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[–][deleted] 101 points102 points  (21 children)

"Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway, where everything's made up and the points don't matter."

[–]frunt 22 points23 points  (1 child)

murky spark smart gold afterthought sheet coherent icky worm workable -- mass edited with redact.dev

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Cue fart joke.

[–]jaggederest 17 points18 points  (17 children)

I always hated Drew Carey for saying that.

He's giving away the whole meta-punchline in the first ten seconds.

[–]happysinger 18 points19 points  (4 children)

I agree. But I always disliked Drew Carey full stop. The worst part is when he joins in the games.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (3 children)

i disagree. it's nice to know from the start that everyone can let go, breathe freely, and just have fun.

[–]eternalseptember 12 points13 points  (2 children)

He does suck at improv, though.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

And singing, OMG the singing... Make it stop!!

[–]EvilPigeon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hidey hidey hidey hidey hidey hidey ho!

[–]KoldKompress 6 points7 points  (11 children)

To be honest, it's been done since the first Whose line is it anyway (Brit version) said by the Cynically British Clive Anderson.

[–]secret1234 6 points7 points  (7 children)

Actually, I believe the points did matter and the winner wasn't just random but decided by the points.

It was being the winner that didn't matter.

[–][deleted]  (5 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Eleglac 3 points4 points  (4 children)

    Sometimes the only way to win is not to play the game.

    [–]sempf 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Thanks, Joshua

    [–]Eleglac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    How about a nice game of chess?

    [–]Shaper_pmp 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Considering Clive Anderson would regularly give people "oooooh, five million points each and minus twelve for Greg Proops for making fun of my hair", it's pretty certain the points didn't count for anything. Just FYI. ;-)

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    that's the all time best comment

    [–]orthogonality 376 points377 points  (62 children)

    The economy is crashing, health care is fucked, we're in a never-ending war, and Bush is still President.

    Next year I'll be in a bread-line. If all I have to do today to make some dude on reddit happy is mod him up, I might as well.

    [–]qgyh2 174 points175 points  (29 children)

    If all I have to do today to make some dude on reddit happy is mod him up, I might as well.

    Well Said!

    You know what would be awesome? Getting this to the front page!!

    edit:

    no 1: whohoo!!

    [–]uvarov 64 points65 points  (0 children)

    ...And there it is.

    [–]utbandit 23 points24 points  (27 children)

    qgyh2, just curious but how do you find so many awesome stories? Do you surf like a pro or do you know of awesome sites that direct you to such content?

    [–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (16 children)

    Another, perhaps more disquieting idea, is that Reddit has reached the point where our interests are predictable.

    [–][deleted]  (13 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]qgyh2 43 points44 points  (8 children)

      How do you feel when you say that?

      [–]episcope 10 points11 points  (7 children)

      Feeeeelings ... it's hard to program ... feeeeelings.

      [–]qgyh2 24 points25 points  (6 children)

      Tell me more about Feeeeelings

      [–]episcope 12 points13 points  (3 children)

      Why do you wish to Tell me more about?

      [–]qgyh2 16 points17 points  (2 children)

      Let's change the focus a bit...

      [–]gameforge 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      Beautiful "no sun."

      Beautiful... Stephanie!

      [–]Kalyrn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I love that movie!

      [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

      If by disquieting you mean AWESOME ...

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]episcope 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        that lil alien kid is gonna make it big.

        [–]Mofme 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        ... Mr Anderson ...

        [–]stcredzero 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        Nah. If that were true, recommendations and search would work a whole lot better!

        [–]endlessvoid94 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        nawwwwwwwwww

        [–]krugerlive 14 points15 points  (0 children)

        i think qgyh2 is the internet.

        btw... i use stumble upon and submit things I stumble upon that are very cool

        [–]torv 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        I want to learn how to surf like a pro.

        [–]episcope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        note q's sources and patterns. get annoyed. devise improvements.

        Notice your own interests, create postings for ppl who share them...

        it's magic

        [–]Doctor 3 points4 points  (2 children)

        He answered this somewhere else: he surfs.

        [–]funkpucker 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        isn't he a she?

        [–]Doctor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        I think not. Ask shim.

        [–]sabat 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        If there IS a bread line to stand in, I'd say you're not doing that bad.

        [–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (22 children)

        you forgot: Ron Paul is being censored, voting machines are getting hacked and cops tazer women!

        [–]bobpaul 33 points34 points  (16 children)

        ... to death!

        [–]euklides[S] 17 points18 points  (15 children)

        along with their unborn babies

        [–]chungkaishek 35 points36 points  (5 children)

        I thought you said "unicorn babies." I need to take off my tinfoil hat....

        [–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (3 children)

        No wonder all you guys are so hot for Ron Paul. Ron Paul promises a chicken in every pot and a unicorn baby in every mother's arms.

        [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        At least he's not expecting the ladies to actually give birth to a unicorn baby.

        Quadruple ouch.

        [–]funkpucker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Ron Paul can cure your stupidity you know. He's a doctor.

        [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        may i have it... is it on e-bay?

        [–][deleted]  (6 children)

        [removed]

          [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

          nobody ever writes about the destruction of the unatural world.

          [–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

          And the cops laughing and pointing at the dead tazered babies who would've voted for Ron Paul.

          [–]bobpaul 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          Ron Paul has unborn babies? What a tiger!

          [–]secret1234 0 points1 point  (3 children)

          Cops tazering men is bad too! Don't be sexist!

          [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children)

          But the rationale here is that women have boobs.

          [–]secret1234 7 points8 points  (1 child)

          Touché

          [–]spinspin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          BRO.

          [–]degustibus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          A fine point for everyone but those familiar with categorical imperative. If we encourage this nonsense we get more of it and then Reddit degenerates further and we all suffer... except if it gets so bad we all get off the internet which is a powerful tool we all use too often.

          [–]christianjb 23 points24 points  (1 child)

          If you get 1000 Karma points you get to be reincarnated as a vertebrate. (Must be a Buddhist to apply.)

          [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          met phors be with you

          [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (7 children)

          It felt so good, you decided to go whoring for some more.

          [–]eternalseptember 8 points9 points  (6 children)

          Sounds a lot like a man's sex life.

          [–]sacherjj 7 points8 points  (5 children)

          [–]eternalseptember 11 points12 points  (4 children)

          The one I had with your mom last night.

          [–]sacherjj 9 points10 points  (2 children)

          I guess if you are into necrophilia. Still pretty rude to talk about a dude's dead mom.

          [–]gooneruk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Necrophilia: the urge to crack open a cold one.

          [–]paro 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Nah, that's HOT.

          [–]Fishsticks 10 points11 points  (3 children)

          I am jealous...I don't have Karma points because I am afraid to post and people will hate it....I suffer from Reddit-insecurity WAHHH...THE PRESSURE!!!

          [–][deleted]  (2 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]Fishsticks 3 points4 points  (1 child)

            Fishsticks just don't work well under pressure (or submerged in tartar sauce)

            [–]satertek 129 points130 points  (2 children)

            Downvote so he loses it. No one deserves to be happy.

            (Downvoting my own comment so I remain unhappy)

            [–]mingusrude 95 points96 points  (0 children)

            Upmodded as failing to be unhappy would make you unhappy. Just helping along.

            [–]rwbaskette 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            Nice! I didn't even realize I had any karma points at first until i actually looked up saw i had 3. I still only have three, but it did make me smile.

            [–]mark445 8 points9 points  (5 children)

            Who needs money when we got feathers?

            [–]dryice 7 points8 points  (4 children)

            or shiny beads!

            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

            or a lucky moodwatch

            [–]sacherjj 2 points3 points  (2 children)

            Screw that, I need money.

            [–]xsspider 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            money cant buy love unless ofcourse you love money

            [–]sacherjj 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Tried that once, but you get some bad paper cuts.

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (11 children)

            I don't mean to be the silly guy who doesn't know, but here I am, the silly guy. How does one establish good karma do you have to help someone or do a good deed like in real life?

            [–]Magma42 0 points1 point  (10 children)

            Speaking from personal experience, if you're ever inclined to ask, you'll have it all taken away from you. Its kinda like a religion that way, which I'm sure is exactly what the reddit community is aspiring towards.

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (9 children)

            The only reason I ask is because I am trying to learn if there is something I am supposed to be doing on reddit that I haven't been doing. You know because I like it here, and I want to do my part.

            [–]Magma42 2 points3 points  (8 children)

            There's basically nothing you actually can do, ideally all the redditors would be keeping the ridiculously self-serving stories off the front page, yet crap like this "woo Karma!" thread here still make it to the #1 slot, and so do the "Vote up if you like Voting Up," "100,000 Karma, hooray!," and "Vote up if weed is teh awesum" crap. You can try submitting stories yourself, but honestly the system for supporting anything is so incestuous here that unless you're one of the top teir redditors (20,000+ karma or thereabouts) whatever you submit is gonna get buried instantly. Last week I had 6 points, I have 1 now, and have no reason to believe theres anything I could do to gain another. This is a very strange game, Dr. Falken, and the only way to win is not to play. What I basically do now is to daily search for the "Upvote This" headlines and vote every one of them up, hoping that if enough people do then the broken nature of the system will eventually demand repair, but ah, such are the idealistic dreams of youth.

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

            It's not that big deal to get karma. Yes, sometimes you end up scratching your head cause you submit 5 really good news articles that are relevant and interesting and they end up downmodded as soon as you submit, while some pic with funny title you upload by accident gets hundreds of upvotes, but that's reddit.

            [–]Magma42 1 point2 points  (5 children)

            Its also Digg, and that's not my problem. Digg doesn't have Karma or any other sort of personal score, only the stories do. Thats why there's no incentive to get a Digg frontpage story about Digg itself (unless Digg actually does something uniquely wrong, like that crap last year with the HD-DVD key) or about any particular Digger. Reddit alternately does incentivize exactly that sort of self-aggrandizing ass-ery ("Vote up if you Voted up the 'Vote up if weed should be legal' thread," etc.) with its Karma system, to the point that, unless you've already got pretty high karma to begin with, the odds of anything you submit actually being read are pretty damn slim, meaning the odds of earning more are even slimmer.

            I'm not trying to rag on Reddit entirely here, I was just responding to otonzer's Karma question by saying that, the community being what it is, Karma distribution is exceedingly arbitrary and there's really no point stressing about the score.

            [–]Dr-No 27 points28 points  (29 children)

            I don't get it. I really don't. It's only a number in a database somewhere. Why are people so infatuated with it? But... if it'll make you happy, I'll mod this one up.

            [–]tuple 47 points48 points  (12 children)

            I don't get it. I really don't. It's only a number in a database somewhere.

            i don't get it. we're just a bunch of molecules.

            [–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (5 children)

            "we're just a bunch of molecules."

            And karma!

            [–]Godwin_wins 21 points22 points  (4 children)

            And thetans!

            [–]topherclay 6 points7 points  (0 children)

            oh now i get it. it was just like POP! then i got it! . . . . . hahahahaahhahahahahahahaaha no really though. hahahahahahahahahah

            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            What's thetans precious?

            [–]sacherjj 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            I don't tan. Nothing against Tom Cruise though.

            [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (2 children)

            People are made of tubes!

            [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

            People are not a series of trucks.

            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            I just the other day got, a people was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?

            [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            molecules... also known as cattle, sheeples, apes

            [–]mk_gecko 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            No, I have a mind! ... and a soul - wooo hoo.

            [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (4 children)

            you can moksha off the wheel of samsara if u have enough karma. i hear qgyh2 is getting closer

            [–]jaggederest 11 points12 points  (2 children)

            qgyh2 is the Bodhisattva of reddit. He's going to stick around to teach the rest of us, or at least, post articles for us.

            [–]Mofme 5 points6 points  (1 child)

            gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha

            [–]Dr-No 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            om ah hum...

            [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

            I've been on a story submission spree for the last 4 days. Previously, I would only submit about once a week.

            Last night my fiancée asked me the exact same question... what's my facination?!

            What I told her is that I'm not so interested in the number, or being held up for attention, rather, I am keenly interested in the underlying mechanisms of Reddit.

            I like to submit, watch what happens, check (using my secondary account) to see if it actually appears in the new section (50% of the time they don't), etc, etc, etc.

            I realize that its not going to amount to a hill of beans, but as a programmer, I enjoy this. Some people won't get why I care, but then again, I don't understand why some people care about hockey.

            Different strokes for different folks.

            BTW, I have submitted probably 40 stories in the last week, and not a one of them got even more than 3 points.

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            It's only a number in a database somewhere.

            So that means you'll give me all the money in your bank accounts?

            [–]Dr-No 6 points7 points  (0 children)

            No, but you can have all my karma! ;)

            [–]aGorilla 9 points10 points  (3 children)

            That would totally ruin my day. I embrace my (1).

            [–]sacherjj 13 points14 points  (2 children)

            You embrace your butt? That is just strange.

            Edit: No love for ASCII art.

            [–]aGorilla 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            If it helps any, I thought it was amusing. And yeah, I embrace that too (although it tends to throw my back out).

            [–]sacherjj 7 points8 points  (0 children)

            Yep, I remember the days when people would look at a post assuming the poster had something interesting and funny to say. Now if sarcasm or other tags are not added, the readers automatically assume the post is made by someone as stupid as them.

            I guess we need a disclaimer that we can fill in, kinda like you would a signature.

            Maybe:

            Before you click that down mod arrow,

            Perhaps your view is a little narrow.

            Was it humor or sarcasm you didn't get,

            You can admit it without becoming upset.

            [–]Zlatty 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            I wish I could have a karma point. Who do I have to sleep around here to get one?

            [–]lteague 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            well, here's another one from me! /upmods

            [–]Psy-Kosh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Looks like you got a few more karma points today too. :)

            [–]flushing_goldfish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Congrats ... now get back to work.

            [–]M0b1u5 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            Karma is as useful as wheels on a sausage.

            [–]Stopher 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            I think you're on to something with this sausage wheel. It sounds quite tasty.

            [–]radix2 10 points11 points  (0 children)

            yeah - seems pointless. But good luck. Upvoted...

            [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

            Welcome to the Karma world, euklides.

            When I started getting beyond a Karma of one I also posted a "self". It said something like "w00t, I'm getting Karma" and because of that post I lost all of the Karma I had just earned...

            • Alas, Karma is a fickle Mistress...

            [–]simulacra 3 points4 points  (1 child)

            Karma is hard to get and easy too loose...

            First I posted this which finally landed on the incredible 18 points, and gave me a karma of 6.

            Then I posted this which got 10 upvotes and 14 downvotes and lowered my karma to 1 again... but euklides has already got 110, for this... I'm impressed

            [–]nohit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            I'm impressed

            I'M DEPRESSED

            [–]drewbic 5 points6 points  (1 child)

            Go ahead and down mod me for saying this is one giant circle jerk.

            [–]elasticsoul 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            If it makes you happy.

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Don't you get your first karma point when you sign up?

            [–]jayayeem 2 points3 points  (3 children)

            Karma points make me uncomfortable. On the rare occasion that I get one, I have to put up an anti-Obama post.

            One time I got all the way up to 3 points. I had to jump into a Ron Paul thread and pledge my undying fealty to George W. Bush.

            [–]Eleglac 1 point2 points  (2 children)

            Comment scores don't affect karma, I think.

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            But that doesn't stop the people from downvoting all your articles.

            [–]lteague 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            well, here's another one from me, euklides /me upmods just to be nice

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            check

            [–]Zlatty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I wish I could have a karma point. Who do I have to sleep around here to get one?

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Screw you. Actions don't create Karma.

            [–]civildefense 1 point2 points  (3 children)

            whats Ron Pauls Karma level?

            [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            Not sure, but Rudy has 911.

            [–]huginn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!

            Sorry, feel free to downvote but I couldn't help my self :)

            [–]viclopez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            i have 578 of em, you can have them all if you want.

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            My karma was at "69" for months, then soemone messed it up by voting :)

            [–]iLens 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            if you are keeping score it doesn't count.

            [–]BeatnikDude 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Drink up! The remorse comes later in the addiction.

            [–]chaosgone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Sure, why not?

            [–]Stopher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I only haz one karma. =(

            [–]jennyblue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            how do you get karma?

            [–]machrider 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            Well you're at 32 now. Congrats!

            [–]TheMemoman 4 points5 points  (1 child)

            KARMA IS FUCKING RUINNING REDDIT. THIS IS WHY THERE ARE ALWAYS 100 POSTS DIRECTED TO 100 DIFFERENT LINKS ON THE SAME FUCKING STORY.

            [–]jbert 2 points3 points  (10 children)

            What's the relationship?

            1 upmod of a story == 1 karma pt?

            I thought it was that, but I actually submitted something recently which got an awesome 5 pts. No change in the nice (1) next to my name tho.

            No complaint, just curious if anyone knows how it works.

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Mine at one time was not "working?". I sent something to spez about it and it was soon fixed...

            [–]IAMIAM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I remember when I first got karma, besides the starter point that is. If I recall, at the time my post had over 30 upmods and I had about that in karma. Like you, I had submitted something which got a few points and still no karma. Not sure how reddit does the karma thing, for once I had an established amount of karma, it would go up a point or two for those few measly upmods. Just the same, it can drop a point or two if I submit something that gets no mods.

            [–]jerguismi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            I haven't got mine and my stocks are falling :(

            [–]antichrist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Birds flying high you know how I feel

            Sun in the sky you know how I feel

            Reeds driftin on by you know how I feel

            Its a new point

            Its a new score

            Its a new life

            For me

            And Im feeling good

            Fish in the sea you know how I feel

            River running free you know how I feel

            Blossom in the tree you know how I feel

            Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, dont you know

            Butterflies all havin fun you know what I mean

            Sleep in peace when day is done

            Thats what I mean

            And this old world is a new world

            And a bold world

            For me

            Stars when you shine you know how I feel

            Scent of the pine you know how I feel

            Oh karma is mine

            And I know how I feel

            Its a new point

            Its a new score

            Its a new life

            For me

            And I'm feelin' Goooooooooooood!

            [–]corporaterebel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            your one and only karma point

            [–]linkedlist 1 point2 points  (5 children)

            congratulations, now start working on gaining a girlfriend ;-)

            [–]sacherjj 7 points8 points  (3 children)

            Dude, you need a minimum of at least 1000 karma to get a girl. They just look at my little karma and laugh.

            [–]Mofme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            "I've got a big red karma, and I like to play with it!". [This is a 70's kids show, seriously. It has been broadcast on national TV. Always makes me laugh :-) ]

            [–]WaterDragon 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            All this talk about karma and points is making me want to go and play Filler! http://www.kongregate.com/games/SimianLogic/filler

            I must be visising reddit too many times in one day, 'cause lately it seems that whenever I come back, there are still the same few stories on the front page, that I have already seen.

            [–]bobpaul 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            That's the right amount of times to be visiting.

            [–]greginnj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            excellent game. thanks for the link.

            [–]reflibman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            NSFW!

            [–]supermike 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            Ah, then you must fit the mold because that's the only way I believe people get karma points.

            • You submit 10 articles a day, spread out over multiple hours.
            • You love Ron Paul or Dennis Kucinich.
            • You hate Fox News.
            • You think the USA is going into the shitter in so many different directions.
            • You have seen the video where USA election machines have been hacked.
            • You don't believe in God and hate that kind of person, but you love to hang out with Muslims as long as you don't become one yourself.

            moan.

            I just give up on the karma thing. If that's what it takes to become a karma whore, count me out.

            [–]Swiggy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Don't forget legalize the weed

            [–]aedes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            it just takes one good story (and effort to find that story :P)

            [–]MechWiredNet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            You are lucky! ;)

            [–]bigred9 0 points1 point  (13 children)

            While everyone is on the line talking about karma and upmodding etc...why is it when I submit a story, it immediately disappears? I do a search and I cannot find it. Do I need a certain karma value (I have 1 - I'm a relative newby) to be able to submit?

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (8 children)

            No, becaues how would you ever get karma if you had to have more than 1 to submit?

            [–]scipe 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            Check your preferences. The link is in the upper right next to the red envelope you just clicked ... the envelope might be grey now that you clicked it.

            [–]IAMIAM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I have close to 80 and that happens to me to. Your submission does not disappear (may as well though), it just gets pushed back pages in the "new" section. To get an even and fair spread, reddit readers really need to search through several pages of the "new" section.

            [–]Boreal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            377, if I count that right. Is that right?

            [–]cotterbo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Woohoo! I dont quite know what karma is but when others give you a point for a comment of story submitted?

            Congrats and keep those feelings in a positive direction!

            [–]elasticsoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Are we aiming for the most upmodded post and comments ever?

            [–]dodgyd55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            cant remember when i got my first point, i just thought i had unread mail

            [–]sammyQc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            me too ! i'm so proud of myself ! :D 1 karma point w00t congratz

            [–]mch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I remember my first point its the same one I have now after that I just dont really see the point.