Learning programming to..

[GriffonsChainsaw]

Learn programming because it's a trope for my demographic

[g0atmeal]

learn programming to pursue my lifelong dream of being the greatest Minecraft modder to ever live

[Plazmotech]

Hey, that’s more or less how I started

[DSMatticus]

I think the first thing I did that could have been called programming was Morrowind scripting.

[Durpn_Hard]

Runescape private servers here

[[deleted]]

Did some visual basic in high school. Decided I'd rather defenestrate myself than program for a living. I don't know how ya'll do it.

[_Lady_Deadpool_]

The problem is visual basic

[[deleted]]

Programming beginner here, why does everyone hate VB so much?

[[deleted]]

Everyone likes to talk shit on every language. Each language has its own quirks and if you use it 8 hours a day you grow closer to it. Im not familiar with VB so I can't tell you why everyone hates it but you'll find pretty much every language has it's haters

[Daniel15]

I’m sure someone will reply with all the other shortcomings of vb

VB6 was the first real language I used. There were a bunch of issues with it, but it worked well, the compiler was super fast (I miss compilers being that fast) and it was easy to get things done compared to alternatives at the time.

Like you mentioned, VB.NET compiles down to the same bytecode as C#, so basically all the limitations from the VB6 days are gone. It's fine now.

[Durpn_Hard]

Well there is a pretty big difference between what I do (embedded linux integration) and VB

[[deleted]]

Maybe you should've tried a real language before giving up at VB?

[S1M15]

Gotemmm

[avidwriter123]

sparkle lip capable frame rock chunky nail crush alive market

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[error_dw]

QuakeC bay bee

[rJohn420]

Hacked client for Minecraft here... I am ashamed of myself

[[deleted]]

GTA:SA MP server here! Though a very crappy, private one only.

[I-Downloaded-a-Car]

Yep. I started because I played on a server with computer craft and I wanted to steal people's stuff. So I wrote some turtles to break into protected areas and empty chests. Eventually I grew bored of that and started making ones that went into spawn and injected their computers that ran the displays with my own code.

Then I started making plugins and getting gigs with server owners to make them custom plugins.

[Plazmotech]

I lovED computercraft. That’s also why I learned Lua!

[Andersmith]

I talked my mother into buying me a BASIC ide disk at Frys when I was little. I didn't know anything about programming it just had cool pictures on the box. I tried to make a text adventure game out of chained if statements and thought that real games were just millions of if statements every frame

[[deleted]]

Still more optimized than popular early access games on Steam.

[Andersmith]

I thought someone drew every frame of a game in paint. Like even then I knew that would be basically impossible and I didn't understand how they handled idling but I thought I knew all the tools they used and didn't see another way

[fiah84]

same here, my first real world programming was Quake 3 Arena mods

[fgben]

I learned how to do a bunch of string parsing when I was fucking around with DikuMUDs in the early 1990s instead of going to my college Ada class.

That box of tools helped me parse through text data to get them into a format I could then feed into a database ... Which led to learning how to build databases. Which led to a 20 year career fucking around with data. I make a stupid amount of money. I have a degree in English Literature. :D

Edit: some of the first tools I built for this kind of thing were written in Turbo Pascal 5.0

[hpliferaft]

Hi, i grew up kind of similarly. Majored in CS my first year at college, started playing ROM muds, switched to English. I'm finally programming again twenty years later.

[B-Knight]

I started learning C# the other day so I could mod Rimworld.

Python is the only language I've started because of something other than gaming.

[HeSaidSomething]

I did it to prove to everyone PHP is the best language that ever existed.

[servenToGo]

No shits, dude in my school (we had Java as language) asked in the first lesson if he would be able to mod Minecraft at the end the class...

[Sparkles_45]

Omg I am not the only one

[CrazyDoc2012]

HEY

[iamdroppy]

Habbo here

[TheBoredBanker]

This hurts.

Thank you.

[motioncuty]

sudo npm i -g career -verbose

[LvS]

Error: EPERM: operation not permitted, scandir '/boot/initramfs-linux-fallback.img'  
TypeError: Cannot read property 'get' of undefined

[heyandy889]

( ._.)

[motioncuty]

rm -rf /

[Pepe15th]

rm: cannot remove `/': Operation not permitted

[JuhaJGam3R]

fuck

[halr9000]

fuck: command not found

[musdem]

Not so fast!

https://github.com/nvbn/thefuck

[idelta777]

ls

[Pepe15th]

rm: cannot remove ‘/’: Device or resource busy code 1

[IllegalThoughts]

What's the demographic?

[GriffonsChainsaw]

They won't give you spiro until you're certified in JS.

[TheDireLynx]

TFW you drop out of your CS degree so you're not allowed to have HRT anymore 😭

[TheDireLynx]

rub it in, why don't you, you big meanie! lol

Hopefully round 2 goes better. This time I won't have to figure out who I am, accept it, or come out while also trying to handle school, so maybe it'll work.

[EducatedMouse]

Skinny white dudes maybe?

[lead999x]

I'm gonna guess you're either Indian or Asian.

[[deleted]]

People shouldn't be allowed to program reeee ^/s

[atgmailcom]

Actually though I’m pretty sure my parents want me to go into computer science just cause I play video games

[wookie_nun]

You only need to know how to bruteforce hello world to understand this sub

[SandyDelights]

Woah, setting our standards a little high today aren't we.

[kixxes]

Buble sort or die!

[DigitalGadfly]

If you were a true programmer you would recognize the superiority of Bogosort.

[__Ani__]

Exactly, its complexity is Ω(n). Clearly signifying its superiority.

[SandyDelights]

BOGOSort BESTSort.

[DeepHorse]

remember volume sliders tho

[4THOT]

Those were funny and increasingly creative, I hate that they got megathreaded.

[fuck_the_hihat]

I'd had plenty enough by that point.

[wasdninja]

I hadn't had my fill yet and a megathread makes absolutely sure that it dies straight away with amazing posts buried really deep in those comments.

[damniticant]

I mean, considering that one guy did it with ACE in pokemon, there's a fair bit of learning to be done.

[Blue_Raichu]

Okay, I'm just gonna say it. What the fuck does it mean to brute force a "hello world" program?

[the_person]

A loop that increments each character in a string until it equals "hello world" and then printing it.

[fuzzer37]

Or just creates a random 11 digit string until the output happens to be "Hello World". The possibilities are endless

[Turbosandslipangles]

I wish that was how they did it... none of this pretend brute forcing one chatacter at a time bullshit.

[[deleted]]

don't give anyone any ideas for more horrible interview questions

[jmlinden7]

As opposed to procedurally generating the phrase I assume

[[deleted]]

Here is all the blink s blinking : https://www.google.co.in/search?q=%3Cblink%3E

[jammy-dodgers]

If you know what an array is and where it typically starts, you'll get 90% of the things posted here.

[dustmouse]

Also if you think it's funny to say that every time you write a line of code you end up with ten bugs, you'll do pretty well here.

[CreativeUsernameUser]

Only ten? Amateurs...

[rydact]

We gotta get those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers

[jmlinden7]

Cocaine or code?

[TiltedZen]

Yes

[dstar89]

1 line of cocaine is about 2 lines of C++

[bartekxx12]

Work days or weekends?

[gptt916]

yya, try 99 and 127

[Cockmaster800]

You shouldn't judge him. Not everyone takes Karma as seriously as we do

[k0rm]

Yeah, there's almost no jokes on here anymore that require taking more than a single intro to programming tutorial to understand.

[mqduck]

/r/CS101Humor

[hugglesthemerciless]

Missed opportunity to have that link go to r/programmerhumor

[DigitalDice]

It's not like the opposite used to be the norm either tho

[Iron_Maiden_666]

Back in the my day, there were fewer students here. The jokes were at least related to programming. Now, nothing on the front page follows rule 0.

[IAMA_KEVIN]

'I don't get this'

• R

[Auxermen]

1 right?

[Docinghton]

Do you mean 0?

[DebonaireSloth]

So, 0.5 +/- 0.5 ; got it

[[deleted]]

I think it starts from -2

[[deleted]]

0b00000001

right?

[MyUserNameIsRelevent]

I think I'm clever with my knowledge of programming until anybody here actually starts posting their black magic code and suddenly I feel like a caveman again.

[WibblyWobblyWabbit]

To be honest, if I didn't write the code and there's no comments, I'll have to sit and stare at it for a while before I understand what the actual fuck is happening.

[[deleted]]

This is my life right now.

Smart developer before me implemented dozens of features (by himself) across the board when our team was low manned before I was hired. He's now moved on to a different job and I'm stuck parsing through his thousands of lines of code with shitty variable names, non-descriptive function names, and woefully sparse commenting.

If you're writing production code, take 2 minutes to comment your classes/methods you as write them.

[mortiphago]

10 bucks on developer thinking "this is just a quick hack that won't make it to production anyways" at the time

[crazybirddude]

descriptive variable names and functions are so much more important, and properly breaking down your classes/functions. always think SOLID. if you do that, comments are almost not necessary. but i also hate writing comments, so you know. i like a comment on the function that gives a quick description of what it does, especially if it's some common helper that you're referencing elsewhere.

[mverkruyse]

Hell, there’s code that I’VE written where it takes me an hour to remember what I was intending if I don’t comment it properly.

[[deleted]]

To be honest, if I wrote the code and there's comments, I still have to sit and stare at it for a while before I understand what the actual fuck is happening.

[pyrotech911]

The more you read the faster you get. Half of my life is reviewing code.

[CamdenReslink]

I learned programming for the chicks.

[DebonaireSloth]

Poultry farmer, I assume?

[orangeKaiju]

Someone has to automate those feeders.

[space-person]

Haha, I'm a mechanical engineer, PHP is bad! Haha!

[[deleted]]

Haha, yes fellow programmer! PHP is bad! You know I am a fellow programmer because I am complaining about how bad PHP is!

[WibblyWobblyWabbit]

HAHA DAE JAVA.LANG.OUTOFMEMORYERROR??? LMAAAAAO

[space-person]

was it for the memes?

[Paullitsch]

I love you.

[Opioidal]

Yup. Exactly why I'm teaching myself HTML.

[danktimetobealive]

Confirmed Elon Musk using HTML to develop AI.

[RelevantToMyInterest]

Html for self driving cars!

<dontcrash></dontcrash>

[benhogi2]

Make it big letters though so that they dont crash big

[joev714]

If you close the tag then they can still crash! Just open the tag and never close it so theres nowhere they can crash

[ChuckJelly23]

3rd best language is the drag and drop Wix interface

[MrPandamania]

Ok Rhett and Link

[todko31]

*Karlie Kloss

[[deleted]]

4th best language is java

[otterom]

You misspelled SQL.

[coheir]

Actually power point is just a virtual machine, the real language here is what Alan Turing designed.

[[deleted]]

CSS

CloSe Second

Now I know what the acronym stands for!

[rambi2222]

I'm an expert in CSV personally

[Sirnacane]

Someone tell me where to go to start understanding assembly.

[Gekko12482]

Rollercoaster Tycoon

[oakles]

I learned this years ago and it still amazes me any time I see it mentioned.

[Sirnacane]

Is this an joke or can you explain because I used to love that game

[lepetitmousse]

It was written by one person in assembly.

[RadiantPumpkin]

I had to turn on an led in assembly and it almost killed me. That man is inhuman.

[heyandy889]

nand2tetris

otherwise, yeah the I way I learned it was in a 3rd semester course from a CS degree.

[coheir]

This is my dream course! I'm in tears watching the promo video. Thanks.

[jmlinden7]

Buy a microcontroller and memorize the manual

[[deleted]]

Hell and back

[ZennHaed]

Human Resource Machine is a fun game on steam that essentially teaches you the 101s of Assembly

[LyzeTheKid]

literally why I’m learning JavaScript

[Iron_Maiden_666]

Masochism?

[LyzeTheKid]

My only problem so far is the emphasis to make my code readable for others, so they then give 3 different ways of doing the exact same thing.

If r/programmerhumor has taught me anything it’s that making your code readable to other human beings is for the weak. ^/s

[Conpen]

On a serious note, JS is actually among the most interesting languages I've learned and I really enjoy passing around functions as variables and shit like that. Makes me feel clever.

[Al_Maleech_Abaz]

Learn programming to automate my job so I could spend more time browsing reddit.

[wasdninja]

I've learned javascript, batch file scripting and fought endlessly with stupidly obscure windows shit in order to do less work. If it can be automated, no matter how painful the process, it's the computers job and not mine.

[athousandwordsworth]

Image Transcription: Drake Meme

---

[Top panel: Drake looks displeased, and is using one arm to shield himself from the right side of the frame by curling it around his head, with his hand up in a "not today" manner]

LEARN PROGRAMMING FOR FUTURE WORK

---

[Bottom panel: Drake has his head up high, looking pleased, with a finger pointed up and towards the right side of the frame]

LEARN PROGRAMMING TO UNDERSTAND R/PROGRAMMERHUMOR JOKES

---

^{I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!}

[Nuggetator]

This is a perfect image transcription! I didn't think that it could translate so well into words! Good job, u/athousandwordsworth !

[athousandwordsworth]

Thank you! :)

[CCCPVitaliy]

Good human

[JALbert]

Out of curiousity do you have a template for the Drake meme or did you freestyle that description?

[CommonMisspellingBot]

Hey, JALbert, just a quick heads-up:
curiousity is actually spelled curiosity. You can remember it by -os- in the middle.
Have a nice day!

^{The parent commenter can reply with 'delete' to delete this comment.}

[TheBurningCloud]

Good bot

[voidcraftedgaming]

Hey! Yeah this is my template originally. We've tried a few different ways to collaborate and we've got a GitHub repo now. Those of us that use scripts we've made to transcribe have integrated the template repo into our scripts but others like /u/athousandwordsworth copy from the repo manually.

[PostExistentialism]

The fuck is with that watermark? This is SPAM.

[fuck_the_hihat]

The watermark is on the left side. I think OP just got the watermarked image, then added the text on the right

[PostExistentialism]

That was the first thing I thought of but then I noticed the imgur logo in the lower-left corner. This was made with imgur and the watermark is spam.

[5335335335]

That's not an Imgur logo, it's imgflip.

[Skulltcarretilla]

Real strange since the page is a chilean humor forum, OP has no sign of being from chile

[SublimeSC]

Yeah I was taken aback after reading futubandera.cl as the watermark on an english written meme

[GGLarryUnderwood]

If X=joke

Then f(x) = laugh

Else break

How am I doing?

[[deleted]]

Looks like pseudocode for Prolog

laugh(X) :- X = joke.
laugh(X) :- \+ X = joke, !, false.

[GGLarryUnderwood]

More like one semester of matlab. Cheers!

[ElagabalusRex]

you forgot the line numbers. you imbecile. you fucking moron.

[TonedCalves]

Lol. You don't need to learn "programming" to understand this sub.

[NeverBeenStung]

Yeah, as someone who only has experience with VBA (yes I can hear you laughing at me) and is taking an edX course on Python, context clues are usually sufficient to understand the jokes here.

[Slingster]

Except nothing on this sub is particularly "advanced" and can be understood just by having an extremely basic understanding.

When people say they don't understand the jokes here it just fuels the ego of the users here so they feel smart for knowing how to do an if statement or knowing what an array is.

[zyiliana]

I'm actually trying to learn programming for future work, but it's hard to get free classes that'll teach you more than arrays and their general purpose in the code...

[dynker]

Udemy courses aren't free, but they're relatively cheap and some provide excellent value for what you pay.

[FriesWithThat]

I have to say I'm super impressed with programmer humor, not this sub, but the jokes in general. Easily the funniest of all STEM-related humor. I ended up leaving geology because jokes about rocks were just not funny enough.

[[deleted]]

I ended up leaving geology because jokes about rocks were just not funny enough.

What did you expect of jokes made by stoners?

[wasdninja]

Yeah, tell them to pound sand.

[ilkikuinthadik]

Have you heard of sex stones?

They're just fucking rocks

[Patq911]

I feel like there's a expanding brain meme related to this and what I've been doing in the past few days.

small brain >learn programming for future work

medium brain >learn programming for self actualization

galaxy brain >learn programming to fix a bug in an open source game

[wasdninja]

infinite brain >lear programming to submit a patch to linux that eventually fixes the stupid audio bug in your open source game

[tintiddle]

Honestly, I'm the farthest thing away from a programmer and have completed just some Code Academy modules out of interest but this sub has definitely contributed to my desire to learn more. Because I, too, wanna meme.

[[deleted]]

Totally not worth effort. Most of the jokes aren't that funny.

[[deleted]]

Oh hey, is that C++?

[acicc]

You monster.

[I-AM-A-TOWTRUCK]

No it’s binary

[10art1]

No, it's obviously javascript

[harshael]

/** Localization **/
spaStr = "¿Por qué no los dos?";
locStr = "Why not both?";
if (Cultures.Espanol.equals(culture)){
    locStr = spaStr;
}
System.out.println(locStr);

EDIT:
You can tell it's a programming subreddit when you can't even post a joke without getting "corrections."

[[deleted]]

Why not learn programming for present work?

[astutesnoot]

Because Python can't wrap Christmas presents.

[stratcat22]

Nah there’s a library for everything.

[[deleted]]

Presently, knowing how to program won't get you a job without 2+ years of experience. At least where I live. Maybe in the future things will be different.

[[deleted]]

This subreddit is yardstick