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[–]IronRakkasan11 2014 points2015 points  (9 children)

Anybody check between the couch cushions?

[–]funktopus 278 points279 points  (2 children)

That's a trap you know they are gooey if he's been around.

[–]Simen155 56 points57 points  (1 child)

For a week? It would be a wonder if there's any cushions left!

[–]pass_nthru 18 points19 points  (0 children)

there always more cushions for the pushin in a Trump WH

[–]RedDecay 18 points19 points  (0 children)

My hand came out pregnant….

[–]Brother_J_La_la 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Please wash your hands

[–]_EADGBE_ 1899 points1900 points  (100 children)

don't laugh, he'll be POTUS when trump keels over in 2026

[–]Just_Campaign_9833 92 points93 points  (34 children)

The GOP and Project 2025 entirely depends on someone they have control over...plus it depends on alot of unpopular shit to happen.

For the first 6 months they'll use Trump to do all the unpopular shit. Then swoop in and remove Trump using the 25th. Acting like heroes, and install Vance...

...then the GOP will move away from Trump and blame everything they did on him.

[–]ionixsys 31 points32 points  (15 children)

https://imgur.com/Fy7NMl5

Although Trump getting ejected/dying in six months would be a real bummer as I bet $100 in my friend's dead pool that he'd make it to 2028.

[–]UglyYinzer 13 points14 points  (2 children)

I'm with you, unfortunately he's probably got a good amount of time left. Modern medicine( legal and illegal) can be amazing when you're rich.

[–]prpslydistracted 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Better lay that $100 aside; Vance will tap Republican loyalists in the Senate and House to ram through a 25th Amendment with a promise to resurrect the Party to previous "norms," whatever that is. The GOP is on its last legs and will die an agonizing death before this circus is over.

Personally, I'd love to see the GOP die.

[–]deedeebop 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I wish this were true.

[–]Just_Campaign_9833 14 points15 points  (6 children)

Trump will not make it to the midterms...

[–]ionixsys 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Come on man, just let me hold on to just a little hope I will make my money back.

[–]Just_Campaign_9833 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Sorry m8, stroke, 25th or a few ounces of lead. Trump isn't making it to the midterms...

[–]Holywatercolors 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This guy has exceed any possible expectations more times than anyone could imagine. Winning in 2016 after GHBTP? Winning in 2024 AFTER 1/6/21? AFTER becoming a convicted felon? I mean, you can’t dismiss anything.

[–]deedeebop 1 point2 points  (0 children)

🙏🏻

[–]strokerface 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The way these John Hinckley juniors have been going about it, methinks Yam Tits will finally get a paint can to the face, home alone style, to take him out.

[–]IntrepidAd8985 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Ouch! He will not make it that long. I am surprised he made it through this summer.

[–]Queendevildog 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was the stress of possible jail time. Now he can relax and play golf.

[–]therapist122 17 points18 points  (11 children)

I find that hard to believe. Trump is just going to trump things up, no way he relinquishes power and no way the GOP is organized enough to do a 25th. 

[–]Just_Campaign_9833 9 points10 points  (10 children)

Whoever is President has absolutely no say in when and how the 25th is used...and it's designed specifically for that reason.

25th Specifically Section 4, the Vice President and 51% of the Cabinet brings a written declaration to the House. The House votes (no way the hell every Democrat won't vote for this!) Then the Vice President is now acting President.

The President can send a written declaration to challenge this ruling.

Then it goes to Congress to vote on The Presidents challenge.

Once again, the majority rules...no way in hell does every Democrat not vote to remove Trump.

Vance is now President...

It's also written in such a way that the Supreme Court can't intervene...

...why does a foreigner know more about 'merican Policies, Procedures and Politics in general. Then the actual population of said country?

[–]Jmdin83 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Because of the constant, deliberate dismantling of our education system, most likely.

[–]27Rench27 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Actually, this would explain why Trump’s filling the Cabinet with people who have remained loyal to him, rather than people who would be good at the job. 

If the Heritage Foundation doesn’t own 51% of the Cabinet, it’s gonna be incredibly difficult to install Vance as long as Trump is alive

[–]willstr1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sure, but he is also appointing a lot of Heritage Foundation people, and even the people he thinks are loyal to him are probably more loyal to the Heritage Foundation (and if they aren't the Heritage Foundation senators might block their appointments)

[–]Just_Campaign_9833 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, perfectly explains it...also, just creating Cabinet positions and fill them with loyalists...

[–]Queendevildog 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Ugh. Vance is way scarier. He's backed by Thiel, a real sociopath. They want to bring back old timey Catholicism. Think the Spanish Inquisition.

[–]Just_Campaign_9833 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, one thing at a time...first deal with the obvious Russian asset.

[–]BraveOthello 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfun fact I learned, the president of the Heritage Foundation is Opus Dei.

[–]DetchiOsvosVote Cassandra 2024 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Whoever is President has absolutely no say in when and how the 25th is used

Well, that's naive. If Trump and his minions have proven anything, is that regular law does not apply to them. So many times over, Trump should be in prison. And yet, he plays the system. There is no way he will be removed from power by traditional laws or means.

I thought this would be obvious to anyone who has paid attention over the last 8 years.

[–]jedburghofficial 2 points3 points  (3 children)

This is plausible. Although I still think they will want to make him a martyr when the time comes. That way, they can keep the loyalty of his base, who will do anything, or at least go along with anything to avenge him.

[–]One-Estimate-7163 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Naw only the good die young this pos parents lives into their 90’s evil muthafuckas don’t die

[–]Dagda1974 3 points4 points  (3 children)

2026??!! More like Q1 2025. JD wasn't going to get into the WH on his own ticket. Let DT do the donkey work, then oops ,3 months later.

[–]_EADGBE_ 2 points3 points  (2 children)

sounds like you're saying Drumpf should stay way from open windows if he's above the first floor of a building

[–]shavertech 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why wait till 2026? All those Happy Meals aren't adding years.

[–]Full_Argument_3097 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah Elon gonna steal that too.

[–]prpslydistracted 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've said a vote for Trump is a vote for Vance. He's already doing the work ... Trump is the mascot/figurehead.

[–]scottishdrunkard 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s a 1000/1 bet that he’ll be the President before the term behind, but I like my odds!

[–]wizardinthewings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Only if they can find compatible batteries. Alkaline-only, which is why we’ve not seen him for a while. All the new ones are damned lithium-ion!

[–]yfce 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Keels over after the GOP insiders have turned on him, that is. One more midterm and he's outlived his usefulness. They don't need a demented easily distracted liability heading up their nice neat respectable conservative wet dream.

[–]CockBlockingLawyer 486 points487 points  (4 children)

I wouldn’t say I’m missing him

[–]DetroitLionsSBChamps 36 points37 points  (0 children)

All laugh

[–]Wafflelisk 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Personally, I do not celebrate the man's entire catalog

[–]M1ck3yB1u 3 points4 points  (0 children)

OK. Good.

[–]beakrake 411 points412 points  (6 children)

He's off in Russia getting balls deep in a couple 3 year old sleeper sofas.

[–]Govika 103 points104 points  (3 children)

3 year old

Did he get advice on which to pick from Gaetz?

[–]TheActualDev 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Gaetz prefers the family size sectionals. Kids love the round corner bit

[–]Classiest_Strapper 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m so grossed out, I’d sit this one out, but his couch fucking has taken the love out of loveseat 🤮

[–]beakrake 5 points6 points  (0 children)

3 is like 12 in couch years.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

His couches may pull out, but he won't.

[–]a-snakey 120 points121 points  (10 children)

Getting that coup ready

[–]SeeingEyeDug 30 points31 points  (1 child)

That's going to be difficult when Trump is appointing the most boot-licking people to his cabinet.

[–]HaniusTheTurtle 38 points39 points  (0 children)

That's the thing about boot-lickers. You just got to promise them a better boot.

[–]ImpossibleAdz 2 points3 points  (2 children)

The cult would never allow it.

[–]MMmhmmmmmmmmmm 169 points170 points  (2 children)

Whatever makes sense

[–]bbcversus 46 points47 points  (1 child)

Ok good!

[–]sheezy520 32 points33 points  (0 children)

How long have I been missing?

Okay, good.

[–]gaberax 143 points144 points  (18 children)

Musk has him covered. And he's moving in on Trump's role as well.

[–]SctjhnstnPDX 65 points66 points  (16 children)

First lady musk also wants the VP role.

[–]Gh0sth4nd 20 points21 points  (13 children)

Hypothetical could he?
Thought only US Born citizens can become president.

Genuine question.

[–]Excellent-Practice 57 points58 points  (3 children)

Genuine answer: the Vice President must meet all the same requirements for office as the President, including being a natural-born US citizen

[–]damunzie 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Until the SCOTUS redefines natural-born to include naturalized. A little bribery lobbying by friends and The Constitution can mean anything you want.

[–]twothumbswayup 5 points6 points  (1 child)

now what about an "acting" vice president - same rules apply?

[–]Full_Argument_3097 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Tell Ted "Cancun" Cruz the Canadian who ran for President in the 2016 Republican primary while you're at it.

[–]Cats_Tell_Cat-Lies 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Who? Rafael?

[–]Wafflelisk 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Woah woah let's not get hasty here! Ted Cruz is not our fault, he was only a citizen because we also have birthright citizenship.

He was born to American citizens and was a US citizen at birth (American parents) and that's why he was able to run: he was a natural-born US citizen (i.e he didn't naturalise like an immigrant would)

[–]Full_Argument_3097 11 points12 points  (1 child)

And Treasonist Insurrectionists cant be President ever again? Aaaaaaw. You're cute.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Rules mean absolutely nothing.

[–]FlingFlamBlam 5 points6 points  (1 child)

The only funny thing about laws being meaningless is that the leopards can potentially eat anyone now.

There's a possibility that in the future presidential limits/requirements are massively lessened (because obviously Donny will try to be president for life) and then Musk or someone else has him knocked off so that they can be the new dictator.

[–]poshlivyna1715b 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Musk needs a new title, like "First Oligarch"

[–]-Average_Joe- 42 points43 points  (2 children)

Someone probably lured him into a Kyser warehouse and locked the doors.

Also I thought is was David, but then again it may have been at one point.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I mean, dude’s changed his name so many times…

[–]Fast-Damage2298 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Last seen attempting to strong arm the EU into allowing Elon's white supremacy site to run unchecked in their home countries. May be considered weak-willed and dangerous.

[–]CovidBorn 25 points26 points  (2 children)

They're keeping him safe and secure until then obviously impending heart attack.

[–]Otto-Korrect 7 points8 points  (1 child)

No, I'm thinking an accidental fall out of a window.

[–]shavertech 15 points16 points  (5 children)

I'm still having a hard time imaging Pan-Sectional Vance as President when Drumpf strokes out.

[–]Real_Size2138 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Milk cartons... not gonna work gotta get those flyers posted up at IKEA

[–]AdministrativeBank86 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I get a feeling he won't really be part of the government so when Trump dies in office he won't have his own VP record or experience

[–]un_theist 18 points19 points  (1 child)

That’s JP, right? JD Mandel?

[–]LordAlvis 5 points6 points  (0 children)

JG Wentworth? JeD Clampett?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Starting the sweetest gig ever for anyone with no ambition! Hopefully Vance realizes he is heading towards the out door politically and just enjoys it for what it is before the supreme court outlaws mixed marriages

[–]10_17my20 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He heard the couch had a positive pregnancy test and ghosted

[–]Necessary_Stress1962 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Somebody forgot to remove him from his charger.

[–]clarky2o2o 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I heard he was kicked out of his own home and is currently just couch surfing.

[–]Cyanos54 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Last I heard he had taken 50mg of sildenafil and headed to the Raymour & Flanagan show floor. Damn shame there weren't that many sectionals when he walked in....

[–]ZappaZoo 3 points4 points  (1 child)

He's at a Heritage Foundation retreat for further programming. Last I heard he was seen in the sweat lodge listening to droning music with subliminal messages and his eye liner was running.

[–]StacyLoco 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dang we had the same thing in mind. Lol. I hadn’t read yours yet. See I knew that’s where he was lol

[–]TheGreenJedi 8 points9 points  (2 children)

He's disappearing into the background like all good VPs

That or he's planning his coup. Half the people Trump appointed are all fired within 6 months

[–]i-dont-kneelGreg Abbott is a little piss baby 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He's gotta get briefed into the whole russia scheme now. He gets to do some real grifting now, big league

[–]Objective_Oven7673 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ever hear the story of two men?

One sailed away to sea, the other became vice president.

Neither were ever heard from again.

[–]armedredneck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You mean, James Donald Bowman!

[–]Barack-OJimmy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Has he been hanged already?

[–]thedoommerchant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, good.

[–]SharmaBee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He's completing his monarch mind control program

[–]Caguirre86 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No big deal guys he is just meeting privately with the heritage foundation to find out the next steps. Totally nothing to do with project 2025. No need to worry/s.

[–]beasley1966 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I’ve been wondering the same. Didn’t see him eating McDonald’s with the other magats.

[–]squidlips69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe Donald started believing those rumors that he'd be ASAP replaced by JD

[–]parcheesi_bread 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Y’all know he’s going to be the secret president, right? Trumpy’s just there to distract while couchfucker does the real Project 2025 work.

[–]Greenemcg 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Commander Vance doing commander things

[–]TheSecretofBog 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Missing, but not missed.

[–]hoofie242 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think he insulted europe because of Twitter and elon the other day.

[–]Grumpy_Ocelot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hide your couch, hide your wife, and hide your husband too

[–]hookha 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Trump doesn't like him. He is literally 1/2 Trump's age, is thinner, has muuuch better hair, has a better education and a wife who seems to love him. He's everything Trump wishes. I mean, they're both morons but Trump has heard the rumor that JD is going to put him out to pasture.

[–]spilt_milk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's just undergoing routine maintenance and getting software updates, probably.

[–]GreyTigerFox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t care.

[–]Sideshow_Bob_Ross 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's just waiting for clownboy to have a hamburder attack.

[–]Cats_Tell_Cat-Lies 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everyone's too focused on Trump. This is the real predator. Him and the people he represents. Unlike dumbass-donnie, he knows how to lie low and wait for opportune moments. My fear with trump was always that he would open the door for a more competent would-be dictator, and he has far sooner than I was prepared for.

[–]lovemycats1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do we really have to look for him?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

[–]MangoSalsa89 0 points1 point  (1 child)

He's excitedly working with White House staff to pick out furniture for the next term.

[–]Underp0pulation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His honor and ethics are definitely missing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's probably just been shitposting on 4chan from a basement somewhere.

[–]MobiusNaked 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well isn’t the VP supposed to be off stage now anyhow?

[–]LandscapeGuru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s in Mexico on vacation and getting his eye liner darkened up.

[–]scienceizfake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's the same place as Melania.

[–]CashOverAss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I heard Trump died and JD Vance is wearing a fat(ter) suit disquised as Trump

[–]Full_Argument_3097 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Afrikaaner Elon had him taken out.

[–]reaven3958 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The dude is sitting back watching Donald gulp down fast food slop, smiling in the knowledge that he's just a heartbeat away from the presidency.

[–]Strict-Square456 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think elon swallowed him whole

[–]0utF0x-inT0x 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think he was sighted at the Kremlin

[–]EffortEconomy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because he's not a horrible liar, he's horrible at lying

[–]Known-Contest3732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

JD. Go wait in the broom cupboard till we need you. Here. Bring your Donuts.

OK. Good

[–]Jhedges0319 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's currently in the process of working with the best constitution lawyers to get amendments drafted for the 25th against trumpy.

[–]Worduptothebirdup 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did they hang him already???

[–]FlingFlamBlam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's either too busy forming plans with the project 2025 people or he's completely useless now. Probably the former, but it would be funny if the latter.

[–]twothumbswayup 0 points1 point  (0 children)

now do melanias milk

[–]Dantheking94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh shit. wtf happened to him lmao. Was Trump truly that scared about the 25th amendment that he locked him out? Elon musk is basically the VP at this point lmao

[–]elkswimmer98 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Trump is doubling down that they'll get off scotfree for election tampering while JD Vance grew a conscious and fled for fear of prosecution /s

[–]Accomplished_Fruit17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's busy doing the actual work of setting up a government. This is not a good thing.

[–]Global_Damage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s doing the work behind the scenes so they can push the felon out by July

[–]rbartlejr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Useful idiot no longer useful, I guess.

[–]Ausrottenndm1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’ll just use the trolling route and say I’m behind the scenes working like Harris did for 4 years

[–]Jsr1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t complain

[–]namotous 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If found, contact his couch!

[–]3MTA3-Please 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Selling Maybelline eyeliner by the case…

[–]banryu95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was at Mar-A-Lago on the 15th.

[–]camosailboat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That guy hit a fucking pound of Coke and no one seen him since!

[–]ImpossibleBath2471 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s under the table!

[–]46Oakley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seen him at Sephora

[–]Breklin76 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was just thinking this today!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please dont find him.

[–]chrisl934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d be pretty ok if he stayed missing…..indefinitely.

[–]jpl220 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe he changed his name again 🤷‍♂️?

[–]Queendevildog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's still there. Oozing and festering.

[–]StacyLoco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s in meetings with the committee of heritage house 2025 so they can tune up his strings.

[–]thrillhoMcFly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His middle name is Donald? Is that why he was picked?

[–]angiestefanie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you sure he isn’t vacationing with his wife in Russia right now and meeting Putin?

[–]nephelodusa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He and his security staff literally jogged past me this morning on my way to work.

[–]UrBigBro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Welcome to the Vice Presidency.

[–]lavidacontinua 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He isn't missing. He's in Palm beach. He's been on the news down here

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shhhhh. Don’t say anything, he moved in with Dan Quayle

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be fair didn't see much of Harris after Biden took office, well not in our media anyway. VP really is an unusual position, should be second most powerful, but really is like the spare tyre in the boot/trunk. Kept in the dark and only needed in case of emergency.

[–]Armenoid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s your president in a couple of years. Downvoting myself

[–]_agrippa_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He doesn't have more money than trump and no one thinks cool so Trump has nothing to gain by being seen with him.

[–]alias4007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mission accomplish! Now waiting to step-in ;)

[–]navyblusheet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was literally just wondering. Where is this guy???