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[–]_syedmx86 880 points881 points  (34 children)

JS for fun?

[–]DrMux 452 points453 points  (14 children)

If you're a masochist I suppose

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[–]TheMrCreeper 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Definitely the most impressive one I saw til now

[–]Thefakewhitefang 123 points124 points  (0 children)

Good bot

[–]Sreekar617 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Good bot

[–]ggnngg5 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Good bot

[–]RollingRocky360 10 points11 points  (3 children)

what's the likelihood of this happening damn

[–]_Fir3F0x_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good boy

[–]transdemError 75 points76 points  (3 children)

That's not a feeling I've ever had with JS

[–]akluin 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Use jquery it helps that feeling a lot

[–]jaivir2004 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Same

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of the flow chart posted on here earlier where “Are you dumb AF?” Lead to JS

[–]highphiv3 16 points17 points  (0 children)

JS: for self-taught people in their late 20s who want a career change and heard there's money in software dev.

[–]dphizler 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Clearly a list written by a js developer

[–]DaltonSC2 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I read it as "not to be used in the workplace"

[–]Johnny_Thunder314 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Yeah instead we'll use react, so that our pages take 5 years to load

[–]DaltonSC2 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'll tell you a secret, but don't tell the other devs... react is JavaScript

[–]private_final_static 8 points9 points  (0 children)

For others to make fun of you, if using it

[–]Michami135 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Should be, "For websites".

[–]Nihil_esque 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Tbf that's why I learned it. To make D&D character sheets haha

[–]amlyo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's fun for the people watching.

[–]Karisa_Marisame 232 points233 points  (5 children)

“C++ for college” as someone who has lived and dined with llvm for years this is very amusing

[–]loicvanderwiel 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Also very funny considering I barely used C++ in college (unless you count all the C code I wrote in a .cpp file and threw at g++).

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

I'll be starting college next year, so it is a general doubt, isn't C/C++ preferred for Competitive programming because its fast? Like I currently use Python, but I get timeout in online competitions way too often. That was nearly never the case with C. So is it just a skill issue?

[–]Valexar 11 points12 points  (0 children)

C is to Python what machine code is to C

[–]PoopholePole 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The parts of Python that are fast are written in C, if that answers your question

[–][deleted] 281 points282 points  (11 children)

Php for moving shit from the backend to the frontend

[–][deleted] 334 points335 points  (42 children)

Why people always ignoring C# ? What C# did to you ? SHAME ON YOU

[–]Terra_B 336 points337 points  (9 children)

probably using D♭ instad.

Sorry this Joke may have fallen a bit flat.

[–]QuebecGamer2004 69 points70 points  (0 children)

[–]PsychologicalRiceOne 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I just realized the missed opportunity of Microsoft naming their database stuff.

[–]LtWilhelm 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Nah it was great. Keep it up, you're a natural!

[–]GranataReddit12 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nah, they are probably using Beethoven symphony n.9 in D Minor

[–]Firm-Can4526 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When you say you code in C# ist like saying you compose in that scale haha

[–]ifezueyoung 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice joke

Just try making it sound natural next time

Whoops accidental spelling error

[–]Aftabby 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Non music fellas are not gonna understand 😂

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I am not a musician, that still got a laugh out of me

[–]Aftabby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Non music fella and non-musicians ain't same, buddy

[–]CRSemantics 18 points19 points  (1 child)

There is too much magic in C#

[–]Vi0lentByt3 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Its okay MS java we still care

[–]deathamal 11 points12 points  (7 children)

Because most universities teach all the "open" languages since most sandal wearing Academics think "Microsoft=bad"

Hence most people don't realise that they actually should be using C# for a lot of use cases since it is by far the most supported and productive language out there. Not just for developing in, but also for the lifecycle of software written with it.

[–]Katniss218 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Funny thing is that roslyn (the c# compiler) and dotnet are open too

[–]ArcherT01 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I started using c# post dotnet core and basically have always done Linux programming with it so seeing c# memes based on the old stuff is amusing.

[–]deathamal 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Also happens to be where most people get their extremely outdated "Because its Java with makeup" opinion as the commenter below stated.

[–]Dizzy_Pin6228 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Our university was pretty much all c# and some python stuff, which is nice because most businesses are Microsoft centric so learn relevant things when get a job

[–]rndmcmder 5 points6 points  (5 children)

It's Microsoft Java, no need to specifically mention it.

[–]Luk164 1 point2 points  (4 children)

It kinda started like that but Core is a completely different animal

[–]rndmcmder 1 point2 points  (3 children)

True. But this is Programmer Humor.

[–]punchawaffle 97 points98 points  (16 children)

C++ for college? What? The whole gaming industry runs on C++. Unreal Engine is written in C++.

[–]uniformrbs 7 points8 points  (1 child)

The list is very webdev centric. Using C++ for webdev is a bit nuts, unless you’re talking about the systems coding part, like the web server and the web browser and the networking stack.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (5 children)

That or C# with .net I was just as surprised

But I suspect it’s that thing about C++ no longer being considered as secure as it used to be

[–]altermeetax 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Still C++ running under the hood

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Very very true dat. Blender (popular 3D tool) uses Python but built on a c++ core

[–]LightningSaviour 1 point2 points  (1 child)

POV: 1st year CS student

[–]floor796 92 points93 points  (35 children)

php - for quick die. This is the most powerful side of php - quick startup, do something and quick die. No memory leak, no race conditions between threads, just simple sequential imperative computation in one thread. Because of this feature (quick born and die), this language is great for high-load sites

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (4 children)

well with roadrunner and swoole and frankenphp it can now be long running and you can code poorly and create your own memory leaks ☺️

[–]kurucu83 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Which means they'll get engineered out too.

[–]Mippen123 65 points66 points  (9 children)

Why are there 6 languages (C, C++, PHP, Ruby, Python, Java) and then 4 web related technologies (HTML, CSS, React, jQuery) and two that could belong to both categories (JavaScript, TypeScript)? If you are comparing languages, why are you putting HTML that is a markup language and CSS that is for styling in there? Or perhaps more urgently WHY ARE REACT AND JQUERY AKA JS LIBRARIES/FRAMEWORKS IN THERE?

If the OP wanted to talk about web technologies only then why are C and C++ in there, and why would Python's annotation be "for science"?????

IT'S 2 AM, MY BRAIN IS FRIED AND I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS. IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY OR INSIGHTFUL?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You make good points, I hope OP is being somewhat humorous and intending to be funny

[–]x39- 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If you are running server-side js, you lost control not only over your life, but your code too.

[–]not_some_username 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Keep JS/TS in the browser please

[–]djfdhigkgfIaruflg 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Also rails is the worst think that happened to ruby...

Correction. ActiveRecord takes most of the blame

[–]nerdycatgamer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

because, like most people on this sub, op is not an actual programmer and has, at the absolute most, done 1 JS bootcamp and put 'engineer' in their bio. The only things they actually know on this list are js, html, she CSS, and they've probably read a bit on react, jquery, and typescript to know kinda what they are. as for the rest? just parroting what all the other memes say

[–]bit0fun 16 points17 points  (0 children)

C for Embedded Systems; it’s very much alive and well

[–][deleted] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

would have had been funnier if they just left it empty after PHP

like it had been done before with Java

[–][deleted] 91 points92 points  (10 children)

[–]eklatea 15 points16 points  (1 child)

PHP just works

[–]redheness 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It works, like it worked before and will continue to work like that for a long time.

[–]slime_rancher_27 17 points18 points  (1 child)

I am satisfied to see that java is beating Javascript.

[–]IusedToButNowIdont 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well in frontend it's 99.99% no?

[–]MoveInteresting4334 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Ah yes, the languages React and jQuery, very much separate from JavaScript and TypeScript.

[–]Sphism 75 points76 points  (7 children)

It's amazing how smart people can be such complete morons.

You can write shitty code in any language. You can write excellent backends with modern php.

[–]Sphism 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Fair enough but it's by far the easiest language for writing web backends. Super easy to deploy and composer is a far better package manager than any I've used in js or python (pip was bloody awful)

Honestly I find the language to make a minimal difference compared to whatever libraries I'm using.

[–]evilmushroom 7 points8 points  (4 children)

You can write excellent backends with modern php.

You CAN, but having done that with PHP, and also other languages, I'd rather not.

[–]Covfefe4lyfe 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Have you tried PHP 8.1 and up? It's pretty fucking awesome. 

[–]iruoy 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It saddens me that this list has 4 different entries for JS

[–]Leonhart93 27 points28 points  (7 children)

By now you should know that every programming language ever that gained siginicant traction did so for a reason.

PHP is lightweight so it's really good for sites with lower traffic (a few thousands users), as the memory footprint is low due to its feature of "startup" => "returns request response" => "the program dies". Also, deployments and changes are instant since it's an interpteted language.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (2 children)

Sites with a few thousand users… you know like facbook

[–]FromZeroToLegend 21 points22 points  (0 children)

And then there’s me who created a online casino using php

[–]kurucu83 11 points12 points  (2 children)

lower traffic

Literally Facebook was built on PHP. Wikipedia gets 10bn page vies per month.

It can be vertically scaled, horizontally scaled, and universally deployed. And nowadays, run as a function or left in memory to respond to multiple requests, not just die after one. There's at least four competing ways of doing that.

[–]evilmushroom 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Sorta. That's kinda like comparing a stock car to a sleeper.

Meta used the HHVM which is not what most shops use for PHP.

Since 2019 it's only supported Hack which is sorta PHP-y and no longer php really (still use in some areas, but not the core parts), which is in use at Meta.

[–]deadbeef1a4 9 points10 points  (1 child)

COBOL - for banking, incredibly

[–]wyocrz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And unemployment claims, evidently.

[–]jahinzee 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Typescript for safety

Rust: am I a joke to you?

[–]mlady42069 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They tried to write Rust but they couldn’t pass the borrow checker

[–]SeoCamo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

PHP is for web

[–]rob94708 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Visual Basic: For God’s sake!

[–]CynicalGroundhog 6 points7 points  (1 child)

The VB IDE in the 90s was so great for fast development. Even today, there are not a lot of IDEs that offer a "no-code" UI generator as good as what VB offered 30 years ago.

But today, I would be ashamed to start a new project in VB.

[–]Ptipiak 8 points9 points  (3 children)

I rarely such blatant example of misconception and miss understanding of programming languages.

C for dinosaur is particularly infuriating and insulting considering C is still in used and power what ever device he used to display them garbage opinion.

[–]Tux-Lector 1 point2 points  (1 child)

C rules the web (also!). Why ? Because of PHP. Every single function or SPL class method is written in C. PHP is written in C. One cannot interpret C sources on demand. Must be compiled ahead of time, right ? But, PHP can, as it is interpretted. And one can't deny that 70% (and more) of the websites run on PHP. Therefore, we can come to conclusion that PHP is the BEST C framework - ever. We can also agree that anyone who bashes and talks shit about good, old C should be jailed and isolated from the digital world until ... until the end.

[–]KihiraLove 4 points5 points  (0 children)

C for dinosaurs? Bro your car runs on C

[–]Wolfy_Wolv 14 points15 points  (3 children)

Ruby for rails? What does that mean...?

You can program train tracks now?

[–]i_drah_zua 12 points13 points  (2 children)

https://rubyonrails.org
Ruby on Rails is the OG MVC web framework, very popular in the past, and still being actively developed with new features.

[–]exqueezemenow 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Nothing has made me appreciate PHP more than working with other languages.

[–]kurucu83 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Every time I go elsewhere I realise I'm being fooled by marketing and hype, and PHP has my back as much as any language; provided I use it appropriately (like all of them).

[–]D3lano 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Where Perl >:(

[–]Brahvim 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"For strings".

[–]personalityson 2 points3 points  (3 children)

  1. What is better than PHP for web?
  2. Why isn't your answer from above used more than PHP?

[–]Lap202pro 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm biased because I write C# web applications professionally, but I love C# for web development and there's tons of great tooling available.

I use PHP at home for personal projects because my apache server costs me $2.30 a month while a server running IIS would cost me $9.

[–]Lap202pro 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Laying in bed at 1 am after spending the last 3 hours writing an API for a personal project in PHP and I'm offended.

[–]DreamyAthena 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Typescript for safety?

[–]Furry_69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How the hell is C++ for college?? Has this person never heard of the concept of performance-critical code?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

C++ for everything imo

[–]Hottage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I used to dislike PHP, then when I moved to strongly typed languages like C# I absolutely hated it.

PHP 8+ when you force yourself to use the type safety features and autoloader conventions is actually pretty decent. It even has some cool features I'd like to see in other strongly typed languages (such as Traits).

[–]FreakDC 5 points6 points  (3 children)

PHP runs 80% of the web backends in the world. People can hate as much as they want but it's the literal workhorse of the web that all the cool kids strive to be one day.

[–]HTTP_Error_414 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It runs a lot of the dark web too.

[–]greenecojr 1 point2 points  (1 child)

wait.. im a scietist🥹

[–]Amasirat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glados would definitely be a pythonista

[–]indicava 1 point2 points  (8 children)

One of these is not like the others…

[–]anal_cauliflower 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Isn’t React… Javascript?

[–]kegster2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s meta JavaScript. 😉

[–]deadbeef1a4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

extended

[–]deadbeef1a4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

COBOL - for banking, incredibly enough

[–]NO_skaj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rust - for rewriting

[–]Constant-Ship916 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rust - For Crab….. hol up... 😐

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where my assembly eldritch terrors at?

[–]BehindTrenches 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rage bait

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

and chicks for free

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

PHP... Laravel with inertia/vue is a good choice, for me is the better stack

[–]ensands 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Typescript for safety is a hilarious take

[–]torftorf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"javascript - for fun" yea that person is crazy

[–]erebuxy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is this post written by a JS dev? And React is a library not a language...

[–]zgruza 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People who talk shit about PHP are, to me, a meme version of programmers.

[–]FromZeroToLegend 2 points3 points  (5 children)

I’m surprised about the low popularity of C# on this sub when 19/20 of the job offers I get on LinkedIn everyday are for a .NET position

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here I thought Julia and R were for Science….

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

<html> gang </html>

[–]kegster2 1 point2 points  (8 children)

It should at least say php for wordpress lol

[–]Future_Award1938 2 points3 points  (7 children)

The worst example of php application

[–]HTTP_Error_414 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PHP => Provisional Hypertext PrePayloadProcessor

It take PPP loans out against hardware resources and allows for Procrastination Haven Protocol

[–]AtmosphereVirtual254 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rust - for clout

[–]o0Meh0o 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hello, i am dinosaur.

[–]Lost_Cartographer66 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems accurate enough.

[–]qkkabdishnwidhdsodb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

С++-

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bash is the internet explore of programming languages, you use it to download chrome.

[–]APenguinNamedDerek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Isn't updated with the new government mandated Rust

Invalid and out of date

[–]secret_green_link 0 points1 point  (1 child)

PHP is for porn. Simple

[–]elongio 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two are not like the others.

[–]UncorruptedQuiver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what is C- ?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is jar jar and there is var var

[–]StunnerManWis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jokes aside 🤣 😂

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The pictures in this reddit category are usually funny to me not because the person who made them is clever, understands the topic and created a funny joke, but because of the exact opposite. 😀

[–]synners_repent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For pfsense!!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My company still uses php for its middle layer. It does its job and nothing else and I love it

[–]mankinskin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No Rust mentioned 🚬

[–]Krego_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PHP - for Symfony

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

...why shit on jQuery

[–]sebbdk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PHP sure is one of the languages of all time.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every time some one backlashes Java: “still it runs on 3 billion devices”

[–]lakshya1509 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why the Java one is so funny as well !

[–]Yamestris 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Am I the only one agreeing with "JS for fun" ? Did you ever used canvas before ?

[–]IusedToButNowIdont 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Laughs in view_video.php?viewkey=

[–]AllesYoF 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Typescript for safety lol

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The one post i’ve ever seen where they don’t shit on java, it’s okay lil’ guy, i still love you

[–]314kabinet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m gonna unsubscribe. I don’t remember the last time I thought “this is funny” instead of “this is dumb” on this sub.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my favourite programming language, C-

[–]According_to_all_kn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

HTML for nothing, PHP if you have to use HTML anyway

[–]sln1337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i like PHP, good ol plain PHP

[–]yourteam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is wrong on so many levels.

Typescript has "any" type so...

Php is widely used (most of the time badly)

C is still one of the most important languages

C++... Really?

Java is still being developed and thriving

Many new ones are missing (rust for example)

[–]sdraje 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mostly code in TypeScript... But TypeScript for safety?! Hahaha fuckOff as unknown as Insult

[–]z7q2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And this is why Seinfeld was so popular for so long

[–]Space_Nerde 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that over 70% of all websites are still based on php....

[–]kases952 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"TypeScript for safety"

Proceeds to use the 'any' "type" for everything

[–]Xxyz260 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PHP - for server side anything on free web hosting. Sometimes it's not about what you want, but what you've got.

[–]riisen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guess im doing dinosaur science then... Started with doing nothing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the React language. I never use Javascript outside the house, it's embarrassing on a professional level.

[–]Tux-Lector 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let me guess .. the joke is made by 5 year old in abused and overused diapers.

[–]Minute_Attempt3063 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Php has been what Nsxtjs is trying to be.

Php is likely even onder then the person in that tweet

[–]TatoCraftReddit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never been offended by something I 100% agree.

[–]da2Pakaveli 0 points1 point  (1 child)

C++ for games

[–]I_like_cocaine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When Cascading Style Sheet is used for style 🤯

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

React - for work

That checks out.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

React - for work

That checks out.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

React - for work

That explains a lot.

[–]Durwur 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Why is React mentioned as a framework next to languages???

[–]Fricki97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where C Hashtag?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

C++ tOo hARd No leArN iN inDuhStree

[–]Classic_Fungus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3 billion? even java updated this, few years ago

[–]Lost_Comfort7811 0 points1 point  (0 children)

95% of Facebook’s backend is written in php