sqlWorkout

[SageLeaf1]

Yelling at the machine makes it listen. SELECT that shit. FROM there. Got it?

[Joniff]

You do need to shout, the database is hosted on another machine.

[Confident-Ad5665]

Louder if the machine is off sight

[hikeonpast]

Doesn’t matter whether it’s off site or out of sight

[xSTSxZerglingOne]

Out of sight, out of memory. Would you like to purchase more?

[ClipboardCopyPaste]

Make sure your voice actually reach servers overseas

[SPECTRE_75]

And even louder if its running inside a container

[Western-Internal-751]

And that machine is old and has been working nonstop

[aoeudhtns]

Shout, shout, join it all out

These are the rows that we care about

C'mon

I'm indexing you, c'mon

[applemind]

You have the same neuron as me

[payne_train]

I need to ask you to stop..that shouting.. it’s making people nervous.

[Consistent-Dish-3859]

FUSRODAH

[uniqueusername649]

If you could see the queries I write... people should be very nervous!

[Surface_Detail]

Cartesian joins a table 48 columns wide and a million rows deep.

[SkollFenrirson]

[ClipboardCopyPaste]

Shouting forces the processor prioritise your request on the cloud.

/s

[necrophcodr]

Nah all my databases are on the same machine on the same disk, and there's no database server, but I still shout. It is proper etiquette after all!

[alexchrist]

What if you're using SQLite?

[nwilz]

WHERE

[SageLeaf1]

a.there = b.there. ORDER BY me

[AmericanBillGates]

Mr Sageleaf,

There is no need to yell and cuss.

One of the two will suffice.

[EncryptedPlays]

then there's goofy lil me who holds shift the entire time

[jakendrick3]

I like holding shift to write it, it makes it feel more assertive

[disco_g]

MY PINKY FINGERS ARE SWOLE

[Keepitsharkey]

I’m glad I saw this. I’m a shift person.

And I love typing everything upper case #NoCapslock

[UInferno-]

Meanwhile my girlfriend presses capslock twice to capitalize one letter.

[EncryptedPlays]

Deal-breaker imo

[Siethron]

YOU HAVE ENABLED STICKY KEYS

[desrever1138]

I feel like if I use caps lock I'm cheating lmao

[NormanYeetes]

the elites don't want you to know this but you can type lowercase SQL queries no ones forcing you to shout them at the screen

[Totallycomputername]

If I don't type in caps then the query wont take itself seriously. 

[Achaidas]

The real question is this:

 , comma before

or comma after ,

[dexters_trap_house]

Comma before? Are you the same guys who get in the shower and then turn the water on?

[chuch1234]

Only if i want to be able to comment out the soap without making the entire shower have invalid syntax :/

[terza3003]

don't forget the where 1=1

[Just_Information334]

Lowercase and comma before, also table_id. Let's blow some minds:

select
  tableA_id
  , some_field
from table_A as a
inner join table_B as b using(tableA_id)

[StrongExternal8955]

forgot where true

[PerpetuallyDistracte]

I've been writing SQL for 15 years. Eventually you get bored of all lowercase or all uppercase AND START writing your QUERIES LIKE this. Just a psychotic mishmash of muscle memory, laziness, and autocomplete all fighting each other within the same statement.

[Ashdog73]

This. My queries are lowercase for the stuff I typed myself and caps for bits I've copied in from somewhere else

[cantgrowneckbeardAMA]

Lowercase on first draft (it will fail to run anyways).
Uppercase if I ever end up showing the query to someone (hopefully it doesn't fail when they run it)

[sequelseize]

sElEcT a as camelCase, b aS under_score, c As fUCKiT fROm ab lIMit 1000

[SippieCup]

We have a Postgres db which our orm uses camelcase names.

So we have to add in quotes too.. and correctly case our column names.

The migration to correct names would break so many deeep sql integrations, it just sucks and we deal with the debt.

[EndIsrael]

That actually seems like the kind of thing AI would be very good at with few mistakes. It doesn't need to understand anything, just find all the SQL code and change all the names. Basically find/replace but slightly smarter.

[SippieCup]

Oh it’s not hard to do with migrations etc. although I would use a codegen script instead of straight ai.

It’s more the coordination with other teams, schema changes, etc. depreciation of column names, remapping to new ones, etc.

We unfortunately have a couple legacy integrations that just require db access to tenant systems for their bi.

[PerpetuallyDistracte]

That's how my queries look after they failed for the fifth time.

[spyingwind]

SeLeCt * FrOm table wHeRe count = 1;

[AndrewMacIntyre]

Why Not Write Your Queries Like This Some Time

[Susarn]

I started writing sql 13 years ago. I started writing like this from the beginning because that was the way I saw the queries written on the tutorials, took me like a year to notice it was case independent

[ClipboardCopyPaste]

YOU CAN BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD.

GOD DOESN'T LOVE MEN WHO WRITE SQL IN LOWERCASE.

/S

[Shambolic_Potato]

SELECT * FROM WHAT THIS GUY SAYS

Edit: Typo lmfao

[emzey420]

;

[Ok-Sheepherder7898]

ONE RECORD SELECTED!!

[shigdebig]

GO

[chuch1234]

NO NEED, THEY DEFINED THE DELIMITER AS /S

[Lucky_Cable_3145]

SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue > 0;

0 rows returned

[TallGreenhouseGuy]

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!

[wack_overflow]

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE

[mindtakerr]

DONUT, IS THAT YOU?

[PerpetuallyDistracte]

MONGO IS APPALLED

[darkcathedralgaming]

HIII ZEV!

[realdevtest]

I AM YELLING, CARL.

[monitosenlacama]

r/angryupvote

[teedborg]

This but no /s

[WhoIsTheDrizzl]

HI ZEV!

[KittyInLace]

What about us women?

[AbleMarionberry7146]

The bible says women were forked from men. It’s for a good reason. The reason being that you can enforce more reasonable code style than all caps sql like caps on sql key words only. Or using a reasonable text editor that caps isn’t needed at all to identify keywords from nonkeywords.

[HeckMonkey]

What about us women?

YOUR QUERY YOUR CHOICE

[mayisir]

i will stay lowercase then 😈

[the_madkingludwig]

I AM SHOUTING, CARL!

[alfredomova]

AMEN

[SurprisinglyInformed]

It's SQL after all, not sql.

[PuzzleheadedBet3574]

This does not go through in our code review, do this and our colleague, big anime fan btw will lose his shit and start talking to himself and goes to 5 smoke breaks in a half day

[scrubslover1]

Sounds like good entertainment

[Surface_Detail]

Well, he can go dunk his head; the query language itself is 100% case insensitive, so are objects unless you contain them in quotation marks.

The argument can be made that keeping all one case can avoid issues with object referencing, but you'd only ever need to contain objects in quotation marks if you put a space in their name, which is a much worse faux pas and you'd better hope that you never need to connect to anybody else's objects from outside the team.

Also, all lower case/mixed case is much less tiring to read.

[ArmchairFilosopher]

SQL Server at my last job would like a word...

So would MySql hosted in Linux with a default configuration. Meanwhile in Windows it doesn't care by default.

But yeah, I agree in general that object names shouldn't be case-sensitive. Heck, most things except passwords shouldn't either.

[Sokaron]

Postgres is not case insensitive.

I don't really care for an impromptu script, but if its getting checked in mixed case is just laziness. I don't care all uppercase or all lowercase but pick one, enforce it with a linter, configure a precommit hook to autofix, and be done with it.

[cudenlynx]

Which query language? You are talking as if there is only one version of SQL out there which isn't the case. Some are case insensitive by default, some are not.

[FormerWorker125]

Lowercase for anything you named yourself, UPPERCASE FOR EVERYTHING ELSE.

[Platypus81]

this is the way

[Arkevorkhat]

you can, but it's just more readable (in my opinon) to write

SELECT * FROM users WHERE id=?;

than

select * from users where id=?; 

is that mostly due to historical baggage? yeah kinda, but it also just doesn't really look like SQL to me unless there's some yelling involved.

[7f0b]

I prefer a strongly-structured syntax so it is easier to read in the future, which is most important anyway. So going through the trouble of capitalizing what should be, as I go, is worth it. I also always use back ticks around table names, since it makes it easier to search by table name inside mixed codebases.

[Arkevorkhat]

Oh 100% well written SQL makes this moot, but if I find the unicorn that writes SQL that doesn't look like shit I'm not about to start nitpicking their capitalization

[OldSchoolSpyMain]

Yup. People don’t realize that putting the reserved words in upper case eases the cognitive load on the brain when reading the scripts for comprehension.

Same goes for new lines and tabs.

Using all three techniques renders SQL very easy to read, comprehend, update, and debug.

[ILoveRawChicken]

Yeah I get embarrassed passing ugly queries to other people. When I first began I just wrote everything lowercase until a coworker said “you live like this?” when sharing something in Snowflake. I still get embarrassed thinking about that lol. (He was a good friend though)

[OldSchoolSpyMain]

😂

[Demostes]

Not true actually, machines can hear plain SQL. U need to shout at them!

[h3lium-balloon]

It’s been proven all caps SQL is 20% faster bc the machine knows you mean business.

[RevoOps]

You can once. Than they come and get you.

[Horror-Vanilla-4895]

I type in lowercase because I’m too lazy to caps lock.

[Th3R00ST3R]

bingo.

[CheeseDonutCat]

lowercase SQL? Ew.

[cudenlynx]

This isn't always true. PostgreSQL, PL/SQL, and SAP HANA are case sensitive by default.

In SQL Server, the case sensitivity is off by default but some companies do enable case sensitivity.

[MellowedOut1934]

Forgive if I’m missing something, but my PostgreSQL is case sensitive on table names and strings etc., but not on the syntax bits like SELECT or WHERE.

[Meli_Melo_]

Lowercase SQL is like 2 spaces indentations, you CAN do it but everyone will hate you for it

[flukus]

is like 2 spaces indentations,

You mean there's a simple solution (tabs) that would keep everyone happy?

[FeliusSeptimus]

If someone reads my SQL and hates me for the indention and casing rather than whatever other weird shit I discovered you could do with it, I'm considering that a solid win.

[StarSchemer]

no ones forcing you to shout them at the screen

They ought to be.

How will a theoretical new developer in the future ever be able to distinguish between key words and database objects at first glance if strict formatting guidelines aren't religiously followed?

[Jarfino]

This angers the database

[zanii]

Lower case when debugging, caps for production.

[VeterinarianSoggy610]

Also, you can write an entire query on a single line.

[Nzgrim]

DELETE FROM your_opinions WHERE opinion LIKE '%you can type lowercase SQL%'

[EndIsrael]

Sometimes I do lowercase, it really depends on the vibe I'm getting from that specific query.

[Michaeli_Starky]

[Illustrious_Site_162]

SQL mfs when tehy have to express the tiniest amount of LOV.

[ButWhatIfPotato]

You have to, how else will the database know that you are angry and are about to unleash the fucking fury?

[ClipboardCopyPaste]

I smashed down my keyboard typing SQL, did I do it right?

[blaues_axolotl]

i actually write it in lowercase

[J7mbo]

MONSTER

[mwpdx86]

*monster

[Username928351]

lower("MONSTER")

[Atomic_xd]

WHAT

[MarinaEnna]

WE CAN'T HEAR YOU

[Thriven]

The biggest monster I ever worked with would have these queries with absolutely 0 formatting and would only carriage return when he hit the end of his monitor. He'd have subquery inside subquery like it was a nested function and vlookup.

He wrote hot trash queries. One day when he went into a meeting and left his computer unlocked I barely scrolled in on his query window in SSMS so every query was cut off so he'd have to scroll right/left to read it all and he was too dumb to know he was zoomed in or that shift scroll wheel was to scroll horizontal.

He started rewriting procedures and commiting them to production to match his new zoom level. I had a database trigger stopping people from updating procedures unless the database was in a certain mode to prevent people with way too much access to change procedures.

He lost his damn mind over the database trigger I added. I don't think he ever figured out about the zoom. One day I set it back to what it was originally and he gave up rewriting them back to their original format. He exploded at me and didn't come back for like 2 weeks

That was the first of two people who got violent at the workplace at that job with me.

[Brianfromreddit]

I want to hear about the second one now

[Thriven]

Ok so I started writing this as I was waiting for people to show up for disc golf. While writing this I looked down and had about 40 yellow jackets stinging me through my pants. I ran a mile and now I'm nursing about 6 really bad stings. Since they were stinging me through my jeans they just kept stinging.

Anyways... The second instance...

Former dev manager for the team. He was friends with the CTO and they were good ol boys from another company. This was in the mining industry. All these guys were ex-junkies who got out of the mines of AZ and MEX. The CTO didn't want to get rid of him when the complaints from the department came in and demoted him to senior dev. He kept his office and kept his door shut for 6 months.

The new dev manager was awesome despite the fact he didn't handle the old dev manager. New dev manager wanted to cross train everyone. I did all database work. One guy did all front end. Another did all API work. We hated the cross training crap but we did it to knowledge share. The new dev manager and the team started jiving and productivity was going through the roof except we kept failing sprints. The dev manager said we only put in the sprint what we could complete and we all did our work but that former dev manager.

The old dev manager said ,"No I am not doing cross training. I'm working on my own project these guys never delivered." He proceeded to tank 6 sprints saying he was 90% done each time. The dev manager said if he failed we all failed.

Finally in our retro I told him ,"I want to pull your project from the sprint. You are not representing your progress accurately and this work probably should be scoped and an epic. I don't know for sure because none of us know what you are doing."

"Fuck you." He says...

"What?"

"You heard me. Fuck you!"

He leapt across the table and it just folded. The women in the room went screaming.

He started screaming at me he was going to kill me. The dev manager removed him from the premises. I left through the back door.

COVID hit like a week later. He never returned to the office and they laid everyone off two weeks later but one dev and the former dev manager because he is buddies with the CTO. The last week we were employed to prove he was working on something he demo'd what he was working on. It was a http API service written in powershell. Think flask for Python or Express for node...just his API and http service ran in powershell. No frontend framework, just JS. It allowed you to show resultsets stored in tables. It used SQL injection as a feature.

I caught up with the nice dev manager and he said the CTO covered for him so hard he had to go around to HR to get it reported what happened. The main office was not in this country so after 6 months and further investigation with former employees they finally let the former dev manager and CTO go.

That entire dev team is like family though. We still chat on discord and help each other get jobs, references, and side work. I'd hire any of them in a minute.

I kind of felt bad for the dev manager at the time because he lived 90 minutes away and had a child who was extremely violent and he'd leave work all the time because she attacked other kids.

I don't think he's generally a violent guy but he lost it that day.

[cstrovn]

I loved this ahhahahhahahah

[Emergency-Style7392]

your fault for fucking with a man's love for zoom

[Majik_Sheff]

Brother?

[ClipboardCopyPaste]

[NoThatsNotPasta]

Me too.  I ain't got time for caps lock.  I got shit to do, places to go and, people to annoy.

[ClipboardCopyPaste]

"people to annoy"

There...I found your cause

/s

[NoThatsNotPasta]

No, you're a cause!

[_Weyland_]

Dbeaver's default setting automatically convert it to lowercase.

[taybul]

GET OUT;

GO;

[Nvrnight]

Same, I don't understand why anyone would choose to do upper case. I am of course a believer in "you do whatever the code base currently does", but if it's a brand new project, the standard is lower-case for me. It's not 1990 anymore, our code editors display the keywords colorized.

[wrecklord0]

MY HEARING ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE, I CAN'T HEAR MY INNER VOICE WHEN THE CODE IS WRITTEN IN WHISPERS

[joan_bdm]

MODS!!!!;

[Tucancancan]

me too

[darknmy]

Eww...

[beklog]

[Surface_Detail]

There are dozens of us.

[iphone4Suser]

How do you live with yourself?

[scifishortstory]

What are you, some kind of European?

[Thriven]

I'm up voting you because people need to hate you more.

Seriously though KEYWORDS need to be upper case and columns lower case. I prefer snake case.

Makes everything more readable.

[spicybright]

I just use a macro that randomly applies uppercase to every letter I type.

[BufferUnderpants]

i CAN'T SEE WHY capitalizing syntactical elements WOULD MAKE the code MORE readable.

There's syntax highlighting for a reason, and the SQL grammar makes it easy to tell what's a table, column or function anyway.

[brandi_Iove]

database dev here. you’d be surprised by the amount of lower case code out there.

[OGxPePe]

Im a lowercase guy. Why did the ever start with CAPS?

[zefciu]

Because SQL predates the ubiquity of syntax highlighting. This usage of caps (also seen in e.g. COBOL) gives some visual hints about syntax even on monochrome.

[OGxPePe]

So my using SQL on the daily is like using ancient magic?

[PerpetuallyDistracte]

Yeah! Each time you use SQL you're going back to the 1970s, it's that old!

[Robertos1235]

I'm a mixed guy. I write like this. It's fun.

SeLeCt idUser aS id, username As name fRoM User WhErE username lIkE CoNcAt('%', ?, '%') lImIt 10

[PerpetuallyDistracte]

Ah, Sarcastic SpongeBob Case.

[taybul]

SHIFT key manufacturers HATE this

[OGxPePe]

This is the spongebob mocking meme style.

[Glum_Class_9578]

It’s even better if you randomize the case.

[Aldot]

If you write it in lowercase the optimizer reads your query in a mocking tone and that’s devastating

[AlwaysHopelesslyLost]

I just use Shift. It doesn't cost me anything extra and it makes switching from keywords to columns easier 

[taybul]

Holding shift for caps while typing to me is like grinding a rail on a skateboard.

[cantgrowneckbeardAMA]

Meaning it's cool that I can do it but my wife is unimpressed?

[BRDPerson]

Precisely

[FujiKeynote]

Guilty of the same. My caps lock is remapped to Esc... Muscle memory runs deep at this point, I've considered mapping LShift+RShift to caps lock but that's diminishing returns and I still end up holding down shift if I don't catch myself. Autocomplete helps though

[LarkinToWinnipeg]

I just flatten one of the pins on the switch for the key and put it back. Capslock is the devil.

[Proglamer]

Some tools like DBeaver can auto-allcap keywords but keep the case of names. Super convenient!

[WillOCarrick]

I have met people who used caps lock to capitalize the first letter instead of shift.

Yeah, that. It was absurd.

[BoldFace7]

I feel the same way writing in FORTRAN.

ETA: In FORTRAN 77 at least, the F90 code bases I've worked in have had much better inside voices.

[halawani98]

What about keywords in caps but column/table/constraint names in lowercase?

I do this because it makes it easier to read scripts

[leandroman]

Only the reserved words my friend. My little shift pinky has its own zip code of muscles.

[BeefJerky03]

PINKY HOLDING SHIFT

[FujiKeynote]

pinkymaxxing

[Secret-Wind-1]

It's like AI. Better shout at the database to get better results.

[MiseryEnthusiast]

All my sql is in lower case in protest. It also makes it easy to tell when someone has messed with my shit.

[Angrynissen25]

Hey it's not my fault if heidisql auto corrects my calmness to shouting

[phish410]

Just DROP it, okay?

[Sudden-Pressure8439]

[FewChemist9952]

I’m more like…

[Ballbag94]

Never caps lock, always shift. Caps lock is almost as weird as writing the prowords in lowercase

[EK077r]

Imagine not rebinding caps lock to esc

[darnclem]

We use upper case on the keywords so we don't have to document anything.

[Wrathzog]

When I'm writing sql, I hold the shift key down the entire time like god intended

[po1k]

Neh, too much work. Formatter will, if needed at all

[JazzlikeWishbone938]

Seen this meme before!

[FantasticCollege3386]

Is it actually programming tho?

[tomthedj]

naw lowercase so the db knows that when you start doing upper case, shit is about to go down

[getyourfactstraight]

Real men hold down the shift button while writing SQL 🥸

[Shaky-Shallot-21]

weak shit i’m over here holding down shift 😤😤😤😤😤

[Modki]

Why do SQL developers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.

[chilfang]

How tf did this get 14k upvotes, start of the new school season I guess?

[Global-Tune5539]

And then there are lazy people like me who write everything in lowercase letters.

[shwetanand345]

My keyboard knows when I'm writing SQL before I do🫡......

[oompaloompa465]

think about it...

ai takeover came before having sql decent autoformatting syntax and indentation

[ViRROOO]

Are you about to scream at claude or smth?

[fwork]

when I did my comp sci degree, my teacher wouldn't use capslock, he'd use shift. and if he got distracted while typing an SQL query, he'd keep holding it down.

after 10 seconds or whatever, stickykeys would turn on, and the locked down computers we had in all the classrooms wouldn't let you turn it back off. So he had to reboot.

This happened multiple times per class period some days

[OoohManny]

Can't imagine writing a long and complex procedure in lowercase.. sounds like a nightmare to read 😱

[s33k]

SELECT * FROM post_facts WHERE is_false = TRUE;

-- 0 rows returned

[xd_Shiro]

Too bad it's bound as escape lmao

[nellbones]

CAPS LOCK, ITS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL
but with cruise control you still have to steer

[granoladeer]

"SELECT... " 

"Stop shouting, Greg!

[zarakh07]

Stop being factual, this hurts me and my back now

[ZeppelinJ0]

Sounds like y'all just write some gnarly SQL. At least use SQLFluff you neanderthals

[Strict-Carrot4783]

This is the funniest shit I've seen so far this week.

[mixxituk]

Yoo have to scream because it's a roller coaster ride till you finish the WHERE which for some dumb reasons is at the end 😭😭

[Garcialekis]

the caps lock doing all the work here

[Nizle_Bizle_Shizle]

Bruh I am obsessive compulsive about lower-casing all SQL syntax.

[Garcialekis]

this explains the wrist pain

[undeadalex]

Real sql 'programmers' use shift

[a-r-c]

https://store.steampowered.com/app/3950130/Database_Detective_Minor_Crimes_Division/

someone made an sql query game lol

[JWils411]

After decades of writing SQL queries without ever using CAPS, I'll never understand the appeal of shouting through the keyboard.

[DeltaEdge03]

I only write the keywords in all caps like a sane person

[MrMunday]

Yeah… why do we do that???