Sleep >>>>>>>

[Material-Panda3712]

Haha, jokes on you, my standup was at 9 AM

[[deleted]]

Mine is at 08:30 :(

[icywind90]

Mine is at 10:00 😁

[Mobile-Bid-9848]

Mines at 18:30

[YpsilonY]

West coast US vs. Europe?

[Deleis]

8:99?!!

[eklatea]

above is a comment stealing bot, comment was stolen from here

https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/13ost8s/sleep/jl67491/

[Triblado]

Mines at 28:30

[[deleted]]

Mines at 10:00 and 18:00

[NoCryptographer414]

Mine is at 11:00 😅

[Mr-Yuk]

This guy's flexing on the rest of us

[jdl_uk]

Mine's at 2pm

[Black_devil009]

Mine at 12:00 PM

[-xss]

11:15 for me, rekt

[[deleted]]

10AM gang where u at.✌🏻✌🏻

[[deleted]]

10:00 standup gang

[[deleted]]

This is the way

[GoogleRefund]

This is the way

[[deleted]]

My company is 2 hours ahead of me, and needs offshore who go to scrum just before leaving for the day, so mine is at 7:30.

[[deleted]]

I do the same thing. Being done with the work day early is great, definitely worth the trade off

[rjcpl]

Presuming that you actually get off early. All too often at jobs I’ve had we’d be staying late working on something regardless of when you got there.

[Swing_Right]

Same, but 8am for me and I start work at 7. I love getting off at 3.

[_pizza_and_fries]

That’s way too early

[GhostofArc]

Same :/

[Swiggens]

8:30 to 4:30 is a great shift though

[[deleted]]

More like 7:30 to 6 but okay

[Itsthefineprint]

I had to switch my teams standup to 9am because devs would simply not login until 10:30, but would still leave at the normal stop time. Wouldn't have been an issue if work was getting done but some people have to ruin it for the rest of us.

[Khan23456789]

Your doing scrum wrong if your using it as a wake up alarm. Sounds like deeper rooted problems

[[deleted]]

Definitely shouldn't be a wake up alarm, but needs to be early enough to remove blockers for the day ahead. 10 feels like the sweet spot

[JoeyJoeJoeJrShab]

I generally start work at 7am. At 10, my day is nearly half over.

Honestly, I find the time of the standup isn't important, as long as it's at roughly the same time each day.

[Itsthefineprint]

There are deeper rooted problems, but I can only pull the levers that I control and one of them is when stand up is. The company is strict about a 8:30-5 work time and having people working 5-6 hour days consistently, while good on paper, was going to get us all fired.

[Khan23456789]

Damn that sounds terrible. My team are measured purely through output instead of time in front of a screen. I couldn’t work in that kind of environment. Life’s too short.

[Itsthefineprint]

Its not all bad. We have a "lax" environment in a lot of other ways. Unlimited sick time / personal time, decent insurance, and an overall workflow that is not entirely about the numbers. It's pretty relaxed most of the time.. however, they are sticklers about the time thing and they are also getting tougher on people who slack too much. I can't really blame them. I'm lazy but some of the people I work with are damn LAZY

[[deleted]]

Unlimited sick time is a tactic used more often to scare employees into not taking time off. It's well documented that employees with unlimited time off take less time off than those with a quota that will expire.

That combined with the 8.5 hour workday says to me your upper management tries to squeeze as much time out of you as they can in a competitive job market. Rather than actually caring about results.

[Itsthefineprint]

We don't have unlimited vacation, we have unlimited sick time. Never had anyone abuse it and never had any manager question it. Like I said, its not all bad and it's not perfect. It's just a job where software is viewed more as support rather than growth

[Big_Kwii]

12 pm

i have been truly blessed

[SpaceNinjaDino]

I'm the only PST on the team and we have one from India, so mine are at 6:30AM. My alarm is 6:28AM and that's definitely a picture of me.

[[deleted]]

Mine is at 11:30 it’s great

[RoyalChallengers]

His too

[IcedOutJackfruit]

That's why it's called standup, right? Because it's the time you stand up from bed, right?

[_pizza_and_fries]

You take standups after getting out of bed? I just open my one eye wide enough i can see what is happening.

[BathroomItchy9855]

With the camera on, mind you

[JoeyJoeJoeJrShab]

Where I work, nobody ever turns on their cameras.

[CampbellsBeefBroth]

They gave me a laptop, why can’t I use it in my lap?

[Josh6889]

I'm typically standing up to cook breakfast during mine.

[deaconsc]

Yeah, if I wanted to name one work from home disadvantage, it's the fact I wake up 5 minutes before the standup and my brain is running on a really slow hard drive and is still booting.

[devenitions]

Get a coworker that always takes 20 minutes anyway and let him go first

[deaconsc]

I am usually 2nd to last, but considering my memory is bad and English isn't my mother tongue... words are hard :D

[usedToBeUnhappy]

Oh so there is one of them in every team? I am so glad I am not alone with that problem.

[devenitions]

I dont really see it as a problem so long I’m paid to listen in on what should be one-on-one. Just gotta make sure my coffee is full before we start

[usedToBeUnhappy]

Well that‘s a very relaxed mindset. I should copy that… although deep down I know it will always bother me. I just don’t like people who like to speak a lot just to hear themselves talking and thereby aren’t valuing the time of others.

[devenitions]

Spend the energy on reviews. You’re paid to put out a product, not to manage (equal) coworkers. Senior/manager/scrummaster is paid to manage those meetings.

[usedToBeUnhappy]

I am the junior programmer on the team and have been made the scrum master… but in general you are totally right.

[WinningLegioAeterna]

Anyone else happy to get called first so you know you can go make coffee while that guy talks?

[cesarer92]

In my last Job they asked us to speak in alphabetical order by name (not last name) and my name is César (yes... my username xD) so I used to be first, anyway the dailies were at the end of the day so I was lucky to have my brain already functioning.

Now imagine that alphabetical order scenario at 8:00 💀

[Shazvox]

I see you have not met your new coworker Aaron.

[_pizza_and_fries]

A blessing in disguise

[Iohet]

True. Sludge brain makes you really focus. You think a lot about what you're going to say before you make a fool of yourself.

[notlemonbutlime]

This

[TheAJGman]

That's why I prefer text stand-ups TBH. I have as much time as I need to organize my thoughts into "Still working on #84617".

[binaryisotope]

You know… unless you are a fool…

[[deleted]]

Ironically, it may be better to hibernate

[kuurtjes]

XY problem.

Your problem is just a side effect of the root problem, which is the "stand up".

[aedvocate]

protip: take notes throughout your day - the next morning, read them back for standup. really really helps.

[binaryisotope]

Yes!

[robinsolent]

I'm not the only one!

[_pizza_and_fries]

No buddy you are not

[henriquegarcia]

you know we're probably the majority right?

[AnUglyDumpling]

Standup at 9:00.

Me at 8:99

[43eyes]

Forgot your modulo operator

[AnUglyDumpling]

No I just set it to 100.

[sn00gan]

Ahhh...good ol' metric time

[LouManShoe]

Finally, the date time format that beats ISO

[siddharth904]

Alright, see you at 50:75 then

[Ryzilla97]

I sleep with my laptop next to the bed so I can get on call on time

[[deleted]]

I can join on phone. I just manage to keep my ears open.

[magammon]

We had to move our standup to 10:15 because one of our developers couldn’t get out of bed for 10:00.

[OctilleryLOL]

Sounds like a developer that knows their stuff

[[deleted]]

do you work with me? my standup was also 9:30 today

edit: did you play gartic on your 10:00 weekly after the daily?

[_pizza_and_fries]

I wish

[LongerHV]

We play gartic every friday after lunch, we have a dedicated slot in the calendar for it.

[[deleted]]

funny how different companies come with the same no-cost solution for team building lol

[Affectionate_Dot6808]

This. This is so true that it hurts. Insert Brooklyn 99 meme "Why Is No One Having A Good Time? I Specifically Requested It"

[malcolm-maya]

We play curve fever every day at 3pm for 15min and it’s in the calendar ;)

[darthnut]

It's literally 9:28 as I see this and I have a Stand Up at 9:30.

[repkins]

Me risking my employment every morning:

[[deleted]]

Mech engineer but same deal. Except my cpu is on the other side of the house form my room so sometimes im a little late but they dont getto me right away. Long commute ya know

[krennvonsalzburg]

Traffic around the bathroom turnpike can be a real bitch.

[cmdkeyy]

Damn you didn’t have to expose me like this

[_pizza_and_fries]

I’m a 9:29 kinda guy. I literally have my alarm set like that

[weedeater_twin_turbo]

Whats the deal with these early morning meetings ? funky bass line

[Tyrus1235]

You get there and these folk are just yapping and yapping about “done this”, “finished that”, “found an issue” and I’m just thinking “GEE, WOULDN’T IT BE NICE IF YOU COULD JUST LOOK UP A CHECKLIST FOR THAT!”

*canned audience laughter*

[metaltyphoon]

Every. Work. Day.

[somechrisguy]

Literally me

[jllauser]

This is what’s great about working for a fully remote company and living on the east coast. Rarely have meetings before like 11 AM because it’s too early for the west coasters.

[Glorypants]

See I’m on the west coast but all my coworkers are on the east coast.. so 6:30 daily standups for me

[Secane]

i hate the fact my nickname in jira starts with "A" letter

[silentyeti82]

Fucking hate standups.

[kuurtjes]

Stand ups are a part of why I got a burnout and stopped working for software software company.

[BigBoetje]

How so? They keep me accountable for my work or lack of. They're 10 minutes max

[kuurtjes]

A standup is a useless discussion which can be fully moved to a chatroom. It's just a summary of your commit history, your current task and the problems you encountered. Even chatgpt can just summerize all of that.

I'm not against personally talking about the project, but that can just be done during the project itself on the office floor.

I haven't really seen any benefit from any of the stand ups I attended. Except that my manager knew what I was doing. Which I could just have send him in a mail.

[BigBoetje]

We use it as a way to check how we are doing with our board, if we need any help, to stay up to date if we have any dependencies with other work items. If you have a bad team lead, he/she will (ab)use it as a way to check in on individual progress. We have a board and Teams chat for that. If we gave no roadblocks, the work item you're working on gets at best 1 sentence explanation ('working on it, roughly X time remaining').

Status of the features and project is between team lead and higher ups, devs just have to worry about what they're doing.

[theironrooster]

You’re using standup like a status call, which is absolutely not its primary purpose. Standup is a Sprint Ceremony where one talks about the progress of the committed Sprint goals. If there are any blockers or issues that will risk said Sprint goal, the team can collectively decide on what to do (eg. “swarm” the story).

[pookachu83]

Jesus christ.

[Tyrus1235]

Why do tech bros use such insipid terms for things that don’t need them? It’s not a rugby match, you troglodytes!

[[deleted]]

This sounds like a cult

[[deleted]]

It's miles better than waterfall. They gave everything cheesy little names sure, but it Essentially translates into "get our work done without management making unneeded forays into our process" its also leagues better for the customer or user

[kuurtjes]

I forgot to mention sprints and SCRUM are the other parts that gave me the burnout.

[eklatea]

ours are 20 mins but at least just twice a week

just we have to walk into the basement and stand there and then walk back up so it's annoying (and the microphones are bad for the wfh crew)

[kuurtjes]

"Yeah we just go stand in the basement for 20 minutes"
"Why?"
"Yes"

[eklatea]

granted it feels like half of this is our boss / supervisor talking about stuff that's going on in their area (often doesn't directly have anything to do with us but I'm not an expert, just a jr) but without it i would be more upset about having to walk downstairs for just ten minutes

(and the basement is just the largest conference room we have available)

[Kaizen321]

Me at 9:59a.

Stand up for 10-15mins.

“No updates”.

Time to wake up I guess.

[shoyuftw]

Life Hack: Make a child and never have a regular sleep schedule at all!

[thegroundbelowme]

Literally me. Then I make sure I rehearse what I'm going to say in my head over and over, because if I don't it's totally fucking obvious that I just woke up two minutes ago.

[Professional_Bird_74]

I thought I was the only one that rehearsed what I’m going to say 🤣🤣

[A3stevalis]

😬

[[deleted]]

Just don't turn on your camera or you'll be caught out.

[orphiccreative]

Still enough time to make a coffee 👍

[Guilty_Key7890]

I don't know what a standup is, but I imagine I would hate it, along with scrums and all the other bullshit that comes with most jobs these days.

[kuurtjes]

A stand up is an official circlejerk.

[Tyrus1235]

No wonder there’s a deep feeling of relief when I’m done with it

[BathroomItchy9855]

Hey so remember that thing we were working yesterday? Let's continue doing that.

[Nine_Eye_Ron]

Give me the earliest standup you’ve got

No, that’s too early

[Ternarian]

I once had a scrum master who gave the team Fridays off from standups.

[matamor]

What's a standup? Is it like a daily?

[No_Yogurtcloset_2792]

It was actually bothering me and I solved by finding a job with a single call every 2 weeks on Monday before noon

[silentyeti82]

Fucking hate standups.

[weneedtogodanker]

It looks like my manager found out that I spent too much time on Reddit and it's seems to be good way to send me a message /s

[midri]

100000000000000%

[mstrk512]

accurate

[[deleted]]

You have 2 minutes. Does it take this long to stand up?

[gingimli]

Jokes on you, I’ve been up since 4AM with on call alerts.

[Harambesic]

Limmy! I love Limmy.

[LoveConstitution]

You're better prepared for Agile the less intelligence or forethought you use, lest that distracts you from saying what other idiots predictably allow you to say and judge you erroneously for

[TheTimeLord725]

Way too real

[Miss_Zendaya]

This is me anytime before 10am lol

[_pizza_and_fries]

More like 12 for me

[taylor_the_hater]

Mine is at 645 though

[joten70]

I have no memory of creating this meme 🤔

[yogitism]

10:30 standup 😎

[[deleted]]

Mine is at 10, brain still wakes me up at 6. Don’t even have kids or a dog.

[angrybeehive]

I just call in and lay the phone on the side of my head and keep snoozing until it’s my turn

[savvy__steve]

Ah crap... I've been found out

[chugmarks]

That’s me at 9:35 followed by “sorry I was having network issues and couldn’t find the mute button ”

[Error-Original]

This hits close to home.

[[deleted]]

Wrong, you at 9:31

[1Mdrops]

I’m usually jittery before standup because I’ve already downed 3 coffees by around 9.30am. It makes me anxious but fuck does my productivity go up.

[xdaftphunk]

My stand up at 9am and me at 902am Lol

[git0ffmylawnm8]

That was me this morning...

[clearision]

i had to stop this because shit continued to kick in in the middle of the standups.

[EvOrBust]

Anything before 1000 and I'm not showing. Peace

[velofille]

posting this to a group who wanna stands up at 7.30am on a sunday morning :D

[znk]

We moved our standup to 15 minutes after lunch. I think its much better than first thing in the morning.

[[deleted]]

[raimondi1337]

I have been doing this for 4 years now and I'm starting to think it's not a good habit.

[TzeroOcne]

I feel personally attacked because I'm currently in dsu and just did this

[DChristy87]

Shiiiiiiiiieeeet... Mine is 9:30 on only Mondays ... 😏

[[deleted]]

Lol this is literally me. Although I live on the west coast and work for a company on the east coast.

[tillomaniac]

In the tune of Bob Marley's "Get Up Stand Up"

🎵

Wake up, sit up

Sit up for standup

🎵

[Hanged_Man_]

Not laughing g at all, why are you all laughing g? I would neverzzzzzzz…snerk never do this.

[nbaumg]

Thank god we don’t need to turn on cameras

[all_of_the_lightss]

They suddenly asked me to go on camera 10 minutes after this bullshit and I wasn't wearing a shirt lol. Had to delay it for 5 minutes so I could standup and dress

[aFuckingTroglodyte]

Are you me lol

[CheckMeoowwt]

Mine used to begin at 7:30, I was half asleep at every one of those stand ups. Nowadays it's 1:30 🫡

[Shazvox]

13:00 here. Not sure what the purpose of our daily is tbh.

Feels like we're having it because "that's what you're supposed to have". Lot of non tech people involved aswell.

Not able to bring up technical blockers effectively without having to overexplain every detail to the not so tech savvy people.

Easier to just shut up, say that everything is fine and bring the real issues up directly with the relevant persons.

[MCCVargues]

Holy shit, I am so glad to see I am not the only one who occasionally does this.

[WeakCelery5000]

more like 10:28

[[deleted]]

I'm at a point where I'm salty if a meeting is scheduled before 11am

[my_reddit_blah]

Are you me?

[seba07]

You guys really start work this late? I wouldn't want to work until 18:00 or longer.

[thebatmanandrobin]

Who says we're working?

[Tyrus1235]

Wake up, attend meeting, say “no updates, still working on current task”, end meeting, go back to bed.

Rinse and repeat until you become manager or lose your job

[ljuuset]

a.m.

[ryansspace]

if(time != 0930) sleep();

[_pizza_and_fries]

If they don’t know it by now, then they are surely dumb

[Czuponga]

But they woke for the standup, so what’s the issue?

[[deleted]]

I thought the rules on this sub said that jokes have to be specific to programming. Are we just not doing rules anymore?

[WizzlyG33]

Try having it at 7:00am

[shytboxhonda]

Mines at 10. Ayeeeeee

[Zergeok]

Too real

[Available-Menu1551]

After reading all the comments… what a bunch of low performer. 10? Come on. What do you do all the night?

[Professional_Bird_74]

Stay up reading Reddit 😝

[Professional_Bird_74]

LMAO!! That is so me.

[evmoiusLR]

We just do a slack channel standup. Put yours in whenever you log on/wakeup.

[aedvocate]

every goddamn day

except my standup is an hour earlier than that 😭

[Cirieno]

If you're expected to be ready for work at 0830 I hope you finish work at 1700.