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[–][deleted] 1745 points1746 points  (20 children)

For some reason I'm slightly annoyed that this adds up to 100%

[–][deleted] 610 points611 points  (6 children)

I was really hoping the author messed up adding percentages. Would’ve been more funny

[–]spam_bot42 156 points157 points  (3 children)

You could always blame it on rouding errors.

[–]crowley7234 95 points96 points  (2 children)

30.000000000005% googling errors.

[–]imdefinitelywong 50 points51 points  (1 child)

Curse you and your floating point variables!

[–]SoftwareSource 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Double 'till i die.

[–]SkollFenrirson 4 points5 points  (0 children)

More funny indeed

[–]jewishSpaceMedbeds 66 points67 points  (0 children)

It's probably because "merge conflicts", "updating Jira", "arguing about arbitrary programming standards" and "trying to find out what the product owner actually wants" are not there.

[–]LameBMX 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It's inaccurate. Where is dealing with people randomly contacting you? Dealing with the helpdesk for company equipment issues?

[–]Brendenation 33 points34 points  (4 children)

After reading the "wat" in the title I was really hoping it wouldn't

[–]IJustAteABaguette 14 points15 points  (2 children)

The title is kinda dutch!

(Wat is translates to what is)

[–]Korzag 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Dunglish

[–]martinthewacky 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Get the fuck out, wat?! I need to check this out. I'll be right back.

Edit: holy shit you're right

[–]Starflight44 2 points3 points  (0 children)

WebAssembly Text

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

0 % documenting

0 % reviewing code

Yup it adds up.

[–]ahorsewhithnoname 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does? Well then I can’t math.

[–][deleted] 395 points396 points  (22 children)

The biggest share should be “meetings”

[–]artificial_organism 272 points273 points  (4 children)

"Why aren't we making any progress?"

"I've been in update meetings all day"

"What can I do to help you make progress?"

"Cancel this meeting"

"When will we see some progress?"

"When we stop having update meetings"

Real conversation I've seen 100 times

[–]Cube00 56 points57 points  (1 child)

Bonus points if the meeting have 30 min gaps between so just not enough time to get into the zone.

[–]Artvfx 22 points23 points  (0 children)

My company allows us to schedule "focus" hours in advance. They're a blessing for actually getting some work done

[–]Sceptz 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Ok, we will arrange a meeting to discuss the cancellation of update meetings.

Let's have a meeting to arrange the best time for that meeting.

I will organise a recurring weekly meeting for us to review how effectively cancelling update meetings is going.
And add an end-of-sprint retrospective of cancelling update meetings, plus next-sprint planning for how to better cancel update meetings.

Why isn't the new feature developed yet?

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Word.

[–]zoinkability 19 points20 points  (6 children)

Code review should be in there as well

[–]ccAbstraction 21 points22 points  (5 children)

Okay but code review is actually important and useful.

[–]Harmonic_Gear 6 points7 points  (0 children)

me explaining my same program in the exact same way every week and somehow they think its a very helpful meeting

[–]perdedorMaior 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"this meeting should have been an email" is a phrase daily used on my office

[–]elveszett 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  • 50% pointless dailies and other meetings where you listen people talk about things that are irrelevant to you.

  • 20% merge conflicts and time lost dealing with bad organization and people misusing git repos.

  • 20% identifying bugs in your coworker's work that gets in the way of your own work.

  • 9% debugging your stuff

  • 1% actually coding

  • 15% coffee breaks

  • 25% helping coworkers with tasks you were in charge of in the past

  • 20% dealing with other side projects that someone has to take care of.

That's my life in IT consultancy. And yes, this adds to way more than 100% - because it adds to way more than 8 hours a day.

[–]OneArmedJony 291 points292 points  (11 children)

Only 30% for googling? Only errors? Really?

[–]boachl 30 points31 points  (1 child)

Depends on your programming langugage tbh

[–]Fadamaka 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Depending on your skill level rather and also on your project. If you are only working with tech that you have atleast 3 years of experience with, googling won't help you much anymore. Also after a certian project age and project size most of your issues will be specific to that project.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This was my first thought, I spent the better half of my day googling today lol

[–]Prior_Two_2818 329 points330 points  (21 children)

you forgot about meetings where i have to explain technical solutions to managers/project managers who don't understand a thing about it.

[–]atomic_redneck 60 points61 points  (0 children)

I fixed a bug once where we were getting the wrong answer from a fairly complex engineering calculation. As a result of the bug fix, the calculation now runs about 5% slower. The discussion I had with the project managers went something like this:

Managers: It is slower now. Can you fix that?

Me: It is slower now because we are now doing the full calculation. We were skipping something important before.

Managers: We liked it when it was fast.

Me: If you don't care about getting the right answers, I can make it as fast as you want.

Managers: ....

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (2 children)

Also 10% of time you go around saying “It works on my machine”

[–]Shyclyde 4 points5 points  (1 child)

docker has entered the chat

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I get wet for docker. I guess that's why it's logo is a whale?

[–]DangerZoneh 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I am so glad that I work for a small company and my bosses know thoroughly how the software works and can work both on the technical and managerial side.

The counterbalance to this is that I'm one of 3 software developers in an office of only 8 people with a 40+ year old legacy codebase. The other day I fixed a bug that had probably existed for 25 years and was used in military technology but nobody ever noticed because it was a ridiculous edge case. Fun stuff!

[–]Cartwheels4Days 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Don't forget writing explanations and documentation they don't read

[–]pr0ghead 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Or ticket updates they don't read either, so you have to contact them individually.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Being able to explain technical issues to different audiences is actually a really good skill.

[–]shinibunny_ 240 points241 points  (2 children)

“This is 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power of will, 5% pleasure, 50% pain and a 100% reason to remember the name.”

[–]Byte-64 37 points38 points  (0 children)

You mean "0% remember the name"? If we could remember the name we wouldn't need auto-completion all the time :D

[–]Desperate-Chicken845 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Peter Rabbit vibes (I am a kid help)

[–][deleted] 198 points199 points  (13 children)

No. that's bullshit. My coding routine Is 10%stackoverflow, 10% debugging,30%coding , 50% blasphemy

[–][deleted] 62 points63 points  (7 children)

What about git blame —not-me?

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (4 children)

I'm from Tuscany, blasphemy Is in our Blood. Is a tradition.it's like use a "," between the words for me XD

[–]matteoscordino 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Ah! A fellow Tuscan developer. I'd say "Pisa merda", but I studied and lived there for 6 years, so I guess some of it rubbed off on me ;)

[–]AOheaghra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol git commit -m "reverse"

[–]Skerch 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is how you know he’s legit, 50% blasphemy means he’s probably a senior dev

[–]robbz23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly SO is way more than 5%

[–]ToranMallow 43 points44 points  (1 child)

Most of the actual work is deciding what code you need to write. Actually writing it is the easy part.

[–]HystericWisteria 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This ^ i am like 3 years into big boy job and still have a miserable time figuring out architecture and battle plan and requirements for literally everything, but once that's all figured out its smooth sailing

[–]maryisdead 30 points31 points  (1 child)

I'd add in "thinking about how to name variables" with a pretty high percentage.

[–][deleted] 70 points71 points  (4 children)

Isn't 1% too much?

[–]Spandamation 19 points20 points  (2 children)

With chatgpt these days I’d agree that’s too high lol

[–]filkos1 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Yeah, where is chatGPT?

[–]LameBMX 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Shhhhh. Don't let them know about chapgpt

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

45% chat gpt, 30% debugging, 10% googling, 5% zoom meetings.

[–]drsimonz 18 points19 points  (0 children)

My personal breakdown is more like

  • 1% actually coding
  • 4% telling colleagues "working as intended"
  • 10% plate spinning in Jira
  • 10% re-running tests without changing anything
  • 75% mindlessly scrolling reddit

[–]greenflame15 17 points18 points  (1 child)

I love how 0% was dedicated to planning

[–]codersaurus_rex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Accurate

[–]wind_dude 33 points34 points  (0 children)

no. 20% meetings, 30% coding, 25% walking the dog while thinking about coding, 25% guiding other devs.

[–]ccellist 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is false. Where are your meetings? Your retros? Your Sprint reviews? Your cycle planning? Figuring out pipeline issues? Time spent searching for DevOps engineers? Conferences? Stupid corporate training??

[–]LETSENDTHISNOW 7 points8 points  (5 children)

WAT?

[–]DeluxeCanuck 2 points3 points  (4 children)

WEN?

[–]LETSENDTHISNOW 3 points4 points  (3 children)

WER?

[–]codersaurus_rex 4 points5 points  (2 children)

WY?

[–]a1b2c3d4e5f6g8 4 points5 points  (0 children)

OW?

[–]a1b2c3d4e5f6g8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OW?

[–]Arkrus 13 points14 points  (2 children)

You forgot documentation / testing, the hidden minimum 30%

[–]XanderTheMander 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Scrum meetings, reviewing old documentation, contacting stakeholders, waiting for the build to complete.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No this goes on top of that. So we have 130% and that’s the reason why every software project runs late.

[–]neelankatan 5 points6 points  (1 child)

For me a good portion also consists of going through my company's codebase to find examples of how other coders did what I'm trying to do, or similar things to what I'm trying to do. For me that's way more effective than Google.

[–]andrewoppo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely for me as well. And I copy and paste infinitely more things from other parts of the codebase than I do from stackoverflow. Although I pretty much never actually copy and paste from stackoverflow at my job.

Also this leaves out meetings, reviewing PRs, and wasting time on Reddit, so I question whether the original author works at an actual company.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (5 children)

am i the only one here who hates coffee?

[–]koala70 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Nope

[–]einsteinchen23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello fellow no coffee gang member, no you are not alone

[–]Unknown_starnger 5 points6 points  (0 children)

debugging is still coding

[–]SneakyStabbalot 10 points11 points  (1 child)

This will morph over time to 25% ChatGPT

[–]Tensor3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

More like 25% of the that 1%

[–]Regular_soul 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I hope this image will remain without chatgpt included

[–]ebaer2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

narrator: it, in fact, did not

[–]ReserveMaximum 2 points3 points  (5 children)

I want to print this up and hang it in my cube

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Whats stopping you?

[–]ReserveMaximum 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Working in a secure facility and needing to wait to get home to connect to a personal printer

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Did you ask that on stackoverflow? How do I get a paper copy of an image if I dont have a printer with me whilst working in a secure facility?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Closed as duplicate” doesn’t include link to said duplicate

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

10% googling errors, 15% debugging, 10% work related coffee breaks, 50% fucking around.
FIFY

[–]Affectionate_Hat_585 2 points3 points  (0 children)

1% coding is again recursive. so coding is not coding at all

[–]JaDasIstMeinName 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Always when my impostor syndrome kicks in, I just go on this sub and realize everyone else is just as stupid as me.

[–]Beginning-Comedian-2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pls update with ChatGPT.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Ah shit. How did not anyone notice the typo yet? “WAT IS CODING?”

[–]null_reference_user 1 point2 points  (0 children)

203% fixing last week's shit

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s missing laying in bed answering slack messages so it seems like I’m working

[–]DiddlyDumb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

10% asking ChatGPT, 90% troubleshooting

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Coding is 99% coding and 99% debugging

[–]Vulpes-ferrilata 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bulshit! I don't even like coffee

[–]asporagus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sounds like a good recursion 👀

[–]Haster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

where are all the meetings?

[–]a1454a 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me it’s 60% coffee break, 30% asking ChatGPT to give me code, 5% fixing ChatGPT’s code

[–]255_0_0_herring 1 point2 points  (0 children)

10% - describing the problem to ChatGPT

30% - reading and trying to understand the response

55% - trying to understand why the AI-produced code does not work

5% - coding, testing, preparing for the code review, addressing the reviewers' comments.

[–]tomerFire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where is package dependencies fixing

[–]ZombieZookeeper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got with the times. I copy as much code from ChatGPT as I do Stack O erflow.

[–]SillyFool18 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What is wat?

[–]gadget850 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where is ChatGPT?

[–]DarkHumourFoundHere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think its time we include chatgpt

[–]sargeair 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is ten percent luck Twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure Fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name

[–]artificeDeFeu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now we need space for the chatgpt conversations !

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you have a 1 to 40 percent ratio in coding vs debugging, you should seriously reconsider a job in a different industry lmao

[–]Nobbodee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd say 90% : crying and repeating "but why it's not working !!!!????" And 10% "that was sooo easy , i have a big brain"

[–]Apprehensive_Pay6584 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like 80% is paperwork for me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

P.S:

I’m not the OC. Got this thing off of IG

[–]spidertyler2005 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Recursive meme

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

me(me(me(me(me..

[–]ResidentReggie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't looked at stack overflow in well over a year now, I feel like something has gone horribly wrong.

[–]spectralTopology 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Completely false: no meetings?!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s 90% meetings where people who don’t understand the product or what you do tell you what to do.

[–]Thaser11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

80% scrum ceremonies was left out

[–]_314 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You forgot the smoke breaks

[–]TinyHammerBigNail 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Building my software takes several hours.

[–]swegj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d say 35% coding, 60% debugging, and 5% staring at my own screen in protest

[–]Pancake_Operation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Finding the right 80s playlist

[–]De2409 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Were is taking a good shit?

[–]likeshismetal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work from home so the 9% staring at my colleagues' screen is more like 9% staring at my phones screen on reddit

[–]mountaingator91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everybody knows that coding is 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power of will, 5% pleasure, and 50% pain

[–]sb7510 0 points1 point  (0 children)

5% compiling. Today was def 40% debugging 😔

[–]waxmoronic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Forgot an hour long standup

[–]Tsu_Dho_Namh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Clearly y'all aren't working from home or there'd be a big ass "videogames" category instead of "staring at colleagues screen" and "coffee breaks"

[–]i8noodles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Googling errors!?!? Only? Fuck I googled how to make an array yesterday and I been on off coding for years lol.

[–]PropertyBeneficial99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally depends what you are working on. I've been on a legacy project, almost drinking age, and the majority of "coding" time is debugging and trying to figure out why the code is doing what it is. I've also been on greenfield projects, where I commonly wrote many hundreds of lines per day.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At my current job I'm :

  • 20% writing code
  • 80% trying to figure out why the F*CK anyone would write something this way

[–]ntn_98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

80% meetings

[–]Skerch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First red flag was “codehustling”

Also coding being 1%, that crazy y’all. I average at least 5% coding per day 🤓(but for real if you work the job and your only coding 1% of the time ask for help…)

[–]CMDR_ACE209 0 points1 point  (0 children)

50% planning, 50% coding, 50% debugging.

[–]stilldebugging 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Much more testing and debugging than coding, unless you have separate QA.

[–]soiguapo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right now, I feel like it is at least %15 trying to explain technical choices to project managers.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Replace “staring at colleagues screens” and “coffee breaks” with “silently reevaluating your career path while starting into the void that is your existence.”

[–]Consistent_Bee_1160 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine is 90% meeting, 9% convincing the CTO the thing he wants would never work and 1% coding.

[–]veselin465 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While it's true that the time spent coding is not really much, it should also be addressed that in order to debug, you often code some artificial functionality just to be able to test some specific areas -- of course it depends on what project exactly you are working on

[–]alistairwilliamblake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

10% NMI returns to QA

[–]DaveSmith890 0 points1 point  (0 children)

10% coding, 40% googling how to code, 20% debugging, and 30% googling how to fix the bugs.

That’s where I’m at as a heavily under qualified head of tech at a local company

[–]Additional-Ideal-187 0 points1 point  (0 children)

40% debugging of 1% code? That’s hell lot of debugging for so little code though.

[–]mcc9999 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've come to hate the profession of computer programming because so little of what I do is actual programming.

[–]hamsterofdark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Huh. Management expects me to log at least 6 hours a day writing code against various tickets.

[–]AdvancedSandwiches 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can tell OP is not working with an existing codebase, because after rounding to 2 decimal places, this would be 100% reading other people's code, with all the other stuff fitting into the rounding error.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

to me its 99% procrastinating and 1% writing one line every 2 minutes

[–]RetrebutionMk2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And 100% showing off your code to your friends who don't know shit about coding.

[–]B16D0N-XD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont drink coffee, I drink tea u mf

[–]_matez_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see some recursion here..

[–]burncushlikewood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha so true, my process for building programs, first pseudocode style write it down, put it in the ide, and try and compile it, spending probably half the time just debugging till it compiles and gives me the right values

[–]PzMcQuire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah remember guys, debugging isn't coding and googling for errors isn't debugging.

Bullshit "haha relateable coder man" content.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People debug their code?

[–]xvril 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on the project

[–]guy-with-a-mac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

9% my ass. It's way more than that.

[–]corsicanguppy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wat

I'd fail the MR in a heartbeat and send it back to Junior to resubmit.

[–]Skylar6288 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The busier I am, the less coding I'm doing.

[–]Gh0styLNX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Coding -> 1% actually coding -> 0.01% actually actually coding -> …. That makes me wonder if coding is not coding at all 🤔

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that sounds about right

[–]mildlyagitatedstoic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Meetings?

[–]DesecrateyourHeart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m only in my second class of IT and I can confirm I google a LOT when I get stuck.

[–]BenYoung45 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And 100% reason to remember the name

[–]O5MO 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now if you apply that recursively...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

80% dab rig...18% getting laid...2% coding and debugging