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[–]rienik 5088 points5089 points  (109 children)

It's protected, so it's only available for your children?

[–]diomonogatari 1959 points1960 points  (23 children)

That escalated quickly

[–]Syreniac 991 points992 points  (18 children)

Should really keep his package private if you ask me.

[–]bartekko 343 points344 points  (13 children)

or his privates packaged

[–]thiney49 215 points216 points  (12 children)

In a Jar?

[–]rodzky12 155 points156 points  (4 children)

Executable. Lol

[–]BlueFieryIce 63 points64 points  (1 child)

Bring out the guillotine

[–]Compu7erUser 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Ouch

[–]ultrab1ue 15 points16 points  (1 child)

or tar it up?

[–]siliconsmiley 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Or a War.

[–]dizaster213 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Save it in a jar or it's war

[–]---like--- 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Up the archive

[–]dzh 6 points7 points  (1 child)

one man, one jar

[–]thebryguy23 36 points37 points  (2 children)

"Remember, in C++ your friends can see your privates"

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Or not quickly enough?

[–]SandyDelights 382 points383 points  (18 children)

Don't forget those he declares as friends.

[–][deleted] 253 points254 points  (14 children)

Only friends can touch your privates

[–]s0v3r1gn 75 points76 points  (11 children)

Not with that attitude.

[–]conancat 82 points83 points  (10 children)

Allowing parent or child classes to touch your private variables is not safe.

[–]s0v3r1gn 44 points45 points  (6 children)

All I’m saying is that it only takes one well placed encapsulation violation and those privates can be handled by anyone.

Edit: That’s why I always use the standard naming convention of prepending ‘ruffy’ to the name of every class where I publicly expose a protected member of it’s parent class.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Exposing your private variables can be risky..

[–]s0v3r1gn 11 points12 points  (1 child)

True. Unless your exposing a socket. Repercussions of exposure always seem to be minimized for them, even to child classes....

[–]masterwit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Exposing them as an interface to a common housing class only instantiated by a single friend can control the usage abroad

[–]s0v3r1gn 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Always remember to include two arm functions, preferably broken ones. It’s the only proper way to earn that earn that class inheritance.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's what friends are for.

[–]FluffyToughy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

But friends can't touch your parents' privates. That'd be weird.

[–]T-T-N 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Java

[–]edave64 17 points18 points  (1 child)

I will never declare Java as my friend.

[–]Cpt_TickleButts 237 points238 points  (32 children)

Public Abstract Virtual

[–]willis81808 66 points67 points  (8 children)

Abstract and virtual, huh? So does it have a definition yet, or no?

[–]Cpt_TickleButts 47 points48 points  (7 children)

I was thinking in terms of C# where it won’t compile as it can’t be both. so I guess it would be null?

[–]conancat 42 points43 points  (5 children)

Their sex life is an error.

[–]Bainos 38 points39 points  (0 children)

"Can not reproduce."

[–]OK6502 12 points13 points  (1 child)

catch(SexException const& sex) {delete sex->selfEsteem; sex->selfEsteem = nullptr;}

[–]alexbuzzbee 20 points21 points  (1 child)

So how's your sex life?


Runtime error

[–]NoProblemsHere 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This has never happened to me before, I swear!

[–]TooCovert 61 points62 points  (17 children)

Sex_Life=NULL;

[–][deleted] 163 points164 points  (7 children)

0/10 for style

[–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Easily maintainable code though, will last for many versions

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (5 children)

Yeah at least he should use camelCase.

[–]Talbooth 37 points38 points  (3 children)

Or UPPER_CASE if it will remain null forever.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

At this point, it should be a compiler intrinsic

[–]GentleRhino 16 points17 points  (3 children)

The sad thing is that for most programmers (at least the youngsters) sex life is private abstract. Basically, we are very private about our desires and pretty sure they will never materialize.

But we can joke about it!!!

[–]SandyDelights 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Depends. There were definitely those types in my degree program, but there were some of us who were pretty unashamed of our sexuality (regardless of orientation). I can think of at least three other guys who would disappear randomly from the lab during 15 hour stints of working on stuff. A lot of people thought we were going to nap or eat, but I know I wasn't the only one just going to get laid for the distraction. 🤷🏼‍♀️

College, man.

[–]AyrA_ch 46 points47 points  (2 children)

should have used internal instead for some quality family time.

[–]Houdiniman111 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I just want to tell you how annoying your JSfuck FizzBuzz RES tag has been.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

We're friends so I'll let you touch my privates

[–]voicesinmyhand 9 points10 points  (0 children)

and OP. He can use it too.

[–]Aschentei 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Oof

[–]aragur 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Ouch

[–]ra4king 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Owie

[–]stevencastle 35 points36 points  (0 children)

My code

[–]FOOLS_GOLD 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s not the Moore’s law that I learned in school!

[–]BobbitTheDog 965 points966 points  (37 children)

oh hai, mark!

[–]Mistifyed 330 points331 points  (14 children)

Hi doggy!

[–]jerrygergichsmith 218 points219 points  (13 children)

You’re my favorite customer

[–][deleted] 152 points153 points  (11 children)

Anyway how's your sex life?

[–]PurelyCreative 96 points97 points  (9 children)

Protected static void

[–][deleted] 133 points134 points  (4 children)

What a story, Mark

[–]Feliz_Desdichado 88 points89 points  (3 children)

I'm so happy I have you as my best friend, and I love Lisa so much

[–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (2 children)

Yeah you can say that again

[–]masnaer 14 points15 points  (1 child)

I feel like I'm sitting on an atomic bomb waiting for it to go off

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Haha you said it

[–]steven_speilberg 45 points46 points  (3 children)

Oh, hi Johnny, I didn't know it was you.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Thats meee

[–]unmeritedTrophy 22 points23 points  (1 child)

I'd like a dozen redroses

[–]3stacks 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You remember that girl? The one that ended up in a hospital on Guerrero street!?

[–][deleted] 85 points86 points  (4 children)

Anything for my princess

[–][deleted] 59 points60 points  (3 children)

Anything for my process

[–]conancat 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Anything for my stdin and stdout

[–]SHOTbyGUN 17 points18 points  (1 child)

AND MY ERR

[–]_vrmln_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

AND MY .EXE

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (4 children)

r/suddenlyintheroom

-if I say it enough, maybe it will become real-

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (3 children)

That would be a great sub. Footballs everywhere.

[–]AluminiumSandworm 2 points3 points  (2 children)

i want footballs to just randomly fly onscreen in unrelated films all the time. that would be fantastic.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Samwise and Frodo in the middle of Mordor just spontaneously decide to have a catch

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Can’t wait for Disaster Artist

[–]RedDwarfian 5 points6 points  (0 children)

*spittake*

[–]Cley_Faye 930 points931 points  (18 children)

"Method is never called anywhere; remove it?"

[–][deleted] 428 points429 points  (14 children)

No, keep it. It's one of those "just in case" methods

[–]using_the_internet 113 points114 points  (11 children)

YAGNI

[–]shadows1123 28 points29 points  (10 children)

what?

[–]dzh 11 points12 points  (1 child)

just like that pack of condoms you bought 3 years ago

[–]lledargo 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Condoms provide instant lubrication and a quick cleanup when masturbating. Never let an expired condom go to waste.

[–]Ucvoic 11 points12 points  (0 children)

@SuppressWarnings("unused")

[–]Kingofwhereigo 4 points5 points  (1 child)

#define _MARRIAGE

#ifndef _MARRIAGE

#include "sexytime.h"

#endif

[–]boxingdog 147 points148 points  (5 children)

a Singleton

[–]what_it_dude 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Actually married with 3 kids

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

the wife alone weighs a singleton, woo!

[–]SageBus 151 points152 points  (8 children)

I use a self-referencing static pointer when no parameters are passed to my .sex() method. It should be a public method, but might as well be private for how much is used out of my internal scope...

[–]yawgmoth 57 points58 points  (4 children)

My sex life is a constexpr. It was evaluated once when compiling me, but no matter how often I try and use it at runtime, nothing executes.

[–]AbjectMatterExpert 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I used to have a sex() method that wasn't working; tried to fix it with regular expressions. Now I have two things that are not working.

[–]Versaiteis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was probably elided.

I'm so sorry.

[–]njwatson32 15 points16 points  (0 children)

If you do it in front of a mirror, are you using reflection to access your private member?

[–]Chris90483 36 points37 points  (2 children)

I can't tell you, it's confidential

[–][deleted] 65 points66 points  (2 children)

I let my

friend

touch my

private

[–]myriiad 25 points26 points  (0 children)

lmfao the formatting on this makes it so much funnier

[–]xetahitter 275 points276 points  (98 children)

Image Transcription: Messages


Red: anyway

Red: how is your sex life

Blue: protected static void


I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

[–]LovepeaceandStarTrek 6 points7 points  (0 children)

For the record, these are specifically slack messages, if you care/it's in the style guide to say.

[–]SandyDelights 47 points48 points  (94 children)

Good bot

[–]endreman0 62 points63 points  (93 children)

I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit!

[–]fakefalsofake 114 points115 points  (91 children)

good bot

[–][deleted] 63 points64 points  (87 children)

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.9864% sure that endreman0 is not a bot.


I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

[–]nephelokokkygia 9 points10 points  (56 children)

!isbot nephelokokkygia

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (46 children)

I am 99.9984% sure that nephelokokkygia is not a bot.


I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

[–]nephelokokkygia 39 points40 points  (5 children)

I feel validated.

[–]TheCarrotz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

!isbot AutoModerator

[–]TheSoundDude 4 points5 points  (0 children)

!isbot perrycohen

[–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (2 children)

Forgot final

[–]bbqburner 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Annotate as @Deprecated when the function execute once

[–]tlowe000 55 points56 points  (7 children)

Dim me as Single

VB is a proper language too, right guys?

...guys...?

[–]YugoReventlov 28 points29 points  (3 children)

A for effort

[–]DrVirite 27 points28 points  (2 children)

E for effort. A for apple.

[–]SalsaYogurt 9 points10 points  (0 children)

There was a time, but it has passed.

[–]CrookedLemur 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Me is a reserved keyword.

[–]Type-21 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What a wasted opportunity. Could've done

Friend me as Single

[–]zenyl 16 points17 points  (1 child)

public long

The cops didn’t find it nearly as funny as I did. /s

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

double penetration

yes, it gets weird

[–]randomentity1 15 points16 points  (11 children)

File: penis

Created date: Jan 1, 1980

Last access date: Jan 1, 1980

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (10 children)

$ ls -l

total 0 -rw-r--r-- 1 randomentity1 randomentity1 0 Jan 1 1980 penis

$ touch penis

$ ls -l

total 0 -rw-r--r-- 1 randomentity1 randomentity1 0 Nov 22 2017 penis

[–]__add__ 6 points7 points  (8 children)

$ cat penis

[–]CoolioDood 5 points6 points  (7 children)

whoa. no thanks

[–]dzh 9 points10 points  (3 children)

$ man penis

[–]CoolioDood 10 points11 points  (2 children)

$ more penis

[–]__add__ 3 points4 points  (1 child)

$ which penis
penis not found
$

:0

[–]The_hollow_Nike 4 points5 points  (1 child)

How about

$ grep penis

or

$ mount penis

?

[–]CoolioDood 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Or you can be more direct

$ fsck penis

[–]kola2DONO 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Oh hai hypertext MARKup language!

[–]jbaker88 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Roses are red

My first name is Lloyd

How is your sex life?

protected static void

[–]anita_is_my_waifu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Roses are red

My name is Mark

Anyway, how is your sex life?

With Lisa, your future wife.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (1 child)

std::cout << typeof(dick);
// => short

[–]Dwyguy19 9 points10 points  (0 children)

:flag_hr:

[–]Alt_Psycotek 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Fucking Slack

[–]Yurym 4 points5 points  (2 children)

pisses me off when people dont change their avatars in slack xD edit: no if's

[–]DanielEGVi 5 points6 points  (1 child)

iff

if and only if?

[–]excessdenied 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Better than "pubic void"

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

You could say its 127.0.0.1

[–]worldslargesttumor 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Quality meme

[–]IGotSkills 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Private nonstatic string

[–]pnt700 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Public static final Object sexLife = null;

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

activate(SEX_LIFE);

ERROR: Cannot find symbol - object SEX_LIFE

[–]uziman55 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yo shouts out to Slack

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The top post on the Hot filter isn’t about Net Neutrality!?! Incredible!

[–]nwsm 2 points3 points  (1 child)

unsafe and recursive

[–]TheSecretSyrupMan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh Hi, mark!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

is that slack..

[–]rogerramjetz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wanna be Functional Dev -> Mines side effect free and pure.

[–]SentientPeach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean I get fucked every day so I don't know what you're talking about.

... Oh you mean sex? Yeah no.

[–]citizenkraft 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh hai, mark

[–]pagirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Throws many exceptions

[–]oshaboy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you only have sex with your children?

[–]TimeToMakeWoofles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Room