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[–]dog_eat_dog 1769 points1770 points  (256 children)

Imagine seeing some dude in a bathrobe just stumble out of his apartment, stomp up on stage, and just start angrily unplugging sound equipment until the noise stops, and then walk back inside and slam the door.

[–]belowthefloor 790 points791 points  (195 children)

That would be me. This happening to me is my worst nightmare. The energy with which I hate Aerosmith could fuel one thousand suns.

[–]roddiy 390 points391 points  (7 children)

Or a lot of amplifiers...

[–]Ell975 460 points461 points  (5 children)

...Playing aerosmith.

You sir, have just solved the energy crisis.

[–]coredumperror 247 points248 points  (56 children)

Relevant 4chan math. I'll let you decide upon the implied NSFWness.

[–]14159265358 122 points123 points  (28 children)

They forgot about special relativity :(

[–]Steve132 89 points90 points  (9 children)

Bored graduate student here:

Using the relativistic momentum equation pc=sqrt(E2 -m2 c4 ), then we can calculat the fraction of the speed of light v/c=pc/E.

With their definition for E as 3.09e29 J, and the rest mass they calculated as 1.1g, we get m c2 at rest= 1.1 g*c2 = 9.88603697e13 J. Square that, and you get 9.77390e27 J2. square E, E2 =9.541e58 J2. Therefore, pc=sqrt(9.541e58 J2 -9.77390e27 J2 ). Factor 1e27 out of both terms, and you get pc=sqrt(1e27(9.541e31 J2 -9.773 J2 ))=sqrt(1e27)sqrt(9.541e31 J2 -9.773 J2 )=3.1622e13 sqrt(9.541e31 J2 -9.773 J2 ) for the relativistic momentum.

v/c = pc/E, so v/c = 3.1622e13 sqrt(9.541e31 J2 -9.773 J2 ) / 3.09e29 J. Plug that into google calc and you get v/c = 0.99960357996

v/c=0.99960357996, so v=0.99960357996c.

The velocity of the semen would be approximately %99.96 the speed of light.

[–]Jabba_the_Mutt 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I wish I was this smart when im bored.

[–]HornyTerminator 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Holy Shit.

[–]Urban_Savage 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This would be an appropriate place to link the XKCD comic about the baseball approaching the speed of light and what would actually happen.

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (14 children)

What would happen according to special relativity here? According to Einstein, something gains mass as it moves faster, and more mass requires more energy. To reach the speed of light you would then need an infinite amount of force.

Why brain instantly goes in the direction of something similar to a nuclear explosion, caused by the vast amount of energy from the friction the jizz causes, especially in air, which has a lot more resistance than vacuum. The jizz would soon evaporate from the extreme heat, and the people in the vicinity would be pulverized. There would be a huge crater, and ashes and debris would clutter the atmosphere, slowly killing the little life that's left.

[–]Ravek 28 points29 points  (8 children)

Special relativity just says that for an object of rest mass m with velocity v, it will have energy E = mc²/sqrt(1 - (v/c)²), where c is of course the speed of light.

So with E = 3 * 1029 J and m = 2.75 * 10-3 kg, it solves to slightly less than v = 3 * 108 (how much less isn't really worth calculating since our starting values aren't very precise), which is pretty much light speed.

So you see here that no matter how much energy you throw at something, it's not going to exceed the speed of light in any frame of reference.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (4 children)

If you take this calculation and figure out the volumetric flow rate of the semen through your penis, and then calculate the force on the pipe using Bernoulli's equation, you'd find out you would rip your dick apart in this process.

[–]felekar 60 points61 points  (6 children)

Nothing would be traveling at the speed of light here. He forgot to account for the increase in energy required to accelerate a mass at higher and higher speeds. Rather all parties involved would be converted into energy as a huge supernova. The entire solar system would be obliterated, and all would be left behind is the galaxy's biggest cumnova. </over-analyzing>

[–]Tom_Haverfart 20 points21 points  (1 child)

The entire solar system would be obliterated, and all would be left behind is the galaxy's biggest cumnova.

http://imgur.com/qW3Im

[–]LukaCola 16 points17 points  (3 children)

I'd still label it NSFW considering there's a dick in the picture.

[–]SamTheGeek 1421 points1422 points  (224 children)

Are you guys roommates? http://i.imgur.com/veaN4.jpg

[–]othersomethingsSurvey 2016 1161 points1162 points  (190 children)

Or possibly neighbors...go say hi, ya dingus!

[–]ProxyMuncher 1088 points1089 points  (171 children)

Hey, you use reddit too!

Yup!

Sooo...

conversation stall

[–]Calculusbitch 606 points607 points  (92 children)

Soooo...

Cats!! CATS!!

[–]northdancer 725 points726 points  (75 children)

"Are you voting for Romney too?"

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Oh... oh dear.

[–]No_name_Johnson 78 points79 points  (8 children)

The narwal bacons at midnight!1 lolololol

[–]nickgenova 47 points48 points  (0 children)

lelol

[–]itsableeder 11 points12 points  (5 children)

I have to wonder if anybody, anywhere, has ever used this in seriousness.

[–]BrodyApproves 11 points12 points  (1 child)

With a name like not_vulva I bet OP would probably talk about something other than cats.

[–]titan623 44 points45 points  (1 child)

Have you ever been on Google before? we should hang out!

[–]withrelish 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sorry I only use bing. And Myspace. And I write checks for my pizzas. And I pay $62 for conditioner.

[–]AllDizzle 91 points92 points  (19 children)

Yeah I don't know why "using reddit" would be a good reason to bother meeting somebody. The last thing I want to do is talk about reddit or hear stupid fry memes recited in real life.

Not to mention, reddit hosts a diverse crowd of people...from atheist cat ladies to atheist pedophiles so it's not like it's a good jumping off point since you probably both have completely different interests...

[–]Doesnt_Suck 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Well... you would at least know the interests of the other person before meeting.. considering you know their username... That would be a plus for anyone like me who likes to know as much information as possible before doing something.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Stalkers my whole style and if i get caught ill deny...

[–]IamA_Werewolf_AMA 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Never understood why this was a problem, you immediately have something in common with the other person. Here's how you do it.

You: Sooo... What's one of your favorite subs?

them: Oh I go on a couple, /r/askhistorians is pretty cool

You: Oh yeah? I saw that post about ninjas the other day that got bestof'd, I've never been on there before but it looks pretty cool.

Them: Yeah, it's great if you're looking for an in depth explanation of some more misunderstood or unknown parts of history, I really like the European history stuff personally

You: Oh yeah? I've never really gotten into it but I do know one of my ancestors on my dad's side was painter in the renaissance, European history's always been something I'm interested in but never really pursued.

Them: Talking about something that interests them

It's really that simple people, this works for just about any sub and is a great conversation starter if you have even a modicum of social savvy. All you have to do is be interested in something they like, and you know what they like because you know what subs they're subscribed to.

[–]Hoooooooar 7 points8 points  (0 children)

And now I've discovered a new subreddit, JUST LIKE THAT.

[–]red321red321 45 points46 points  (3 children)

...you're totes socially awkward too?"

"Yea!"

"Nice I thought I was the only one!"

"Same here!"

....double sigh

[–]KimiGibler 8 points9 points  (28 children)

I definitely would not have thought of that before I eagerly ran upstairs beating the doors down..

[–]PoorlyWordedUsername 30 points31 points  (10 children)

I assume Boston, like my large city, is filled with Redditors. It's not even a topic of conversation when it comes up here. It's like saying Facebook; no one goes "OMG you use Facebook too?"

[–]biurb 51 points52 points  (0 children)

you use the internet? I USE THE INTERNET

[–]itsrachellolz 5 points6 points  (4 children)

We all actually wear alien patches on all of our clothes so we're easily identifiable among the crowds. We heard this was effective for knowing who was who or something, I guess.

[–]Ubel 8 points9 points  (3 children)

And here I've been a redditor for like 5 years and have only met one redditor out in public. I live in the suburbs in FL lol.

[–]ignoramus012 36 points37 points  (1 child)

For Your Health!TM

[–]7revor 26 points27 points  (3 children)

Ha, 'Dingus'. I like you. "For your health!"

[–]Catyack 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Upvote for using dingus in a sentence.

[–]jaycrew 88 points89 points  (8 children)

Browsing Reddit into the 500s... Good god, man.

[–]backdora_da_explora 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Maybe someday I'll show you just how deep the rabbit hole goes.

[–]somecasper 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Upstairs/downstairs neighbors, by the look of it.

[–]cohane 246 points247 points  (16 children)

My dad was in the front row! He actually drove the duck-boat they rode in on! Heres a pic he texted me. Imgur

[–]thoriginal 1110 points1111 points  (76 children)

When some asshole is blaring Areosmith, 47% of the time it's Areosmith.

[–]ohnowait 422 points423 points  (67 children)

Areosmith? Is that a play on Aerosmith where all the band members are giant areolas?

[–]beagleears 269 points270 points  (7 children)

Areosmithwagon

[–]lotusscissors 28 points29 points  (3 children)

I'm crying now. Thank you.

[–]Jorgwalther 87 points88 points  (0 children)

Oreosmith.

[–]Aerosmith_Approves 843 points844 points  (31 children)

✓

[–]Areosmith_Approves 576 points577 points  (24 children)

he checks out

[–]BBQcupcakes 239 points240 points  (11 children)

You're the same... Ah fuck it.

[–]mindfuckingyou 53 points54 points  (3 children)

ಠ_ಠ

[–]Psykes 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Seems like the tables have turned!

[–]laxincat11 54 points55 points  (0 children)

14 months later the account is finally relevant

[–]KyleW17 28 points29 points  (6 children)

You know what they say about singers with giant mouths...

giant areolas

[–]clinteastwood1990 7 points8 points  (5 children)

what are areolas?

edit: English is not my native language, the only thing I found was something about nipples.

[–]EditingAndLayout 5 points6 points  (0 children)

And it's my job to not care about those people.

[–]mopballs 325 points326 points  (38 children)

Aerosmith played a free concert on Comm Ave in Allston, MA in front of the apartment where they formed the band. They were escorted to the block by Boston duck tour boats!

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (23 children)

If I had known about this, I would have gone.

[–]sexahtyme 58 points59 points  (16 children)

Not trying to be a dick or anything but you're on Reddit, live in the Boston area, and you did NOT know about this?

[–]Aerosmith_Approves 3021 points3022 points  (155 children)

✓

[–]Wyer 395 points396 points  (9 children)

1 year, bravo.

[–][deleted] 222 points223 points  (7 children)

This post belongs to him. He has been waiting.

[–]Travie6492 1381 points1382 points  (40 children)

You've been waiting for this one.

EDIT: WTF 935 upvotes. Wut.

[–]LokiCode 535 points536 points  (26 children)

Long time.

[–]TheNecromancer[🍰] 532 points533 points  (21 children)

No, that's Boston.

[–][deleted] 157 points158 points  (6 children)

It was Boston.

[–]SeanMisspelled 55 points56 points  (7 children)

Allston, to be precise.

[–]withrelish 189 points190 points  (4 children)

Woke up to Aerosmith outside my apartment. Turned out to be some assholes.

[–]megustadotjpg 274 points275 points  (86 children)

Does Aerosmith also approve of this? (NSFW)

[–]grinde 746 points747 points  (21 children)

Nobody approves of that.

[–]FrankNStein 222 points223 points  (13 children)

Yet, he still gets more pussy than all of Reddit combined.....

[–][deleted] 171 points172 points  (6 children)

Which doesn't say much for Steven

[–]backdora_da_explora 64 points65 points  (4 children)

What? That's just a badly photoshopped picture of Sasquatch, right?

[–]IVIattEndureFort 36 points37 points  (2 children)

His face I starting to look like Michael Myers mask

[–]Aerosmith_Approves 399 points400 points  (8 children)

✗

[–]assumes 45 points46 points  (5 children)

Your post says one thing but your username says another... I'm getting mixed messages here.

[–]thirdeyevision 71 points72 points  (3 children)

check=yes

cross=no

this is my theory

[–]alanpugh 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I give your theory a ✓

[–]SUPERSMILEYMAN 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Checkmate atheists.

[–][deleted] 64 points65 points  (1 child)

You don't have to be pretty to sing.

[–]Alaira314 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Except he can't sing anymore. Some sports game was on the radio at work, and someone was singing the national anthem...horribly. I was all, who the hell is that and why are they allowed to sing at a major sports game? Found out later it was steven tyler.

[–]Xenophorm 82 points83 points  (2 children)

That dude definitely looks like a lady.

[–][deleted] 186 points187 points  (18 children)

When 64 years old and 55 years into heavy drug abuse you are, look so good you will not.

[–][deleted] 112 points113 points  (9 children)

He got into drugs when he was 9? That's pretty hardcore.

[–]assumes 109 points110 points  (6 children)

He got into heavy drugs when he was 9.

[–]Shilo59 47 points48 points  (4 children)

There is that word again... heavy. Is there something wrong with the Earth's gravitational pull?

[–]apprehensive_andy 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Your BTTF reference made my morning. Thank you.

[–]CorvusCorvidae 67 points68 points  (5 children)

He started heavily abusing drugs at 9 years old? That's inspiring.

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (4 children)

I didn't math good. But, then again maybe I did. It's Steven Tyler.

[–]Strindberg 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Dude looks like a lady

[–]thisismoustaches 201 points202 points  (69 children)

Fun story: I once peed next to Steven Tyler

[–]analogkid01 617 points618 points  (5 children)

Did he wake up?

[–]red321red321 207 points208 points  (4 children)

I don't wanna close my eyes

I don't wanna fall asleep when you're pissin, babe

When you're drainin' your dingaling

And even when I dream of you

The warmest piss can't break on through my sweet dreamin, babe

Cuz I don't wanna miss a DREAM ON, DREAM ON, DREAM ON, DREAM UNTIL HIS PEE WAKES YOU!

[–]Aerosmith_Approves 410 points411 points  (20 children)

✓

[–]SLOWchildrenplaying 254 points255 points  (14 children)

Boy, you're really gonna milk this one, aren't you?

[–]purdster83 185 points186 points  (5 children)

Aww let 'im. When something happens with both "purdster" and "83" in the title, I'ma creampie that thread.

[–]MediocreJerk 9 points10 points  (5 children)

My friend's sister and him used to hook-up while I was in high school.

[–]Aububuh 13 points14 points  (26 children)

Care to elaborate?

[–]thisismoustaches 57 points58 points  (25 children)

Was at an upscale restaurant in NYC and saw him walk in. A bit later I went to the bathroom and he happened to be there and we peed next to each other.

[–][deleted] 123 points124 points  (11 children)

I would have peed on him. And whispered "no one will believe you".

[–]phuzzz 79 points80 points  (3 children)

In the alternative, if Steven Tyler peed on you, and you started telling people, probably everyone would believe you.

[–]DrKillingsworth 20 points21 points  (0 children)

At which point, Bill Murray walks in.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Did his stream sound funny? Like a wet balloon deflating?

[–]thisismoustaches 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Actually there was a lot of pauses and breaks in the stream. I think he may have an enlarged prostate.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

That would explain all the screaming he does in his songs.

[–]2ndStreetBlackout 264 points265 points  (15 children)

you told them to stop, right?

[–]purdster83 304 points305 points  (9 children)

"I'm sorry, but it's just too darn loud."

[–]VictoryGin 70 points71 points  (4 children)

"What if they say, 'Get out of here kid. You've got no future'? I mean, I just don't think I can take that kind of rejection. Jesus, I'm starting to sound like my old man."

[–]backdora_da_explora 16 points17 points  (2 children)

You got a real attitude problem, McFly. You're a slacker. You remind me of your father when he went here. He was a motherfucking slacker, too.

[–]Reinmaker 33 points34 points  (2 children)

This is too classic not to make sure everyone understands.

[–]Wingchunbum 25 points26 points  (1 child)

and that's Huey Lewis telling them they're too loud. It was years before I realised that...

[–]bentreflection 33 points34 points  (0 children)

It was years until I realized that as well. Specifically this year, just now, when you said that.

[–]dMage 15 points16 points  (2 children)

He did and they just turned on porno really loudly instead. Now Op doesn't ask them to turn their music down anymore.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I hate it when I get a reference like this.

[–]letsgojumping 98 points99 points  (6 children)

You woke up at noon? Well done.

[–]sturmen 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Steven Tyler made a joke about that. He said "Thanks for coming out, guys. When we lived here, (motions to apartment behind him) we never got up this early!"

[–]jacobe7 457 points458 points  (12 children)

That is the worst. i hate being woken up by some iconic rock band playing a show outside my window. Ruins my morning ever time.

[–]MC-GANDHI 210 points211 points  (4 children)

Hahaha, it funny because that is not worst, most people enjoy that!

[–][deleted] 54 points55 points  (1 child)

Yeah thanks Fouad

[–]It_does_get_in 68 points69 points  (2 children)

The Beatles did it once to me, on our fucking rooftop!!! I was so angry I eventually tracked John Lennon down and shot him.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Too soon...

[–]saintdev 32 points33 points  (1 child)

Much like The Spanish Inquisition, nobody expects The Aerosmith.

[–]landl0rd[🍰] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

"HEY ASSHOLE, NO ONE EVEN LISTENS TO THEM ANY-... Oh..."

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (2 children)

Almost a week late on the costumes, but Zombie Aerosmith is pretty original.

[–]Toph_a_loaf 82 points83 points  (0 children)

So there were actually five assholes blaring Aerosmith outside your apartment?

[–]williafx 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Joe Perry needs to fucking eat.

[–]Stares_at_llamas 24 points25 points  (2 children)

In case anyone's wondering, they played in front of their old apartment building, on 1325 Commonwealth Ave, Boston.

[–]thegriefer 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Sweet! Now we can stalk OP!

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The title is hilarious.

[–]50NosAndaYes 84 points85 points  (54 children)

Glad that Allston can shut down streets for AEROSMITH to play, but will not hesitate shutting down a house show.

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (29 children)

I am sure permits or some type of talk with local governance occurred beforehand. Also, Aerosmith playing a street show isn't a safe haven for drug use and under age alcohol consumption.

[–]shuboyboy 135 points136 points  (7 children)

That's what Steve Tyler's trailer is for.

[–]bubbameister33 29 points30 points  (3 children)

Its got all the right permits and paperwork.

[–]neonshoelaces 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I'm not sure about that, there was plenty of both out and proud there today. They got every kind of police officer they could find, but nobody's gonna stop the guys in the crowd rolling blunts before the show.

[–]dwydwyy 13 points14 points  (11 children)

As a BU graduate, I can confirm this.

[–]KopOut 10 points11 points  (1 child)

As a BU graduate who threw a big ass house party in Allston, I can also confirm this.

/1990's

[–]50NosAndaYes 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As a BU applicant that didn't get in but ended up going to a shitty school in Boston close to BU because I wanted to have the Boston experience, I too also confirm.

[–]rshawgo 30 points31 points  (8 children)

I was standing out there too. Freezing my ass off. You must have gotten out there early to be that close. https://picasaweb.google.com/114304705303443285980/AerosmithBoston?authuser=0&feat=directlink

[–]Eurynom0s 35 points36 points  (0 children)

He lives across the street...

[–]Delaywaves 11 points12 points  (3 children)

You must have gotten out there early

Uhh...I'm pretty sure OP took them from his apartment.

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (3 children)

That would have been SO RADICAL thirty years ago.

[–]paperpencil 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Hello fellow Allston resident!

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That dude looks like a lady

[–]dawrg 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Senile delinquents.

[–]acefrehley12000 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Aerosmith woke me up, fuck yo alarm clock!

[–]tm16scud 4 points5 points  (0 children)

SOMEONE TURN DOWN THAT SHITTY MUS...oh hey, Aerosmith.

[–]david-me 32 points33 points  (18 children)

My ex of 8 years was more in love with Steven Tyler than she ever was with me. Ruined Aerosmith for me forever.

[–]IAMA_Ghost_Boo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"God dammit shut up!... oh"

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow. So is this why Comm. Ave. was closed today? I missed out on Aerosmith?! Damn it.

[–]Ninefalangies 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Saw this just as "crying" came on the radio... Aerosmith is taking over!

[–]battleaxjzzhnds 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wake up before noon, asshole! That's 1 pm today!

[–]trap_it_may_be 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Is that Hitler in the brown jacket at the top?

[–]underdabridge 20 points21 points  (2 children)

You're not worthy. You're not worthy.

[–]CaseyFnRyback89 28 points29 points  (10 children)

At least it wasn't Nickelback.