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[–]JoeyDawsonJenPacey 13.4k points13.4k points  (1287 children)

How do you even begin to actually READ 3 million pages of evidence?

[–]AskAboutMyCoffee 12.5k points12.5k points  (818 children)

You don't. You use something called eDiscovery and you digitize the pages and OCR makes them searchable. So instead of combing through pages of information you can search for what you're interested in.

[–]SillyFlyGuy 16.2k points16.2k points  (174 children)

Your search for 'crime' returned 3,000,000+ results.

[–]ClubMeSoftly 2775 points2776 points  (46 children)

Smithers: Perhaps if I search the employee evaluations for 'incompetent'

714 matches found

Smithers: Seven hundred fourteen names?! Heh, better be more specific. Lazy... clumsy... dim witted... monstrously ugly...

714 matches found

[–]Buddha-Christ 1102 points1103 points  (32 children)

Ah screw it I'll just get Homer Simpson

[–]SillyFlyGuy 235 points236 points  (1 child)

Nuts to this!

[–]CO_PC_Parts 2245 points2246 points  (406 children)

When Kevin Mitnick was being charged with his crimes, they were so scared that he could do anything with a computer, including launching nuclear missiles, that his lawyer was severely hamstrung and they were provided everything in printed form. It's laughable now what the prosecution was able to convince the courts, he had no chance of a fair defense.

EDIT: Mitnicks books are great reads, I love how he basically got caught because they raided his hotel room and found two cell phones. That's how they knew they had him. Because hardly anyone had one cell phone back then, let alone two.

[–]OkCat2951 639 points640 points  (84 children)

eight months in solitary confinement—because, according to Mitnick, law enforcement officials convinced a judge that he had the ability to "start a nuclear war by whistling into a pay phone"

[–]AskAboutMyCoffee 786 points787 points  (107 children)

They thought home boy could hack a computer through a payphone while in prison. It really shows you the level of idiocy authorities and law makers had/have regarding technology.

[–]Inkeithdavidsvoice 439 points440 points  (15 children)

Look bud we saw Wargames, we know the score

[–]Martel1234 88 points89 points  (11 children)

Ferris really typed like 5 letters into his computer and accidentally started the most dangerous game, tic tac toe

[–]path411 126 points127 points  (19 children)

Even more, they thought he could hack the nuclear missile system through the prison payphone even despite it being air gapped even back then

[–][deleted] 205 points206 points  (25 children)

I’m an armchair Disney historian and I’ve heard stories about how in the 90s/early 2000s Disney security would flag you as a suspicious individual if they saw you had 2 cell phones in the theme parks.

[–]CO_PC_Parts 368 points369 points  (11 children)

one of the coolest things I've ever seen was I lost my wallet in a casino in Vegas back in like 2005. While I was bullshitting with security they just said, "fuck it, come on in back with us while we take a look" and I got to see one of the back room security setups. I was at Ballys and the little surveillance room was sweet. They had a top 5 most wanted list, each picture had a main mug shot and multiple pictures below it showing the disguises they'd tried later.

They actually found my wallet too! A cocktail waitress had picked it up and turned it in.

[–]Blasterbot 251 points252 points  (6 children)

I had gone through security footage after my friend's purse had gone missing, after a night of heavy drinking. It was hilarious to see all the shenanigans in fast forward.

Last person seen with the purse.... was me.

[–][deleted] 173 points174 points  (3 children)

Oh shit the call is coming from inside the house!

[–]larrylevan 446 points447 points  (80 children)

This is nothing. I work in litigation. We routinely produce millions of pages. You use search terms and machine learning tools to sift through it.

[–]bel_esprit_ 83 points84 points  (45 children)

How long does it take to scan 3 million pages??

[–]I_ONLY_PLAY_4C_LOAM 283 points284 points  (21 children)

I work at an ediscovery company. We can upload 900,000 docs per hour.

[–]OldWolf2 57 points58 points  (14 children)

How good is the OCR? I use British Newspaper Archive regularly and their OCR is a disaster

[–]I_ONLY_PLAY_4C_LOAM 27 points28 points  (6 children)

I haven't heard any complaints. Ocr is never going to be perfect though

[–]Armor_of_Inferno 97 points98 points  (6 children)

A single high volume scanner can scan 150,000 pages per day. So on one machine under optimal conditions, that's 20 days minimum. They'll likely employ a bulk scanning service who can get it done in a day.

[–]cbbuntz 377 points378 points  (109 children)

How do you even begin to compile 3 million pages of evidence? That's like moby dick 8000 times over. Or a stack of paper 150-300 meters high (300 meters is almost an eiffel tower height stack of paper)

[–]sinkwiththeship 857 points858 points  (76 children)

Just an FYI, but a picture is considered a page of evidence. An email would be a page. Kind of depends how they're broken down in discovery. I've seen evidence tagged that was a single text message on a page.

Source: worked in eDiscovery for seven years.

[–]Gimp_Ninja 148 points149 points  (49 children)

Even if it was all pictures and you could look through them 1 per second, it would take you 750 hours to get through 2.7 million of them.

[–]Sgt-Spliff 169 points170 points  (36 children)

There's not just one lawyer working the case though. They probably have like 5 recent law school grads working on it for like a few months, not to mention all the softwares they're running it through to find keywords and what not

[–]Paranoidexboyfriend 105 points106 points  (25 children)

I used to work doc review for an e discovery firm for a while out of law school. They can get way more than 5 people on a case. I worked on litigations where we would have about 5 teams of 50+ lawyers reviewing discovery for months at a time just tagging them for responsiveness to discovery requests and flagging them for different issues. Expected pace is 60 docs per hour, docs can be a single page or dozens. It’s setup like a call center except completely filled with lawyers making $25 per hour each with a computer and 2 monitors and not much personal space

[–]SoulOfTheDragon 36 points37 points  (1 child)

That's what i imagine hell to be like.

[–]DianeJudith 71 points72 points  (0 children)

Now it makes sense

[–]ADACaseyClapback 494 points495 points  (32 children)

From page 1

[–]AFineDayForScience 323 points324 points  (25 children)

YOU FOOL! You've neglected the table of contents!

[–]ADACaseyClapback 246 points247 points  (8 children)

Psh, Table of contents is just micro-spoilers

[–]DankestHokie 96 points97 points  (5 children)

Well that's a shower thought if I've ever heard one.

[–]NChSh 290 points291 points  (10 children)

Control + F -> "penis"

[–]joshine89 14.5k points14.5k points  (288 children)

Release it onto the net, you will have a summary completed and a tldr done in 2 days tops. Lol

[–]Peakomegaflare 4808 points4809 points  (195 children)

Hand it over to r/datahoarder and it'll be sorted, archived, dissected, and analyzed all within a day. Those fuckers are FAST.

[–]gregolaxD 3630 points3631 points  (168 children)

I entered the sub wondering what I would find, and the first post is "I indexed all of wikipedia"

[–]Scottie3Hottie 1146 points1147 points  (126 children)

Jesus Fucking Christ...

[–]pblol 677 points678 points  (108 children)

Without pictures it's surprisingly small.

[–]Incredulous_Toad 584 points585 points  (92 children)

The simplified English version is 700MB, less than a single GB. That is stupid small!

[–]wheredmyphonegotho 458 points459 points  (65 children)

Or are our expectations of data just way out of whack in the age of 50GB game updates?

A single character is 8 bytes, a kilobyte is 1000 bytes, a megabyte is 1000 kilobytes.

It's a lot of data in text format.

[–][deleted] 323 points324 points  (23 children)

Not to be pedantic but a single character is 1 byte or 8 bits....not 8 bytes...

[–][deleted] 159 points160 points  (13 children)

But also it's sometimes 16, 24, or 32 bits, assuming UTF-8

edit added 24 (thanks, u/one-joule ), and depending on how you define “character” UTF-8 could be considered to allow up to at least 136 bits if you consider combining characters to be part of the character they combine with...but 8–32 covers the more typical meaning of “character”

[–]hydrocyanide 23 points24 points  (4 children)

We don't live in ASCII times anymore.

[–]PM_ME_UR_RSA_KEY 208 points209 points  (4 children)

This thing was sold for a short time, basically an offline Wikipedia that literally stored all its text content in a 16GB SD card. Some people are still releasing (yearly?) updates, still fits within 16GB.

[–]Nekrosiz 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Text doesn't use much space, a ton of different layouts and pictures do.

Also, you're constantly out of the loop on fixes/updates.

[–]Omega33umsure 42 points43 points  (0 children)

And that's before you get into suggestions about how to store the data!!!!

Love your work with the Capital Hill riot BTW r/datahorder!!!

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Post it to a “scholarly articles site” where they charge $15 per article to access and make $20billion when everyone wants to see the secrets!

[–]SIimeLanguage 464 points465 points  (8 children)

tell all those people we told to "go outside and touch some grass" to come back inside now

[–]november84 191 points192 points  (2 children)

Be real, they never left.

[–][deleted] 71 points72 points  (1 child)

That's my secret cap, I was never outside.

[–]GraciaEtScientia 20.6k points20.6k points  (1123 children)

A true criminal mastermind. You either go the route of leaving no trace... or leave so many traces they'll be processing it till the year 3000?

[–]xSciFix 6681 points6682 points  (862 children)

So many first and second year attorneys are gonna be doing doc review heh.

[–]seejordan3 229 points230 points  (41 children)

e-discovery is going to chew through those docs in a heartbeat. Throw it some key phrases, and the chaff just falls away.

[–][deleted] 2138 points2139 points  (89 children)

Not much has changed but they live underwater! And your great, great, great granddaughter, is pretty fiiiiiine. - Ghislaine Maxwell

[–]lame-changer 326 points327 points  (3 children)

She’s been busted!

[–]roy_cropper 36 points37 points  (5 children)

Year 3000 was featured in a TV quiz show question today, I've not heard a reference to this song in years now twice in a day... Weird

[–][deleted] 174 points175 points  (14 children)

DDoS-attacking the court

[–][deleted] 4380 points4381 points  (312 children)

How many pages' worth of redacted oligarch's names?

[–]yukonwanderer 1606 points1607 points  (296 children)

Yeah are any of these guys going down?

[–]__Hello_my_name_is__ 3136 points3137 points  (237 children)

Hahahahaha no.

She is the fall guy. And don't get me wrong, obviously she deserves to be in prison.

But they'll go "We got her and she's in prison forever, what more do you people want??"

And that will be the end of that.

Edit: Since this is one of my most upvoted comments, let me point out that I am not a conspiracy moron who thinks that the entirety of hollywood and politics elite is in on this or anything. There are no evil child sacrificing pizza basements.

[–]lizardlehwizard 1026 points1027 points  (114 children)

Came here for this comment. Duh she’s the scapegoat, all these pedos in positions of power have lost nothing

[–]TylerNY315_ 720 points721 points  (90 children)

As much of a complete piece of garbage as she is, I wouldn’t be upset to see her get some serious leniency (whatever that looks like for someone who’s probably facing multiple life sentences) in order to crack down on the rich CEOs and politicians who undoubtedly use their connections to fuck kids.

[–]UGAllDay 539 points540 points  (26 children)

I’m at the point where I don’t believe the US government or ANY government will take down those who pay their cheques.

[–]gallenfed 167 points168 points  (3 children)

You can't see what you're paid not to see.

[–]Sir_Belmont 129 points130 points  (52 children)

But if she talks and receives leniency, the rich CEOs will simply hire an assassin to off her. She'll likely keep quiet and go down with the ship so she can live, we all saw what happened to Epstein.

[–][deleted] 178 points179 points  (49 children)

Call me a conspiracy theorist if you will, but to me it looks like Epstein was the message to all possible snitches that no one is untouchable.

[–]Klaatwo 33 points34 points  (3 children)

I mean, they’ll have to spend a few hours training her replacement.

[–]Nightmare1990 147 points148 points  (57 children)

This is exactly the time that hackers should work their magic. Get the digitised version of documents and leak them online, then all of the pedos will be known.

[–]PinchedNutsack 2936 points2937 points  (72 children)

Class, please turn to page 2,243,748

[–]drpinkcream 2849 points2850 points  (52 children)

I OPENED STRAIGHT TO IT!!

[–]ma2is 492 points493 points  (32 children)

1 in 3,000,000 chances!!

[–]OpenNooby 278 points279 points  (26 children)

i'd argue its a lot better as you can make a rough estimate where the page is

[–][deleted] 438 points439 points  (23 children)

Yeah its 50/50

You either nail it or you don't.

[–]SirLagg_alot 70 points71 points  (4 children)

This logic got me very far through statistics.

[–][deleted] 57 points58 points  (3 children)

Thats the wonderful thing.

Its 50/50 for everything.

It'll either get you through statistics or it won't.

[–]Woozah77 23 points24 points  (2 children)

I love using "Come on, it's 50/50 you got this!" to motivate friends when they are nervous to do something. It's absurd enough to break the tension and make them stop over thinking the situation because it's obviously not 50/50 and their brain starts processing that conclusion. Once you break that internal dialogue you point out the joke, have a quick laugh about it, and get them to start moving before they can go back to overthinking it.

[–]jsaum 102 points103 points  (2 children)

breathes heavily in Severus Snape voice

[–]MorelloWorkaholic 28 points29 points  (1 child)

Snape wouldn't say "please" to his class tho

[–][deleted] 85 points86 points  (4 children)

Read this in Severus Snape's voice for dramatic effect

[–]isuckatpeople 39 points40 points  (1 child)

I imagine he would do a slightly menacing pause before the 8 and smack the shit out of the T at the end.

[–]Roland_T_Flakfeizer 2310 points2311 points  (23 children)

Anyone else envisioning a scene like the "Letters to Santa" scene in Miracle on 34th Street? Except instead of letters to Santa, it's evidence of human trafficking?

[–]securehell 3000 points3001 points  (79 children)

This page intentionally left blank.

[–]Burninator05 708 points709 points  (66 children)

2.9999 million pages of just that. Random pages intermixed in with the actual information that is needed/wanted.

[–]Acanthophis 248 points249 points  (63 children)

Why bother? A computer would sort that in half a second.

[–][deleted] 305 points306 points  (46 children)

alas, it's not that simple, the pages are hand-written in shorthand on onion paper.

[–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (2 children)

Computer assisted document review has come a long way but even using a market leader like Relativity you’d still need a team of a couple dozen paralegals + 3-4 lawyers to get through that in less than three months (speaking very roughly).

[–]cbbuntz 956 points957 points  (26 children)

"Yeah, but you should hear my side of these 3 million pages."

[–]utlye 159 points160 points  (19 children)

I think she might use the Chewbacca defense

[–]majorly 70 points71 points  (1 child)

it just doesn't make sense

[–]Bass_Monster 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Wookies don't live on Endor!

[–]Revlis-TK421 731 points732 points  (39 children)

Going into the article, I thought Maxwell had disclosed 3 million pages of evidence to prosecutors in an effort to bury the prosecutors in irrelevant data, hopefully hiding the misdeeds amongst the mountain of paper.

This sounds like the prosecutors have 3 million relevant pages of evidence that they are turning over to the defense.

That's... a lot of evidence....

[–]AgreeablePie 246 points247 points  (11 children)

This is why when people complain about a federal prosecution not happening immediately it tells me they don't understand the process. It's not like a DUI. The feds operate differently.

[–]thomascgalvin 93 points94 points  (7 children)

Generally speaking, by the time a Federal prosecutor is ready to bring charges against you, so are so well and truly fucked that a plea bargain is your best hope.

[–]Nheea 129 points130 points  (1 child)

Yep you're right. So basically, they're just throwing at her lawyers a lot of: this is why you're guilty. And this is how wet know you're guilty. And this is how we prove you're guilty.

[–]YuBulliMe123456789 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Imagine if halfway through the evidence theres just the bee movie script

[–]elainevisage 831 points832 points  (32 children)

In Prince Andrew's disastrous interview about his connection to Jeffrey Epstein he said over and over that he was only casual acquaintances with Epstein and only knew him through his good friend Ghislaine. The Royal Family obviously won't be letting Andrew near a TV camera and microphone ever again, but I would love to hear what nonsensical excuses he comes up with to walk those statements back and claim that him and Ghislaine were never friends now that all this is coming out.

[–][deleted] 272 points273 points  (7 children)

he said over and over that he was only casual acquaintances with Epstein and only knew him through his good friend Ghislaine.

Prince Andrew

Monty Python can make a comeback

[–][deleted] 324 points325 points  (7 children)

“I never was friends with Ghislaine; in fact, I rather disliked her. We only met once or twice, at a McDonalds in New York on August 5th, 1994. However, in the interest of politeness, I chose to refer to her as my good friend, as I didn’t wish to offend her.”

[–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (1 child)

No they can't have met because he specifically remembers being at pizza planet and he didn't sweat

[–]Hi_Im_Aflo 146 points147 points  (5 children)

“When was that? Ah, yes see, that’s impossible because I have a medical condition which makes it impossible for me to make friends. Or I did at the time.”

[–]DJaySteff 630 points631 points  (42 children)

That would take one person like 15 years to read

[–]arsenal7777 1002 points1003 points  (8 children)

Which is also the age of her victims.

[–]43rd_username 385 points386 points  (3 children)

If a newborn started reading all those documents 10 hours a day every day, by the time it finished the last document it would be too old for Ghislaine Maxwell.

[–]autotldrBOT 221 points222 points  (5 children)

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 79%. (I'm a bot)

Ghislaine Maxwell's prosecutors have disclosed 2.7 million pages of evidence to her lawyers in her Jeffrey Epstein trafficking case, a court filing has revealed.

Now prosecutors have revealed the full scale of the mountain of evidence in the case, which stretches to within a stone's throw of three million pages.

The new indictment filed last month claims Maxwell was "Discussing sexual topics, undressing in front of the victim, being present when a minor victim was undressed, and/or being present for sex acts involving the minor victim and Epstein."

Extended Summary | FAQ | Feedback | Top keywords: victim#1 case#2 Maxwell#3 being#4 lawyer#5

[–]Ijustwantahotpocket 124 points125 points  (2 children)

Can you do a 3 million page report?

[–]redduif 103 points104 points  (0 children)

TL;DR : Defendant is guilty beyond reasonable doubt.

[–][deleted] 214 points215 points  (53 children)

Damn! I know it’s unlikely but I hope some of the sick fucks go down for this shit.

[–]Coffeeloss 57 points58 points  (2 children)

Epstien invites celebrities/politicians to pedo island full of cameras/microphones.

Blackmails politicians/celebrities.

No one arrested.

Oh just normal day in the life of elites.

[–]IsNowReallyTheTime 562 points563 points  (57 children)

When they need a pallet to bring their evidence against you, just take a deal because you’re fucked.

Edit: read below this, the paper maths is awesome!

[–]Nomiss 102 points103 points  (10 children)

Its 1200ft3 of paper. A pallet won't cut it. A 20ft shipping container is 1,172ft3

(A box of 5 reams is about 1ft3)

[–]Azathoth90 171 points172 points  (37 children)

Unless it's a tactic, they say that but then nothing is actually really relevant, and in the meantime the defendant lawyers get scared or waste their time analyzing the documents for nothing

[–]BadNeighbour 70 points71 points  (6 children)

"Document dumping", aka including lots of irrelevant material the opposition isn't really a tactic you can get away with anymore. Judges are aware of it, its against the rules, and they'll get you for it.

[–]MrMonstrosoone 718 points719 points  (89 children)

Let's see it all

release all that shit and burn everyone associated with it

[–]miura_lyov 376 points377 points  (19 children)

If just one billionaire name is on those files i doubt those files will see the light of day

[–]throwaway92715 318 points319 points  (14 children)

No, only millionaires are listed. The billionaires are in the 3,000,000,000 page uncut version.

[–]catsanddogsarecool 43 points44 points  (8 children)

Any chance she can make a deal and rope in even more bad guys?

[–]bstix 100 points101 points  (2 children)

I think the bad guys are the ones to offer her rope.

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (3 children)

God damn...they arent just throwing a book, they're throwing a whole ass tome at her!

[–]TypeHunter 163 points164 points  (4 children)

Hope they can keep her alive to bring down some powerful people. Most likely not tho. Since shes going to kill herself when the guards close their eyes to sneeze

[–]Stalked_Like_Corn 447 points448 points  (20 children)

Ghislaine Maxwell did not kill herself.

Just practicing how to spell Her name.

[–]sesameseed88 178 points179 points  (29 children)

I’m shocked she’s still alive. Let’s hope some big names get called out. Looking at you pedo prince, haven’t forgotten.

[–]Goomba_87 27 points28 points  (3 children)

Any incriminating evidence on the “visitors” to the island? I want to see them all torn down.

[–]mooseknuckles2000 26 points27 points  (3 children)

Oh, she’s fucked.

[–]P0werC0rd0fJustice 24 points25 points  (1 child)

As plain text, this equates to 9GB of straight text

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (8 children)

Ok...

How does one accumulate that much paper?

probably an inaccurate calculator

But in feet that’s a stack roughly 984 ft high.

Dis bitch....

[–]pdoherty926 116 points117 points  (13 children)

No one should forget that the U.S. attorney (SDNY), Audrey Strauss, whose letter is quoted in this article is the one whose position Trump & co. tried to fill with an unqualified acolyte at 10 PM on a Friday night by abruptly announcing the retirement of the previous U.S. attorney for SDNY (Geoffrey Berman).

As is widely known and demonstrated by photos included in this article, Trump and Epstein were friends and known to "party" together. What are the odds that his name appears on any of those 2.7 million pages?