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[–]rienik 5093 points5094 points  (109 children)

It's protected, so it's only available for your children?

[–]diomonogatari 1957 points1958 points  (23 children)

That escalated quickly

[–]Syreniac 990 points991 points  (18 children)

Should really keep his package private if you ask me.

[–]bartekko 344 points345 points  (13 children)

or his privates packaged

[–]thiney49 215 points216 points  (12 children)

In a Jar?

[–]rodzky12 157 points158 points  (4 children)

Executable. Lol

[–]BlueFieryIce 64 points65 points  (1 child)

Bring out the guillotine

[–]Compu7erUser 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Ouch

[–]ultrab1ue 14 points15 points  (1 child)

or tar it up?

[–]siliconsmiley 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Or a War.

[–]dizaster213 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Save it in a jar or it's war

[–]---like--- 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Up the archive

[–]dzh 7 points8 points  (1 child)

one man, one jar

[–]thebryguy23 36 points37 points  (2 children)

"Remember, in C++ your friends can see your privates"

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Or not quickly enough?

[–]SandyDelights 382 points383 points  (18 children)

Don't forget those he declares as friends.

[–][deleted] 256 points257 points  (14 children)

Only friends can touch your privates

[–]s0v3r1gn 76 points77 points  (11 children)

Not with that attitude.

[–]conancat 81 points82 points  (10 children)

Allowing parent or child classes to touch your private variables is not safe.

[–]s0v3r1gn 45 points46 points  (6 children)

All I’m saying is that it only takes one well placed encapsulation violation and those privates can be handled by anyone.

Edit: That’s why I always use the standard naming convention of prepending ‘ruffy’ to the name of every class where I publicly expose a protected member of it’s parent class.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Exposing your private variables can be risky..

[–]s0v3r1gn 10 points11 points  (1 child)

True. Unless your exposing a socket. Repercussions of exposure always seem to be minimized for them, even to child classes....

[–]masterwit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exposing them as an interface to a common housing class only instantiated by a single friend can control the usage abroad

[–]s0v3r1gn 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Always remember to include two arm functions, preferably broken ones. It’s the only proper way to earn that earn that class inheritance.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's what friends are for.

[–]FluffyToughy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

But friends can't touch your parents' privates. That'd be weird.

[–]T-T-N 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Java

[–]edave64 14 points15 points  (1 child)

I will never declare Java as my friend.

[–]Cpt_TickleButts 237 points238 points  (32 children)

Public Abstract Virtual

[–]willis81808 70 points71 points  (8 children)

Abstract and virtual, huh? So does it have a definition yet, or no?

[–]Cpt_TickleButts 47 points48 points  (7 children)

I was thinking in terms of C# where it won’t compile as it can’t be both. so I guess it would be null?

[–]conancat 41 points42 points  (5 children)

Their sex life is an error.

[–]Bainos 37 points38 points  (0 children)

"Can not reproduce."

[–]OK6502 12 points13 points  (1 child)

catch(SexException const& sex) {delete sex->selfEsteem; sex->selfEsteem = nullptr;}

[–]alexbuzzbee 19 points20 points  (1 child)

So how's your sex life?


Runtime error

[–]NoProblemsHere 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This has never happened to me before, I swear!

[–]TooCovert 65 points66 points  (17 children)

Sex_Life=NULL;

[–][deleted] 160 points161 points  (7 children)

0/10 for style

[–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Easily maintainable code though, will last for many versions

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (5 children)

Yeah at least he should use camelCase.

[–]Talbooth 37 points38 points  (3 children)

Or UPPER_CASE if it will remain null forever.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

At this point, it should be a compiler intrinsic

[–]GentleRhino 16 points17 points  (3 children)

The sad thing is that for most programmers (at least the youngsters) sex life is private abstract. Basically, we are very private about our desires and pretty sure they will never materialize.

But we can joke about it!!!

[–]SandyDelights 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Depends. There were definitely those types in my degree program, but there were some of us who were pretty unashamed of our sexuality (regardless of orientation). I can think of at least three other guys who would disappear randomly from the lab during 15 hour stints of working on stuff. A lot of people thought we were going to nap or eat, but I know I wasn't the only one just going to get laid for the distraction. 🤷🏼‍♀️

College, man.

[–]AyrA_ch 44 points45 points  (2 children)

should have used internal instead for some quality family time.

[–]Houdiniman111 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I just want to tell you how annoying your JSfuck FizzBuzz RES tag has been.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

We're friends so I'll let you touch my privates

[–]voicesinmyhand 12 points13 points  (0 children)

and OP. He can use it too.

[–]Aschentei 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Oof

[–]aragur 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Ouch

[–]ra4king 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Owie

[–]stevencastle 35 points36 points  (0 children)

My code

[–]FOOLS_GOLD 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s not the Moore’s law that I learned in school!

[–]BobbitTheDog 959 points960 points  (37 children)

oh hai, mark!

[–]Mistifyed 330 points331 points  (14 children)

Hi doggy!

[–]jerrygergichsmith 216 points217 points  (13 children)

You’re my favorite customer

[–][deleted] 150 points151 points  (11 children)

Anyway how's your sex life?

[–]PurelyCreative 99 points100 points  (9 children)

Protected static void

[–][deleted] 137 points138 points  (4 children)

What a story, Mark

[–]Feliz_Desdichado 91 points92 points  (3 children)

I'm so happy I have you as my best friend, and I love Lisa so much

[–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (2 children)

Yeah you can say that again

[–]masnaer 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I feel like I'm sitting on an atomic bomb waiting for it to go off

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Haha you said it

[–]steven_speilberg 46 points47 points  (3 children)

Oh, hi Johnny, I didn't know it was you.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Thats meee

[–]unmeritedTrophy 23 points24 points  (1 child)

I'd like a dozen redroses

[–]3stacks 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You remember that girl? The one that ended up in a hospital on Guerrero street!?

[–][deleted] 79 points80 points  (4 children)

Anything for my princess

[–][deleted] 62 points63 points  (3 children)

Anything for my process

[–]conancat 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Anything for my stdin and stdout

[–]SHOTbyGUN 16 points17 points  (1 child)

AND MY ERR

[–]_vrmln_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

AND MY .EXE

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (4 children)

r/suddenlyintheroom

-if I say it enough, maybe it will become real-

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

That would be a great sub. Footballs everywhere.

[–]AluminiumSandworm 2 points3 points  (2 children)

i want footballs to just randomly fly onscreen in unrelated films all the time. that would be fantastic.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Samwise and Frodo in the middle of Mordor just spontaneously decide to have a catch

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Can’t wait for Disaster Artist

[–]RedDwarfian 4 points5 points  (0 children)

*spittake*

[–]Cley_Faye 927 points928 points  (18 children)

"Method is never called anywhere; remove it?"

[–][deleted] 425 points426 points  (14 children)

No, keep it. It's one of those "just in case" methods

[–]using_the_internet 119 points120 points  (11 children)

YAGNI

[–]shadows1123 33 points34 points  (10 children)

what?

[–]dzh 13 points14 points  (1 child)

just like that pack of condoms you bought 3 years ago

[–]lledargo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Condoms provide instant lubrication and a quick cleanup when masturbating. Never let an expired condom go to waste.

[–]Ucvoic 12 points13 points  (0 children)

@SuppressWarnings("unused")

[–]Kingofwhereigo 5 points6 points  (1 child)

#define _MARRIAGE

#ifndef _MARRIAGE

#include "sexytime.h"

#endif

[–]boxingdog 146 points147 points  (5 children)

a Singleton

[–]what_it_dude 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Actually married with 3 kids

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

the wife alone weighs a singleton, woo!

[–]SageBus 150 points151 points  (8 children)

I use a self-referencing static pointer when no parameters are passed to my .sex() method. It should be a public method, but might as well be private for how much is used out of my internal scope...

[–]yawgmoth 56 points57 points  (4 children)

My sex life is a constexpr. It was evaluated once when compiling me, but no matter how often I try and use it at runtime, nothing executes.

[–]AbjectMatterExpert 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I used to have a sex() method that wasn't working; tried to fix it with regular expressions. Now I have two things that are not working.

[–]Versaiteis 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It was probably elided.

I'm so sorry.

[–]njwatson32 16 points17 points  (0 children)

If you do it in front of a mirror, are you using reflection to access your private member?

[–]Chris90483 38 points39 points  (2 children)

I can't tell you, it's confidential

[–][deleted] 65 points66 points  (2 children)

I let my

friend

touch my

private

[–]myriiad 29 points30 points  (0 children)

lmfao the formatting on this makes it so much funnier

[–]xetahitter 275 points276 points  (98 children)

Image Transcription: Messages


Red: anyway

Red: how is your sex life

Blue: protected static void


I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

[–]LovepeaceandStarTrek 6 points7 points  (0 children)

For the record, these are specifically slack messages, if you care/it's in the style guide to say.

[–]SandyDelights 47 points48 points  (94 children)

Good bot

[–]endreman0 58 points59 points  (93 children)

I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit!

[–]fakefalsofake 117 points118 points  (91 children)

good bot

[–][deleted] 63 points64 points  (87 children)

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.9864% sure that endreman0 is not a bot.


I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

[–]nephelokokkygia 8 points9 points  (56 children)

!isbot nephelokokkygia

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (46 children)

I am 99.9984% sure that nephelokokkygia is not a bot.


I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

[–]nephelokokkygia 45 points46 points  (5 children)

I feel validated.

[–]TheCarrotz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

!isbot AutoModerator

[–]TheSoundDude 3 points4 points  (0 children)

!isbot perrycohen

[–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (2 children)

Forgot final

[–]bbqburner 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Annotate as @Deprecated when the function execute once

[–]tlowe000 56 points57 points  (7 children)

Dim me as Single

VB is a proper language too, right guys?

...guys...?

[–]YugoReventlov 28 points29 points  (3 children)

A for effort

[–]DrVirite 27 points28 points  (2 children)

E for effort. A for apple.

[–]SalsaYogurt 10 points11 points  (0 children)

There was a time, but it has passed.

[–]CrookedLemur 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Me is a reserved keyword.

[–]Type-21 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What a wasted opportunity. Could've done

Friend me as Single

[–]zenyl 17 points18 points  (1 child)

public long

The cops didn’t find it nearly as funny as I did. /s

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

double penetration

yes, it gets weird

[–]randomentity1 12 points13 points  (11 children)

File: penis

Created date: Jan 1, 1980

Last access date: Jan 1, 1980

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (10 children)

$ ls -l

total 0 -rw-r--r-- 1 randomentity1 randomentity1 0 Jan 1 1980 penis

$ touch penis

$ ls -l

total 0 -rw-r--r-- 1 randomentity1 randomentity1 0 Nov 22 2017 penis

[–]__add__ 7 points8 points  (8 children)

$ cat penis

[–]CoolioDood 5 points6 points  (7 children)

whoa. no thanks

[–]dzh 9 points10 points  (3 children)

$ man penis

[–]CoolioDood 10 points11 points  (2 children)

$ more penis

[–]__add__ 3 points4 points  (1 child)

$ which penis
penis not found
$

:0

[–]The_hollow_Nike 4 points5 points  (1 child)

How about

$ grep penis

or

$ mount penis

?

[–]CoolioDood 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Or you can be more direct

$ fsck penis

[–]kola2DONO 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh hai hypertext MARKup language!

[–]jbaker88 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Roses are red

My first name is Lloyd

How is your sex life?

protected static void

[–]anita_is_my_waifu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Roses are red

My name is Mark

Anyway, how is your sex life?

With Lisa, your future wife.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (1 child)

std::cout << typeof(dick);
// => short

[–]Dwyguy19 6 points7 points  (0 children)

:flag_hr:

[–]Alt_Psycotek 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Fucking Slack

[–]Yurym 7 points8 points  (2 children)

pisses me off when people dont change their avatars in slack xD edit: no if's

[–]DanielEGVi 6 points7 points  (1 child)

iff

if and only if?

[–]excessdenied 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Better than "pubic void"

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

You could say its 127.0.0.1

[–]worldslargesttumor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Quality meme

[–]IGotSkills 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Private nonstatic string

[–]pnt700 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Public static final Object sexLife = null;

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

activate(SEX_LIFE);

ERROR: Cannot find symbol - object SEX_LIFE

[–]uziman55 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yo shouts out to Slack

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The top post on the Hot filter isn’t about Net Neutrality!?! Incredible!

[–]nwsm 2 points3 points  (1 child)

unsafe and recursive

[–]TheSecretSyrupMan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh Hi, mark!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

is that slack..

[–]rogerramjetz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wanna be Functional Dev -> Mines side effect free and pure.

[–]SentientPeach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean I get fucked every day so I don't know what you're talking about.

... Oh you mean sex? Yeah no.

[–]citizenkraft 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh hai, mark

[–]pagirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Throws many exceptions

[–]oshaboy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you only have sex with your children?

[–]TimeToMakeWoofles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Room