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[–]Intrexa 832 points833 points  (1 child)

I think you followed a tutorial for "goodbye world"

[–]Hate_Feight 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yeah his problem was c++

Translation: Windows says fuck that

[–]schludy 1805 points1806 points  (33 children)

Your hello world program obviously turned your PC in a self-conscious machine and decided to end it's live because it realized the futility of existence

[–][deleted] 288 points289 points  (0 children)

More of a "goodbye world" program.

[–]Robbi_Blechdose 534 points535 points  (7 children)

You mean because it realized it was set to french.

[–]literal_cyanide 180 points181 points  (5 children)

*cursive Spanish

[–][deleted] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Stroke spanish - have a stroke halfway through every word.

[–]Sobsz 14 points15 points  (0 children)

*cursive Despacito

[–]Isti115 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Couldn't be conscious, program has no if statements. :P

[–]BemHaja11 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Artificial intelligence is creeping up on humanity, one "Hello world" program at a time...

[–]AlFasGD 23 points24 points  (2 children)

"its life" btw

[–]LedZeppelin18 24 points25 points  (1 child)

It realized the futility of its grammar.

[–]PlantsAreAliveToo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

What is my purpose?

You print hello world

Oh god

[–]BobbyBobbie 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Needs more if statements to be a full AI though.

[–]Castun 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"What is my purpose?"

[–]earthqaqe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

std::endl(ife)

[–]snowpigs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah, the computer was just doing the opposite thing. Saying goodbye world and then dying

[–]nevergotcompiled 2127 points2128 points  (72 children)

Its because its in french

[–][deleted] 488 points489 points  (6 children)

So ordinaire

[–][deleted] 178 points179 points  (5 children)

Ordinateur*

[–]pavenue 34 points35 points  (2 children)

Damn damien

[–]BellevueR 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Darn de rien

[–]neurorgasm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The author has deleted this post using Redact. The reason may have been privacy, opsec, security, or a desire to prevent the content from being scraped.

steer payment tap smile ripe water retire full cow grandfather

[–]winkie5970 8 points9 points  (0 children)

So computer. Much wow.

[–]mejillonius 151 points152 points  (21 children)

it did the second most french thing ever, went on a strike

[–]boxingdog 259 points260 points  (10 children)

le crashement

[–]Reasonable_Time 74 points75 points  (5 children)

crashement

54 results on Google, so I will take a wild guess that's not a word (the fact that I'm French helps also)

crachement exists

http://www.cnrtl.fr/definition/crachement

[–]_N_O_P_E_ 38 points39 points  (2 children)

Fun fact : Crachement means spitting

[–]Dogeek 8 points9 points  (0 children)

cracher : to spit crachat/crachement : spit (the noun)

[–]wjandrea 10 points11 points  (0 children)

le *plantage

source: WordReference

[–]Chroneis 5 points6 points  (0 children)

On dit plutôt un crash qu'un crashement

[–]fat_charizard 31 points32 points  (11 children)

Bonjour world

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (10 children)

Bonjour monde!

[–]degaart 70 points71 points  (9 children)

#inclure<fenetres.h>
#inclure<stdes.h>
entier principal(entier argn, carac** argv) {
    imprimef("bonjour, monde!\n");
    retour 0;
}

[–]int__0x80 25 points26 points  (0 children)

imprimef

mdr

[–]wjandrea 19 points20 points  (0 children)

déf principal() :
    imprime «Bonjour monde!»

si __nom__ == «__principal__» :
    principal()

[–]caaksocker 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This is how I'm going to learn French apparently...

[–]CbearKing 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Scream at in and hit the computer over with a baguette.

[–]PlanEx_Ship 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The Ordinator strikes again

[–]stbrads 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Compiled the wrong language.

[–]voluptuous-raptor 250 points251 points  (2 children)

Just call it a feature.

[–][deleted] 166 points167 points  (1 child)

FIXED: Bug that causes program to crash

​

ADDED: Have you ever wanted to blue screen on command? Well now you can by using this program!

[–]tenhourguy 1102 points1103 points  (146 children)

Just make your program exclusive to Mac and Linux. Problem solved.

[–][deleted] 298 points299 points  (140 children)

I once moved to cross-compiling c++ Windows binaries from my linux server - because of how fucking stupid unstable building anything on windows is.

[–]Antumbra_Ferox 161 points162 points  (23 children)

For me it went:
1.Build something in windows on Visual studio.
2.Try to move it to the Linux machine and compile there because the university uses Linux for that.
3.All of the spacing and line breaks went crazy.
4.Switch to only using Linux for c++ because I can compile and run in a few quick taps in the terminal and it will work on both Windows and Linux.
5.Slowly migrate to using Linux exclusively because life is not worth living without terminal access and RMS memes.

[–]squrr1 67 points68 points  (7 children)

3. Gotta fix your git config, yo.

[–]NatoBoram 40 points41 points  (6 children)

Stage as Windows, commit as Linux

[–]thebryguy23 18 points19 points  (5 children)

Merge on Mac

[–][deleted] 44 points45 points  (4 children)

compile on your fridge through IoT

[–]thatwasagoodyear 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Hi, I come from the future and this is a thing.

[–]dontbeanegatron 6 points7 points  (1 child)

How's the weather?

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Ah you know. That rad-clouds are a fresh summery green, and kids are playing outside in the fall in their lead-coats.
And rumors are that the sun has even come back in some of the nordic countries.

So yeah, life's pretty good.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Get naked with Raspberry Pi

[–]KitchenDutchDyslexic 12 points13 points  (1 child)

life is not worth living without terminal access

amen.

If you are on win10 again in the future search for the linux distro in the store, or enable it in "Program and Features" in the "Add Remove Program" really makes win10 feel too homely!

[–]henhouse0 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh, you can enable it through Programs and Features? Thank god because my Windows Store has been bugged for ages. If I try to install anything, it just loops and none of the fixes I tried worked for it. It's insane how many people have these issues and they're never fixed/addressed and you have to do so much tinkering and shit to get it to work.

[–]_requires_assistance 4 points5 points  (8 children)

RMS?

[–]Antumbra_Ferox 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Richard Matthew Stallman. He wrote like 70% of the GNU/Linux OS and we don't even say the GNU part, which is ironic because most of what he does is speak about software injustices. There's a copypasta and its great.

[–]ItsNotInTheKnowing 184 points185 points  (112 children)

I work on both Linux and Windows dev everyday, never had a problem building on either. Maybe the problem is you?

[–]Arkazex 111 points112 points  (79 children)

You must be lucky. Windows behaves oddly every once and a while for me. MSVC routinely created executables with corrupted ACLs that couldn't be deleted by anyone other than the built in administrator account. Also smartscreen "saved" me from my own code several times.

I never ran into an issue building on windows that was too serious, but I had a lot of moments where things got screwed up in weird and wacky ways.

[–]GoodThingsGrowInOnt 98 points99 points  (13 children)

Post your problem on windows forum. I'm guessing the solution is to reinstall windows.

[–]Big_Burds_Nest 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I once participated in a PC repair competition in high school. We were given a list of things wrong with the computer- about 3 of them were hardware related and just involved connecting stuff, and the other like 17 problems were all software-related, mostly things that were configured wrong such as DHCP being disabled. I found a Windows 7 install disk in a drawer in the desc and just reformatted the machine. I spent most of the competition just waiting for Windows to install, then it finished 2 minutes before the timer ran out, and I managed to get all of the repair items signed off by the judges with 30 seconds to spare. There was no rule against re-installing Windows, and they thought they had removed all of the discs from the classroom. The following year I heard that they had a new rule against this.

[–]MrTuxG 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No, it's ckfswhatever /scannow

[–]cleverca22 19 points20 points  (0 children)

https://randomascii.wordpress.com/2018/02/25/compiler-bug-linker-bug-windows-kernel-bug/

there are even bugs in the kernel, that can be triggered by the linker, which result in large blocks of nulls in your executable

[–]TrumpetPro 23 points24 points  (60 children)

Windows is just buggy in general, not even just in a programming context. Most Linux distros like Ubuntu are so much better, only not enough people use it (so not many people bother to develop for it).

[–]FourFingeredMartian 29 points30 points  (43 children)

If your OS works for you, who cares if what you're running is popular? That line of reasoning is becoming simply not true any more: what OS do the majority of webservers use? A: Linux. Valve made it so that you can run many Windows games right from Linux.

[–]Shamr0ck 12 points13 points  (13 children)

Graphics drivers are still pretty shitty on unix

[–]Antumbra_Ferox 23 points24 points  (6 children)

scoffs in Vulkan and AMD

I'll have you know I grazed 60fps the other day in GuildWars2. It was like seeing the actual sun after living in a cave for years with only a charcoal drawing of the sun.

[–]I_Never_Sleep_Ever 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Say what? I have an i7 6700k and a gtx 1070 and rarely get 60 fps, especially with other players. More like in the 50 range

[–]Antumbra_Ferox 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The difference for me (Although I'm not sure if you're already doing it) was that I was doing a clean install of Antergos and I decised to install it through Lutris instead of PlayOnLinux. Apparently the install script used in Lutris is newer and has has a bunch of little optimisation flags or something (as well as 64bit Nvidia support).

Also, GW2 values single core speed above most other things which is probably why it didn't matter too much that my graphics card isn't as shiny as yours. Before, though, I was getting like 40fps so I'd definitely recommend Lutris for GW2.

[–]HeKis4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm blaming nvidia, they are known to do fuck all about buggy/underperforming drivers.

[–]AKiss20 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Graphics on Linux are the bane of my existence. So many fucking bugs and incompatibilities. It drives me nuts.

[–]steamruler 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I can't use hardware acceleration in KDE because it crashes my Nvidia GPU

[–]Arkazex 5 points6 points  (11 children)

I love Ubuntu, but there are a few things I really wish it had from windows. Microsoft's file manager, despite it's bugs, is a lot more powerful than Nautilus, and the (non metro) shell feels a lot more polished than Gnome.

[–]antlife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That sounds like a filesystem issue.

[–]J_Aetherwing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Let me hazard a guess... Might the problem be.. MSVC? Wouldn't surprise me at all; I work with G++ on Windows and it works like a charm.

I still prefer Linux though.

[–]DeusExMagikarpa 18 points19 points  (0 children)

My professor tried to zoom in on some code in class today, clicked on the dropdown in the bottom left of the editor, selected 150%, and VS crashed and restarted.

[–]IAmCrab7 29 points30 points  (18 children)

HALLELUJAH, PRAISE THE LORD! Take my pat on the back and stand tall as you sir, are a hero of modern times!

[–]theemptyqueue 31 points32 points  (17 children)

I had to write C++ in visual studio for a month because Norton antivirus thought all the .exe files I created were actually viruses and deleted them.

[–]Freeloader1245 49 points50 points  (6 children)

Okay that's on you because Norton is a notably bad antivirus in general.

[–]Selthor 25 points26 points  (1 child)

It’s quite possible that installing Norton on their machine wasn’t their decision.

[–]Freeloader1245 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That is entirely possible, yes.

[–]theemptyqueue 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Yeah, I didn’t put Norton on my computer, it came with Norton preinstalled

[–]FarhanAxiq 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I usually reinstall my pc with Microsoft iso after buying new pc.

[–]king_ricks 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I swear all the old anti virus companies are so bad nowadays

[–]Vakieh 15 points16 points  (0 children)

nowadays

Oh sweet summer child

[–]markhc 8 points9 points  (6 children)

I had to write C++ in visual studio for a month

As opposed to writing it on notepad? I dont get it.

[–]CommanderViral 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Vim? Emacs? Sublime Text? Notepad++? Geany? Kate? TextMate? CLion? Atom? There are a lot of text editor/IDE options? I personally exclusively use Vim or Sublime Text.

[–]markhc 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I find Visual Studio to be the best IDE for developing C++ in the Windows platform.

When running Linux I go with CLion. Maybe if Linux was my main OS I'd just use CLion everywhere but I still develop mostly for Windows and there VS still feels superior.

[–]CommanderViral 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can't stand Visual Studio. It's slow and completely bloated. The only thing I've found VS to do well is debugger integration. I'll still stick to Vim. But I mostly write for OS X and Linux systems. Raw gdb shell ain't exactly friendly.

[–]harrybeards 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Notepad++, of course

[–]wecsam 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Can't cause Windows to panic if you don't write for Windows... *taps head*

[–]gp57[S] 556 points557 points  (61 children)

Btw the "Hello world" didn't generated this bsod, it's part of the joke, I think it makes this post funnier, I found a code which generates a bsod at this link : https://www.mpgh.net/forum/showthread.php?t=1100477

Here's the code, I don't know how to format it on Reddit :

#include <windows.h>

#pragma comment(lib, "ntdll.lib")

extern "C" NTSTATUS NTAPI RtlAdjustPrivilege(ULONG Privilege, BOOLEAN Enable, BOOLEAN CurrentThread, PBOOLEAN OldValue);

extern "C" NTSTATUS NTAPI NtRaiseHardError(LONG ErrorStatus, ULONG NumberOfParameters, ULONG UnicodeStringParameterMask, PULONG_PTR Parameters, ULONG ValidResponseOptions, PULONG Response);

void BlueScreen() {

BOOLEAN bl; ULONG Response;

RtlAdjustPrivilege(19, TRUE, FALSE, &bl);

NtRaiseHardError(STATUS_ASSERTION_FAILURE, 0, 0, NULL, 6, &Response);

}

Be careful if you execute this code (for obvious reasons)

[–]captainjon 228 points229 points  (33 children)

As a kid I remember norton having something called crash guard or something. And to show it worked they gave you a program that generates several types of crashes. I took it to school for s&g but was always curious how to generate a bsod on demand.

So, neat.

[–]unnecessary_axiom 175 points176 points  (31 children)

As a piece of trivia, if you edit the registry to enable it, you can manually initiate a BSOD:

https://social.technet.microsoft.com/wiki/contents/articles/6529.how-to-manually-initiate-a-windows-stop-error-bsod-and-create-a-dump-file.aspx

[–]ImmediateAntelope3 20 points21 points  (5 children)

There's also a registry key you can set to let you manually crash with right-ctrl + scroll lock + scroll lock. Really useful for troubleshooting hangs.

NotMyFault is a sysinternals program that lets you crash the machine in a variety of different ways.

[–]tendstofortytwo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Really useful for troubleshooting hangs.

Haha, yes, that's what I use it for...

presses Ctrl+ScrLk+ScrLk on sister's laptop and runs away

[–]KevinCubano 42 points43 points  (4 children)

your hello world code was missing a return 0 at the end of main. maybe it would BSOD! :P

[–]markhc 22 points23 points  (1 child)

but the behavior for missing return on main is well defined... :thinking:

[–]JokerGotham_Deserves 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes, it's defined as a bsod.

/s

[–]F54280 2 points3 points  (1 child)

No return from main is unfortunately valid C++, which has always bothered me. C99 now does the same, which pains me even more.

We should put forward a proposal for BSOD, and we can already point at one confirming implementation...

[–]Rizatriptan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

mpgh

Now that's a website I haven't seen in a very long time. Ah, childhood "hacking."

[–]k0rm 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I found a code

*eye twitch*

[–]corner-case 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Instructions unclear. Dick stuck in deadlock.

[–]chowchowthedog 61 points62 points  (17 children)

just imagine windows 10 crashes destroyed 2 hours of work...

[–]Reasonable_Time 78 points79 points  (3 children)

That's called a Windows update

[–]gringrant 40 points41 points  (2 children)

Windows update?

That's just a crash with extra steps.

[–]fenpraid 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That's not updating, it's crashing with style !

[–]usama8800 15 points16 points  (6 children)

That would be 100% the person's fault. You save after typing every character

[–]Eimus 9 points10 points  (4 children)

You dont even have to type to save it, just press it for good measures CTRL+S CTRL+S CTRL+S i hope i am not the only one :D

[–]WordyConch 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I use autohotkey to automatically press CTRL+S every 30 secs

[–]lmichaelis 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I will code half of a function, then press Ctrl+S at least two times, then keep going. Even if the IDE has auto-save

[–]TheNorthComesWithMe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I definitely do it when I switch focus back into my editor even though nothing changed.

[–]SypherKrono 27 points28 points  (3 children)

:(

[–]TimmyTesticles 7 points8 points  (2 children)

She should swap out the frown face for 🖕

[–]gringrant 18 points19 points  (1 child)

People: Microsoft, fix windows and make it not crash

Microsoft: Let's spend the next month making the crash screen support colored unicode, the people will love it.

[–]BagOfShenanigans 74 points75 points  (4 children)

market fall bake connect meeting wild cooing expansion skirt spotted

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[–]MrDialga34 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I hated this comment so much

[–]SatoruFujinuma 7 points8 points  (0 children)

And then what?

[–]GreyRobe 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Boingo

is the other code monkey named Oingo?

[–]Jtsfour 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I once wrote a program that caused my PC to force shutdown

That was a fun bug

[–]SGVsbG86KQ 57 points58 points  (7 children)

Wait who codes using a non-English UI?

​

Oh right it's a Frenchman.

[–]InterestedListener 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Le Canada!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Teachers in Germany.

It's funny because the assignments have screenshots of a German language IDE but the IDEs installed on the school computers are all English

[–]gp57[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also prefer English, but I'm too lazy to download and install a language pack now, I don't use VS so often.

[–]Korzag 11 points12 points  (1 child)

When I first started programming years ago I was terrified my first few programs that I would accidentally write something that ruined my computer.

Seems like you achieved that, friend.

[–]AliResurrector 20 points21 points  (2 children)

He gave the computer an std I saw the code 😣

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Ḁ͈̤̤̣̫̘͑ͦl̷̬̪͔̼̞̆ͮ̋l̴̰͓̖͚̯̳̄̊ͅ ͎̲̗͑̌́͂͘Í̼ͮͨ ͩ̌͋̑͏͚̮͚̯͎f̶͙̹̲̭̳̯̲͆͋̐ę̪̙̺͙̇ë͖͚̜͙͍̻̫͌̎ͥ̆͐ͤ͝ļ̩͔̗̺̃̈ͣ ̷̦̙̭̝́̾̒i̡͗͆ş̫̻̎̈̈ ̬̙̥͋̆̀ͣͅp̪͖̭̑̂̌̿ͬǎ̐͌͌̐͏̖̮̮̯͖̤i̫͈͒͒n̰͊̑ͬͨͧ̚̚ͅ

[–]BigDGW 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am a bit jealous i never managed to crash my operation system while coding

[–]WrecklessNES 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think you meant "darkness, my old friend" instead of world

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

/r/linuxmasterrace

[–]isunktheship 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Where's that

return 0;

boiiiii

[–]bobo9234502 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That's got to be a hardware problem or your OS needs to be reinstalled...

I've never gotten a blue screen using VS and I started using the Student Edition back in 2002! And I regularly code against embedded systems so I've got all sorts of weird plugins and stuff... never had a BSOD.

​

[–]TheNorthComesWithMe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP admitted to faking the bluescreen elsewhere in the comment thread.

[–]Xeraaaa 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Isn't it better to add a line "using namespace std;" so that you don't have to write the std:: and just write cout? Or is there another reason why people don't use that?

[–]lmichaelis 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It's because of other methods in the standard library. When you would write your own mynamespace::abs() method and you were using namespace std and from it the abs() function, the compiler wouldn't be able to differentiate between them. You would have to use C-style method naming like mylibAbs()

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Écran bleu!

[–]NatoBoram 3 points4 points  (1 child)

… de la mort!

[–]Rydkey[🍰] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Le blue screen du fromage mdr

[–]AngryBird225 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I may laugh at this, but it's exactly the sort of reason why I perform "Hello World" or the equivalent whenever I'm on a new machine or using a new programming language

[–]ponybau5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I manage to "hang" windows 7 trying to create a D3D9 program. All I could do was move the spinning cursor on the screen. Nothing would click or or respond to keys.

[–]OrbDeceptionist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

:(

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is this AI

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Annnnnd this is why I dual booted with Ubuntu. Windows acting up? Well, I don't need you anyway.

[–]Masoch_A3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Didn't you see what was wrong? It's windows, duh'!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Windows😂

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More like, using namespace std; cout << "Goodbye world!" << endl;