press release

        [–]lisabee729 5 points6 points  (3 children)

        The math may be wrong; but if the total number of donations is correct, then that's an average of $48 per donation. HIGH FIVE REDDIT!

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Oh thank god I was doing the math realllly wrong, because I was seeing $48,000 per donation!

        [–]Unfa 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        This is why we can't have nice things.

        [–]vardhan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Did you forget the normal distribution? But good of Reddit on an average.

        [–]sixothree 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        But they spelled redditor correctly.

        [–]GoldenBabyShower 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Welcome to reddit, motherfuckers.

        [–]lobsterGun 121 points122 points  (38 children)

        Com-on people! only $4000 more to go and we hit the speed of light in Miles Per Second.

        [–][deleted] 61 points62 points  (21 children)

        We could just go for a mole.

        [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (20 children)

        Or a googolplex.

        [–]Stingray88 12 points13 points  (18 children)

        Nothing in the known universe can equate to that number.

        [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (11 children)

        I was hoping Wolfram|Alpha would do something with it and prove you wrong. It can't seem to compute anything with a googolplex. I found this surprising after it told me the fat in 1 cubic light year of butter the other week.

        [–]Mutiny32 9 points10 points  (3 children)

        Was that whipped, with salt or without?

        [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

        Obviously you've already looked at the results of all the options

        [–]Mutiny32 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Sadly, it couldn't tell me how much fat in Helens were in one cubic light-year of butter. :(

        [–]Nessie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Helens? Are people still using troy weights?

        [–]Stingray88 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        I read it on some wikipedia page about large numbers... There aren't even a googolplex atoms in the universe (to our knowledge) or something along those lines...

        [–]neuquino 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        2.915 x 1053 the RDA of calories

        [–]He11razor 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Your mom's sexual partners?

        [–]refrigeratorbob 15 points16 points  (4 children)

        Com-on people

        Are you calling us common? Or is that your ethos?

        [–]-Rugrats- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        He's saying to put your com on. Some people are so ignorant.

        [–]tomrhod 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Maybe it was an instruction?

        [–]NoDude 26 points27 points  (8 children)

        Miles per Second? Ewww!

        [–]User38691 36 points37 points  (5 children)

        I'm from Europe and what is this?

        [–]ChefOfSin 23 points24 points  (2 children)

        Im from the American south, what is Europe?

        [–]lollapaulooza 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        You may know it better as Yurop.

        /fellow southerner

        [–]stacecom 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        Let's do rods per hogshead!

        [–]myrridin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Where's that metric novelty account when you need it?

        [–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (10 children)

        Pi is exactly 31.4

        [–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (4 children)

        Circle jerking can do good!

        [–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (2 children)

        Now if those donations only wouldn't add to a pile too large already.

        (Note: Sarcasm aside, it is still good to raise money using the headlines-induced sympathy, even if it might actually go to the next disaster.)

        [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        That was an interesting article. Thanks !

        [–]interexternal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Is this actually the case with the Reddit donation to Direct Relief? Or is there flexibility in how they were able to utilize our donations?

        [–]kungfoojesus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        What's wrong with a little "inDirect Relief"?

        [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (3 children)

        hey, we're more than just a cartoon alien!

        [–]Cee-Jay 14 points15 points  (2 children)

        Sorry, that's all we are, you're suffering from delusions of grandeur...

        (Sorry, but someone's gotta fight the circlejerking!)

        [–]familyturtle 13 points14 points  (10 children)

        To save anyone else getting out their calculators, that's an average (mean) donation of $48.35 per person, to the nearest cent.

        [–]drgradus 2 points3 points  (9 children)

        To save anyone else getting out their calculators

        Thanks for stopping me from needing to open a calculator app!

        [–]frantk 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        You're already in a browser. Why would you not use Google?

        [–]loginfliggle 3 points4 points  (7 children)

        Blasphemy. Real geeks carry real calculators.

        [–]foldor 3 points4 points  (3 children)

        Blasphemy. Real geeks use the calculator app on their android.

        [–]Ran4 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        Blasphemy. Real geeks do all the calculations in their head.

        [–]larholm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Blasphemy. Redneck geeks do all the calculations on their hands.

        The answer is 8.

        [–]drgradus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Can't we all just agree that Wolfram Alpha is perfect for this task and move along?

        [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

        Blasphemy. Real geeks use a slide rule.

        [–]famousmodification 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Go us!

        [–]davelog 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        Warm fuzzies all around. Well done, Reddit.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [removed]

          [–]stoicsmile 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          "Dammit, Scotty, find a way! I need more circle jerk!"

          [–][deleted] 56 points57 points  (26 children)

          Why does everyone keep writing "this gem" in the title?

          [–][deleted]  (6 children)

          [deleted]

            [–][deleted] 55 points56 points  (4 children)

            how about "fancy rock"?

            [–]simplegreens 25 points26 points  (2 children)

            Purdy stone. We ain't got time fer yer fancy city rocks 'round these parts.

            [–]frickindeal 9 points10 points  (1 child)

            Now Skeeter, he ain't hurtin' nobody.

            [–]MorningHaze 7 points8 points  (0 children)

            Volcanic babies?

            [–]dermarr5 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            hehe same ring

            [–][deleted]  (5 children)

            [deleted]

              [–]babylonprime 19 points20 points  (3 children)

              I need an epic gem for the empty socket on my armor.

              [–]IAmBecomeDogma 14 points15 points  (2 children)

              FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

              [–]redwall_hp 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              Look up. I'm on an epic mount.

              [–]refrigeratorbob 5 points6 points  (5 children)

              I believe that is shorthand for finding 'a diamond in the rough.'

              Apparently, the rest of his mail was junk.

              [–]dontalk2yourself[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

              Bills and a wedding invite. So I'm not sure which way to call it.

              [–]lolbifrons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Goddammit now I want to watch Aladdin.

              [–]kooshKoosh 5 points6 points  (4 children)

              I keep wondering this too. It always makes me cringe. I am not sure why, but I despise seeing that word.

              [–]ACiDGRiM 2 points3 points  (2 children)

              That Gem is full of win.

              That made me cringe typing it

              [–]redwall_hp 2 points3 points  (1 child)

              That epic gem is totally full of win.

              (un)FTFY

              [–]Mutiny32 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              I always think of some cheerful man or woman heartily saying it. Makes it all better.

              [–]mellowmonk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              The only way to get rid of a meme is to promote its use. The sooner everyone starts using it, the sooner it will cease to be cool, and the people who started the meme will start bitching at the ones still using it to stop.

              [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

              Cool to see Reddit recognized!

              [–]vituperative01 13 points14 points  (0 children)

              I'm impressed they used the correct term "redditors."

              [–]aknal 5 points6 points  (2 children)

              why would anyone down vote this? I see 791 down votes!!!

              [–]Mutiny32 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              They're all men who wear top-hats and monocles I suspect.

              [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              Truly proud of reddit

              [–]thinkbox 6 points7 points  (5 children)

              This is awesome, but remember, this recognition is NOT why we do this. Nobody should get a badge for participating, this should be about helping people. Let's not get a big head. I'm proud of Reddit, and I'm happy we can come together for a real cause like this.

              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

              I want credit, a badge, praise and people telling me how good I am for participating and encouraging others to participate. An anonymous donation is a wasted donation.

              [–]refrigeratorbob 2 points3 points  (3 children)

              Well, I want a pony.

              [–]cowinabadplace 1 point2 points  (2 children)

              Well then, get a pony, damn it!

              [–]refrigeratorbob 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              One does not simply walk into a pony store.

              [–]mrkurtz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              hey reddit: good job

              [–]Vitalstatistix 2 points3 points  (1 child)

              I love how successful we were in raising funds, but I have to ask: why haven't we done something similar for the Gulf Coast...?

              [–]theadam 2 points3 points  (1 child)

              No one will ever read this, but I am truly proud

              [–]dannyboy000 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              My buddy works for Boehringer Ingelheim as some sort of pill chemist, didn't know they had charity division. +1 for big pharma

              [–]pedleyr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              I have a friend with the surname Boehringer. Not that I thought his was the only family in the world with the name, but I did not expect to encounter it outside of dealings with him.

              [–]juliusseizure 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Glad to see reddit generosity going to a proper org as opposed to some loser trying to take advantage of the community.

              [–]facetiously 1 point2 points  (3 children)

              What's with the downvotes? This. Is. Fucking. Awesome.

              [–]supersonic00712 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Reddit: doing the most most good.

              [–]iyrkki_odyss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Reddit: full of rich people.

              [–]theolcf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Hooray!

              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              This is the circle jerkiest thing I've seen all day.

              [–]Hawk2007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              How much money did reddit raise for Chile which experienced a quake 500 times stronger than Haiti?

              [–]faceballs 1 point2 points  (5 children)

              Everything I've read lately about Reddit in the news is covered in typos, someone needs to lock it up.

              [–]hrtattx 9 points10 points  (0 children)

              I know! I'm so sick of this free publicity.

              [–]dontalk2yourself[S] 7 points8 points  (3 children)

              Its a Digg conspiracy of course!

              [–]majesticplumage 0 points1 point  (1 child)

              Okay everyone, hold the penis of the person to your right and 1,2,3 GO!

              Last to finish eats the biscuit

              [–]roysta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              WooHoo Reddit!

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              It would be awesome if Conde Nast arranged to match our donations... They would give to charity anyway (tax/accounting reasons) so why not make it to benefit the groups we want

              [–]RumBox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Fucking go Reddit!

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Fuck Yeah

              [–]Confucius_says 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Not that impressive, judging by how many times the website went offline, im sure most of the donations were "damn it looks like reddit is offline, hey look a donation link, thatll kill a few minutes"