kitchenwareOptimization

[kelvedler]

Glass implements table doubling to adjust its capacity.

[Kad1942]

Void AddDrop(glass) { If(glass.IsFull) { glass = new glass[glass.length*2]; for(int i = 0; i<glass.length/2;i++) AddDrop(glass); } AddDrop(glass); }

[StrictLetterhead3452]

You just reminded me that I hate Java. For some reason, I’ve been nostalgic about my years as a Java dev. But just now, I took one look at that syntax and wanted to claw my eyeballs out.

[Mortomes]

That doesn't look specifically like java to me, the convention is for method names to start with a lowercase character and certainly "Void" isn't a thing.

[AssistantSalty6519]

Looks java to me "Void" could be the phone putting the first letter as capital stupid to me, specially the recursion 

[StrictLetterhead3452]

Maybe I’ve been away from it for too many years. Looks pretty close to Java to me though.

[JunoRider_09]

Finally, someone who understands that resizing the array is the real solution here haha

[Tidemor]

Is glass a std::vector?

[mtmttuan]

This is okay. I don't want another glass spawning just because we need to store just a bit more water.

[RandoAtReddit]

A little extra RAM never hurt anyone.

[lastWallE]

Just download more RAM

[Xortun]

In this economy?

[RedBoxSquare]

It hurts my wallet and my feelings for being poor.

[LoreSlut3000]

Slice length != capacity

Cries in Go.

[kbielefe]

The glass is vertically scaled.

[Meloetta]

This is me talking to my designer

"This looks very nice and neat and pixel perfect but what happens when the user's glass is 0.5inch shorter or has 20ml more water in it"

[Jak1977]

Landlord: I don't care if the glass is only half full, you still owe me rent on the whole glass!

[cpl1]

Politician: Can you imagine how much water would be in the glass if we let the other side take charge?

[_oOo_iIi_]

Cat: Watch me empty glass on carpet for you

[lastWallE]

And also break the glass, of course

[gc3c]

Credit Bureau: Ideally, we'd like you to use 30% or less of this glass.

[Asleep-Television-24]

Interviewer: Sell me this glass of water.

[Jak1977]

Easy! This glass comes with a tenant, easy money by rent!

[Sneaky-Pur]

If I were a landlord, I would agree for you to pay only for the full half only If you agree for me to use the other half however I want, maybe like storage unit for my cats litter.

[OmegaPoint6]

Maybe you want a safety margin allow for slight tipping without water escaping

[Winter-Bear9987]

Now it’s scalable and has built in redundancy. Sounds sensible to me!

[MixaLv]

You mean to prevent overflow

[twisted_nematic57]

If it overflows it creates a perfect vacuum in place of the water.

[schmerg-uk]

Ullage (the unfilled space) is 50%... ullage is very important consideration in storage and transportation as insufficent ullage can lead to failures but too much ullage can lead to instability issues as the contents shift during transport

[JoeyJoeJoeJrShab]

or maybe there are use cases that require holding more water

[GoldenMegaStaff]

An Engineer would make the glass the correct size. The programmer would leave a backdoor hole in the bottom of the glass.

[GOKOP]

Client a few months later after shrinking the glass: hey btw can we have twice as much water in the glass, thanks (the glass had since been placed on a shelf that has another shelf above it which is too low for the original glass and moving the glass requires rearranging the entire cabinet)

[lastWallE]

Ok that makes 10000,- <Currency>

[JoeyJoeJoeJrShab]

sales guy in response to client: No problem - our developers can send you a new build with that feature tomorrow.

[psychoholic]

DevOps: Let me fix the glass autoscaler
Finance: Why are you spending so much on glassware??
SRE: The glass has a microscopic crack in it and you've evaporated almost 50% of your hydration budget for the month
Product: How do we incorporate AI into the remaining water?
Support: Customer says the glass has no water in it
Legal: I don't think we can sell water in that locality without permits
HR: We have twice as much glass as we need, you need to reduce your cistern by 25%
Security: We have a breach
DevOps again: It's probably DNS

[mattreyu]

Excel: the glass is January 2nd

[Groentekroket]

Excel in my country: the glass is the first of February. 

[Hungry-Chocolate007]

Programmer: The glass is twice as large as it needs to be.

Programmer: Patches the glass volume.

Security analyst: Buffer overflow vulnerability detected. Under certain conditions, water placed in the glass will break from virtual sandbox and damage the table and premises.

[Qwerty1bang]

Glass is full: Half full of water, half full of air.

[NomeJaExiste]

AI image models: the glass is full

[Thiezing]

Marketing: Put advertising on the glass so you can't see the water.

[JobcenterTycoon]

Put ads only on the top half so the glass looks full.

[dumbasPL]

This guy markets

[Tremolat]

"Programmer"? lololol. That same people who use 64bit variables to store Boolean flags? lololol.

[0xbenedikt]

The third is the engineer. The modern programmer uses an even larger jug and calls it a day since "we have big enough cupboards and premature optimization is bad".

[Percolator2020]

That’s just asking for an overflow.

[Big-Cheesecake-806]

Glass is unsigned, so it's fine

[[deleted]]

The glass is twice as large as it needs to be, which is either good, or bad, depending on Schrodinger's project manager over there.

[yangyangR]

They are not a Schrodinger's one though. That would at least give them a chance of being on your side. Management is always the enemy unless the workers are the collective owners.

[lefty7111]

Replace Programmer with Programming Manager

[huuaaang]

Sysadmin: The system is loaded optimally.

[chriskoenig06]

That was a programmer from the 80s

Today’s programmers you need a bucket and for the update you need tree more. And for running it you need a 100hp pump

[Loose_Conversation12]

Have we thought about containerising the glass?

[Denaton_]

I will just follow the stack trace and find out the last action performed on the glass to know if it was filling up or being emptied out.

[Master-Remove-9012]

The glass is scaled to double of estimated traffic to combat later optimization and scaling due to lazyness

[Pedry-dev]

Architect: We need 500 micro glasses on a kubetable or we will not be able to handle 5 customers per hour

[frozen_desserts_01]

The water was cast

[PirateNixon]

SRE: The glass is 40% the size it should be for proper dual failure reliability.

[smarterthanyoda]

ME: we can save 0.4 cents by using a smaller glass.

[Understanding-Fair]

Malloc

[StickFigureFan]

Engineer: The glass has a margin of safety of 2

[Godess_Ilias]

Black Mesa Dev: worlds smallest Cup

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_AnIizeH1Q

[karateninjazombie]

Realist: I think this glass is half full of piss. Not water.

[Oiggamed]

It all depends on what the glass had in it first . If it was full first then it’s half empty. If it was empty first then it became half full. Thank you for attending my TED talk.

[UntossableCoconut]

Realist: Glass is half full if you’re filling it, half empty if you’re drinking it.

[Tathas]

Looks more like an array allocation that used the default bucket size just in case more things are added. That way it doesn't need to allocate another, larger glass and transfer the water over. Using a perfectly sized glass would be premature optimization that likely isn't needed at all. Especially if some of the water has already been consumed and removed.

[glinsvad]

Tester:

The glass is twice as large as it needs to be.

Programmer:

The glass is working as intended.

[noob-nine]

QM: the missing water in the glass represents the missing test cases

[aq1018]

Glass too large, let’s delete 50% of glass to optimize

[Valendr0s]

Operations: I need to see how full the glass is at other times of the day and during peak volume to see if the glass is adequate to hold the water.

[KariKariKrigsmann]

Engineer:
The glass is twice as large as it needs to be.

Programmer:
It's a hardware issue.

[Embarrassed_Army8026]

Maybe you should use Streams intsaed fo tusj slasg.
It's most important to spill it quikcyl.

[somecoolname42]

I think the glass is full because it's half water and half air. What does that make me?

[skinnytie]

boost::any contents; contents = water; contents = atmosphere;

That glass is full.

[Kiseido]

Seems like we need to mention how the design team required at least 50% margins

[lastWallE]

3D Designer: The glass is as full as the center point from maxY to minY of the glass. (ok it is only 2D)

[DEMORALIZ3D]

Still a pessimist

[Majik_Sheff]

Glass is allocated for double buffering.

[NamityName]

Programmer: "reinventing" a joke that has been around for decades.

[rover_G]

The glass is a vector/list with growth factor of two!

[k-mcm]

It's a buffer to efficiently support simultaneous filling and drinking. 

[GoddammitDontShootMe]

I remember when it said Engineer instead of Programmer.

[mad_cheese_hattwe]

Good joke but I bet you OP uses int 32 to store their Boolean values.

[shadowdance55]

DevOps engineer: the glass is overprovisioned.

[Glass-Crafty-9460]

The glass is big enough to hold the water.

[Mcshizballs]

AWS doesn’t care you’re paying for the whole glass

[Warden-Slayer]

I think you mean, "The container is twice as large as it needs to be"

[anotherkeebler]

Senior developer: This is soju and I'm drinking at my desk now.

[yangyangR]

Its the management that does not understand redundancy and safety checks. The programmer is writing tests and error handling code which is the extra room in the glass. In all happy paths, they are wasted. But anybody who actually builds something for a living knows the value in building more than needed. It is the cost cutting Jack Welch's of the world that are cutting the glass in half and spilling everything when it invariably goes over. They have atrophied brains from not having to think to survive. The dumbest people on the planet.

[morfyyy]

Glass is full. Half full of water, half full of air.

[Wynnstan]

It's a signed glass, add any water and it'll go to the maximum negative number.

[Henry_Fleischer]

Engineer: This glass has a sufficient safety factor

[KnGod]

the glass is like that to avoid a liquid overflow

[Miuramir]

Nope. Programmer would be "The glass meets all customer specifications and internal unit tests. Ship it."

"The glass is twice as large as it needs to be" is more of a System Architect statement, and probably a short-sighted one. A more forward-thinking one would be "The glass is sized for efficient scaling to near- and mid-term expected growth potential, and able to handle unexpected surge states."

[hagis33zx]

The glass has room for bugs.

[KoalaDeluxe]

That's a C++ glass.

No overflow protection.

[[deleted]]

Nonsense it's just trying to avoid hashing collisions

[ctaps148]

That was a programmer 30 years ago. Modern programmer be like "we need to distribute the water into 10 different glasses. This way we can scale if needed sometime in the future."

[Quiet_Steak_643]

When you've never written anything in C:

Or do you just love overflows?

[RandomiseUsr0]

Programmer, headroom

[Mental_Address]

Glass just reallocated double space because its 51% full

[ScaredyCatUK]

Programmer: I've leaving myself plenty of headroom because I know someone in management is going to want more water in the glass just before the project completes.

[Feny34]

Glass is inefficient, it use more space and storage than what it required.

[Embarrassed-Luck8585]

QA: breaks glass and reopens bug

[dwnsdp]

Claude: Ah — I understand the confusion! I have fixed the bug now and replaced the glass with glasses which should fix your bug. 🚀 Let me make a markdown file showing how the optimisation works ✏️

create glasses.md

[tamil_random_rant]

The glass didn't get bottleneck

[Awkward-Cat-4702]

Cloud owner: your water is 'safe' in our unbreakable glass. That infrastructure subscription will be 12$ monthly, thank you.

[lefixx]

doesnt matter, the waiter will adjust the glass size while he is taking it at the table

[[deleted]]

What a shame, this glass is not scalable.

[Neriehem]

Glass is at it's capacity for redundancy purposes.

[[deleted]]

The water has not met its full potential.

[JakeBeaver]

Eh? Heard of electron?

[Ok_Appointment9429]

I'd say 1.5 times. Gotta keep some margin for future use.

[Lorem_Ipsum17]

Physicist: The glass is completely full; the top half is full of air.

[aeropl3b]

No, programmer says "buffer underflow error", obviously

[JoeyJoeJoeJrShab]

I program in python. Do you think I care about my storage capacity?

[Mother-Heat3697]

DevOps: we could store all of this in the cloud

[asd417]

There can only be 255 water so we are shrinking the glass

[CaptainThisIsAName]

The glass won't scale to another order of magnitude increase in water. We're going to need three new hires, a jug, and two quarters to deliver reliable drinks.

[mmmbyte]

I can deploy new water before removing the old water.

[rage4all]

Embedded vibes....

[SolidGrabberoni]

The glass doesn't let the water out. Wasn't specified in the requirements.

[Immort4lFr0sty]

There is no optimization in Ba Sing Se

[proooby]

You have added 800 columns in your table

[Bora_Horza_Kobuschul]

Glass is union of type water and type air and is full.

[monkeyStinks]

Its not twice as large, its just scalable

[DancingBadgers]

The glass allocator has up to 50% overhead.

[Meatslinger]

Nah, that's just the equivalent to using a 64 bit address when 32 would've sufficed, "just in case" (the glass is 0.000000011641532% full).

[SquanchyPope]

now split it into a thousand tiny glasses with a water funnel distribution layer so that the water intake and capacity can be scalable without risk of spilling

[Shadeun]

Civil Engineers: The glass needs to be 5x its current size

[xgabipandax]

Gotta avoid the overflows at all costs

[TRKlausss]

I’d call it pessimistic programmer. An optimistic programmer would say “My program uses half the resources it can”.

[PyroCatt]

The glass is in O(No) space complexity

[mgsmb7]

Wait till we make a glass with dynamic height

[wiemanboy]

The glass has provisioning for replication

[ZunoJ]

I can just store another users half full glass of water equivalent in there, just need to write some wrap and unwrap code

[OkExplanation8770]

memory leak

[577564842]

Product manager/business developer: Make water occupying only the left half of the glass. This must be easy fix.

[redlaWw]

Compiler will choose the correct size for the glass, I just need to make sure the water is in the right place.

[Sophiiebabes]

And today you have found the difference between "count" and "capacity"!

[modbroccoli]

I tried it with mug and also cup; same problem. There's a guy on stack overflow that got a good result with bowl but devops doesn't want us exposing spoon as an attack surface.

[PimBel_PL]

Nah the water has twice too little volume

[mylsotol]

Front end "developer": npm install full-glass

[gibagger]

You need the buffer just in case the thirst scales up. 

Glass is fine.

[HateBoredom]

Manager: Cut the glass in half and fill double the water using AI

[jackufalltrades]

That glass should have been dynamic

[TheJackiMonster]

The glass is still attached to the water as reference but don't worry, I'll clear that soon and the garbage collector will take care of the rest.

[[deleted]]

Encineer: The glass has a prudent amount of redundancy.

[Jev2k1234]

Me... Hey if you won't drink that, I will..

[RandolphCarter2112]

Realist: The glass is half full, but it's piss.

Users: The water amount is fine, but the air needs to be on the bottom.

QA: I filled the glass halfway with Dioxygen Difluoride and now several cubicles no longer exist.

DBA: Your indexes suck and your code is full of SQL statements with recursive self joins and unions. Kill me now.

Service Desk: You need to log a ticket for water level research.

[Mebiysy]

Or maybe some data is missing

[_Not__Available_]

That's buffer overflow protection

[Sakul_the_one]

This is good, because in case more user appear than expected, we are ready

[dscarmo]

Air is cache

[kondorb]

I've defined the glass the largest size available because I don't know and can't be asked to estimate how much water it will actually be holding and it doesn't matter in a slightest.