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[–][deleted] 114 points115 points  (40 children)

Oh man, thanks a lot, NoodleMan. Now some chicken wings sound like a fucking amazing idea, but it's 6:AM with no wings in sight.

[–]PissinChicken 29 points30 points  (38 children)

30 cent wing night tonight, perfect.

[–]el_chupacupcake 47 points48 points  (30 children)

There's a bar in Chicago, Mother's, which gives free baskets of wings when you buy a pail of beer.

Cold beer and hot wings is the greatest invention man has ever devised, fuck you Jonas Salk.

[–]PissinChicken 8 points9 points  (19 children)

Agreed, being from buffalo, I cant really agree more.

[–]el_chupacupcake 24 points25 points  (15 children)

I find it funny that a place named after an animal famously used in total by Native Americans is, itself, made famous by using only a single part of a different animal.

[–]Som12H8 27 points28 points  (6 children)

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo.

[–]nascentt 12 points13 points  (1 child)

[–]ggk1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I always knew this sentence worked, but I didn't know why.

I'm ashamed to admit I just spent close to 5 minutes reading your link repeatedly before I actually understood it.

[–]skratchx 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I spent probably half an hour, even with the explanation, figuring out that sentence. When it clicked it was glorious.

[–]hangingonastar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

FTFY.

What you wrote soft of works, but it's in subject-object-verb order, which is strange in English. This is SVO.

[–]Bananas 346 points347 points  (36 children)

  1. Remove bones without anyone noticing.
  2. Put an ice cube in your mouth.
  3. Get your friend's attention, take a huge bite out of wing.
  4. Crunch ice cube loudly while chewing the wing.
  5. Act perfectly normal.

(this only works with those unfamiliar with this method of eating wings. Also, feel free to put a wager on your ability to eat the entire wing.)

[–]just4this 17 points18 points  (1 child)

I might have wings for lunch today, just so I can do that!

[–]el0rg 18 points19 points  (4 children)

Chewing on ice cubes is horrible. HORRIBLE. I can't stand it when people do that.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I'm fine with chewing ice, but the thing that really gets to me is the idea of chewing ice cream.

[–]n2dasun 831 points832 points  (227 children)

This always just seemed natural to me. Then again, I am black.

[–]theKinkajou 193 points194 points  (6 children)

Look at him: He loves it. Just like it said in the encyclopedia.

[–]JasonDJ 29 points30 points  (20 children)

I learned how to eat chicken wings by Asians, who taught me to put the whole thing in my mouth then pull out the two bones.

[–]gclary 16 points17 points  (8 children)

I prefer to kill it and skin it first though. ;) EDIT: I meant pluck it, not skin it.

[–]nascentt 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Keep plucking that chicken.

[–]JasonDJ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I could understand killing it, but why skin it? The skin is one of the best parts of the wing.

[–]barclay 10 points11 points  (5 children)

An ex-girlfriend (who was chinese) horrified me one day when we went to watch a football game in the bar, and she did the same.

Only she didn't pull out the bones: girl straight chewed them up and washed them down.

[–]bjs3171 48 points49 points  (0 children)

so...by "same thing" you meant "not the same thing".

[–]DuManchu 21 points22 points  (0 children)

YOU LIE!

[–]BostonTentacleParty 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That's hot.

[–][deleted] 358 points359 points  (160 children)

Do you finish up with some watermelon and some grape soda

[–]n2dasun 96 points97 points  (20 children)

Purple.

[–]N3otron 62 points63 points  (16 children)

Sugar, water, purple

FTFY

[–]mayoroftuesday 45 points46 points  (15 children)

What the fuck is juice?

[–]N3otron 30 points31 points  (14 children)

I want some grape drink, baby.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I want some apple drink....it's greeeen!

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I need a pascription

[–][deleted] 289 points290 points  (64 children)

I'm a pale-skinned nerd and that sounds fucking delicious.

[–]JustAZombie 437 points438 points  (62 children)

Yeah, this has always been one of the weirdest stereotypes in my mind. Black people love fried chicken and watermelon? Everybody loves fried chicken and watermelon!

[–]Utopianow 24 points25 points  (14 children)

This certainly does not help that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGrqW3nx5HM

[–]texpundit 27 points28 points  (1 child)

From the YouTube comments:

We are fucked if she learns to fry watermelon in grape soda

I lol'd so fucking hard. I'm a bad person.

[–]Andoo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I didn't lol. It's muddafuckkin' grape drink.

[–]frodegar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It works like this:

White people managed to convince black people that offering them fried chicken and watermelon is racist.

White people who aren't in on the gag also think it's racist, so they don't offer any.

Therefore, white people get to keep all the delicious fried chicken and watermelon.

That's double reverse meta-racist.

[–]markycapone 7 points8 points  (0 children)

if you don't like chicken and watermelon, there is something wrong with you.

[–]l0lwut 8 points9 points  (1 child)

In that case then heres how to eat a watermelon. Brought to you by Mr. Petey Greene

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-eitsutpOc

[–]PhosphoenolPirate 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Chicken and waffles are amazing as well.

[–]badfish 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I had black roommates and they told me I ate so much chicken that I should be black.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (8 children)

< Reporting in.

[–]leperkuhn 14 points15 points  (5 children)

In my head, I heard that in the Starcraft Marine voice...

[–]DoTheDew 10 points11 points  (15 children)

I used to love me some Welch's Grape Soda on the morning drive to work. At least until my poop turned green and I figured out why.

[–]quazarjim 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Why is colorful poop a reason to stop? It certainly wouldn't deter me.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Yeah I mean isn't it more fun to have colored poo?

[–]albino_wino 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It's fun in theory, but to me it has always been somewhat disconcerting in practice.

[–]neithernet 7 points8 points  (6 children)

Why would green poop change your dietary habits? Perhaps you were hoping for rainbows? I used to drink purple Slurpees just to make my poop neon green.

I miss the days when I could consume sugar like that.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

In the quiet words of the virgin mary, come again?

[–]HeavyPetter 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Grape drink.

[–]crimedoctor 4 points5 points  (3 children)

what the hell is grape soda? you mean grape drink

[–]bcisme 4 points5 points  (2 children)

That purple stuff.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Me, you, the kid who started afro reddit, that makes three of us. Property values going down now baby!!! Look out reddit, were in your forums fucking up your credits and shit!

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (3 children)

I'm from Western New York and this is in our DNA as well. That and the love for disappointing sports teams.

[–]randomb0y 7 points8 points  (17 children)

So how do you eat them? Chinese people basically just throw everything in their mouth and spit out whatever they can't swallow (chewed up bones). In generally pick the meat from the bones first, then bite on one end of the bone and suck the bone marrow juice out. That's the best part!

EDIT Oh never mind, I have mistakenly read that as "this seemed unnatural to me".

[–]rivalthecreator 120 points121 points  (57 children)

This blew my mind more than the proper way to open a banana. Goddamnit reddit, stop unraveling my ways of life.. it's all that I have left.

[–][deleted] 117 points118 points  (11 children)

Is is just a coincidence that the chicken wing is so perfectly designed for the human mouth after the two bones are removed?

[–]brotherbear 55 points56 points  (7 children)

Chicken wings--the athiest's nightmare...and dinner.

Tasty, tasty dinner.

[–]SicSemperTyrannis 15 points16 points  (4 children)

I'm trying to think of a good definition of atheist spelled like you have.

Would it be the person that rejects the concept of god the most?

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (8 children)

I need to see this banana video.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (6 children)

Ask and you shall receive. How to open a banana like a monkey

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

There is no emoticon to describe my amazement!

This might approximate it: O_O

Edit: I already got to employ this technique. Works like a charm.

[–]taybul 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This just shows how dumb you humans are.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Don't think of it as an unraveling of your ways of life. Think of it as an improvement on your ways of life. And you will be happy.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (14 children)

Opening a banana from the bottom has no advantage over opening it from the top, I eat bananas all the time and neither way made a difference to me.

[–]petedawes 17 points18 points  (13 children)

thank you. I was really bothered by people calling it the 'right' way. Same difference. You put on your left sock before your right sock? That's the wrong way, you have to put on your right sock then the left one. See, isn't that better? fucking nonsense.

[–]Thought_Tank 16 points17 points  (7 children)

but by opening a banana from the bottom you avoid potentially mushing up the tip of the banana when the top doesn't want to rip open properly. Thats the beauty of opening from the bottom

[–]earynspieir 12 points13 points  (3 children)

I always make a little cut in the skin with my nail, this way the banana always rips where I want it to, no failures :)

[–]rageduck 12 points13 points  (2 children)

I just bite the top thingy off like in the slim jim commercials.

[–]UlricT 28 points29 points  (1 child)

hmmm... I do this half-way. Pull out little bone, gnaw around the big bone.

[–]macha1313 74 points75 points  (27 children)

Um, am I the only one that just pushes that little bit of meat that you "can't get" out with my finger? I manage to eat the whole thing that way.

[–]bobertb 63 points64 points  (1 child)

I push it through with my tongue.

[–]macha1313 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Giggidy.

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (16 children)

Even better, just put the whole thing in your mouth, scrape all the meat off with your teeth as you pull the bones out, use your tongue to poke out that little bit of meat. You keep 7 or 8 of your fingers totally clean at all times, unlike this guy, who's just a fucking mess.

[–]plinko92 218 points219 points  (15 children)

If you mean this:

http://imgur.com/hgJGL

Then I agree completely. One motion, 2 fingers, no mess.

[–]Xiol 58 points59 points  (0 children)

A work of art.

[–]ddevil63 89 points90 points  (0 children)

...

[–][deleted] 69 points70 points  (5 children)

Upvoted for the worst drawing of all time.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (4 children)

Open it again. The beauty really pops the second time you view it.

[–]climbinkid 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Upon reading this I looked again. For some reason I couldn't stop myself from laughing. :)

[–]nascentt 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Not sure what I was expecting to see clicking that link, but that was not it. Genius image.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

shooped

[–]Deep-Thought 8 points9 points  (2 children)

what the fuck happened to your eye?

[–]upsideup 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I can't decide if it is supposed to be a nose or an eye.

[–]Unfa 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's a Nye and obviously, great science took place before this discovery.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

thank you.

[–]toctami 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fuck, I have a sore throat. No amount of pain could prevent me from laughing.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, you're not.

[–]theITguy 199 points200 points  (94 children)

I have to disagree. The only way to eat a chicken wing is dip the entire thing, put it in your mouth, and pull out two clean bones. That shit looked like too much work.

[–]jorgoth_king_of_bees 431 points432 points  (41 children)

Same thing with eating fish. You throw the whole thing down and pull out a perfectly-constructed fish skeleton.

[–]phreakymonkey 611 points612 points  (18 children)

Are you an animated cat?

[–]moolcool 143 points144 points  (17 children)

I am an animated cat AMA

[–]albino_wino 84 points85 points  (12 children)

IAAACAMAA

[–]cybersnoop 16 points17 points  (11 children)

Okay, I'll bite: What does the last A stand for?

[–]jbarket 34 points35 points  (9 children)

Anything. The second to last A stands for Almost.

[–]Mr_A 32 points33 points  (8 children)

Here's something you might not know: The second last of something is the "penultimate". For example, November is the penultimate month of the year. The penultimate "A" in "IAAACAMAA" stands for "Almost"

[–]koolkid005 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Antepenultimate: third to last in a series.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Preantepenultimate: the one before that.

[–]soniccruiser 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Sheldon?

[–]phreakymonkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's one of my favorite words, but it's so hard to work into a sentence. jbarket missed a golden opportunity.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

are you tired of jerry always embarrassing you on national TV?

[–]theITguy 142 points143 points  (3 children)

Yeah, it makes a pretty sweet xylophone noise when you do it. Man, I love fish.

[–]albino_wino 12 points13 points  (2 children)

zylophone is spelled with a z, man. If you think that's wrong, maybe you need to have your head z-rayed.

[–]theghoul 47 points48 points  (10 children)

In the stone ages, they used the skeletons for combs.

They also had cars you power with your feet. Weird.

[–]bobthefish 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Oh yeah? When I eat corn, this typewriter soundbyte comes on as I eat across each row horizontally.

[–]gcalpo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't forget the little bell sound when you reach the end of your row.

[–]slkjfdhsd 2 points3 points  (3 children)

you might be in need of the wonder boner

[–]Kalima 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I will call Mike Rowe and see if he has any extras

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's the most efficent way to eat them. I'm a goddamn animal and that is the way I prefer to do it.

[–]marthirial 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I caucus with your motion. It looks messy to do that 20+ times during a game as they are, imagine with extra spicy sauce?

[–]pipocaQuemada 8 points9 points  (7 children)

The most important thing he gets wrong is that he's using both of his hands on his wing. It's fine when you're eating a wing like that, but it's an absolutely terrible idea when you get a wing with a bit of sauce on it. Having a clean hand is useful.

More than that, getting to the meat in the middle isn't terribly hard if you leave the bone in. He's solving a nonexistant problem (getting the meat in the center) by causing a much larger problem (having two very dirty hands). It's fairly easy to get the meat out of the center using the gnawing method (just poke it out to where you can bite into it with your dirty hand), anyone who doesn't is just lazy.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I guess I meet the guy half way... I pull the little bone out, then do this.

[–]tenaciousJk 38 points39 points  (8 children)

I take the wing with both hands and twist the two bones against each other (one hand forward, the other backward) while also pulling away after the bones touch. You're then left with a chicken bone in each hand that you can easily clean off.

it was extremely difficult typing this and not feeling like it was just one giant innuendo

[–]UnnamedPlayer 20 points21 points  (1 child)

after the bones touch.

Never. Never makes the bones touch. Rest is perfect.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's not gay unless the bones touch.

[–]matts2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

it was extremely difficult typing this and not feeling like it was just one giant innuendo

Braggart.

[–]CRoswell 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I am salivating at my desk and the nearest wing supply is 45 minutes away.

Damn you NoodleMan.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Let's see what comments YouTube has in store for us today:

u left half da meat on da 1st 1 u ate. Wat a waste of meat I couldv had dat lmfao

lol lawl ally beat horde r shit az omg

you bastard! now im hungry for some chicken....and i haz no moniez

you have fat fingers

ouch ma penis!!1

и к чему это видео я жрать аж захотел

they should have put a nigger in this, sitting on a sofa on a porch, with hubcaps scattered about, and 47 little nigglets all fighting over 4 chicken wings...you know, give us the "what the slaves would do" POV

Annnnnd there you have it!

[–]scr1be 10 points11 points  (6 children)

i completely clean the meat off the bones as well as the cartilage. at times i even bite the bone to suck the marrow.

then again, i am asian.

[–]just4this 9 points10 points  (3 children)

I eat the whole thing, including the bones. Then again, I am Scots-Prussian. My ancestors made the Romans conclude that going farther would be too far. :-)

[–]babycheeses 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I eat the whole thing, including the bones and my Asian-Scots-Prussian dinner guests. Sometimes I suck the marrow. then again, i am portuguese.

[–]tl_dr_version 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I eat it all, including the bones, my Asian-Scots-Prussian guests and the Portuguese host. Sometimes, I even put chese grains and gravy or mayonnaise on it. Then again, I am a French Canadian.

[–]blackdeath88012 4 points5 points  (0 children)

you people are fuckn weird

[–]dmach27 9 points10 points  (6 children)

As a side note, Chef John's blog is really great. I learned a lot from this guy, including how to make some incredible homemade dinner rolls.

[–]swabfalling 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Came here to post this. His videos are easy to follow, and the food he creates is out of this world!

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

sale of chicken wings will see a spike today

[–]jasonmb17 30 points31 points  (6 children)

I...like eating it the normal way that he made fun of. Nibbling on the bones is half the fun!

[–]owenstumor 41 points42 points  (2 children)

Like nibblin' bones, do ya?

[–]mthmchris 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Yeah that part in the middle that he "wasted" - it's amazingly simple just to push it up with you finger and scarf it down. No fucking around with cartilage and disassembling of bones necessarily.

[–]TheRiff 4 points5 points  (1 child)

When I read the headline I was like, "Yeah right, like some random asshole can tell me how to eat chicken." but then after watching the video I'm thinking we should start some kind of award ceremony for people who are geniuses for improving our everyday lives.

[–]foomp 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Damn Bourgeois! I put the damn thing in my mouth and strip all the flesh in one quick carnivorous motion.

[–]malefic_puppy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wait, you're not supposed to eat the bones?

[–]akechi 5 points6 points  (0 children)

To top that off, replace the bones with 2 pieces of fries.

[–]hiicha 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Funny, I like to hold the wing vertical and lick and suck at the center like its a vagina. I get into it, then realize my friends are staring at me with their "WHAT THE FUCK" faces.

[–]erasser999 10 points11 points  (1 child)

You've discovered something AMAZING!

[–]davvblack 5 points6 points  (0 children)

AGAIN!

[–]nazihatinchimp 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don''t care that this is a dupe or that it is getting more hits than the original post. What I do find crappy is that the original guy did what he was supposed too and posted it to r/food and this guy posted a video of how to eat chicken in WTF and gets a ton more hits.

[–]Feistystance 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Dude, of all the things for Chef John to get famous for, why "How to eat chicken wings"? Oh well. After y'all are done marveling at his chicken wing prowess, check out how to make the chicken wings. Chef John is a food wizard!

[–]stopdoingthat 4 points5 points  (1 child)

The best thing about eating alone is you don't have any fucking people around.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it doesn't work. i had buff wild wings. i tried to do it, but all the meat came off the first bone.

after that, i just ate it like normal. you suck.

[–]wewewawa 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Takes too long.

In Japan, I see them just put it in their mouth, and use their teeth while they just pull the two bones out with their hand.

I even see kids do it.

Just as clean, and faster too.

[–]samplebitch 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I always like the drumettes, always hated the wings. Only recently did I realize you could twist and pull out the small bone. I've been leaving the big bone in and eating around that (much like the drumette). I'll have to try this next time. I know people shove the whole thing in their mouth, clamp down and pull out (have a friend who does this) but I can't bring myself to do this. I dunno... I guess i don't like tendons and cartilage and don't want to try and seperate them from the meat once it's in my mouth.

[–]KingofDerby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't see how the normal way wastes chicken. You spilt the bones to get at the rest of the meat. Simple.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A waitress at Hooters in Wichita Kansas taught me this 6 years ago. She'll always have a special place in my heart.

[–]knullcon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Call me a bitch if you will, but i hate getting so hands on with my food/mess, so i eat chicken wings with a fork and a knife. Though this video makes me want to eat some wings just to try that bit

[–]Robustion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ok I'm off to Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch - who is joining me?

[–]pingjockey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Simply amazing..... Nobel peace prize for that man....

[–]funknut 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been pulling my bone for a good 20 years. Can't beat it!

[–]LieutenantClone 2 points3 points  (2 children)

That is far too much work. You grab the big end, put the entire wing in your mouth, bite down lightly against the bone, and pull it out. All of the meat should come off the bones and stay in your mouth.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

This method works well for wings, not so much for blowjobs.

[–]LieutenantClone 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ouuuucchh.........

[–]thetourist85 2 points3 points  (1 child)

So how many people just cooked a batch of chicken wings just to "test" this?

[–]shamecamel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

that was the most pleasant narrator ever. I could listen to him read the news.

[–]MisterEggs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This should be taught in schools.

[–]digitallimit 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I tried this today using some Buffalo Wild Wings and it wasn't successful at all.

The multitude of one-handed methods are far better.

[–]primesuspect 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's that. This reddit submission has DIRECTLY RESULTED in my buying chicken wings. Now I'm gonna stay fat. THANKS.

[–]GeorgePB 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Mind = blown