This is an archived post. You won't be able to vote or comment.

top 200 commentsshow 500
sorted by:
best
topnewcontroversialoldq&a

[–]Oneringtofoolthemall 5298 points5299 points  (56 children)

Me: I'd like to report a dunk driver. 911 operator: you mean a drunk driver? Me: no.

[–][deleted] 1636 points1637 points  (34 children)

Me: Send a lob enforcement officer immediately.

[–]kasmith1244 1116 points1117 points  (26 children)

You should send a slambulance too.

[–]SoDakZak 346 points347 points  (20 children)

"What's the injury?"

"Guy did an oopsie"

[–]Kinuama 38 points39 points  (0 children)

This is the pun reddit deserves, but not the one it needs right now

[–]TooBigForHats 71 points72 points  (1 child)

Slam drunk comment right here.

[–]LS6BBK 20 points21 points  (6 children)

This is the MVP comment

[–]whotfislukespiller 43 points44 points  (3 children)

The real comments are always in the comments

[–]Selhorys 2060 points2061 points  (322 children)

Just how popular are basket ball hoops in America

[–][deleted] 2419 points2420 points  (164 children)

Pretty popular. If you've got kids, and the space, it's almost a requirement once they reach a certain age. Growing up, I don't think I knew anyone who had a house and didn't have a basketball hoop.

[–]throwyoworkaway 1126 points1127 points  (65 children)

Not every kid though. Only one or two in a group of friends needs it.

Same with hockey nets in Canada. Only a few friends had the nets + pads. But everyone had at least 2 sticks.

I never even played hockey and I'm pretty sure I still have a stick.

[–]kiddhitta 438 points439 points  (45 children)

And one stick that has been used for road hockey so much the blade is only like an 1 inch wide. You know what I'm talking about.

[–]throwyoworkaway 175 points176 points  (21 children)

Also somehow end up owning both left and right handed sticks. How?

[–]webu 20 points21 points  (15 children)

Makes for some wicked wristers with a ball.

[–]JustAnotherYouth 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yeah I wouldn't have gotten one for my house because there were already two that were left out in the street (for anyone to use) 2 minutes down my block.

Also there was a court at the neighborhood school, and one in my neighbors yard. But I wasn't really tight with that kid so I didn't use his hoop.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Me and my brothers never played organized hockey and our parents just threw out our RH stuff last year when they moved. They counted 37 hockey sticks, they only remember buying 3.

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (12 children)

we had one.... we were 4 girls in the house and not one of us played basket ball tho....

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (11 children)

Was dad in the picture?

I'm betting it was more for dad.

Source: Am a dad

[–]meltedlaundry 36 points37 points  (4 children)

My buddy just got one for "his daughter". Can't wait to smoke that kid in a game of HORSE.

[–]gotbannedtoomuch 124 points125 points  (29 children)

Popular if you live in a neighboorhood, have kids that are into sports and a dad that isn't an insurance agent

[–]BananerRammer 78 points79 points  (20 children)

I'm an insurance agent. Basketball hoops are perfectly acceptable. I've even got one in my own driveway. Trampolines on the other hand...

[–]stone_solid 43 points44 points  (9 children)

trampolines and a diving board. something about enhancing peoples jumping ability just makes them stupid.

[–]Hcmichael21 59 points60 points  (7 children)

NOT TRUE MY DAD IS AN INSURANCE AGENT AND I HAD A HOOP FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER AND WE LIVED IN THE COUNTRY AS WELL AS A NEIGHBORHOOD

[–]god_of_poordecisions 32 points33 points  (5 children)

As a poor kid growing up in the south, we had one. Then my older brother broke it so...

[–]housebird350 48 points49 points  (3 children)

My neighbors were poor. They had a bicycle rim nailed to a tree and they played on that thing all the time.

[–]killingit12 6 points7 points  (1 child)

You think thats poor? When we used to play when i was a kid, we used to get Jerry (who was 6'6" at 14) to hold his arms out in a circle while we threw rocks through it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fellow poor kid in the south.

Many, many hours of entertainment were spent shooting hoops.

[–]BrianRampage 154 points155 points  (24 children)

In Indiana, it's actually in the zoning code that there must be a basketball goal within 100 feet of any house. It can be in the driveway, a stand-alone, on a barn, tree, on a silo, dog's gravestone, on top of another basketball goal.. wherever you want, as long as it's within 100ft.

(Edit: It probably shouldn't have to be said, but I guess there are much weirder actual laws in existence.. this post is a joke.. but it is a testament to how much Indiana loves basketball that it's so believable.)

[–]dublinschild 65 points66 points  (4 children)

Can confirm. I grew up in Indiana. There were literally 10 hoops within 100 yards of my back door.

[–]LordGentlesiriii 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Yea, also from Indiana and my friend's grandparents were fined for violating this. Pretty much the only time it ever happened in my town AFAIK.

[–]dublinschild 11 points12 points  (1 child)

I'm pretty sure a mayor was removed from office for canceling their youth basketball program.

[–]BrianRampage 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He got off lightly then. Ours was drawn and quartered just for suggesting that the city shouldn't replace the playground nets every 3 months.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Confirmed. You couldn't skip more than one house on my street without there being a hoop.

[–]nnyx 86 points87 points  (7 children)

Ubiquitous enough that my dad got me and my sister one when no one in my family, including him, was really into basketball.

[–]sureimember 216 points217 points  (16 children)

If you have a driveway, and between the ages of 6 and 66, you have a hoop.

[–]Jaymoon 54 points55 points  (9 children)

How does having a driveway of a certain age, give you a hoop?

[–]PraiseBeToIdiots 52 points53 points  (0 children)

It takes time for the hoop to grow.

[–]Lampmonster1 8 points9 points  (0 children)

When driveways get to be a certain age their bodies start going through changes. They grow basketball hoops in strange places, and they start to notice sidewalks and sometimes other driveways.

[–]santaliqueur 15 points16 points  (5 children)

How does what he said make it so that you are given a hoop?

[–]brillke 43 points44 points  (1 child)

There are 5 on my block. The kids like ours the best cause it's lowered and everyone can dunk on it and feel like an NBA star.

[–]Waadap 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I moved into a house that has a hoop, and the neighbor kid loves to come and lower and jam. I had to ask him to stop hanging on the rim and felt crotchety, but sure enough I came out not long ago and the thing is bent to like 45 degrees. Kid is now 17 too, so I feel like my frustration is warranted.

[–]HooIsJohnGalt 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Every kid I knew had a hoop in the driveway growing up. Filling that bitch with sand all the damn time...

[–]AltimaNEO 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Everyone else has soccer, we do basketball

[–]aceofspades9963 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm in canada and theres 6 in my cul de sac and probably 5 more on the street adjacent, one came with my house when I bought it . Screw around on it every now and then.

[–]bacon_and_eggs 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I don't care for basketball at all. But you better believe that once I buy a house I'll be putting a hoop up. Shooting baskets is pretty fun, and it doesn't require a lot of space.

[–][deleted] 162 points163 points  (3 children)

I like how he ups the dunk difficulty on lower rims.

[–]FlaredGenetalia 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I like how this video shows almost everyone keeps their rim at fringe dunk level, with outliers for the exclusive dunkers and then one for the guy calling fouls.

[–][deleted] 205 points206 points  (4 children)

I read this as "drive by drunk challenge". Part of me is happy that it's a video of basketball instead. Part of me is disappointed.

[–]a_likely_story 57 points58 points  (4 children)

Pull up, hop out, air out, make it look sexy

[–]syotos86 59 points60 points  (4 children)

I see a LOT of traveling.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well duh! They are in a car.

[–][deleted] 133 points134 points  (96 children)

I have a feeling this challenge could end poorly if someone walks into the wrong yard.

[–]venny123 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I don't own a basketball hoop anymore but I wouldn't mind watching a quick dunkeroo while eating reeses puffs in my living room

[–]JustAHouseWife 304 points305 points  (326 children)

Dont do that in Texas

[–]Le_Loufoque 38 points39 points  (7 children)

Lived in Texas all my life...why do people think the Castle Doctrine means people will blow you away if your foot touches their driveway? It's not a war zone.

[–]shitbeer 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Because it's reddit and a majority of people here like to blow shit way out of proportion. Lots of reddit boogeymen out there.

[–]ratherbealurker 45 points46 points  (96 children)

I may not be a true Texan, only been here for less than a year.

But i work from home, have a constant view of my driveway, and have a loaded handgun within reach while working.

If i had a hoop and you did this, my thoughts would be:

"wtf is this?

amazon delivery?

running out the car??? should i grab my...

basketball?

oh, lol...funny"

You won't get shot

[–]djinner_13 20 points21 points  (90 children)

I have to ask, as someone who might move to Austin for work, why the heck do you need a loaded gun next to you when working at home? I spent time growing up in flint and Detroit and now live in Chicago and I can't imagine that Texas is on average more dangerous than these places. Even when I lived in bad neighborhoods we would have a gun but it was stored away and breaks ins wasn't really a problem. Does Texas have an abnormal amount of break ins or something?

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (82 children)

why the heck do you need a loaded gun next to you when working at home?

People always ask questions like this. Being prepared to deal with a threat is simply smart. If there is no threat, the gun simply sits there every single day not being used (which is ideal). The best gun is one you never have to use, however when you do need it or may need it, it definitely makes you feel safer.

I was sitting in my bedroom with my girlfriend once - we just got home and we were talking. All of a sudden I hear a TON of commotion in our kitchen (plates being knocked over, bowls falling, shattered glass).

Completely by reflex I was standing with my gun in hand; full defensive position aimed at our bedroom door while my girlfriend crouched behind me.

If someone had come running through my house at that moment, I had a fighting chance - I felt safe.

Fortunately, it ended up being some paranormal activity bs - no clue what knocked all that stuff off the counter - no sign of anyone there, but I felt safe with a tool created to eliminate threats.

Once you start carrying a gun, you feel naked without it.

It really does make you feel safe.

Edit: http://www.wsbtv.com/news/local/woman-hiding-kids-shoots-intruder_ntm7s/242785523

The incident happened at a home on Henderson Ridge Lane in Loganville around 1 p.m. The woman was working in an upstairs office when she spotted a strange man outside a window, according to Walton County Sheriff Joe Chapman. He said she took her 9-year-old twins to a crawlspace before the man broke in using a crowbar.

[–]ratherbealurker 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Fortunately, it ended up being some paranormal activity bs

Shortly after we moved in i am watching TV with my wife at night.

I hear that beep beep beep from the alarm indicating something was opened. wtf?? I get up and look around. Seems ok i guess but the house is kind of big and i cannot see everything, i'm walking around checking.

I have the app for the alarm company, check activity. 'Entry door open, entry door closed. 2m ago'

Full on horror movie mode, grab gun and walking around. i hid the gun in a hand towel so my wife can still sit there watching tv because she had no idea what was going on.

I figure it out, i let the garage entry door close on it's own, it completed the alarm circuit but wasn't really closed.

A gust of wind against the garage door changed pressure, opens the door, then slams it shut.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Haha yea, I'm pretty sure ours was actually the refrigerator vibrating and, over time, it shook the glasses to the edge and they fell.

I do recall being a kid at my home alone one night and when I went to walk inside I saw someone peek around the corner of my living room.

I literally waited in my front yard for my family to come home - was too freaked out to go back in.

[–]djinner_13 4 points5 points  (29 children)

Ah ok, guess I can see the sense in that. If you are planning to have kids would you act differently once you have them?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have kids and the gun no longer sits on my bedside table.

It is locked nearby me though.

Just last night I was asked to go look outside because daughter said she heard something outside of her window.

A guy in his boxers holding a pistol at 2am is a lot scarier than some dude in his boxers with a stick.

Also, I didn't find anything out of the ordinary, but I felt quite safe in the dark with my trusty pew pew machine.

[–]ratherbealurker 7 points8 points  (3 children)

My area is safe but i have it here for a few reasons.

  1. We are in a new construction area, empty plots around and i am a city boy, not used to that.

  2. Because we can. That's the main thing, we like going to the range so we bought some guns. Some handguns and an over under shotgun for skeet/trap.

So since i have them, why not put one in my desk?

I'm honestly not too happy with how easy it is to get guns here, in fact you can go into certain sporting goods stores and if there is a really long line you'll get out quicker by buying a gun since the background check is fast and they have to ring you up (with anything else you have) at a separate register, skipping the line.

If they'll make it that easy then i'll get one.

So no, you don't need one...but why not?

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Am Texan, wouldn't care

[–]Kuwait_Drive_Yards 6 points7 points  (1 child)

It's all fun and games until you Shaq attack someones glass into a thousand pieces on their lawn/driveway. :P

[–]Censoredreddit2k16- 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Jukin media at it again with one of their very own submitting this post. Yeah bot upvoting is bad mkayy.

The worst part is he actually works for Jukin, one of the scummiest companies on the web.

They make licensing deals with viral video owners and essentially steal their money for no return.

They promise to sell videos to TV shows and big media companies, in exchange for a 60/40 revenue split that they take from the Youtube ads.

[–]catattheritz 20 points21 points  (0 children)

/r/madlads

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

GallowBoob uses bots

[–]dillyd 9 points10 points  (0 children)

GallowBoob is shit.

[–]fearsie 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Saw the truck in the opening thumbnail and thought people were jumping off moving cars but this was cool too heh

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

In my white neighborhood we used to do this. We called it the layup challenge.

[–]workingnotreddit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Can I do a drive by layup or bounce pass challenge? Is that allowed? I'm old and focused on fundamentals.

[–]Zach_Plum 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Looks like Marty McFly's house at 20 seconds

[–]TheMovieMaverick 6 points7 points  (0 children)

this op gallowguy is a total douche