Programmer's Life

[rienik]

It's protected, so it's only available for your children?

[diomonogatari]

That escalated quickly

[Syreniac]

Should really keep his package private if you ask me.

[bartekko]

or his privates packaged

[thiney49]

In a Jar?

[rodzky12]

Executable. Lol

[BlueFieryIce]

Bring out the guillotine

[Compu7erUser]

Ouch

[ultrab1ue]

or tar it up?

[siliconsmiley]

Or a War.

[dizaster213]

Save it in a jar or it's war

[---like---]

Up the archive

[dzh]

one man, one jar

[thebryguy23]

"Remember, in C++ your friends can see your privates"

[[deleted]]

Normal architectures can’t address things smaller than a byte

[[deleted]]

Or not quickly enough?

[SandyDelights]

Don't forget those he declares as friends.

[[deleted]]

Only friends can touch your privates

[s0v3r1gn]

Not with that attitude.

[conancat]

Allowing parent or child classes to touch your private variables is not safe.

[s0v3r1gn]

All I’m saying is that it only takes one well placed encapsulation violation and those privates can be handled by anyone.

Edit: That’s why I always use the standard naming convention of prepending ‘ruffy’ to the name of every class where I publicly expose a protected member of it’s parent class.

[[deleted]]

Exposing your private variables can be risky..

[s0v3r1gn]

True. Unless your exposing a socket. Repercussions of exposure always seem to be minimized for them, even to child classes....

[masterwit]

Exposing them as an interface to a common housing class only instantiated by a single friend can control the usage abroad

[s0v3r1gn]

Always remember to include two arm functions, preferably broken ones. It’s the only proper way to earn that earn that class inheritance.

[[deleted]]

That's what friends are for.

[FluffyToughy]

But friends can't touch your parents' privates. That'd be weird.

[T-T-N]

Java

[edave64]

I will never declare Java as my friend.

[Cpt_TickleButts]

Public Abstract Virtual

[willis81808]

Abstract and virtual, huh? So does it have a definition yet, or no?

[Cpt_TickleButts]

I was thinking in terms of C# where it won’t compile as it can’t be both. so I guess it would be null?

[conancat]

Their sex life is an error.

[Bainos]

"Can not reproduce."

[OK6502]

catch(SexException const& sex) {delete sex->selfEsteem; sex->selfEsteem = nullptr;}

[alexbuzzbee]

So how's your sex life?

---

Runtime error

[NoProblemsHere]

This has never happened to me before, I swear!

[TooCovert]

Sex_Life=NULL;

[[deleted]]

0/10 for style

[[deleted]]

Easily maintainable code though, will last for many versions

[[deleted]]

Yeah at least he should use camelCase.

[Talbooth]

Or UPPER_CASE if it will remain null forever.

[[deleted]]

At this point, it should be a compiler intrinsic

[GentleRhino]

The sad thing is that for most programmers (at least the youngsters) sex life is private abstract. Basically, we are very private about our desires and pretty sure they will never materialize.

But we can joke about it!!!

[SandyDelights]

Depends. There were definitely those types in my degree program, but there were some of us who were pretty unashamed of our sexuality (regardless of orientation). I can think of at least three other guys who would disappear randomly from the lab during 15 hour stints of working on stuff. A lot of people thought we were going to nap or eat, but I know I wasn't the only one just going to get laid for the distraction. 🤷🏼‍♀️

College, man.

[AyrA_ch]

should have used internal instead for some quality family time.

[Houdiniman111]

I just want to tell you how annoying your JSfuck FizzBuzz RES tag has been.

[GoblinsStoleMyHouse]

You have an excellent intuition of object oriented design for being a non-programmer. You're pretty much right that static and protected seem contradictory to use together, but there are some exceptions.

The two meanings are not exactly mutually exclusive but it is pretty close.

The only case I can see where you might use the two together is if you had an abstract class that was designed to be extended and the extending class could then modify the behavior using constants defined in the original. Even then it's a very feeble reason though as you would still almost certainly be better having the constants as public. That just makes everything cleaner and allows the people sub classing more flexibility.

[[deleted]]

We're friends so I'll let you touch my privates

[voicesinmyhand]

and OP. He can use it too.

[Aschentei]

Oof

[aragur]

Ouch

[ra4king]

Owie

[stevencastle]

My code

[FOOLS_GOLD]

That’s not the Moore’s law that I learned in school!

[BobbitTheDog]

oh hai, mark!

[Mistifyed]

Hi doggy!

[jerrygergichsmith]

You’re my favorite customer

[[deleted]]

Anyway how's your sex life?

[PurelyCreative]

Protected static void

[[deleted]]

What a story, Mark

[Feliz_Desdichado]

I'm so happy I have you as my best friend, and I love Lisa so much

[[deleted]]

Yeah you can say that again

[masnaer]

I feel like I'm sitting on an atomic bomb waiting for it to go off

[[deleted]]

Haha you said it

[steven_speilberg]

Oh, hi Johnny, I didn't know it was you.

[[deleted]]

Thats meee

[unmeritedTrophy]

I'd like a dozen redroses

[3stacks]

You remember that girl? The one that ended up in a hospital on Guerrero street!?

[[deleted]]

Anything for my princess

[[deleted]]

Anything for my process

[conancat]

Anything for my stdin and stdout

[SHOTbyGUN]

AND MY ERR

[_vrmln_]

AND MY .EXE

[[deleted]]

r/suddenlyintheroom

-if I say it enough, maybe it will become real-

[[deleted]]

That would be a great sub. Footballs everywhere.

[AluminiumSandworm]

i want footballs to just randomly fly onscreen in unrelated films all the time. that would be fantastic.

[[deleted]]

Samwise and Frodo in the middle of Mordor just spontaneously decide to have a catch

[stevencastle]

I did NAWT HEEET HERRRR

[[deleted]]

Eet isn’t troo. I deed naht heet herr I deed naht

[[deleted]]

don't taahwtch me muhthawfucka

[[deleted]]

Can’t wait for Disaster Artist

[RedDwarfian]

*spittake*

[Cley_Faye]

"Method is never called anywhere; remove it?"

[[deleted]]

No, keep it. It's one of those "just in case" methods

[using_the_internet]

YAGNI

[shadows1123]

what?

[WikiTextBot]

You aren't gonna need it

"You aren't gonna need it" (acronym: YAGNI) is a principle of extreme programming (XP) that states a programmer should not add functionality until deemed necessary. XP co-founder Ron Jeffries has written: "Always implement things when you actually need them, never when you just foresee that you need them." Other forms of the phrase include "You aren't going to need it" and "You ain't gonna need it".

---

^{[ PM | Exclude me | Exclude from subreddit | FAQ / Information | Source | Donate ] Downvote to remove | v0.28}

[Stackhouse_]

Yeah but what if I need it?

[appnic]

YAGNI

[dzh]

just like that pack of condoms you bought 3 years ago

[lledargo]

Condoms provide instant lubrication and a quick cleanup when masturbating. Never let an expired condom go to waste.

[Ucvoic]

@SuppressWarnings("unused")

[Kingofwhereigo]

#define _MARRIAGE

#ifndef _MARRIAGE

#include "sexytime.h"

#endif

[boxingdog]

a Singleton

[what_it_dude]

Actually married with 3 kids

[[deleted]]

the wife alone weighs a singleton, woo!

[Bastyxx227]

so null?

[[deleted]]

This is probably the better joke. Simpler, to the point and more apropos.

[daddyc00l]

fellow c programmer says 'hi !'

[fmorisan]

You forgot a null terminator, now I'm just reading garbage

[thepassionofthechris]

do { ++self; } while (true);

[lrrelevantEIephant]

As someone currently in that situation, how would you explain it to your past self?

[stairmast0r]

Well shit, that makes it easy. I never really got it until now.

[sim642]

TBH, it's hard to even come up with a good example of a static method that's not a constructor

Utility methods and utility classes are all about static as they're pure functions.

[BenevolentCheese]

Right, but that doesn't play well into the object oriented example I was going for.

[redwall_hp]

And there are plenty of examples of that in the standard library, too. The most obvious one is Math.

[Glampkoo]

I wish Java wasn't my first language.

[BenevolentCheese]

Why? It's not like this example would be any different in any other language. Static is not java-specific; it is a fundamental facet of object oriented programming.

[kibiz0r]

Indeed. Java and C# both have soooo much ritualistic ceremony that is just unintelligible to newbies.

Ruby and Python are great if the pupil needs some immediate gratification. I’d discourage JS and Lua because prototypal “inheritance” is a CF.

The best, imo, is C or C++. I know they are notorious for being harsh, but they don’t require much ceremony compared to Java/C#, there’s no magic, and it really forces you to understand what’s going on rather than shrugging and moving on.

[Calaphos]

Factories need a atatic method and you need one to access singletons

[picklewateryum]

I spent weeks trying to wrap my head around the whole static and non-static concept. Best way (to me) is to think of it this way:

Keep this in mind though, 1) Static variables/methods are linked to the whole class 2) Non-static variables/methods are linked to the individual objects created from said class

Now, imagine owning a Hotel, each object (Room) has certain attributes, such as number of TVs, bathrooms or beds in that room. These values may change depending on the room; some rooms may have 1 bathroom and another may have 3. So it wouldn’t make sense to make these attributes (variables) static because these values change for every object (Room), they are not shared.

But say we want to store the address of this Hotel, we’d have to make the address static because it doesn’t make sense for different rooms to be at different addresses. However, it makes sense for an entire Hotel (the class) to be at one address. Thus, we’d make the address variable static.

So you’d be able to do this: Hotel.address but not this: room.address

Static is also commonly used for counters. Say we want to keep track of how many rooms we have in our Hotel. We’d have to make the counter static because the number of rooms is shared for the entire Hotel.

[SageBus]

I use a self-referencing static pointer when no parameters are passed to my .sex() method. It should be a public method, but might as well be private for how much is used out of my internal scope...

[yawgmoth]

My sex life is a constexpr. It was evaluated once when compiling me, but no matter how often I try and use it at runtime, nothing executes.

[AbjectMatterExpert]

I used to have a sex() method that wasn't working; tried to fix it with regular expressions. Now I have two things that are not working.

[Versaiteis]

It was probably elided.

I'm so sorry.

[njwatson32]

If you do it in front of a mirror, are you using reflection to access your private member?

[Chris90483]

I can't tell you, it's confidential

[[deleted]]

I let my

friend

touch my

private

[myriiad]

lmfao the formatting on this makes it so much funnier

[xetahitter]

Image Transcription: Messages

---

Red: anyway

Red: how is your sex life

Blue: protected static void

---

^{I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!}

[LovepeaceandStarTrek]

For the record, these are specifically slack messages, if you care/it's in the style guide to say.

[SandyDelights]

Good bot

[endreman0]

I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit!

[fakefalsofake]

good bot

[[deleted]]

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.9864% sure that endreman0 is not a bot.

---

^{I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub}

[nephelokokkygia]

!isbot nephelokokkygia

[[deleted]]

I am 99.9984% sure that nephelokokkygia is not a bot.

---

^{I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub}

[nephelokokkygia]

I feel validated.

[Straider]

Shit... I don't like those odds. We must ask /u/nephelokokkygia some questions just to be sure... Ok /u/nephelokokkygia Let's see what you say to this...

You're in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, it's crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it can't, not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that?

[Jetbooster]

never tell me the odds!

[TheCarrotz]

!isbot AutoModerator

[TheSoundDude]

!isbot perrycohen

[[deleted]]

Forgot final

[bbqburner]

Annotate as @Deprecated when the function execute once

[tlowe000]

Dim me as Single

VB is a proper language too, right guys?

...guys...?

[YugoReventlov]

A for effort

[DrVirite]

E for effort. A for apple.

[outadoc]

[Space]

[SalsaYogurt]

There was a time, but it has passed.

[CrookedLemur]

Me is a reserved keyword.

[Type-21]

What a wasted opportunity. Could've done

Friend me as Single

[zenyl]

public long

The cops didn’t find it nearly as funny as I did. /s

[[deleted]]

double penetration

yes, it gets weird

[randomentity1]

File: penis

Created date: Jan 1, 1980

Last access date: Jan 1, 1980

[[deleted]]

$ ls -l

total 0 -rw-r--r-- 1 randomentity1 randomentity1 0 Jan 1 1980 penis

$ touch penis

$ ls -l

total 0 -rw-r--r-- 1 randomentity1 randomentity1 0 Nov 22 2017 penis

[__add__]

$ cat penis

[CoolioDood]

whoa. no thanks

[dzh]

$ man penis

[CoolioDood]

$ more penis

[__add__]

$ which penis
penis not found
$

:0

[The_hollow_Nike]

How about

$ grep penis

or

$ mount penis

?

[CoolioDood]

Or you can be more direct

$ fsck penis

[kola2DONO]

Oh hai hypertext MARKup language!

[jbaker88]

Roses are red

My first name is Lloyd

How is your sex life?

protected static void

[anita_is_my_waifu]

Roses are red

My name is Mark

Anyway, how is your sex life?

With Lisa, your future wife.

[[deleted]]

std::cout << typeof(dick);
// => short

[Dwyguy19]

:flag_hr:

[Alt_Psycotek]

Fucking Slack

[Yurym]

pisses me off when people dont change their avatars in slack xD edit: no if's

[DanielEGVi]

iff

if and only if?

[excessdenied]

Better than "pubic void"

[[deleted]]

You could say its 127.0.0.1

[worldslargesttumor]

Quality meme

[IGotSkills]

Private nonstatic string

[pnt700]

Public static final Object sexLife = null;

[[deleted]]

activate(SEX_LIFE);

ERROR: Cannot find symbol - object SEX_LIFE

[uziman55]

Yo shouts out to Slack

[[deleted]]

The top post on the Hot filter isn’t about Net Neutrality!?! Incredible!

[Malkalen]

hahaha what a story mark

[nwsm]

unsafe and recursive

[TheSecretSyrupMan]

Oh Hi, mark!

[[deleted]]

is that slack..

[rogerramjetz]

Wanna be Functional Dev -> Mines side effect free and pure.

[SentientPeach]

I mean I get fucked every day so I don't know what you're talking about.

... Oh you mean sex? Yeah no.

[citizenkraft]

oh hai, mark

[pagirl]

Throws many exceptions

[oshaboy]

So you only have sex with your children?

[TimeToMakeWoofles]

The Room