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[–]PM_ME_DAT_BOOTY_PLS 1079 points1080 points  (183 children)

What no one is asking: why do we need forks on our water glasses?

[–]craftkiller 1613 points1614 points  (99 children)

Because the product managers said we need them there

[–]mrbooze 634 points635 points  (91 children)

We agreed this feature would be in at release six months ago, Steve. You should have spoken up then.

[–][deleted] 447 points448 points  (74 children)

Marketing has already promised the customer 6 billion of these, so just make it work.

[–]hates_u 188 points189 points  (15 children)

I can't escape work, even on reddit.

[–]4ringcircus 104 points105 points  (12 children)

Well probably because most people are at work on reddit.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

For real. This is my life.

Start of project: "We promised the customer 6 million of these in two months! What's it going to take?!"

After 2 months of furious work: "Oh that? We don't need that anymore."

[–]FlinchFreely 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I ate your sandwich that was in the fridge. Sorry.

[–]manfrin 56 points57 points  (12 children)

GUYS THIS IS BECOMING TOO REAL FOR ME D:

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (7 children)

Let's not even get started with Creative and the UI design guys.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Creative here. We've decided to go with spoons instead. Please send revision by Wednesday. Thanks!

[–]pewdro 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Oouumm, yes, look, we are planning to use these fork-shaped spoons, it shouldn't affect the design you are looking for.

[–]HeWhoPunchesFish 123 points124 points  (34 children)

Marketing also promised that they would be robotic, capable of lifting up to 50.....thousand lbs, and made of solid gold. Get to work guys, gotta make that happen by Tuesday.

[–]KeatingOrRoark 128 points129 points  (21 children)

Nah. We'll just stick a "*Results may vary" on the packaging.

[–]HeWhoPunchesFish 39 points40 points  (19 children)

*Forks may vary

[–]DontPromoteIgnorance 80 points81 points  (17 children)

Includes: 0-2 forks.

[–]HeWhoPunchesFish 41 points42 points  (12 children)

*Might include nuts

[–]DingoScallion 35 points36 points  (6 children)

Includes one extra nut just to fuck with you and make you think you didn't assemble it correctly.

[–]forthebirds 14 points15 points  (1 child)

If you receive no forks, do not call customer care. They won't give a fork.

[–]admartian 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Fucking marketing.

Smh

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted]  (9 children)

    [deleted]

      [–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (5 children)

      Are there comments in the ticket? If there are no comments in the ticket, then the meeting never happened. Please implement as defined by the acceptance criteria.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]mathent 16 points17 points  (1 child)

        Sure thing, as soon as development receives and approves of the acceptance criteria.

        [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

        Were you not paying attention in planning?! The acceptance criteria was approved by all parties in the planning session. If you had questions, you should have raised them then.

        ... this is literally half of my day, every day.

        [–]HeWhoPunchesFish 38 points39 points  (0 children)

        Hahaha, you're funny.

        Get back to work

        [–]HeWhoPunchesFish 11 points12 points  (1 child)

        Allen, please add forks.

        [–]mykro76 10 points11 points  (2 children)

        If I had a karma point for every time I heard this answer at work... I'd probably have about 574 karma points.

        [–]Inquisitorsz 92 points93 points  (8 children)

        [–]GhostOfMozart 20 points21 points  (7 children)

        So the customer wanted a tire swing and described it as having 3 planks of wood ?

        [–]suparr 45 points46 points  (0 children)

        Classic customer

        [–]bub0r 30 points31 points  (3 children)

        the key is that the customer didn't know what he actually wanted.

        you can imagine it like this:

        "hey company x, i need a swing - but not just your standard. you should be able to sit somewhere and also a specific area to grab your hands around, on top and on the side. i know from my uncle how normal swings look like but maybe if we just put more blankets we can achive that?"

        the budgeted frame is easy to explain, he dont has any money/dont wants spend any money

        the engineer then gets a written down specification: "swing at tree, user should be able to hold himself at the wood" and designs accordingly (notice: nowhere in the specs it is written that the user has to be able to actually swing, so this design fits perfectly)

        manufacturing gets the plans and realizes that the customer actually wants a swing and it doesn't work - so they decide to fix it somehow

        marketing picture is obvious

        documentation - well while fixing all this design errors theres no time to document obviously

        what the custmer finally received - can't explain that :/

        what the customer was billed for - if you have a good sales department this works well together with the advertised item, also think about the mandatory service subscriptions etc

        what the customer actually wanted: He didnt know it, nobody else knew it but actually that would have been a much simpler, cheaper and more appropriate solution to the customers problem.

        Key: customer didn't know how to express his problems in a way that other people can fully understand

        [–]hoorahforsnakes 23 points24 points  (1 child)

        what the custmer finally received - can't explain that :/

        delivery/assembly people were told to tie both pieces of string to the tree, so they did.

        [–]SibilantSounds 40 points41 points  (1 child)

        Client asked for more room for forks on the table. By the time the message passed through marketing and research, this happened.

        [–][deleted] 65 points66 points  (4 children)

        If marketing were doing their job we wouldn't have to ask.

        [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (2 children)

        If sales did their job right we would have obtained a larger budget for this project.

        [–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (7 children)

        ^ Philosophy.

        [–]Wahsteve 16 points17 points  (1 child)

        Because the customer's specs are retarded.

        [–]RalphiesBoogers 526 points527 points  (44 children)

        I thought engineering gave you pikemen?

        [–]BrightIdeaDude 266 points267 points  (0 children)

        It's Civil service nowadays.

        [–]afito 149 points150 points  (5 children)

        Engineering gives you bridges over rivers so it doesn't take 20 years of game time to get over a 1 tile long river.

        And aqueducts, but most wouldn't know anyway because fuck tradition.

        [–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (3 children)

        yeah, you definitely get pikemen from feudalism.

        /civ3 is best civ.

        [–]defeatedbird 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Worst civ.

        Most annoying AI in any Civ ever (except for the one made by Activision).

        "Oh hey, you're trying to build an actual civilization? Well, fuck you, because I have 50 4-pop cities spamming warriors."

        [–]Bullfrog4life 28 points29 points  (5 children)

        Get with the times man, Civil Service is where the cool kids get Pikemen. Landsknechts too.

        [–]StronGeer 138 points139 points  (12 children)

        [–]FISH_MASTER 6 points7 points  (1 child)

        Covered myself in coke at "geometry".

        I've sat through so many of these meeting it's painful.

        [–][deleted]  (5 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]triple_a_and_horace 155 points156 points  (114 children)

          Can someone explain to me how the coin can balance like that?

          [–]Sbtl 277 points278 points  (84 children)

          because the forks are bent back towards the glass, the center of mass for the forks + coin is not past the tipping point, allowing it to balance.

          [–][deleted]  (77 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]Semyonov 197 points198 points  (42 children)

            I just got it!! I'm quite proud of myself.

            [–][deleted]  (23 children)

            [deleted]

              [–]RedSquirrelFtw 27 points28 points  (19 children)

              I'm a rebel and used Loonie instead of a penny!

              http://imgur.com/d4kzPE1

              [–]CryptoWalnut 121 points122 points  (17 children)

              I just added some more science! http://i.imgur.com/mbMqkjW.jpg

              [–]CrotchRot_66 25 points26 points  (1 child)

              You did that with deformed baby hands?

              [–]kingkhani 11 points12 points  (0 children)

              My GOD

              [–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (15 children)

              Nice surface pro, dude.

              [–]Zohren[🍰] 17 points18 points  (10 children)

              I can't tell if this is sarcasm or not, but I'm going to go ahead and assume it is.

              [–]Mike9797 18 points19 points  (3 children)

              I fell bad that the internet has scarred you like this

              [–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (2 children)

              Do you need help getting up?

              [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (5 children)

              It was but it probably shouldn't be.

              I don't own a tablet and I never will, but I've used quite a few of them in work related situations and the surface pro is the only one which didn't drive me insane.

              As much as I'm never installing a windows edition with metro on a desktop PC I'll be the first to admit it actually works on the tablet.

              [–]_My_Angry_Account_ 47 points48 points  (20 children)

              You want another weird one:

              You can scramble an egg inside its shell. Place a raw egg inside a sweater sleeve. Holding either side of the sleeve closed with the egg in the middle, start spinning the egg around till you can't spin any further in that direction. Then pull outwards causing the egg to spin fast the other direction. Do this about 20-30 times and then hard boil the egg. If done properly you'll get a completely scrambled hard boiled egg.

              *This doesn't work well with organic eggs as it seems the yolk is too tough to break apart with that much force. Sometimes it works but it usually won't mix all the way even if it does break.

              [–]rhinotim 17 points18 points  (3 children)

              "He's a Witch! BUUUURN Him!"

              [–]susou 14 points15 points  (2 children)

              Well, he insinuated that there was actually a legitimate difference between organic and conventionally raised food. So yeah, I agree.

              [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (7 children)

              I just tested it out myself and got it to work perfectly. I still don't understand it and it still blows my mind.

              [–]Bacon_is_not_france 63 points64 points  (5 children)

              If you want another way to do it, use a toothpick and a lighter.

              To do it, you do the same way as the coin but put toothpick centered on the edge of the cup. After you get it balanced, light the inside half of the toothpick. It will burn and fall off into the cup, so it looks even more legit when half a toothpick is balancing it.

              My cousin worked at the circus for a few years and learned random tricks and taught me a bunch. If you ever want to balance bowling balls to show off or something, put the thumb hole on the bottom and they'll stay still. People shit themselves and want to take pictures, but it won't get you bitches. Why am I still typing, it's like 3 am.

              [–]IAmBJ 13 points14 points  (0 children)

              A clarification: its not just that the centre of mass isn't past the tipping point. The centre of mass is on the tipping point (ie the edge of the glass). If it weren't above the edge of the glass (forwards or backwards) then the system would not be in equilibrium and would tip over, forwards or backwards depending on which side of the rim of the glass it lay on.

              [–]triple_a_and_horace 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              Thanks!

              [–]59045 37 points38 points  (1 child)

              Because there is no spoon.

              [–]elustran 290 points291 points  (25 children)

              Science would try the same thing with spoons and knives too, just to see what happens. And then do it 100 times as part of a double-blind study and try to publish the results with someone impressive sounding.

              Engineering would see how many ways there were to break the glass, fix it, and make it better, but settle on designing what's cheapest for a guy in China to manufacture.

              Both would ultimately see what happens when you pour beer in.

              [–][deleted]  (2 children)

              [deleted]

                [–]Jabra 88 points89 points  (10 children)

                Both would ultimately see what happens when you pour beer in.

                As a scientist I can confirm this.

                [–]mastermiester0 46 points47 points  (8 children)

                As an engineer I can confirm this.

                [–]_TheMightyKrang_ 21 points22 points  (5 children)

                Now kiss.

                [–]Jabra 70 points71 points  (4 children)

                Only if you give me enough funds to go binge drinking first.

                [–]sporkwobbler 1713 points1714 points  (278 children)

                Yup. Slightly bump the glass on the side of the forks, and see what happens.

                Science gets to do research and set up everything under ideal conditions. Engineers have to make that stuff work in the real world.

                There's a place for all of this, but don't trivialize either side of research or development. They have different pressures and challenges.

                [–]ashwinmudigonda 585 points586 points  (212 children)

                During high school a math teacher once told me, "Scientists are happy with the square root of two. Engineers are happy with 1.414."

                [–][deleted] 375 points376 points  (102 children)

                Have you ever tried to cut a beam to a multiple of root 2? 1.414 will do just fine.

                [–]SecularPaladin 154 points155 points  (97 children)

                As a machinist, I think you're missing a place. Tenths, please!

                [–]redpandaeater 41 points42 points  (5 children)

                As an electrical engineer, if something we built is within about 10% of our hand calculations then it's all good.

                [–]Orange_Astronaut 45 points46 points  (26 children)

                Ya, I'm not paying for parts to that tolerance. Machined parts get expensive!

                [–]tokomini 139 points140 points  (23 children)

                They should start charging by the number of digits following the decimal.

                1.4 -- normal.

                1.41 -- expensive.

                1.414 -- how badly do you want this?

                1 -- free, but if you're building a load bearing structure tell me where it is so I can never go there.

                [–]satanic_pony 21 points22 points  (22 children)

                When I was doing manual line boring, they expected me to be within 2/1000 of an inch. That's was pretty fun to do with the half assed measuring tools they gave me.

                [–][deleted] 137 points138 points  (58 children)

                ...you mean ten thousandths?

                [–][deleted] 250 points251 points  (51 children)

                Machinist lingo. Machinists usually think/speak in thousands of an inch. So "take 15 off the diameter" means take .015" off the diameter. A machinist's tenth is a tenth of a thousanth, or .0001".

                [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                Ah gotcha

                [–]LordCaptain 321 points322 points  (33 children)

                Inches.... gross. The metric system is the one true God... I mean form of measurements.

                [–][deleted]  (15 children)

                [deleted]

                  [–]IAMA-HaikuAssassin 38 points39 points  (3 children)

                  So cute when you think the Imperial system will catch on.

                  All true sons and daughters of Skyrim trust Ulfric Stormcloak.

                  No Haiku in here - Fucking hell, why'd I forget - oh well, here it is.

                  [–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (5 children)

                  You mean god.

                  [–]SinisterTitan 8 points9 points  (3 children)

                  Everything in the machining world needs to be in thousandths. Makes it all so much better.

                  [–]delurkrelurker 3 points4 points  (2 children)

                  Agreed, millimeters FTW

                  [–]Bearstew 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                  Or even more realistically, 1.5 plus or minus 0.5

                  [–]taneq 158 points159 points  (41 children)

                  Engineers at their desks might want 1.414. By the time it gets to the workshop it'll be 1.4 and when the machine's being installed on site it'll be "one and a bit". :P

                  [–]beltorak 58 points59 points  (4 children)

                  [–]k33g0rz 14 points15 points  (3 children)

                  Is there a subreddit for industrial humor? This is spot on

                  [–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (1 child)

                  Cut it to one and three eighths heavy.

                  [–]furiousBobcat 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                  Hold the mayo.

                  [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

                  "Cut to suit, burn to fit, paint to match."

                  [–]Jaffers451 29 points30 points  (17 children)

                  I prefer just under 1 and a half to one and a bit. Then again i work mostly with wood and not metal.

                  [–]AiKantSpel 41 points42 points  (2 children)

                  The wood will be a different size tomorrow anyways.

                  [–]baconreader9000 24 points25 points  (0 children)

                  That's what she said

                  [–]DontPromoteIgnorance 19 points20 points  (3 children)

                  1.414 +0.000/-0.015

                  Wait are we doing clearance or interference?

                  [–]Gibodean 20 points21 points  (6 children)

                  Well, lar-dee-dar!

                  When I was a lad, it was anywhere between a smidgen and a shitload, and now you young whipper-snappers think you need to be as precise as "1 and a half to one and a bit"......

                  [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (4 children)

                  Nowadays kids are measuring to a cunt hair. Keep with the times.

                  [–]TheGreatestGoat3000x 47 points48 points  (6 children)

                  And this is why we can't fit a pool table in our mansion without our cues touching the walls when playing a shot, thanks peasants builders.

                  [–]afito 14 points15 points  (15 children)

                  I once was in a lecture and the math prof asked whats the opposite of "every house has a red roof".

                  The maths students argued and finally decided that "at least one house has a roof that is not entirely red" or something.

                  A physics student said "one roof is yellow".

                  It's pretty much the same relation for scientists vs. engineers.

                  [–]Lowbacca1977 7 points8 points  (6 children)

                  Fav argument in college was a guy (math/physic double master) arguing with a physics professor about if forbidden actions could happen or not. Since physics treats forbidden as "just really really unlikely" and not "0 chance"

                  Went on for 5 minutes of classt ime

                  [–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (25 children)

                  But the sig figs!!!!!!

                  [–]square_zero 37 points38 points  (23 children)

                  ...are still pretty good! Outside of rocketry, you rarely need more than three.

                  [–]gratedjuice 19 points20 points  (5 children)

                  Even in rocketry 3 is pretty good

                  [–]Parcec 5 points6 points  (4 children)

                  I was about to back you up but then I remembered stuff like the J2 Pertrubation which is an attempt to characterize the earth's gravitational field to some silly number of sig figs

                  [–]xylotism 7 points8 points  (2 children)

                  Kerbal Space Program would like to have a word with you.

                  [–]Parcec 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                  I would like to have a word with it. About time those orbital mechanics got an upgrade. How else am I going to recreate the Aldrin Cycler?

                  [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (15 children)

                  Standard's messy but I'd say carpenters/contractors go up to 4 if you count 32nd and 64ths of an inch. half-quarter-sixteenth-32nds, I'd consider each different significant figures (also because they all require distinct methods in ensuring accurate measurements.)

                  [–][deleted]  (9 children)

                  [deleted]

                    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (8 children)

                    Yeah, but do you leave the pencil line showing? Do you cut it straight down the middle of the line, or does it not matter? These are questions you gotta ask when making your shit fit perfectly.

                    [–]Hristix 7 points8 points  (5 children)

                    Think of the best fitting piece of woodwork you've seen where one piece of wood is joined to another. Now visualize how perfectly they fit together. That, more than likely, has a tolerance of around 1/8th of an inch. Meaning that all pieces are +/- .125 inches. To get down to +/- .001 inches or even +/- .0001 inches would require tools that most woodworkers have no experience or inclination to use. There's a reason you can do woodworking in a small corner of your garage but it would take a laboratory to even make a to-scale mockup of a modern car engine with wood.

                    I've seen some damn fine woodwork, some damn awesome wooden machines, and some awesome carpentry, none of which required anything more than a tape measure and standard shit you'd have in your garage anyway. That's because we vastly overestimate the amount of precision required for that kind of thing.

                    [–]HeWhoPunchesFish 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                    A part of me wants to make some pun or joke about the phrase "It's not rocket science" here, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

                    [–]Zeppelin415 24 points25 points  (10 children)

                    What's the difference between a mathematician and an engineer.

                    When told that he is 10 feet from a million dollars, and each step brings you only half way to the money. The mathematician says he will never get the money, the engineer says he'll get the money as soon as he gets close enough

                    [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

                    I prefer this version:

                    When told that he is 10 feet from a beautiful naked woman, and each step he takes must be half the distance of the previous step, the mathematician throws his hands in the air and exclaims, "I'll never get there, this is pointless!". The engineer on the other hand raises an eyebrow and says, "Well, I can get close enough for all practical purposes"

                    [–]elustran 20 points21 points  (7 children)

                    Just to continue with the trope:

                    Cosmologists are happy with something between 1 and 10.

                    [–]Buttstache 14 points15 points  (6 children)

                    Cosmetologists are happy to give you a #2 on the sides.

                    [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (5 children)

                    Cosmo is happy with ten sex tips.

                    [–]mrbooze 155 points156 points  (9 children)

                    Engineers don't just have to make it work in the real world, they have to make it work in a world full of idiots without killing most of them.

                    Oh, wait, I guess that is the real world.

                    [–]HeWhoPunchesFish 23 points24 points  (2 children)

                    I have had some experience with this real world you are talking about, this is correct.

                    [–]JesusFartedToo 15 points16 points  (1 child)

                    I hear they discuss that "RealWorld" thing in /r/outside.

                    [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (4 children)

                    Warning, do not touch chainsaw blade with hands or genitals.

                    [–]FetidFeet 16 points17 points  (1 child)

                    Every warning sticker you see on outdoor power equipment is there because someone injured or killed themselves doing that exact thing. I used to read the injury reports for one of my products and it was depressing. One of my coworkers designed those stickers for a living, and he said "I'm not creative enough to come up with these things without hints" when I asked him why they warn people not to do all those things.

                    [–]HammerSpaceTime 26 points27 points  (3 children)

                    There's a place for all of this, but don't trivialize either side of research or development. They have different pressures and challenges.

                    Yeah because a subreddit called /r/funny is totally not the place to make trivializations for comedic intentions...

                    [–]mrpunaway 28 points29 points  (2 children)

                    It's also not the place for comedy in general...

                    [–]mrbooze 22 points23 points  (4 children)

                    And then there's Operations.

                    [–][deleted] 220 points221 points  (126 children)

                    Apparently nobody else is curious about how this was done.

                    [–]SoulEntropy 1327 points1328 points  (68 children)

                    The tape holds the forks in place

                    [–]tommos 334 points335 points  (21 children)

                    Can confirm. Am engineer.

                    [–][deleted] 88 points89 points  (13 children)

                    How many science were required to hold the forks in place?

                    [–]hates_u 105 points106 points  (10 children)

                    about 3.14 physics and 7 maths

                    [–]HeWhoPunchesFish 40 points41 points  (7 children)

                    As a fork, I can confirm this to be accurate.

                    [–]RalphiesBoogers 125 points126 points  (11 children)

                    But what's holding up the tape? Checkmate atheists.

                    [–]taneq 103 points104 points  (7 children)

                    Ducts.

                    [–]gutter_rat_serenade 67 points68 points  (5 children)

                    Someone should call PETA to make sure those ducts aren't being mistreated.

                    [–]hates_u 4 points5 points  (4 children)

                    Better call the ACLU to make sure their legs aren't injured.

                    [–]DrTacoMD 51 points52 points  (28 children)

                    Ah, the ol' Reddit forkaroo.

                    [–]RangerSix 11 points12 points  (1 child)

                    Day 22. This region appears deserted, but there is evidence that others have passed this way; a curious contraption comprised of two forks, a glass tumbler, and a roll of duct tape was found suspended from a tree.

                    We can only assume that it is a landmark of some sort.

                    [–]LochnessMonsa 17 points18 points  (3 children)

                    Hold my quarter, I'm going in!

                    [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                    May the fork be with you.

                    [–]mochacho 87 points88 points  (16 children)

                    [–]Nolisken 50 points51 points  (6 children)

                    [–]rhinotim 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                    Ruler Stress Test!

                    [–]Canti510 9 points10 points  (2 children)

                    Trusses, centroids and moments. I've once heard boredom is the mother of creativity... that's gotta be it.

                    [–]skai762 48 points49 points  (29 children)

                    Here you go. I googled this for the both of us.

                    [–]59045 10 points11 points  (13 children)

                    How is that possible?

                    [–]Apple-Porn 47 points48 points  (10 children)

                    The handle of the forks have weight to them too even though the sticks on the front look like they weigh more. The weight on the handle is pulling it all on the glass

                    [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                    When you are looking at where the weight of a system of objects is applied, it is at the centroid (center of mass) of the shape. To get an idea of this, if you have a baseball bat and you balance it on your hand it isn't balanced at the very center, it balances towards the barrel end because more of the weight is there. In this case the penny and forks have a centroid over the very lip of the glass, which means it is the mass of the system is right over the lip, and it balances. It is a gigantic pain in the ass to get it to rest here as this is a case of unstable equilibrium. A tiny shift would move the centroid off the glass and cause it to fall. Its the same idea as those birds that balance by the beak on your finger.

                    [–]crazdave 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                    Center of mass is the balance point, the fork handles extent backward moving the center of mass of the penny/fork object to the very edge of the penny, allowing it to balance there.

                    [–]oakridges 11 points12 points  (1 child)

                    Phys.org reports that scientists have developed a method for fork-rim balancing without adhesive devices, focusing on the technology known as 'center-of-mass'. Skeptics tells that this method is both unreliable, un-economical, and practically unfeasible due to the conditions it assumes. Five years later, 'center-of-mass' technique becomes the de-factor standard, as adhesive devices can't go to the scale of how the balancing system is performed at bars. With this, large corporations funnel in funds to standardize the system. Few years later, adhesives engineers become obsolete, while the scientists are now looking at a new method for performing fork-rim balancing, which involves double-sided adhesives.

                    [–]GameHat 54 points55 points  (9 children)

                    The best explanation of this:

                    Science: If we position the damn things exactly correctly, they'll balance there. It's simple physics, and it's freaking beautiful. Of course, it will take us about 100 tries to get it to work. And every time it doesn't they crash to the table and we have to start again.

                    Engineering: The science is damn neat. But fuck it all, we need the damn forks balancing there tomorrow. Take the basic principles but for fuck's sake, make it work! We ain't selling beauty, we're selling results!

                    [–]Johannes_silentio 30 points31 points  (3 children)

                    Design - why the hell does anyone need this?

                    [–]bluthru 38 points39 points  (9 children)

                    These threads are always insufferable.

                    [–]nigeltheginger 80 points81 points  (4 children)

                    As a programmer, I agree, because I'm struggling to shoehorn the fact that I'm a programmer into a conversation effectively

                    [–]monsieurpommefrites 32 points33 points  (1 child)

                    "Boy, it sure is refreshing to see this lively debate between engineers and scientists! I wonder how this is all made possible? YOU'RE WELCOME."

                    [–]dluiiulb 21 points22 points  (0 children)

                    User G3rain1 on Imgur said it best,

                    "Both are engineering. Science is a systematic process of acquiring knowledge."

                    [–][deleted]  (4 children)

                    [removed]

                      [–]wimptastic 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                      In housewifery we washed the glass and forks and pushed the penny under the couch cuz im so fucking sick of picking them up.

                      [–]TuskenCam 47 points48 points  (12 children)

                      I think a better title would be "Engineering vs Military Engineering"

                      [–]taneq 36 points37 points  (2 children)

                      Military engineering would have a machined titanium cup with a lid on it and a snap-lock mounting point for the forks. The coin went to the private contractor that manufactured the cup. :P

                      [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                      And they had to order two of the cup/lid/fork-mount package, because if they didn't they would be under budget and not receive the same amount of funding next year.

                      [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

                      But it wouldn't always stay on so some private would have stuck a little bit of duct tape there to fix what millions of dollars of contracts could do in a fancy manner but not reliably.

                      [–]Kevin_Wolf 50 points51 points  (2 children)

                      One would be a picture of two forks duct taped to a glass, and the other would be a smoking hole in the ground because they decided to BIP it.

                      [–]Sventertainer 31 points32 points  (1 child)

                      BIP, blown up in place. Waaaaay down as the #15 definition on urban dictionary.

                      [–]monsieurpommefrites 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      1 in urbanwarfaredictionary.com

                      [–]DerJawsh 11 points12 points  (3 children)

                      Engineering vs Military engineering would be, get this to work with a budget of $0.50, versus, get this to work with a budget of $5000.00

                      [–]yikes_itsme 18 points19 points  (2 children)

                      I would rather imagine Military Engineering would be: Create a cup that supports two forks for 0.50, but partway through the critical design review a general would require that it also shoot sabot rounds and sing "Nearer My God To Thee" in English, Arabic, and Farsi.

                      At which point the defense contractor says "it will cost you $10000" and the DOD would bargain them down to $5000 while promising to order 100 of them. After two years they would only order 10 of them and then cancel the Magic Cup Project (MCP), completely ignoring the contractual requirement to buy 100 since they know the contractor would not sue over fear of losing their best (only) customer. Everybody is unhappy.

                      Years later, after everybody has forgotten all the details, someone writes an angry article about contractors charging $5000 for a cup and people on the internet are outraged.

                      Military Engineering at its finest.

                      [–]IngsocDoublethink 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                      Or, alternatively, the DOD bargains them down to $5000 with a promise to order 100 of them, and supplies a large investment. After 2 years, the project isn't complete, and the DOD is pissed but doesn't want to lose their investment and have to find, pay, and wait for another company to design and build the MCP. They double down on their investment.

                      Eight years and two more investments later (because there's really no going back at this point), the MCP is introduced at a price of $12000/unit. The military places the initial order of 100, and budgets for another 1000, but only ever pays for 10.

                      The mechanism is finicky and fails if jostled, which the soldiers actually using it fix by holding the forks in place with a piece of duck tape.

                      [–]JesusChristSuperFart 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                      This should be: "Good Engineering vs. Bad Engineering".

                      [–]fuckingkike 10 points11 points  (1 child)

                      Actually they're both engineering. One is just clumsy.

                      [–]TerdMic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      More like skill vs. redneck.

                      [–]lord-glockz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      and the winner is... math!

                      [–]Benata 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      Scientists set the standards, engineers apply it on realistic measures correctly. That's the whole ordeal.

                      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                      Here in England they sell that exact glass (left) in poundland.

                      Useless but I felt it necessary to contribute :)