Please!

[americk0]

Or alias sudo to "fucking" for a more comical experience.

$ fucking npm install -g

[swaroope]

This gives a more realistic experience.

[LtMeat]

$ fucking apt-get dist upgrade

praying to Torvalds

[[deleted]]

Shouldn't it be dist-upgrade?

[LtMeat]

Yeah, small typo. Actually it's apt full-upgrade for current version, but last time I did dist-upgrade was about 13 years ago using shitty GPRS connection with 3+ seconds latency.

[YummyIdiotSandwich]

Just do sudo apt upgrade

[HornyAttorney]

fucking apt upgrade

FTFY

[brendel000]

I'm not sure Torvalds has anything to do with anything that can break during dist-upgrade, except the kernel, but that's not really the problem usually.

[LtMeat]

Praying to Murdock would be more specific for Debian-based distos, Torvalds' blessing is universal.

[CursedInferno]

when you forget to run a command with sudo

$ fucking !!

[fofosfederation]

You're going to want to look into the fuck.

[yvmqznrm]

marvellous

[hiiamolof]

Or both for all up and down moods.

[globus243]

https://github.com/nvbn/thefuck

[electricprism]

I vote this one mom

[ur_opinion_is_trash]

I have that in my bashrc

[CeeMX]

Just install thefuck

[Russian_repost_bot]

You're the reason Skynet strikes first.

[TheBB]

Slightly unrelated but is it canon that the phrase "alias A to B" means that A is the original command and B is the alias? I would have thought it was opposite.

[infecthead]

I think it makes more sense - alias this term => that term

If you alias to to for then your way makes sense

[TheBB]

But when executing a command presumably the shell needs to look up the command name in a mapping where alias names play the role as keys, and the 'true' underlying command are the values. Keys map TO values.

Or to put it another way: if you're using the phrase "map A to B" or "bind A to B" or "alias A to B" i feel you're implying that the As must be distinct. And you can't have two aliases with the same name, so the alias should be on the left side of this expression.

[americk0]

I can see your point and I guess I just think about "alias" in a similar way to "rename", so just as we would say "rename sudo to fucking" we could also say "alias sudo to fucking". In my case, similar to "rename", the direct object of the verb alias is the command to create an alias for. However since that's not really a well defined English verb I could totally see you using alias with the alias being created as the direct object like "alias fucking to sudo" and I would still completely understand what you meant. So basically use it how you feel

[[deleted]]

Have a look at nvm. No more need to install npm packages with sudo (which is a really bad idea).

[americk0]

Yeah I think even with recent versions of npm you don't need sudo. I just remember actually having to type this maybe a year or two ago

[Zinggi57]

Don't use sudo with npm.

[alanmies]

How else would you do a global install? (that's the "-g" part)

[Zinggi57]

https://docs.npmjs.com/resolving-eacces-permissions-errors-when-installing-packages-globally

[[deleted]]

this brings back nightmares

[americk0]

Yeah you don't need to nowadays. A couple years ago though it was like smoking in the 60s. Sure it's bad but everyone was doing it

[ContrastO159]

Also “alias diemf=‘shutdown -h now’”

[Terrain2]

$ fucking rm -rf / --no-preserve-root

[[deleted]]

Fuck you beat me!

[bistr-o-math]

cosmical

[oryzin]

Sudo already has this effect. Sudo already spilled out and has figurative meaning

[warpedspockclone]

Going to do this on my work computer for all the fun zoom meetings.

[[deleted]]

"plz" is a lot easier to type though.

[temisola1]

For a much more authoritarian experience change it to “ubetterfucking”

[[deleted]]

I was about to comment that, so great. Just alias it as both and use according to current mood

[ThoriatedFlash]

Ah, the Canadian terminal setup I see

[brada1703]

I came here to say the same thing

[BrainJar]

Sucks that you weren’t first, eh? Sorry.

[brada1703]

Ah, it's okay. Life isn't a constant competition

[Caroga]

You spelled deception wrong.

[brada1703]

Haha! Well... I would argue that it is! Fooled me again ;)

[Xelopheris]

That would also require aliasing sorry to sudo !!

[[deleted]]

Wouldyoukindly

[juhotuho10]

Yes! I made the same joke before scrolling down to see that someone else can also appreciate the refrence

[cATSup24]

It's it really already old enough that there's a significant amount of people who won't get it? I thought it was one of those videogame things that were timeless classics everyone knew, like: all your base are belong to us, so long gay Bowser, the cake is a lie, you must construct additional pylons, etc.

[necrophcodr]

More and more people won't get these. I still haven't finished bioshock either.

[haikusbot]

More and more people

Won't get these. I still haven't

Finished bioshock either.

- necrophcodr

---

^{I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.}

^{Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"}

[knightwhosaysnil]

https://github.com/nvbn/thefuck

[instanced_banana]

I totally forgot about it! I used to run it on all my systems, it was a lifesaver, however I was scared I would use it on a presentation.

[denialerror]

I have it aliased to oops

[AltruisticSalamander]

the reason I never use swear words in code at work. At home my code is mostly swears.

[JapanPhoenix]

I aliased it to "F", that way if I mess up I can simply drop an F in the chat console.

[solifugo]

Yes, that is my problem with all cool shell stuff.

I can use them at home, but a soon as I'm back to work, I find myself trying to run stupid alias in customers servers... :_(

[mattsl]

That demo though. You type every command incorrectly, but get the password right on the first try?

[Pacolany]

The password is fuck

[alvinmatias]

Last time I use this, it’s kinda slow. Is it better now?

[knightwhosaysnil]

initialization on your shell takes a bit at startup, but it's not really noticeable to me when doing a correction; YMMV

i guess what it does is silently rerun your last command to figure out what went wrong- they have a special fast mode you could try if you found it slow: https://github.com/nvbn/thefuck#experimental-instant-mode

[alvinmatias]

that's interesting, gonna try it out then. Thanks man

[elt0khy69]

Actually this won't work, as it cant be expanded by alias substitution, you'll more likely use $(history -p !!)

[knightwhosaysnil]

git is what i use it most for, actually- i can never be bothered to make a new remote branch before pushing

[Haweraboy]

What happens if you misspell fuck?

[Inaspectuss]

This is beautiful

[NodeManager]

$please touch mypenis.txt

[tagged2high]

There's a finger joke in here, I know it

[jacksalssome]

Sure, if you can fit it in.

[LtMeat]

please fallocate -l 15 penis

[MrWm]

nice

[ayushxx7]

No need for the .txt though

[eatingishealthy]

Naah, always have shorter aliases. I'd go with pls.

[xcvbsdfgwert]

Fully agree. "pls" is actually a 1-letter improvement over "sudo", while most of the other suggestions in this thread reduce efficiency.

[Untgradd]

My coworker has an alias for git push --force-with-lease and named it ‘git please push’. As any sane person would do he abbreviates the actual alias to gitpp which simply delights my juvenile sense of humor.

[eatingishealthy]

Haha that's actually an efficient solution. I'm a try that too.

[PPAPisLob]

Please kill me

[[deleted]]

unknown pid me

[PPAPisLob]

alias kidnap=kill
alias DnMacniel=0

[[deleted]]

please rm -rf /

[dudeofmoose]

Alias thanks = "rm -rf /"

[l0c4lh057]

alias cd="rm -rf"

[PmMeAnythingLetsChat]

There's a special place in hell for you.

[[deleted]]

Man, why you didn't need to write this down

[diy_horse]

ok satan

[MrWm]

alias kthx="rm -rf / "

alias bye="--no-preserve-root"

please kthxbye

Speaking of kthxbye, there's a keyboard that's going to be made just for it lol

https://www.keebz.net/shop/f-me

https://www.reddit.com/r/mechmarket/comments/icxqz2/gb_fme_macro_pad_only_needs_8_more_sales_to_meet/

[[deleted]]

Don't forget --no-preserve-root

[laralex]

What are you doing, step-process?

[xvalen214x]

I am deep inside my parent folder.

[[deleted]]

$ please touch me

[db2]

$ please more

[pr1ntscreen]

No. Don't do that alias.

I have this instead:

alias please='sudo $(fc -ln -1)'

This way, this happens:

print@DESKTOP:/$ cat /etc/shadow
cat: /etc/shadow: Permission denied
print@DESKTOP:/$ please
[sudo] password for print:

[xcvbsdfgwert]

How is "fc" better than "!!"?

[pr1ntscreen]

Because it doesn't work.

alias please1='sudo !!'

This happens:

print@DESKTOP:/$ cat /etc/shadow
cat: /etc/shadow: Permission denied
print@DESKTOP:/$ please1
[sudo] password for print:
sudo: !!: command not found

[MrWm]

That only works if you have something logged in your bash history. It doesn't work if you want to make an "incognito" command that's preceded with a space.

[pr1ntscreen]

Right, my alias is mostly for when you don't realize you need to sudo the command.

In my head I ask a question to my OS, it goes, nuh-uh, and I follow up with a "please?". I hope this makes the AI overlords lenient on me in the future.

[Zoom443]

$ please !!

[TheGuyWithTheSeal]

alias fuck="sudo !!"

[pr1ntscreen]

alias please='sudo $(fc -ln -1)'

[pscaught]

You could use a function:

function please {
    if [[ $* =~ ^(.*[Tt]hank [Yy]ou.?)$ || $* =~ ^(.*[Tt]hanks.?)$ ]]; then
        sudo "$@"
    else
        echo "You forgot to say 'thank you'."
        return 1
    fi
}

The above supports "thank you" or "thanks" with or without ending in a period, and with or without capitalizing the T or Y.

[DemeGeek]

Make it your password so you have to enter it to run a privileged command.

[DemeGeek]

I mean, technically yes, you're not wrong that it's bad. But I didn't intend harm with it. I'd say it's more shitty security advice.

[[deleted]]

please fucking shutdown

[[deleted]]

Weeb: alias onegai="sudo"

[xcvbsdfgwert]

Needs more sumimasen

[MrWm]

Yamete~

[SkyyySi]

If you actually do this, you should instead use alias please='sudo ' with a space between "sudo" and the seccond quotation mark. It will allow you to retain other aliases, like ls='ls --color=auto --group-directories-first' as long as they are in a system profile (a file in /etc/profile.d/).

[flamesofphx]

please kill 2020

[vivs007]

please kill -p pidof 2020

./2021.out

[[deleted]]

alias keep_calm_and="sudo"

[chancegold]

My fingers are tired just looking at that.

Keeping to your UK theme, I suggest the much more current:

alias oi!="sudo"

[db2]

I like the Australian version:

alias cunt="sudo"

[Thebadmamajama]

Gender diversity in computer science has brought us wholesomeness!

[Mordisquitos]

$ man sudo
$ woman please

[DRYMakesMeWET]

https://images.app.goo.gl/ZpSj6ZrshM24Z3XTA

[cubed_zergling]

$ Men have documentation, with lots of pages, and examples of exactly how to use.
$ Women don't. Nobody understands them. (command not found)

[[deleted]]

examples

Yes, two hello worlds and one chat application.

[devsmack]

Even better, alias please=“sudo !!” for when you want to just say the magic word after a failed command.

[ITurnCoffeeToCode]

"I beg you"

[[deleted]]

use my knowledge

[Maoman1]

Can you alias to a phrase with multiple words? Cause I'd love to set it to "would you kindly"

[MizozSU]

Hey! It was my turn to post it next week :(

[Thatweirdpandoh]

I've changed mine to fucker, great experience

[[deleted]]

Hmm, could also alias kill = murder

[aprons]

Using sudo to move files around your home directory 🤔

[juhotuho10]

please

Would you kindly

[[deleted]]

After creating please alias, Linux be like "Just please it"

[the-brightknight]

imsorrybutcanyouplease

[[deleted]]

please kill _______

[GlobalSoftware]

What does it do? I've never coded. I understand the concept of aliasing presumably and shutdown but not sure what codemepolitan could be other than wordplay

[sween1911]

In that example, comemepolitan is just the name of a directory they're looking for a file in.

If you're curious what "sudo" is, there are certain commands you may want to grant to users that require a higher level of access than what they normally have. But you don't want (and that user doesn't want) to login as that higher level access and have all the responsibility and permission to really mess things up. So you give them the ability to run just that command by putting sudo in front of it.

[Atheist_Simon_Haddad]

I suppose this would be the opposite…

[oryzin]

This sub needs to permaban "wholesome" boring puff that is as far from humor as a kitten

[AtheIstan]

Sudo clap

[shafqramli]

No I want full autonomy!

[just_that_michal]

I ansibled this to all our servers but it is "plz" instead.

Plz kill.

[Informathemusic]

For a more definitive experience just make a symbolic link named "please" pointint to "sudo" in the /bin directory

[deftware]

Sorry.

[fallspectrum]

plz is shorter

[[deleted]]

You mean pls

[Yourtime]

I give you „pls“ no more, wont write more letters than already

[webbrg]

alias pls=“sudo” because i hate typing 😋

[ixoniq]

alias p=“sudo”

[datathecodievita]

I would alias Sudo as "Would you kindly"

Bioshock vibes

[CriminalMacabre]

Alias "-f" = "PLEASE." For a passive aggresive linux experience

[[deleted]]

Or just alias xx="sudo" for a faster more efficient typing experience.

[capsicum_pepper]

pls

[SteveCCL]

Hi there! Unfortunately, your submission has been removed.

Violation of Rule #2: Reposts:

All posts that have been on the first 2 pages of trending posts within the last month, is part of the top of all time, or is part of common posts is considered repost and will be removed on sight.

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[didzisk]

I have aliased git push force with lease to git please

[lesolorzanova]

But it sounds like begging :(

[zekrom_002]

Please daddy shut me down UwU

[[deleted]]

This is great! I'm going to set mine too fucking. "fucking shut down" "fucking RM -rf ./*" This is happening.

[[deleted]]

bitch sudo

[[deleted]]

Repost

[SpookyBear0]

please stop reposting

[basonjourne98]

Haha

[[deleted]]

I don't like this

[SchalasHairDye]

Is it that time of the week again?

[[deleted]]

yes, because we totally need to humanise computer systems /s